Chayei Sarah - Living From The Essence

2:30 Lach Lachach, we know where Avramah Vino is from. And I imagine that if you're Eliezer and you're the faithful servant of Avramah Vino, I imagine you knew too. Because like who doesn't know things about their Rebbe? I know my Rebbe or Parnas was from Perth Amboy, New Jersey. Why I know that? One time he told it to me and it registered in my head. Eliezer for sure knew that Avram Avinu was from Charon from Ur-Qasim. And now, as he's on his way to get to Shaddok, he says to him, Go back to my land, go back to my birthplace. Go back to Charon, go back to Ur-Qasim. Eliezer needs to be reminded of this right now. This is relevant information. This is important to helping Yitzchuk find the Shaddok. Apparently it's important. The question is why. Now imagine that you're Eliezer. That's our first question for the night. Why?

3:19 Imagine you're Eliezer, you have a huge task in front of you, maybe the most important task. You're the sharchan for the most important sharchan in the history of the world. Because Avramah Vinu did not meet Sarah through a shara. How do you know? When did Avramah Vinu meet Sarah? All the way back when? Which parshah? The end of parshah's nawakh, right? The end of parshah's nawakh, that's when Avramah Vinu meets Sarah. And it says that he took her for a wife. Does it say that there was a sharchan? Is there an entire story? I don't know how they meant, maybe camp ask. But the... it was shirkling, yeah? Somehow Sarah and Avramovino met. But this story, this is like a built-out story. Eliezer, you are going to be the sharkhin to find a wife for Yitzchak. That's a big job because you're about to find the future mother of all of Klal Yisrael.

4:09 Now if you're Eliezer and you're traveling, right? You're not finding a local girl, you're not finding somebody that you could come bring her to Avramovino and go, You know the Schwartz's? It's a good family, the Schwartz's. My oldest daughter married a good friend of mine's son. Easy shittuch. Easy shittuch. We played basketball together on Fridays. Great guy. Went to JEC as a kid, right? Just a good guy. So it was easy. Somebody, when the shittuch came up, my wife called me. She said, you're not, you're going to be so excited. The shaadchan in the neighborhood, Mrs. Friedman, who's an amazing shaadchanit, she called us up and she said, Binyamin Ommar would be a good shittuch

5:13 Wai'charn is a good one. What else? Why not where they live? Why not where they live is a good one? I don't know. How am I going to know? How am I going to find what you're clearly looking for something? How am I going to know? How am I going to know what you're looking for? Yeah? So I've run with you and who says, okay, go back to my birthplace. How am I going to know what to look for? Yeah? Okay. I'll tell you what I think this means. We'll jump in right away. I'll tell you what I think this means. It kind of means, if you're thinking about this a little bit deeply, it kind of means the following. Whoever Eliezer is going to find is going to be someone who has kind of the same exact journey as Avram Avinu. Just like Avram Avinu left Ha'ran and Orchazim to come to Eretz Kanan, Eliezer's going to know the girl by what?

6:10 By her ability to replicate exactly what avram avinu did. Does that make sense? In other words just like avram avinu was called upon to leave Eretz To leave charon to leave ur qasim and come to Eretz qanaan, Eliezer the girl you are going to find she has to be willing to come. And by the way isn't that what Eliezer says to avram avinu? He says, what if she's not willing to come? Can I bring your son there? What does Avram Mevinu respond? Absolutely not, not the right one. Why not? Why not? Why is that so m'akiv? You know, like this is a big thing in Shaddokim. He wants to live in Eretz Yisrael, she wants to stay in America. Is that a good...should we break the Shaddok over that? Avram Mevinu says, this is the line in the sand. She has to be willing to leave Haran, to leave Ur-Kasim to come. Can Yitzchak go there?

6:58 I'm sure they're absolutely not, why not? Maybe she's a tadekis, maybe she's a very fine girl. Okay, so they'll live out of town, why is this such a big deal to Avramovinu? I think the answer is this, and you'll tell me if this makes sense, I think the answer is, a girl who's not willing to make the same travel arrangements as Avramovinu, a girl who's not willing to go through that journey is not a wife or yetzhok. And tonight what I want to show you is everything that Avramovinu does, Rifka does they lead almost exactly parallel lives and the way that Eliezer knows and we'll see why this is important in a moment the way that Eliezer knows who's going to be the wife for Yitzchak you have to find another avram avinu that's the key and so he's being told you said why charan right somebody has that over here why charan remember who was why charan what's the what's the answer now what do we know he's looking for who said it he's looking for another he's looking for a Find the Female Version of Ram Avramovinu That's what Avramovinu was looking for for his son.

7:58 Find the Female Version of me. So now, here's a good one, yeah? I never thought of this before in my life. I literally never thought of this before yesterday. I saw it in an alshach, it's an amazing alshach. The alshach haqadosh says as follows. When Avramovinu was told by Hashem Lachlachah, was he in Charan, staying in Charan, or was What was the answer? He was already leaving. Did you all know that? Terah was already on his way from Haran to Eretz Kanan. When Avram Avinu gets the call from Hashem, Lach Luch Ha'Mein Aritz Chomilat Chombezadeecha, L'Aritz Hashera Echor. Now I have a question. If I'm on a journey and God goes, go on the journey. I'm already on the journey. What's Hashem telling him? So listen what the Al Shukha Kader says. It's an amazing Al Shukha Kader. Haafel Elavicha Leos Holichacharov Don't just go to Kenan because your dad is going.

9:00 Rather, kiyem lech lecha, le atzmukha. You have to leave your father to make this journey. Even though your dad's on the journey already, you have to leave your father and go on the journey. We're going there anyway. You know, the way I think of it is like this. Imagine for a moment, yeah, you're in the car. I was a kid, we grew up, we lived in the five towns, we used to vacation in a place called Onset, Massachusetts. Anyone here from Boston? Terrible. Boston's an amazing place, yeah? There's a beautiful beach town called Onset, Massachusetts where Efsalivacik used to be the rough. An amazing, amazing beach town. We used to go there every summer. Imagine you're on the highway. You're driving, you got all the stuff, you're leaving for two weeks, your whole car is packed up, and the voice of God starts ringing in my ears. Go to Onset, Massachusetts. What would I say to God? Perfect. I'm already going.

9:49 This is sick, right? Or maybe we stopped along the way. Maybe we stopped in Connecticut and now I'm gonna think to myself Why should I have a fight with my father? I'll wait until my dad is ready to go and then I'll just hitch my wagon to his and we'll go to onset together God says no, no, no You have to break away from the journey that your father's on to go to the same exact destination You know if you did this with your if you did this like with your parents and you came to your abeim here in Tomer the

11:48 Terach, He's an idolater! He's also Avram's father. It's not an easy thing to do to break away from This is exactly the test of Avram Avinu. Will you break away from your family? Now let's look at the story of Rivka because it's literally almost the same exact thing. First we look what says, vayam, lavinu, b'sul, vayam, rameyash, shami'atzad, davar, lonu, l'uch, dabar, lacharaotov. Lavinu, B'Sul, Lavin' her brother, B'Sul her father, they said, this shadach, this from God. We don't get, this shadach is from God. Every once in a while, Shaachun calls great idea, you go, this shittuk is from God. Loving them B'Sul, they were so excited for Rivka to marry Yitzchak. Hineh Rivka l'vannachach, kach valei chutei, ishol b'ana donachach kashadibir ashem. Rivka is right here, go taker. And then what happened after that? They started getting cold feet. You know that B'Sul backed out of the shittuk?

13:08 You girls know this? What does Rashi say? B'Sul backed out of the shittuk? What happened to B'Sul? The Malach killed him. Because otherwise the dad was going to get in the way of the shoduch. I don't want to say anything, you know what I'm saying? Like, Bezd Hashem, all your dads will be into your shoduch and nobody's going to have to die. Especially if it's a good shoduch. But, but, no, now we get our means. Yeah, but, but, Shulul was getting in the way, Kabbush Baruch had to take him out. But look what the boss says. So what did he do? Love him was like, okay, you gotta like slow this shoduch down. He had already given his consent. Slow this shoduch down. Vayom Rachiyavim emateshi van ha'ri'etonu yom emo'osor acha telech. Her brother and her mother said, maybe she should stick around. Like, it's a big deal she's going to move to another country. You know, like it's a big deal to move.

13:54 Let's ten months a year. Let's keep her around, and let's see where she's holding in ten months or a year from now. What does Rifke do? Vayikro le Rifke vayom ru'elah HATEi L'Apphi Emah Magnushe Va'Tomer Eliich They called Rifketh in They said you Want to go with this guy? What does she say? One word. Elaich I'm Going Elaich Lachlachach It's right there, and look what Rashi says Listen to the words Me atzme This is the entire shia right here in one word This word we're gonna come back to for the rest of the shia I'm going me atzme What does me atzme mean? From Myessence V'afim Ein Chimrotsim Even if you guys aren't down, and even if you guys are standing in my way, nothing is going to stop me from going. So there's an amazing parallel here. Terah Ch is on a journey. What does Avram Avinu have to do? Break away. Lach Lach HaChah Has to be for yourself. Fast forward. Now Eliezer is in HaRon. He's in Orchazim. He meets a girl. She's awesome. We're going to get to why she's awesome in a second.

15:06 She says, Yeah, I'll come back, the parents are into it, the parents are into it, did the parents get cold feet, what did she say? I'm taking this journey, Me'atzmi from my essence, I'm broken away, meaning I'm carving my own path. It's literally, who did Eliezer find? The female version of, of Avram Avenue, good. That's the beauty. The beauty is that there's clear echoes of lachlachah here, okay. Now there's another piece to this. What does it mean to live from your essence? What does it mean to break away from your family of origin? I'm not Chassushah, I'm saying that people should. You come from an awesome family. Every one of you, I imagine, comes from an amazing family. You should be zoch'dah to continue the traditions of your amazing family. And yet, there is something called independence. And what that means is that we have to own our Yiddish kite. Elo K'avi for sure, it's the god of our forefathers.

16:01 But also Zechalit V'anvayu. It's Anivahu. It has to be a uniquely personal relationship with Hashem What does it mean to develop your own relationship with Hashem? So listen listen to an unbelievable comparison here. Berezius 24 Berezius chapter 24 verse 40 This is what Eliezer is telling Rifka's family. You girls know that their story is basically repeated twice in this parasha, right? I assume all of you are reading the Chumash every single week. It's absolutely something you should be doing You should read the story of the parshah every single week Yeah, so the story is repeated and now Eliezer is telling Rivka's family everything that happened Vayyom mary elay Hashem her share his salah t. L'chaunov yishlach malachu Yitach v'itzliya takach hav la cakti isha Liv'nimim shbakti im v'yis avi Avram, my master told me, look at the words, Hasher his Salah T. L'chaunov interesting how it refers to Avramavino right? Asher Salakhty Lofanov The Lord before whom I walked anybody else know where that phrase appears in Chumash?

17:06 Asher Salakhty Lofanov it's an amazing thing that's how Eleazar describes Avramavino the God before whom I walked it's a Rashi and Barretius very good it's a Rashi and Barretius in Noah chapter 6 verse 9 let's look at Rashi Esa Elo Kim isal ech noach. What's great about noach? Noach is a big tzadik. But it's interesting. Esa Elo Kim, first there's God, isal ech noach. And then noach walks after God. Yeah? But here asher isal achti lefonav. What comes? Ashem Avramim walks before God. Yeah? So what does it mean here? So look what Rashi says. Uba Avramu oma asher isal achti lefonav. Noach Chayatsar chzad L'Tamchav Avol Avram ha'yim ischazek u mahalch bitzidkom e'elav What's the difference between Noach and Avramahinu, says Rashi? Noach required God's support in order to be at Sadech. That's what made Noach was amazing, but he needed Hashem. What made Avram great? Look at the words.

18:10 Avram ha'yim ischazek u mahalch bitzidkom e'elav Avramahinu was so strong and he lived from his essence to such an unbelievable degree, He Didn't Even Need God To Rely Upon. Noach needed God to rely upon. Avrom Avinu was absolutely clear in his mission nothing was going to shake him. And Avrom was able to maintain his independent thought in his life because of that. It's a Rambam and Avoduzar. Everybody has to learn these Rambams and Avoduzar at some point in your life. Amazing Rambams. When you look at the Rambam, the Rambam tells you what it was like to be Avrom Avinu. And he goes the whole thing, you have it in front of you, but I just want to read from the end. Avur Mevinu says, V'lohayelomu Lameyv'lomo Diyadavr Avur Mevinu had no teachers Avur Mevinu, the Ramban says, had nobody to tell him about God And not only that, Elo Mishuqa Barakazim baino vey kochav matipshim V'av veyimav cholam v'ov'y kochavim He says he was Mishuqa, what does that mean? He was surrounded He was surrounded by who? He was surrounded by idolaters The entire country went insane Low energy, unfocused, foggy? You might be dehydrated. Gatorade Zero Powders have been scientifically designed to help improve hydration balance in the body.

19:28 With a clinically proven electrolyte blend and no artificial colors or flavors. Great tasting hydration no matter where you're going. Shop now online or at retailers nationwide. Gatorade. Hydrates better than water. Is it in you? Those of you who just followed the midterm elections in America, the entire country went insane. It happens. The Ramban calls them tipshim. They're idolaters. They're fools. And the Ramban says, and it wasn't just the country. It was his own parents. And now the Ramban says an unbelievable thing. The Hu'oveit Imaheim. You ever read this, Ramban? Avram Avinu was an idolater. Avram Avinu served idols. I didn't make it up. It's a Ramban. V'libo mishotetu mevan ach hehizik darachaymes. The haven kavatzedik mitu nasu anochona. And what did Avram Avinu do? In his heart, he was always exploring. In his heart, he was always thinking. And eventually he left. This Ramban is a pele dikarambam. The Ramban himself says that Avram Avinu was an idolater.

20:38 Just like everybody else in the country, just like his parents. Wild ramban. You ever hear of a ramban like this before in your life? You knew this ramban? I always grew up. What was the story you heard growing up? And little Medrash says, right? That Avram Vinu was a child and he went ahead and he smashed all the idols. That might be true. That might be true. But not when he was little. When he was little, he was an idolater just like his mom and his dad. Mami and Tati worship idols so do I but what made Avram Avinu different? He had no teacher. He had no one to tell him this is crazy. You're gonna murder children and sacrifice them to an idol. You're gonna defecate in front of an idol. You're gonna serve your food to an idol. He had nobody tell him that it was crazy. You know where the Rambam says Avram Avinu got it from? From his own heart. This is what made Avram Avinu great. Because even if everybody in the world was going crazy he said I'm going to be a man.

21:34 I know how to rely on myself. I know how to look inside myself to find the truth. What does it mean to be the first Jew in the world? To be the first Jew in the world means one very simple thing. It doesn't matter what everybody else is doing around you. You have to be a thoughtful person to draw from the well springs of your own self. That's what it means to be Avram Vino. Where do we see this by Rifka? I told you it's going to parallel exactly the entire time. Where do we see that Rifka lived from her essence and did not follow So people around her, it's not in this week's parasha, you know where it is? It's next week's parasha. Next week's parasha says V'hiyit Chak ben arbaam shana V'kakto us rifke baz bizzu alarami V'padar am achos lavan arami lola isha And what does Rashi say? Why does it repeat this? Rashi says, Elilah haggishvachah This is to bring shevach, it repeats this information that we know to give praise to Rifke emayna. What was amazing about her?

22:31 Shahais Abbas Rasha She was also the daughter of a Rasha, just like Avram Avinu was the son of Terach, she was also the daughter of B'Suel, the Achos Rasha, and also her brother wasn't so great. Who was her brother? Love on our army, not a great family to come from. By the way, just a side note, I guess you see from the Torah that maybe family is not so important. Maybe it matters about what the person is like themselves. Just a side note, just food for thought for when you eventually hear the guy is great but maybe the family is a little complicated. Sometimes great people come from complicated families. Sarah married Avram and Yitzchuk married Rifka. I guess maybe some things need to be changed. Ok, fine. Ummukomai Anchei Roshah and not only that, Rifkei Emenu grew up in a nation where they were all Rishonim.

23:22 What does Rashi say? V'lolamda Mima Sayyam. And yet, she stood on her own two feet and just like Avram Mevinu who lived from his essence, what does Rifkei Emenu do? She lives from her essence. Ok, great. So now what do we know so far about Rifkei Emenu? Number one, she lives from her essence, she's willing to make the journey alone even if her parents aren't masking. Number two, she's a real person. She does not just follow what everybody else is doing. She's not cookie cutter. She's not typical. This word typical has become a, like it's a badge of honor in the Jewish world. She's typical. Why is that a badge of honor? Just to be like everybody else? Congratulations. You're another in the product of robots that we've created that can say and do exactly the right thing without having an original thought. This is not what it means to be a Jew. Avramovino was an original thinker and so was Rifka. And by the way, the great people throughout all of Klal Yisrael's history, they were original thinkers. They were innovators. Sarush Nairu was an innovator. The author of Slabarka was an innovator. It was close. But you pulled it off. Yeah? There's always every shear in Mevaseret, somebody's water bottle drops. It's a bad, you know, we have these amazing water bottles now. They're metal. It's like a, it's like a grag around Purim, you know?

24:42 The Chasseh is the one who watches around a little bit also, not just the one claim. I feel so badly now, because you really did a great job of catching it, and I made it a bigger deal than it would have been. I saw the look on your face, that was real trauma. Like it was like, ha ha! I saw your heart was still beating. Okay, good. Welcome back. Okay, let's look at the Chasseh, because that's the most obvious one, right? The Chasseh of Avram Avino and the Chasseh of Rivkal, look inside the Torah. The Chasseh is exactly the same. Let's look at Avramah Bino first. Yeah? Well first even before we get to Avramah Bino. What makes Rifka worthy of marrying Yitzchak? What makes him worthy of marrying Ritzchak? So if you take a look in Rashi on the Pasluk chapter 24 verse 14 What does Rashi say? Ru'u yahilo shateh gomel eschassadim. What made her a worthy wife?

25:34 She was Me'al chazam she was abbaos chesed u'kadayel ekanis bebei shoshallah v'ramavinu It made her worthy of actually and like she could fit into the house of V'ramavinu which is the house of Chesed Okay, so let's look at this How does Avramavinu do Chesed? So we all know how Avramvinu does Chesed is he runs He runs, he runs to do Chesed Girls, when you're doing Chesed you gotta run to do Chesed Some people walk to do Chesed you're gonna miss out on the opportunity Yev Chassid Yev Teran Tuch Chassid What does it say by Avram Avinu? Vayim mahir Avram, m'olah elsara Vayim mehari, shloshim kamachsolus lushi ugos He ran to the tent of Sarah and he said, let's make all these cakes, let's get it going, we got guests, we gotta go. Yelabakar rots Avram And Avramim, he ran to the cattle and he ran to get the best stuff.

26:27 Where do we see that Rifkah Ram? Take a look. Chapter 24 verse 18 Vatomer Shisei Adoni Vatimahir How does Rivka do the Chesed? Just like Abramovinu. She also runs Vaterei koda al yodavatashakayu, right? Vatimahir, Vatar kodalashkos. Everything Rivka Yiminu does, she runs just like Abramovinu. She runs to Chesed. That's one. And there's another Another piece of this chassid. Girls, when you're doing chassid, say a little, do much more. Under promise over deliver. That's the key of chassid. Under promise over deliver. Somebody goes whoa, I can't believe, she said she was going to do this, she did so much more. That's unbelievable chassid. Where do we see this by Avram Avinu? Yukach na ma'atmaayim. He says please let me give you a little bit of water. Ve'rakh Tzurag Lachan. And you'll be able He gave them cream, he gave them milk, he gave them a calf. What did he promise them? A little bit of water? Under promise? Over deliver. That's the way of the Chaz Rav Rav Ram Overdeliver. That's the way of the Chaz Rav Rav Ramavinu. What about by Rivka? Where does Rivka say she's going to give a little bit and then she gives much more? Where do we see it? Chapter 24 verse 17.

28:00 Vayyere tz'evah lacrassah, vayyomer ha'kme'eni na ma'amikadeich. What does Eliezer ask for? Give me how much water? Just give me a little bit of water. Just like Av Ramavinu. Just a little bit of water. Just give me a little bit of water. What does she do instead? Not only does she give Eliezer everything he needs to drink. What else does she do? All the camels and by the way if you look in the Arachaim Hakadosh, the Arachaim says she was sensitive because she knew that if she would tell Eliezer, oh I'm going to give you water and your camels then Eliezer was going to feel bad and say to this young girl who was very little at the time it's too much for you. So she said I want to be able to do all the chassid possible so she said first let me feed Eliezer, get him what he needs and then I'll take care of the camels. So literally she does under promising over delivering just like a Ramavino. Last one. What happens when you do a Chassid? There's two types of people. There's some people who do the Chassid and leave and then there's some people that do the Chassid and stay. You know what it means to do the Chassid and stay? You visit somebody in the hospital, yeah? You came to give them food in the hospital. You could deliver it. You could be Uber Eats. That is not the Chassid

29:11 V'vramovinu. What's the Chazid of V'vramovinu? I'm here. I'm hanging out. I'm here for you. Look what it says by V'vramovinu chapter 18 verse 8. L'chakhamavicholu v'beneh abakarasher asavayitin l'vnehem. He gives them everything. He takes them the cream and the milk and the calf. Who all made Alehem and what does he do? What does all made Alehem means? He stayed. Why does he stay? Because if you're a real bakhezid, you know what you do? I'm here. I'm here with you. Whatever you need. I've got you. That's what it means to be a real bakhezid. Some people, they're uber-eats. Some people know how to be om et'alayim. Fascinating that we're going to see the same thing by Rivka. What happens? Chapter 24 verse 19. Batchecha lashtosovatomer gamleg malachah echev ad'enkilu lishtos I will draw water from your camels when? Until they have finished drinking. What does that mean, Rivkei Menu is saying?

30:07 I got them. Anything you need, I'm here. The Chesed of Rivka parallels 100% the Chesed of Avram Avinu. And not surprisingly there's a very famous bracha that your father is going to give you Under The Chuppah There's so many kids, mamish the most Haredi families, you can have 12, 15, 17 children. This is what he's promising of Ramavinu, yeah? Vayirash Zaracha Eshar O'Ivav And your descendants will inherit the cities of their enemies. Most people aren't aware of that part of the bracha. The descendants of Ramavinu are going to get the cities of their enemies. Where else do we see this bracha? It's the bracha of Rav and Terefka. V'varkhu es Rifkeh Listen what Lavon does, he gives his sister Rifkeh brachah bayomr lachob sayinu act. You are our sister. Hoya yi l'a'al fay Riv'va. You are going to have a tremendous amount of kids, just like Avramovino. V'yirash zharachah esharach sonov. And your kids are

31:41 going to inherit the cities of their enemies. Isn't it a fascinating thing that Rifkeh G-d gets literally the same exact bracha that a ramabinu gets by the Aqedah. What's the pshat? So I want to tell you an unbelievable kliyakar. The kliyakar says, you know why you can be confident that the kids of Rivka are ultimately going to be victorious in battle? Since Rivka is such a bala chassid, when she goes to war, people will follow her. Because if you do chassid for people, in times of battle, you'll have people on your side. You ever have people like that Chaz Qal ha-yoch sin ha-lalu lon niktivu ela bishvil pasak za'

33:46 The tent was open on all sides, right? After Sarah Emenu died, the hotel was open. There were no visitors. There were no guests. Moths to the flame. Sarah Emenu was the flame. People came for the experience of being with Sarah. They didn't come for the food. They didn't come for the bed. They didn't come for the hospitality. They wanted to be with Sarah Emenu. You know what the Magyar says? When Rivka came, everyone came back. Everyone came back. Why? Why did everyone come back? So here's what I think the secret is. And the entire shear is building towards this point. This is the most unbelievable thing for Shaddokhem. You go out on a date. Who shows up? Very Rarely You and Very Rarely Him. You know what happens on a first date? You put on an aversion of yourself and he puts on a version of himself and you introduce the version that you think is acceptable to that guy. That's what a first date looks like. You go out, you say, okay, you're like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be like dressing in a certain way. I'm gonna show up. Nothing wrong with this. I'm gonna look my best. I'm gonna act my best. I'm gonna be on my best behavior.

35:04 If you're right, everything he says is funny if you actually like him. If not, you're just like, heh heh. But if you like him, you find yourself laughing a little, oh that's how he's so funny. And you're like overdoing it a little bit. Why? Because I want him to like me back. And he's also doing it, right? I remember when I went on my first date with my wife, showed up, nice suit, black hat. How do you know? Anyway, you show up, you present a version of yourself. I'm going to tell you a secret. You know when dating gets good? When you hit a point in the relationship where you're vulnerable enough to actually show up on a date. And if he's vulnerable enough to actually show up on a date, now you have a chance to actually marry each other. But versions cannot marry

36:29 This version of yourself cannot marry that version of himself. It's just not the way attraction happens. Attraction happens from the soul. It happens from the osmus. It happens when people show up in self. When you show up in self, you're a superpower. When you show up in self, you know what it means? It means you're courageous enough to be able to say, I'm on my own path. This is me. This is me. I'm on a path. A guy who meets a girl who's on a path, you know what he finds himself going? Hey, she's a real person. She's got a kav in life. She's going somewhere. It's impressive a Girl who's in self has individual thoughts. She doesn't just parrot She doesn't just parrot everything that's being told to her because it's unimpressive You show up you want to talk to a real human being no you ever meet a guy who wasn't real and you're just like not you I'm saying like I'm sure you've never met a real guy in your life all the robots you've met You know I'm talking about a guy who's just like, like you press A7 and you get a bag of chips, there's certain things you can, and like, certain guy, my Rebbe told me that, you know, I was like, do you have a thought in there? Have you considered anything in your life, right?

37:39 Okay, so you have met that guy. Testing hydration no matter where you're going shop now online or at retailers nationwide Gatorade hydrates better than water is it in you? Symptoms noted are signs of mild to moderate dehydration consult a healthcare professional If Symptoms Persist Like, you know, like I remember somebody once told me they're like, I was dating, and the guy is like a great guy, he's like, I'm dating this guy, it's like, I can't get anything, it's like, it's like just talking to a rock. I was like, why? What's happening today? I asked him what he does in the summer, he said learn. I asked him what he does in the year, learn. I asked him what he does at night, learn. I asked him what he does in the morning, learn. She's like, I couldn't get anything out of him. I called the guy, I was like, dude, you gotta give her something.

38:37 So he came the next day, I learned bababasra. And I'm like, dude. I knew you when you were 16 in NCSY Kola and you went to Frisch. You weren't always learning bababasra. Tell her your story. You know, you have a lot of thoughts. You're a thoughtful person. You gotta share with her who you are. If you just show up and you're like, well, I don't want to say anything that's gonna cause her to come up and people do this all day. But you can't say, you can't say this is like the nervous anxieties, shittah dating, like I'm never gonna get married, I don't wanna be the girl that's left behind. I can't actually tell him what I think, or maybe even worse, I'm not allowed to have an original thought, because God forbid I have an original thought. Maybe somebody's gonna say, she's not typical. And then what? That's awesome, you're not typical, you have an original thought, you have what to contribute to the conversation. None of us would be here if Sarah Shnera didn't have an original thought. And by the way, it's not like the Basie Akov movement Was like radically accepted right away. I don't know if you know this but it was a very very Not politically correct thing to do to start Beziaqos. Today a girl who doesn't go to Beziaqos Ah, she not go to Beziaqos. But when Sarish Nira started it was a revolution. Have an original

39:41 thought. Show up in self and also here's the biggest thing in the world. Chassid comes from being in self. There's a myth and you can tell the difference. I know there's such a thing called Avram Mevinu was a person who was really doing his best from his deepest place of self to connect with other people. That's what Rifka was. That's what made her Rifka. What made her the mother of the Jewish people.

40:55 The only thing that has happened to people is she was a real person. She had a real self. She didn't just follow the crowd. She had original thoughts. She was on her own journey and she lived to connect with others. That's a Jewish wife. Let's go back to that original question. Eliezer, you're traveling now to Charantor Cosdom to find the wife. Who are you looking for? What's the answer? Not just the replica of Avram Mevinah. What are you looking for? What is Eliezer going to know? She's the one. How's she going to know? How's he going to know? Did he meet a real person? Tini Mehta Balas Chassid Tini Meet somebody who could make a choice to go even if you're not letting me go I'm out I want to be with them That's what it means to be a Jewish mother girls have a beautiful time