Chayei Sarah - Beyond Space

1:56 I like that they're in Judaism we have good words, like coffee and connection. There's all these good alliterations. It's an amazing thing how far the community has come. I don't want to speak negatively, Chassid Shalom, about any community in Chaliyosha, but if you would have told us back in the 90s that we would have, I don't know how many girls are here, but a lot of people coming out on a Thursday night to learn Tzaddik, I'm not sure we would have believed. And thank you so much for opening up. It's a very cool thing. From Chaliyosha, we have a cool Tzaddik. This is like a really cool cafe. It's an amazing thing. Some people know that everything that we build is a conduit for tithing, so this should be a tremendous source of revealed blessing for you and your family. I want to share something that I think is a very profound idea.

2:54 We don't have enough room. There are some chairs over here. It'll be like the base of the church. Let's stand there. By the time Cafe Dami is done inviting Taira in, we're going to take over the entire Cedar Lake and be masked. Rashi in this week's parsha tells us that Eliezer, Eber Avram Left to go find Rivka and arrived on the same day. It's a concept called Kfitza Saderik. Kfitza Saderik. You know any of the stories of the Balshemtov? There are two types of stories about Balshamta. One where he gets stuck on the way, and the other where he has none. Miraculously, they're in that place right away. So this is a story of miraculously, Eliezer showed up on the same exact day in a faraway place Almost instantaneous. He left that morning. He arrives that day. Everything goes the same. There's no miracle in the Torah. That's by accident.

3:57 Everything is a lesson for us. And Bifrat. In the generation that's going to be zayecha to greet Mashiach, which is our generation The Torah is in its most expressed form. That's why sometimes you see in Torah that things take time to articulate. It's not always obvious that you could look back and see that two thousand years ago it was there, but it was not yet articulated. It's an amazing thing to see the gestation of Torah. I was talking to a chaver of mine. Who's a therapist And he learned in the big mussar bat. Growing up, he learned in the big. He learned by revolba zecher tzadik lebrachva. He was in the alei shor chaburo, like real, real things. And when he was doing his training in psychology, it bothered him very much because he said I feel like I'm growing more from all the training that I'm doing than from all the mussar batim that I went to in the mirror.

4:57 So he went to a big tzaddik. I don't know if he wants to be quoted, so I won't say which tzaddik. But he went to a big tzaddik to ask him, 'How could it be?' So this big tzaddik said Psychology articulates what was already said thousands of years ago. But when you actually look at it through this lens, you'll see it was there the entire time, but it wasn't fully expressed. And this happens very often. It happens in these final moments before Mashiach. The Torah that was said thousands of years ago is now being expressed lachas v'shalom in a new way. It's the same thing that's always been said, but we finally have the language to be able to articulate what was being said thousands of years ago, but in a way that's for our generation. So we are living in the most fully expressed version of Torah since Moshe Rabbeinu received it in Har Sinai. It's tremendous for our generation.

5:52 And it's not an accident because the challenges of the generation that are greeting Mashiach are so enormous that the only way to be able to combat these challenges is to be able to have Torah in its most expressed form. I was saying this to someone—I don't remember when. It's been a long couple of days. I'm on like nine hours of sleep in the last three days. I'm pashut not a human being right now. If I was living in this generation, there is no way I would be from. I wouldn't even have a chance of being from. My kolodosh baruch hu made sure that I was a teenager in the 90s, where the worst possible avera you could do was X. Today, I don't know how any of these kids survive. I'm jealous of all of you. I don't know how you survived. Your neshamas must be much loftier than mine that you were able to come. I would have been high every minute of every day.

6:43 It's not even like a bad thing anymore. It's like it used to be at Roly. Today, I don't have to perform. You know what I mean? Notice, it's a pen. It's the addiction to the phone, the artificial intelligence. It's an unbelievable nesoyom that this generation has. Any kid that can make it to a minion today is an unbelievable tzadik. Any girl that's able to hold herself together, it's an unbelievable thing. And how? How are they managing to survive? It's only because barasi yitzchara, barasi tara tavla. That we have Torah in its most expressed form is the only antidote to what's happening today. Which is, by the way, if you're paying attention, if you're in the world of chinuch, if you're in the world of Jewish education, formally or informally. The kids are starving for it. If you go in and lower the bar for them, they're miserable.

7:38 If you go in and you say the bar is here and rise up to the occasion, they will. It's the most unbelievable thing. It's totally counterintuitive. I was in Frisch. Yesterday, Thursday, I was in Frisch. And I was saying to the guys, and it's like eighty guys in the room, which Frisch is unbelievable. Eighty guys in the room, and I said to the guys, you don't want a yeshiva that's going to get you into it slowly. You want to maximize every moment. Every kid in the room was like this. And really, that's what you want. You want a yeshiva, but it's an unbelievable thing. And they want it because they're starving for it, and they know intuitively, even if they can't articulate why. They know intuitively that the only thing that's going to satisfy their thirst is this fully expressed form of Torah. I was talking to a talmud today, whose brother was Bechlaw Mafro Bechlaw Mafro, older guy, very successful in the world of finance.

8:35 And he told me that his brother recently started entering into the parsha of Emuna and Bitachon in a very serious way. He said his brother just bought his first pair of tzitzis since his bar mitzvah, which is an unbelievable thing to think about. And his brother was saying, 'He's like, yeah, like the work to be an Eved Hashem is constant.' And this guy is stunned. He's like, 'I can't believe I'm talking to my brother.' It's such an unbelievably inspirational thing to be speaking to his brother. This generation, we know that the Torah that we're learning right now It's the same Torah, but it's articulated fully because we need it more than ever. Which means that the story of Eliezer, Eved Avram Not having to travel to find Rivka Imenu as a zivug for Yitzchak, it's a tire for us. The challenge always is that it doesn't appear to be for us. You read stories in Chumash.

9:29 I have a chaver who went off to zera when we were 21 years old. Guy is an absolute genius. He was my harusa, the absolute genius. We used to wake up at five o'clock in the morning in the summers to learn together. Whatever he went through, something now he lives in the Czech Republic. And he married a maybe a guy. We're not sure. She's German But it could be that her grandmother was adopted during the Holocaust. He said to me, "It's interesting." He said, "I don't want to do genetic testing to find out if she's a Jew because then I'd have to break up with her." I'm just like, "Come on, that's a lot." You have a chiv to intermarry? Just okay, stop. So I said to me, I said like. Torah doesn't interest you, he goes. I don't spend my life learning mythology. And it occurred to me because you got off the train at 21.

10:15 The last time you learned Torah seriously, you were 21 years old. You never saw the beauty of Torah in your late 20s, 30s, and 40s. You never saw it fully articulated. So he thinks it's mythology. He thinks it's the same thing as learning Greek mythology. I wouldn't disagree with him. One of the challenges in the Chenech system is we teach our children these stories. And it's the right thing to do, but we teach the stories of Tanakh to our children when they're so young. They never get to appreciate it when they're older. And then sometimes when they get older, they think it's silly, like the whole world was destroyed, but Noah had a boat. I'm saying they think it's mythological. They don't see the depth. They don't see the richness of it. What is the story of Eliezer, even Avram Coming to Rivki Ymeenu and the earth? Folded in on itself. That's a strange thing that the Earth folded in on itself. He just took one step and he was there because all of the distance in between magically disappeared.

11:12 This has to have an implication for us, and it has to have a Mashiach level of implication. That's the first question. There's a time in the Torah that's similar to this notion of kritza saderah. We don't really pay much attention to it. But it's not the first time that we've had. Again, it's not exactly the same, but a similar concept. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world, Chazal tell us, from Rashi and Chomesh, Chazal tell us that the nature of a tree was that the tree itself was supposed to taste like the fruit. But when Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world The tree didn't do what it was supposed to do. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created it in a way that you could eat from the bark of the tree, and it would taste like the fruit. Instead, the tree somehow—this is difficult to understand—somehow, the tree doesn't taste like the fruit.

12:06 And that's why there's a punishment. There's a punishment for the tree somehow when other marishim sinned, the tree was included in that punishment. The tree kaviochol didn't do what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted it to do. It's a similar type of thing. The notion that there is no process that the world was supposed to be created in such a way that nothing would have to develop. There's no journey. There's no development of the tree until the point where it has fruit, and then you pick the fruit. There's no development. The nature of a tree was that it was supposed to be an immediate gratification. That I want something, and then it's immediately present. So you can see the parallel that exists over here. That sometimes there's a journey that takes no time at all. And even in the development of the world, the way that the world was meant to be created was in such a way that we eat from the tree and we don't eat from the fruit. There's no need for everything to develop. There's no process involved.

13:05 So what's the pshat there? What's the pshat that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created a tree that has no bechira It has no free will, but somehow the tree decides that it's not going to do what Hakadosh Baruch Hu created it to do. Instead, it's going to be different. And there's not going to be a process. It's not going to be immediate like our Kadosh Baruch Hu wanted it to be. Shalita, what's going on over here? So I want to share with you what I think is a very meaningful tirah, especially for our generation. And I'm a little tired. So I hope that I can articulate it well. And if I don't, please feel free to give me blank stares to let me know that you have no idea what I'm saying. Audience participation. I once heard from my old friend Moshe Tzvi Weinberg. We were in yeshiva together many years ago. There were two mats in yeshiva that year.

13:53 Matt Berg and Matt Weinberg. His beard is much better than mine. But back in the day, I heard a deep thing from him. He said, audience participation is a way of giving to the speaker. There's always that person in the audience who's maybe you don't know, but there's a person in the audience that's always going like this when you're speaking. And I'm like Thank you very much. I'm speaking to you. There's a, and now somebody's going to do it in the back. I appreciate it. Thank you for letting me know that you're present. So go something like this. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created a world that lives with a duality. This is a deep concept. The duality is as follows. On the one hand, everything in the world is an expression of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and therefore everything in the world is absolutely one. There is no two, there is no second.

14:53 Einod Malvado, according to the Balshamtof, means there is nothing other than Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and everything that we think is multiple is only because we're living from our perspective. A good marshal for this is, and I'm sure they're going to have this very soon. Imagine you walked into a futuristic movie. Imagine that instead of walking into a theater and sitting down Imagine if you were actually a participant in the movie. You walk in and there's still that holographic. Used to be when you went to Disney World, they had the shark ride where you wore 3D glasses and the shark ate you, and all the children had trauma for many years. You know that ride. So imagine you walked into So when you're immersed in this futuristic movie You're convinced that the person you're touching and talking to is real. But that's only because you're living within the movie.

15:50 But if the projector would go off for one second, everything would disappear. Because everything that is in the movie is only an expression of the projector. In Hasidic philosophy, this is called Echuda Ilah. The nature of the world. The way it's seen by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and from the perspective of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, everything is one, and everything is actually one. So that's one way of seeing the world. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu creates the world, He creates the world in such a way that that oneness is the actual reality. From the perspective of that oneness, and this is critical There is no such thing as process. If you live from the perspective of Hashem's oneness, there is no time. Hayahoveviyeh means that there's no this moment and then that moment. All moments are folded into each other, and to live within one moment is to live within every moment.

16:54 That's the secret of presence. That's why in the generation that's greeting Mashiach, which is our generation, what's everyone talking about? Everyone's talking about mindfulness. I saw Dr. Benji's coming to Stern. Right? Everyone's talking about like. I'm going to be present. I'm going to actually be present in reality. What does that mean? Why is there a tirah now of like everyone needs to be present in this moment? The answer is This moment contains every moment. And we're arriving at a time in history where to be present in this moment means I don't need to be anxious about the future and I don't need to be depressed about the past because every moment is contained within this moment. That's why tshuva is possible. Our generation is the generation of tshuva. That's the last thing that we need to do is complete the process of returning everything to its source. How could I go back in time and rectify a mistake? How could I possibly do that? The answer is I can only go back in time to rectify a mistake if I understand that moment that was is currently present in this moment, and every moment contains every other moment. So to be present in this moment. And to lead my life in a rectified way means the avera that I did ten years ago. It's possible to rectify it right now.

18:04 Presence means there is no process. Everything is exactly one. There is no second. There's no second moment. Does that make sense? In other words We're arriving at a time in history that is beyond time. That's the end of the process of creation. Creation begins with the word birchas, as if there's a beginning moment and then a moment after that. The nature of reality. From our perspective Is there fragmentation. We learned one plus one equals two. It was the simplest thing that we learned. It was never true. It's not true one plus one equals two. It's only true from our perspective, which is of course the way that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to experience the world, and we'll see in a moment why. But in truth, from the perspective of Yichud Eila, there is no one plus one equals two. There was only ever the one moment of creation, and that's why Hamachadesh betuvo b'chol yom tovim. Every single moment is a brand new moment. There is no this follows that. There is no causation of the world. There's only the appearance of causation in the world, but there's no actual process. Nothing ever needs.

19:22 We have anxiety about what's going to happen. I was talking to a talmud today, and he said, "Yeah, so in the end, everything worked out." I wanted to say to him, it was totally not compassionate to say this, so I didn't say it. But I wanted to say to him, it was already worked out back then when you were anxious about it. Your being anxious did not in any way fuel this moment. That's okay. It was always okay. It's just that we had not yet arrived in our state of fragmentation. We had not yet arrived at the moment that it was okay. I was talking to a dear chaver of mine who's a very big tzaddik. I don't know that people are very in tune with his taira. Which is their avner sholm's taira. But the way that he articulates it I know that people know that Judah Michel is a very special person, but I don't know if people really know what a special person he is. I don't know if people really chaver. I was talking to him.

20:19 I don't remember when it was, but it was closer to the beginning after October 7th. And his son-in-law was We're out fighting. We have no hasagah of what it means. We have no hasagah of what it means to be a newly married woman To be expecting To have a husband who's off in Gaza or sleeping in a ditch somewhere in Lebanon or on a mountaintop that there was once Syria. We have no hasagah of what that means. We have to be so careful not to let go of the emo anochi but zara. Then we have to be with Klal Yisrael every single moment. I was talking to Judah, and he said to me He said it's good now. It's good. It's not. It's not like Rav Kiva said. It's not like Rav Kiva said that it will be good. It's good right now. That was the machleker between Rav Kiva and Nachum Mishgamzu. Nachum Mishgamzu was Rav Kiva's rabbi.

21:18 Rav Akiva said, Kol mand aved rachmano latav aved. You'll see that it will be good. You'll see in the end, you'll be able to see how everything worked out. Nachamish Gamzu was holding on a higher level. The Lubavitcher Rebbe says Nachamish Gamzu articulated his idea in Lashon Hakodesh. So Gamzu latayva means it's good right now. Right now, when it appears to be terrible, it's good. How could it be good if it's terrible? How could it be good? And that's why we have such a challenge with that. I'm supposed to walk into a shiva house and say that it's good. So I'm supposed to hear that another soldier was killed. I'm supposed to hear that I should celebrate that we got. This is the insanity of this world. We should celebrate. We should celebrate that we got the remains of people back. That's a cause for celebration. We're living in such an insane world that yes, in our world, that's a cause for celebration. And I should say gamzulatayva. It's good. What happens to the very real experience? The answer is that from the perspective of Nachum Ish Gamzu.

22:13 All of the goodness that's not yet revealed is already in this moment. It could be that in the world of Rava Kiva, I have to wait to see it, but in the world of Macham Mishkanzu, the goodness that's already present at the end is already present. It's already present in this moment. Everything is already good. Everything is already exactly as it should be. And just because I live within the world of process and have to see it unfold, doesn't mean that it's not already here. Which is a very challenging way to live. But when Hakadosh Baruch Hu creates the world, and this is the key There is no such thing as creation that doesn't involve time. Even though in truth Ichute Ilah is correct, even though we're living in the immersive movie that's really only an expression of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The truth of reality is that it's all one. There is no process. There is no time. One plus one has never equalled two.

23:15 And yet, creation, by its very nature Doesn't rebel against Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Creation doesn't have any bechira. What it means to say is To be created means to live within the fragmentation of reality. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu creates the tree in such a way that the tree's bark tastes like the fruit. But from and that's the MS of the truth. But the truth of our existence is that there is no such thing as a creation that reveals its creator. Because by definition, if I'm in the created reality thinking that everything is Hakadosh Baruch Hu, then who am I? To be distinct from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, which is what Hashem wants. Hashem wants us to experience this world as something other than Him. Because the only way we could participate in a relationship with Hashem. Is to be other than Hashem. So the moment that creation begins, it starts with bereshis. It starts with a sense of fragmentation, a sense of otherness. You're not going to see me in the world. There's going to be a process, and it's only because we experience ourselves as other than Hashem that we can do the only thing that Hashem can't do.

24:35 And I know that sounds like kifira, but hang with me for one second, just so you're not kaifrim. There is only one thing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu can't do. He can't choose himself. Hakadosh Baruch Hu can't choose himself. For that, he creates us. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu could create a reality that feels itself distinct and others, so that created reality could choose Hashem. I remember I was counseling a couple many years ago. The wife was in a terrific amount of pain in the relationship. So was the husband. But they were both—they both loved each other very much. But there was a distance that had become not unbridgeable, but it was quite a chasm. The lacuna, that word? I just learned that word from the Rashi of Mevasseret. He has an amazing vocabulary. The lacuna means the gap. The gap between this couple was enormous. And the wife was a person who was very much working on herself.

25:37 And really, being a person, you know how in marriage There's a sense of drawing power from the other. So she was drawing too much power from her husband. There was too much of a hold that her husband had, and she was too dependent, codependent on him. She was really working on herself to be someone who was separate, distinct, and other from him so that she could be in a relationship. So she was really filling herself up in the healthy way and not the self-care today. Self-care today is like a weaponized word that means I get to be selfish. There's an authentic version of the word self-care, and it's a very powerful word. So that she was really working on herself, and I remember in a session she said to her husband I could fill myself up And I could do 99% of the work But I need you to choose me.

26:29 And it was such a profound moment. Where she said, even if I do all the work and I'm mamish whole from within myself, there is something that, by definition, I'll never be able to give myself. I can't force you to be in a relationship with me. I'm asking you to choose me. That's a very profound moment in a person's life when they realize that no matter how much I fill myself up There's something that's always going to be missing. That's why the notion of I'm going to be whole before I get married is absurd. That's what we tell seminary girls. You have to be whole before you get married. What do you want from these girls? How could you, by definition, something is missing. You could fill your tank up as much as you possibly can, but the joy of getting married is now. There's something that I could never do for myself.

27:18 Hakadosh Baruch Hu is perfect. He needs nothing. His existence is absolutely perfect. There's only something that he can't do because by definition. He is the only thing. From his perspective, there is nothing but him. But he creates a reality that feels fragmented, other, distinct, differentiated from him. So that we can choose the Rebbeinu Shalom. And in order for that to happen, Hakadosh Baruch Hu has to step out of reality, so to speak. He is mitzamsam himself. He creates a vacuum where there is the appearance that he is not. It's machlokus between the Balshemta and the Vilna Gaon. Sim kibshuto, sim lav kibshuto, but we'll go with the Hasidic notion. Hakadosh Baruch Hu pulled Himself back, and the appearance of His absence is where our world is. And so, by definition, once Hakadosh Baruch Hu says Bereishis, now we live in the fragmented world of time. All of a sudden, there's a process. The tree that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created, that the bark should taste like the fruit.

28:20 Amazing. That the bark should taste like the fruit. That's the truth of creation. How come then when I go over? If I would go over to a tree and I would chomp on the tree How come it wouldn't taste delicious? It's not because the truth of that tree isn't that it tastes delicious. If I could see the spirituality, if I could look like the Matrix, if I could look behind the veil of reality, and I would eat that bark, it would taste like the fruit. But because I live within reality. So it doesn't taste like the fruit because I'm a human being and I have to go through the process. I have to live within that process. Does that make sense? Whoa, that was tough. That was like a strong twenty percent that are like, I have a clue what you're talking about. I'm gonna keep going and pretend that didn't happen. No joke. Should I say one more time?

29:15 Like five more times? Four hundred times. We do four hundred times. Really, if I ate the tree The real taste of the tree is the fruit. Because from the perspective of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, which is reality There is no process. The bark does taste like a fruit. But for me, the bark doesn't taste like a fruit because I'm a human being. And I live within the world of a fragmented reality where the tree has to give birth to the fruit. A little bit better. We got about seventy percent of the way there. For the rest of you, I'm so sorry. There's great cookies in the back. You came for something. Make a bracha. What's this got to do with us? How do we arrive at the prophetic moment in time where, from this moment, I can see all future moments? How do I pull back the veil of reality to go underneath reality so that there is no process? How do I live basically from the perspective of Hashem?

30:26 That's the question. That's really the question we're all asking. By the way, it's bfrat for our generation. Why do you think our generation suffers from anxiety and depression more than any other generation? I don't think my grandmother had anxiety or depression. I don't even know if she would like to understand what that means. They lived in a very different way than the way that we're living. People are terrified of the unfolded moment. Or people are depressed because they think they can't meet the moment and have enough capacity to do what needs to be done in that moment. Why are we the generation that's struggling with it? It's because there's something about our neshamas And this is a lot of Rabbi Nachman tired. Rabbi Nachman said about himself. That his Torah came into the world too early And it was brought into the world too early so that it would be ready for the generation of Mashiach. Rabbi Nachman speaks a lot about anxiety and depression. When he wrote it, people thought that he was off. People said, "Who are you speaking to?" There's no people aren't anxious, people aren't depressed. He said, "It's coming." He goes, "I'm writing it now. It had to come into the world early because if it would come into the world today. The Kitzurugim and Shamayim they wouldn't let it into the world." So Rabbi Nachman said about himself, "I'm bringing this parasha into the world early."

31:50 Our generation yearns to be able to know the future. It's like we all want a navi. Wouldn't it be amazing? Be amazing if you like went to Benei Yisrael and met with your navi. Wouldn't that solve the shutdown crisis? It would be an amazing thing. Because if the navi says, just two more years. I'm busy. I could do things. I could become a therapist over the next two years, or whatever type of therapist you're becoming. We yearn for a surety. We yearn for a certain clarity. And we're not okay with the moment that unfolded. We're yearning for a prophetic moment where this moment already inside of it, I can see to the future. How did the Navi do that? So the Rambam and the Mordechai say an unbelievable thing. Do you know that there were Navi schools? There used to be Navi yeshivas. I wonder if they had an admissions process.

32:56 Your Navi school went to Frish and JEC and TABC to make a presentation as to why their Navi school was a good yeshiva. New Navi schools were opening all the time. It would be a very cool thing. The Rambam says, how did you become a Navi? Midos work. Midos work. It's totally unexpected. You would think being a Navi would be like I'm gonna be the biggest Tamochachem. But rather you had to be a big Tamochachem. The way that a person experiences the unfolded moment of the future is the midos work that I do in the present, and that midos work comes down to one essential ingredient. This ingredient is really the most primary form of all midos work that we could possibly do. And that is I'm mevatal myself to the truth. Bittol is the most important midos work that we could possibly do. We spend our lives living within this fragmented reality.

33:58 So sure that this is the truth. That none of us—not none of us—we're all striving to, but having a challenge to actually nullify ourselves to the truth that is. That's what bittl is. Bittl is a recognition that I'm not living aligned with the way that the truth of the world is. I'll try to give you a good example of this. Maybe something like this. You ever get like a traffic ticket, like a bad traffic ticket? There's a lot of safe drivers in here. I got like in my life I've had some bad when I was young had like some bad traffic tickets. So there's always a moment Like there's an anxious moment of like How bad is this going to be? If you've gotten a ticket when you were a kid, you know there are several levels to this. The first level is telling your parents.

34:55 Because they're going to be like I'm taking away the car because I told you that you could only have the car if you drive safely. You gave me a car when I was 16 in the Five Towns. This is as much on you as it is on me, but we don't have the language to tell that to our parents. And then there's the next moment, which is like now you go to court to fight it, and there's an anxiety in that moment. I'll share with you an amazing story. The first time that I ever went to court to fight a ticket. I was already from Israel. I got a ticket right outside of my house in Lawrence. I was going 55 in a 35. And I get to court and I'm like, there's a greaseball lawyer with a slick back hair. And I sit down with him and he goes "What are you an idiot?" And I'm like That's not nice. What do you mean? He goes, 'You live in Harborview. You know that the cop sits right outside of your home. How did you not slow down?'

35:54 So I said, well, in my head I'm like, because I'm very smart. That's actually part of my defense. I don't think I was going as fast as he says I was because I know there's a cop. And this greaseball lawyer slipped back here. He goes, what is this? Mode be mimtzas? If you admit a little bit. Then I'm like mode be. He didn't. He wasn't wearing a yarmulke. I was like mode. But Migo, that I could have told you that I wasn't speeding at all. Believe me when I tell you that I was only speeding a little. He's like, no, you can't say Migo in the circumstance. We might have started having like a Gemara conversation. I was like, what is your deal? He's like, I went to Yeshivat Akiva. I was like, of course you did. And because he was a kind lawyer, I ended up pleading down to driving with my door open. Which is ridiculous. It was Baruch Hashem, I got very lucky. I came home. My father said, you're a lucky kid because I was going to make you pay. But I say, fine.

36:46 The anxious moment is I'm not willing to acknowledge the truth of what is. I'm not willing to face reality and be able to say it's okay as it is. I don't need reality to be something other than it is. That's the real notion of bittle. It's not humility. It's more than that. Bittle is confronting reality in a way that. This is what's true, and I'm willing to stare at it. Like You have a friend who's living in a different reality than you are. That was a lot of you. You know what I'm talking about? She tells a story about what happened, and you're sitting there going, you don't say anything because you're polite, but in your head, you're going "That's not at all what happened." I hear this all the time. I speak to a husband. I speak to a wife. It's almost like we're talking to people who had two completely different experiences of reality. Why is it that we tell ourselves stories about reality that aren't true? Your boss calls you in.

37:58 Your boss calls you in, and your boss says you're doing a terrible job. And you come home and say, "My boss is abusive." No, your boss is right. You're doing a terrible job. Why is it that we can't allow ourselves to hear that criticism? We're not willing to acknowledge reality. There's a big avoda of being willing to allow reality to hit us like a truck. By the way, that's the really insidious part of phone addiction. Phone addiction means I never need to actually sit in reality. The moment that reality gets uncomfortable I just slide into that world of YouTube shorts. I'm just like that. That's why you should know that. That's why the kids are doing it. They're not doing it because they're bad. They're doing it because reality is so deeply uncomfortable that I found a way of just avoiding living within reality. I don't have to live within reality. By the way, we don't judge the kids because we all do it in our own way. Everybody's doing something to avoid reality. Some of us tell stories about reality that's different. Some of us eat our way out of reality, smoke our way out of reality, drink our way out of reality.

39:12 This is not the time to have this conversation. I'm just going to say it very quickly because I'm on a rampage about it now. Because I'm talking to so many people who are in pain about this. This kiddish thing that we're doing This is really bad. Because we're training children to watch adults drink themselves out of reality on a Shabbos morning. It's become a part of the culture for seventh graders now. Are getting high and getting drunk. This is not a normal thing. And we're giving them the ability to not confront reality, which means that they won't develop grit and resilience. Reality is supposed to be hard, and that's okay. We can do that. We can do hard things. But we all, in our own way, leave reality. We're not nailed to the truth of this moment. The truth of this moment is any nevresi ella l'shames as koni.

40:10 This life that I have, I was only given in order to serve Hashem. That's the only reason that I have this life. That is the truth. There is nothing other than that truth. Now I can act as if that's not true. Hashem gives me the capacity to take a dollar bill and spend it on something that has nothing to do with it. Or you can open up Cafe Demi and make a parnasa from it. But at night you can have shiurim that are going on here. That's an ani nevresi elul. I'm not just making the plug. I mean that sincerely. Ani nevresi elul shamish deskoni means I know that the thing that I have has to be used in a way to serve our Kadosh Baruch Hu. Otherwise, there's no reason for me to have it. I can't say his name, but I desperately want to say his name.

40:56 I really want to say his name, but I have no rishus to say his name. I met a person who Baruch Hashem has been given blessings in a very revealed way. And he's a person who's zeicha to be a big baltsdaka. And I was talking to him and I said to him How do I teach the boys in yeshiva? How do I teach them to be balaitzadaka? What do I say? It's one thing like I look like a tzadaka collector, so I understand. But these boys are not going to look like pashnis. Most of them will not do this thing. This is a reaction to growing up in the five towns. It's a true story. I once went to knock on the door of one of my talmidim who was sick. I thought, when I was living in America, I thought I was going to be an excellent rebbe, and he was sick, so I went to his house at night and I knocked on the door. That should be mavakher cholim. His mother peeked through the curtains and she said, "I'm sorry, we don't give door to door." I said, "Ouch!"

41:55 Your son's rebbe. I grew up in Lawrence. I think I'm better than you. So I said, how do I teach these guys to give tzedakah? So he didn't say all the things you would expect. He didn't say parents have to give tzedakah in front of the children. He didn't say any of that. It's not your money. And you're going to have to give a din v'cheshbin on every dollar that you spend. Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives you that dollar. Did that dollar used to serve Hashem? This is what he was saying, and I was like. And I'm in his office in the city, in this massive, beautiful, gorgeous office. And I'm sitting there going This guy is one of the most kadosh people I've ever met. He means it. He really gives it away. And he said, he's like, I'm trying to help some people right now get jobs so that I can get them off the payrolls of Esh Hashem. I'm going to be able to give more money to Yeshiva in the future. And I'm like, who are you? It's unbelievable. He really sees that every dollar that he has comes from the Rebbeimishle.

42:59 It's an unbelievable way of seeing the world. It's not his money. It's a stance of bittul. This moment, this dollar that was given to me Why do I have this dollar? This dollar could be used in a fragmented way, or it could be used to serve the Rebbeinu Shalom. This is the secret. Eliezer is Eved Avraham. To be Eved Avraham means that he was absolutely 100% nullified to the truth of the mission of Avram Avinu, and Eliezer knew at every single moment of that mission. I am here to do the bidding of Avram Avinu, which is to say, for us. We are Moshe, right? We are Eliezer. Even Avram is Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Eliezer is totally mevatel himself to the will of Avram Avinu. That's why it's so important to know that detail in the story that Eliezer had a daughter. Meaning the Yeshos, the fragmented reality that Eliezer lives within is I want my daughter to marry him.

44:04 That's all of us have. All of us have a my daughter that I want. It's not about what we want. There has to be a level of bittul where somebody else's desire comes before my own, and I know that today that's a very hard pill to swallow. It's a hard thing to say that somebody else's desire that's larger than mine could possibly be more important. But there has to be a return to an old concept of ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. There's a level of bittl that I'm part of something larger than myself. It's a very difficult thing to do in a generation that is exceptionally materialistic. I mean a generation that just sees the material and doesn't see the driving oneness that's behind all of the material. That I'm so material obsessed that when I look at a table and I look at a chair, all I see is a table and all I see is a chair, and I don't realize the purpose for which this chair was created.

45:09 I want to take a page out of Rav Weinberger's book for a moment. Rav Weinberger has been saying this for years, and I don't know why the world isn't paying attention because it's so obvious. Why don't the filters on the phone work? We tell these kids to filter their phone, and they do. They're good kids. They filter their phone. It doesn't work. It's never worked. It works sometimes. It doesn't work. Why doesn't it work? Had a Talmud once who told me. He said, Rebbe, there's no filter that could get in my way. I said, What does it mean? There's no filter that could get in your way. How could that be? There's no filter. Are you like the biggest tech genius in the world? He said, I go on to Iranian proxy sites to get around my filter. I'm like you're on the dark web through Iran. That is extreme.

45:57 He's like, there's no filter that could hold me back. Weinberg has been saying this for years because we can't start the conversation with the filter. The filter is the last part of the conversation. It's important. But it's the last 10% of the conversation. The first 90% of the conversation is what was this created for? How did Shabbat create this technology? We have to learn to see beyond it for its purpose. In a day and age when everyone was afraid of television, the Lubavitcher Rebbe was broadcasting Faberges. There's value to being able to see beneath the veneer of the material world and say, "What did Hakadosh Baruch Hu create this for?" And unless it's usur It's our responsibility to take that material thing and to nullify it. To say, 'What is your true nature?' I refuse to be obsessed with the external veneer of this thing. I want to know what it is in its essence.

46:54 That's bittul. Bittul means I know what you truly are, and I'm going to relate to you as you truly are. Eliezer, even Avram says, "I want my daughter to marry Avram Avinu's son" But Avram Avinu says, 'We can't. It's not a shidduch.' What does Eliezer say? It's not a shidduch. It's not a shudof. That's the reality now. There is no mitsias where my daughter could marry his son. It's not a shudof. You know how painful that must have been for him to hear. I'm arer and he's baruch. By the way, we all thought of that as children. To say to somebody who's his closest talman to say you're arer and I'm baruch and arer and baruch, it doesn't work. He was saying again whatever it means on our level. He was saying something that was deeply true in that moment. This shidduch cannot be. This shidduch cannot be.

47:52 This shidduch cannot be. Say that once I know this shidduch cannot be, that's the new reality. When Eliezer, Ever Avram went to go get a wife for Yitzchak, his whole being, with nothing being held back, was all in. I'm all in to do whatever needs to be done to make this happen. There's no part of me that's being held back. That's the godliness of Eliezer. That's the godliness of for us what it means to be a yid. Ayni nevresi elohim sheskoniy. I'm avatol myself 100%. What happens if you're avatol yourself? This is the punchline. Once I'm avatol myself, which side of the coin am I living on? I moved outside of the material world and into its inner nature. Now there's no more process. From my fragmented perspective, where I insist that reality is only the material world, so now things are going to take time to unfold. And sometimes we need to live within that reality in order to have a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But what does Hashem want from us? He wants us to nullify ourselves completely to Him.

48:55 That's what it means to be married. To be married means that I don't lose myself. I discover myself within being mevatel myself to the truth of this relationship. That's why it's such a thin slice between healthy relationships and codependency. Because in a codependent relationship, I lose myself from bittul, and in a healthy relationship, I find myself from bittul. Once I'm nevato myself to the truth of reality, now I'm living on the inside of reality. Once I'm living on the inside of reality, there is no more process. The fruit and the tree taste exactly the same. The world folds in on itself. There's no need for Eliezer to travel now to find a way for Yitzchak. The process is over. I'm living from the inside. Why does this take place in the context of marriage? Because that's what marriage is in its core. Marriage is two people that have the feeling of fragmentation.

49:46 But with a deep knowledge that we are and always have been one. That's why when you meet the person that's truly your person There's a feeling of and this is written about in all the psychology books. There's a feeling of I know you. I know you. I don't know how. I know you. I've always known you. You should. I know it's a funny thing to say, but it really is true. I met my wife when I was 15 years old and I knew. I knew, and it was a feeling of like I was a post-10th grade little shmendrik from the Five Towns, and I in camp. I walked over to her and I said I just like I'm not. I have no game. I was like I have no kids. Call it Riz. I know Riz. Wasn't aura farming back then? For those of you that don't know, these words are very cool today.

50:40 It's called brain. Suzanne is holding a brain. It's a funny thing. It's hard to know the way these kids speak what they actually mean. I don't mean to offend anybody. Where do you get the courage to go over to somebody? You get the courage because I know this girl. How do you know this girl? You don't know this girl, bachla. I knew. There's a feeling of oneness even within the state of fragmentation. Marriage is two people that feel completely distant from each other. That's why marriage is so painful. There's no pain like the pain of the person that I know is one with me being separate from me. There's no pain like that. There's no pain of me going to my corner and her going to her corner, and it's like The feeling of being stretched apart is so very profound. Because it's not supposed to be this way.

51:33 The parsha of marriage is the parsha of Eliezer totally giving himself to Avram Avinu, and the process goes exceptionally smoothly. Now you'll say, but the process didn't go smoothly for me, and it's not going smoothly for me, and the process of shidduchim is very painful because we live within the world of fragmented reality, and our avoda is to have complete emunah in this process, that whatever is going to be is already right now and it's already good, and I'm nullifying myself to the truth of this moment to acknowledge that there is oneness in this moment. And the only reason I experience it as a process is because I'm an outsider. But there's a moment at the end where finally Rivka meets Yitzchak and they meet in the most unbelievable way. How do they meet? Yitzchak is davening. And what does it mean to be mispahel? To be mispahel means that I am tafel, that I am totally nullified before the Rebbeinu Shlom.

52:32 In that state of bittel, what did Rivka do? She fell off her camel. What was the great sight that she beheld? What made her fall off the camel? Why is this like this unbelievable? Because she saw a tzaddik davening. To see a tzaddik davening is not a small thing. To be in the presence of a true tzaddik is not a small thing. I had an opportunity. I had a yichidus with Ravitcha Meir last week before I left. On Thursday, I was zaychut to be by Ravitcha Meir, and I was shaking. You should know, for hours, I was not a human being. The man is not in this. He's not in this world. He's really not in this world. I saw a man who exists in a material body, and he has nothing to do with this world. I was mindlessly shaking for hours. What? What was that?

53:18 And I've seen tzaddikim in my life. I saw the Lubavitcher Rebbe when I was a child. I had the opportunity to see even the great Litvish tzaddikim. Also, there's a sense when you are with Rav Chaim Kanievsky, so normal and so beyond normal. Or Rav Yeshayahu was so normal and so beyond normal. To be in the presence of a tzaddik, there is something great. But to fall down, to fall off your camel, what did she see in that moment? The reason she fell off her camel is because when a person is riding above There's a sense of like I'm distinct. There's a process. The moment she saw Yitzchak in that state of total betul to the Rebbeinu Shalom, there was no more reality where she could be traveling in the world. There's no more process. There's no more travel. Everything is already unfolded on itself, and that's why Yitzchak is the bechina of Oz Yemalei Shok Penu. It's the bechina of Mashiach. It's the bechina of Olam Haba.

54:08 It's the laughter that we'll see in the future that's already embedded in the present. This tarot is the tarot of Mashiach. Just to wrap up, this tarot is the tarot of Mashiach Because our generation is being asked to hold on to an unrealized future and act as if that future is already here. Now it happens to be that our grandparents already did a lot of the work. Our grandparents already did a lot of the work after the Holocaust, when Klal Yisroel was decimated. Only a Jew could say, "I'm going to rebuild like never before." It was. I was just in. I was just in Muncie. Three nights. I don't know. Two nights ago, I was in Muncie on this trip. And I went to Evergreen. Have you seen this? It's a mall. I grew up in the Five Towns, where Super Soul, Olive Shalom was like a big.

55:11 Evergreen is like a. You can hit your 10,000 steps shopping in every. It's the craziest thing. The schools today are palaces. Our yeshivas are amazing. I saw a guy from Lakewood who was telling me that every day in Lakewood 25 Jewish boys and 25 Jewish girls are born every single day in Lakewood. That means a class is born every single day. That means a grade is born every single week. That means almost 50 grades are born each year. And the challenge is that they have the money, they just can't get the buildings built fast enough. How did we go from losing six million people to building this? And not just in America, in Eretz Yisrael also. I remember when I was a kid growing up. For the older people in the room, they'll know this. It used to be that Israel really was a third world country.

56:12 My kids growing up, they don't really have it so much anymore. We had milk in a bag. When we made aliya, milk came in a bag. Do you know how annoying it is to have milk in a bag? It's the most annoying thing in the world. I remember when we moved to Israel, just put it in a carton. Like even just make it up, put the child on the back. That's like missing child stool, the regular. Now we have milk in a carton. It's an unbelievable thing. We saw in the last twenty years, Eretz Yisrael exploded. All the excuses—forgive me, this is a pet peeve also—all the excuses why you can't make Aliyah for Parnasah are out the window. There's more Parnasah in Eretz Yisrael today than there is in America. My brothers are again—it's high tech. My brothers are both in high tech; they're doing more than fine for themselves. And for those that think, 'Yeah, but seventy shekel a month—that's what I pay for my kid's tuition. Seventy shekel a month.'

57:02 You want to pay thirty-five thousand dollars? I understand. Some people want a premium product. Seventy shekel a month. Even if you don't want to come for kedusha reasons, come because it's just seventy shekel a month. We'll open up a cafe demi and a mapachamish. Aroma can have their chevrat and cafe demi can have their chevrat. It'll be a beautiful day. Our grandparents began the process of teaching us how to build a future that doesn't yet exist. And now. It's our turn to do the same thing. Big shifts Big shifts are happening in the world. Anybody who's reading the tea leaves Big shifts are happening in the world. I don't mean like people are, is it 1930s Germany? I didn't live in the 1930s Germany. I'm not Chassidish. I'm not predicting anything negative. As a real dangerous man sitting in the mayor's seat in New York, it's a hundred percent true that anti-Semitism is becoming more comfortable in the world.

58:03 When I went to England a couple of years ago, I don't want to go back to England. That place is scary. I have friends who are from France. Tell me, it's not. In our place, it's fine. It's fine until it's not fine. It's fine until it's not fine. I'm not predicting anything negative. But if you're paying attention to the world right now, the world we are watching. Revol be rices and Alei Shor. A yid has to learn history. A yid has to learn history because you have to be capable of seeing Yad Hashem in history. If you're not learning history, you're not seeing Yad Hashem. Can you imagine if Trump had won the election for a second term and he wasn't in office now? What would have happened if Kamala Harris was sitting in the White House during the Iranian time? Yirah Hashem is an unbelievable thing. Leiv Malachim Yirah Hashem. Don't think for one second that Trump has any bechira. When the Navi comes to write the Megillah of what it was like in the final moments before Mashiach, it'll mamish be a story like Achashverosh.

58:59 That there was a thing in the election and he didn't win, but he insisted that he did win. So he ran again. Now he could be going to run for a third term. He likes to speak it into reality. It's like the ultimate manifestation. A third term, yeah, maybe. Takase, we'll see. It's an unbelievable thing. We have to be paying attention to the tea leaves. We have to build the reality that doesn't yet exist. We have to know that the unfolded reality is already present within this moment. That's a very big avoda for us. The avoda of knowing that while I exist within the world of process, the process is already over. Mashiach has already come. That's why the big tzaddikim in 20, 30 years ago couldn't understand how it could be that Mashiach hadn't yet come. How could Mashiach not come? This is the Lubavitcher Rebbe said, like we're just polishing the buttons now. Like he couldn't even fathom what the avoda was, and so he famously got up and said, 'There's nothing left for me to do. It's on you now.' There's nothing. He wasn't saying like I'm Mashiach. He said there's nothing left for me to do. The avoda has to be given over to every single Jew now to bring the reality, to live within a Mashiach-oriented reality, in order to bring Mashiach. Thank you so much for hosting. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you so much for organizing this. Esh Hashem, we should be zayifah to share taira for many years to come. Amen.