Chayei Sarah - The Journey From Cursed to Blessed

2:12 You understand the problem? But if you take a look, and this is like a well-known Rashi, if you take a look between these two psukim, there is one major difference here. And it's a major difference that appears not to be a major difference at all. And Rashi points it out. If you look at the second pasak, it says, Va'ommer al-Adoni ulay, how is ulay spelled here? Alif lamed yud. If you go back to the first time that we hear the story, look how it's spelled over there. Alif vav lamed yud. So the second time around it's missing a vav. What's the significance of the fact that there's an inconsistency in the way that it's written in the Torah? So Rashi says, eilayk siv. Even though the word is ulay, maybe she won't want to come back with me. The fact that it wrote it without a vav could also Vashchei Salol Eliezer Eliezer had a daughter. That's a big deal if you're Eliezer. You have a daughter. You know, that's Hashem you have daughters. And you're gonna be on the prowl for good boys. Nobody wants their daughter to marry not a good boy. Eliezer is a good boy.

3:37 Eliezer zavrav ram yisiz yitzchuk yisizh yitzchuk is a tzadik And what does he want? I want him for my daughter. I'm not gonna lie to you. I've had that thought in shul before. You look around, you see a boy, he's a good boy, you go, hmm, I'm keeping my eye on him. There's a boy this year, he's becoming bar mitzvah. And in February, I'm Keep in my eye on that boy. I've got a 12 year old daughter. Could be. He's a good boy. Yeah, he's a dad thing, right? Eliezer also, he had a daughter and he was interested. What does Rashi tell us? Vayim achazah lintu y lashi yomololavram luthnoseilav lahasibito. Amorolavram binnibaruch v'atah arv'ayin arv'adabibibaruch. So what happened? Eliezer had a daughter and he was really looking for some sort of pretext. What happens if the girl doesn't want to come back with me?

4:40 What was the subtle hint that he was giving over here? She doesn't want to come back with me. Should I bring your son there? Nobody wants their son to move far away. If you don't want your son to move far away, maybe consider my daughter. So what does Avram Avinu say to him? He says, My son is Baruch, my son is literally blessed. V'at to Arur, and you are cursed. And Arur and Baruch cannot be in a relationship with each other. Strange, no? So rude. So rude. I'm sure you didn't mean it right there. So we're going to talk about all this because that's the topic of today's show. Todayshah The topic of Todayshah is what does it mean baruch? What does it mean ara? What does it mean that baruch and ara can't be in a relationship with each other? So That's we're gonna get to those questions in a second. But before we get to that, okay, good So now you're you're you're Eliezer and you just had this conversation with Avram Avino that You're your ara my son is baruch. So we can't be in a shaloch now go find my Go find my son a wife

5:52 At that point, if you're Eliezer, what do you do? You probably don't do a very good job. I would imagine that if you do it at all, you do it half-heartedly, right? Especially because, listen, if it doesn't work out, maybe you still have a shot, even though you said your son is Baruch and my son is Arver. And in fact, it's exactly the opposite. He does an amazing job. Look what Eliezer does. He gets to the well, he starts to daveni, kar nel efnei yom baaseh chassidim Adoniyavram. Tov Shabbos Baruch Hu please make it happen for me today. Do a kindness for my master avram avinu. So the first thing we see is Eliezer's Mamish Davening his heart out, that his mission should be matzliach. Yeah? And if I were Eliezer, I would be davening. Mordecai Berg is not nearly on the level of Eliezer Avadavram.

6:40 I would have been davening like, alright Hashem, I have to daven Avram Avinu said I have to daven. But you know, if it doesn't work out, there's always my daughter. We don't see any pretext of that. I wanted to work out and when do I want it to work out? Today! And do a kindness for my master, Avram Avinu. Make it happen, help him find a wife. And then what happens? He meets Rivka, he runs, he gives her the gifts, right? He won't eat until he said what he came to say and he's not even going to stay an extra night. Eliezer is like, I am here to get this mission done and mission accomplished. He ends up bringing home Rifka Yimenu to marry Yitzchak. This is a very, very, very difficult thing to understand. I understand that Eliezer is the Evedav Ram. But if you have a daughter to do it on that level, very difficult to understand how Eliezer reached that level.

7:32 So, so far let's review the questions that we have. Number one, what does it mean that Yitzchak is baruch and Eliezer is auror? Yeah, number two, even if it does mean something Doesn't sound like Avram Avinu to say it, no? Like Avram Avinu is the ultimate in Chesed. We wouldn't say that to anybody You wouldn't even say even if you get really angry at a girl who can't give out the Marmicommos, right? And you get very frustrated. Even you wouldn't say You are our and I am Baruch Nobody would ever say such a thing right even in your most calm moments of frustration you would never say something like that Bella wouldn't say something like that could never imagine as in the dorms Chanal girl comes to Bella and she goes your are I'm baruch it's not a good time and don't don't talk to me none of us could imagine such a thing the most fire and brimstone Musa Rebbe in the world

8:28 Avromovino was bigger than all of us. How could Avromovino have said it to Eliezer? Even if it's true. Say it nicely. Say, I don't think it's matim. I think they're looking for different things. Come up with a shachanamu'i all the time. No? He didn't feel it was a good fit. What does that mean? I can't say anything. Am Baruch your error. It's nasty. Like you said, I'm sure you said it in a sweet way. It sounds rude. Avromovino would never speak in a rude way, right? So we have three questions so far. And then there's another one. This is a good one. How does the story end? It's a wild story. How does the story end? Eliezer shows up at the house of Lava Nbezuel and lists him what they say to him. Vayyomer and they say to Eliezer, Bo Baruch Hashem. Come in, blessed of Hashem.

9:25 Shabbos Shabbos Shabbos Shabbos Cott, and this is pretty wild, love n Tvot, that when Eliezer showed up at the door he said, Beubach Hashem, come in blessed of Hashem. You know why? Because he thought he was Avram Avino. Why did he think he was Avram Avino? Shaayach class der pan Av I understand, you know, like sometimes you meet someone and they look exactly like their mother. You know what I'm talking about? Like you mean you're like, like they say in high schools, the Rebbeim always tell me, you don't understand the kid until parent-teacher conferences. You know, then the parents come in and then you see, oh, that's why the kid is like that. They look like the parents. They talk like the parents, right? And it's like, we might all want to deny the fact that we come from our parents, but the reality is we all come from My mother showed up to parent-teacher conferences and this Rebbe gave my mother the worst report about me.

10:53 And he never bothered to ask my mother her name. He said, you don't even have to tell me who you are, you're the spitting image of your son. He got the wrong guy. He gave the report for a totally different person because he never bothered to ask my mother her name. And by the way, it happens to me, it's a funny thing, the guy who he gave the report about, it happens to me he kind of did look like me. Eliezer Evadavram looked like Avramavino. Sometimes dogs start to look like their masters. What does that mean Eliezer? Wasn't related to Avramavino? How did he look like Avramavino? Madna, no? Could be. It would be a good way to say it, but it says classed their pun off, the countenance of his face. Meaning physically. Look like him. And then there's another opinion. Amr Avyosi Ben-Dosa, Ben-Bebidosa, Kinan Hu Eliezer. Now this is bigger, Eddie. Where did Eliezer come from?

11:53 Eliezer came from Kinan, yeah? Now who was Kinan? Kinan was the fourth son of Chom. Who was Chom? We'll soon see. Chom was one of the sons of? No, very good. Yeah? We're gonna see what that relationship was about in a minute. But what's interesting is, Chamm has a son whose name is Canaan and Eliezer is from Canaan and Canaan is cursed. That's what we're soon gonna see, yeah? So listen what it says. V'al yedayi sh'shar es oso tzadik be emunah And the fact that Eliezer, Ebe d'avram, served Avram Avinu with emunah What does emunah here mean? With faithfulness? Yotzam Miklal Arach Lachlal Baruch Now he goes through a change. He started off as Aror. And now all of a sudden when he shows up at the house of Laavan, one of two reasons that it says Ba'u Baruch Hashem. Either he looked like Avram Avino and Avram was Baruch, or he actually became Baruch.

12:59 And how does Laavan become Baruch? He becomes Baruch by being the faithful servant of Avram Avino. And one second, let's just take a second to make sure we understand what's going on over here. You know, I remember there was a comedian. It doesn't matter what his name is, but his name was Norm McDonald. Norm McDonald was a famous comedian who was on Saturday Night Live. And he got fired from Saturday Night Live because he made too many OJ Simpson jokes. And so they fired him. And they told him when they met with him to fire him, they said, you're just not funny. So that's what they fired him. It's hard if you're not funny and not funny. A year later they brought him back on Saturday Night Live to be the host of Saturday Night Live. And he got up, I don't know if you're holding in the show Saturday Night Live, have you ever heard of it?

13:50 It's not such a famous show anymore, I don't think. The Saturday Night Live is still on. He was the host of Saturday Night Live, means he did the monologue. And he got up and he goes, a year ago I got fired from this show for not being funny. And now a year later I'm so funny that I host the show. I didn't change in a year. And it was like, because it was basically saying let's be honest, why did I really get fired? I really got fired for telling too many OJ Simpson jokes because the head of NBC was friends with OJ Simpson. So that's why he got really fired. The point is, he didn't change, he didn't become funny in a year. I have a question. Let's think about the story. Avram Avino

15:03 How did he switch so fast? Eliezer Evet Avram had been the faithful servant of Avram Avinu for a very long time, no? He was already there by the Aqedah. So now, now, clearly he had been a part of Avram Avinu's life for a long time, and that somehow doesn't change him. But now all of a sudden he switched? We have to understand what switched. Obviously this shlich is very good. You're getting it right? You want to say it? Well because, yes, yes. Well now he was on his own so he was able to put himself second maybe also that he went back to where he came from. Maybe? What do you mean he went back to where he comes from? Eleazar came from Canaan. He's actually leaving. No, no, he went he left Canaan. To go where was Avroz? To Avroz workplace, to Chara, to Urqastham.

15:59 But you're right, obviously it's something specific about this particular shlichos that made him somehow change. So you're on the right track. Okay, so it goes like this. Let's go back. Ready for Zangdeep? Yeah? And it just came off of a heavy share with Avuanglin, came in with what you learned about God. Yeah? If you can still hold cup after Avuanglin, let's see if we can go deep here. Let's go back to the story. Noah has three sons, right? Shem, Chamm, and Yafas. Yeah? Now we kind of know the story. The story is that after the flood, they come out of the Tevah, right? Noah plants a vineyard, he gets drunk. Yeah? Now, what happens next? So Chamm does something inappropriate to Noah, right? And the Gemara and Sanhedrin, Samach locus, what happened, what Chamm did, but one of the shetahs is that he damaged, I'm speaking in Beloosh Anaki, he damaged Noah and he hurt him very badly, he physically hurt him, and he took away his ability to have children.

17:08 That's what he did to him. That's what the Gemara says, Yeshomrim Sarso, he made him into a sryss, he took away his capacity to have children. And that's actually, that's what Rashi brings. Rashi brings that the posseq says, Vayomer, what happens after Chom? Hurts, noach? Yeah? Oruh Kenan, Kenan will be cursed, Eved avadim yulachav. He's going to be the servants of the servants to your brothers. Meaning, Kenan is going to be the servant to the servants of Shaman Yaphas. Yeah? So Rashi explains why is Canan punished? After all who is the one that hurt Noah? Chamm and who's Chamm? Chamm's son is Canan right? So imagine, stay with me, imagine you did something wrong and your daughter gets punished is that fair? Not fair right? So let's look at what Rashi says Ata garam taleeshilah ole benrevi achilasham shami. Why did Noah want to have a fourth child?

18:13 So, noach wanted to have a fourth son who would be young enough to take care of noach when he got old. That's why I told my wife when I was learning this Rashi today, I said, Baruch Hashem, we have a six-month-old daughter. Now we have somebody to take care of us when we're old. That's the whole utility of this child. I hope many years from now she listens to this shiur and has trauma. But right now she doesn't. And then, that's Hashem, some therapist will get it from it. But the... Hashem some therapist will get it from it. But the... I have to keep you girls engaged. Yeah the... But that's when all wanted. He wanted to have a fourth child. And then... Now Chaim came and took away his will to have a fourth child. So he says good. Now your fourth child is going to be cursed.

18:59 You took away my ability to have a fourth child? Now your fourth child is going to be cursed. Arben charevilios mishamishizam shalilu agadolim shehutolaim Torah chavodasi meyateh Who's now going to be in charge of taking care of Noah when he gets old? Sheiminyafes So he goes, good. Since Sheiminyafes are going to be serving me, your fourth son, Canaan, is going to end up being the servants to the servants of Sheiminyafes. Midah kenegin midah. Now you'll still say it's not fair, because after all, Canaan didn't do anything wrong, L'Hughinashir Hashem Canan Chom is out. I don't get it. Nach didn't want Chom having anything to do with him now. He just did a terrible thing and he damaged him. He doesn't want him or any of his kids taking care of him. So now it's going to fall to Shem and Yofas. The truth is, the truth is that Canan himself is not so innocent. I don't think I brought it down here.

20:11 I think I forgot to bring it down. I'm sorry. Canan is not so innocent because you know who it was who told Noach, who told Chom to begin with that Noach was drunk? It was Canan. Canahan Told Ham Noah Chachdrunk Ham came in, Ham hurt Noah and now this whole thing goes. Now one second, let's slow it down for a second, let's get through this because we don't have so much time left. So it's the bottom line. So now we know why Canahan is cursed. We know why Canahan is cursed. We know why specifically slavery is a punishment. But one thing we don't know here, why is he...it's an interesting washroom. Loshan He's Eved la'avadim He's not just a slave, what is he? He's a slave of slaves. That's a big, that's saying even more than just He's an Eved, right? And not only that, but Rashi says to us, Rashi tells us way way back in parashos nawach, Vayom ar barach Hashemu lokei Shem V'hi kannan Eved lamo That blessed be the Lord God of shame and may cannot be a slave to them. And Rashi She explains what does that mean? Yeah, We Wo City in Khenan Sh She alsoifies hope of G of Hanim Yes that is not in KoDo Abraham You know, what's gonna happen to the land of Khenan, it's gonna end up going to the children of shame, who's the children of shame girls?

21:41 Us Us, which is exactly what happened, Erratz Khenan, the land of Khenan ends up going to the children of shame And what is Avram Vino? What is shame? Shame is Baruch. So this same concept that we just spoke about, yeah, of Arur and Baruch, where did it really start from? It really started from Noah. Shame is Baruch, Canaan is Arur. Shame is blessed, Canaan is cursed. The land goes from who? From Canaan who's cursed to who? Tov Ram Avinu Hu's Blessed, do you understand? And Eliezer, why can't Eliezer marry, why can't Eliezer's daughter marry Yitzchak? Eliezer, you're from who? You're from Chamm, you're from Canaan, which means you are cursed. And Yitzchak is from shame, he's blessed. Can't make a shoduch. And obviously we're not satisfied because still what does that mean? Why not? And if it's true that Eliezer is from Canaan and he's cursed, then what's the next question you're going to answer?

22:43 So then how does he all of a sudden become blessed? You understand? It is Maimonoshah. Either he's from Canaan and he's cursed for eternity or...right? Which is what I would have assumed. He's not a servant to a servant. Maybe he's just a servant. Who's not a servant to a servant? He's a servant to Abramus. So again, we have to understand what does it mean to a servant to a servant. So you're right, it's a good question. Let's say one thing here, yeah? Simple thing. Girls, we make brachas all the time. What is a brach? And we translate, we say brachas a blessing, right? But a little bit, a bracha sounds like a little bit like a magical incantation though. You make a magical incantation on a bracha, you know that? It's not true, it's not a magical incantation. Look at this Gemara, there's an amazing Gemara here.

23:38 Aser lola Adam shiyah hanemeinuolamazah belo bracha. You know it's Aser to get Hanah from this world unless you make a bracha. Hanah, pleasure, enjoyment. It's Aser to get Hanah from this world until you make a bracha. L'chola n'ememinuolamazah Belo Bracha. If you get pleasure in this world without making a bracha, wait, stop, don't look inside. What did you girls grow up hearing? If you eat a food without Me'kneb Racha you are? Stealing. What's the Hebrew word for stealing? Yneva gze'le right? What does the Gemara say? We grew up hearing it wrong. It says, V'chala n'enemin olamazebolu bracha m'al. What does m'al mean? M'al is me'ila. Me'ilah means that only the Cohen is allowed to eat Kudshim. Only the Cohen is allowed to eat the special things that are designated for a Cohen. And if you take something that's designated for kedushah and you misappropriate it, that's called me'ilah. So the Gemara says, if you eat, you'll never forget this, if you eat without a bracha, it's not stealing.

24:49 You're Violating the Principle of M'ilah And then the Gemara says at Ma'itakante, so how should you fix it? If you ever made a bracha, and you didn't, if you ever had food and you didn't make a bracha, what you should do? Yaelach Heitzach hachim, you should go to a wise man. And then the Gemara goes, Yaelach Heitzach hachim, mayavidle, how does that help you? You should go to a wise man, you go to a tamach hachim, you go to a tzadik, and somehow that fixes it. So the Gemara says, Havela Yisurah, he already did the Yisr. He already ate the food without making a bracha. El Amorava, rather, rather explains, Yaelach etchacham eikara. Really, you know what you're supposed to do when you're young? From the outset, go to a chacham, spend your life by tamil echacham and spend your life by tzedikim. V'elam denu brachos And they'll teach you brachos.

25:41 Kadesholoh Yavolidei M'ilah So that you won't come to be over on M'ilah. Now this is very strange. Girls, who taught us how to make brachos? Our parents taught us, how young were you when you learned how to make brachos? Two. Very young. I need to go to learn by the biggest, I need to go to the Gedoliyi Hadar to learn how to make a bracha. That's weird, no? If I would have spent my early years by the biggest tummy that Chagamim, then I would have what? Never missed a bracha? Why? I know how to make brachas. Why do I miss a bracha from time to time if I miss a bracha? No, no, I wasn't paying attention. I just shoved it in my mouth. So what's going on over here? It's a strange Gemara. And also it's a weird way the Gemara says it, right? The Gemara says, what's the fix?

26:27 If you messed it up, go to a Chagam. And then the Gemara says, go to a Chagam. You already did it. And then the Gemara says, oh no, no, it means go to a Chagam when you're younger. But like originally what did the Gemara say? The fix is what? Just being by a kha'chom will somehow fix it. And the Gemara says that doesn't really make any sense but there was at least a moment in the Gemara where the Gemara thought that going to a kha'chom would fix it. So I'm going to teach you an unbelievable Torah here. What does the word bracha mean? There are beenu b'chayah in Dvarim chapter 8 verse 10 says, Bracha chanov... umuloshon... bracha isvahuloshon brecha. Chanovas min amakar. You know what that means? What's a brecha? A pool? Or what? Or like a wellspring? Yeah? It's... when you make a bracha, you're connected to the source. That's what a bracha is. When you make a bracha, you're connecting to the source. Now one second, let's understand this Gemara. Listen to this unbelievable tire from the Labab Jerebi.

27:29 Life-Changing Tyreh If I make a bracha on food, the food belongs to Hashem, right? So if I make a bracha what? Now I move it into my territory? It's still Hashem's food. You know what the Rev. says? The Rev. says when you make a bracha on food, it's not that you've moved the food into your territory, it's that you've moved yourself into Hashem's territory. You're now connected to Hashem. Girls, what's the halacha? The evet of a ko'en is allowed to eat kudshim. The servant of the Ko'in, because he's bottled to the Ko'in, he's allowed to eat kachim. It says that Rebbe, if you make a bracha, you know what you are? You're an Eved Hashem. If you're an Eved Hashem, you're allowed to eat. HaKavash Baruch Hu's food. A bracha doesn't impact the food. A bracha impacts us. A bracha connects us to our source, brecha. That's what a bracha does.

28:22 So if you make a bracha, this is how we're supposed to make a bracha. You're supposed to sit you supposed to make a shahakkul and you're supposed to say the food belongs to Hashem and now so do I That's a game-changing way to make a bracha. So I remember many years ago in Yeshiva There was a big tzadik who was a Rebbe in our Yeshiva. His name is our Shmuel Zukar Shmuel Zukar is a big Rav in Yisrael Eim today. He was in Yeshiva once when he was a Rebbe I asked so he was walking he was walking in the hadar Elchhel and one of the boys made a bracha But he made like a fast bracha, you know, he didn't like he didn't like say like carefully V'zukor was walking by him and he goes like this. And everyone laughed, right? Because V'zukor was like telling him, make a brachah slowly. Make a brachah with intention. A brachah with intention changes a person. It means I'm an Evadashhem. That's the nature of a brachah. So now we know what a brachah is. What's our? If you're a baruch, it means you're connected to the sword.

29:23 What does Arur mean? You're disconnected from the source. If you're Baruch, you're connected to the source. If you're Arur, you're disconnected from the source. Does that make sense? Now already it doesn't sound so bad. Your Arur mean you're cursed. It means you are currently living in a state of disconnection. Now let's think about this for a second. What did Gemara say? If you make a mistake and you eat food, Without Making Abracha. What's the halacha? What were you over on? Not gonna give up, remember? Me'ilah, right? Now what the Gemara say, the rectification, what's the tikon for that? Go to a khaqam. And the Gemara says, go to a khaqam. What's the difference? You already did the issir. And the Gemara says, go to a khaqam when you're young. You know what it means? If you're a davik to a tambur khaqam, yeah, what is that doing? When you're davik to a tambur khaqam, when you go to visit a tambur khaqam, and you go to like really attach yourself to a tambur khaqam, The Gomarim Suva is a very good question. The Gomarim asks a question. We know the path

30:54 Tov teshuva atemat veitkem bashammel keichem chayim kochanayom. Everyone of us is supposed to be doveik. What does doveik mean? To cleave, like glue. We're supposed to cleave to Hashem. So the Gemara says, what does that mean to cleave to Hashem? Chiyyashir lidbuk beshrinah. How could you actually be doveik to the shrinah? How could you be doveik to Hashem? Hashem is not physical. How could I be doveik to Hashem? So you know what the Gemara says? The Gemara explains that if speaking about a person who marries off his daughter to a tomahacham. or a person who conducts business on behalf of Tamideh Chachamim. Yeah? Or a person who utilizes his wealth to benefit Tamideh Chachamim. If you do those things, you know what it's like? The Gemara says it's like you're connected to the Shechina itself. In other words, by serving a Tamuchacham, by helping a Tamuchacham, by marrying your daughter to a Tamuchacham, by being davik to a Tamuchacham, it's like you're being davik to God.

31:52 Not like Avodas Arah, it's... Atam HaChom is not just someone who knows a lot of Torah. In the world of the Gemara, Atam HaChom is somebody who embodies Torah. And you're attaching yourself to that. That's a way of connecting yourself, not Avodas Arah. It's bringing out something in you, it's bringing out your source. Now you're probably already copying... One second, let me just finish... You're probably already copying what's going on over here. To Be Davech to a Chacham Connects You to your Soharos. So what does the Gemara say? The Gemara says, If you were Ovidah Vayra and you weren't Baruch, you ate without making a Baruch, what should you do? Go attach yourself to a Chacham. The Gemara says, It's too late. You already ate the food. So what does the Gemara say? Go to a Tambur Chacham when you're younger. Why? He'll teach you Brachos. Doesn't mean he'll teach you Brachos. He'll teach you, The people who live with God Consciousness. That's Talmid Echamim.

33:17 Now what's the opposite of this? The opposite of this is Arru, right? The opposite of this is Kanan. The opposite of this is disconnection. Well let's think about it. What was the big act that made Cham Kanan disconnected? What did he do to Noah? He damaged his ability to create. Or to put it a little bit differently, he damaged his ability to connect and create life. So what was the punishment of Canan? You pointed out that Noah was drunk and you ran to your father and then your father damaged Noah so that he shouldn't be able to connect anymore to his wife and have children. You took away Noah's power of baruch. You took away Noah's power of connection. You know what that says about you? You are a person of disconnection. And by the way, people of disconnection, and this is so important, people of disconnection always see other people's mistakes.

34:17 When Noach got drunk, it was a mistake. It was a bad mistake even, right? You know, there's a difference between people who are looking for other people's mistakes. You ever meet people like that? That they're like, they have such disconnection inside of themselves that they see disconnection wherever they go? Some people are so borrowed, they're so deeply connected within themselves, that they look at somebody else and they say, how can I help this person be connected? So Shaim and Yafes, they cover their father's nakedness. Right? But Chaim, there was an Indian of error there, there was an Indian of disconnection. He saw it and he damaged his father because of that. If you're a disconnected person, you see disconnection wherever you go. And here's what happens. If you're a disconnected person, you lose your identity. And if you lose your identity, you lose agency. You lose your ability to make choices in this world. You lose your ability to act.

35:13 So you know what Kenan is? Kenan is from Elishan of, as the Bechar Shar says, Nechna L'Kulan. What does Nechna mean? He's subservient to everybody. You lose your identity. If you're a Baruch, you know who you are? If somebody says to you, if you're connected to Hashem, somebody says, who are you? You know what you're saying? Spark of God in this world embodied in order to fulfill Hashem's mission. I have a very clear identity. And you know what that gives me? The ability to make choices. I know what choice I need to make right now. You live with a certain, not arrogance, but a confidence in your agency over this world. But if you're a person who lives in a state of disconnection, you know what you love? Giving up your identity. I'll just be somebody else's slave. Like, just tell me what to do.

36:05 You know, people like that who just go like, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. I don't want to own my choices because you have no sense of identity. You live in a state of disconnection. You see this a lot, that girls will come to their teachers, they're abaim and they go, so what do you think I should do? You think I'm going to tell you what to do? I'm not taking responsibility for your life and by the way, why do you even want me to? My wife said this to me the other, when I was telling her this year, she said to me, that's why we make a brachah shalom asani aved. We say it in the next, thank God you didn't make me an avid, you know why? Because lots of people slip into it. Lots of people slip into slavery. Canon was such a person of disconnection, he wasn't even an avid to an adon, you know what he was? Inevid to Inevid He lost His Identity so extreme that He didn't have His own identity. He didn't have an identity. He's like even a slave is my master. He's Evid l'Avadim.

36:52 Shame is Baruch. He's Evid l'Avadim. And by the way, and if you look at the, I brought it down over here, the Heimik Dovar, right? Heimik Dovar says as follows, I don't understand. You find that some of Sheim and Yefes's children also became slaves and not all of Canaan's descendants are slaves. So the Aym M'Davir says, what does it mean? You know what he says? Take a look, I think I put in the Marmakonos over here. It's a beautiful Aym M'Davir. All Aym M'Davirs are beautiful. This one's particularly beautiful. You take a look, he says, Ein zarom sughalizah the gombeyoso evedruch apneym yishavliyos chavshi umeyla ein nachlei shtamishbo La'yidei Hishtables Nase Chavshi You know what happens? If you enslave the Children of Shaman Yaphas, it's not comfortable for them to be a slave. And because it's not comfortable for them to be a slave, you know what the entire time they're doing?

37:44 I wish I wasn't a slave. I wish I wasn't a slave. I wish I wasn't a slave. They make bad slaves. This is why they make bad slaves. They don't like to be slaves. They make bad slaves. And that's why eventually they figure out how to go free. But when you enslave a child of Canaan, you know what happens? Oh, thank God I'm a slave. It's like this is great. I don't have to take responsibility for my decisions anymore. You just tell me what to do. It's kavaldic. It's such a thing as a person. I think many of us know what this means. You gave up agency. No identity in our lives. It's like a Canaan type of way of existence. So now we understand a very deep thing that's going on over here. Eliezer is a descendant of Canaan. So what does that make him?

38:30 He's a person of disconnection, right? But interesting, who did he become the slave of? What does that already tell you? What's Eliezer trying to do here? He's trying to become connected again. And why would he become connected to Avram Avinu in order to become Baruch? That's what the Gemara N'Keshuva says, right? Become Davik to the Chacham and then you'll be Davik to the Shechina. Eliezer's life is an attempt to leave the world of horror and to enter into the world of Baruch. Now remember, what did the Gemara N'Keshuva say? What was one of the ways that you could be Davik to the Talmud Chacham? Nary off your daughter to a Talmud Chacham and then you will be Baruch. Isn't that what the Gemara says? So now Eliezer comes to Avram Avinu, he's the faithful servant of Avram Avinu his entire life. He goes with him to Akhedes Yitzchak, yeah?

39:23 He travels back to Beir Sheva after Akhedes Yitzchak. And Eliezer must have been a trustworthy...Evett because what's Avram Avinu entrusting with? The future of Klal Yisrael, you're gonna go find Rifke Emeinu. So he goes, but maybe my daughter. What's he hoping for in this moment? Maybe Ambaruch now? Avram Avinu was not being rude. What was Avram Avinu doing? He was telling him, you have not yet achieved the state to become Baruch. Something is missing here. You're still on some level outsourcing your identity. Something is missing. But I'm going to give you the chance in this moment to become Baruch. If you will rise above your own self-interest and serve me with emunah then you will actually become my Eved in the sense that you will be baruch. Just like the Eved of the Cauen is able to eat kachim, the Eved of Avramovino will actually become like Avramovino if what?

40:28 If you serve me with emunah, what does emunah mean? Faithfulness. What's the faithfulness? Overcome your own self-interest. So Eliezer goes, okay, I know what I need to do. He travels to the land of Rivka Yimenu. And what does he do when he gets there? He davins with his whole heart. Give me the opportunity to do the shlikhs of Avrom Avinu. And he's fired up about it. I'm leaving tonight. We're making it happen right now. Now he shows up at the house of Ravon and he knocks on the door. And Ravon opens up the door. Who does he see? The Klastir Panavav, the countenance, the same face as who? Avramavino. How'd that happen? How did Eliezer, who didn't look like Avramavino, he wasn't related to Avramavino except from many many generations ago when Chamm and Shem were brothers. He wasn't related to him. How do you look like him? You know what the answer is?

41:24 Spend enough time by someone trying to be like them, trying to be connected to them and then you reach that level that you could overcome your own self-interest I know you, you're Avram Avinu. Ba'u Baruch Hashem. And now what does the Magish tell us? Eliezer, who was the descendant of Kenan, the one who is all about disconnection, the one who sees negativity in the world, the one who like who unfortunately is willing to forego his identity and give up his agency in his life, he's now reached the level where he's Baruch. And this

42:27 This is an unbelievable mussar for us. The mussar is like this. In our lives there's such a thing called losing ourselves. I was talking with somebody recently, somebody who I respect very much, about their challenges in Yiddishkeit. And they said to me, I'm afraid if I really buy into this I'm going to lose myself. It's powerful. It's a powerful thing to say. I don't want to lose myself. I want to lose myself. I admire that very much because if becoming Yid means losing yourself, that's not good. That's horror. That's a state of disconnection. Being in self, having a strong sense of self, being connected to your source, that's an identity. That's not losing yourself. That's finding yourself. How do you know that you're finding yourself? Because you're not interested in yourself anymore. You're not interested in just taking. You're not interested in being a consumer in this world.

43:28 If you're Baruch, you're Abalash Chasseh. If you're Baruch, you're connected to your source, I see everything is connected to the source. I see all the oneness in the world. That's the whole goal of being a person in this world, is to be able to connect things back to their source. So a person who really finds their identity connected to Hashem, of course I'm going to make a brachah. And it's not just the physical brachah that I'm making. Everything in the world now becomes an opportunity to be Baruch. In the world becomes an opportunity to serve Hashem. Girls have a beautiful shabbat.