Transcript
Automatic transcript; may contain mistakes, especially in Hebrew.
This week's question is I have heard and learned that the environment of a home comes from the woman I would like to have a more Yiddish a home than I grew up in But sometimes I struggle to know how to create that without ever having lived in a home like that and knowing really what it should be What it should even ideally be? How do I work towards this goal without a clear picture of what success would look like? This is a very important question Merebe told me many years ago about the creation of the Be'Yakov system. Why did Be'Yakovs get started to begin with? Before World War I, women generally spent all their times in their home with their mothers. So they learned all of the halachos that they needed from their mother. In fact, I remember my grandmother, Allah HaShalom, who was not an Orthodox woman. When I was learning smicha, she asked me what I was learning. I told her I was learning At the time Hilchas Malicha the Halachas was salting me and she started telling me every single detail.
I said, Grandma, how do you know this? She said, this is what I saw my mother do. That was the system that Klal Yisrael had before World War I. You saw how your mother did it and that's how you learned to raise a Jewish home. You learned from your mother Halachah. You learned from your mother Yershemayim. This is the home. After World War I, Jewish homes no longer had the capacity, because of World War I, they no longer had the capacity to educate their daughters in the same way. Families had been torn apart. So Sarsheerah came along and she had an innovation. She started the Beis Yaakov system. And the point of the Beis Yaakov system was to be able to do exactly what the home was meant to do. Because it's very true, very often, because of the nature of men, because of How much men are out of the house especially because even if you count minion alone that Represents about an hour and a half at least sometimes of a person's day plus often holding down jobs That are from 9.30 To 6.30 Including travel time they're just not as home as much as women Are today that's very challenging especially because women also have jobs and what we ask Women to do is so astronomically impossible nevertheless it is true that it falls upon
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And today this is a very common question. I want to raise a beautiful Jewish home. I went to seminary for the year. Perhaps I'm more engaged than my family was. And so I don't know what success would look like. We don't necessarily have a Beis Yaakov system today for those people that are teaching them what success would look like. So a couple pieces of advice. Number one, trust yourself. There's a couple of classes that I've been teaching. What you want your home to look like and go ahead and implement it You'll make mistakes, trial and error is part of the game, but ultimately you can lose yourself If you start asking, okay what do I do now and what do I do now There is no set formula, no Rav knows exactly what the answer is to every question So the first piece of strong advice is trust yourself
Asalah Chalav Asalah Chalav means having a family Rav who you can go to to ask questions to because sometimes there's something called information deficit. I myself have a two and a half year old son. I have a couple of ideas about where I'm going to send him to school but I'm not a hundred percent sure where he's going to go. I have an intuition but I also want to get more information. It's so important to have a Rav who can help guide you through the process. I'll give you one quick example of this. I was speaking once to the Rashiv of Mevaseret, of Isaac and Shalito. We were talking about parenting and he's a couple years older than me and he has children already that are married and he has grandchildren and he told me one thing for sure. Everyone always says you have to be worried about this, you have to be worried about that, worried about that. Most kids figure it out. The biggest thing you have to do is be patient, take a deep breath, Shabbat hat'slach raba amal be'yisrael Shem Be the shohom abayyis neeman b'yisrael
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