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This week's question is, financial insecurity can be a big source of stress in a marriage. We are a klei kodesh, slash, kolo, slash, teaching couple, living simply, but still struggling to make ends meet. With children, we've been blessed within quick succession, and the hope for more, b'shatova. What general advice would Rav Berg offer to a couple with big dreams of having big family, Mertz Hashem? The opportunity to channel our careers dedicated to the klal, but whom the numbers are just barely adding up. Okay, great question. I'll share with you a personal story. It's not a story that makes me sound very good, but it's okay. I think we can learn a valuable lesson from it. When I first got married, I decided I was going to learn in kolo. My wife was definitely down for that. She wanted to support us in kolo. And I didn't know how the numbers were going to add up. I was very cynical at the time. And I said, I know everybody tells me it'll work out, it'll work out, but I want to see how it's going to work out. So I started writing down every time we spent money. If we went out to eat, if we went shopping, if we put gas in the car,
every single time I wrote it down. I had a document. My wife saw this, and she said, what type of guy did I marry? Where's his emunah? Where's his bitachon? So she had a relationship with my Rebbe, so she spoke to my Rebbe, and she said, what's with this guy? He has no emunah, he has no bitachon. My Rebbe called me in, Kylo one day, and he said to me, you know, you married a woman who has much greater emunah than you. I said, Rebbe, I know that for sure, but what are you talking about? He said, you know, I spoke to your wife, and she told me what you're doing. So I said, okay, is there something wrong with what I'm doing? He said, yes. He said, it doesn't work if you try to make it work al-pidarecha teva. It will work. Hakadosh Baruch Hu will send you the money. But you have to let go and let God, as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm a cynical man. I said, Rebbe, I don't understand what you're saying. I need to know how it's going to work. He said, if you need to know how it's going to work, it's not going to work. If you let go and just go for it, you'll see that the Rebbe will send you money whenever you need.
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I had a very hard time with this. I'm going to be honest with you. I had a very hard time with this. But I trusted my Rebbe. I said, okay. I stopped writing in the document. We learned in Kailul for six years. The truth of the matter is we didn't stop because we ran out of money. Every single time we needed money, the Rabbin Hashalom sent us money. One year I didn't know how it was going to work out. The Rabbin Hashalom sent me a new job in camp that paid thousands of more dollars, Baruch Hashem. And that's how we made it that year in Kailul. One year. I had to stop working at night. I was tutoring kids at night because I was going to have the opportunity to learn Bechav Rusa with my Rebbe Shlita. And I was going to take a loss of $10,000. And that year they opened up the Karel Elyon in Landers that paid $10,000 more. It's very difficult to have that level of emunah. I can't tell you that I always did. But I'll tell you that if you do, if you let go and you let God, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will work it out. I've been married now for 17 years. And Baruch Hashem, it's always worked out. I know it's not logical,
but that's the way the world works. As the Rambam says, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will provide enough for you. Now you won't lead a luxurious lifestyle, but you will have enough. But you can't have an impoverished mentality, and this is what I mean. If you're in chinuch, there's going to be a lot of withdrawals from your emotional bank account. You're constantly going to be giving. You need to make sure to be mechabed yourself. I know you feel like right now you may not have a lot of money, but believe me, you have more money now than you're ever going to have. Make sure that you're spending time with your husband, and going out to eat with your husband, and it doesn't need to be every week, but it needs to be that you feel like you're living a mechubad life, and your children, bezer Hashem, they might struggle also, because they too might feel like, you know, my parents are in chinuch, and we don't have as much money as the other kids in the class, and I don't have the same nice clothes. It's important that your house be a place of dignity, that the kids feel like even though they may not have as much money, and that may be obvious to them, but they feel like we always had enough,
like there was never a feeling that we just couldn't have what we needed in our lives, and it doesn't mean that they're going to have all the same toys, and all the same clothes that their friends have, nevertheless, If they feel like their home is a place of dignity, it's going to be something where they feel, I value what my parents are doing, and I'm privileged to be a part of it. That would be the general advice that I would give to you. In the meantime, enjoy what is a wonderful, wonderful life. The years that I was in Kolal were the single best years of my life. My wife and I always reflect on those years. Ah, if we could only go back to those years in Kolal, they were amazing. And especially as you're in Chinuch, and you have the opportunity to share Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Torah with his children, it's mamish, a blessing. Enjoy every single minute of it.
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