Supporting A Husband in Kollel

2:12 and taking money from tzedakah, that is obviously a terrible thing. However, there is another Rambam. This Rambam is in the last Rambam in Hochashmita v'Yovel. And the Rambam says, וֹלֹא שֶׁבֶּת לֵּבִי בָּלְוָד referring to the Shevet of Levi that sat and learned all day, but not only members of Shevet Levi, אֲל־א כָּל אִש וְאִש מִכָּל בָּא יָא אֹלָם Anyone who lives in this world, אֲשֶׁנָד וְרוּחוּ סֹוּ. whose spirit generously motivates him and he understands with his wisdom to set himself aside and stand before God to serve him and minister to him and know God, proceeding justly as God made him, removing from his neck the yoke of the many reckonings, meaning he's not working, which people seek. He is sanctified as the Kodesh Kedoshim. A Kodesh Baruch will be his portion and his heritage forever and will provide him for what he needs in this world just like he provides for the Kohanim and for the Leviim, so we have a contradiction.

3:35 In the Rambam, our initial Rambam in Hechos Talmud Torah made it clear that a person who's sitting and learning all day without working is going to end up losing his HaOlam HaZeh, his HaOlam HaBa, he's going to lose everything. On the other hand, this Rambam in Shemita V'Yovo makes it clear that somebody who's sitting and learning all day and he's not working at all, this is Kodesh HaKadoshim. So which one is correct? Obviously, if it's a contradiction in the Rambam, they're both correct. The Kesef Mishnah, famous Kesef Mishnah on the spot, says the Rambam was only talking in Hilchus Talmud Torah disparagingly about someone. who has the ability to support himself, but takes from others. In other words, he has money, but he chooses to take from others. But if somebody is not capable of working and learning at the same time, and instead is choosing just to learn, then he's certainly allowed to take money from Tzedakah in order to learn. There's also a Chuvas HaTashbetz that argues against the Rambam, as well as the Abarbanel, who argues against the Rambam. And in fact, in this Chuvas HaTashbetz, the Tashbetz says, already in his time, which is 600 plus years ago,

4:40 that people were not capable of learning full-time and working full-time, like the Rambam says, and therefore it was unreasonable, and therefore the Tashbetz and the Abarbanel thought that it would be mutr. The Ramah in Shulchan Aruch, in Yerudea, says that there was a minug, and I'll quote you and now I'll just read it in English, says, And therefore, the practices in all Jewish communities has been that the Rav of the city has an income and provisions from other people of the city, so that he will not have to engage in work in front of other people, so that the Torah becomes degraded in front of the multitude. And this applies specifically to the sage who needs it, but for a wealthy person it is prohibited. And some are more lenient, saying that it is permitted for a sage and his students to accept subsidies from those who donate in order to strengthen the hands of those who study Torah, since in this manner they can engage in Torah in affluence. So the Ramah was saying that there was already a minigame in his time to support the Rav of the town and his Talmidim, again according to those Sheetahs that were more Mekel, so that people could sit and learn Torah. Now, in World War II and the Holocaust, unfortunately, Torah was decimated.

5:50 And because Torah was decimated, Revan and Cutler, Zech Hatzadek Levracha, Another Gedolim created a more widespread kolel system where men were encouraged to take time off before they went out to work in order to sit and learn. In this way, Torah was continued in the world because we had lost not just six million but we had lost so many Bnei Yeshiva and rebuilding Torah in the world was and continues to be a priority. The question is how do we support such a system? Baruch Hashem today, there are kolelim all over the world. People are learning Torah, people are growing, people are focused. It's a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful thing. And Baruch Hashem, we have many wealthy people that are supporting the kolel system to allow those that are serious about their learning to really take the next step to ensure that we have a home that's built on the concept of Kedush of a Torah and really building a home based on the foundation of Torah. Full disclosure, I spent six years learning in kolel and those were some of the best years of my life,

6:55 some of the most growth-oriented years of my life, and I'm very, very proud that I was able to start my family with the concept of sitting and learning. However, for many people, even if they are getting family support and even if the kolel is paying them, sometimes it's not enough. Sometimes that creates a pressure on the wife to be able to support her husband. Now, of course, there is no greater shluss than the shluss of supporting Torah. And it is a wonderful thing if a wife can do it. But a wife has many, many pressures. And those pressures may include building a home, having children, raising a family, and going out to work sometimes can create a tremendous amount of pressure. If it's something you want, you should understand it's a beautiful, beautiful thing to support a husband who's sitting and learning. Does the husband have an obligation to support the family? The answer is absolutely. Of course, 100% he signs a ksuvah. In fact, Chazal talk about a penalty that a man can have if he doesn't provide for his wife in a meaningful way. But, nevertheless, for a family who chooses.

7:58 to have the husband, for sure, in the beginning, sit and learn for a year, two years, three years, whatever it is, there's certainly nothing wrong with a woman who chooses to take this burden upon herself and to help support the family while her husband is sitting and learning. That is an amazing, amazing way to start a family. Again, why did it become more widespread? It became more widespread because we're rebuilding Kala Yisrael. And again, Baruch Hashem, today if you walk into Yeshivas and Kaelulim, you see that Kala Yisrael is thriving. And if you'll ask about long term, that the husband is going to sit and learn. for 20, 30, 40 years, and he's not going to work, and the wife instead is going to support him, that's a family decision that every person has to make. And that, we certainly shouldn't look down on a woman who's supporting her husband and supporting her family while the husband is, you know, becoming a tremendous Tamach Achum. I would never speak disparagingly about a person like that. On the other hand, I certainly don't think it's a woman's obligation. I don't think that that's what... a woman has to do. And if she chooses to do it, that's a wonderful thing. So again, in.

8:59 summation, the concept of kolel is not a radical shift. The concept of kolel already existed in the times of the Tashbets and in the times of the Rambam and in the times of the Ramah. That is not the radical shift. The radical shift was made by the Gedolim of the last generation in order to maintain Torah in our community, where it had been decimated after the Holocaust. Practically, for many women, that means that they're going to contribute in a meaningful way to supporting their families. Bear in mind that today most families are. two-income families anyway. So the pressure on a woman to provide for her family, regardless of whether or not her husband is learning in kolel, is a reality for many, many families today. If a woman chooses, together with her husband, to enter into a shidduch, where they're going to be learning in the beginning, and she doesn't have, or even if she does have, family support. Bear in mind this will create a pressure on you, and it is hard, especially in the beginning, where, Be'ezer Hashem, you're zecha to have children in the beginning of your marriage, it can be very hard to provide for your family and to support your husband at the same time.

10:03 And yet, it is a wonderful thing. It is a beautiful mitzvah. It's certainly not an obligation, but one who chooses to do it should be zecha to the keser of Torah, and Be'ezer Hashem will see tremendous nachas, from her husband and from her children who are looking at her husband and seeing that they're building a home based on Torah. One last note, I think that in my own education of my own daughters, when they talk about, you know, what it was like when Ima and Abba first got married, and we say to them that we spent the first six years, learning in Kailul, they often ask why, what was the purpose? And we answer them twofold.

10:38 Number one, the reality is that in my life, I did not start taking my Yiddishkai seriously until I was 18 years old. I was married by the time I was 21, and in order to try and become someone who serves Hashem, I wanted to know a little bit of Torah, and so it took, time to build just on a practical level. It takes time to build knowledge. Number one. Number two, and I think this is the more important message, we wanted to share with our daughters that our home is a home where Lima Torah has primacy. And so therefore we took the beginning of our marriage and we focused it on sitting and learning so that we would be able to prove, you know, to tell our. children, that our family is built on the primacy of Torah. Now again, to be honest with you, Baruch Hashem, I have wonderful supportive parents, but they did not support us financially. Between myself and my wife, I tutored at nights and I worked in camps during the summer, plus I got a check from the Koel and I did other... Jobs within the yeshiva that was able to give me a little bit of Parnassah and my wife Baruch Hashem Is somebody that really wanted this and she was willing to support over the years She worked very hard to make sure that we had an income as well.

11:44 And I have to tell you it was all worth it. It was worth it, We didn't get support not from my parents not from her parents. We had emotional support, but we weren't getting financial support It was 100% worth it, Because we felt very strongly that this was a wonderful and a beautiful way to start and build a family However, I would caution you that while idealism is a wonderful wonderful thing and something that you should hold on to for as long as possible, It's important to understand what it is that you're getting into it does create pressures And if you're not fully on board, it can create shalom bias issues. So know what you're getting into before you jump into it again It's a wonderful beautiful thing But don't let your idealism run wild make sure that you're in a concrete position to be able to say This is how we're going to do it and this is something that I really want understanding that, before the trials and tribulations come up will certainly help you negotiate any challenges you have.