Chapters
Transcript
Automatic transcript; may contain mistakes, especially in Hebrew.
This fascinating story in this week's parsha A story that I'm sure many of us have learned before in Chumash, but I want to try tonight to take a little bit of a deeper look at this story. Maybe we heard it as children, but it's always worthwhile to relearn the stories of Chumash when we become adults. Because there's a lot of wisdom that we missed when we were kids. The story that we're going to relearn tonight is the story of the children of Aaron. Whose names were Nadav and Avihu. What was the story? The Torah tells us that Nadav and Avihu took ketores; they were maktor ketores l'fnei Hashem. The Torah tells us that they brought these ketores eish zara. It was a strange fire, asher lotziva osam, that Hashem had not commanded them to bring. Vateize eish milfnei Hashem, vatochal osam, vayamusul l'fnei Hashem. A fire came forth.
And it consumed them, and they died before Hashem. So it appears to be that Nadav and Avihu were doing something; they were makter ketores. Some sort of strange fire. It's not exactly clear what that means. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu was very upset by this, that he hadn't commanded them to do it, and so he kills them. If we take a look in Rashi at this point, what would you say Nadav and Avihu did wrong? What would you say? Reading the story in Chumash, what would you say Nadav and Avihu did wrong? It sounds to me like they brought a carbon and ketores, and Hashem had not commanded them to do so. Rashi brings here two pshatim. We're only going to learn one of them tonight, even though there's two. We'll just focus on one. Rashi says what appears to us to be a very strange thing.
Read the full transcript
He quotes Rav Yishmael and he says Rav Yishmael Omer she'su yayin nichnasu lemikdash. The problem was that they entered into the Beis Hamikdash drunk. That was the problem. At this point, what obvious question should we ask? Where do we get that from? Where did Rabbi Shmuel get this from? Rashi is bringing Rabbi Shmuel that the problem was not that they brought this katores, that was that Hashem commanded that Hashem didn't command them to bring. The problem was that they were drunk. Where do we see any reference to that in the pesukim? And then Rashi continues, and he says, "How do we know this?" We know this because if we look later on. Let's look at what happens. Hakadosh Baruch Hu speaks to Arna Cohen, and he tells him the following. He says halacha. Veidaber Hashem el Aron lemor Hashem speaks to Aaron, meaning why Aaron? Because Aaron is of course Aaron, the Kohain, the father of Nadav and Avihu. He's now going to instruct the rest of the Kohanim, and he says Yayin v'shecher al teisht ato uvanecha itach bevoachem el ol moed velotamusu chukas ol modarosechem.
So Hashem said, don't drink any wine when you and your sons, meaning no Kohanim, should drink wine when they come into the Beis Hamikdash, because otherwise you're going to die, and this is a decree for you and all your generations. Rashi quotes the Medrash here, and Rashi says as follows: It's a mashal. It's a mashal. The mashal goes as follows: A king has a trusted member of his house, and he finds this person standing at the entrance to a store, and without any explanation, the household member that beloved household member The king kills him and cuts off his head. So now he appoints somebody else in that position. We don't know why he killed the first one until he comes to the second one and he says, 'Do not go through the entrances to the stores.' If he said that to the second person, what must that mean the first person did to be killed?
They must have gone through the entrances to the stores. So says Rashi, quoting the Medrash. How do we know that Nadav and Avihu died because they were intoxicated? Because Hashem said later to Aaron, 'Make sure no other kids go into the Beis Hamikdash when they're intoxicated.' Obviously, then, what do we infer? That they were intoxicated, and that's why they were killed. There's one very obvious problem with this. When did Hashem say to Aaron that it's אסור to go into the Beis Hamikdash when you're drunk? After they were killed. So did Nadav and Avihu know that it was אסור to go into the Beis Hamikdash when they were drunk? No. They couldn't have known it because Hashem hadn't told them about it yet. So exactly. So now the question is, if Nadav and Avihu didn't know about it and they did it and it was wrong.
The question is, why should they have known better? Obviously, it's not obvious because Hashem had to say it. So it sounds like not even if you did something wrong that they should have known about. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu needs to spell it out clearly Because obviously there was something they did wrong that they should have known about. That's why they were killed. But whatever they should have known about, Hashem still has to express it clearly and make it usher. So what exactly is going on over here? That's our first question for the night. There's another question that I want to highlight because it's a sensitivity here. If you look carefully at the words of the Torah. It's very interesting what Hashem says to Aaron. He says, "Yayin v'shecher alteish" Wine, and an intoxicating wine. You should not drink. Who shouldn't drink it? Very interesting language. Ata Ubanecha itach And your sons along with you.
And then the pasuk finishes, 'Chukas olam le'doros eichem.' This is a law, forever. It's a very strange thing. It sounds like the pasuk is highlighting what this is not just something for you But it's for your children, and it's not just for your children. It's for all time. As if there's some sort of emphasis on the kids, some sort of emphasis on future generations. Shouldn't doing this? Why is Hashem highlighting this future generation issue? Does the Torah every time it tells us something is aser have to say chukas olam l'doros echem that this is aser for all time? When the Torah tells us something is aser, what do we assume? It's aser forever. If the Torah comes along and says to us, "Here's Hilchus Kasher" Does it have to come along and say "Chukas Ola Modoro Sechem" that it's aser for all time? We know that.
And here, not only does it say that it's aser for all time, but it's like 'Ata Uvanecha Itach,' not just you, but also your children. So there's something future-oriented going on over here. You understand the problem? So we have two problems in front of us. One, Nadav and Avihu were killed for being drunk, even though the halacha was not yet said that going into the Olam Oydrunk is punishable by death. We only learned that afterwards from them, but we only learned it afterwards. And number two, what's the emphasis on the future? I want to make one more point before we start to get into an answer here. At this point in the story, would you say Nadav and Avihu made a mistake or did a good thing? I think we would all say, 'What? Clearly, they made some mistake. Obviously, these are not the heroes of the story because if they were the heroes of the story, we wouldn't be talking about how they were killed because they brought a strange fire because they were drunk. We don't exactly think of them as good guys in the story at this point, which is why it's very interesting what Rashi says.'
Rashi says as follows: the pasuk says. Vayamusu lefnei Hashem They died before Hashem. Vayomer Moshe el Aron, Hu Asher diber Hashem lemor bekrovai ekadish. Moshe says to Aaron, after his two children have died. This is a dramatic moment. Nadav and Avihu have died. We can't begin to imagine the pain of a parent who loses a child. And what does Moshe Rabbeinu say? This of this did Hashem say I will be sanctified through those who are closest to me. What is the Torah saying at this point? That Nadav and Avihu are what? Far from Hashem or close to Hashem? Sounds like Nadav and Avihu are very close to Hashem. And Rashi adds on a layer here that's very important. Rashi adds on a layer that says as follows: Hechan diber. Where did Hashem say this? So Rashi quotes the pasuk, 'Vinoati shama levnei Yisrael v'nikdash bechvodi.' I shall meet there with the children of Klal Yisrael, and I'll be sanctified through my honor. Al tekri bechvodi. Don't read it as bechvodi. Ela bechvodi. Revowelize the words, and it'll sound. It sounds like through my honored ones.
Amr lo Moshe la'aron. Moshe said to Aaron, "Aaron, achi" Aaron, my brother. You hear the kindness where Moshe Abinu is. Being Menachem Avil, he just lost his two nephews. Aaron just lost his two children. He says, "Aaron, my brother." Yodeya Hayisi. I knew sheyiskadei shabayis b'miyuad of shalmakom that the Mishkan was going to become sanctified with those who were miyuad, those who were intimate with Hashem, those who were closest to Hashem. Vhayisi saver, but I was under the impression Obi Obach. That who was going to die in order to sanctify the Mishkan Moshe says, I thought it was going to be mere you. Achshav roa ani, but now I see shehem gedolim mimeni umimeka. That not only were Nadav and Avihu not the villains of the story, they were greater, Moshe says, than you or I. Now let's stop and ask ourselves a question for a second. Is Moshe Rabbeinu just being nice?
If Moshe Rabbeinu was being nice, who would see through it? Arna Cohen. We're not talking about a small person. Moshe Rabbeinu is coming, and he's making an argument. If he's making a halachic argument, then what would Arna Cohen have said? Arna Cohen would have said that doesn't mean that's not true. It's not true what you're saying. It's not comforting to somebody. It's not comforting to somebody. To tell them something that's not true. If Chassiv Shalom somebody passes away And you go and you say, let's say somebody loses a parent or a grandparent, and you go Like your father He was the gadol hadar. It was him and Rav Chaim Kaniewski. Is that going to provide any comfort to you? Because you know that your father was not considered the gadol hadar. Platitudes are not a meaningful way of comforting somebody. Arna Cohen, of course, who knew the halacha, would have said right away It's not true "Right?" If Moshe Rabbeinu is saying to Arna Cohen, "I knew that the Mishkan was going to be sanctified from somebody great, from somebody that was close to Hashem," I thought the two closest people to Hashem was either me or you And it turns out Nadav and Avihu were even closer to Hashem than me and you. First of all, where do we see that in the text? Do we see anywhere in the Torah that Nadav and Avihu did something great?
Other, but what do we see? They did something worthy of death. So what's going on over here? And how could it be that Moshe Rabbeinu was saying to Aaron and Cohen? It must be that it was true because Moshe Rabbeinu was saying it. This wasn't like an aver at all, but it sounds like something that was unbelievable. In fact. There are those opinions in Kabbalah that say that the reason that the Cohen Gadol is able to go into the Kodesh Hakodashim on Yom Kippur is because Nadav and Avihu were makter the Keteres in the Mishkan. That's what paves the way for the Cohen Gadol to go into the Kodesh Hakodashim. So we see that it doesn't sound like an avera at all. In fact, when we say the words Ana Hashem Hoshiyana, Ana Hashem Atzlichana, you know what Ana stands for? Eliyahu Nadav, Avihu. So when we every time you say Ana Hashem, you're referring to Eliyahu and Avi, Nadav and Avihu. These sound like great people. These don't sound like bad people at all, and yet we don't see any mention of that in the actual Chumash. You had a question, or now it was this question.
Good. Say there. I want to try to answer all three questions now. Everyone has the three questions. Should I repeat them quickly to make sure we got them all? Just review them quickly. Number one, shall I see if I can remember myself? Number one, what did Nadav and Avihu do wrong? If they got drunk, when do we find out that it's אסור to get drunk? Only after the fact. Why are they being punished for something that wasn't yet commanded to anybody? Number two, what's this focus on the future? You and your children shouldn't get drunk. This is for all generations. It sounds like a big deal. And we don't see that by any other avera. And number three, finally We can't seem to tell if Nadav and Avihu are the good guys or the bad guys in the story. If they're the bad guys in the story, that seems to be the simple text. We see that when the Torah says Echrovei Echadeshia, that I'll be sanctified through those who are closest to me, what does Rashi say? Rashi says, 'Who's the closest ones?'
Nadav and Avihu. That's very strange. We didn't see any mention of that until this. Vague reference of the Krovay Hakadosh. That doesn't sound like what's really happening in the story. And yet that's what Chazal are saying. So it must be true. What's going on over here? I want to share with you a deep idea that I heard from one of my Rebbeim many years ago. And it seems simple when you say it But I think all of us struggle with this issue. I'll say the husband side of it. You can think of it from the wife's perspective, but I'll say the husband side of it. Today, there's a famous book called The Five Languages of Love. Have you ever heard of this book? Have you read the book? If you haven't read the book, the thesis of the book is very simple. The thesis of the book is that we all have different ways of communicating love to people.
What we often do is we use the language of love that we would want But just because you're speaking in the language that you would want does not mean that's what your wife wants. Your wife might have one love language, and you have a completely different love language. For example, let's say somebody's love language is I like gifts. I like gifts. What will the husband do? He goes out and buys his wife an amazing gift. And he's so excited, and he writes a beautiful note alongside it. And he's so excited to give her this gift. And she opens the gift, and he spent so much money on it and so much time thinking about it. And she opens the gift and she smiles and she says, "Thank you so much." What's the husband feeling? Devastated. I spent so much time, so much money, so much thought going into this gift to make sure that I got you the exactly perfect gift. And you said thank you, but I was hoping you were going to be blown away. I was hoping that it was going to reach you and you were going to start crying and say best husband ever. I thought this was going to be an amazing moment, and instead, what did she say? Thank you so much. That was so thoughtful of you. I was actually really hoping to get this gift.
And he feels very underwhelmed. Am I missing something over here? It sounds like there's a fight over the air conditioning. I know that in the battle between Torah content and temperature, temperature will win every time. So I don't even feel bad about that. It says 30. Is that the big deal? It's going to be okay. That size 19. We could also guys. Let's listen. We could also just turn it off. Besaid. The wife doesn't appreciate the gift. Why not? Because for her Gifts. Because for her, gifts are not a meaningful love language. What does she want? She wants time. She wants attention. And actually, she feels in a certain way. She feels in a certain way that maybe even a gift is a little bit like a slap in the face. You don't really care about me; you just want to buy me something. So here's this guy who's very, very well intentioned.
Very well intentioned. He thought he was being the best husband ever. But in reality, what was happening? In reality, he was totally missing his mark. Because he was communicating to her in his language, but not in her language. Who's right in this case, the husband or the wife? The answer is the wife. Because, as well-intentioned as you are, it's wonderful that you're well-intentioned. Love is not about meeting someone on our terms. Love is about meeting someone on their terms. Because if you love somebody, it's about pulling back your own ego. And saying, what does that person want from me? How do they want to be loved? So it's beautiful that you were well intentioned. It's beautiful that you got a gift and she said thank you. But the reason she didn't make a bigger deal about it is not because she doesn't value you. She loves you too.
But you didn't speak her language. So there's a certain arrogance that we have when we're in a relationship because we naturally pay attention to the way that we want to serve the other As opposed to the way the other wants to be served. When we talk to our children, same thing. You come to your teenage child over Pesach and you say, "I have an awesome idea for Pesach. It's going to be so much fun. We're going to go to IKEA." I'm not saying that I did this over Pesach. We're going to go to IKEA and we're going to make a scavenger hunt, a find the afikoman scavenger hunt. We're going to have ChatGPT print out all of these clues about where we're hiding matzah all over the IKEA in Beis Hamish. We're going to search the store, and it's going to be awesome. For your 10-year-old and your 8-year-old, it's awesome. For your 18-year-old and your 16-year-old, it's less awesome. And for your married daughter and son-in-law who come along because they have nothing else to do Why in the world did we come?
If you want to gift your children with something, what language do you need to speak? You need to speak their language. So if your kid is a huge Knicks fan and you say, 'Hey, guess what? We're going to the circus.' Thanks, Dad. I didn't really want to go to the circus. You get the kid Knicks tickets and he's like over the moon. I want to see the Knicks lose to the Detroit Pistons. For example, if you're a Knicks fan, you know that's naturally what's going to happen. I'm talking to girls. You have no idea what I'm talking about, but trust me, the Knicks are going to lose to the Pistons in the first round. It's going to be horrific. I do know. I do know because I'm a Knicks fan, and I know this is going to go poorly. So It's basketball. For those who didn't know. Thank you. Listen, I got to do something to get your attention away from the non-air conditioner. We're down to 25. We're moving in the right direction. Perfect timing, right?
I'm not saying it's not beautiful. It's a beautiful attempt to love somebody. But there's an arrogance to it because you didn't love them on their terms. I'm going to say something now. I don't mean this to be a mussar. Every one of us does this. We all want to be in relationships on our own terms. So we naturally. Pick and choose in relationships the things that we're good at. If somebody is, if you have a guy, we'll make it guys. We'll take it out of the realm of Sem for a second, just to make it a little easier to hear. If you have a guy who's naturally really good at learning but not good at davening, he's probably going to naturally gravitate towards focusing on his learning more than he is on his davening. If you have somebody who's naturally good at Chesed, they're going to naturally focus on the Chesed and maybe not the parts of the relationship they're not as good at.
But the MS is that if we're serving Hashem Our first inclination needs to be not how do I want to serve Hashem But how does Hashem want to be served? Is there a thing that exists in the world. I'm not religious. But I'm deeply spiritual. You know what I mean by that. It's like I don't keep Shabbos, but I do yoga. You know what I'm saying? I don't keep kosher But I'm a vegan. Now that's beautiful. It's a beautiful thing to be a spiritual person. I'm actually a big believer in spirituality. The difference between religion and spirituality is that religion is Hashem telling us in what terms He wants to be served. Spirituality is the feeling that we have towards Hashem. It's awesome to be spiritual. I'm not taking anything away from that. But if you're not spiritual and religious at the same time, we should ask the question: Who are you serving?
Because Hashem gave us a very clear rule book of how He wants to be served. Hashem says, "I want you to keep Shabbos." Hashem says, "I want you to keep kosher." So actually, one might even argue that if you have a hard time davening And you say to Hashem, Look, I'm not really good at davening. I actually don't feel deeply connected when I daven. But because you asked me to daven, I'm going to daven. In a certain way, isn't that service more precious because it's out of your comfort zone? Because it's not the way that you want to serve Hashem. So when Hashem sees us doing something in the religious aspect, in the rules of Judaism, what does Hashem say? Hashem says that's incredible. You're serving me in a way that's uncomfortable for you, but you leaned into the discomfort because you care about me. It's easy to give the gift. That's what you're good at. It's hard to sit on the couch and listen to me and validate me for half an hour, but that's the rules of engagement.
Today we live in a world where relationships are so challenging, and this is why we show up to relationships. Again, I don't mean to say something not nice, but we show up with a little bit of arrogance. We make it a lot about But aren't I being a great husband? Aren't I being a great wife? You're being a great husband the way you want to be a great husband, not the way she wants a husband to be. You're being a great wife. She says, "I'm being a great wife. I make him dinner all the time." And yes, food is the way to a man's heart. That's true. But that might not be his love language. His love language might be gifts. That's why he keeps giving them to you. So if you come to him and you say, 'I got you a present,' you might see that he lights up, and you go, 'He lit up over the fact that I bought him a fifteen-dollar present when I was in the store.' Doesn't he realize I slave away at making dinner for him all the time? But that's not his love language.
The beginning of love is pulling yourself back from the way that you see the world to seeing the world through their lens, and then serving them in that way. What was Nadav and Avihu's mistake? The Torah is absolutely clear. The mistake was that they served Hashem in a way that Hashem did not command them to serve Him. They did what they wanted to do, and the Torah is unequivocal about this. We don't need to make anything up. It says, "Vayikchu b'nei Aaron, Nadav Avihu ish machtaso, vayitnu b'hen ish, vayasimol alei k'tores, v'yakrivulus nei Hashem ish zara." It was a strange fire. What was strange about it? It was strange because it wasn't part of the relationship. They did something that had no business being in the relationship. Asher lo t'siva osam. Hashem said, "I didn't command you to do this. What did you do?" says Hashem, "This is worthy of death."
Because relationships die when we serve the other person the way we want to be served, and not the way they want to be served. There are couples who kill relationships this way. They could work at a relationship for 20 years and ultimately the relationship withers away. Why? Guy says I do not know what this woman wants from me. I don't know what she wants from me. I did everything I could, and he gives a full list of all the things he did. And you know what? He did them awesome. He was well intentioned, except for one thing. That's how he wanted to be served. Not how she wanted to be served. So the natural consequence of that is death. This is a very cool part of the Torah. What's this got to do with drunkenness? What does it mean to be drunk? We had Purim. What was that?
Not be aware of what. Who said other people? Take that a step further. To not be aware that other people are what? That they're other Right? That's why people when they're drunk, what do they do? They get way too close to you. All the boundaries fall away. You see, boundaries are really important in a relationship. That's why it's uncomfortable. People who are drunk together don't mind being together, but the worst thing in the world is to be the sober person in the drunk room because it's gross. It's like, dude, you need to back up. How many drunk people can fit on a couch? It's a three-seater couch. How many drunk people can fit on that couch? And by the way, if you ever watch the moment that they all sober up It's an amazing thing. You've got eight people crammed into a three-seater couch. Nobody drinks for 20 minutes. People start to sober up, and you see one by one people start leaving the couch. Why?
Because as you come back to sobriety, you know what you come back to? Boundaries. Boundaries. The key in a relationship is what? You're you, and I'm me. You know how relationships fall apart when you and me start to merge into each other. You know what the symptom of that is? The symptom of that is I'm serving you the way I want to be served. That's when you've lost sight of the fact that the person that you're with is someone else. You see, if you're conscious and aware, I want to make sure everyone gets this. If you're conscious and aware that the person that you're with is somebody else, then how do you think of them? You say that's someone else. So when you're thinking to yourself, what do I want to get my husband as a gift? If he's someone else, what do you think about?
What would he like? By the way, that's what it's an amazing thing. You see couples before they get enmeshed, before they get entangled. You know what they do, especially in the beginning of their marriage. You know what they do? They call up their mother-in-law or their father-in-law and they go, "I want to get my husband a gift for his birthday." What does he like? What do you think he would like? Five years later, they don't ask that question anymore. Why? You think it's because they know? It's because sometimes that's the case. But sometimes, you know what happens? You stop seeing your husband as someone other than yourself. You're so used to being in the relationship that you think he's you. So you're treating him like you would treat yourself. Which is not the way to treat another person. That's the way you would treat yourself.
That's why very often women speak to their husbands with the voice that they use to speak to themselves. And if the inner voice that they have is highly critical, how do they speak to their husbands? In a highly critical voice, and that's not the way they spoke to him when he was someone else. When he was someone else, how did they speak to him? The way that he needed to be spoken to in order to hear those words If we're using our voice as if we would speak to ourselves, that's not okay. You are not him, and he is not you. There's appropriate boundaries. So what does Hashem come and say? Aaron, I need to tell you something, and this is critical for you. But it's critical for the way you relate to your children. In fact, it's critical for all relationships and all time. That's why there's this emphasis on the future.
Stay boundary. Stay away from being drunk in sanctified places. Your marriage is a sanctified place. Your parenting is a sanctified place. Those are places of kedusha. If you are drunk in those places, if you lose boundaries in those places, if you don't know that you are you and he's him, that your children are themselves and that you are you, then you're going to be in a world of danger. You know what it means to be a parent when you've lost sight of the fact that your children are not you. Your children are not you. You know that. Your children are your children. When you parent your children from a place of boundaries, you say, 'I'm the parent, they're the child.' What does this child need at this point? But when you become enmeshed and entangled, and you lose those boundaries with the kids, what starts to happen?
Everything starts to fall apart because all of a sudden you're not parenting the kids. Who are you parenting? Yourself, and that is not a good way to parent the kids. And by the way, kids know it. When you see your mom get deeply triggered by something that you do, you came downstairs with that nail polish. You came downstairs with that lipstick. You came downstairs wearing that outfit, and all of a sudden your mom sees you, and she gets deeply triggered. It's not because I'm just making up a case. It's not because she's parenting the child at that point. It's because something about her was deeply triggered in that moment. And a parent's responsibility is to step back and say, "My triggers belong to me. I need to parent this child right now." So a kolish baruch comes along and says, "Of course, not even if you did the wrong thing. Of course, it was punishable by death. But I have to tell you, this is true everywhere in all sanctified places for all time. All relationships require what?
Boundaries. Period. Having said that, there's one more layer to the story. None of the viewers are villains. I said it the entire time. I said it. I prepared myself. You raised your hand, and I asked you to wait because I was getting to this moment because I think that you were going to ask this question. Don't tell me if I'm wrong out loud. It'll embarrass me. Tell me later if I'm wrong. But I think that this was the question you were going to ask, so I asked you to wait because I wanted to answer it now. If I'm wrong, you'll tell me later. Everything we just said indicates that Nadav and Avihu did the wrong thing, and yet, what did we say? They were closer to Hashem. Even closer than Moshe and Aaron. They're what gives the Kohen Gadol permission to go into the Kodesh Hakodashim. Every time we say Ana, it's Eliyahu, a Navi, Nadav and Avihu. That's big.
So perhaps one of the answers is as follows: For sure, they did the wrong thing. But there's a major difference. Between a spouse that gives up on the relationship and a spouse that loves with all of their heart but loves incorrectly There's a major difference. Loving incorrectly means what? You're not meeting the person where they are, and that's wrong. That can kill a relationship. But there is something exceptionally precious about people that love with all of their heart in the way that they know how to love. Isn't that an amazing thing? It's true. You have to be religious, but there are also people that are religious that are not connected at all. There are people that follow all the rules of the relationship, but what are they missing? They're missing their own deep connection. Nadav and Avihu did the wrong thing. Worthy of Mitzvah. You can kill a relationship by serving somebody on your terms and not on their terms.
But there's another piece to this. They were totally consumed with giving their entire person over to Hashem. Hashem didn't even command us to bring these katoros, but we want to so badly, so we're going to bring these katoros. But you're not allowed to bring these katoros. But we have to. There's something so exceptionally precious about that. And so yes, it does have a positive impact, and it does pave the way. The Zohar Kadosh says for the Cohen Gadol to be able to go into the Kodesh Hakodesh on Yom Kippur. All of tshuva that we get for all time, because the kohen gadol goes into the kodesh kadashim on Yom Kippur, is in the s'klos of nado v'naviu. So there's actually two lessons here, not one. One lesson, which is huge, is to step out of your own arrogance, see them as another, see the world how they see the world, and serve them on their terms. There's another lesson here too.
Serve Hashem with all of your heart in the best way that you know how. You put these two things together, that's the perfect relationship. If you have one or the other, you're in big danger. So what's Arna Cohen feeling? Arna Cohen is feeling like, oh my God, my kids just died. And Nadav and Avihu, they did a terrible thing. Arna Cohen must have been so upset. I can't believe my kids crossed that boundary and served Hashem only in the way that they wanted to serve Him. How could I have raised such children? What does Moshe Rabbeinu say to console him? They did the wrong thing But look. They sanctified the mishkan because they served Hashem with all their heart. So Arna Cohen was consoled from that. He said, There is value to what they did, even though what they did was wrong. There is value. The husband who comes and he gives his wife the gift, even though her love language is time and attention, he didn't do nothing.
If he spent 20 years loving her in the wrong way, you know what you can at least say. But he spent 20 years trying to give his heart to her. So now, what do you need to do? It's not a hard fix. What do you need to do? You just need to tell him you're speaking the wrong language. Just take that feeling that you have and put it this way. To the person that says I don't daven but I do yoga, say that's awesome that you do yoga. Can we figure out how to make davening into something that you can bring your whole heart into? That's where Yiddishkeit wants us to be. Bring your whole self. It's awesome that you love family time. We still have to keep Shabbos. Those are the rules of engagement. But can we bring that meditative experience that you have into Shabbos to combine the way that you serve with the way that He wants to be served? Ultimately, that's how we build a relationship with our Kadosh Baruch Hu.
In some ways Most of us either fall on one side of the aisle or the other. There are girls that are really good at following the rules. They check all the boxes. They're perfectly sneerish. They've never done an avera. Right on their shiduch resume, everything reads perfectly. They're awesome. They're really good rule followers. That's religious. But maybe not everybody. And I'm sure there are many girls that are not this way. But maybe some of those girls are just really good at building resumes. They're really good at following the rules. It doesn't mean that they're serving Hashem with all their heart. There are other people. They're so passionate about their yiddishkeit, but they're not following the rules. Our avoda. And again, each one of us needs to think about the area that we want to work on. Some people, or let's say the rule followers, need to work on bringing themselves into the relationship. Others who know how to live wholeheartedly maybe need to learn how to see Yiddishkeit from the lens of what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants from us, and not necessarily how we want to serve Hashem. Girls have a wonderful Shabbos. It's awesome to be back.
Is this shiur filed in the wrong place? Let us know.