Parshas Shemini - I Can't Live Without You

3:17 Of course, that's not what they meant. They meant achil Hashem is. Listen carefully. What? How did they use it properly? They used it by saying, 'Our job is to reveal godliness in this world, to be mekadosh shem shamayim. And if we, Bnei Torah, wearing yarmulkes and tzitzis, going on a trip, will behave in a way that's disgusting, people will look at the messengers of Hashem in this world, and they will say' 'Look how a Jew behaves. That will not reveal godliness in the world. That will conceal godliness in the world. Therefore, don't make a chil Hashem in Shea Stadium. It's true. That's what a chil Hashem means. But really, a chil Hashem happened way before that. Chalal means an empty space. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world, He created the world as the ultimate act of love. Olam Chesed Ybana. He created the world as the ultimate act of love. What is love? Love is the act of pulling back yourself to create space that you can then share with another. I'll say it again. Because very often when you talk about love, when you hear the sheir, what's the classical sheir? Ahava comes from the lation of have.

4:39 Which means to give. Love means to give, right? What does that mean? It's true. Everything is true? 'Ahava' from 'lation' of 'have' means to give, right? But what does that mean? It means love is the act of pulling back yourself to create space that you can then share with another. We all have a natural ego, a natural gava, that takes up space. Love means I've pulled back that space to share space with you. So somebody comes to you, and they want to talk about what they want to talk about, but you don't want to talk about that. You want to talk about what you want to talk about. What's the ultimate act of love? I'm going to pull back what I want to talk about. I'm going to authentically be present for you in this moment, and we're going to share that space together. What's the shared space? The shared space is I've given you now room to come into this space by pulling back myself, but I'm still present.

5:40 But I'm present, but I'm not present. You see the catch-22? I'm present in this space because I'm actively listening to you. I'm not present in the space because right now it's about you. I'm listening to you. So the topic is what you want to talk about. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is obviously everywhere. Everybody knows that. There is no space that's devoid of God. But in order for us to exist, there needs to be a void of godliness, because otherwise, where would we exist? In other words, this is a very deep idea. So you need to lock in. Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence, His infinite presence, is so overwhelming that in order for our existence to come into being We can't see Him. It's like, for example, if you held a candle up in the middle of the day, you don't see the light of the candle because the light of the sun overwhelms it. So when Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world, what did that mean? It doesn't mean He created a chil, a space. A chil, Hashem, means He created a space. That appears to be devoid of godliness, and that is the space that we occupy. It was the ultimate chilas sham. Does that make more sense to you now? So it's true. What when I go to Shea Stadium and I

6:59 Scream at the opposing team. That's a chilas sham in the sense that people are looking at me and saying that's how a Jew behaves. But when God created the world, it was the ultimate chilas sham because now you could live in the world and not see God at all. But that's also the ultimate act of love. Because of course God was within that space. Because no space is devoid of godliness. But the act of love was that God gave us the feeling that we are other than God. So isn't it an amazing thing? We have the ability to betray God now. If we would see God clear as day, would we ever be able to do an avera? It wouldn't even be possible. I'll tell you why it wouldn't be possible, because we wouldn't even have room to exist. You understand? Free choice is actually the capacity not to do the right thing. In other words

8:00 Should we be proud of free choice? We all walk around saying free choice. What do you mean, free choice? Everyone's very sure of themselves. They have free choice. Why are we so sure? We need to have free choice. Why? Because if I don't have free choice, something is missing. But if you think about it, free choice is a despicable thing. I have the ability of doing crazy things with my free choice. Now the truth is I don't really have free choice. I don't. As much as I have the physical capacity to take a knife and stab myself, I don't have the psychological capacity to do it. I hope. I once gave this year and I said, "Could you take a knife right now and kill me?" And one of the kids said, "Absolutely." Don't get to see me after class. We shouldn't be proud. We shouldn't be proud of free choice. Free choice is what occurs when you have existence. So you'll say, But then why did God give us free choice? The answer is, it's not impressive to be in a relationship if you don't have the ability to betray the relationship. It's not impressive to not divorce someone if you can't get divorced. It's impressive to stay married to somebody if you can get divorced. So when everything is going wrong in the relationship

9:19 And divorce is an option. I don't mean going wrong in the relationship like abusive stuff or immoral stuff. I'm just saying your regular run-of-the-mill going wrong in the marriage stuff. When everything is going wrong in the marriage, and you say, "Of course, I'm staying loyal. I have divorce as an option, but I would never choose it because I care about you." That's when the marriage is real, right? So if you can't betray the marriage, you're not really in much of a marriage to begin with. Which means that our aviras, in a certain way, are what really Really are an expression of our humanity. God said, "I'm going to be mechallel myself. I'm going to pull myself back, and now you can betray me." Isn't that an incredible act of love? But if you think about it, that's what all parents do, right? When we were learning to walk, when we were learning to ride bikes. What did we do? I don't know if you girls were taught how to ride bikes, but when I was taught how to ride a bike, this is how my father taught me. He would hold the seat, and he would hold the handlebar, and then after a while, he was just holding the seat.

10:21 And then he would say, "I'm holding the seat." But he wasn't holding the seat. He was five feet behind me. And then you're just imagining a parent that doesn't allow their child to fall. That's not a really good parent. Because if your child never learns how to fall, he never learns how to walk. My closest friend in the world is missing his leg. I've told you this before, and he's not afraid of falling because he's fallen so many times that he knows he'll be okay if he falls. The greatest gift that God gave us, the ultimate act of love, was him saying, "I'll give you the ability to betray me." To do the exact opposite of what I want. This way, when you choose me, it's meaningful. And the more you choose me, the less free choice you have. But here's the catch: twenty-two. The more you choose God, the less free choice you have. The closer you're going to not existing.

11:18 Now that scares people. God, the ultimate act of love. He sacrifices himself. He pulls himself back to allow us to have our own existence. To be able to say, 'Go ahead, do what you like.' You exist. When we do that, we have the capacity to betray Him. Because we have free choice. The more we choose Him, the more clear it becomes to us that God is right, that God is just, that fulfilling His will is the ultimate act of truth. The more we do that, what happens? The less free choice we have. Now you know this because all of you, to a certain degree, have already diminished your free choice. Do you remember when you were little and you would play with dolls for hours? Now imagine if you were in your dorm room and you get a knock on the door from Mrs. Lichtman—I don't know, whoever it is—and you're sitting there with your Barbie and your Ken and your Malibu dream house and the dream car, whatever they call it, right? And you're just back and forth. So pretty with your little easy bake ovens, right? I didn't grow up a girl, so I don't know any of these things. But I'm saying, you missed out.

12:39 I have five daughters now. Let's catch you out. Baruch Hashem, Barbie has never crossed my threshold. If somebody saw you doing that now, what would we say? Crazy. Something's wrong. My son plays with magnetiles for hours. That's awesome. He's two and a half. If he's twenty, he's gonna have a job with his name on his shirt. Now I can sit and play with magnetiles with my son for a bit. But imagine if I was able to sit with my son for hours and play magnetiles. So we've all lost a certain degree of bechira. We're too mature to do that now. Couldn't even do it if we wanted to. But isn't that a good thing? Because the more you grow up, the more you have an expanded consciousness of the truth, the less free will you have. Your nikkudas habechira is moving, right? What if you got to a level with more and more mitzvos, that you had less and less "quote unquote options." Now that gets very scary because people think, "What do you mean? Options are good, right?"

14:00 Not all options are good because a moment ago, that guy who said, 'I could stab you if I wanted to,' that's a sociopath. That's not a great option to have. The closer we get to the truth, the less options we have because we wouldn't choose things that are so far beneath our dignity. So what appears normal to a 16-year-old, to a forty-year-old mother, what would she say? I can't believe I ever thought that was normal. Some of the things that go on—you'll forgive me for saying this. By the way, I say that because it makes me feel better, not because I actually think you're going to forgive me. Some of the things that go on—when I hear about them, I'm like That's not normal. But it's normal to an eighteen-year-old. And what do they say? That Rebbe is not relevant anymore. No. I'm relevant. In an expanded type of way. And when you're having a limited das because you're immature, so of course you have greater options. But that doesn't mean you're a higher level of humanity. Now here's the thing: as you move along that spectrum, getting closer and closer to God, the truth of God's existence becomes more apparent. The less existence you have.

15:18 Take Har Sinai as an example. The first two dibros, when God spoke to us directly, what happened? Everybody died. Why? Because our existence is predicated on I can't see God. But what happens when I experience God directly? There is no more space for my existence. The sun has come out. My candle is no longer shining. The candle can only shine in the dark. The closer we get to the truth of God's reality, the more our existence comes into question. So here's the line. You ready for it? It's a tough one. A philosopher, confident of his own existence, questions the existence of God. The rav, confident of God's existence, questions the existence of man. The philosopher is confident of his own existence, so he questions the existence of God. Does God really exist? But the rav, who's confident of God's existence, questions his own existence. God is infinite. How do I exist? If I exist, what do I exist for? How do I do what God wants? You understand? Our existence comes into question.

16:37 There's a secret. There's a secret to Judaism. I saw this art many years ago. It's still one of my favorite ideas that I've ever learned. It's brought down in a sefer called Argadal Yau, written by Rav Gadali Yeshur. He's quoting somebody; it's not from himself. But he says over the following idea. It's a mind blowing idea. It was worth it to come to Eretz Yisrael for this entire year just for this idea. I'm not exaggerating. How did Rav Kiva die? The Romans tore off his skin. They combed his skin. When we actually look at the Gemara says something a lot more than that. The Gemara says that Rivakiva was being tortured by the Romans, and he was mumbling under his breath. His talmidim were there, and they said, 'Rebbe, what are you saying?' He said, 'I'm saying Kriyashma.' They said, 'You're saying Kriyashma, even now.' Even now, when they're torturing you, you are saying Kriyas Shma. He said, 'What do you mean?' Every single day, when I say B'chol Nafshecha in Kriyas Shma.

17:52 I am thinking to myself, "Afilu Natales Nafshecha. Even if they would want to take me, that I should die al Kiddush Hashem, I am ready to die. And now that I have the opportunity to do so, I shouldn't die al Kiddush Hashem." And with that, he said, "Shema Yisrael, Hashem Elokeinu, Hashem Echad." And he was Mirich be'Echad. He extended the word Echad. You may have seen people do this. They say "echad" Extended the "echad," Parcha neshmasa, and he passed away. So listen to this explanation. The simple explanation, as we said, the Romans tortured him, then he died. He died with shma'isra on his lips, as so many kaddishim have died before. The argudayah brings as follows: Every single time we do a mitzvah. If we did that mitzvah with the proper dvekas, the proper connection and attachment to Hashem, we would die, because our feeling of closeness to Hakadosh Baruch Hu would be like Har Sinai. It would be like God was connected with us, because God is one with the Torah, and the mitzvahs are His Torah. So every single time we do a mitzvah, if we did it on that proper level.

19:01 We would die. So how come we don't? If we did it on that level, the pasuk says v'chay b'hem. And you shall live by them. What is v'chay b'hem? V'chay b'hem means that you should not die unless it's the big three or under certain conditions. Gilai arayas shvichas damim avedizari should only die al kiddush Hashem for those three things. Other than that, v'chay b'hem you should live. But v'chay b'hem doesn't just mean you should live by them. It means that the mitzvah that would naturally kill you paradoxically gives you life. Because the very reason for your existence is to do the mitzvah, you do the mitzvah and you're so close to Hashem, you should die immediately. But now you've justified your existence because your whole existence was to do the mitzvah. So paradoxically, the mitzvah that should kill you, V'chaybahem, it gives you life. If you have that idea, listen to the Gemara again.

20:03 The Talmidim come to Rav Akiva. Rebbe, what are you doing? And he says to them, "I am saying Kriyashma." They say, "Even now." He says, "Of course." Why? Because every single day when I am saying Kriyashma, I say B'chal Nafshecha, and I experience such dvekas, such connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that really I should die. I feel Natzalas Nafshecha. I am ready to die. But because I had such an amazing Kriyashma, what happens? The Kriyashma that should kill me, what does it do? Gives me life. But now that I have the opportunity to die al Kiddush Hashem, there's no more vechaybahem. Because vechaybahem tells you, unless it's one of those mitzvahs you should die al Kiddush Hashem for, you're supposed to do the avera. Now I have the opportunity to die al Kiddush Hashem. Therefore, there's no more vechaybahem. So what could kill me now? Not the Romans, the mitzvah. So listen what it says. He was mirch be'echad means he connected himself to the oneness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

21:03 Parch in the Shmasla, and he passed away. What killed Rav Akiva? The mitzvah. Rav Akiva didn't die. Again, it's a drash. Rav Akiva didn't die because the Romans tore his skin off. He died because the truth of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's reality was so present that there was no more room. Just like Klali Yisrael by Matan Torah. Why did Klai Israel by Matan Torah have to daven? Please give the Asaras Adibros. Give the rest of them through Moshe Rabbeinu. Because they said we want to do Your will. And doing Your will means we need a little bit of distance. This is the real expression of intimacy in a relationship. Intimacy in a relationship means you're over there and I'm over here. Without you, what would my life mean? When someone says I can't live without you, that could be psychologically very unhealthy. If you can't live without me, what does that make you? That could be sick.

22:14 That could be sick. And then what would happen, Chassoul Shalom, if somebody passed away? What are you going to do now? Our existence should not be dependent on another person. But imagine if somebody just left us. Somebody that we loved with all of our hearts, and they just left, and we go, 'No, I'm okay.' There's something really sick about that too. Why? Because my existence is not dependent on you. My life is connected with you, and when you are not here, connecting to my life is lacking. That's totally different. Do you understand the difference? When Rivakiva says every single day, 'When I'm saying Kriyat Shema, I'm so intimately, so deeply connected with You, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that I wouldn't have life anymore.' What's he saying? He's not saying I wouldn't have existence. Existence, he'll have. Why? Because the mitzvah will give him existence. But his life is so connected to the truth. That's what Klal Yisrael experienced by Har Sinai.

23:18 That's what Nadav and Avihu experienced. Look at the pasuk again. Nadav and Avihu. Who were Nadav and Avihu? Children of Aaron, coming. These were good. These were the future leaders of Klal Yisrael. And they brought the khatiris. Why the khatiris? Usually I ask you girls all the questions beforehand. Tonight I didn't. Why the khatiris? Of all the things, why the khatiris? Why was it the khatiris that killed them? And they brought the khatiris ve'akrivu l'ofnei Hashem. They were mekarivu before Hashem. Eish zara, a strange fire. Asher loy tzivasam that God didn't command them. Now you could read the pasuk. You could understand what's really going on. Keterus comes from a lashon of kesher, connection. Carbon comes from a lashon of not sacrifice. What does carbon mean? Karov. Nadav and Avihu got to a level where they said we're bringing the ultimate kesher, the keterus. Before Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but what? But it was an eszaro. It was a strange fire. What made it strange? What made it such a strange fire? Asher loytsiva isam. If God would have commanded them to bring that kataris, it never could have killed them. Why not? Because the mitzvah that paradoxically should kill you.

24:40 Gives you life. But because Hakadosh Baruch Hu didn't tell them to bring it, the dvekas that they had to Hakadosh Baruch Hu killed them. That's what killed them. Many of you have heard the Meimar Chazal before that Nadav and Avihu came into the They came in drunk. Nadav and Avihu came in drunk. What are we talking about? We're talking about. You think when we read these things, we need to read them as adults. You think Nadav and Avihu came in like they had just come from crack, getting drunk in the shuk. And they came in, and they said, 'Wherever they were, doesn't matter, right? Gove, it doesn't matter where they were, right?' And now you could come in, and you could come in. The Torah would have told us. The Torah would have told us about such people. That would have been important. We just had Purim.

25:32 Purim, Litzaarenu Is a yomtiv that could be done with so much kedusha. What happens? As I'm sure, unfortunately, some of you may have seen. There are people that get drunk in an inappropriate way. By the way, today we have to ask a question: Why are we even doing it? For that level, for those people that can do it, fine. But Rachmanolitslone, there are twelve-year-olds that are getting drunk. I remember when I was living in America, Hatzala came on my block and had to take a twelve-year-old to the hospital because he drank. Who's giving a twelve-year-old to drink? That's not what we're talking about. By Nadav and Avihu, Chassr Shalom, Nadav and Avihu had an emes to Purim. Purim means I'm leaving behind my das ad lo yada. I'm leaving behind my conscious knowledge to go to a place. Listen carefully now. Of chachma. What does that mean?

26:31 Chachma is the ability to understand that which I don't understand. When I say that, nobody understands what I mean. I'll explain. Women are bina. So bina makes sense. This is why one day when you get married, Bezrat Hashem. Vito bezmano to the right one in the right time. And they all said. By the way, when you say that in yeshivas, you get married. They go. I guess so. When you get married Very often husbands have good ideas. They have these big ideas. They're chachma ideas. This great idea, and you see wives. Such tsidkanios we have in Klai. Such nashtem tsidkanios. They go like this. And by the and here comes. I know it's coming. How is that going to happen?

27:47 Because Bina is taking wisdom. Hamaven daver mitach daver, and it's putting all the pieces together to make it grounded. That's why behind every great man there's a much greater woman going, "Okay, sweetie, this is how you'll do it." Smart husbands go, "Yeah, that sounds right. I thought of the whole thing myself. That's the way it really goes. But you can get so caught up in the world of bina that you could lose out on chachma. You could get so caught up in the practical; everything has to be understood that you forget that there are things that can't be understood, for example, love. Love can't be understood. Love is totally irrational. Ask someone why they love someone. What possible answer could you give? I love you because you, what? Bring home a parnasa. So he's just a glorified bank. You don't love him. You love the money that he gives. I love you because you cook. Hire a chef.

28:54 Here's the best one. I love you because of the way you make me feel. What happens when they don't make you feel that way anymore? Ava she'ena t'luya bedaver. Real love is. It's not attached to anything. It can't be explained. The only logical answer of why you should get married to someone is I have no clue. Why would you ever marry that person? I don't know. I feel compelled to do it. I couldn't possibly tell you why. It's not because it's not un. It's not because you don't understand. It's because it's not understandable. And it's a wisdom of the heart. It's not illogical. It's just beyond the realm of logic. So men very often live beyond the realm of logic, which is why we do the dumb things that we do. But there's also value in living beyond the realm of logic. Of understanding this can't be understood. Trying to understand it is not only futile, but it's going to take me down. I have to appreciate that there are things that can't be understood.

30:13 Remind me how I got here. Very good. Thank you for those that are taking notes. So Purim is not Adlo Yada to get drunk to lose your das. In the sense that now you're just going to act like a complete fool. That's obviously not Purim. Sometimes das gets in the way of true understanding. Sometimes I become so grounded in that everything needs to be understood that I'm not living with that which is beyond understanding. So when you see people that have had a holy Purim, what does that look like? They got drunk, and now they say, "I love Hakadosh Baruc." Why? I have no idea. But here are all the Torahs that I learned over the course of the year. Here's my ambitions. Here's my goals in life. These are the things I want to do, and they speak about important things. And then you see people on Purim that get drunk that just act like a vil dechaya. It's better for those people to keep that secret inside of them. Sometimes be quiet. Not every secret is meant to be told. So leaving das behind doesn't mean acting like a vil dechaya.

31:25 Leaving das behind means going to the place of chachma. What does it mean that Nadav and Avihu were drunk? In order to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you have to understand not everything can or should be understood. There is arrogance to believing that the human mind can understand everything. So I had a conversation with a Talmud last week. He got very upset because in Sheir, I said God is infinite, and that's why He's capable of doing this thing that is beyond the realm of logic. And like many young men have said before, I hate when rabbis give that answer because they're just chugging up. God is infinite. I don't have to explain it. God is infinite. It has to be understood. So I asked him, why does it have to be understood? He said, what do you mean? It has to be understood. If it can't be understood, then it's not true. But that's only because he's looking at it from a perspective that his mind is large enough to encompass everything. But the truth of the matter is, our minds are very limited. I want you to take a moment.

32:27 Think for yourself. A little exercise, quick exercise. Think for yourself. We'll take ten seconds into it. Won't take more than ten seconds. I want you to think of something that's beyond your wildest imagination. Think of something that's beyond your wildest imagination. Think of like a unicorn. Unicorns don't exist. Think those types of things. Take ten seconds. Countdown: ten, nine, eight, seven, six. You should be working on this right now. Four, three, still going. Two, one. Did you think of something? You can only think of something that exists. And then take multiple things that exist to create something that doesn't exist. Think about a unicorn for a second. What's a unicorn really? I know what a horse is. I know what a horn is. I can put those things together. I can make a house fly. There aren't any flying houses. I can make a house fly because there's such a thing called flight. There's such a thing called houses.

33:15 But you can't imagine something that doesn't exist. Why not? Because logic is limited. We've been, We've been taught. We've been taught. That's good. We've been taught that logic is everything. Logic is everything when it comes to this world. If you ask me, should you learn math? I would say absolutely. Should you learn science? Absolutely. History for sure. These are things of this world. They could be comprehended. If somebody comes along to you and says, What was the real machlokes between the north and the south regarding slavery? Everybody knows it wasn't really about slavery. They owned, whatever. I don't get into the details right now. Doesn't matter. They did. It's not like they treated the slaves post the. Pose the freeing of the slaves in an appropriate or dignified way. It wasn't about slavery, but you're gonna have a million different theories about what it was. It was the South was more powerful than the North in terms of the finances, so this was a way of taking away the power of the South. We could have this conversation for a million years, but the point is, if I came to you in a history class and I said, 'Yeah, it's illogical. It's beyond the realm of logic. It can't be understood,' what would you tell me as a history teacher? That's not a good enough answer. When somebody comes to you from a religious perspective and they say, your das is important.

34:36 Because God gave it to you. It's your responsibility to use it to serve Him. But thinking that you can understand everything is actually the impediment to getting close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. In fact, thinking that you can understand everything is the impediment to any relationship. I'll give you an example. Think about how the following would feel: You're married. You have a a difference of opinion with your husband, Okay? This might happen to you once or twice over the course of a marriage, And your husband comes to you and he gives you a psychoanalysis of why you feel the way you feel. Wouldn't that be hurtful? You grew up in a certain type of home. You have a certain vision. You have this relationship with this person in your life. Really, all of this is just a reaction to that. How gross does that feel? I didn't hear. What was it?

35:45 That comes with its own challenges. When I bought a couch, I was mocked. It has recliners and no pull away mattress. Just in case. The reason it feels so uncomfortable when that happens is because there's too much bina, there's too much das. Those conversations have to occur within the realm of chachma. When we enter into conversations with our spouse, they need to be non-judgmental, open, and curious about what the other person actually experiences. Otherwise, you're not in a marriage; you're just telling another person what to do. And if they don't do what you want them to do, you come up with this whole psychoanalysis to tell them. It's all manipulations. It's not openly curious. There's not a real agenda of we're working together, sharing this space, to figure out what we want to do collaboratively for our family. There's a feeling of no real connectivity. So it's an interesting thing.

36:58 Once you start to date, you'll know a lot of things about a person. None of them have to do with anything. So you'll go on these dates and you'll find out all these things. They went to this camp, they went to this school. These are their priorities in life, and all those things are important. I can't necessarily build a life for you if we're heading in two different directions. But the most amazing thing is, you could have two people that have the same exact checklist. One of them you'll want nothing to do with, and one of them will be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Why? Because on a bina level On a das level, it makes sense. They both have the same checklist. But on a chachma level, on an intimacy level, on a drawing close level, to be macro of those keteris, there needs to be a little bit of drunkenness, kaviocha. There needs to be a little bit of letting go of the knowledge, and just allowing yourself to connect. Some people, when they date so much with their minds, and not enough with their hearts, that they can't ever get married because they're constantly chesbening all of these different scenarios.

37:59 How do I know? That's the question. How do I know? They have all the things on the checklist. How do I know? What's the answer? The answer is, and people say, When you know, you'll know. I don't know if you know when you know, but I know this. If you're going into any relationship and it's all about the cerebral, then there's something that's missing in the relationship. Nodavinavio, Chazal say Nodavinavio are what allow us to have the Cohen Gadol go into the Kodesh Hakodashim to be mechaper for all of our sins on Yom Kippur. It was in their schus. How could that be? The answer is as follows: Every avera. In theory, we shouldn't be allowed to have tshuva for it. And this is what people say. Sounds like this. Ready? You all, you've all asked this question at some point, right? How could God really forgive me? If I say I'm sorry so many times for the same exact avera, at some point the person I'm doing it to, they're not going to forgive me anymore, because actions speak louder than words. So every Yom Kippur, in a certain way, what do we feel?

39:02 This is a ridiculous thing. I said I'm sorry for this last year. I wasn't sorry for it then. I'm not sorry for it now, and I'm probably going to do it tomorrow. So why would God ever forgive us? What does it mean that the essence of the day is mechaper? Itzumo shayom is mechaper. It means all of those things are together bina and together das. But when you love someone, no matter how many times they've done the same thing, your faith is great. Faith is not logical. Faith is beyond the realm of logic. Your faith is great. They could still do it, and that's what it means. Every morning in Modani, when we say Raba Emunasecha, that God has great faith in us. That's why He woke us up again. That's what it means to be in a relationship.