Toldos - Don't Daven B'Yichidus

2:52 To not be able to bring life into the world is an unbelievable tragedy. Yitzchok's davening is not a simple davening. To daven for a wife who's not capable of having children is no small thing. On my block, for many, many years, there's a woman. She ran a gun. She had no children for many, many years. Crazy Maisa with Rechaim Kaniewski and Baruch Hashem today she has children. But for years she didn't have children and she ran a gun. The pain of a woman who can't have children and the pain of the husband, who's davening for his wife to be able to have children, is like something that Blessed Hashem, nobody in this room will ever have to experience. So the tefila of Yitzchak is a serious tefila. The tefila of Rivka is pouring out their hearts. This is a serious tefila. Rashi says, 'Vayetar.' What's the lashon of vayetar? It means here be v'hifser be tefila.

4:00 Not just any davening; a tremendous amount of davening. A tremendous amount of davening, Rabbeinu says, doesn't mean shuckling like you're having a seizure. Tremendous amounts of davening means emiss of pouring out your heart to the Rabbanu Shlalom Crying like the Rebbe describes, crying from the depths of your soul because you're in a matziv that you have to cry out to the Rabbanu Shlalom. Lenoichach ista. What would we have expected these words to mean? Rashi tells us the strangest pesach in the world. That Yitzchak and Rivka went to their separate corners. He went to one corner and davened. She went to a different corner and davened. What is going on in this Rashi? A couple can't have children. They're pouring out their hearts. To the Rebbe and Shlomo, I would have imagined that this would have been the time, if there was ever a time, for a couple to be together and to daven together.

5:08 This is the time that they should have been davening together. The pain of a husband and wife that go to their separate corners The pain of a husband and wife that they live in separate corners. Rebbe said there are people that live like that. There are people that live in the same home, but they live in separate corners. They're not together. They live under the same roof, but they're not together. There's no achdos. There's no unity, no ahava. They're crying out to the Rebbeinu Shalom for children. Go to the same room. Go to the same corner. What's Rashi telling us over here? In fact, the Rishbam says the Pshat is exactly the opposite. Lenoichach doesn't mean, says the Rishbam, that they go to the separate corners. It means Ad Raba. That each one was davening on behalf of the other one. Le noy chachishto that Yitzchok was davening with all of his heart that his wife Rivka should have a child.

6:07 Exactly the opposite of Rashi. Mamish, what we would have expected. And the Meshech Chochma and also the Svarno I saw says the same shot. The Meshech Chochma says an unbelievable earth-shattering pshat, a pshat that every one of us needs to really think about. The Meshech Chochma says that Yitzchak understood that he was going to have a child. It was never a question for Yitzchak if he was going to have a kid. That wasn't the question. He was told Avram Avinu was told he's going to have a child. Avada he's going to have a child. What was Yitzchak worried about? That the child wouldn't come through Rivka. That's what Yitzchak was worried about. He wasn't worried for himself; he was worried for somebody else. This past week When I was in America on Friday I had the opportunity, and whenever I have the opportunity, Rabbeis, I have to grab the opportunity. If you could see your Rebbe, even for a couple of minutes.

7:14 Yishalmi says, "If you are mekabel pney Rabbe, you are mekabel pney Hashchina." So I had the opportunity to run to my Rosh Yeshiva, who I grew up with. Who had Baruch Hashem been zayicha to a relationship for over 30 years now. I had the opportunity to run to Rabbi Bender. So I was by my rashi shiva, and he's handing me all the new svarim that he's published, and I want to share with you the pshat that he said on this meshachachman on this rish bam. The beginning of the creation of Klal Yisrael is when one yid davens for another yid. That's what it means to create Klal Yisrael. That the tefila of Klal Yisrael is not selfish. I'm not worried about myself. I'm worried about somebody else. I know I'm going to be okay. The Rebbeinu Shem gives me avtach in my life. But what about Yenim? What about the person next to you?

8:05 A tefila that is selfish is not a Jewish tefila. And it's not the first time that it happens. We know that when Sara Imenu conceived Yitzchak. Rashi tells us that it's juxtaposed to Avram's tefilas on behalf of Abimelech's wife, that they should be able to conceive. All the maidservants should be able to conceive. Klal Yisrael is born when you daven for somebody else. And that's what the Gemara in Baba Kama says. Call him evakish rachim al chavero, v'hu tsarach la'osay davar. Who nenetchilo? If you have something you need in your life, and your friend has the same thing, daven for the other person. And you'll be answered first. "Says the Maral. What does it mean that you'll be answered first? How does the Maral explain it? He says, 'Unbelievable.' He says, "When you daven for somebody else, you become the conduit for them to receive the bracha."

9:01 Imagine you had a hose, and you're going to hose down your front lawn. So you turn on the sprinkler system. The hose gets wet before the grass does. You are going to be the conduit for somebody else to receive bracha, and since you are going to be the conduit, memela you receive the bracha. Says the Maral. You're the hose. A yid's tefila can never be selfish. The basis of Klal Yisrael is built on giving to somebody else. That's the nature of what it means to be a yid. Say a ma'isa. I saw from Rabbi Friend an unbelievable ma'isa. A yid came to the Chassam Soifer. He was a very wealthy yid. And he had fallen on hard times. He was losing all of his fortune. He came to the Chassam Soifer and he said, "Rebbe, what can I do? What Aitzah? What Skulah? Everybody's looking for a Skulah. What Aitzah? What Skulah can I have that I could regain all of my money?

10:03 So the Chassam Soifer thought about it And the Chassam Soifer said. You should give money to somebody else that's fallen on hard times. So the yid thought that the Chassam Soifer didn't understand him. He said, "No, Rebbe, you don't understand." I lost my money. I'm the one who needs money. The Chassam Soifer said to him as follows: The pasuk says, 'And I also heard the moans of K'lal Yisrael when the Egyptians were enslaving them.' And I remembered my bris with them. I remembered my covenant. Frek the Chasam Soifer. What does it mean, 'Vega ani shamati'? That the Rebbeinu Shlom says, and I also heard their cries. Who else heard their cries? So Chasam Soifer said that in Mitzrayim When Yidden were crying out because they were in so much tsar, because they were being beaten and destroyed and eviscerated by the Egyptians. Every yid heard the cry of every other yid, and they felt so badly. Look at that yid who's suffering, and they davened for him and they cried out to the Rebbeinu Shlom, even though they themselves were being whipped. They turned and they said, Rebbeinu Shlom, Ruven is being whipped. Please have Rachmanes on Ruven.

11:21 And Ruven saw that Shimon was crying because he was being whipped, and Ruven said, Forget about me, Rebbeinu Shlom. Shimon needs to stop being whipped. Comes the Rebbeinu Shlom and says, Vegam ani shemati. I also heard the tefillas of yidden that were davening for each other. I also heard the tefillas of yidden that weren't selfish; that their entire chayus was how can I help another Jew. I've said it once; I'll say it a million times in yeshiva. There's a word that needs to be eviscerated from the dictionary of coming to Eretz Yisrael for the year. This is your year to be selfish. That is a terrible message. It is a poisonous message. It is your time to be inwardly focused to build yourself so that you can give to another. But chas v'shalom for any guy in yeshiva to say this is my year to be selfish.

12:16 That's the opposite of what it means to be a Jew. You're in beis medrash and you can't learn with a guy that's weaker than you. You can't look at a guy in yeshiva who's suffering and close your gemara to help him. That's selfish. What type of husband will you be? What type of father will you be? What type of community member will you be? We are not selfish people. We are the people of Chesed. Oylem Chesed Ybana. The Rebbeinu Shlom created a world with Chesed, and we are his emissaries in this world. We do Chesed everywhere we turn. We do Chesed. We're a nation of Chesed. Everywhere you turn. Your chas v'shalom. Somebody got hurt. Who calls nine one? What you had called was nine one. Unless you're from the Boondocks, you call atzalah. You get stuck on the side of the road. A bunch of chasidim come and they like mamish know how to like change the transmission in the car.

13:07 I know where they learned it from. These guys are unbelievable. Chabadim. It's an unbelievable thing. You don't have food for Shabbos. Chas v'shalom. You get sick. You call the high lifeline. Our first call is to the Jew next door, who we know is going to help us. That's what it means to be a Yid. This is your year to be selfish. As if being selfish for a year will get you closer to the Rebbeinu Shalom. What a crazy thing to say! The Rebbeinu Shalom takes us out of Mitzrayim because he says, "I joined the Tefilas of Klal Yisrael." Vegamani shamati. When all those yidden were davening for everybody else, the Rebbeinu Sholom said, "And I'll also daven for those yidden." And that's how they'll go free. I read from my Rosh Yeshiva. He said a Maisa, a beautiful Maisa. And somebody came to Rav Nosson Svi Finkel's, a Chetzadik Levracha, the Rosh Yeshiva of Mir.

14:05 Who was an Adam Gadol Admaod. Everybody knows the stories. He had terrible Parkinson's disease, and he pushed himself so much to build Mir into the Yeshiva that it is today. Somebody came to the great Rav Nosson Svi Finkel, and they said, "Rosh Yeshiva, what should we daven for this Yomim Noraim?" Should we daven for Menuchas Anafish? Should we daven for Rifuah? Should we daven for Shteiking? What should we daven for? Rav Nosson Sfie looked at him and he said Someone else. That's what you should daven for on Yom HaNoarai. Someone else. A boy wrote a letter to Rav Huttner. And he said to Rav Huttner "He said, I know that the Rosh Yeshiva wrote me a letter asking me to help out this boy." It was a guy that Rav Huttner said needed help, so he reached out to a Talmud and he said, "Can you please help him?" He wrote him back a letter. He said, "Rabbi, I wish I could help him. I wish I could help him, but there's nothing I could do." Rav Huttner wrote him a letter back.

15:00 And this is what he said: "You say you are powerless to help." Are there no more tears left in your eyes? Thankfully, we still believe in the power of a kapitel tilm said with a broken heart. You broke up with your chavruta because he wasn't strong enough for you, because he was holding you back. Baruch Hashem, now you're here in yeshiva in November and it's almost Chanukah, and now Baruch Hashem, every guy in the yeshiva is the biggest masman in the world, and nobody wastes any single moment. So everybody has to have the best possible chavruta. So you decided, rightfully, that you needed to break up with your chavruta. Tell me, do you daven for that guy? Do you daven for him? Or did you just move on? The power of a capital Tilm said with a broken heart, one yid reaching out to another yid and saying I love you. I'm davening for you.

15:54 You'll be nenetchilera by side. Don't do it because you'll be answered first. Don't do it because you'll be answered first, because that ruins the entire tefilla. The nature of the tefilla has to be total selflessness. That's the nature of the tefilla. The Gemara and Bracha says, 'Amr Rav of Archanina, Saba Meshmei the Rav.' You want to know what's called an avera? You want to know who's called a sinner? You had the opportunity to daven for a fellow yid and you didn't. You had an opportunity. You're a choite. Every one of us, we're choiten. We could be davening for every other guy in yeshiva. Yitzchak davened for his wife because he said, "I know I'm going to have a child, but what about her? What about the pain of Rivka if she has to see somebody else become the mother of all of Klal Yisrael?" I want to share with you this is Pshat in Rashi.

16:52 Rashi doesn't mean that Chas v'Shalom Rivka and Yitzchak went into separate corners and they davened totally separate from each other. You know what it means? It means they went into separate corners. And from their space, all they could think about was the other person. They didn't go into separate corners because they moved far away from each other. Not pshar, couldn't be. That's not the way we create children. That's not the way we build a family from separation. Each one of them pulled back and said, "All I'm thinking about is the other person." They looked into the corner and said, "All I'm thinking about is the other person." I'm in my corner, and I'm just thinking about her. That's a Yiddish tefillah. I'm not going to say anything controversial, and I don't think I'm saying anything controversial. And if you choose to spend your summer studying and sitting and learning and going to koyl, I think that's beautiful and amazing. Baruch Hashem, givaldik. Every moment of limud haTorah is precious. I'm not chas v'shalom for one second saying that that's not amazing. It is.

17:56 I also want to share with you. This is not a but; it's an end. That the biggest gadolim in the world were the ones that went out in the summer and helped other Jews. And that's always been the way it's been. It's fascinating to see the shifts in Klal Yisrael. Every it used to be in the summer you went out and you were a camp counselor and you became a camp counselor and you should know you stiged from it because you took care of other people. The biggest leaders of the community today, ironically, were not the ones that spent every spare second in the beis medrash. They did. They staked a tremendous amount, and they also knew how to take care of somebody else, and they also knew how to daven for somebody else. I'm not saying anything chassidishal negative. If you're going to go to a koyl this summer, that's amazing. I hope that if you're in a koyl this summer, that you take the opportunity. If you know aleph, teach aleph.

18:50 Said the Lubavitcher Rebbe, if you're in a kibbutz this summer and you're learning, I hope that you're going to find a camper or a counselor to learn with. Because your Torah should never be selfish. But I want to say it clear: there is no There is no universe. There is no universe where if you decided to go to camp for the summer and you decided, I'm going to give children an amazing summer. I'm going to be mashpia. I'm going to come back from yeshiva. And I'm going to be a role model, a dugma for these boys that they could look up to and they could see the guys in Yeshivah and they could say, "I want to be like that." There is no universe where you are not doing an absolutely unbelievable thing. And Adarav it will build you tremendously, and we've seen it time and time again. How many of you were impacted by a counselor who you looked up to?

19:41 And you said, "Maybe one day I'll be like that." I know I was like that. Who are our role models? The overweight Rebbe with a beard that's sitting here at Mishmar, that guy's untouchable. I'm not going to be that. But that counselor that came back last year, I remember he was cool. And now he came back and he's not so cool, but he's cool in a different way. I was with a twelfth grader last week. And he said to me, he really wants to go to Mivaseret. Why? Because there was a certain guy. When he was in high school, he was known not to be the nicest guy. And when he came back from Ivasere and he worked in a camp, he said, 'Ib Mamish looked up to him. The change was dramatic. What was the dramatic change? All of a sudden he was wearing a different yarmulke and he was wearing a different shirt. The dramatic change was he was an unbelievable balmidos.

20:34 And after that, I started really looking up to him, and I saw, wow, what this guy has become. And I want you to know, when that guy was in Mevasseret, he used to come to Rav Hershel all the time, and he used to say, 'Rav Hershel, I think I'm a Balgiva, and I don't understand the way that people are seeing me. Please, Rebbe, help me change.' So to hear years later that now there's this kid who's coming to yeshiva because he wants to be like that guy, the opportunity to give back in the summer is the expression of all of the things that you've learned over the year. It's not a break from yeshiva; it's a hemshach of yeshiva. And Adarabba, if you take it into the summer and you use this as an opportunity to be a balcheset, I promise you, you'll see unbelievable hatslacha in learning. It won't take away from your learning a kiyuza, Adarabba. It'll make your learning even better.

21:25 I'm announcing tonight a new initiative in yeshiva. This is not an every week thing. This is not an every week thing. You could turn around. Tansy handles everything in this yeshiva. I came back. I lost my office. Tansy took my office. I want to give a Torah Sheba'al Peh for Tansy's Torah Sheba'al Peh, and I hope everybody listens very carefully. We have a new initiative in yeshiva. It's called Daven for the guy next to you. That's the name of the initiative. If you are coming to Shachris and you're davening for yourself, you're missing out on Shachris. If you come to Mincha and you're davening for yourself, you're missing out on Mincha. So there's going to be a Google form. And you're going to sign up And you're going to write your name. And you're going to say something that you want someone else to daven for you.

22:18 Daven for a poor sholema for a family member. Daven for atzlacha and you're learning. Daven for atzlacha and your chesed. And then Tansy's going to sort through all the answers and you're going to get a name. And you're going to take that name, and you're going to daven for Yenem, and Yenem is going to be davening for you. Every guy in yeshiva is going to daven for every other guy in yeshiva. It's going to be the most beautiful thing. The Rebbeinu Sholom is going to answer all of our tefillahs because everybody's going to be the hose that's spreading the water all over this yeshiva. And if a guy doesn't sign up because he says, "Nah, I'm not down." You're losing out. You're losing out on the opportunity to be a selfless person. This will change your life, Rabbi. I promise you. As much as Rambam and Tosas and Rashi will change your life, davening for somebody else will change your life. This is the basis of all of Klal Yisrael. Klal Yisrael is formed when Yidden daven for other people.

23:14 So everybody's going to sign up. I'll start to speak like Reb Ben. Everybody's going to sign up. It's a yoga move. It's a yoga move. You reach into your pocket, you take out your phone, you sign up. It's a yoga move. Now learn. Everybody's going to sign up for everybody else, but I am going to say even more than that. Because in yeshiva, Rabbi Nachman said you have to turn your Torah into tefillah. So I am going to ask even more than that—not just by shachris, not just by mincha, not just by myiriv. Every guy in yeshiva. You're right. If you're not down, you're missing out. Tansy, you don't have to live stream it. They could hear me. The icha. If you're not down, you're missing out. Every guy in yeshiva is going to take the name that they get. And you're going to put it next to your makom.

24:08 You're going to put it in your gemara. And before you start your learning, you're going to say, "I'm learning as a schus for somebody else." And we're going to change the entire structure of the yeshiva because of this, Rabbi. Because when you walk into beis medrash, you're not thinking anymore "What about me?" You're thinking, "How can my learning help somebody else?" This is the single most important lesson you're going to have in yeshiva, and it's a hemshik of what we did two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, we spoke about seeing the beauty in every single guy in yeshiva. Baruch Hashem, Tansi gave out so many of the what would the briddichevah rebbe see. Now we take it the next step. You saw the beauty in your friend. Now go daven for him. Turn your Torah into tefillah. Now go learn for him. Stop focusing on yourself. Focus on somebody else. That's how you become a bnei Torah.

24:58 That's how we've always become bnei Torah. We did not become bnei Torah by just sitting and learning in the beis medrash. We became bnei Torah and we continued klal yisrael because everybody was willing to give to everybody else. And I'll finish with this story. It's a beautiful ma'isa that The CEO of Starbucks. Somehow he got connected to Rav Natan Svi. Not exactly sure how it happened, and he took a group of high-powered CEOs and they went to Yerushalayim here Hakodesh and they went to Rav Natan Svi's apartment. And Rav Natan Svi asked this group of high-powered CEOs, he said, "What was the secret of the Holocaust?" So every one of them had a different answer: Jewish pride Never again. Everybody had their answer, and Rav Nasan Svi said, "Every one of those answers is wrong." So they said, "Rashi Shiva, tell us. A group of people that were not yet religious. They said, 'Rashi Shiva, tell us what was the lesson of the Holocaust.' He said, 'The lesson of the Holocaust is that there were five yidden that were sleeping. You can't even call it a bed. It was a wooden plank. There were five yidden sleeping on a wooden plank, and they were given one blanket. And the one blanket was enough for everybody, because everybody else was making sure that everybody else had enough blanket.'

26:20 The secret to Jewish survival wasn't only that we built unbelievable yeshivas and seminaries and shuls and mikvos and kibbutzim. The secret of Jewish survival is: I want to make sure Yenem has a blanket. If I'm covering myself and I'm not worried about Yenem, then something is dramatically wrong. But if I'm making sure that the guy next to me is warm That's how we survive together. Now more than ever This is what Klal Yisrael needs. We need to share our blanket. We need to daven for each other. We need to have a giant asifah in Yerushalayim where all of Klal Yisrael comes together and they say, "We love each other, no matter what our politics or our hashkafas are." There needs to be a giant asifah in Yerushalayim where every single yid gets together just to say, "I love you." So we're not in charge of giant asifas in this yeshiva, but we are in charge of ourselves, and we are in charge of each other.

27:16 Be'ez Hashem, we're going to bring a nachas ruach to the Rebbeinu Sholom. We're going to say Rebbeinu Sholom, I care about your children, I care about my brothers. We're going to daven for each other, we're going to learn from each other, and Be'ez Hashem, all our tefilos are going to be answered, and we're going to be maybe the gula b'mehir. Ameinu, amein.