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What does it mean to be a Jew? If you want to know what something is at the end You have to go back to the very beginning. So if Maaseh be Machshavat Chilah. Whatever is at the end that was in the original machshava. If you want to understand what it means to be a Jew One has to return to the origin story of Avram Avinu. Chazal tell us the story of how Avram Avinu discovered a kodesh baruch hu. But Chazal say it in a very cryptic way, in a way that needs to be understood very carefully. Chazal tell us that Avram Avinu was walking along And he saw a bira dylekas. He saw a palace on fire, and he cried out. And he said. Who's the owner of this palace? Who's the balabiro? Who's the owner of this palace that's on fire? And Hakadosh Baruch Hu stuck his head, so to speak, out of the window and said, "I'm the balabiro."
I'm the owner of this palace. This says Chazal is how Avram Avinu discovered Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But what does that mean? What does it mean that there's a palace on fire? What does it mean that Avram Avinu cried out, "Who's the Balabira?" And what does it mean that a Kadosh Baruch Hu just reveals Himself, that He sticks His head out the window and all of a sudden says, 'I'm the Balabira'? What do these things mean? There's a challenge that if you study history You're aware of this challenge And if you've been living for the past two years, you're aware of this challenge. The challenge of a yid is how am I supposed to live in the chaos of this world? In a general sense, the world is a very chaotic place. There are hurricanes, tsunamis. Accidents Seemingly random events In a general sense. But to be a yid in particular If you're a student of history
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And Rav Olber writes in Alei Shor that a person should study history because they should get a sense of how Yad Hashem plays itself out in this world. How could one possibly be a faithful Jew? How could one be a faithful Jew when they see Holocausts and pogroms and Crusades and massacres and exiles and Inquisitions? When you're a kid growing up in any Jewish day school To learn the history of the Jews is to learn the chaos of what it means to be a Jew. The tragedy of what it means to be a Jew. It's deeply uninspiring. If you were At all, paying attention to your years of chinuch To sit and listen to the history of our people, Is to listen to Again and again, the calamities that befell Klal Yisrael. And if you had a good teacher, they said. And yet, somehow, we rebuilt.
But still To any thinking, feeling person, it's like, Who would want to be a part of this nation? And just when you think it's over, it's still going. And just when you think there's a ceasefire A young man in my brother's neighborhood, in Nirya A soldier, Chayal. Was killed just yesterday. A father and a husband More orphaned children More widows. We were celebrating the ceasefire. Remember We just now it just happened And still, Nacha tragedy. Are we supposed to live like this? There's a young man in yeshiva at the beginning of this year after the terrorist attack in Ramot. I would say his name publicly, but I don't know if he wants me to embarrass him. I gave—I mean, I'm sure he doesn't. I was giving a little shmoos to some of the boys and I was talking about how you can't just eat your cereal.
If there's a terrorist attack 15 minutes from where we are right now, you can't just keep eating your cereal. It has to impact you, and if it doesn't impact you So how are you supposed to live? How are you supposed to be a normal human being? On the one hand, it has to impact you, and on the other hand, how could I live like this? And this young man came into my office afterwards, and he said, 'Rebbe, I'm so deeply impacted by this, but I don't know what to do with it. I'm holding so much pain for Klal Yisrael.' Just when we thought it was over Just when we thought it was over, here we go again. There's a secret. There's a secret to the life of Avram Avinu. It's the secret of what it means to be a Jew. Most people can't stare into the face of chaos.
Most people look away. When you're walking down the street in New York City In Chicago In Los Angeles, in your shulaim And you see someone who's homeless. Someone who perhaps has a foul odor. Someone who's clearly disheveled. Maybe their teeth are rotten. Most people look away. We don't want to look at the chaos of the world. Because the chaos of the world—if you stare at it—there's a question that none of us want to ask ourselves. When you're staring at the chaos of the world, you want to ask the question How could this possibly be? But you don't want to ask that question, "How could this possibly be?" Because that question will take you to a very dark place. If I start to engage the chaos of the world, if I start to look at all the tragedy in the world I'm going to say, "How could this be?"
Who's in charge of this project? That this person ended up in this place? Who's running this show? The palace is on fire. Who would ever run such a yeshiva? Who would ever run such an institution that people could get sick, that people could be homeless, that people could be impoverished That there could be such a lack of shalom bias, that there could be a lack of shalom bias between a husband and a wife, that there could be a lack of shalom bias between children and their parents. That there's addiction in the world, that there's death in the world, that there's tragedy in the world. Who could ever run such a project? Who would run such a project? And if you stare too long at the chaos of the world Most of us in this room are afraid. Maybe I'm going to come to the conclusion that the answer is nobody.
Because if there was somebody running the show, then they're terrible at it. Because if you're going to stare at the chaos of the world, you're going to ask the question why. And if you ask the question why, there's only one thing I can promise you: you will never get an answer to that question. The Rebbe that I learned smicha under His name is Rav Kershenbaum. He's a very special person. When I was learning smicha, Rav Kershenbaum's mother passed away. And I went to pay a shiva call with a couple of the chavurah that were learning smichol. We went out to Brooklyn. We walked into Rav Kirschenbaum's house. And I saw in his look that he was very agitated. I saw the look on his face; he was very unsettled. And it wasn't like it was the first day of shiva. We didn't go right away. We went a couple of days in.
But I saw it. It was like something had really bothered him. Now I hope that in your lives you don't sit shiva until you're much older. But if you do know people who said shiva, I'm telling you right now People say very silly and foolish things. Everyone who said shiva has some story of people that just couldn't keep their mouth shut. I'm sitting there not saying a word. That's the halacha. You wait to be spoken to. And Rav Kirschenbaum shared with us that some fake mekubbel had just come in. To pay him a shiva call And he sat down. Literally, just minutes before we came in And he said to Rav Kershimbaum Do you want me to tell you why your mother died? And Rav Kershimbaum looked at him And he said to him, "If you can tell me why this blade of grass is growing" You could tell me why my mother died. But you have no idea why this blade of grass is growing.
You have no idea why any blade of grass is growing. None of us have any idea as to why anything happens in this world. And then he kicked him out of the shiva, and we walked in like three minutes later. Worst timing. He was so upset, and rightfully so. To attempt to answer the question of why chaos exists, if you're looking at your life and you've experienced any pain, or if you're looking at this nation or if you're looking at your community. And you want to know why anything happened I'm telling you right now that question has no answer. And it leads to a very dark place because either you say there is a cruel God Or you say there's no God at all. Either there's a God that has no idea how to run this show. Or there's nothing. All there is chaos. You live for 120 years, and then you move on. You return to the dust from whence you came.
Listen to what it means to be a yid. Listen carefully, because it's the secret of how yidden have survived and thrived throughout history. A yid knows how to stare into the chaos. And demand that the chaos end. Ayeid knows how to stare into the chaos and say, "Rebunis Shalom, I believe in you, Ba'amur Shlema." But this darkness cannot be. It makes no sense. I know you are God. I know there's somebody running this show, and I know this is not the way the show is supposed to be run. So I will stand here, staring into the face of this chaos, demanding to see somehow who is running the show. I refuse to believe either one of those things. A Yid says I won't live with logic; I'll live beyond logic. Logic tells me there's either no God or an evil God. But somehow, intuitively inside of me, something in me says there is a God.
And he is good. And I have no idea how that's possible. And that obligates us to act. A yid knows how to walk down the streets of Yerushalayim and see somebody who lo alenu is suffering and doesn't have a home. And we know how to reach into our pockets and pull out a couple of shekels and, with kindness, say, "Have a good day." A yid knows how to look at people who don't have food for Shabbos. And rather than just going chaval, some people mamash don't have food for Shabbos. A yid knows how to start Tomchay Shabbos. A yid knows how to participate in Tomchay Shabbos. A yid knows that to be close to Hashem means that I have unflinching faith in His goodness. And until I can see that goodness, I stare into the chaos and say, Rebbe Nachman, I'm going to act as I know You really are. I'm going to act in a godly way, and this is not godly.
So I'm going to join Tomchei Shabbos, and I'm going to pack boxes, and I'm going to deliver boxes at three o'clock in the morning when nobody in the world can see it so that I don't embarrass anybody. And I'm going to drive that person to High Lifeline, and I'm going to drive that person to Sloan Kettering to get their chemo, and I'm going to take care of their children when nobody else is around to take care of their children. When their husbands go off to war, I'm going to bring them food. I'm going to bring food to those families, as the yeshiva did for the entire time that the Meretz families were fighting. And we pay Shiva calls And we learn in their shuls And we stare unflinchingly into the chaos of this world. It takes unbelievable courage. It takes even greater faith. Rabbi Jonathan Sachs Zecherin Levracha, says over a var from of Salavetchik.
You say it when you bench. I was young, and I was old, and I never saw a righteous person be abandoned, and their children don't have bread to eat. Fracture of Zalivetsik. What? You were young and you were old, and you never saw a righteous person suffer. You never saw somebody whose children were abandoned and they went hungry. How could that possibly be? Moshe Rabbeinu asked the Kasher Abanishalom. Why do bad things happen to good people? Cesar Salivichik, most unbelievable, incredible words. Narayisi, I was young; Vegamzakanti, and I was old. Veloyrayisi, and I never stood by and watched as a tzaddik was abandoned and his children went hungry and didn't have bread to eat. Not Viloi Reisi and I never saw it. Every one of us in this room has seen it. Viloi Reisi and I never stood by and watched. I stood in that Beer Dolekas. I stood in that palace on fire, and I kept saying over and over again, "Who's the Balabira? I want to know who the Rosh Yeshiva is. I want to know who's the owner of this palace. This makes no sense." Avram Avinu stood at that chaos of that fire. That is the entire world, and he said, "I refuse to move."
That's what it means to be a Yid. To be a yid means I refuse to move. And if it's not good, then it's not godly. How could it be that the world is in such pain? I was very lucky. I continue to be lucky, but I was very lucky. I was blessed as a child. Exceptionally blessed. I wish all of you had this blessing, and I bless you that you should have this blessing. It's the most unbelievable blessing. I got expelled from school in fifth grade. That wasn't the blessing. The blessing was that after I got thrown out of school A very big tzaddik Whose name is Rabbi Yaakov Bender Shlitah, the Rosh Yeshiva of Darche, took me into Darche. It's unusual to get thrown out of school and to get taken in. It's unusual now, but back in the day, it was actually quite common. Back in the day, if somebody had to be thrown out of school, they ran to say, let's help this kid. I got thrown out of school. I was so lucky. Rabbi Bender picked me up.
I was in Darchei for fifth, sixth, and seventh and eighth grade. Every Friday, the Rosh Yeshiva would give a shmuuz to the yeshiva. Every Friday, we'd pack in the last half hour, forty-five minutes before school was out on Friday, and Rabbi Bender would give us moser, and it was great. Even as a little kid, it was so great. I knew it was great. And there were themes. Rabbi Say themes. It's 35 years later. I could still tell you those themes. At the end of every year, he would say, "Take your rebbe in your pocket." Whatever you're going to do over the summer, take your rebbe in your pocket. Think about what your rebbe would say if he was in this moment. You remember the "Take your rebbe in your pocket" shmuz? He's been saying it for 35 years at least. Every year at the beginning of the year, he would tell the story of Yosel the Holy Miser.
Beautiful story. Could I share it one day? Every single time Rabbi Bender would say, "Count your blessings." Rabbi said, "I remember the shmoozin', every one of them." One shmooz over and over again. Any single time tragedy strikes in the Five Towns community, Rabbi Bender gets up in Darche and he says the same shmooz. Rabbi said, "I could say it a million times" And still wouldn't be as often as I've heard it from Rabbi Bender. Whenever tragedy strikes, he says the same shmooz. Ravoy said, "We have to be noiser ba'olim chaveru." We have to feel the pain of our brothers. At some point, eschatay ani maskir. At some point in my educational career Maybe I was in my twenties. Maybe I was in my early thirties. At some point, I had a kasha. When am I going to hear a new shmuz? When am I going to hear a new shmuz, Rabbi? You have so many shmuzin to give. When am I going to hear a new shmuz? Same shmooz over and over again. How long am I supposed to listen to the same shmooz? Baruch Hashem, I got a little bit older. I finally figured out it's the words of the Ramchal.
The truth is obvious, but you have to say it over and over again because otherwise you'll forget it. Because it's so easy. It's so easy to hear that another soldier was killed. It's so easy to hear that there's another widow. It's so easy to hear that there's more orphaned children because we hear it so often. How can I care about everything? So instead, I don't care about anything And I'm not no se ba olam chaveru. Because I got up today and I had a regular day, and there are kids sitting shiva. So it finally occurred to me why the Rosh Yeshiva always says no se ba olam chaveru. Because if he doesn't say it over and over again We're gonna walk away from that bira dylekas. We're gonna walk away from that palace that's on fire, and we're gonna say chaval. We're going to shrug our shoulders.
There either is no God or there's a cruel God. But we won't hold on with great faith and great conviction to say there is a Rebbe Nisolam and He is good. And until I can see His goodness, I will act in the way that He wants me to act in this world. If you're reading the Medrash carefully, Rabbi, say an unbelievable thing happens. I love you for taking notes. You shall know. I'm Mamish. Love you for taking notes. I know that you soak in every word. I know that you would soak it in even if you weren't taking notes. You should know. Just to look at you gives me such a knot to see the bentaria you've become. Ma'amishmina, I'm ma'amishmina. I see the way you take it in. You most guys don't know. You come to me afterwards, questions, Rabbi. How could it be? You're a very deep person. You should know. It's seen. It's obvious. If you stare unflinchingly into the palace If you have.
That deep emuna inside of you that you've accessed And you go out to help another yid Hakadosh Baruch Hu sticks his head out of the window. Chaver Avram Avinu didn't become Avram Avinu because he was a great philosopher. He was a great philosopher. That's not why he became Avram Avinu. Avram Avinu did not become Avram Avinu. I know everyone's going to say to me, Rabbi, what about the Kesef Mishnah and the Rambam, and I'm holding in everything. I understand. Listen to the words of the Maggid. Avraham Avinu didn't go through every single calculation logically to prove that there was a rebanishtam. He had all of that also. That's not the beginning of what it means to be a yid. Perhaps those things came afterwards. One cannot logically grasp Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The human mind is not capable of understanding the infinite. How does a yid grasp Hakadosh Baruch Hu? It can only appear to him.
If you live a life of unbelievable emuna. If you live a life of unbelievable chesed If you refuse to say the pain of the world is chaotic, I know there's a rhyme and reason, even though I will never know what it is. The Rebbeinu Shlomo will appear to you in your life. There are people that are great philosophers. What I'm about to say is not nice, but it needs to be said. You can even be a very big tamuacham. But it doesn't mean you'll have a kesher with the Rabbani Shalom. You could be a professor of Rashi. I've met many professors of Rashi in my life—great academic scholars who could tell you all the different places where Rashi used the particular word. But if I had a choice If I had a choice between that guy who knows every Rashi and he's a great scholar of Rashi and he's in the fifth floor library and he could tell you every single manuscript Or the simple yid that perhaps knows very little, but he knows how to say Tehillim when somebody else is sick.
And he knows how to cry with somebody else when they're in pain. And he knows how to give when he has something in his pocket that needs to be given. I promise you That simple yid who may not have ever opened up a Rambam in his life and may not know who Rav Chaim Brisker is. My money's on him. That's the yid I want to be. And it doesn't mean that you don't know the Radvayim, and it doesn't mean that you don't know the Rambam. In fact, it's just the opposite. It's Torah's Chesed. If you want to know the Rambam, and you want to know the Radvayim, and you want to know Roshimin's Kasha on Radvayim, and you want to know the Chazanish on the Radvayim. If you're really talking about licking and learning and staying in the Beit Midrash till twelve o'clock at night, if you want to fall in love with Hashem's Torah.
I'll give you the Eitzah. You don't need to be brilliant. I've seen guys that were mamish, not brilliant, become real talmidei chachamim, and I've seen guys that were brilliant become nothing. The secret is not hasmoda. The secret is chesed. Hasmoda comes from chesed. If you care enough about the rebbeinisholim's world to get involved when chaos is happening, I promise you, you'll find your way to the beis medrash. And if Chesed isn't leading you to the beis medrash, then you're not doing Chesed right. There's a line that I heard many times from my Rosh Yeshiva, from Rabbi Bender. He says it all the time, and I said it a lot last year, and I'll say it a lot this year because it requires Chazara. Otherwise, we'll forget. If you can't close your Gemara to help another Yid, then even when your Gemara is open, it's really closed. And if you can close your Gemara to help another Yid, then even when your Gemara is closed, it's really open.
That should be on every single person's makom. Torah's Chesed, and then like the Rambam says, I have to close my Gemara to help another Yid. V'chayzer li l'mudo. If you really did it l'shem Shamayim, you run back to the base measures. You run back to open up the Gemara. Because our rice of vechutcha brichu v'yisrael chadu, because there's an infinite essential connection that exists between every yid, the rebbeinu shulman is taira, and I can't split between them. If you can walk by in the dorms, a guy who's struggling in the dorms And you could say, "But I gotta go to seder," when you see that guy and he's down and out You're not accomplishing anything in seder that day. Why do you think you walked by him? Why do you think Rabbi Benis Shlom with his Ashkacha practice in that moment said that that boy should be in that place and that you should walk by? You walk by to help him, And it's right there. It's right there if you're willing to look. The homeless guy in the streets of Yerushalayim—that's very dramatic.
But how many people are sensitive to the guy who's walking around Yeshiva? And he doesn't have anything special on his face, nothing that tells you out of the ordinary that he's struggling. But if you pay attention and have a heart You'll see it in his eyes. You'll see it in his eyes. It's not so hard to spot. People say, "How could I know?" It's not so hard to spot. There's a beautiful story that the Rebbe of Zusha said over. The Rebbe of Zusha said, "I know how to love. I learned how to love from two drunk Russian peasants." Two drunk Russian peasants were sitting in a bar. Igor and Sasha. And Igor said to Sasha, "Sasha, you don't love me." And Igor said Sasha said back to Igor, 'I said, what are you talking about, Sasha? We know each other since we're kids. I love you.
I mamish love you. You don't love me. Is it what you're talking about? I love you. We spent our entire lives together. We lived in the same town. We drink the same schnapps. We do everything together. What are you talking about? He said, "you don't love me." He said, "How could you say I don't love you?" If you love me Tell me what I'm looking for right now. Tell me what I need right now. Tell me what I'm missing right now. If you love somebody, you're paying attention and you know that they're struggling. That's what it means to love. To love is and have is to have an ESP. Something is wrong in their life. I know something is wrong. They're not saying anything, but I know it. How many guys in Yeshiva have said that? How many guys have walked over to a rebbe in this yeshiva and said, "I know he's not saying anything," and I asked him, and he's fine. But I'm telling your rebbe, he's not fine. Something's going on with him.
If you're a guy who asked your rebbe that question, you're a sensitive Jew. You'll be a real tamalchachem one day. You'll be a great husband. You'll be a great father. Kol d'baruch who appears to you Not because you went to some hashkafish here. Not because a rebbe proved to you that Hashem exists. All those things are very beautiful. I'm not being mezalsel in them. I'm just telling you this: if you go to that shear and you walk away going, 'Whoa, I can't believe it! I never thought of that before. This rebbe is brilliant.' It was unbelievable. He, I never thought of it that way. I saw the depth of all the Torah. In two or three years from now, nothing will have come from it. But if you're the guy Who sits in the dorm Or in the chadarocha, or on the basketball court, or in the workout room, or in the music room And you're sensitive—that there are guys in this world going through chaos.
You're him. I know. I'm D1 relevant. On a scale of one to ten, I'm a six or seven. By the way, you should know It was all worth it for the look on Bestie's face just now. The groan. Real deal people care about their brothers. Oylem Chesed Ybano. The Rebbeinu Shlom created a world of Chesed. We're called upon to act like the Rebbeinu Shlom. I say this because we're now in Chayev's month. And people talk about the grind of Chayev's month. People talk about the burnout, the inevitable burnout of Chayev's month. I'm going to give you a tip. I'm going to give you an etzah. If you do this, I can pretty much guarantee you won't burn out. Come on, guaranteed. Make sure you have checked in every single day. I didn't ask Rosh Hashanah. I'm going to embarrass him. I'm going to embarrass him because I'm going to embarrass him.
This is what I do. I've been embarrassing him for years. Every week For years now, you should know, I was very scared. Because Chaim, now he's already holding by Shana Gimel and he's already holding by college. And Chaim said to me in the beginning of the year, he said, "Rabbi, I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it for mishmar." He said, "Chaim, I don't know. I'm going to do mishmar without you. I don't know. I'm going to have mishmar if you're not sitting next to me." So far, Baruch Hashem, we have a mishmar. I don't know how I'm going to have mishmar without Chaim. Because in the beginning of the year, Chaim comes and he goes, Rabbi. How could we set up mishmar to maximize it for the boys? Chaim Messenger is a bentayra because Chaim Messenger set up mishmar, not the opposite. It's not because he stayed in the beis medrash he set up the chairs. He set up the chairs. That's how come he stayed in the beis medrash. Akiva gives out cholent every week. He comes every single week. He sits in this exact chair, and as soon as the place is over, we continue singing. He makes a beeline because he's got to give out shulans.
That's a bentayra. Guys say When can I do chesed? Tuesday afternoons. We're going to Siach Sohud. Chesed is not something that you do when you have an opportunity to do something grand. Chesed is there in every single moment. It's everywhere around you. Oylem Chesed Ybana Torah Chesed. In this yeshiva We're asking you not just to learn Gemara. We want you to learn Gemara. Lots of Gemara. But in twenty years from now I'll know if you're a Ben Torah by the way your wife speaks about you. I'll know if you're a Ben Torah because when your children speak about you, they'll say, 'My father spent his life giving.' That's what I saw in my home. And I'll finish with this: one of my biggest inspirations in the world was my roommate Shana Bed and Mevaseret. And when we were roommates, all I knew about this guy is that he was a giver. All I knew is that anything that anyone needed, he would give.
And he said he was going to become a chiropractor, and it made sense to me that he would be a chiropractor because all he wanted to do was relieve people from the pain that they had in their lives. He became a pain management specialist. And a couple of years ago Not surprising to any of us who knew him My roommate started an organization called DailyGiving.org. And over twenty-five million dollars have been given to tzedakah because of this guy who I was zaychut to have as a roommate and a best friend. It's interesting. Two roommates. And it's funny. It's funny because he says to me, it's like you're the minhal of the yeshiva that we went to, but he has no idea. It was him who was responsible for my growth. It wasn't me who inspired him. It was him who inspired me. Such a personality like that. I want what he has.
And that's what I want for all of you, and that's what I want. That's what it means to be a part of this yeshiva. If you walk out of this yeshiva and at the end of the year you can make a siyum on Sukkah and you know it backwards and forwards, that's great, kalakavod, that's wonderful. But if you tell me, Rebbe, I can make a siyum on Sukkah because I could also make a siyum on my roommate and I could also make a siyum on my chavrusa and I could also make a siyum that I sat with different chavrusa in the chadarom. That I didn't sit with the same group of guys every single day because I was big enough to be out there. I was big enough to say I don't need to sit with the same clique because I know there's guys in yeshiva that are struggling. And I want to sit with those guys and I want to learn the Torah of every one of those guys because every human being is a sugei, and by the way, it's a sugei that you have to learn be'iyu. That's what it means to be a part of our yeshiva. That's what it means to be a ben Torah.
That's what it means to be from the children of Avram Avinu. The sensitivity to stare into the chaos of people's lives and to stay—I refuse to look away. Bez Hashem We should look at every single yid only with kindness, only with goodness in our heart, and only with a desire to reach out to the Rebbeinu Sholm's precious child and say, 'Until the Rebbeinu Sholm reveals himself to you, I'm going to act like the Rebbeinu Sholm.' And in that tzchus, the Rebbeinu Sholm should reveal himself to all of us.
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