Shavuos - Kavod HaTorah

2:52 They were more successful in imparting the value of Torah to the future generations. And those that had Torah as a thing, a nice thing, a thing on a checklist, but something like anything in Yiddishkeit, those that didn't realize the primacy of Torah, they were less successful. The question is, why is that? What is the nature of kavod atayra? What is it that when a community has kavod atayra, when they have centrality in tayra, when it's something that you live by It changes the way you live. But it also changes the way your children grow up, and it changes the way your grandchildren grow up. I want to share with you something that I'm very inspired by. By the way, for those of you that are already doing this, I'm with you. I'm imanafibizara. I've come to learn that when I speak in seminaries, 90% of the work is the temperature in the room. You know what I'm saying? And then it's also the fights about the temperature in the room. Right now we're all too hot, but soon half of you will be too cold, and then a fight will erupt.

3:56 It seems like maybe we've been successful. I want to share with you something that I'm tremendously inspired by. I probably should say this later in the year, but I'm just mamishnas ball from it. I have a seven-year-old son. I have five daughters and a seven-year-old son. Which means that I have six daughters because he's being raised by these very emotionally aware older sisters. He's the girliest little boy you've ever met in your entire life. He comes and goes. Abba, I'm having a feeling. Go outside and play soccer and get hurt. Do something. But he's a good boy. He's a good boy. He's seven. What could he possibly be better? One of the beautiful things about raising children in this land is that they speak Hebrew. Which means that at a very young age they can read. They can learn Torah. So my son took upon himself not that long ago, less than a week ago.

5:00 That he wanted to finish Hamishah Chum Shetorah. Now he doesn't really know how to lane, but he pretends to know how to lane. So he knows how to lane whatever his rebbe teaches him in class. He knows how to mimic it. He gets it right about eighty percent of the time. But what's very cute, by the way, if you think I'm doing a good job competing with these, I know I am. If you're paying attention to that, so am I. My ADHD kicked in about three hours ago, so I'm toast. My son decided he wanted to make up on himself to finish Hamishachom Shetara. He wakes up at seven o'clock in the morning. He doesn't have to go off to school till about eight o'clock in the morning. He wakes up at seven o'clock in the morning. He takes a chumash and starts leaning. He has no idea what he's leaning, but he starts leaning.

5:48 And he's reading And he finishes chumash berachos. All of chumash berachos And he says to me, Abba If I finish Hamishachom Shetara. Will you take me and Miriam, his nine-year-old sister? Will you take us bowling? So I thought he was going to ask me for much more. I was ready to add chatzia amalchos. Tell me what you want. So I said, of course. That was four days ago. He's now holding halfway through Bamidbar. This morning when I left, he was halfway through Bamidbar. He's sitting for hours and he's just reading. How much does he understand? I don't know. But for a seven-year-old. To understand that it's been imparted to him by his mother. That a seven year old understands that this is the most important thing in the world. It's not It's not a small thing. It's something that every one of us wants to gift to our children.

6:45 So how do we do that? What's the avirah in the home that creates such a child? What's the avirah that creates such a child? I want to read to you a medrash that we all know. Everyone knows this medrash. There's a Gemara in Avodah Zara, also 2B, that mentions not exactly like this, but sort of like this. I want to read a Medrash that everyone in this room knows. Byomer Hashem Mitzrayim Ba. What does it mean? Hashem came from Sinai. Listen to the words of the Medrash. They're beautiful words. Keshe nigla, Kadosh Baruch Hu liten tiryah leyisroel, lo al yisroel bal vadhu nigla. When Hashem came to give the Torah to Klal Yisrael, He did not only give the Torah to Klal Yisrael; He also offered it to others. We all know this Medrash. One of those little Medrash says, "We all grew up with this." But how many people have learned the Medrash inside? Listen, unbelievable words of the Medrash.

7:41 Ella al kol umos, He went to every nation. Who did he go to? Tchila halach Eitzel b'nei Esav. First, he went to B'nei Esav. Amar la hem mekablam atem es atayra. You want the Torah? Will you receive the Torah from me? Amr lo, they said to him, Ma kassuf ba? What's written inside of it? What is this Torah you're offering? Amr lehem, Hashem says, Lo tsirtzach, don't kill. Amru, kol atzamim shal oisam haanoshim v'aviim reitzayachu. You're coming to us, the bnei Esav, and you're saying to us Take the Torah, be mekabel the Torah. What's in it? Don't murder. We are murderers. Our father Esav was a murderer, so it's not shayach to us. Halach Eitzel Bnei Ammon Umoav. So Akol Shbaruch continues on his way. He's been rejected by Bnei Esav, the vulnerability of dating. He's been rejected by Bnei Esav. He goes to Ammon and Moav.

8:41 Amrulahem, mekabel matem esatayra. Will you receive my Torah? So Amruloh, makosuv bas. They said to him, same thing. What's written inside of the Torah? Amr lahem lotinaf. You should not have illicit relations. To Ammon and Moab, girls had Ammon and Moab more. Same story. Amr la kolatsma shal ervelahem. He should not marry. Goes to the whole thing with the Bnei Lot. You're telling us the Bnei Lot don't have illicit relations. Do you know who you're talking to? It's very hot. Just keep the water coming. Do you know who you're talking to? We are. We're literally the product of illicit relations. Hakadosh Baruch Hu's rejected again. Halachets of Bnei Yisrael. So he goes to Bnei Yisrael. Amar l'hem, mekabel matem esatayra. Will you receive my Torah? Amar lomakosulba. They said, what's in it? Amar l'hem lo tignov. Don't steal. Amar lom is kolatsim avivim listim. What do you mean? Yisrael is pera adam. Yisrael is the ultimate thief.

9:44 And Hakadosh Baruch Hu went to every single nation like this. Every single nation he comes to them. They ask him what's written inside of it. He tells them. They reject. I have a question. Simple question. Do you need to steal that badly? Do you need to murder that badly? Somebody comes to you and they say, "I have something for you. I have a gift." What's your initial reaction? If somebody comes to you and tells you, "I have a gift," what's your initial reaction? That sounds like a nice gift. If somebody comes to you only in this country, it's only in Israel. If somebody sees an empty box, you go, that's dangerous. Chefitz chashon. We have to call something. Baruch Hashem, the whole world learned that it's dangerous empty boxes. It used to be that there could be an empty box. It used to be that somebody could come to you and say, here's a gift, and you would say, thank you.

10:37 You girls are probably all chal of Yisrael. Probably never had Hershey Kisses in your life. Never, not once. I grew up. I loved Hershey Kisses. Some people haven't had Hershey Kisses. Good for you. But if you grew up on Hershey Kisses like me, givealik. No. Hershey Kisses are it's a delicious thing. You know how when you open up a Hershey Kiss There's that white powder. There's a little white dusting on top of the Hershey Kiss. If you see that white powder and your first thought is Anthrax. Somebody's trying to poison you. You have deep-seated psychological issues. If somebody hands you a Hershey kiss, what's your first response? Thank you. And I'll live with a little bit of anthrax. That's a Hershey kiss. We're not giving that up. If God comes to you with a Torah and says, "I have the Torah" And you go, 'Whoa, slow. What's in it?' He says, 'Don't kill,' and you go, 'Sorry, I'm out. I got to be killing. It's like that's my thing.' If somebody comes to you and says, 'Don't steal'

11:42 No, you don't understand. I have to steal. Is that worth it to you? Is that worth it that your first thought is, 'Whoa, slow down. I don't think I could handle this,' and your second thought is, 'I'd rather give up a relationship with God that's special and unique because I need to hold on to murder.' There's no society in the world that needs to hold on to murder. Even in America today, where they have these crazy mass shootings, they're constantly talking about it. At least in America, they go. Maybe we should change the Second Amendment. Maybe it's not working. They're at least having that conversation because any normal society understands that murder is bad. But comes along, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to the Beneis Av, and they go, No, sorry, we can't handle that. We are murderers. That's what we do. We're murderers. So give up the murder. You hear the question?

12:29 That's our first question for the night. That was a very professional movie. I want to tell you about two gemaras. Two very strange gemaras. I'm sure you heard of both of them. But two very strange, very beautiful gemaras in their own way. The first gemara is Gemara in Beitzah. Gemara in Beitzah, Chafei Amid Beis. Tana mishmed the reb meir. Nei ma not nitna Torah leyisrael. Why was Torah given to Klal Yisrael? Mei shehin azim. Because we were a brazen people Isn't it? It's true. You ever meet some of us grew up were probably not such tough Jews. I shouldn't. This is terribly racist what I'm about to do, but I don't mean it like this. Who grew up with a Persian father who came from Persia? Your dad's tough. Your dad lived under the ayatollah. This isn't like some New York Jew who grew up in the Five Towns and lived on Central Avenue their whole life.

13:34 Your father grew up understanding I have to fight to be a yid. You should know there's a guy who works in my yeshiva. His name is Avram Chashmal. He's the guy that fixes the electricity. He's a Persian guy. I never knew this about him. A kid in yeshiva. It's an unbelievable thing. A kid in yeshiva. His name was Avi Chayyosha. 16 years ago. Avi Chayoshi came to Mevaseret And he was talking with Avram Chashmal. And Avram Chashmal said to him, "What's your name?" He goes, "Avi Chayoshi." He goes, "Is your dad whatever Chayoshi?" He goes, "Yeah." He goes, "Tell your dad I send regards. He calls up his dad. He says, "I met this guy Avram Chashmal. He knows you." The father went crazy. He said, "That's the guy that smuggled me out of Iran. This guy This guy has whip lashes all over his back because of how many times he was caught. He would get beaten, and eventually he found out there was a price on his head. Then finally he escaped himself and he came to Israel.

14:42 That's a brazen Jew. A Jew who likes growing up on Central. I'm saying we don't know toughness. I grew up on Central Avenue. If you went to Dave's regularly, you're not. I'm saying if you like traditions on Thursday night is a thing you do, you're not a tough Jew. Why did we get the Torah? Tough Jews. Brazen Jews got the Torah. And look what the Gemara says. It says from his right hand went a fiery law. So Amar Hakadosh Baruch Hu, on the one hand, you could say it was appropriate that they got a fiery law. Because they have a lot of faith. These Jews, they're powerful Jews. They have a lot of faith, but look what the Gemara says. Unbelievable Gemara. The Gemara continues. Ikad ha'amri, there are those that say Das seh' elu, aish. Their das is fire. Jews. The reason why they got the Torah is because they're so nuts. Their das is fire. If Torah wasn't given to them, these Jews could have destroyed the entire world.

15:58 You ever hear of a Gemara like this? That the reason we got Taira was because we were so mishugna, so crazy, so brazen, so on fire that we could have destroyed the entire world with our Taira. Without Taira, with Taira it somehow gives us boundaries. With Taira it somehow makes us normal. Without Taira, we're in terrible danger. As I zucked the Gemara, very strange Gemara, but it's not the only Gemara like this. If it was the only Gemara like this, maybe we would say we have to see deeper into this Gemara to see what it means. But the Gemara in Pesach, the Gemara in Shabbos, Pechasim Abayes, tells us an amazing story, also a very wild story. Listen carefully to the story; the details matter. I'm Rav Yishua ben Levi. Rav Yishua ben Levi says, Bishasha ala Moshe l'marom. Moshe Rabbeinu goes up to Shamayim to receive the Torah.

16:53 Girls, how would you? If I stopped right here, how would you have expected it to go? Moshe Rabbeinu goes up to receive the Torah. What would be the next sentence? And he gets it. But no There's a fight. A fight breaks out. The Malachim run to Hashem. Look at the words, amazing words. You know how these rappers today know how to drop a diss track. These guys know nothing. By the way, you like that? Know the word diss track? I'm very relevant. I spend a lot of time with 18-year-old boys. Low key. I know a lot of things. I don't know why I do that. I just think it's funny. Because in my head I'm still 18, so I think it's funny when you think. I'm just saying. Rebbeinu Shlomo, listen to the words of the Malachim. It's such a hard line. Maliud lude isha benenu. What's this son of a woman doing here?

17:49 Meaning, a human being. This person was born. They came up to Shamayim, a Yehud Ishah, a human being could come up here. What's he doing here? Amar L'hen Hashem said lekabel Torah ba. He came to receive the Torah. Amar L'fanav chemda genuzah shegenuzalach tisha me'os v'shivim barba d'iras kaidem shenivra ilim atim evakeish litne labaser v'dam. The Torah that you created, Hashem, 974 generations. Before the creation of the world, you are going to give it to him. This is what the Malachim say, and the Malachim quote the pasuk. Ma endos kites kerenu v'adom kif tivenu. Who is this frail man that you've chosen to remember? That you've chosen to give him your great gift? So who are the Malachim fighting with at this point? They're not fighting with Moshe. They're fighting with Hashem. So you would expect who would respond? Hashem should respond, and he has a very strange response.

18:49 Hashem doesn't respond Himself. Instead, what does He do? He turns to Moshe Rabbeinu and He goes, 'Nu, answer their question,' which is very strange. The Malachim haven't been fighting with Moshe Rabbeinu; they've been fighting with Hashem. But Hashem turns to Moshe Rabbeinu and He goes, 'You fight their battle. You fight this battle. I'm not fighting this battle.' And Moshe Rabbeinu has an unbelievable response. Hashem, I don't want to respond to them because of the fire that comes from their mouths. You know what that means, girls? It means the malachim, when they would be in an argument with Moshe Rabbeinu, these unbelievably high-level malachim, they would burn Moshe Rabbeinu like a dragon. They would burn him up, and he wouldn't survive the trip to Shamayim. So Moshe Rabbeinu says, "I can't. I can't respond. I'm going to lose this argument. They're going to burn me alive." This is what the Gemara says.

19:43 So Amar Lo, Hashem says back. Echoes the kisse kvodi v'chazor lehen shuva. Hold on to the kisse akavod and answer them. Girls, did you play tag when you were a kid? Remember base? You ever see this is my favorite thing when little kids play tag and there's always that one kid that's on the base like the entire. There's that move where he goes like. That's the only. There's some kids, but they're everywhere. But there's always that one kid that's like on the base the entire time. That's what it sounds like when I'm reading the Gemara. This is what it sounds like. Moshe Rabbeinu is afraid. Hashem says, 'Hold on to the Kisei Hakavod. As long as you hold on to the Kisei Hakavod, they can't get you.' And the Gemara continues. The Gemara continues. Rav Nachum says that our Kadosh Baruch Hu spread the Ziv Hashchina over Moshe Rabbeinu like a cloud, so that he'd be totally protected from the Malach. And listen to the argument of Moshe Rabbeinu. Fascinating arguments. An argument for every one of us. You got to lock in to hear this.

20:42 Look what he says. Amr Lefanov Moshe Rabbeinu says, "Rabbi Nachaladim" Torah sh'ata nicely Makzivba The Torah that you gave me, what's written inside of it? Girls, where have we heard those words before? Sounds familiar, no? The other nations of the world said the same thing. Here, Moshe Rabbeinu says, 'Let's look what's in the Torah.' The nations of the world heard, lo tirtsah, lo tignov, and they ran. Moshe Rabbeinu says, 'Let's look at the Torah, see what's in it.' First, he says, "I am the Lord your God who took you out of the land of Egypt." Amar Lahen He turns to Malachim, very dramatic. He now turns to the Malachim, Moshe Rabbeinu. Think of it like a lawyer in a court. He turns to Hashem dramatically. What's written in your Torah? Is it not written, "I am the Lord your God who took you out of the land of Egypt"? He now turns to the angels and he says, "LeMitzrayim, Yeradatem" You guys went down to Mitzrayim.

21:47 Le paro, histabt, histabtam. Were you guys meshubed? Were you oppressed? Were you tortured by paro? Torah, ametay lachem. Why should you get the Torah? Shuv makzivba. He turns to Hashem again. Let's look again. Very dramatic. What's written in the Torah? Lo yi elocha, elokim acherim. You shouldn't have any other gods. He turns again dramatically to the malachim and he says, Ben Hagoyim, atasiruim. Do you angels live amongst the goyim? Do you live amongst the nations of the world? That you need to worry about serving idols, you do not. Again, he starts to it's over and over again. Let's look again. What's written in the Torah? You have to keep the Shabbos holy. You the malachim, you never work. So what do you need a rest from? Shuv makzivah. What's written again? Losisa, masu matan yish ben echem. You guys do business. Shuv makzivah. Kaber es avicha ve esimecha. Honor your parents. Do you have parents? No. Shuv makzivah. Lo tirtzach, lo tinav, lo tignav. Kinei yish ben echem? Yitzahara yish ben echem? Do you have jealousy?

22:59 Do you have a yitzahara? You hear Moshe Rabbeinu's arguments. So Moshe miyad hodulah kadosh baruch hu, and Hashem acknowledged. He said, "You're right." And the Gemara goes on to say that the argument was so powerful that the Malachim started giving brachos to Moshe Rabbeinu, including the Malacham Aves, who told Moshe Rabbeinu, "This is how you survive death." That's what the Gemara says. There's an obvious question about this Gemara. If you look carefully at the Gemara, is Moshe Rabbeinu saying a good thing about Klal Yisrael or a bad thing about Klal Yisrael? He's making an argument. He's saying to the Malachim. You don't need a Torah, after all, you're Malachim. We need a Torah. You know why? Because we live amongst the nations of the world, so we're going to get involved in Avodah Zarah. Because we were slaves to Paro. Because we have a Yitzharah. Because we're jealous. Because of work. Is Moshe Rabbeinu extolling our virtues, or is Moshe Rabbeinu saying these guys they need the Torah? They're pathetic.

24:01 That's what it sounds like. If you actually look at the words of the Gemara. What in the world is this Gemara talking about? Why are these the arguments of Moshe Rabbeinu? So I want to tell you an answer. This is an unbelievable answer. It's a game changer of an answer. For me, when I heard this answer years ago, it changed my life. It's an answer of the Shevi Shmuel. You girls know who the Shevi Shmuel was? One of the great Hasidic masters. He says this answer. It was worthwhile to come to Darkebina for the entire year just to hear the Shevi Shmuel. Without exaggeration The pasuk in Shmoy says, "In the third month after Klal Yisrael left the land of Egypt" They came to Har Sinai. Listen to the next pasuk. This next pasuk makes no sense. They journeyed from Refidim and they came from Midbar Sinai. Girls, where should that have been?

25:02 The first pasuk says they went out of Mitzrayim and where they go Har Sinai. The second pasuk says they went from Refidim. Listen to what the Sheim Yishmol says. What happened in Refidim? Chazal tell us Rafu Yedehem Minatayim. They cleansed their hands. They stopped learning. When they got to Refidim, they stopped learning. And you know what happened? A Malach started up with them. Listen to what the Sheim Yishmol says. What happened in Refidim? Amalek attacked them. Girls, the reason this is so important to me, the reason why I want to share this with you, is because every one of us is living this exact story. At some point, we were on fire. And we were doing great. Do you remember that point this year where you hit your plateau? Do you remember when you burnt out? Do you remember when you said, "I don't know if I could do this anymore"? Do you remember you had those bad days? Do you remember you had those bad weeks? For those of you that had those bad months You hit a point where you're staging and you're doing great, and you're about to get to Kabbalah's Atayra.

26:06 And they said we can't do it anymore. And they got attacked by a Malach. Because they were Raffle Yadei Men Atayra. Listen what the Sheim Yishmol says. It's an unbelievable thing. I'm going to use my words for it. It's not what the Sheim Yishmol says, but I'm going to use my words. Same concept. Imagine a girl She's dating a guy. It's awesome. They get engaged. It's amazing. And now it's three days before her chasna, a week before her chasna, and she starts to shake and get nervous. So she calls up her teachers in Darchebino. She needs the advice. She says, "What do I do?" You have very good teachers here, so the teachers walk you through it. They say, "Is it something about him?" No, he's amazing. So what's the problem? Just some anxiety. And the girl says. I just don't know if I could do this.

27:01 I'm projecting out and looking at everything this is going to take. Am I going to be a good wife? Am I going to be a good mother? Am I going to be capable of juggling all of the things that go into being a Jewish mother today? You start to like panic even as you're talking about it to your teacher. You start to get more panicked and more panicked. He's a great guy, but maybe I'm just not cut out for this. It happens. It's normal. I want you to know I believe in the power of vulnerability, so I'm going to share with you a story. It's not a great story about me, but it is a true story. I married a Darchevina girl, super stock. She only wanted to marry a guy who was sitting and learning. She got me. Sometimes it doesn't work out. Be safe. But I make her laugh, so it's okay. So it's my first. We got married in June. Had a whole summer. I worked in camp. Love working in camp.

27:54 And now it's right before Elul. I'm about to start my first year in Koyol, and it's the night before the first day of Zman. I started panicking. I started, and here I am, married, newly married, three months married, the super star Darkevina girl And I'm freaking out. What's the matter? I don't know if I could do this. I've been learning, Baruch Hashem, it's been going. But like Koyol guy, am I a Koyol guy? It was overwhelming. It was a daunting task. And Baruch Hashem, I was zayechet to Selmar and Kailo for a number of years. Baruch Hashem, and it worked great. But that first night, right before I got there, I doubted myself completely. Total panic attack. Baruch Hashem, my wife, she was trained well here in Darchevina. She was very validating. I really hear what you're saying. I can understand where you're coming from.

28:46 That makes a lot of sense given where you've been. All the said all the right words. I'm a guy, so I was like, "Just tell me what to do. I don't want to be validated." Guess how that worked out in our marriage. It's normal that when you're on the precipice of greatness, the question that you ask yourself is, 'Can I do this?' That's what happened to Klal Yisrael. The last stop before Har Sinai. You know what happened? This Tefucha right now. The last stop before Har Sinai. They said we can't do this. They gave up on themselves. Total despair. And when you're in a state of total despair, who comes to attack you? Amalek, Yitzhar, Shor. Same concept. Amalek comes. Because Amalek comes when you're weak. And Amalek has a voice. I'm sure I'm not the only one in this room that's felt this voice. It's the voice of confirming our inner negative beliefs that we're incapable.

29:41 The belief that the vulnerability of greatness is going to be too much for us to hold. Did you ever? Did anyone here ever get a job offer that they knew was great, but they were like, I don't know if I could do this? You ever get like did anyone offer you like be the division head and you're like I don't know if I could do that? I've always wanted to be but I don't know if I can. A mulek is the voice that says, what if you fail? And especially if you've failed It really stings. I'll share with you my biggest professional failure was exceptionally public. I had a great idea. I still think it's a great idea. You're welcome to steal this idea. I worked in a camp called Simcha Day Camp. Anyone here from the Five Towns? Anyone here from Far Rockaway? So many, many years ago. What's your last name?

30:29 Siegelman. It's a very common name. Many years ago in Simcha Day Camp, I had an idea. What happens to all these third and fourth graders that have never gone to sleepaway camp before? How do they manage in sleepaway camp? It's a good question. So I said, let's start a part-time sleepaway camp in Simcha Day Camp. Darche had dorms, we had a kitchen, we had pools, we had fields. All we needed was to get counselors to sleep over, which we could easily get just by paying them a little bit more money. I said, I'm going to add a whole new revenue stream to Simcha Day Camp. It's going to be incredible. We're going to have the regular day camp, we're going to have a sleepaway camp. I said, we're going to make a Shabbos once a month. It's going to be incredible. I got the best counselors on board. I was going to run the whole thing. Rabbi Bender, Shlita, unbelievable Rebbe of mine. My Rosh Yeshiva, Shlita. He got behind me and he said, "we're in." He gave me a budget. We spent thousands upon thousands of dollars marketing in Mishpacha magazine, the back page, Five Towns Jewish Times, Jewish, all the different Jewish. We were everywhere.

31:27 Three kids signed up for the camp. So bad So bad, and the worst part My name was on every ad. It's like you know something about Jewish ads. I don't know who the graphic designer is that came up with this. But why must our faces always be in circles? I'm talking about. It's the only shape they use. I was a circle on every single Mishpacha magazine for months, and then I had this one. This is great. Then they go like people come over to you with How's the camp going? And you're like, yeah. Nobody signed up. It was a terrible idea. And we lost like thousands of dollars. And I feel terrible because it was like Darche's money, and I'm just totally embarrassed in public. But thanks for asking me how the camp is going. Baruch Hashem, I still had a job. I was able to go back to Simchadei Camp. In the meantime, somebody took the job that I would have had. I got passed over. It was fine. It was perfect. It was exactly what it was supposed to be. I was super embarrassed, and I'll be honest with you, I lost a tremendous amount of confidence.

32:29 It's not easy to fail publicly. The vulnerability of greatness is what if you don't make it. How many people in their careers would love to be number two because number two gives you all the feelings of control but without any of the responsibility of failure? That's what I'm like. I'm the menahalim mabasarei. I want the rishiva to be there forever. I always say when he quits, I'm leaving. I don't want to be number one. Number one is terrifying. What if you fail? This is the way Klal Yisrael felt, like every one of us. Raffle Yedei Menatari can't do it. I'm out. Abale comes and attacks, but that's not the exciting part. Listen to what the Sheini Shmuel says. Unbelievable Shem Mishpachu! I have to read it in Slid. It's this good. This is the tip. You want to know how to survive when you're in those moments of weakness? This is how you survive.

33:17 They had no strength. They were burnt out. They were depleted. And they were not able to stand up. They weren't able to do it. They weren't able to be great. Listen what he says. They just imagined themselves there. Klal Yisrael in refidim, totally burnt out. No excitement for Torah. No chasimus for Torah. How did they save themselves? What was their saving grace? This is what the Hashem Mishmol says. They imagined themselves at Har Sinai. They imagined Kayla Yisubroki and they imagined Moshe Rabbeinu coming down. And they said to themselves, "If we can see ourselves doing it, we'll get there." And that's what the Hashem Mishmol says. The power of imagination. Girls, do you know that the best athletes in the world do this? The best athletes in the world before a game are doing what they're doing. They're thinking to themselves over and over again. They're imagining over and over again in their heads.

34:32 Throwing the winning touchdown pass, hitting that three-point shot as the buzzer goes off to win the game. They imagine all their teammates tackling them. They imagine themselves rounding the bases and that walk-off home run. You know why? Because what you imagine As what the Shem Mishmuel says, becomes your reality. You don't have to raise your hand. I shouldn't say. I'm going to say it, but I shouldn't say. How many people here? Don't raise your hand. Are you a daydreamer? Everyone here is a daydreamer. You don't have to admit it. If you're a daydreamer, I'm a daydreamer. Sometimes when I space out, I find myself thinking about the funniest things. You find yourself thinking like, what would it look like to do this? You ever do that? You ever like imagine yourself like? You just totally. By the way, there was a rebbe in today's staff meeting in Mevaseret. In the middle of the meeting, he was like this.

35:23 He's a very good friend of mine, so I pulled out my phone to take a picture of him. But he saw me do it because I was right across from him. So as soon as he saw me do it, he went like this. But I just want to know what was happening in his head at that moment. By the way, this is what it looks like sometimes if I'm giving sheira in yeshiva. Sometimes you're giving sheira and you just see a guy and he goes like this. I don't know why that is. I don't know what's up and to the right. There's a move where they go. And then, by the way, if you want to know what it looks like when a person snaps out of the daydream, I could show you. It's very subtle. You want to see it? It's like this. Wait, I'll give it. One second. It was like this. That's the whole thing. It's one blink back to reality.

36:12 Daydreaming is exceptionally powerful. In fact, a lot of studies show that very successful people daydream. Because it's the power of imagination. I can tell you right now If you were successful this year in Darchebina, and when I say successful, I don't know what that means, but if you had the year you wanted to have, I can pretty much guarantee you it's because you dreamt this. The way that we're successful is we imagine it, and there are girls, unfortunately, that they imagine themselves, but only adlapo Only this far. I can't imagine myself going further. Sometimes, if you ever have a conversation with a teacher like this, I know it happens outside all the time. A guy walks in, he goes, "Rebbe, I really want to work on this thing, but only to here. I don't want to." The guy sits down. Let's say the beginning of Shalif, and he goes, "Okay, I want to talk about having a successful year. I'm not coming back Shana Beth.

37:07 What's the pshat? What are they doing? They've limited themselves. I'm not saying every guy has to come back Shana Beth, but there's a limitation. There's a dream. That dream had a limit. On the other hand, there are guys. They just dream big. And they get there. How do they get there? Everyone asks the question: How is that guy so successful? You know the answer. He's been dreaming about that for years. And what you dream becomes your reality. How did Kalal Yisrael pull themselves out of the despair? How does that girl who's sitting there and it's a week before her chasla, and she knows he's a great guy, she knows she should be marrying him But lies so she's overwhelmed. She says, "I don't know if I can handle this. And what am I going to do?" And it's too much for me. And she starts to lose faith. And maybe I should pull out, but I can't pull out. It would be very embarrassing. She's going through this whole thing. How do you stay engaged? You know the answer is stop.

37:56 Hit pause, imagine yourself walking down the aisle. Imagine yourself looking at your chassam. Imagine because hopefully you'll marry a normal guy that up until the point that you were walking down the aisle he was saying to him, but when you got there he stopped and he smiled because he's a normal. There are certain seminary clichés. That was one of them. The boys don't do that. In the history of the 16 years that I've been in Mevaseret, I've never had a group of guys go. Also, I've noticed about the seminaries that you girls are very frum about when you say 'Amen.' If I say a shahakol, you get a decent amen. But if I say you should be zayech to find the right one in the right time, it's like thunderous Yom Kippur in Eilat. Oh man, it's unbelievable what fear can do. Jokes. Anyway The if you imagine.

39:12 That moment, and you see your chassan smiling at you. You'll notice right away what starts to happen. You imagine yourself dancing with your friends. You imagine yourself in your first apartment, and you see yourself, and you're calm. You could handle this. You've done this before, and you start, and you say. Then maybe the anxiety piece creeps up. But you know what? And this is something we don't say in 2024. I'll say it in 2024 language. This part of you that's anxious For those in IFS therapy, welcome to my world. This part of you that's anxious can be met with another part called 'I've got this.' And a lot of times we think in our life, if I'm anxious, it's terrible. Anxious is normal. Anxious tells you something big is happening. When something big is happening, you know what we meet that with? I am a capable person. I can imagine myself as a capable person. You know what Klal Yisrael did? You know how they got to Har Sinai because they imagined themselves at Har Sinai.

40:12 And if you imagine yourself doing it, you could do it. Listen to what Moshe Rabbeinu tells the Malachim My Kinder, my Nation. These guys are mamish idolaters. You have to be careful with them. They live amongst the Goyim. They could steal. They could become jealous. They could do Avodah Zara. They work all week. They could get consumed by it. They need a Shabbos. Moshe Rabbeinu is telling the Malachim. That's why we have a taira. Because the nature of taira, and this is what kavod taira means. The nature of taira is that taira could change a person. Taira could change a mesh. You see it every year in yeshivas all over this country. You put a kid down in front of a black amara, he starts to learn, he works hard, and you see a change starts to take place. Of course, it has to be lishma. Of course, it has to be that he's coming from the right mentality. Otherwise taira could be a samamavas. But you see it. A kid who works hard and he puts it inside of himself. He shtaiks, he grows, he becomes a normal person, hopefully.

41:11 Which is not an obvious thing in today's society. That's the nature of Torah. Klal Yisrael was given a Torah because we're the most brazen nation, and if you don't give us a Torah, that brazenness could destroy the entire world. You give us a Torah, and it teaches us how to channel it. Why didn't the nations of the world say this? You know why? Why didn't they say the Torah could change me? I'm a ganef. Bnei Yisav. I'm a murderer. So the Torah will change you. So the Torah will change you. Somebody said you're a murderer. The Torah will change you. I'm a ganef. The Torah will change you. I've been involved in inappropriate relationships. The Torah will change you. Why couldn't they get it? Why did only Klal Yisrael get it? Listen to this unbelievable pshat. Unbelievable pshat. You know why? It doesn't say. It doesn't say. It doesn't say in the medrash. It doesn't say in the Medrash. They asked this nation. You know what it says?

42:07 They asked Bnei Asav. They asked Bnei Lot. They asked Bnei Yisshmo. You know what they said? You know who we are? That's who we are. I'm not just a child of Asav. I have Asav inside of me. I have Yisshmo inside of me. I have Lot inside of me. I cannot change. The Torah can change you, but you need one criteria. You need to believe that you can change. Klal Yisrael and Riphthem said, "We believe that we could change." The Benei Yisrael said, "That's who we are. We can never change." Of course, Torah could have changed them. But the first reaction to change was, "I don't know if I can handle this." Kaviyachol. Sometimes when we're talking to a student, to Talmud, a Talmidah, sometimes we're talking to a student and we say, maybe you could use to see a therapist. Maybe that's something you could use.

43:04 Depending on the girl or boy that you're speaking to, this is often the first reaction. Why is that our gut? Why is it so many times that our gut is to say, I don't want to do that? People think it's the stigma. I don't want to be a person that went to therapy. I don't think that's true. I don't think it's the stigma. You know what it is, especially today. There's no stigma anymore. We can all admit it. You know what the problem is? I'm terrified of that work. I'm terrified of what could possibly be. I'm terrified of the change that could take place in my life. It might be too overwhelming. This is who I am. I'm not going to change. Stop barking up a wrong tree. Stop trying to get me to change. This is who I am. I have a fixed mentality. I'm not going to grow. This is who I am. It's common. We all believe that. Why does Torah make such a difference in a family's life? And if you walk away from this and take this with you, dayenu, this is enough.

43:55 They brought me here today because they want me to say to you something that you already know. Torah should be a central part of your life. I could have given the whole shiur; that would have been the whole thing. Y'all could have gone. We wouldn't have lost as much weight as we lost being in this room for the last forty minutes. The shiur could have been much shorter. You know why we don't? Why isn't it obvious? Who wouldn't want taira as part of their life? Who doesn't want a beautiful Shabbos table? Is there a person in this room that doesn't want a beautiful Shabbos table? Picture it. Picture it now. Don't. You don't have to close your eyes. I don't need to do the cliche thing. But take a second. Think about it. Look at your Shabbos table. You'll be there, sitting right next to your husband. See your kids. See the Shabbos licht.

44:41 There's mischief going on. There's delicious food at the table. People are smiling. People are joking. One kid punches the other kid. The other kid punches the other kid back. And you smile at them and you go, "Boys" Because you don't have my son, right? Boys. But even though you're smiling and you're saying, 'Boys, don't fight with each other,' there's a nachas. Sometimes I see mothers of boys, like boy families and girl families. Sometimes I see the mother of boy families. These hardcore Aretz Yisrael families. There's like eight boys in a row, and each one of them is like taking care of business, that type of kid. And you see the mother, and she's getting on the bus with everybody. She's a tremendous amount of nachas. Look at her face. You've seen her face before. Maybe it's Harry. Maybe she's throwing things on the bus in a stroller and this and that. But you see, there's like a simcha sakhim. I'm with my boys. She's proud of her boys. You see a mother of girls. See my wife; she walks. Those are my girls. Look at them; they're Benai Yisrael. Look how they dress. Look how they act. They're batamit; they're normal. They're not pushing each other.

45:46 You see the mixed families; the daughters are like parenting the boys, rolling their eyes and saying, 'Stop it!' It's a whole different dynamic. Who wouldn't want that? It's not Oyel Ma'abah; it's Oyel Ma'aze. Who wouldn't want such a life? You think the other life is better? You think the other life is better? I promise you, it's not better. It's not better. A life of meaning is worth more than you could possibly imagine. It's worth a lot more than a life of money. A life of meaning, a life of true nachas, is worth everything in the world. Who wouldn't want that Shabbos table? Who wouldn't want a husband sitting at the head of that Shabbos table saying a דבר תורה, where the kids are kind of listening, even though they're only kind of listening. Who doesn't want that Shabbos table? Everyone wants that Shabbos table. Who doesn't want the couch after the Shabbos table?

46:40 Goyim do not know how gishmak a couch is on Friday night. They just don't. It's the same experience, but it's totally different. There's both crashing on a couch, but they're two totally different crashings. The crashing after a suddah, after a Friday night suddah, you see the father. He's got like a safer, but he fell asleep with the safer, and he's snoring loudly, even though he thinks he doesn't snore. You know that father? And the daughters are all laughing. This is not like me. I'm just saying. And the daughters are all laughing because they're like, 'classic that we're trying to have a conversation here and Abba's snoring.' And he wakes up in the middle and goes, 'What? How late is it?' And then he goes upstairs. There's nothing more geschmack than that walk upstairs after you already fell asleep on the couch Friday night. And there's nothing worse than staying on the couch because then you didn't really sleep the whole night. But that sweet spot is delicious. It's ganeden. It's olam azeh. It's not about olam haba. Who doesn't want it? Why do I need to come to Darchebina at the end of the year, a couple of weeks before Shavuos?

47:34 And give you a share on centrality of Torah? Shouldn't it be obvious? You know what the answer is? Because it's terrifying. Because in order to gain something, very often in life, you have to kill something. The word 'decide' means to kill. For example, suicide, homicide, genocide. Side means to kill. If you have five options in front of you and you decide on one of them, it means you killed the other four. There's vulnerability when it comes to a life of Torah because a life of Torah is a life of change. It takes you from being an animal to being a godly person. It means I'm not going to be involved in that undignified behavior anymore. It means that I'm a shuba to something that there's a halacha and I follow that halacha even when I don't want to. It changes me, but it's scary because what do I lose in the process? That could be terrifying.

48:24 But it's also the most empowering thing in the world if you imagine it and believe that you're capable of it. If you want to know. Right now, you all look the same, more or less. I don't mean you all look the same. You all went to Darchebina. You all come from more or less the same type of place. In the different factions of Darchebina, you come from either one place or the other. You come from those two places. You come to Darchebina, and right now the differences seem very small. But you play it out ten years from now, and what appear to be small differences become larger. And ten years after that, and ten years after that. And if you want to know what the differences between those girls that took the messages that they heard here in Darchebina, and twenty, thirty, forty years later they're still playing those messages It's because they believed that they were capable of changing.

49:12 They believed they were capable of becoming godly. I have a joke with my wife. It's not a nice joke, but it's a joke. My wife went to Dar Chibina. She had unbelievable teachers. She had rabbi kurland. She had mrs. Kurland. She had Rav nachman bolman zechar tzadik lavracha. She had Rav orloik shlita. She had amazing teachers. And she got these sound bites, things that she would say, especially in the early years of our marriage. Rav Bolman says, and you know, like it's not nice. You know those strings, like the head of the cow says, like you pull it out and it goes around. So I knew. I never went to Darchevina, but I know exactly what Rav Orloek says. If you want, I can give you all the shmos. And I knew exactly what Rav Bolman said. I knew exactly this teacher did this and this teacher did that. So I knew. How to say something that would get my wife—it was like a prompt. It would get my wife to say that line that she heard in Darkebina.

50:09 So I said, "It's like a vending machine. I get to press a four, and I get my bag of chips, and I get a statement from a Bowman. It was a beautiful thing." It's 20 plus years later. I've been married for 22 years. I still know how to press those buttons, and it still works. What's the pshat? What's the pshat that 22 years later I'm still getting the same schnusen that she got when she was 18, right here in Darkebina? You know what the answer is. Because when she was here, the greatest gift that Darkevina gave my wife wasn't the education; it was the belief that it was possible to make that education a reality. And that's not a belief in Torah only; that's a belief in yourself. The centrality of Torah is obvious. The question is, do we have the guts to believe in ourselves to imagine living a life of Torah?