Shavuos - Taking Responsibility for Being Mekabel the Torah

2:18 Sounds good at first. You start to think about it a little deeply. You start to think. You say, "Wait a second." We know that the Gemara tells us that the Rebbeinu Shalom does not create doubles. Every one of us is unique. Every one of us is a complete individual. Every one of us has a special mission. The Rebbeinu Shalom does not create two people that were ever in the history of the world exactly alike. What does Reb Yosef mean? Were it not for that day, I would just be like everybody else. It's not true. It's not true. You were born different. You were born different than every other person. What does Riv Yosef mean? On Shavuos, I became Riv Yosef. You weren't Riv Yosef before that. You weren't unique before that. What does Riv Yosef mean? Another question: Is Gemara on Shabbos Pechasim Ad Beis? I imagine by now this year, every one of you is familiar with this Gemara. It's a very well-known Gemara.

3:11 We'll move through the Gemara a little bit fast because I assume you're familiar with it. I'll spell out just a couple of the details of the story. The Gemara tells us that when Moshe Rabbeinu ascended to Shamayim to receive the Torah The Malachim were very confused. They said to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, "what's this yelud isha?" What's this Yelud Isha doing here with us? What's the son of a woman doing here with us? I like that lashon Yelud Isha. It's like that. You're the son of a woman. What are you doing over here? So the Hakadosh Baruch Hu said to the Malachim, 'He came to receive the Torah.' So the Gemara says that the Malachim were astounded. Receive the Torah that was created nine hundred and seventy-four generations before the creation of the world. You are going to give it to him. Ma Enosh Kites Kerenu, who is this frail man that you've chosen to remember him? That you've chosen to give him the Torah?

4:04 So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to meisharbeinu, no, meishar respond. What are you going to answer them? Meisharbeinu says, I would answer them, but I am afraid of the fire that's going to come from their mouths. I am afraid they're going to burn me up. Sakalish Baruchu says, "Hold on to the kiseh akavod, and then you could answer them." Moshe Rabbeinu reaches onto the kiseh akavod. It's always a strange Gemara, right? It's like remember when you were a kid, you're playing tag. So there was base. Like if you're on base, so they can't touch you. Sounds like the fire that's going to come from the Malachim's mouths. It's okay, Moshe Rabbeinu is holding onto base. He's holding onto kiseh akavod. Malachim can't touch him, and he starts to answer their questions. We're not going to go through each one, but basically, Moshe Rabbeinu discusses how the Torah was written for us. The Torah was written for a frail man. We have jealousy.

4:46 We have business. The Torah tells us how to conduct our lives. The Malachim were blown away by these answers. They started showering Moshe Rabbeinu with brachos, and that's how the Gemara ends. This is how Moshe Rabbeinu received the Torah. It's a very, very strange story. So many of the aspects of this story are strange. I just want to highlight a couple of them to maybe give a new pshat in this Gemara. What's this? What's this lashon of Yehud Isha? What were they saying? You're the son of a woman. Like, what does that mean? What were they trying to say there? And what was Moshe Rabbeinu like, afraid of the fire that was going to come from their mouths? And if he holds on to the kisse akav, he's going to be protected. What's the whole tirah that's going on over there in that Gemara? Let's try to explain it a little bit deeply. So we have so far just to Ruchazer very quickly. What's the pshat in Shvuas that even Rabbi Yehazar would agree? Even Rabbi Yehazar would agree that it has to be partially for you. What's the pshat in Rabbi Yosef saying 'Elav Hayoma Kamei Yosef Ika Bashuka'? You were an individual from the moment you were born. What's the pshat in this strange Gemara, this Agadah that's giving us all these different imagery? We know that the Torah identifies every yontif with a chelak of the agricultural cycle.

5:53 Pesach. Is the zman where it's the sprouting of the grain Shvuas is the time where it's the cutting of the grain, and ultimately Sukkot is where we gather in the grain. Pesach and sukkus make sense. Pesach and sukkus make sense. Pesach is the birth of Klal Yisrael. It makes sense that the agricultural cycle identified with Pesach would be the sprouting of the grain. Sukkus is Klal Yisrael coming to. Enter into Eretz Yisrael. It makes sense that we're gathering in the grain in that moment. We're bringing the grain into the silo, just like we bring the grain into Eretz Yisrael. It seems to be very similar. Shvuas is strange. What does Shvuas have to do with the cutting of the grain? Why is Shvuas identified with the cutting of the grain? So I want to answer all four of these questions with one answer. There's a duality at play here.

6:50 The duality is as follows: Who's in charge? Who's in charge in this world? On the one hand The Rebbeinu Sholom is in charge. Rebbeinu Sholom takes care of this world, the Zashkacha practice. The Rebbeinu Sholom is involved in every moment of this world. So the Rebbeinu Sholom is in charge. But on the other hand We're told we have a chelak of responsibility in this world That we're meant to do something in this world. And actually, we live in the balance of these two things. You go too much to one side or too much to the other, and it's very dangerous. "I'm in charge of this world, I got it," and they ignore the Rebbeinu Shalom, you're a balgiva. You're a balgiva. You're ignoring the Rebbeinu Shalom. On the other hand If a person leaves everything up to Hashem, they say Hashem has it. So then, what are you doing with your life?

7:41 So we live in the tension of these two things. On the one hand, there is a rabbanissholom. On the other hand, we have achrayas. Another way of thinking about this is as follows: When a sprout is sprouting from the ground, when a seed is just beginning to take its root and it's coming up We're not doing anything in that moment. We're not doing anything. That's all the rabbanissholom. A farmer knows that when he sees the seed sprouting from the ground, that's all the rabbanissholom. That's the birth of the seed. It's like Pesach. We didn't come out of Pesach. We didn't come out of Mitzrayim on our own. That was the Rebbeinu Shalom. But there is a moment when every single Jew has to move from the sprouting of the grain to the cutting of the grain. There is a moment where you take Achrayus. There is a moment where you no longer say it's the Rebbeinu Shalom seed. The Rebbeinu Shalom will make it grow.

8:36 The Rebbeinu Shalom made it grow. Now it's your Achrayus to take that seed and cut it. And you're now responsible for turning that grain into something. That's Shavuos. Shavuos is not Pesach. Pesach is all from Hashem. Shavuos is a yid takes responsibility for the taira in this world. The Rebbeinu Shlom comes and he says, "I'll give you the taira" But there's only one chelak of it. I'll give it to you But you also have to take it. It's up to the Rebbeinu Shlom to give. We're not in control. But it's up to you to take it. It's up to you to be a balachrayas for Taira. People do a funny thing in this world. They say I have emuna. And they abdicate themselves from their responsibilities in this world. Fakert If you have emuna, if you have real emuna That means you have responsibility. That means the Rabbanim Shalom created you in this moment to take charge of whatever is happening.

9:36 That's what it means to be makabel the Torah. To be makabel the Torah doesn't mean that you get to sit there passively and just receive. The Rebbeinu Sholom gives you have to open yourself up. There's an avoda to receiving the Torah. Can't sit passively in your life. Guy comes to yeshiva. There's all the opportunities in the world to shteik. He comes and he says, "if it happens." He sits back and he lets. He says, "Look, if something happens in yeshiva, that'd be great." It's not enough. The Torah is here, waiting to be taken, but you have to take it. I remember I went many years ago with a dear chaver of mine. We would run on Motzei Shabbos of Shabbos Shuva. As soon as Shabbos was over, we would run. We would get in the car and run to Woodmere so that we could be in Eish Kodesh, the first people right after Shabbos, because Rav Weinberger's Shabbos Shuva drasha was so powerful that if he would give it on Shabbos, it would be chaval because so many people would miss it.

10:34 So he used to give the Shabbos Shuvah drasha. Not on Shabbos, he would give it on Motzei Shabbos. Everyone would pack in; it would be crazy. We would run right after Shabbos so we could get there. We wanted to get good seats. It's like you go to the movies. You don't go to the movies late. You go to the movies early. You want to be there for the previews to make sure that you get the good seats. So we came to get the good seats. Same thing with shachars. You don't show up to the shachars on time. You show up to the shachars early. You put your talis and tefillin on. You have to be there for the previews. We got there. I remember we had great seats and I'm sitting with my buddy. And Rav Weinberger gets up there. I'll never forget this. He sits back as a joke. He sits back and goes, "All right, Weinberger, inspire me." I was like it was just so off. It was like he could have gone to mass. It was so off. It was like such an off thing to say.

11:20 What do you mean? Weinberger, inspire me. That's not the way inspiration works. Inspiration is you show up, you get great seats, and then you do the avoda of opening your heart. As the Rebbe speaks and allowing the words to penetrate into your soul, and then you take it and you turn it into something real, and you turn it into an avodah, and you make something of yourself. You take achrayus Emuna doesn't mean I get to sit back. Emuna means I get involved. That's real emuna. Hakadosh Baruch Hu sees Moshe Rabbeinu, and the malachim see Moshe Rabbeinu coming up to receive the Torah. The malachim say Who's this yelud isha? Who is this person, born of a woman? You know what they were saying. Really, you're going to give Torah to him? He has a beginning. He has a beginning. Something gave birth to him, and you know what? Everything has a beginning, ultimately has an end.

12:18 You're going to give Torah to him? He came here to receive the Torah that was created 974 generations before the creation of the world. It's a spiritual Torah. What in the world does it have to do with Meisher Abenu? Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to Meishar Habenu, answer them. He says, I can't answer them; they're right. Torah is a spiritual zach. Torah is a spiritual thing. I can't, I can't answer them; they're right. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to him, the biggest mussar in the world Meishar Habenu Grab the kiseh hakovod. It wasn't a base thing; it wasn't like tag. I am holding on to the base. He's telling a Meishar Habenu, be a balach raius. You want to be makabul the Torah, go get it. It's right here. The Torah is here for your taking. You have to reach up and grab the Kisei Hakavod. I can't answer the Malachim for you. It's your responsibility to answer them. If you answer them, it'll be your Torah. Moshe Rabbeinu holds on to the Kisei Hakavod, and all of a sudden he has the best answers, and he's flooring the Malachim with his answers. And the Malachim are so unspoil they end up giving him brachos. Why?

13:18 Because he took Achrayus. Because he said yes. I might be mortal. I might be finite. I might have a beginning and an end. But I'm a Bal Achrayus. I take responsibility. I'm not sitting here passively. I run to the beis medrash. I can't. It's hard. Rabbi Gamar is hard. You're right. Gamar is hard. You're right. Gamar is hard. It's hard to translate. It's hard to punctuate. It's hard to vowelize. And even if you know all those things, it's hard to sometimes get shot. It's hard to understand what the rishonim are doing. Sometimes I don't know the background information. I don't know Tanakh. I don't know Mishnah so well. So I'm not sure what's going on in the Gamar. I'm not so good at Lumbas. There are people that sit there and go, all the problems. I'm never going to get good at this. And nothing ever becomes of them. There are some people that say, "Taka, it's hard to translate. It's hard to punctuate. It's hard to vowelize one line at a time, and I'll be great one line at a time. I take achrayas one line at a time. I take achrayas. I don't understand shir. I'm chazaring shir. I'm taking notes."

14:19 This is not. I'm not here to talk to you about the chashivas hatorah." I'm here to talk to you about the midah of taking responsibility for your life Not being passive. You have a million shmuzin in yeshiva, but chasivas atayra. I've never given one of them my mishmar. I'm talking about something that's even more primary than chasivas atayra. It's your ability to receive the atayra. It's your ability to sit down and actually learn. There's a famous line in yeshivas: In order to be a rasha yeshiva, you need two things: you need a rosh and a yeshiva. You need to have a good head, and you need to be able to sit. I want to tell you I disagree with this line. I've seen many people become great, and they didn't have the best heads for learning, but they knew how to sit. They knew how to plug. They had a better yeshiva than they had a rosh, and they became great because of it. Many, many years ago When I was zaychad to be in Ruparnishli to Sheer So there was a guy in Sheer who did not have a good rosh. He didn't have a good head. He was not naturally built for lumdas, not naturally built for learning. But the guy was a plugger.

15:21 And my rebbe would say to me every night when we were learning, 'No, Mordechai, maybe get him to go to a different shear. He has no idea what's flying in our shear. Get him to go to a different shear.' I said, 'Rebbe, he works so hard. I can't tell him to leave.' My rebbe said to me, "He said, Mordechai If he's working so hard, let him be matsliach. Let him go to a shiur that's more appropriate for him. I said, 'Rebbe, all he wants is to be in your shear. I can't tell him to leave. Back and forth. And I never was maskim to my rebbe. Guys, I have to tell you, I was mavato myself to my rebbe a hundred percent.' On this one, Nakuda, I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and my Rebbe was getting frustrated at me. One night we were learning And my Rebbe said, "Mordechai, I have to tell you something unbelievable. This boy asked an unbelievable question in She'er today." I said, 'Wow, that's amazing.' He told me the question. It was Taka, a very good question. A week later, he said, 'Mordechai, you're not going to believe it. He asked another very good question in She'er today.'

16:14 And as time went on, this boy— I can't tell you—became the top of the She'er. He became a very fine lamdan. He knew what was flying. He knew how to ask a kasha, and he knew how to give a decent terez. He wasn't naturally that bright. But he took achrayis for himself. He was a mevaseret boy. He took achrayis for himself. He knew how to do hard work. He knew how to get up in the morning and put in a hard day's work. People make excuses in life. I can't do it because of this. I can't do it because of that. Winners don't make excuses. They show up and they put in the work. They're bale achrayis. Riv Yosef meant when he said 'Ilav Hayoma Kam Yosef Ika Bashuka.' He didn't mean Torah made him an individual. He was an individual from the moment he was born. I want to say a chiddush. I think it's true. I think it's a good chiddush.

17:02 You know what Riv Yosef said? "Ilav Hayoma." Were it not for that day, I would have been another guy walking through the shuk. I would have been another guy purchasing goods at the shuk, or maybe I would have been another guy selling things at the shuk. But because of Matan Torah, it's my shuk. I own the shuk. I own every vendor in every stall. I own all of it. It's my shuk. The shuk is a marshal for the world. It's my world. A yid looks at the world and he says, "It's my world." And I was put here to conquer it. I was put here to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into the world. Some people are consumers. They come to the world and they're here just to take. So what can I do? I don't control the world. What can I do? I don't control the world. He says, "It's my shuk. It's my world. I can make this world into anything that I want it to be. I can make this world a more godly place. A person could show up to the world today and they could say, 'I'm going to turn this world into a godly place.' Rabbi, do you know what's going on in the world today? The world is so low. The shmuts is so thick. There's such filth in the world. I'm going to make the world into a godly place. It's excuses."

18:12 A yid knows that he's the light, and the light is not afraid of the darkness. A yid takes achrayas. If there's a dark place, I'll illuminate it. They take responsibility. That's what Shvus did. Shvus is Hakadosh Baruch Hu passing the baton to us. Here's the Torah. Will you take it? It's your Torah. Will you take it? It's your Rashi. It's your Tosfos. It's your Rambam. Or will you abdicate your responsibility? This is why the Gemara says Shvus is different than every other yontif. Even according to Reviel Ezer Reviel Ezer says Yomtiv is either Kulo Hashem or Kulochem. But there's one Yomtiv that it needs to be about you. It has to be at least partially about you. That it can't be Kulo Hashem. That Shvuas, because the most spiritual thing in the world is for a Yid to say, Hineini. I'm here. I showed up. I'm a Chelak in Shvuas. I have a Chelak in Shvuas. It's not the Rebbe and Shlom's yontif exclusively. It's my yontif too. I'm here to grab Kabbalah shtayirah.

19:12 Beez Hashem, this Monday night We're all going to. It's a Sunday night rather. We're going to be sitting in yeshiva and we're going to be studying in the beis medrash, and the rebbeim are going to talk to you about Asma'da b'Li Batalla and signing up for the sheets and sitting in the beis medrash and pounding away. And beez Hashem, it's going to be beautiful. And beez Hashem, we're going to have a beis medrash full of guys that really have a shvus like they've never had before. This is not where you come from. This is not going to be the crazy carving station, sushi station, ice cream station. This is not what our shvus is about in yeshiva. Our shvus in yeshiva is about sitting and learning. But I want to tell you, it's much deeper than that. This shvus, which is kemit the culmination of our year here in yeshiva This shvus is going to be about seeing every single guy in this yeshiva take achrayus for themselves.

20:01 How much learning you do, and at what level you do—that I don't know. But a guy who came to yeshiva this year says, "I don't know. I'm not so down." I'm not down for it. You're not taking achrayus over your yiddishkeit. You're not taking achrayus. This past Shabbos, I had the schuz to go to Toronto. I have to tell you, I didn't know what Shabbos was going to be like. It was one of the most beautiful Shabbatzos of my life. As a chevra of guys, I was blown away by them. A chevra of guys, many of them my age. And during COVID, they made their own minion. And there were things about the minionim that they were davening it beforehand that they didn't like And when they made their COVID minion, they really found their niche and they took achrayas so they started a shul And these guys, I have to tell you, they're stigen They're stigen They're stigen. I saw it in their eyes.

20:57 They wanted a chassidus shear before davening. They wanted a shiur. They wanted a drasha after davening. They wanted a shiur after kiddush. They wanted a shiur by shalosh shudis. These guys were unbelievable. They were on fire. You look at these guys. They're taking achrayas. They could have sat back in their community in Toronto and said, "No, it's not perfect." But they said, "We're relentless. We're fierce. We're ferocious about building the yiddish kite that we want. Our children should have a shul to grow up in, where they see parents who are really working on themselves." And I want to tell you the highlight of my Shabbos. The highlight of my Shabbos was Matzah Shabbos. This amazing person Amazing person. He heard about what's happening here in yeshiva. And he said to me after Shabbos, he handed me a check, a five figure check. Hands me a check. I didn't ask him for a donation.

21:50 He hands me a check and says, "Here." This to take care of certain things in the yeshiva. This to take care of certain things in yeshiva. He's a balachrayes. He's the founder of this shul. One of the founders of this shul. He's a balachrayes. There was a challenge in Klal Yisrael. He's like here. The Rebbeinu Shlom gave me money. This money is a responsibility. Do with it what you need to do. That's a balachrayes. I want you to know. I don't know if I could spend my life teaching 18 and 19 year old guys. I don't know if I could spend my life doing that. But I could spend my life working with guys who are going to be the bale achrayos of their communities. I could spend my life trying to be in a place with you guys together. We're all together cutting the crop. In high school, you guys were up to the rabbinic law; not much could be done.

22:41 Baruch Hashem, some rabbis are capable. Some guys aren't ready for it. You come to Eretz Yisrael; it's the time of cutting the crop. You get to see guys become bale achrayos for their lives. They don't make excuses, and you know what happens next? They become bale achrayes after yeshiva. If they're in college and there's midterms and there's finals, but they're bale achrayes. I have to learn. I take responsibility for my learning. I take responsibility for my life. They get married. They take responsibility for their wives. They take responsibility for their children, and they manage to figure out how I'm going to go to Minyan and how I'm going to continue my learning. And they're the leaderships in their shul And they're the leaderships in their community. It's unbelievable the chesed that comes out of our community because they're bale achrayes. Shavuos night. It's not just hasmada b'libatalo. Any Rebbe could give a shmuz about chasivas atayra.

23:30 Shvuas night is about you receiving the Torah. The Rebbeinu Shalom comes to give it to you. The only question is Will you take it? Will you grab onto the kisei covered with two hands and look at the malachim and say, I might be finite. I might be mortal. I might have every excuse in the world not to be great. But I'm gonna be great anyway. I'm gonna bring Torah down into this world, and I'm gonna illuminate this world and make it into a godly place. And you, the malachim, will never be as great. Because you're spiritual And I'm low. And when low becomes high, it's the highest thing in the world. My bracha to everybody here, and I bless myself that I should be part of this holy chabura Is that when we come Sunday night to yeshiva. The roar in the Beis Medrash is going to be something like we've never heard before. It won't be a regular morning seder. It won't be a regular afternoon seder.

24:21 There's going to be guys, no matter what their roshes. There's going to be unbelievable yeshiva. Not because we're trying to outdo anybody else. Not because we don't play that game in this yeshiva. We're an authentic place. Nobody's trying to outdo anybody. But we're going to sit and we're going to learn because we're going to say the Rebbeinu Shlom gave us the Torah. It's my Torah. Lo b'shamayim. It's my Torah. And it's my responsibility to take this tirah and make it a part of myself, and be as Hashem to share it with the rest of the world.