Parshas Shmini - A Lifetime of Learning (Hesped of Rav Chaim Kanievsky zt"l)

2:41 So the Degel Machne Ephraim The grandson of the Barshem toschus Yagan Aleinu Tells us a very interesting answer. It's not the answer we're going to focus on tonight But a very interesting answer nonetheless. Says that a person has to know that there's no such thing as we're done learning. There's no such thing as we're done learning. When a person learns the first half of something, they should never say "I learned the first half, and now I'll cruise through the second half." The second half, the first half, a person is never done learning. A person always needs to keep going, to go deeper and deeper. A very beautiful answer. I'd like to suggest a different answer One that I think. It's very relevant to us. And especially given the fact that this is our last year Except for those that are coming to my house. This is the last year that I'll be given for this man.

3:49 A message to take with us over ben azmanim. One way of looking at the halfway point in the Torah is to say it's halfway. But halfway is also another way of saying the middle. And another way of saying the middle is the core. The essence. So somehow, in these words of darosh darash The Torah is communicating to us that the essence of Torah The core. The middle, so to speak, not just the halfway point, but the deepest depths of the pneuma of Torah can be found in these words. What is the deepest depth? What's this incessant drive to understand? Why is that the essence of Torah? My wife told me that she told some of the girls here that a good she'er is something that you should partially understand now. And then as you get older You'll have the same sheer in your head. And you'll be like I remember when my rebbe, my teacher, said this, and now it makes even more sense to me. Then you get a little bit older, and it makes even more sense to you.

5:25 So I don't know if what I'm going to say will make a hundred percent sense to you now, but I hope it's something that will stay with you. By a Purim Suda Many years ago, the Purim Suda is actually on YouTube. You could find it. My Rebbe was speaking And he said. The highest appellation that he could give someone, the greatest compliment that he could give one of the guys Higher than even being a ben taira Is that you should be a ben yeshiva. What was the difference between a ben taira and a ben yeshiva? Many times I heard from my rebbe. He said, "Rabbi Yisai, if you can" Don't daven in a shul. Daven in a yeshiva. Always be a part of a yeshiva. Why? Said because you could get old You could get crusty, you could get stale. You could turn forty, fifty, or sixty years old.

6:42 Person gets involved in a shul. Most shuls, I think, are not like this. But in some shuls, maybe you get involved in shul politics. Maybe you don't get involved in these narish kind of conversations. Maybe there are people around that are just part of the kiddush club, not growth oriented. But my rebbe said If you spend your life in a yeshiva Around eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two year old guys Said you'll see They're fresh, they're young. They're stiging, they're growing, they're learning. Said, and that's contagious. Something you want to stay with you for the rest of your life is that you should always be an inquisitive person. You should always be a learner. You shouldn't just be somebody who learns. You should be a learner. There's a difference. There are people in this world, and the gedolim are like this. They're unbelievably curious people. If you ever have the opportunity to meet a gadol b'tayr, you should know.

7:47 They are insatiable when it comes to curiosity. They always want to know. They say that Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky is a chesed kol bracha. He knew so many things. He was a very curious person. To be a ben yeshiva to my Rebbe meant you weren't just somebody that was learning. It wasn't just something you did. It's something you lived. In your essence, you were a student. You could be a teacher and a student. You could be sixty years old and a student. What's the value of being a student? To be a student And to be growth oriented are synonymous. There's no such thing as being a growth oriented person without learning. Think about this year, even for yourselves, to a simple level. How many shiurim did you have and I'm sure the answer is many. How many shiurim did you have? Where a rebbe or a mechanechet or a teacher or a kezet said something And you said, "I never thought about it like that before" And you learned something. It opened your eyes to a whole new way of thinking.

9:06 What happens when you open your eyes to a whole new way of thinking? You can't unsee it. You ever have that where you learn something and you're like, I can never go back on that. I can never unsee that. And so, mamele, you change. It's not a flip out change. It's not a silly change. It's a real change. It's like I can't unsee that anymore. It's like I can never take a knife and stab myself for no reason. I can never do that because it makes no sense. I learned this thing and it now makes no sense for me to live my life that way. So mamele, I change. There are people. That are sixteen, seventeen, eighteen years old. Biologically. But spiritually, they're eighty, ninety, a hundred years old. They're very old people. They're not learning. They're not interested in learning. And then there are people you should know that they're seventy, eighty, ninety years old And they're learning.

10:03 They're always learning new things. So they might be biologically very old, but they're very young. That's what Chazal mean. Al Tashli Chemi Leiz Zikna. Don't throw me to become an old person. I never want to be an old person. I want to be youthful. I want to always be learning. A friend of mine is one of the most popular therapists in Yerushalayim. Impossible to get in to see him. Six month waiting list at least. Five hundred shekel an hour. He can't get in to see him. So he told me that he was seeing a couple. Doing marriage therapy with a couple. That were in their seventies They came to him in their seventies to work on their marriage. So he said to them What are you doing here? What are you doing here in your seventies? They were married for fifty years. They said, 'We didn't have a great marriage for fifty years.'

11:00 How much time do we have left together? But at least the time we have left together Let's make it better. So on the one hand, you might hear that story and say that's so sad. These people had fifty years without a great marriage. I think just the opposite. These are people who are students; they're growth-oriented people. We have time left. Let's do whatever we can. That's an amazing way of living your life. I think that's what it means when we say that somebody is a Talmud Chacham. Think about those words, a Talmud Chacham. Doesn't mean he's a student of wisdom. You would not say that. Imagine you came to a nuclear physicist. What would you say? He's the greatest in his field. Would you call him a student of wisdom? No. You would say he's the great professor. He wrote the book. He's an author. He's a scholar. He's a speaker. In English, it doesn't make sense. You would never come and say Stephen Hawking Student of wisdom.

12:03 Albert Einstein, student of wisdom. But when it comes to our Gedolei Torah, what do we say? He's a massive Talmud Chacham. He's an enormous Talmud Chacham. Why is that? What do we call them? Why do we call them students? Because the essence of the Torah These words, the halfway point, the middle, the center, the core Is are you a student of the game? Are you somebody who's constantly inquisitive? That's the key to being growth oriented. I'm sure that you've heard a lot already over the last couple of days. And I know that you girls did not go to the levaya. I'm sure you heard a lot about Rav Chaim Kanievsky, and it pains me to say these words Zechetzavik v'kadosh levracha. It's hard. It's hard to believe. I'm a little older than you girls Sir Chaim has been my gadol my entire life From the time that I knew what a gadol b'taira was When I was walking in the halls of Yeshiva Darke Torah in Frakoy And they had gadolim pictures up And they were telling us, "This leadership. This is what you look up to. This is what you aspire to." Some people have Michael Jordan and LeBron James on their walls.

13:39 We had Gedalim pictures. Rav Chaim was on the walls. Rav Chaim was on the walls. Rav Chaim was on the walls for the last forty years. To say the words Zeichet Sadik V'Kadosh Levracha make no sense. Makes no sense. The great sadik in Yerushalayim, Rav yechaim eisenmorgenstern. The great Mekubal, the great tzaddik The great Chassid. He said that every day of Shiva we should give another hesped for Avchayim. Every day of Shiva we should give another hesped. So when I saw that Rivit Shemayer said that It gave me a chizuk because I wanted so badly to come tonight to share with you. I wanted to share with you my thoughts and feelings. Some stories, by Rav Chaim. I said to myself, the girls are not going to be interested in hearing from me. It's already Wednesday. The levaya was Sunday. They probably had a whole Sunday.

14:48 They probably had a whole Monday. By the time Wednesday is rolling around, the girls are going to be like, how much can we hear about Rav Chaim already? Maybe not. I said, who wants to hear? So I tried to convince myself that it was a good idea. And I said to myself, I remember when Rav Shach passed away. My rebbe was mashpiah of Shach for a month. Every Thursday, my rebbe would give a shmuz for an entire month. The Thursday shmuz was about shach And I'll never forget those shmuzin. So I said to myself, maybe I could convince myself that even though it's Wednesday My rebbe gave hespedim for a month, so I could give hespedim even though it's only a couple of days later. I saw this line from Rivishemeyer and said, that's it. Have to share some thoughts and feelings. You'll forgive me if you've heard it before.

15:41 It's okay. You can walk out. I'm here to share what's real for me, and this is what's real for me tonight. Rivasher Weiss, Shlita Who I know here in Torah Devora, there's a big connection to Rivasher. He was Maspid Riv Chayyim, and he quoted from the Sefer Akona. The Sefer Hakonah said, "What is a Talmud Chacham?" The Sefer Hakonah does not say a Talmud Chacham is somebody who knows Shas and Piskeh. The Sefer Hakonah says a Talmud Chacham is somebody who is Nafshay Kshuro Benefesh Atayra. Whose soul is bound up with the soul of Torah. Girls, I don't know if you know what that means. I don't know if you know what that means. I had a friend who came from a modern Orthodox family. Decided in his life that he was going to be more right wing. And decided in his life that he was going to become an enormous talmudachum.

16:41 And by the way, that's what happened. That's what happened. He's been sitting and learning in Kotel now for probably something like sixteen or seventeen years. He's a wonderful person. He happens to be a very smart young man. I think he already became a dayan. I remember that. When I found out that he was dating, I came to him and said, "I think I have somebody to set you up with." So he said In a very respectful way, but I got very upset at him. He's like, "I'm only dating girls who come from families whose brothers are serious bnei Torah." So I said Your brothers aren't serious bnei Torah Where do you get off saying that he You're only going to marry on that level? So he said, No, you don't understand. It's not a judgmental thing. I'm going to dedicate every moment of my life to learning Torah.

17:44 It's going to require a massive sacrifice from my wife. I can't have one of these girls. I can't have one of these girls who came to seminary and got into it. But she has no idea what it means to sacrifice for Torah. I need someone who saw it with their own eyes, who saw their brothers coming home from Bais Medrash at eleven thirty, twelve o'clock at night. Because otherwise, this girl isn't going to be able to support me. This was a person. He's a real deal guy. I don't necessarily agree with his approach. But he was nafshayk shura benefesh atayra. My chavrusha. Some of you have already heard from me. My chavruta Shmuel. Now he's Rav Shmuel. I used to get text messages from him at three thirty, four o'clock in the morning in Rivkaiva Agers because he slept maybe two hours a night. Nafshay kshura benefshatayra.

18:44 But my chavrusa girls, how many years did he do it for already? How many years? He's in his mid thirties. He's been from since he's eighteen. It's impressive. This guy—he's been learning in Kailo for sixteen, seventeen years. It's amazing. Could you imagine somebody who did it for ninety-four years? We can't imagine such a thing. And I don't know if you heard this story, but I want to tell you the story anyway. Everyone knows about his amazing Hasmod. Everyone heard about his schedule. They told you about his schedule. Everyone knows where Rav Chaim's schedule is. I'll read it to you very quickly. Every day, eleven pages of Zohar, ten Prakam of Tilling. Eight prakim of Tanach, ten simanim of Mishneh B'rurah, eight prakim of Rambam, ten simanim of Tzur, ten simanim of Shulchan Aruch, eight daf of Bavli, eight daf of Yerushalmi, eight prakim of Medrash, eight daf of Kisvei Ariza, eight daf of Kisvei Aramchal.

19:38 And then he would write his Chidushet Yira. Twice a day for an hour, people would come for a bracha. And mostly during that time he was learning also. Every year he made a siyum on Zohar, Tanach, Mishneh B'rurah, Rambam, Tzur, Shulchan Aruch, Shas, Bavli, Tefsefta. Most, I think, all medrash kisvei erizal kisvei emcha And every year he would make a siyum on all of that erev Pesach. And when it was a leap year, that's when he would write his sfarim. And everyone knows because it was a leap year this year, he just made his siyum. He just finished. But that's not what I want to tell you. There's a story with Ruchaim that as a very young boy He had what would probably be diagnosed today as ADHD. He was the kid who couldn't sit still. Did they tell you this story? His father was the stipler Goyim The Kielus Yaakov.

20:37 His uncle was the Chazenish. The stipler married the Chazenish's sister. They were brother and los. So the stipler brought little Chaim Kaniewski to the room of the Chazenish, and they say that Riv Chaim. He was crawling the shelves. He was climbing up the shelves. And the stapler turned to Chazonish and he said, "Knew what's going to be with my Chayimka?" What's going to be with my Chayim? How is he going to be? How is he going to be a Ben Yeshiva? How is he going to be a Ben Torah? If he can't sit still, new girls. A lot of us have this problem today. So the Chazonish did. He took little Chayim Kaniaski by the hand. He brought him out. It's okay. He brought him outside to the tree that was right outside of the chazanish's house. And he said to the little boy "He said, 'Yinkle, climb the tree.'" And they say that Riv Chaim, as a little boy, climbed to the top of the tree. He was so proud of himself; he could climb all the way to the top of the tree.

21:44 And the chazanish said to the stapler Let him get his energy out. You'll see that'll be fine. He was not. Naturally, a person that could sit and learn Like many of us He was itching to jump out of his seat. Maybe you'll say he was a genius to be able to know what he knew. They came to him and they said They said, is it true that the letters Gimel and Tess are never seen next to each other in Tanakh? They asked him this question. So he goes, "It's true, but there's also four other sets of letters that are never seen next to each other in all of Tanakh." He was like a human Google. Everything in Torah, he knew it on his fingertips. So maybe you'll say he was a genius. Did he not come from amazing stock? His father was the stipler. His mother was Bat Sheva. His father was the Stipler. His uncle was the Chasanish.

22:40 Came from good stuff. He came from good stuff. His family was a legendary family. His wife was the daughter of Rav El Yashiv. The Leshem was one of the great Mukkabalim of two generations ago. Rav Aryeh Levine, the tzaddik of Yerushalayim. This family was big stuff. He must have been a genius. Boys that knew him back in the Yeshiva said he had average intelligence. He wasn't the best guy in the beis medrash. So tell me, girls The guy who wasn't the genius didn't go to the fancy and didn't give the top shear. In fact, he never gave shear in his life. Who wasn't the kid who naturally sat still? How did he become what we know today as the Sar Hatayra? How did he become the guardian, the officer of Tayra? How did he become somebody who embodied Tayra? I heard a Ma'isa Baruch Haym. There's so many beautiful Ma'isim, but I heard a Ma'isa that children in Bnei Brak used to go over to a Gemara. They would find a random passage in a Gemara.

23:49 And then they would go over it to Rav Chaim, and they would say, "Rav Chaim, where could we find this Gemara?" They would look in a random Gemara in Menachos and Zechim. They would find the random Gemara, and Rav Chaim, without even blinking, would tell them exactly which page, exactly which line. He knew everything. How did he get that way? So I saw a picture, two pictures. If you've seen these pictures, great. If you haven't seen these pictures, you are obligated. You're obligated to see these pictures. Somebody can WhatsApp me later. I'll send you the pictures. One picture, which is a very well-known picture Is Rav Chaim and his Rebbezson were being driven somewhere, and the car broke down. On the side of the road, they took a picture of Rebbezson Kaniaski and Rav Chaim. Rebbezson Kaniaski was standing up and saying to him. Rav Chaim was sitting on the side of the road and learning.

24:41 That's one picture. There's another picture. Every year, Chaim was makpid to go out into the fields and cut his own schach. Even when he wasn't a young man. Cutting schach is very hard work. Do girls know that? We today, who cuts their own schach? When your father gets his schach, what does he do? He pulls it out of that bag. The hardest thing is pulling it out of that bag. You ever help him pull it out of that bag? Putting it on is even harder. You roll out the schach. Rav Chaim cut his own schach, so he would get tired. Most of us, what would we do when we get tired? Lay down in the field, take a rest. They have pictures of Rav Chaim, beautiful, gorgeous pictures of Rav Chaim, and he's sitting down in the field, lying down because he's exhausted from cutting the schar. And what would Rav Chaim do when he was exhausted?

25:30 He had a sefer in front of him. He would sit and learn. Rav Chaim did not become Rav Chaim because he was a genius. Rav Chaim did not become Rav Chaim because he had. They say in order to be a rasha shiva, you need two things: a good rosh. And a good yeshiva, you need to know how to sit. He didn't naturally have that, but you know what he was? He was somebody who loved to learn. He was a true student of the game. He was a Talmud chacham. And when you're a person who learns, you learn all the time. Everywhere you go, you learn. That was Ruchayim. He ran away from politics. He ran away from covid. He wanted nothing to do with that. All he wanted was to sit and learn. That's one facet of Rivkahim. I'm going to discuss four tonight. There's another facet of Rivkahim.

26:27 Did you know that Rivkahim had an amazing sense of humor? Did they tell you that? So I'll tell you a couple of stories. Some of them I know personally. An American businessman had a very big business deal that he wanted to make, but he said, "I'm not making the deal until I speak to Rivkahim." Girls, you know that Rav Chaim, he had saw so many people So what did he do when he came to him for a bracha? What did he say? Famously Said "buah." Buah stands for bracha matzliach. You'll say he's only saving a second. But if you have hundreds of people coming, it saves some time. So this guy came to him for a bracha. He said, "Rabbi, I have this big business deal coming up. It would mean the world to me if Rabbi could give me a bracha that I should be matzliach in this business deal." So Rav Chaim said, "Buah."

27:13 So the guy said, 'Rebbe, I came all this way from America just to get this bracha. Rebbe, do you think I could get a longer bracha?' So Rav Chaim looks at him and he goes Boo ha! He had an amazing sense of humor. A boy from Evaseret from Florida got an opportunity to meet Rav Chaim. This boy had long hair. He shows up to Rav Chaim. Rebbe, can I get a bracha? Ruchaim looks at his grandson. He goes "Zeish oisha." He didn't do it to embarrass him; he had a big smile on his face. The boy came back. He said, "I got roasted by the gadol adar. He was so happy. They asked the. His grandson asked him by the Sia Mashas, 'Said Rebbe Zaidi' What bracha will you give to all those people that were just Messiah Mashas? Sir Chayim smiled and he said I give them a bracha; they should know it.

28:31 You know what that means, girls. It was a very nice way of saying. Sometimes people do dafyomi. And it's a wonderful, beautiful thing, and we're not mezazel even a little bit. Any Jew that learns Torah is the most unbelievable thing in the world. But I was recently at a seum, and it's a joke. I was recently at a seum That this place made. Had probably heard of Rivelli Stefanski. Some of you heard of. He's my neighbor. He's my very good friend. Made a seum. Eight hundred people. It was the most unbelievable seum. They had centerpieces with different statements that they make in the shir. Different statements, hysterical statements. One of the things was. Don't let the daf get in the way of the yomi. Meaning, don't worry about understanding. Just keep going every day a little bit more. R' Chaim was saying in a sweet way. They finish shas. I give them a bracha. They should actually know it.

29:22 A good sense of humor like that. There's a video you could see online. It's a brilliant video. A nudnik, a nudnikus Annoying type of guy Came to R' Chaim And he said, "Rebbe, I have a shayla for you." Chazal say that before you date a girl, you should look into her brothers. Rabbi, what should we be looking for when we look into the brothers? Sir Chaim smiles and he goes Check to see if the brothers are normal. So he goes, Rabbi What's normal? Sir Chaim says Normal means learning Torah. He goes, but Rabbi, what if one of the brothers is normal and one of the brothers isn't? So Rav Chaim goes. Then maybe only marry half the girl. So the guy says he's being asked these questions over and over again. So before I tell you the punchline, I have to explain the joke to you because you may not get it. Do you know that there's a bracha that a father makes when his son gets bar mitzvah? Do you know this bracha? Baruch she'patarani me'anshur shelze.

30:30 Thank you that I've been released from this punishment, because the father is responsible for his child, so baruch she peterani. This nunnik asks Rav Chaim, because Rebbe, can I get a bracha? So Rav Chaim goes baruch she peterani. An amazing sense of humor. Sometimes Sometimes we grow up with these stories of gadolim, and they're unbelievable. But sometimes we almost turn our gadolim into idols. He knew shas and peskin. By the time he was six years old, he never did an avera. He never sneezed without first thanking his mother. We come up with all these to write twenty art school biographies. Come up with all these stories. By R' Chaim, these stories were true. But what's even better? He was normal. I saw with my own eyes. He was the happiest person. He had a big smile on his face. What about his middos? Can we speak about Rav Chaim without speaking about his middos? We spoke about his asmode. He was a Talmud Chacham. We spoke about his sense of humor.

31:36 He had a vibrancy for life because he was deeply connected. What about his middos? Can we speak about Rav Chaim without speaking about his middos? Two things. One, I'm sure everybody in the room heard. The other, I'm sure many people have not heard. Rav Chaim did not eat lunch or dinner without his wife. It's not a small thing, you know that. You know Many times I'm not a big tzaddik. Many times I come home. Tonight I won't get home till eight forty-five at night. Maybe my wife is preparing a shir. I don't know what she's doing. She's chavruses. She learns on the phone with a woman from South Africa. So I sit and eat dinner. If Rav Chaim came home And his Rebbitzin wasn't there, he didn't eat. He waited for her. That was their time to learn together. That was their time to sit together. I am sorry, not to learn together. That was their time to sit together. That's me. Those tovos.

32:40 But there is an amazing story. That's an amazing story. But there is another amazing story. There was a photographer. And the photographer took a picture of Rivchayim. What was the picture that he took? One thing we have in abundance here in Medina, Israel. We have cats. Have you noticed that we have cats? Do they have cats here in Yerushalayim the way they have them in Beit Shemesh? Do the cats here cry like children? The cats in Beit Shemesh sound like little one-year-old children crying at night. So Rivchayim. Used to feed the cats milk. Used to go outside and put milk bowls out for the cats so they would have something to eat. Which by itself is midos tovos. So the photographer says, "It's a great picture." These photographers sell these pictures. In your shalaim, you can get pictures of gedolim left and right. There was a yeshiva.

33:47 I can't tell you which one. Wasn't Mavaseret. It's a really good prank. I wish it was Mavaseret, guys. These guys For a month and a half, they went to one of these guys in Yerushalayim and Mea Shearim. And they said, "Do you have a picture of Rabbi Ploni?" And every week, guys from the yeshiva would go and say, "Do you have a picture of Rabbi Ploni?" The rebbe was Rabbi Landau. Do you have a picture of Rabbi Landau? So this guy said, "No, I've never heard of this Rabbi Landau. Who's this Rabbi Landau?" He said, "Oh, he's a very choshev rebbe. He's amazing." And every week they would come. And then they took a picture of Rabbi Lando. And they and one day a guy came to this Meicher Sfarah, to this Meicher pictures, whatever, and he says "I'm selling pictures of Rabbi Lando. Do you want pictures of Rabbi Lando?" The guy said, "Yes, give me your pictures." Everyone's asking me for pictures of Rabbi Lando.

34:42 So the guys from this yeshiva sold him these pictures, a hundred pictures of Rabbi Lando. And then they went and bought them all so that it wouldn't be Geneva. And the guy's saying, "I sold out all my pictures of Rabbi Landau. It was just a Rebbe from their yeshiva. Happens to be a fine tzaddik." Here's this guy, and he has a picture. Here's a picture. I'm going to get the picture of Rav Chaim feeding the cat. And Rav Chaim got very upset. He didn't want to be caught in the act. He didn't want pictures of his tzedkus. He wants to leave me alone. Rav Chaim ran away from Kavod. So he was sharp with the guy and he said something a little bit sharp. And the guy ran away, terribly embarrassed. Twenty years went by. The guy figured Rav Chaim for sure doesn't remember him, so he went to Rav Chaim for a bracha. As soon as he walked in the room, Rav Chaim jumped up. He said, "I've been looking for you for twenty years."

35:35 I owe you an apology. I was very curt with you that day. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm sorry. Twenty years he was waiting. Girls, we don't justify hurting somebody. Two seconds after it happens, she has to understand she's not the only one in this room. We all have to have the temperature that works for us. And it's not right. I like to stay up a little bit later, and she needs the lights off. Rav Chaim had every right to say I don't want the paparazzi around me. He had every right to say that. But he was a little curt. Twenty years he was waiting for that guy. That's midos. Where does it come from? To be such a ball of midos. Where does it come from? You have to be a student of the game. You have to be somebody who's always interested in growing.

36:27 And the last thing I want to share with you is this chesed Because of course, if you are going to be a gadol b'tayr, you are going to be a massive bal chesed. Na'ach started off; the Torah says he started off as a tzaddik But ultimately, what does the Torah call him? An ish adam. He was a man. He was a person. Avram Avinu. Moshe Avinu is exactly the opposite. He starts off as an ish mitzri, and he ends up as an ish elokim. What's the difference between Na'ach and Moshe Rabbeinu? Na'ach was selfish. Na'ach was for himself. So he starts off as a tzaddik, but ultimately he's a regular person. Moshe Rabbeinu was a giving person. So he goes from being an ish mitzri to being an ish elokim. R' Chaim was the ultimate balchesed. Girls, I want you to imagine what it would be like to be the wife of somebody like R' Chaim.

37:19 That hundreds and hundreds of people are coming every single day from around the world, crowding into your apartment, which was not the size of this room. Did you girls ever go? It's not the size of this room, tiny. Tiny, and all of Kallah Yisrael would come from every walk of life—Svardi, Ashkenazi, Chiloni, Hasidish, Lithvish. Everybody came to Rav Chaim. He gave himself over to the Kallah completely. He gave himself over. It didn't matter where you came from. And he had a sense of humor for every one of them. My nephew, when he was very little, was wearing short sleeves. Rav Chaim didn't like short sleeves for whatever reason. Rav Chaim didn't like short sleeves, so when my little seven-year-old nephew came in to get a bracha from Rav Chaim, he said, 'Tell your father he needs to be able to afford the rest of your shirt.'

38:11 He accepted everybody. There's a story with R' Chaim that he did bedikah chametz. He didn't do like how many of us do ten pieces. I did ten pieces. Don't have to be embarrassed. I do. You put out ten pieces. You never do this, kid. You put out ten pieces. You make a bracha. You go around. Your five-year-old son is looking exactly at the place where the chametz is. You search a little bit. R' Chaim did a chazanish bedikah. You know what that means? He turned his whole house upside down that night, which takes hours. Just the svarim alone, opening up every single sefer for the chametz. He had tons of svarim. Somebody came and he knocked on the door in the middle of bedikas chametz. He wanted to ask Rav Chaim a question. Rav Chaim wasn't available. He was in the middle of doing bedikah. Hours later, Rav Chaim finishes. What's the first thing he does? He turns to his grandson and goes, "Who was the person that came? We have to go to their house. We have to find them."

39:09 Rav Chaim went to the person's house and knocked on the door. The guy opened the door. There was the gadol standing there. There was R' Chaim standing there. He asked, Rebbe, what are you doing here? He replied, You needed something. In no gaiva He gave himself over completely to others. That's not a sham thing. Somebody once asked him Can I be late to koylul if I'm doing a chesed? Sir R' Chaim said to him, Do the chesed. I guarantee it won't take away from your learning. That's what R' Chaim was. Every day, tons of chesed and tons of people are coming. What did we lose? Let's put it this way: If what we lost was just another Adam Gadol. I would not have taken our last year to discuss it with you. I'll tell you what we lost. We lost. The person in the world who reminded us that complete dedication is possible—that you could be an inquisitive person your entire life.

40:20 How to work on your midos? I need to think. How am I going to work on my midos? How am I going to make another person smile? Tell them a joke that's going to make them comfortable. How am I going to connect to my wife, to my children, to my husband? How am I going to focus more on my learning? Rav Chaim was the ultimate in focus. Will we marry Riv Chaim Kanievsky? Can we become Rebbetzin Kanievsky? We cannot. But we can be inspired by them. The problem with the art scroll biographies is that at some point the stories are so high that it's even impossible to become inspired by them because it's so far away from us. But you should know, with Riv Chaim, it was so close to us. He wasn't a genius. He wasn't the kid who, from the time he was a fetus, was totally focused and could just sit and learn and do nothing else. In fact, they asked Rav Chaim. He said, 'What do we do with a boy when we say he has a four-hour seder of Gemara in front of him, but he can't sit still?' Rav Chaim said to them

41:17 "Who could sit still for a four-hour seder?" He said, "If somebody came to me and said, 'Sit still for four hours,' I couldn't do it. But I sit still for a couple minutes in a row, and then I sit still for another couple minutes in a row, and then another couple minutes in a row." Rav Chaim was all of us. And he inspired us because we could be a little bit like him. And now you're going. Many of you will leave. Many of you will leave for Pesach. You'll go back. Some of you will come back for a second year. I understand. I made some announcements on Purim. Many of you will come back for a second year. But even if you don't come back for a second year, or if you do come back for a second year, you're going to be in America for the summer. What's the difference between those who make it long term and those who don't? Those who are at the core, at the essence, at the center of their being—they're learners. They're growers, they're people that never give up on themselves—and that's a tragic and tremendous loss for Klal Yisrael.