Parshas Shemini - The Great Debate Between Fins and Scales

2:58 You clearly have the same question that I have, which is, what in the world does that mean? First of all, let's start from the basics. Every sheir you've ever heard in your life starts off like this: Why did the Torah use the extra letter this way, or why did the Torah say with that subtle nuance? What should we answer now to every one of those questions? Yagdil Torah v'yadir. Why did the Torah have an extra letter? Yagdil Torah v'yadir to elongate and to lengthen the Torah. To bring to make it bigger. Why did Torah say it in that way? It was a bigger way of saying it. We want to have more letters, more words in the Torah. This goes against the grain of every single thing we've ever learned. But even more than that Yad del Torah v'yadir. What does that mean? Is there some sort of value of writing a longer book? Imagine you're an author and you've written something that you think is meaningful but it's only eighty pages. Do you think these authors will come to their publishers if they're authentic people and say, 'Do me a favor. Make the print bigger so that we can get to 100 pages.' That's what we did in high school when our teacher said, 'The paper needs to be four pages.'

4:14 Size 16 font. Here we come. Double spaced, indented margins, twice. And let's make it even crazier. Let's say a guy wrote or a girl wrote an eighty-page masterpiece. Every word is precise. Everything is measured. This is the next great piece of literature. But it's only eighty pages. Would the publisher come to the writer and say, "I need you to get a couple thousand more words in"? If it's a masterpiece, it's a masterpiece. So what could the possible meaning of the pas of the Gemara be when it says 'Yag Dil Torah V'yadir,' The Torah is a masterpiece. God gave this. This he just wanted to be like a little longer, get a couple extra words in. This way, we'll have another little bit to roll when we're rolling up the Torah. What kind of answer is that? Aside from the fact that it goes against the grain of everything we've learned, it doesn't even make any sense.

5:12 So that's two questions so far. Let's ask a third question. Are these simanim arbitrary? When the Torah says that a cow that chews its cud and has split hooves is kosher, is that arbitrary? How did Torah come up with that? Imagine if you were sitting and writing a religion. Let's say the Torah wasn't real for a second. Let's say it wasn't given by God. Imagine you're Moshe Rabbeinu sitting with a bunch of the old elders, the Zekanim, sitting around. You go like, all right, let's make some dietary laws here. What do you want? One of them goes like split hooves, yeah. That'll get them. They'll be running around checking the hooves. That would be the most awesome prank of all time. Split hooves. They have split hooves. They don't have split hooves. It's great. Guy can't eat those guys. Does it chew its cud? We'll literally be watching Jews watch them regurgitate their food over and over again. It's amazing. We're in the middle of the desert. Let's do fish. They'll never see it coming. Let's do fish. Where are they gonna find fish? We're in the middle of the desert. Fins and scales. Where'd they come up with these things? If you believe that the Torah was given by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, which I do believe, and I hope you believe as well.

6:21 So then you have to ask yourself a question: Do these simanim mean anything? Are they just random? What does it mean to have fins and scales? Is there an inner message that the Torah is trying to teach us? Spoiler alert: There is an inner message that the Torah is trying to teach us. But the question is, what is it? See, many people. It's okay. It was a good idea. Many people, when they're growing up, always say things like, "If I only knew the reason why I do it." And yet, when it comes to so many things, we don't necessarily ask that question. We should be curious, no? If the Torah comes along and says, 'Fins and scales, you can have salmon.' Great, I'll have salmon. That sounds awesome. But we don't ask ourselves why when it comes to those things. We have to ask ourselves why fins and scales.

7:17 In order to explain this, let's start with a basic premise. When I was growing up, child of the nineties, there was a commercial on television And it was a person sitting in a beautiful house with sweet orchestra type of music on in the background. This person would sing. I'm not gonna hurt you by singing it. I don't have a good voice. But he would sing, "You are what you eat," with this opera type of voice. "You are what you eat." See, I did do it. "You are what you eat," and then it would switch. You would see the same person on a stage in like a punk rock band with long hair. And he would go, "And I'm a slice of pizza, and I'm a frozen yogurt," and Arayomazai. I have no idea what that commercial was for. But I remember going around in school and going, "You are what you eat" And I'm a frozen yogurt. It was like a thing that kids did in the hallways. It was like a ridiculous thing. I wonder what Myra Bay and were thinking about me when I did it.

8:34 Does Judaism believe in that concept? Are you what you eat? And I'm saying this with the full sensitivities of understanding that I'm speaking to seminary girls. In Sharfman's Are you really what you eat? Is Judaism so the resounding yes coming from this side of the room? Is Judaism that reductive? Are you a slice of pizza? Are you a frozen yogurt? The whole pie. That's why they cut them into slices, girls. You have the option of taking less. Froyo is not a lifestyle. It is for me. Judaism is not so reductive as to say that you are what you eat. Judaism does say, and many rishonim say it. The Remban says it in several places. Rashi says it. What you eat has an impact on you. In fact, there's a concept brought down in the Gemara called Tiptum Halev. What does Tiptum Halev mean? Rashi explains that when a person eats certain Maachalos Asuros, certain foods that one is not allowed to eat, that has a negative impact on a person's soul.

9:58 It closes their heart, it closes their mind, and it makes them less sensitive. So what you eat is important. But still, we haven't answered the question. When I eat some things, I have a timp to maliv. When I eat other things, I don't have a timp to maliv. What's going on over here? Why is it that a fish that doesn't have fins and scales is going to have a negative impact on my soul? And what does that even mean? Imagine, I don't know if you know this, girls, but some people say, Do you keep kosher? They go, well, I only eat out dairy. I eat kosher meat, but I don't keep kosher when it comes to fish. So a person who sits down and has some lobster. Why does that have a negative impact on my soul? Imagine if you told a person who's sitting down in Red Lobster, 'A Jew walks into Red Lobster,' and you grab them and you go, 'Timp Tum Halev, don't do it.' What are they going to say to you? Delicious lobster. I am going in.

10:59 My father is my father and my mother. I am blessed that both of my parents are balei tshuva. And I ask my father, "Do you miss anything?" Shrimp. I've never had shrimp in my life, but he tells me shrimp is delicious. Why shrimp? Why does it have t't'aleve? What's going on over here? A couple of blocks from us, that way. There's a neighborhood called Mea Sharem. Mea Sharem is a place where people often wear similar types of clothing. To them, there are subtle nuances. It's like Crips and Bloods. If you wear white socks or black socks, if you tuck your pants in or don't tuck your pants in, wear the yushalmi or don't wear the yushalmi. The upshrim, the long shrim, whatever it is, it's different to them, but it looks very similar to us. And many of us have heard some things that may make us not so excited to walk into a neighborhood like Mea Sharem.

12:00 Maybe they've heard things like, if you go in there and you're not dressed in a tzanuah way, they're gonna spit on you or they're gonna pour things on you. And many of you might have heard people say things like, if you go into Mea Shearim and Gula, they have big signs. The internet is usser. They don't have anything to do with the outside world. They're totally cut off. But if one of the rebbezens of Mea Shearim was in the room right now And she was giving us a shmooz. On the power of living in a place like Mea Shearim. She might say things like, "And don't jump on me, because I'm just presenting one side of the argument, and then I'm going to present the other." She might say things like, "Girls, look at the things you've been exposed to in your lives." My children are not exposed to them. When you drive around in New York City, you see massive billboards of people dressed inappropriately, selling merchandise that you don't need, convincing you to live a lifestyle that's not in line with Judaism. My children are growing up sheltered and pristine. And if we would say to her, 'You're sheltering your children. You're keeping them from the world,' she would say, 'Yeah, when there's bombs falling in the street' You go to a shelter, and you're not embarrassed when you go into the shelter. Imagine. Unfortunately, with the Rishayim

13:35 Those of our cousins that feel that it's appropriate to shoot rockets into Israel because they don't believe that we have the right to live here. Imagine if somebody living in Sterot went into a shelter in the middle of the night because the air raid siren came off. You said to them, 'You're sheltering your children.' What would they say? Of course, I'm sheltering my children. Because the air raid sirens are going off. And this Rebbitzin, this fiery, passionate, frum Rebbitzin from Mea Shearim. What would she say to you, girls? There's bombs falling in the street. And you don't need me to convince you that there's bombs falling in the street. She would argue, why? Because you know yourself. Think about what the last four years of your life have looked like. Think about the things you've been exposed to growing up. Think about the commercials that you saw and the way they portrayed women as objects. Even though the whole #MeToo movement is designed to create equality, who was the one that created the lack of equality to begin with when they treated women that way? I wouldn't want my daughters growing up with that. The rabbisim would argue, and even subtle things like Barbie dolls.

14:39 I don't want girls to have that image. That's what a girl should look like in order to be pretty, and I don't want the magazines coming and teaching my children that Hollywood is a way of life because Hollywood is a distorted way of life. And what would we say? What would we say back to this rabbi? Son, she's making some fair points. But on the other hand Let's take another Jew. Well intentioned. And this Jew, she's not a rabitzen living in Mea Shearim. She's a professor in a prestigious college. And she looks at this rabitzen from Mea Shearim, and she says, 'You are the problem. You see, me, I'm an assimilated Jew. My culture is American culture. I grew up with American values. When people look at backwards Jews that don't come into the 21st century, that don't speak our language, that are speaking Yiddish on the subways and dressing like it's 17th century Russia in the middle of the summer.'

15:57 You are the problem. If only you would assimilate. If only you would say, I'm coming to the 21st century. Don't you know how much there is to gain? Don't you know how much you have to offer? And she would argue that you are the cause of anti-Semitism. She would say it's because of Jews like you that people look down at us. That they say they're unwilling to participate in society. They closet themselves off in cities like Nuskever. Where there are no Gentiles except to come do some work on homes like that. Everything has to be run the way you want it. You're living cloistered. You're living in the ghetto. You're living in the shtetl. You've never come to the 21st century. You are the cause of anti-Semitism. In fact, I'll tell you a true story. How many people here have heard of a prominent psychologist, Author Rabbi named Rabbi? Abraham J. Twersky, Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky. You've heard of Dr. Twersky. Dr. Twersky, Rabbi Twersky is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist, one of the leading psychiatrists in the world. He founded centers for addiction. He's a brilliant man. Comes from a Hasidic heritage, and he dresses like a Hasid. When he opens his mouth to speak, he speaks like he went to Harvard because he did go to Harvard, so that's why he speaks that way. But he dresses like that 17th-century Polish Jew.

17:25 He tells a story that he was once on the subway, and an assimilated Jew starts railing on him. Why don't you join the 21st century? Why do you dress like that? You don't speak the language. You don't. You keep your kids so hidden away from all the benefits of society. And Rabbi Tursky is just listening to this man going on this rant. And finally, when he has a chance, Rabbi Tursky says to him, "I'm so sorry. I think you might have me mistaken. I'm Amish." And the man immediately begins to apologize. He says, "I am so sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. In fact, I've been to your country. I've been to Amish country, and I have to tell you, I think it's so wonderful that you don't use electricity, and it's so quaint, and it reminds me of an older time when people didn't have as much technology as today." And finally, when he was finished, Rabbi Tursky said to him, "Actually, I am Chassidish, but can I ask you a question? Why is it that when I told you I'm Amish, you treated me with tremendous respect?" But when I tell you I'm Hasidish It's like whoa, we don't accept that.

18:30 Because to this assimilated Jew, what does he see when he sees that person dressed like they're 17th century Poland, Russia, Ukraine? He says, 'You are the problem.' Jews, we've had a problem for not tens of years or hundreds of years, but for thousands of years now since the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. The world is not a hospitable place for a Jew. And people are looking for the answer. Here are the different answers that have been offered throughout history. If only we would have our own land. Then they wouldn't hate us. How's that going? The UN Human Rights Commission has these anti-Israel things all the time. Syria gases their own people, and the UN Human Rights Commission is like, it's right? They're only doing it to their own people. But we put up guards at the border to stop people from coming in and inflicting terror, and it's called a human rights violation. We were the ones that told the whole world that Iran was building a nuclear bomb. Obama was literally giving them money for that.

19:36 And what does the world say? Another Mossad covert operation. Everything they blame on the Jews. There was a terrible tragedy in New Zealand where somebody came in and shot up a mosque and killed many people. Somebody already has blamed it on the Mossad. It was really an Israeli thing. Somehow they blame everything on us. What's the pshat? Our own land doesn't help. So we said at different points in history, it's not because we don't have our own land. It's because we're not like them. If we'll only be more like them, how did that work out for us? Hitler cremated the assimilated Jews and the non-assimilated Jews in the crematoria without any care. Who was Orthodox and who was not Orthodox? So this assimilated Jew is arguing an argument that Jews have been having for so many thousands of years, which is, what can we do to just get the world to leave us alone? Why do you have to stand out like a sore thumb? They're embarrassed. They're embarrassed of that Jew that lives in Mayasharim.

20:40 And so us, sitting here in Yerushalayim Eretz Kodesh, what's our hashgufa? Because I don't think that anybody in this room identifies, as far as I know, unless somebody here is really flipped out. I don't think anybody identifies necessarily with the chaver that's over there, a couple blocks that way. And I'm hopeful and I'm confident that professor, that assimilated Jew, who's not loyal to her Judaism, who just wants to do things like everybody else. And says, Look, I care about my Judaism, but I'm just not willing to take my children out of the world. They have to be with everybody else. They have to be more ambivials. I think we don't agree with that either. So where do we stand? Which one is right? Girls? This is such an important question because this is the question of how you define being modern and orthodox at the same time, without getting into any labels or any communities. Every person in this room is going to struggle with that tension. I am an Orthodox Jew, proud to be a Jew, and I have allegiance to my Judaism. I have loyalty to my Judaism, and yet there's a good chance that you are going to engage

22:01 And we hope that you engage the world. We're not teaching you in this seminary to stay out of the world. That's not what we're teaching you. We're teaching you to engage the world. But how? How do I engage the world as an Orthodox Jew? This is the argument that we call fins and scales. Scales are the armor of the fish. Scales say the fish is swimming; it doesn't fall apart from the tension of the water. Why? Because it has strong scales. Protects the fish from attackers. So the scales people, if you're purely and exclusively scales, where would you live? If you're purely and exclusively scales, where would you live? I must be doing a really bad job with this. The scales are the armor of the fish. They're the ones that say protect. If you are a scales-only person, where would you live?

23:05 Meisharim, just a couple of blocks that way. You get it? What's the fins? I haven't said the fins yet. Fins and scales. Remember that rabbit's in the Me'Sharm. We need armor to protect ourselves from the bombs and the rockets that are falling on the streets. Every magazine, every newspaper, every commercial, every television show—they're there to inflict a not-Jewish way of seeing the world. So even the quote-unquote kosher shows are giving over messages that are not in line with Judaism. There's rockets falling in the street. We have to shelter ourselves. That's called being a scales person. The scales of the fish are the armor of the fish. Is that clearer now? But then there's fins. What do fins do? Fins are what actually make the fish propel forward in different directions. So if you were a fins person, not a scaled person, what would you say? How can we go forward? How can I use my fins? Propel means to move.

24:09 This is like if you're swimming. The fins are there to propel the fish to go in a certain direction. What would a Fin's person say? A Fin's person would say, "I have somewhere to go. Judaism wasn't given to me to remain in the ghetto or to remain in the shtetl. Judaism is how do I go out into the world. But I'm not worried about those rockets. I'm not worried about those bombs falling in the street. And inevitably, what happens to that Fin's person because they're so out there without that protection? They're subject to the pitfalls that come with living in a world where there are rockets falling in the streets and they're not aware of them. Girls, I want to tell you something. The shir that I'm giving to you right now is particularly meaningful to me on a personal level because my family, as I mentioned earlier this year, I'm very proud that I come from a family where my mother and father are both balei tshuva. It was an amazing experience growing up as a child where your parents are both balei tshuva.

25:16 And I'm sure some of you in this room have a similar experience where you grew up in homes that weren't necessarily Orthodox. So for me, every Pesach, every Chanukah, the family was invited to my house. As early as seven, eight, nine years old, by the Pesach Seder, when people were coming to wash Niti Las Yadayim, I would be the one sitting with my cousins and saying the bracha, Baruch Atah Hashem. Then I'd have to say Hashem's name. They would say Hashem's name. Elokeinu. Again, same thing, Melech, Haolam, Hashem. They're starting to wonder how long this is going? Kedushanu b'mesuza v'tivanu. I'll Niti Las Yadayim. And then I would say, "Amen," and they go, "Amen." I go, "Okay, go sit down and don't talk." They go, "Okay." They go sit down. My Pesach Seder was far from a traditional Pesach Seder because my father had to keep everybody involved because not all of my relatives even went to Hebrew school or knew anything. I had a cousin who, in the beginning of the Seder, would wrap. You know how you have in the beginning of the seder that song Kadei Shorchatz Karpas Yachatz. That's right. Every first grade mohel knows that niggun. I don't know where it came from, but everybody knows that niggun.

26:35 So my cousin would rap that, Kadei Shorchatz Karpas Yachatz. And that was like the seder. I'm like, and even as a little kid, I'm like, that's probably not the way it goes in other homes. And I knew that. My father did such a good job of trying to keep everybody involved. He would go over to people and he would give them answers to questions because, of course, they didn't know anything. He would say, 'Okay, Fred, when it comes to a certain point in the seder, I'm going to say, 'How many people went down to Mitzrayim, and who was born on the way?' And the answer is, 69 people went down to Mitzrayim, and a 70th was born on the way. Some say that it was Moshe Rabbeinu's mother Yolcheved that was born on the way. You got that, Fred?' And Fred said, 'Yeah, I got it.' And then later in the seder, my father said.

27:23 Does anyone know how many people went down to Mitzrayim, and if anyone was born on the way? Fred, do you have any idea? He says, sixty nine people went down to Mitzrayim, and one was born on the way. And he says, and who was that? He says, Jesus Christ. And my father says, no, that was the wrong answer. That's the wrong religion. And then every year, every single year, because every year we had the same people at the seder. When it came down to that time, everyone goes. How many people went down to Mitzrayim? Sixty nine. How many people were born on the way? One was born on the way, and who was it? Jesus Christ. That was a part of our seder. Now I imagine. I don't know many of you girls. I've never been at your Pesach seder. Is there anybody that shares even a remotely similar experience to me? Jesus makes an appearance at your seder.

28:20 And while some of my cousins are committed to marrying Jews Many of my cousins, if not most of my cousins, are not committed to marrying Jews. And in fact, I already have gayish cousins. True, it's a true story. I don't mind telling it to you. One of my mother's cousins was engaged to two different people, both Jews, and both of them died during the engagement. When she was dating a guy again, everyone was all excited. His name was a very Jewish name. Bob Katz. Doesn't get much more Jewish than that. Ruvein Katz. Katz means Cohen Tzedek. Bob's father was Jewish. Bob's mother was not. Everybody in the family had a question. Do we tell her to break up? She's lost two fiancés. Keep that in mind. Do we tell her to break up? How do we tell her to break up? And everyone justified it. They said, 'Well, it's not as if her children won't be Jewish because, after all, she's Jewish, matriarchal descent, so the children will be Jewish.' So my cousins, two Jews, being raised in a family that had a Hanukkah menorah and a Christmas tree in the house. Seasons greetings cards

29:50 And when they got bar mitzvah, we went to Crown Heights for Shabbos to my Lubavitcher cousins. And I'll never forget that by my cousin Michael's bar mitzvah, they came over to Bob, who remember is not Jewish. And the gabbai came over to him, or wasn't even the gabbai, it was another person who was there visiting. And he said to Bob, "I know that the minhag is usually that the father of the bar mitzvah boy gets maftir." But I have yard sight this week. So would you mind if I got maftir instead? Now I want you to know that Bob understood almost none of those words. So Bob is looking at this guy and my father quickly runs over to him and he goes, "It's not his minug. You can have maftir." Anyone giving maftir to a guy? And so when my cousins went off to college and they started dating, wonderful girls, by the way, the sweetest of people. When they went off to college and they started dating Gentile girls, everyone in the family went such a shame.

30:55 And when my oldest cousin met the girl that he eventually married, who wasn't Jewish, and they tried to talk him out of it, he looked at them and he said, 'Are you for real? My father's not Jewish. Are you really going to tell me that I need to marry a Jew when my own mother didn't do that? And don't give me any of this matriarchal descent, patriarchal descent.' I don't really care about that. And unfortunately, that's the way most of my cousins feel. Assimilation is taking away more Jews than the Holocaust ever could, and it's self-inflicted. So to me, this fear, it's not in the air; it's real. These are the people that I grew up with. These are my cousins. When I went to my family simchas, this is who was there, and they don't care. And even if they care to marry a Jew, what are the chances that their children will care to marry a Jew?

31:49 These are the types of people that we hope come on birthright and maybe have some allegiance to the land of Israel. Maybe that means something to them. Maybe they heard a shir. Maybe they start lighting Shabbos candles. Maybe that will be enough to one day spark something. But that's the level we're holding by. You girls have had a superb education. My cousins never got that. So who's right? My cousins who are going off. Becoming Gentiles, they won't be persecuted anymore. Their kids won't be persecuted. They're not part of the nation anymore. But on the other hand, is that the right way? Are we supposed to dress in burkas? That doesn't seem right to us either. It's a big question and one that's very relevant to our lives. And the Mishnah provides us with a phenomenal answer. The answer is very simple and very profound at the same time. Listen carefully. Any fish that has scales has fins, but not every fish that has fins has scales.

32:50 If you have real scales, if you have real armor and real protection, that's what allows you to go out into the world. If you have armor on, why do you have that armor on? You have that armor on not to sit back, but to go out and to engage. That's the purpose of armor. So if you have scales, if you're a person who really has scales, don't be afraid to have fins. You'll have fins. If you have real scales, you'll have fins. So those people that are living sheltered In my opinion, those people who are living sheltered and have nothing to do with the outside world—they're not bringing Hakadosh Baruch Hu out into the world. They don't have true armor, because if they had true armor, they wouldn't be afraid to go out. But my brothers and sisters on the other side of the aisle who keep telling me about all their Finns, they don't have skills. And yes, they go out, and yes, they're involved in Tikkun Olam. And if there is a hurricane, they're sending their people to go rebuild homes, and that's wonderful and that's beautiful.

33:52 But I have a fundamental question: Are you impacted by the secular culture around you? And girls, I'm going to say now, what might be to some a very extreme position. But hear me out. If I'm walking down the street in New York City and I'm walking down Fifth Avenue and I see a kid, Caucasian, and he's wearing a Knicks jersey, shorts, sneakers, and a hat, I don't necessarily know if he's Jewish. I don't know if he's Jewish. But if that same kid is walking on Central Avenue or Cedar Lane I assume that he's Jewish, but not because of the way that he dresses, but just because of the location. The reality is that we have been, on some level, all of us, everybody in this room, including myself, impacted by secular culture. We're not necessarily so proud to walk around saying, 'I am a Jew' And it comes from so many different areas where we haven't had appropriate scales. And I'll ask you a tough question: What television show do you think your kids might watch if you bring that device into your home, left unguarded, as they're flipping through the channels? What television show today do you want your 16-year-old son to sit down and say "This looks interesting" It's a funny show.

35:27 It's a funny show about a woman who was basically flirting with another person while she was engaged to somebody else. He was trying to break them up. Wouldn't be so comfortable if that happened to you? I wouldn't necessarily want my son or my daughter to be watching that. But let's be more extreme, right? The Office. How many people feel comfortable with their 16-year-old son watching Game of Thrones? And I'm not even talking about the inappropriate Arias. How many people think that a child should be exposed to violence like that? How many people want a gaming console in their home where young men can play games where they shoot and kill other people, race their cars in the most disgusting neighborhoods, do the most disgusting things, buy drugs in a video game? Girls, I grew up in an era where we played EA Sports. We played NHL.

36:28 I didn't have these concepts. The closest thing we had was a game called Doom, which admittedly wasn't a good game, but it was nothing like the things that go on today. And look at the level of addiction that's going on. Do you know? I saw Doctor Pelkowitz said that thirty percent of adults who play Fortnite have skipped work to play Fortnite. That's insane. Adults that have jobs say, "I'm not going into work today." Fortnite. What in the world is going on? It's an insane asylum out there. Can anybody in this room honestly say that they haven't been impacted? The way we relate to drugs and alcohol, the way we relate to issues of gender. That woman in Mayashram, I may not agree with her. But her kids aren't as impacted as mine are. If you don't have scales, you can't go out. Because the reality is that assimilation is occurring. Now you'll look at me and say, Rebbe, I'm not marrying a gentile. Of course you're not. But what type of gentile things will come into our homes? What will be on our walls, for example? What would you want to be on the walls of your children's bedrooms?

37:54 Growing up, I had a picture of Muhammad Ali on my wall. I had a picture of Michael Jordan. I had a picture of Shaq, Patrick Ewing, Big posters. I even had my father bring me home once from his office with the Friends poster. I don't know if you girls know this show called Friends. I know you know. I was just kidding. Can I honestly say that there wasn't assimilation? Of course, there was. I believe that I'm presenting a middle of the road approach. I want you to really think about this. We need scales. We need to have protective measures in our home of what should and should not be in our homes. What adorns the walls of our homes? Hopefully, pictures of people that we look up to. There's something beautiful about having a home. With svarim shelves, there's something beautiful about having a home where we make a real corner to light Shabbos licht. That it's a place that our children know we don't just stam light candles there, but that's designated for the Shabbos licht. There's an avirah where our children can see us lighting the Shabbos candles and saying Tehillim and davening for our children for that week and getting a kisgut Shabbos and knowing this is the most beautiful time. And there's something exceptionally Jewish about it. Think about the music that you listen to.

39:21 Think about the music. Think about the lyrics. Think about the people that are performing these lyrics. Are these the people that you want your children and yourself? Are they the role models? Is that who we're looking for? That the poet philosopher Beyoncé Knowles should be raising our children? Jay Z should be raising our children. That Cardi B should be raising our children. That Macklemore should be raising our children. That Drake should be raising our children. Look how relevant I am. Look how assimilated I am. That I even know that it's not something to be proud of. What's the balance? The balance is that I have scales, I have protective measures in my home. If I'm going to have the internet in my home, because that's going to be a tool that I might need in my home, there's going to be real filters and real shmirah. It's not something that should just run haphazard. How many young men and women have told me that they had these devices in the home? And even if they did have filters, kids know how to get around filters very, very fast. Some of these guys that I've met over the last 11 years are like wizards in technology.

40:30 You put a computer in front of them. There was a kid that we had once in yeshiva that he used to see how many hours, not days, how many hours it could take for him to crack the school's new Wi-Fi password in the beginning of every year. I said, "How do you know how to do that?" He goes, "I'm a hacker." I said, "Where did you learn how to do that?" He goes, "Online." You can learn to get around anything. He was telling me how he'd go to proxy sites in China to get around. I'm like, hey, what are you doing? It's like on the dark web. I'm like, just to get the Wi-Fi password? Got to be really careful. But don't be careful to the exclusion of saying, so I'm not going to go out. I'm not going to have a life. My wife, when we lived in America, she worked in AIG before it collapsed. She worked in AIG. AIG is a very chash company in New York, and she was an actuary, which is a very important position. But she was a woman of dignity, and she went with her sheitel, and she went zanua, and she spoke in a zanua way. And yes, she was mekadosh shem shamayim. Did I tell you girls the story of what happened to her once in AIG? Yeah.

41:40 That's what it means to have scales and fins. It's a fascinating thing. Yaakov Avinu is sitting with Menashe and Ephraim, and he's giving them a bracha. Vayidgu laro'v, you should grow like fish. Was the first time anybody had ever given a bracha like that—that you should be multiplying like fish. Why like fish? Menashe and Ephraim were the children of Gallas; they were the first children born in Egypt. Yaakov Avinu was telling them, if you are going to be in Gallas, you have to be kosher fish. You have to be fish that have fins and scales. You have to be protected, but you can't be afraid to be mekadoshem Shamayim. Today for the first time in such a long time

42:18 Jews have a voice. We can say things in the world. What are we saying? We should be proud to stand up and say there is one God and there's oneness in the world and everyone is a part of this and everyone has a mission. We should be sharing the Jewish mission with the world. But so many of us are so afraid to go out. And on the other hand, so many of us are going out and we're losing them. We have to know how to balance both. We have to have scales and fins. If you just have fins, it doesn't mean you have scales. But if you have real scales, it means you have the confidence to go out. So let's go back to that Gemara. The Gemara says Why does it tell us both? Yagdil Torah v'yadir, because that's how we make Torah greater. It wasn't saying that Torah is greater because there's extra letters or extra words or because we needed more column space to make it more impressive when the guy does Hagbah. That's not what was being said. It was saying if you want to be gadol, if you want to build Torah, if you want to make Torah bigger, if you want to expand Torah, Hashem's message in the world, you gotta be someone who knows that fins alone will not be enough. But with proper scales You'll be able to go out and navigate in the world.

43:25 We're holding now. This is possibly—I'm not sure what's going to be next week. This is possibly our last year before Pesach And then after that, we only have a couple of shiurim left for the entire year. Maybe four or five shiurim for the rest of the year. So we're nearing the end. I was on the phone with Mrs. Fold tonight. She was saying, because I wanted to make sure you girls had class tonight. She was saying, Riv Berg, don't forget that after Pesach, want to start in on that. How do you take it with you? That's the end of the year. Is the 'how do you take it with you' seminars? Girls? This is the beginning of that. For many of you, you're going back to America. To an old environment, and maybe you've accepted things upon yourself this year. Maybe you've looked at your life this year and said, 'There are things that I want to change.' And you go back to an environment that perhaps will be challenging. Perhaps there are people that are going to look at you, and they're going to expect you to be different, or they're going to say, 'Come on, what did you become?' And there's going to be pressures.

44:33 You have to have scales. You have to be strong enough to be able to say, "I know who I am. I have the integrity." And the loyalty to my values that no matter where I go, I'm strong. But don't be a person that just hides in your house and says I can't go anywhere because the world is so crazy and I'm so afraid of what's going to happen. If you're afraid of going out, it means you don't have proper armor. If you have the proper armor, which is integrity and loyalty, if you really know who you are and you have that armor and you're prepared. You understand not everything should come in. When you go out, be'ezar Hashem, you'll have tremendous hatslach. You don't agree with me? Not because they just stay.