Shemini - Seeing the Godliness in Ourselves Even When We Have Stumbled

2:28 It's not just stam that if I eat this food, I'm identifying with certain negative traits that an animal has. These animals, the Ramban speaks about this; they have a certain negative quality to them. By ingesting these foods, it has a negative quality on us. It has a negative impact on us. There's a certain timple maliv that comes about because of this. It's no accident. That we find that all the animals that are mutterti, the animals that are kosher, are not predatory animals. We don't take those things inside of us. We have to be careful what a person brings inside of them. The kliyakar here asks two questions. These two questions are very important because we're going to answer them from several different directions. Kliyakar says, if you're medayik in the psukim There's something very interesting. In order for an animal to be kosher, it needs to have two simanim. It needs to chew its cud, and it needs to have split hooves.

3:29 In order for the Torah to tell us that an animal is not kosher, it only has to tell us that it's missing one of these simanim. And that's not what the Torah does. The Torah, in going through all these cases, the gamal, the shapha, and the arneves, speaks about not lacking one of the simanim, but two simanim. And it says because it's missing one of the simanim So it's not kosher. But why didn't the Torah just say then because it's missing this simin, it's not kosher? Why does the Torah need to say these are the two simanim and it's missing this one? Just tell us the one that it's missing and we'll know that it's not kosher. Further, the kliyakar has an unbelievable diac. Listen to the words. Each one of these psukim has this. He says. As Hagamal, why is the gamal not kosher? Because this is the reason it's not kosher.

4:26 Ki Malei Geiro Uparsa einenu mafres, because it chews its cud, but it does not have a split hoof. Which one should have come first? If you're gonna list both Simanim, which one should have come first? It's not kosher because it chews its cud. That's why it would be kosher. It should say it's not kosher because it doesn't have split hoofs. It says it in the wrong order. First, it tells us the kliyakar points out the reason why it would be kosher. And then it says why it's not. It does this each time. Ve'es hashavon ki malagerahu uparsaloyafres. It's a malagera, but it's a parsaloyafres. But why not say it in the right order? Why not tell us the reason why it's not kosher to eat first? That's what ki means. Ki because it's kliyakar's question. I want to share with you the kliyakar's answer. It's a stunning answer. It's an answer that's relevant to every single one of us. It's a topic that comes up a lot. One of the Talmidim called me over, Rabbeinu Zimun, and we were discussing this issue. I'm not going to say who, but he knows who he is, and I'm pretty sure he's here in the room.

5:28 I think he's here in the room. It's a little dark, but I can't. We were talking about the idea of negative influences. The reason we were talking about it was in light of the last Mishmar that we had at the end of last month, where I quoted from the Novominsker Rebbe. That every yeshiva should have zahav v'chesef un'choyeses. That you should have golden Jews and silver Jews and copper Jews. And he was saying, Rabbi, isn't there value in being in a yeshiva where you have pristine surroundings, no negative influences? Isn't that, after all, what the Rambam says? The Rambam in Hilchas Deias Perak Vav Halach Aleph talks about the danger of negative influences. The Rambam speaks about running away to the desert and hiding in caves to get away from negative influences because we're social creatures, says the Rambam, and a negative influence could impact you. You have a friend who Chassid Shalom is heading in a bad direction, and we've seen throughout the years that a kid who's Mushba from another kid and one kid is heading in a bad direction. Taka, there is such a thing as a negative influence.

6:32 So I'm speaking to this boy right now. He's a hundred percent right. We'll see that it's more deep than this. But he's a hundred percent right. There is such a concept called the negative influence, and this is what the kliyakar says. The kliyakar says the semen of the animal that's kosher In a certain way, It makes the animal even less kosher. Let's look at the pig. We all know what the pig does. The medrash says the pig sticks out its hoofs and says, "Look at me, I'm kosher." You know what the pig is? Says the kliyakar. He's the most dangerous type of negative influence to have in your life because on the outside, does he look frum? Look at me, I'm in Bais Medrash all the time. Look at me, I don't miss a minion. But on the inside, he's got bad middos. On the inside, he's heading in a negative direction. The Kli Yakar says you have to be very careful about these types of negative influences. The Kli Yakar goes so far as to say that all four of these animals that are listed in the Torah represent one of the different gullason.

7:33 One of the different exiles that we all lived through And he speaks about that we're in the final galus, the galus of Edom, and he speaks about the galus of Esav and how Esav was like the chazir, Esav is like the pig, and he pretends to be from, and he's not from at all. And the kliyakar, he says it in a certain way. He says, 'I have to be careful not to say too much. I already said too much.' But he speaks about the danger of being in certain exiles where there are certain governments that pretend to be all holy, all moral, or virtuous, and these governments, he says, you should know they're the most dangerous ones. And we see that We see that not in our lifetimes, but our grandparents told us The Nazis yimachshemam. Those of you today, it's Yom HaShoah. The Nazis yimachshemam were the most educated elite. Moral society that existed.

8:26 A person says the klayakar should be very careful of those types of influences. Of course, those guys that are treif on the outside, but the guys that are kosher on the outside but treif on the inside, says the klayakar. The Torah says it in the order it says it in key. Why is it not kosher? Because it has those kosher simanim. That's what makes it so dangerous because it has those kosher simanim. You could fall for the trap and say that guy is not a negative influence. Look at that guy; he's hugging like crazy. But you should know that guy is a very dangerous negative influence. That's what the kliyakar says. It's a beautiful kliyakar. It's a kliyakar that we all need to be sensitive to. But there's two more divrei Torah here that need to be shared because this kliyakar requires further explanation Because. How could we leave it like that?

9:18 How could we just look at a Jew and say negative influence? It doesn't sound like the type of Torah that we're accustomed to speaking about here in yeshiva. So there is another var A vart that also needs to be carefully listened to. It's a vart from Rabbi Yisrael Salanter. You guys know who Rabbi Yisrael Salanter was, the founder of the Mussar movement. This Rabbi Yisrael Salanter is an unbelievable And he says as follows: Let's look. At the pesukim carefully, you'll notice that there's three different tenses going on over here. First, it says uparsa einenu mafres. The hoof is not split. The next one regarding the hyrax, the pasuk says uparsa lo yafres, the hoof will not split. And finally, regarding the hair, it says uparsa lo hefrisa, it was not split. It's fascinating," says Rabbi Yisrael Salanter. "It's is Will, and was. It's what it currently is in the present. It's what it will not do in the future, and it's what it was not.

10:30 Says Rabbi Yisrael Salanter as follows: "Of course, what the kli Yakar said is a hundred percent true." A person has to be very careful of negative influences in their life, and chas v'shalom for a person to play fast and loose with their friendships. With their circle of friends, you should know, like the rosh says, GOC. You got to be a part of a growth-oriented chevra, and when you get older, be part of a growth-oriented shul and a growth-oriented community. The people that you surround yourself with will have, for sure, a tremendous impact. But says Rav Yisrael Salanter Who amongst us can write off a Jew? Are you ready to say that he's missing all three of these things? That he was never good, that he will never be good, and he is no good right now? Can we say that about any Jew? Maybe you see a Jew right now, and he's not behaving so well. But was he always that way? He used to be a good kid. So he has a redeeming quality. And how do you know what he'll be in the future?

11:24 So there's a balance. There's a dance over here. You be careful about negative influences. But Chas v'Shalom, who amongst us is ready to say that there's no goodness in another person? That he wasn't good, and he will never be good, and he isn't good right now? Are we so sure? Are we so sure in yeshiva that we could say this? Are we so sure we're ready to write a guy off because he missed shachers today, because he wasn't the starker guy in the beis medrash, because he battled? You ready to write him off? He didn't have a good day in yeshiva the entire time. There was never a moment where he was good. Are you ready to write off his future? He never will be good. Are you so sure you have the shoulders to do that? You want to say I have to be careful around such a person because I don't want the influence. That's for sure. But how do you teach him up? Careful how you touch up another Jew.

12:11 This is the mussar that Rabbi Yisrael Salanter gives us, and it's a beautiful addendum to that kliyaker. But there's a third piece of taira here that needs to be included in this as well. It's a beautiful finish, an unbelievable chiddah. The chiddah says as follows: There's, I'm not going to get into the to all the details of where we see this. There's a ritva that speaks about this concept, but there's a concept called Pesach devarecha yair. Start with the positive. Whenever you're talking to somebody, start with the positive. Whenever you're looking at somebody and you see some negative influence there, maybe you see some negative midos that need to be recognized because again, you don't want somebody to be a negative influence on you. But the chiddush says when you think about somebody, start with the positive. It's an unbelievable medrash. The medrash says that the word pig is chazir. You know why? Because one day the pig will become kosher. It will chazar. It will return itself to Klal Yisrael. And the Ritva says in Kedushin, there's a Ritva in Kedushin that Hashem ultimately will make the pig kosher for Klal Yisrael. And the Arachayim Hakadosh says that the pig that sticks out its hoof and says, 'Look at me, I'm kosher.' The Arachayim says one day the pig will actually chew its cud.

13:28 That it'll change its nature and it'll chew its cud. I want to share with you an unbelievable idea. The Chiddush doesn't say this, but I think it's what the Chiddush means. You know why the pig is going to be a chazar? You know why he's going to be chozer b'tshuva? Because the pig had friends who were around him who said he's going to return. They looked at him and they said, "He doesn't chew its cud, but he's got split hooves, completely split hooves." Because when they looked at that Jew who was suffering, like the Kli Yakar, they said, 'There's a negative influence there.' Of course, like Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, they were never going to write him off. Who are we to write off another Jew that we couldn't find some redeeming moment? But more than that They looked at the positive. And when you look at the positive in a person, you know what happens? That person transforms. You see the positive in somebody, you pour gasoline on that fire. That's what transforms them. There's a danger when we look at another Jew and we only see the negative. It's not just a danger for us that we're acting in a negative way, but we're influencing that person to be his worst self.

14:33 The godless of Aaron Akayin. How did Aaron Akayin make shalom between people? Because he saw their beauty And he said, you're fighting with your husband. Your husband loves you so much. What do you mean your husband loves you so much? You got into a big fight with him. But Aaron Akayin looked at the positive and he said, I see the love that he has for you, and he told the husband the same thing about the wife. He saw who they really were. He saw the positive, and because he saw the positive, the Rambam in Avos says, 'Person heard Aaron Cohen, the way that Aaron Cohen spoke about them, the gentleness that he looked upon them with' And they started to change because somebody saw them in a positive light. If you put all these three tiras together, there's a very obvious message being sent to us. Step number one to that Talmud, who is concerned about those nechoshes Jews, but Rebbe, won't they have a negative influence on me?

15:24 We have the kliyakar for you. We have the kliyakar for you. You're nervous about negative influences. That's understandable. But that kliyakar needs to be understood in context. You want to say he's a negative influence. You want to maintain your distance. That's fine. But don't you dare write another Jew off. Don't you tell me that you're not going to find something in him. Something in his past, maybe even something in his present, and for sure something in his future that tells you that this Jew has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And finally, we have the chida. You want to say he's a negative influence? That's fine. But he still has redeeming qualities, and more than that. If you focus on those redeeming qualities, you'll create a massive transformation in that person. But why are we speaking about this now? Why are we speaking about this in the first mishmar back? I tricked all of you just now.

16:15 The word that I just told you It is about outside influences, but really it's not about outside influences at all. A young man came to yeshiva today. And he said, "Rebbe, we have to talk." And he said to me He didn't use these words. I'm exaggerating a little bit. That's rabbinic license. All rabbis, when they tell stories, it's always a little bit of sugar. It's always Ms, but it's a little bit of shaker. It's exaggerated for the point. I'm being honest enough to tell you that it's a little bit exaggerated. But he basically said, and I think he's probably in the room right now. So I want to be careful with the way that I say it. But I think he'll be moated to this. Turns out, Rabbi, I'm a big faker. Turns out, I'm a big faker. I came to yeshiva. I was studying and doing well.

17:04 I learned, I davened, I was making my mignonim. Hit beinazmanim. I had it set up for myself. I was gonna have a chavruta, make a minion, be mechabit my parents, and I started off strong. I was doing it. I was hitting my minion. I made my star. I followed what I was gonna do. I was on the plan. Rabbi, I had one bad day. One bad day begets another. Avera gareres avera. I missed a minion. Then I missed another. I started going to the later minion. The learning became shorter. Then all of a sudden, there were days that I wasn't learning at all. I started missing minyanim. I promised myself I was going to be mechabit my parents by the end of the trip. I felt like I was back to my old high school self. I'm a faker. I'm a faker. That's what he said. I'm a faker.

17:53 You try to say to a guy, "Okay, sit there." You want to calm him down. But really, and this guy's in the room, he knows I'm talking to him. But it's for all of us because I think all of us, on some level, we all experience this. None of us were perfect over Ben Azmanim. Ben Azmanim is, as Rav Shach said, man ha beinonim. It's an in-between time. It's not a time to take off from yeshiva. It's an in-between time, in-between times of yeshiva. But when we're not in yeshiva and we're not in the structure of yeshiva, I imagine that many of us, including myself Did not always act according to our highest self. And so we start to teach ourselves. We start to define ourselves by our lowest moments, and we say, "Look at me!" I'm a negative influence. I'm a faker. I'm a hypocrite. I'm the pig that sticks out its foot and says, 'Look at me! I'm kosher.' Came back from Vassar. I'm all stark now.

18:43 Came back from whatever yeshiva I came from. I'm all stark now. And then I wasn't 100% perfect. I'm a hypocrite. I'm the chazir. I chew my cud. I don't chew my cud, but I've got those split hooves. I'm a faker. I'm the guy the klayakar warns you about. But you're also the guy that Rabbi Yisrael Salanter spoke to us about. Maybe you had a bad moment But are you ready to write yourself off? Are you ready to write yourself off? You'll have no better future moments. You can end your entire career because of a bein asmanim when you were 18 and 19 years old. There's never going to be a moment of tshuva when you're 30, 35, or 40 years old. That's it. You ready to write yourself off forever? Rabbi, I'm never done. You never had a good moment up until now. You're throwing out the baby with the bathwater. You have no redeeming qualities here. The last six months of your life, it's like they didn't happen.

19:37 The same way that a person can't write off somebody else, you can't write off yourself. And I'll tell you a secret: the guys who write off the other guys It's because they've written off themselves. And the guys who say everybody has a redeeming quality, it's because they found that redeeming quality within themselves. We see the world according to who we are, not according to the way the world is. If you can be malamed chus for yourself, you can be malamed chus for somebody else. If you can't be malamed chus for somebody else, if you can't find that nukuda taiva, if you can't find something in their future, in their present, or in their past to be malamed chus for them, it's only because you haven't found that for yourself. And go ahead, define yourself by your negativity. Define yourself by your avers. Define yourself by your lowest moments. Define yourself by your mistakes. But you know what'll happen if you pour gasoline on that fire? It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

20:33 So you slipped. So you made a mistake. Welcome to the world of imperfection. The Rebbeinu Sholom did not create us to be malachim. He's not interested in malachim. He has malachim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants imperfect Jews doing godly things, and we are all imperfect. But we can choose to focus on our nefesh abahamis. We can choose to focus on the tayvis raus that we have. We can choose to say, "Look at my averas," or we can choose to say, "Fundamentally, I'm a good person, and I made a mistake, and I tripped and I fell." And I want you to know, Rabbi Say, this chida It's for every one of us. Because even right now, as I'm speaking, I promise you that 95 of the guys in the room are going Yeah, but I am that person who made that mistake And I need to be real about that because otherwise, it's not accountability.

21:28 Rabbi, say you're fooling yourself. Accountability begins with knowing that you are worthy of being held accountable. If we put a shirt into the washing machine because it has a stain on it. Fundamentally, we're saying this shirt is a good shirt. It has a stain on it, so I have to wash it. It's a good shirt. If it's no longer a good shirt, we don't bother to wash it. We just throw it out. If you can't say about yourself fundamentally, I'm a good person. That had a yirida. I made a mistake. I had a fall. I slipped. I tumbled. I ended up in a place that wasn't the best place for me to end up in. But you're still a good person fundamentally. You're still a kadosh. Every single morning we say in davening, what do we declare? I'm imperfect, but fundamentally I have a godly soul. I have a nefesh shalokis. I'm good.

22:23 I'm godly. The mistakes that I make don't define me. And Rabbi Sa, if you think this is a chesidish avart If you think this is one of those, Berg Mishmar, you're trying to make us feel good. You're wrong. You're wrong. It's not about that at all. This is emes. We have to see ourselves through the lens of compassion; otherwise, you're not perceiving the truth. Every single day in davening, we say Avinu Aveh Arachman Hamirachem Racheim Aleinu. The same b'li beinu lahavenu lahaskil. What does Rachmanus have to do with bina and seichel? What does it have to do with understanding? Understanding begins by seeing the world and yourself through the lens of compassion. If you can't see yourself in a compassionate way, you're not seeing yourself. If you can't see Yehem in a compassionate way, if you can't look at him and see his best qualities, you never saw him a day in your life.

23:17 There's a guy in this room. I want you to know I love this guy. I think he's one of the rock stars of yeshiva. But for a long time in his life He was defined negatively because people didn't understand him. Friends didn't understand him. Rebbeim didn't understand him. Certainly administrations didn't understand him. He got tiched. He got defined. He was told for a very long time. You're not the guy. I'm sorry for being emotional about what I'm about to say. He's the guy. He's the guy. And chaval for all those people that looked at him with that Soros iron. Through the lens of their own negativity about themselves, they couldn't see him for who he was. You should know those people had no rachmanes for themselves, and so they took it out on this guy. If he had had more people in his life, because he had some, but if he had had more people in his life that told him who he really is If they would have said, "you're the chazir"

24:29 You're going to be chazir, you're going to return. Look at you, look at those beautiful hoofs that you have. You don't yet chew your cud. One day you're going to chew your cud. But look at those beautiful hooves. If this guy would have heard that, he would have transformed. Every one of us has a responsibility to say it to that guy. Every one of us has a responsibility to say it to ourselves. Because if we can't say it to ourselves, then we can't say it about somebody else. It's frightening. It's frightening what we do to others when we're not aware of what's going on inside of ourselves. Because we critique ourselves so harshly and deeply, we take it out on others. So you had a tough Benazmanim. Shkayach, welcome to the club of Bnei Torah that have stumbled and fallen upon their way to greatness.

25:17 The journey was never supposed to be glatt. The journey was never supposed to be clean. It was never supposed to be obvious, and it was never supposed to be easy. Because if it was easy, everybody could do it. You want to know where greatness is found, Rabbi Say? It's not found in perfection. Greatness is found in those people that after they fall They can look at their positive qualities, like Revolba writes in Olé Shor, and they say, "That's who I really am." This was the fake. I'll finish with a beautiful story from the Bavitzer Rebbe. Somebody came to the Rebbe and said, "Rebbe, I'm not going to shul on Yom Kippur this year." He said, "Why not?" He said, "Because I'm a faker and I'm sick of being a faker. I don't go to shul 364 days a year. Why should I go to shul on Yom Kippur?" So the rebbe looked at him in only the way that the rebbe could, with his brilliant sharpness, and he said to this guy, "I agree with you. You're a tremendous faker. 364 days a year, you're a faker."

26:11 One day a year, you're real. Don't give up on the one day a year that you're real. The day that you're real is Yom Kippur. Go to shul. And he went. 364 days a year, we're a faker, but one day we're real. Which one do you want to be? Do you want to be the guy that says I'm at my lowest moments and then take that out on everybody else? Or do you want to be the guy that says I'll kind of shama shanasa to be tahiri and I see the beauty in others? So to this guy who asked me, this beautiful shiloh, what are the negative influences? I say to him, you're right. You have to be careful about negative influence. But don't write off other Jews, and don't chas v'shalom define Jews by their lowest moments. Because if you do, you're not saying anything about them. You're saying a lot about yourself. And believe me, that's not something you should say. Because you're also beautiful, and halavai you should know your own beauty so that you can see beauty in others.