Ki Tavo - Grateful For The Dream, Grateful For The Reality

2:24 See, part of the challenge of falling in love with Judaism is you can't just learn the halachos. You have to understand what's the underpinning of the halacha. What's driving everything? Once you understand the deeper meaning of the halacha, then all of a sudden things start to become exciting. Things start to become joyous to us. So the question that we're going to ask, the first question of today's she'er is, what is the inner message of the Gemara and what is the inner message of the Sifrei? That's our first question for the night. For those that don't know, usually we like to start off the she'er by asking a couple of questions and then showing one idea that answers all the questions. Second question for the night is as follows: What is the mitzvah of Bikurim really all about? Rashi tells us the Ferish. By the way, it's also brought down in the Sefer Achinuch very similarly. Rashi says as follows: The pasuk says, 'Ubaasa el a Cohen asher yir byamimahem.' You'll come to the Kohanim that they had in those days. Va'amarta elav, and you will say to him. Rashi on the spot says, 'Va'amarta elav, she'encha kafvoy tova.'

3:27 What do you come and say? I was not. What does kafvoy tova mean? I was not ungrateful. The mitzvah of bikurim is expressing gratitude. The mitzvah of bikurim is expressing gratitude to Hashem. So now we have another question: Does it really matter if I'm grateful right away when I enter the land? Or if I'm only grateful when the land is conquered? In other words, we're making the question deeper. Our original question was: What's the inner message of the Gemara? What's the inner message of the Sefirot? But now we have a much bigger problem. Because if the whole mitzvah of bikkurim is about gratitude So then what's the difference if I express my gratitude as soon as I come into Eretz Yisrael, or if I start expressing my gratitude only when the land is conquered? It seems to be apples and oranges. What does gratitude have to do with conquering the land? What does gratitude have to do with entering the land? Those are for tonight. We're only going to ask two questions, but those are the two questions we're asking. Number one: What's the inner machlokas between The Sifri and the Gemara. Number two, what is the, what does any of this have to do with gratitude? Those are our two questions.

4:42 I want to share with you an answer that I saw, and again, it's my take on it, but it's an answer that I saw from the Labavitcher Rebbe. And it's a stunning, gorgeous, amazing answer. And I think it's a good way for us to start the year in Torma Devora. Or at least for me to start the year in Torma Devora. When do girls get here? I haven't been following Mrs. Lyft's status. When did you girls get here? Ten days ago. Ten days ago. Wow. We're late in the process. Oh my gosh! It's already ten days. Do you remember when you were on the plane judging everybody else? We're already ten days into this. Too soon. Too true. The same jokes every year. You guys get bored of them. Girls, I want to share with you. Welcome back. There's this thing we call a Toma Devora moment. If I have any ADHD moment, I lose the entire room. I know how this works. It's my fault. It's eight forty or not five at night. I got to stay focused.

5:43 Goes like this. There's something called rational And there's something called supra-rational. Supra-rational, supra, S-U-P-R-A, supra-rational doesn't mean that something is irrational. It means it's larger than rational. What would be an example of this? I'll give it to you first, and not a Jewish example, and then a Jewish example. Super rational is love. Love has nothing to do with logic. Rational is not love. It's what you love about someone. So what does it sound like? It goes like this. If some of you are dating your husband and now you're at that stage where you're like we're getting engaged, it's over, and you know you have that awkward two week period where you've already decided you're getting engaged, but it didn't work out for his family to get engaged at exactly this time, so you have to wait another two weeks. You don't know it yet, but that's exactly what's going to happen. I remember with my wife when we were about to get engaged, and her mother asked me, "Oh well, it doesn't work for me to come to New York until this day, so can you wait until Matzah Shabbos?" And I went to a wedding. And one of my wife's friends was there, and she came over to me and she said, "What is wrong with you?"

6:59 What are you doing?" And I'm like First of all, hello. Second of all, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a man. Why would I actually? Why would I know what I'm doing? She's gonna break up with you. Why? She said, 'Because she was expecting to get engaged already.' I said, 'I wanted to.' Her mother told me to wait. She said, 'Nobody listens to her mother.' But that's what happens, right? It's bad timing. When you're in that period, when you're about to get engaged, and somebody says, 'Why do you love him?' There's no answer to that question. Because what could you possibly say? If you say I love him because I think he's going to be a good father, then you don't love him. You love your kids. If you say I love him because he's going to be a good provider You don't love him. You love. That was too quick. You girls are good. I can see. I'm not going to say that joke.

7:48 Something's better left unsaid. If a husband says, "I love my wife because she's a good cook," you don't love her; you love food. Clearly You can't ever say why you love someone, and the truth of the matter is It wouldn't even make sense to try. Because what could you possibly say? Definitely love a trait about someone. A trait about someone, but about someone is not a trait. What makes someone? Exactly, that's a great question. But let's put it this way: if what makes someone is only their traits, what happens when those traits go away? So if somebody says, 'I love him because he's a good father,' but now let's say he's having a tough time at work and he's not being a great father, do you stop loving him? But your deep core traits are part of you. What would be a deep core trait that's a part of you?

8:44 If somebody got really sick, and let's say you loved the fact that they were intelligent, but let's say they got a brain tumor, would you love them less? Because a person is not their brain. So then, what's a person? That's a great question. One thing we know for sure is that it's not their traits. So you're saying you love their neshama, because it has to be something. But when you say, you make it when you say you make it sound so from. But that answer is going to end up circulating too. Because there's something about a person that comes before. We try to be respectful, everyone. There's something about a person that comes before the way they show up in the world. You're not limited, and this is really important. You're not limited to the way you behave. I might love something about you because I love you, and I can't possibly explain why that is. It's not illogical. It's higher than logic. That's why sometimes when you see somebody who loves somebody, you're like really That's the person you chose.

9:48 It's true. You'll go to a lechayim. You'll do this. You won't say it out loud because you're very polite. But sometimes you go to a lechayim and you go and you're like, you'll see the girl the guy married, and you go. And you do it like this, very politely, and only to yourself. You go like this: Go. That's the whole thing. But it's not a bad thing Because the reason why different people like different people has nothing to do with logic. After it's super irrational, it becomes rational. Because then you could say, since I love him, here are the things I love about him. But you shouldn't confuse. Ask me a third. You shouldn't confuse what you love about a person and the person themselves. By the way, in case you don't believe me, it's a Mishnah in Avos. If you think deeply about it, it's a Mishnah in Avos. What does the Mishnah in Avos say?

10:36 A hava sheteluya bedaver If you love someone because of a thing, then you don't love them at all. If you love someone because of their intellect, then you don't love them. You love their intellect, and if their intellect is gone, then they're gone, right? It's not true. If you really love them, it doesn't matter what intellect they have. If you really love them, it doesn't matter if they had a bad day, a bad week, or a bad month. If you really love them, you love them. Don't like you always learn that love is loving them despite their flaws. Wouldn't it be the same thing as loving despite their flaws and despite their poetry? That's right. Because I love them. And I can't explain why that is. Because if I could explain why that is, that would be bringing it down into the world of the rational, and it should be in both. It should be in both. The thing about love is that it starts off as supra-rational, but then, like everything in life, if you want to assimilate it into your life, it needs to become rational. If you're walking around and going, "I just love him" That's so nice. But where does it manifest itself? I like the way he thinks. I like the respect that he shows people. Now that love comes into reality. It assimilates into reality through logic.

11:49 The better example of this not actually in the world. The better example of this in Judaism. There's something called faith, emuna. Emuna is not logical. When we say anachnu maaminim b'nei maaminim, what do we mean by that? We mean the nature of the Jewish soul is to be deeply connected to Hashem. Every Jew is deeply connected to Hashem. That's super irrational. But if it stops there, you're a child. It's beautiful, but if it stops there, you're a child. Because when you have faith in God, what should happen? It has to assimilate itself now into the world of the rational. When a seminary girl says, "I'm not making fun," but when you have a seminary girl, "I love Hashem," really? What does that mean? It means you feel some sort of deep connection to Hashem. But if you can't then express it in words, if you can't bring it down into the realm of the rational, something is missing. There's something about it that's not a hundred percent glatt.

12:46 It's like you love Hashem, you love His Torah. You want to learn something from Hashem. You want to be able to express it in words. I love the concept of selflessness. I love the concept of Chesed. I love the concept of Tzedakah. I love the concept that we find God in every single Jew. My faith tells me there is a God, and I find God within the godly soul of every single person. So that's not God Himself. That's about Hashem because I love Hashem. I love things about Hashem. Does that make sense? So here's the thing. Let's talk now, but same concept. We're going to bring it into a different universe, just for a moment. Same concept like love. Same concept like faith. Let's bring it into a different concept, just for a moment. I want to talk to you for a moment about dreams and reality.

13:39 Is a dream super rational or is a dream rational? Super rational. In your dreams, you're not limited to the world of the rational. Isn't that true? There's something amazing about dreams But the thing is, if you have a dream—and I don't just mean a dream at night— When does the dream begin to get corrupted? The moment you wake up. But I don't just mean that in the sense of waking up in the morning. Take a moment to imagine what it was like when Rabbi Finkel and Rabbi Rosenstein The year before they started Toma Devora. The year before they started Talmud Torah, I imagine that they sat in Rabbi Ficks' house and Rabbi Rosenstein's house, and I imagine that for an entire year they just dreamed of this seminary. What happens on the first day that the girls show up? What happens to that dream? And that's a challenge.

14:42 Because in the moment that it becomes reality, the dream loses all of its purity. Because now you have to deal with the reality of how to assimilate that dream into the world. So you could have faith, and faith by itself is pure. But the moment you try to take faith into logic, because you need to, because in order for faith to become real in your life, you need to be able to articulate it. But the moment you articulate it, what happens to it? It loses a little bit of its purity. A mother who can lift a car to save her child—what is that? Super rational or rational? That's super rational. That's incredible. It's so pure. Look at the superhuman strength of a mother's love in an instant where there's no logic whatsoever. What would happen the moment it became logical? If a woman is sitting there and she sees her baby trapped under the car, if she even asks herself for a moment, "Can I lift up this car?" What would the answer be?

15:40 She wouldn't be able to do it. Why? Because the power comes from the dream. The power is lost in reality. But if you don't bring it down into reality, then all it ever is a dream. You see the challenge. The challenge of life is how do I do a dream and reality? How do I bring something into reality without losing the purity of the dream? I can't stay in the dream because then there's nothing real about it. If you say you love your husband, but you can't tell me anything about him, then you don't love your husband. That's why I didn't like your answer before about neshama. It's too frum. But try not to do that. The idea that I love you for no reason. But if I just love you for no reason, then what do we really have? It has to become reality. But the problem is, once it becomes reality, that's a danger, because now if I'm just talking about what I love about you, what happens when the things about you change? Everybody changes.

16:40 Everybody changes. The challenge is a friend of mine said this to me this summer. It's a brilliant line. He said, "The challenge is we need dating classes and marriage classes, not when you're first married. We need them ten years later." I said, "Why do you think we need marriage classes ten years later?" He said, "Because that's when the contract has clearly changed." Because the person you marry at twenty-one is not the same person at thirty-one, and not the same person at forty-one. Because we're evolving creatures. That's why the point of bashert is not marrying the one; it's marrying somebody you can constantly become one with. Even though everybody is constantly changing. So the idea is, I love you for no reason. Here are the things I love about you, but I can't make the love that I have for you into the only love. I can't lose sight of the dream. I can't lose sight of the super rational, because then I don't love you anymore. I only love things about you. If my faith becomes intellectual, is it faith anymore? That's logic.

17:37 But if my faith stays without any logic, is my faith intelligent? Is my faith part of my life? So people are going. I have a moonupshuta. That's nice. But what happens when the going gets tough? What happens when you need to be able to answer hard questions like, why am I in so much pain and why did God do this to me? There's a reason that all the svarim for thousands of years have been dealing with these issues. A person who learns chavas l'avavos, who takes their faith and puts it into logic, has the ability to be able to answer hard questions in difficult times. A person who has a munabshuta can't necessarily do that. I want to tell you an amazing thing. I was blown away by this. A guy that I know, I wish I could say he was my friend. We were friendly.

18:24 A guy that I know who lived in Mevaseret. He's an amazing person. I'm blown away by him. Unfortunately, tragically His wife passed away this summer. I'm not going to get into the details. I'm sure a bunch of you heard about it. His wife was an unbelievable person. She died a hero. Unfortunately, her house burnt down, and she ran into the house over and over again to save her children and saved all of them. For those of you that heard the story. But unfortunately, along the way, she lost her life. The burns were so bad that she passed away. And of course, you watched the levaya. I couldn't make it out to the levaya; didn't have a car. But of course, you watched the levaya, and it was beautiful. Thousands upon thousands of Jews donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to help the family. You can't imagine what the family is going through. And everybody was so incredible. The speeches, the eulogies by the levaya were heartbreaking, but they were stunning and gorgeous.

19:22 Beautiful little children crying for their mother. A brother in law who spoke on behalf of his wife, who's a rebbe and mevaseret, gave one of the most meaningful hasphatum I've ever heard in my entire life. And then the husband got up to speak And the husband is a real breslover. He's a real breslover. He's not just like an uman rasha shana breslover. He's somebody who like really studies Rabbi Nachman's Torah very deeply. He has unbelievable emunah pshuta, but he's clearly assimilated it into his life. And he got up by the levaya. And this was the most heartbreaking moment of the entire levaya. And he said, "Hashem" I know that everything you do is good. And I feel like I'm just a dog running around the car, not understanding how it works. But Hashem I'm not upset at you. I'm not angry at you. I know that everything you did was good. And I'm sitting there watching this levaya, and I'm blowing my eyes out.

20:16 Where did Arye get that from? Where did he get that from? And I spent a lot of time thinking about this. This man just suffered the worst tragedy of his entire life. His life is changed, and there's no going back. There are moments in time where your life goes off the rails, and that's it. You never go back from those moments. And he just suffered one of them. His response is, "Hashem, I know you're good, and I know you love me." And I'm like, "Where did he get that from?" It occurred to me that all the years that he was sitting and learning all of Rabbi Nachman's Torah He was developing the emunah pshuta for that exact moment. And I was so jealous is not the right word But I was so inspired. I got to work on my emuna so that when the time comes, I'll be able to have that reaction.

21:02 If it had remained emuna pshuta, he couldn't have done what he did. But on the other hand, imagine if Chas v'Shalom his faith just became this intellectual exercise, and he was able to give you the Rambam's answer and the Ramban's answer, and he was like all the different philosophers throughout time. That's not a moona anymore. That's just logic. The reason we say 'mod ani' says the Lubavitcher Rebbe. 'Mod ani' is one of the deepest filos. The Lubavitcher Rebbe says, 'The reason why we say "mod ani" right away when you wake up, you would think that we should wake up, wash nagelvasser, get ourselves settled, have a coffee, have a donut, and every single day we should say "mod ani" with kavana, carefully thinking about every word. Why do we wake up in the morning, open our eyes, and say "mod ani"?') You do it before you're barely conscious.

21:49 The Rebbe says that because Moda Ani is such a powerful tefillah, it needs to be right in between the space of dream and reality. It needs to seamlessly thread both of them. The deepest philosophical concepts brought into the world in words, but they have to draw their strength from the world of dreams before it's logical, before it's rational. You understand? Let's go back to Bikurin. It's an unbelievable art. It's really such a special virtue. So the Rebbe says as follows: Take a look. The Rebbe says Let's first look at the Gemara. When do you have gratitude? When do you have gratitude? The Rebbe says, "According to the Gemara" You can't have gratitude when it's just a concept. Gratitude is something that happens for a reality. You can't have gratitude for a concept. You have gratitude when something is tangible. You don't have gratitude to your parents for this amorphous, super irrational love. You have gratitude to your parents because they put a roof over your head.

22:59 Because they put food on the table. Because in difficult times they sat with you and they talked to you and they loved you into being. You have gratitude to your parents because they paid your tuition, because they put you on a plane, because they bought you clothing. Gratitude is tangible. Says the Rebbe, according to the Gemara, why we bring Bikurim only when you conquered Eretz Yisrael? Because how could you have gratitude before that? What would you have gratitude for? Or to put it a little bit differently According to the Gemara You can't have gratitude right now for Tumah Devora. You can't. You don't even know what Tumah Devora is yet. You've been here a week and a half. But in June June is a totally different story. In June, hopefully, you'll have a massive amount of gratitude. In June, you're going to be saying when you get to the end of the year banquet and you're writing your letters, "Thank you so much for that conversation that we had. Thank you so much for that class that you gave."

24:01 Thank you so much for staying a little bit extra. Thank you for having me at your house for Shabbos. Thank you for that meal. I know you went the extra mile. It's concretized. Thank you for putting me on your status. My mother saw that and she liked it. Even though I didn't bring takis, I don't know what it is. Gratitude is something tangible. If somebody came to you right now and said, "Are you grateful for Tzom Dvar?" You'd be like, "I don't even know. I'm just still kind of figuring it out." It's right now. It's just a dream. What can I have gratitude for? But on the other hand According to the Sifrei. Gratitude is a little bit different. Imagine what it was like for Klal Yisrael in the desert for forty years. Where are we going? We're going to Eretz Yisrael. We're going to Eretz Yisrael for forty years. We're going to Eretz Yisrael.

24:58 It's amazing to think about. You get revved up, you get excited. It's Moshe Rabbeinu's swan song. We're here in Sefer Devarim. We're almost at the end of Sefer Devarim. Moshe Rabbeinu is going to pass away soon. Soon, it's going to be time for Yeshu. We're going to go into the land. What are you feeling in that moment? You're feeling excited. And as soon as you step over the threshold, as soon as you enter into the land, and really enter, enter means with all of your being. There's halachos about entering. Did you know that? For example, when is it considered as if someone went to mikva and they're purified only when they've fully immersed in the water? When does a keli become purified only when it's fully immersed in the water? If somebody has a house of tzaras, when do they get tzaras? Only when they fully entered in. You could fully enter in different ways. You could fully enter in and say, "I conquered the land" Or you could say, 'I fully entered in because I haven't yet lost the dream of what was.'

25:52 The moment you enter Eretz Yisrael, what starts to happen? It's like Moed Ani in the morning. The fully entering is, 'I conquered the land,' but I entered in, but I haven't yet lost the purity of the dream. Can I tell you what this is like? It's like what all of you are experiencing right now. Do you remember last year? Wasn't that long ago? You were in high school. And of course, probably for 95% of you, you knew you were going to Israel for the year. It's like 13th grade. It's not even a question.

26:21 And remember, in the beginning of the year, that girls were saying, "I think a girl or a teacher says, they do the thing where they put you in boxes. I think you're like this type of girl, so you should look at these three seminaries, and you're this type of girl, so you should look at these three seminaries. They put you in those little boxes, and you start to get excited. And maybe you spoke to a girl who was in a seminary, and she said, "Oh, it's amazing, you love it here." And maybe you spoke to a girl in a different seminary, and she said, "Oh, it's amazing, you love it here." But then she said some things that you didn't really like. And so then, at some point, you finally got it in your head, "I'm going to Tomer Devorah." And you had your interview, and you got in. What a joyous day! Do they still send out papers? You get an email now? Is that how it works? Used to be they sent out papers. When I went to Mevaseret in 1998, you got a paper in the mail. I saved that paper. That was my. You're looking at it, and you're dreaming of it, like it's gonna come. I remember before we made Aliyah, we had bought a house on paper

27:13 And I remember that I would sit there and I would just look at the plans, sitting in my little apartment in America, and I would just look at the plans and I go How can I raise a family And they have all these pictures and the brochures, none of them look anything like my house, just like you're dreaming, it's like it's gonna be amazing, right And the moment you step into the land, what starts to happen. The purity of that dream starts to disappear. The moment you make aliyah, you know what you have to do: fill out a massive amount of paperwork, and you have to deal with Israelis. And all of a sudden, all the things you dreamt of—it's like, wait a second, it's real life here, also. The same way when you were in twelfth grade and you said, "Oh, Tel Aviv is going to be amazing" And it is, but you got off the plane and you were like, 'Wait! I didn't think it was going to be like this. I thought I was going to get along with everybody right away. I thought it was going to be less clicky. Maybe it's a little bit more clicky, but it's not so clicky. But it is clicky. I heard in different seminars more clicky.

28:06 Remember when you were on the plane and the joke I made earlier, but it wasn't a joke. Remember you were on the plane. You're going, "Shoot, did I make a mistake?" I remember being on the plane a little bit. By the way, just be careful with your faces because some of you just gave yourselves away big time. A whole bunch of you just went like this. You are the girl I'm talking to. I remember when I was on the plane. I won't look at you. Don't worry. I remember when I was on the plane coming to Mivasaret, I was sitting there going, "Oh man, I chose the wrong yeshiva. I chose the wrong yeshiva. I was looking around. I was like, I chose the wrong yeshiva. This is not my yeshiva. I only figured out that I chose the right yeshiva when we landed in Ben Gurion Airport. We landed in Ben Gurion, and everyone's waiting. We landed. What do you think I meant? Even on the way back. Landed in, not took off from. Landed in Ben Gurion Airport.

28:54 And we're all standing around by the baggage. And all of a sudden, I look up, and there's a guy on the baggage claim going around in circles. And he's laid out like a piece of luggage. It's my fault. It's a Toma Devora moment. He's laid out like a piece of luggage, and he's just going around. I'm thinking, it's good shtick, right? But he'll get off. He was waiting for someone to claim him. Which was even better. Because no one was claiming it. And I'm sitting there going, okay, he's gonna get off soon, right? Like the moment where it goes from funny to awkward, but then to funny again. This guy got there; he was fine with himself. And finally, somebody literally picked him up and claimed him and put him in their metal cart. And I was like, I'm home. They're morons. I like those guys. I knew these are my friends. By the way, some of those guys, most growth-oriented guys in yeshiva, after a year, those guys were like amazing. And by the way, they still got on the baggage carousel.

29:55 One of the biggest talmidei chachamim to come at Mevaser Ma'ir came to Mevaser in a flannel shirt and overalls, and he introduced himself to me. He goes, "Hi, I'm Adam. I'm a hick." "We could be friends." And he became a huge talmudcham. The dream loses its purity when you actually have to do the work. In a certain way, this is the key. You're most grateful right now. You're most grateful before you've had to lose the purity of it. You're most grateful when you're like This is everything I've been hoping for. Before you've lost that sense of wonder. It's like, in a certain way, you're most grateful for your husband when you're first married. Of course You're also going to be grateful 60 years later. You can say we settled Not settled for each other. We settled. We like made a life together. We built something together. There's unbelievable joy in expressing gratitude for something. At the end, I'll tell you one of the most beautiful stories that I ever had with my rebbe.

31:02 My rebbe is ninety-six years old. He should be zaychad or full shleima. Many, many years ago, I was sitting in my rebbe's kitchen apartment in Borough Park. And my rebbe had a very small kitchen. And I was sitting with my rebbe, and the Rebbezim was there. And my rebbe at the time was in his seventies. And he had pictures on his fridge. And the pictures of his family Because Baruch Hashem he had a bunch of children, they had a bunch of children, and they had a bunch of children. So it must have been like a family wedding, they used like a fish eye lens to get everybody in the picture. So I made a joke to my Rebbe. I said, Rebbe, it looks more like a tribe than it does a family. So my Rebbe was a very serious Talmud scholar. He goes We're very blessed. And the Rebbitzin who was right there, the Rebbitzin was a very sensitive person. My Rebbe was like a much more cold, intellectual, brisker. He wasn't really cold, but that's the way people thought of him.

31:55 The Rebbitzin was a marriage therapist. She was like a social worker. She was the most loving, warm, emotional person. The two of them together were night and day. I remember one time I was in my Rebbe's house and he had two paintings. One was of rolling meadows and was beautiful sunshine. The other was a dark forest and they were right next to each other. And I was sitting with my Rebbe in his house and he looks at me. He says, "Mordechai, see these two pictures?" I said, "Yeah." He says, That's me, and that's my wife. I was like, okay. So the rabbi's son is right there, and I said, "Looks more like a tribe than a family." And my rabbi said, "Baruch Hashem." And the rabbi's son looked at my rabbi, and she said And all from a couple of kids that had no idea what they were doing. And there was the most uncomfortable moment of my life. Because there was this beautiful moment where they were really deeply connected to each other, and all I wanted to do was run.

32:46 Because it was like almost inappropriate. You reach a stage where you don't care about appropriate and inappropriate anymore. Like you're old. You're okay if they see it. I didn't want to be there in that moment because what I saw was the gratitude for a life well lived. That's an amazing thing to experience. It's an amazing thing to see. After forty, fifty, sixty years of being married After going through enormous amounts of pain and enormous amounts of pleasure together. That's the most incredible thing. That's gratitude for sure. That's the Gemara's gratitude. There's gratitude at the chuppah also. There's gratitude when you're walking down the aisle and you look up at him and nothing has been done yet. There's gratitude in that moment where you're just smiling. I missed a wedding of a very dear Talmud who I love very much, but he got married literally on the first day of yeshiva.

33:41 And he invited me and another rebbe from the yeshiva to come, and the yeshiva said, 'I need you to be here. One rebbe can go, but you have to be here because of the role that I play in yeshiva.' So I missed the wedding, and I want you to know it was heartbreaking to miss this wedding because I love this guy so much. He's such a close talmid. I have so much respect for him. He's grown tremendously. I really want you to know, I look up to him in many ways. I asked this other rebbe who went. I said, "How was the wedding?" He said, "It was amazing." I said, "What was amazing about it?" He said, "He was just in his element. He was so happy. He was so besimcha." I said, "Yeah." He said, "I want to tell you something. It was the cutest thing. Up until the moment where she was walking down the aisle. He's very, he's very like from. So he was shuffling like he was having a seizure, and saying 'til you know the whole nine yards' until she came. And then he said This is what Rebbe told me. He started jumping.

34:32 He was so excited to see her. And if you, he's married. Relax. There are other good guys out there. What do we call this? A Talmud Avora moment. What's he so excited about? They haven't done anything yet. That's what he's so excited about Because it's before anything. The dream is now a reality, but it's unsullied. It's pure. You're right now in the beginning of your year. Kitavu olah Arutz, you came. There's two gratitudes. There's the gratitude that you're here, and there's the gratitude that you'll experience at the end of the year. The end of the year gratitude. It's more obvious. The gratitude right now is not easy. It's not easy, especially when things are in turmoil. Especially when things are already like Am I really here? To be a Jew means to be someone who gives gratitude. Yehudi, from a lashon of Hodah, from a lashon of admission, from a lashon of gratitude.

35:37 How many of you so far? And I hope the answer is everyone. And if it hasn't been, you could rectify it immediately. How many of you have thanked your parents? How many of you have already thanked your teachers? How many of you went over to Rabbi Rosenstein and Rabbi Fix and said thank you for what you've built? It's important. These people are dedicating their lives to you. It may not be perfect, but let it not be perfect in January. Right now, can we still hold on to some of the purity? I'll give you a secret: if you can express gratitude now That's the key to expressing gratitude later. If you can appreciate the dream of what we've built for you here Then you'll be able to appreciate the accomplishments when you've already conquered the land. But if you can't appreciate the dream, then it won't matter what you accomplish. So my bracha for everyone this year, and we'll finish with this. My bracha for everyone this year is that we should be zayecha to be grateful now for everything that Tomer Devora can be. The dream of Tomer Devora, you've been waiting for so long to come this year. And beis Hashem, we should be zayecha nine months from now. To give our gratitude for everything that we've accomplished.