Ki Tavo - Building a Personal Relationship With Hashem

2:04 Recheli from Baltimore. Beautifully said. Any other questions that you would want to ask? You have to think. That's part of being here. Seventy girls here. They only got two questions. Can't be. What's your name? Where are you from? Staten Island. Teach me how this is compared to Avodah Zara. Sounds like they're dead, the same exact lashon. Beautiful, excellent tahara. Think. Until today, you saw everything, but until today, it was like nothing. You're guessing. What's the question? Just give me a question. I like questions better than answers. What changed? Something happened today. What happened today? Of all the forty years we've been in the desert until today. I didn't know what was going on. What's your name? Where from? Where in Philly? I know the Belknap area. Sounds like an insult. And that would be a very strange thing at the end of your life to look at Klal Yisrael and go.

3:20 Until today, you were nothing. I know a big Rosh Yeshiva that did that once. He honored somebody at a dinner, and the guy at the dinner He made us see him at the dinner, and this Rosh Yeshiva got up in front of everybody and embarrassed him. He said, "You should know we had no nachas from you for many years." He said, "But now you finally made us see him," and this was the guy he was honoring at the dinner. It's a very strange thing to do. Everyone was whispering, "Why would the Rosh Yeshiva say something like that?" But of course, that can't be what Moshe Rabbeinu is doing. But it sounds like that, right? We good? Any other last questions, comments, or reactions to this pasuk? Let's look at what Rashi says. Rashi is going to say something. He's going to give us some information. It's going to make it a little bit better. It's also going to make it a little bit worse. Let's look at what Rashi says. The first Rashi says, 'Velo nason Hashem lechem leiv l'adas.' What does it mean that you are missing a heart to feel?

4:12 La hakir eschastay Hakadosh Baruch Hu ule dabek bo. You didn't have gratitude. Doesn't mean they didn't know. Obviously, they knew. They knew all the great things that Hashem did, but just because you know Doesn't mean you have gratitude. Isn't that true, girls? How many of us are truly grateful for everything that we've been given in our lives? We know intellectually, I should be grateful. Look what my parents have done for me. Look what my community has done for me. How many of us really take the time to take that gratitude and make it real? You girls know what I mean by that. Anyone here write a letter to their parents to say thank you? You did. Can I ask you? Do you mind if I ask you a little bit? When you wrote the letter, did you write it from your head or from your heart?

5:06 Did you find yourself a little bit? She said she wrote it from her heart. To those people that couldn't hear her. And when you wrote that letter, did you find yourself more emotional when you were writing it than before? Almost like you were bringing up the emotions. Why is that? Just because you knew it your whole life until you actually make it conscious, and then what happens? It starts to bring out that emotion. It's not easy to bring out that emotion. What's your name? Where are you from? From Philly. Also from the same area. So my mother-in-law was from Balakinwood, so I'm familiar with the area a little bit. She's been in Israel for 23 years now. I don't know if you would know her, but I'd say I know the Balakinwood area. But it's an amazing thing that you're saying. This is what Moshe Rabbeinu was saying, and it seems like a very big criticism, which you pointed out before. It sounds like a very strange thing. He's saying, all the years that you've been in the Midbar, you knew intellectually what Hashem wanted, what Hashem did for you, but you didn't actually have gratitude. That's a major

6:10 Like a punch in the face. You didn't have gratitude for Hashem for all the things that He did. Very strange. We have to unpack what's going on there. But then Rashi says another thing, also very strange. How she says? Not only did you not have gratitude. Listen what the words say. Ule davek bo, and because you didn't have gratitude, you weren't really. What does davek mean, girls? Stuck. Like davek means stuck. To cleave. It means right. It means to really be in a relationship. He's saying because you didn't have gratitude. You weren't really in a relationship with Hashem. That's a crazy, wild thing to say. Here you are in the last day of your life, and what are you saying to Claudia? 40 years in the desert. You never really had gratitude. You knew it, but you didn't know it with your heart. And because you didn't know it with your heart, you weren't really in a relationship. What's your name? Where are you from?

7:03 You know my friend Ari Hoffman. Ari Hoffman. Right. Where? Like this is. It's like. Twenty years ago, you should have been giving them moser. Twenty years ago, you should be chaver. Where's your gratitude? Something clearly happened on that day. Hold your hold that question, because the next Rashi deals with it. Beautiful question. What's your name? Where you from? I like Elizabeth, New Jersey. My aunt lives in Elizabeth, New Jersey. The Fox family. I can play Jewish geography with every single person here. Yeah. What's your last name? Okay. Yeah. So this is what Moshe is saying to Klal Yisrael, not what Hashem is saying to Moshe. That would be an excellent point. Just this is what Moshe is saying to Klal Yisrael. So far, so good. We have all the questions. Let's do one more Rashi. See if we can make it a little bit deeper, and then we'll try to figure something out over here. You with me? Great. Here we go. Last Rashi. This Rashi is an unbelievable Rashi. Listen to every word, hone in on every single word. This Rashi is incredible. It was worth it to come to Israel just to learn this Rashi.

8:19 Adayo ma'aseh? What happened on this day? Twenty years ago, Moshe Rabbeinu didn't say anything. Today, finally, Moshe says everything changed. What happened? Rashi dice shamati. What does shamati mean? You ever hear of a Rashi that says that? What does Rashi usually do if he's answering a question like this? He quotes from the Medrash. He quotes from different Gemaras. What does Rashi say over here? I heard. He doesn't say where he heard it from. By the way, I looked around. I have no idea where Rashi heard this from. I heard. Shamati, I heard. Rashi says. She also a yom shanasa and Moshe sefer Torah of Ne'levi. Something happened on this day. What happened? Moshe Rabbeinu wrote a special sefer Torah, and who did he give it to? He gave it to the Levim. That was his family. Can imagine what that felt like.

9:07 If all these Jews from all the different shvatim, and what does Moshe Rabbeinu do? That's a Moshe Rabbeinu sefer Torah, right? That's a high level. I have a piece of art in my house, from a very well known artist. I'm not a person who knows art, but the boys from yeshiva a couple years ago, bought me this very expensive piece of art, but I didn't know it was a very expensive piece of art. And the boys also gave me money to frame this piece of art. I walked into an art store to frame this piece of art. And the person in the art store looks at me, and she goes, "Where did you get this painting from?" Because I don't look like a person that should own a very expensive painting. It was very insulting. She's like, "Where did you get this from?" I was like, "I don't know. The boys bought it for me." She's like, "That doesn't make any sense. Yeshiva boys can't afford a painting like this. I don't know exactly how they put it together, but they got me one of these original prints of this painting.

9:56 It's a big deal when you walk. Imagine you're walking around a sefer Torah that's like autographed. Moshe Rabbeinu Sefer Torah—that's serious business. Who does he give it to? He gives it to Bnei Levi. He gives it to his own family. Kemosha Kasev. As it says in the pasuk, V'Ein Alakonim Bnei Levi—that Moshe Rabbeinu gave it to the Kohanim, the children of Levi. Ba'u Kol Yisrael, every single Jew. Girls, does it say five Jews came, ten Jews came? Rashi doesn't exaggerate. You know how in seminary. Girls say, they'll say, a lot of girls are complaining. What does a lot of girls are complaining mean? It means ten girls are complaining. It means five girls are complaining. If Rashi says Bo Kol Bnei Yisrael, what does that mean? Every single Jew was up in arms. What were they upset about? Bo Kol Yisrael Efnei Moshe V'Amrlo Moshe Rabbeinu.

10:42 They said to Moshe Rabbeinu Anu amdu bas madnu bas sinai. We too were at sinai. And we too receive the Torah from Hashem. Hashem gave the Torah to us also. Umata mashlet es bnei shivtecha alech. And how dare you place your shavet, your tribe, above us? What's going to happen? We know what's going to happen. Yom machar. Lo lachem nitnu lanu. Lanu lo nach. Lo nachem nitna. Lo lachem nitna lanu nitna. This is what they were afraid of. What's going to happen tomorrow? Shavut Levi is going to show up. What does tomorrow mean? At some point in the future, and they're going to say, "You didn't receive the Torah at Har Sinai, only we did. That's why we're the ones that have Moshe Rabbeinu's personal sefer Torah." So Moshe, what did you do? You created an unbelievable split in Klal Yisrael And who was upset about this? Not five Jews, not ten Jews. Every single Jew came to Moshe Rabbeinu and said, 'Moshe Rabbeinu, what did you do? You cut us out of the Torah. That's what you did.'

11:46 What would you expect Moshe Rabbeinu's reaction to be? How could you say that? How could you accuse the Bnei Levi that they're going to do it? Listen, what Rashi says. Remember, this is all something Rashi heard. I don't know where there's a source for this, but this is what Rashi says. This samach Moshe al adaver. Moshe Rabbeinu was thrilled. He was joyous. He was happy. Va'alzos amr lahem. And he responded to them Hayom hazen yisalam. Today you became a nation. Today you became a nation. Hayom hazay vantish antem dvekim vechafetsim b'malchum. Now I know that you're connected to Hashem. Now I know that you desire to be in a relationship with Hashem. So that's a wild story. Rashi is telling us. Nowhere in Chumash do we find this. Only small references to it that Rashi is putting together. That all of Kli Yisrael, Every single Jew, Moshe Rabenu, how could you give a special sefer Torah to Bnei Levi? They're going to come and say we were in Har Sinai. What does Moshe Rabenu say?

12:53 He says, "You're right." I'm so happy now. You're a nation, girls. What's the obvious question? How did they become a nation? When did they become a nation? Someone said it earlier. When did they become a nation? What would you have said? Har Sinai. Moshe Rabbeinu says, "No! You haven't been a nation until today." And now we're a nation. How did they become a nation? By being upset that Bnei Levi was going to cut them out. That's how you become a nation. Obviously, it shows that they care, but we have to understand it deeply. Very good. I see you're already thinking. We don't think there's any kind of selfish intentions today. It sounds a little bit selfish. Maybe it sounds a little bit like they're operating from a place of fear. I'm with you. Great question. Great question. Yeah. Okay. So before you give an answer, you're right on target again. Before you give an answer, I want to share with you a deep idea.

14:02 I want to tell you a story that doesn't reflect so well about me. Something I did. Once upon a time, that I'm not like embarrassed of it because it was when I was very little, but it really wasn't a proud moment for me. I grew up in a shul called the Young Israel of Farakway. You guys know where Farakway is? It's right next to the Five Towns. You're from Farakway? What's your name? Mimi. What's your last name? Maslow from the from Farakway. Who's your dad? David Maslow. Where do you go to school? I want to see a picture of your dad afterwards. I think I know who he is. Old Shayashiv or new Shayashiv? He must have been old Shayashiv. Old Shayashiv. I definitely know who he is. I gotta look. I gotta see a picture. So I grew up in a shul called the Young Israel Farakway. Girls, I'm gonna tell you a special thing about the way Farakway used to be.

14:54 I don't know if it's like that anymore, but this is the way it is. I hope I don't insult anybody here. Please understand, I don't mean to insult you. The way it was in Farakway is there's a street called Beach Ninth Street. And Beach Ninth Street cuts across all of Farakway, and it used to be that people who had money lived on one side of Beach Ninth Street, and people who didn't have money lived on the other side of Beach Ninth Street. Now the Jews have spread out all over, and there's Jews all the way up to Seagret Boulevard, and the entire time you turn around there's another Jew. But it used to be Beach Ninth Street was the cutoff, and the youngest of Farakway is on Beach Ninth Street. Twice a year, there were kids that would come to shul. Kids that were little kids. They were youth group kids. And they never came to shul the rest of the year. Me and my buddies were in shul every Shabbos, but we were obviously in shul. What do you do if you're a little kid and you go to shul? You go to groups. They have group leaders, so you go to groups. You dive in a little bit. You play games. Twice a year, these Russian kids would show up to shul on Russia. Who do I insult? Just so I know. Sure.

15:54 Nice. So you're the one I'm talking about. Twice a year, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. These and we were in third grade, fourth grade. We were little kids. Please don't hold it against me. I promise you, I'm a better person now than I was then. But as a little kid, It's funny to say it like this because they were little kids. But these goon rushing, you know what I'm talking about? Like they had a certain aura. They had a certain rizz. I'm very relevant, Rabbi. I hang out with 18-year-olds all day. OG Glaze. The. I don't know all the right. I don't know necessarily how to use the words. I just know them. Say less. The so these kids. It was pretty good. It was okay. So I showed up. You'll teach me how to do it better. So I show up to shul and there's like these fourth grade Russian kids, and their parents were like the immigrant parents that didn't. I'm the immigrant parent in Israel, so I'm like what those Russian parents were now, and they're like I've been in country long distance. Those parents don't know how to speak well. And they're just different culturally. I don't mean to be insulting. They're very different culturally. And these kids showed up, and every year And so one year I'll never forget this. One year I'm a puny little third grade kid

17:06 And this kid shows up to shul, and it's maybe Rosh Hashanah morning, and we're all in shul and we're all playing. And this, I said to this kid, I shouldn't have said a terrible thing. I said to this kid Why do you only come to shul twice a year? It's not a smart thing to say to this Russian goon, third grade kid And the kid grabbed me. And he's like, these kids didn't have Jews only like push each other. No Jews ever actually get into a fight. This kid grabbed me and he was pushing me up against the wall. He goes, "You think you're more Jewish than me?" I was like, 'No, I'm in third grade. I don't have a hashkafa. I don't like.' Think about anything. I know what your issue is, right? He's got me up against the wall. He's like, you think you're better than me? You think you're more Jewish than me? I'm like, no. He's like, just because we don't come to shul every day doesn't mean that we don't care. It just means we're less Jewish. I'm like, and I was getting like a lesson in kibbutz from this third grade Russian kid of like what not to say.

17:59 And I told my parents about it. Later that day, I told my parents. My parents are both balei tshuva, and I told them a Russian kid came, and I just said why don't you come to shul the rest of the year? My father said I shouldn't have said that. My ADHD kid. I don't have a filter. Whatever's in my brain comes out of my mouth. And I remember it was one of the most important lessons I ever learned in my entire life. Jews are not just a family; Jews are a nation. What's the difference between a family and a nation? Everybody's part of the family. Everybody's part of the family. You're a Jew because you're born a Jew. Everyone's part of the family. You're the children of Avram, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Sarah, Rivka, Rachel, Leah. Everybody's part of the family. Not everybody owns the mission. Just because you're a Jew doesn't mean that's the focus of your life. Doesn't mean that you've been macabre on yourself the mission. But I want to tell you an amazing thing about a Jew.

18:54 If you tell a Jew even a little bit, if you say to them Even if you don't mean it, if you say I'm more Jewish than you That is like the nastiest thing you could say. And they'll grab you and say, 'Who do you think you are to look at me and think you're any better?' You know why? Because every Jew cares deeply about their Judaism. But every single Jew goes through a transition period. I know I went through this, and I'm sure every one of you went through this. Sometimes we do it because it's what our family does. And sometimes we do it because it's what we do. It's our mission. I'll give you an example of this. A couple years ago In Mivasa This boy came to yeshiva, Sfardi boy. He came to check out the yeshiva. And he said the yeshiva that I'm in, it's more of a Like a party yeshiva. I really want to learn a little bit more, so I came to Mivaseret to check it out. He came in the morning at the end of the morning. I said, how was it?

19:51 He said to me, best morning ever. I learned more Torah this morning than I learned the entire year. I said, go to the afternoon. He goes to the afternoon shirum at the end of the afternoon. I said, how was it? He goes, incredible. I went to this rebbe shir and it blew my mind. Guys talk like that was crazy. They just like. It was incredible. And I went to this year. It was incredible. I said, stay for the night. At the end of the night, unbelievable, best year I'm ever. The next day in yeshiva, I said, Do you think you're going to switch? He goes, No Not going to switch. I said, "Why?" He said, "Too many Ashkenazim here." So I was like, 'Come on, man. First of all, I'm with you. You know what I'm saying? I'm proud. Your life matters to me. You don't have to not go to a yeshiva because there are too many Ashkenazim here. Who cares? Come on.' In L.A., they don't really care about those things anymore. Only in Deal and Brooklyn do they care about those things. Who did I just insult? I want to know. Are you really not going to go to yeshiva because there's too many Ashkenazim here? So you know what the kid said to me?

20:51 He said, "I want to tell you something." " He said, "In the Sfarer yeshiva When a boy does an avera He knows he did the wrong thing. In an Ashkenaz yeshiva, Rebbe, I see if a boy does an avera, he goes, maybe God doesn't exist. Goes, God still exists. Just because you did an avera He says, I don't want to be around that influence. And it was an unbelievably telling thing he said. He goes, Look, I don't always do the right thing, but I do it because it's what my mother told me to do. I do it because what my father told me to do. You know that Sfardi kid. He's like, How do you know there's a God? My mother wouldn't lie to me. Anyone here have a Moroccan mother? Oh yeah, you don't want to be careful, right? Morat, Rabbi Saffarin from Los Angeles. He has the best line of all time. Rabbi Safrahn says he says you want to say it.

21:40 He says I have a Moroccan mother and a Lubavitch father. What does that make me? Abused. That's right, Rabbi. You have a Moroccan mother. She tells you there's a God. You know why you believe her? Because you better believe her. There's something amazing. There's something amazing, something incredible. About doing something because it's what your family does. That's beautiful. Isn't that an amazing thing? Like there's a there's like a heritage to it. There's like Don't like I don't know how to say this the right way, but you always have guys come to yeshiva and they're I don't feel good about the davening here in Rosh Hashanah. Because it's not my tunes. It's the food that they serve at your table. All the svarikis and mevaser though is like it's Ashkenazi food here, Rabbi. It's Ashkenazi food. Like you grow up with your mother's whatever. Like your mother's kibbeh, whatever, whatever it is you're doing. Something beautiful about that.

22:34 But girls, there's a difference between family and nation. Family is I do it because it belongs to somebody else. I do it because of where I came from. Nation means I do it because it's me. Not because of where I came from, not because I'm the child of Avraham Yitzchak Yaakov Zaruf Gerachelaya. I do it because it's mine. It's my Torah. It's my opportunity to serve Hashem. I'm not doing it because of what my family did. I'm doing it because this is my mission. You hear the difference? And I'll tell you, it makes all the difference in the world in terms of the way that you serve Hashem. If you serve Hashem because it's what your father did Then you'll serve Hashem only with as much passion as you saw from your father. But if you serve Hashem because it's yours, that's a completely different relationship.

23:18 If you're doing it because it's the right thing to do, that's beautiful. Don't stop doing that. But then you're not going to be passionate about your service of Hashem. You're like, it's what we do. That's our family tradition. We go to shul on Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur. We go to shul the rest of the year. How do we daven? We say the words. We're part of the community. Make a bar mitzvah, bat mitzvah. We go to Israel. You know the whole nine yards. If there's a war that breaks out, we'll go. We'll bring a barbecue to the soldiers. Whatever it is. But if it's yours, if it's not just the family, if it's a mission, then it's completely different. Then if there's a Jew in Gaza that gets kidnapped Then you can't sleep at night because that's my brother. That's my sister. Not just a member of my family. That's a member of my nation. You hear the difference? If it's a member of my family, I don't know that member of my family. It's a distant cousin. What do I get to do with them? But if it's your mission, if it's your nation, they're like, 'What do you mean? You just took one of us. We need every single person on the team.' You hear how it becomes more personal?

24:12 I want to tell you the biggest secret to this year. You're brand new here. I'm going to tell you the biggest secret. If you want to know what's the secret sauce of why a girl comes to Bar Meryam and walks out a thousand times more passionate about her Judaism than when she walked in. It's not because I'm telling you honestly. It's not because it's a very safe place, and you could really be who you are here. That's amazing. It's not the real thing. It's not because we have Excuse me. It's not because we have the most inspiring teachers. There are great rebbeim here. There are great mechanchot, great rakazot. It's not the reason that girls do amazing here. I'll tell you the reason. The reason that girls do amazing in Berahimirim. Is because at the end of the year The things you do, you don't do them because your parents did them.

24:58 You do them because they belong to you now. It's your mission. You owned it. I'm gonna bet And you don't have to say it out loud. It's just a bet that I have. That somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, somewhere deep in the recesses of your soul, when you were in twelfth grade last year and you were making the decision about where to go, there was a part of you that was waiting to come to a place like Bear Miriam because you saw girls that came back from Bear Miriam, and you're like, I don't know what they're doing over there, but that girl, she seems like she has something more than she had when she was in high school. And the thing that you're looking at, the thing that you're saying, I want that taste of that. That's what's really going on here. The reason why people get passionate about their Judaism is because it's not just something my mother did, it's not something my grandmother did, it's something that belongs to me. I'll tell you, the most inspiring person of my entire life knew very little Torah.

25:49 My grandmother. More inspiring than any Rebbe I ever had was my grandmother, who passed away a couple years ago in Covid. My grandmother became frum when she was 70 years old. 70 years old, she started keeping Shabbos. 70 years old, she started keeping kosher. 70 years old, she started dressing modestly. 70 years old, she became judgmental of all my cousins that weren't religious. Truly orthodox. And my grandmother, she didn't. She never moved to a frum community. She stayed in her community. She said, "I'll keep Shabbos even if everybody else around me isn't keeping Shabbos. I'll keep kosher in my house and out of my house, even if everyone else is going out to eat and they're not keeping kosher." She was so strong. And I asked her, "Grandma, why do you do this?" She said, "It's the right thing to do, and I know it's the right thing to do." She never broke Shabbos, and she was always giving away tzedakah. Whenever I would go to her apartment, she would give me different CDs. You girls know what CDs are.

26:48 So do you know what tapes are? Yes. So sometimes, when you make a donation to yeshivas, they send you tapes and CDs. In the old days, they sent you tapes and CDs of different shirim. My grandmother never learned in seminary. She never learned in yeshiva. She didn't know any Torah, but she had all these tapes and CDs. I would come, and she'd say, 'Here, you take them.' She was from hardcore right wing yeshivas. She was giving me tapes and CDs from big charedi rabbanim. My grandma, what are you doing? They sent me a letter and asked for tzedakah, so I gave them. I was like, do you have any connection to this yeshiva? Do you even know what this yeshiva stands for? She said, no, but they asked for money. It's the right thing to give tzedakah. She owned her Judaism. It was the most inspiring thing in the world to me. My parents are both balei tshuva, inspiring people because they didn't necessarily have to be from. They chose to be from.

27:34 That's the environment that I grew up in. My parents never pressured me to learn. This is actually my rebellion. My father used to say to me all the time, "A little learning never hurts." So let's learn as little as possible. I wasn't pressured at all to be religious, not even a little bit. My parents said, "We want you to own it the same way we owned it." Until you own it, it's not yours. It just belongs to your parents. It's something you do. This is the year to make that shift. Now watch. Let's go through the Sukkot again. You'll see something unbelievable. What happened on that day? What's Rashi telling you? First of all, he says Shamati. Isn't it interesting that Rashi doesn't quote a source? You never see that. Rashi is always going for this. What is Rashi saying? This is what I heard. It's personal to Rashi. He doesn't have it from a sefer. This Rashi's telling you. This my masorah. This my connection. It's personal. Shamati that on the day that Moshe Rabbeinu gave a gift, a special gift to his tribe.

28:30 Everybody stood up and said, "No way." No way. You can't create a situation where one Jew thinks they're better than any other because it's going to end up pushing Jews out. And this belongs to us as much as it belongs to them. And so, you could tell the story that maybe they were operating from fear, but that's not what Moshe Rabenu heard when he was listening to them carefully. He was so happy. Why? Because they were saying it belongs to me. Belongs to me. You can't create a situation where any Jew could feel pushed out. Moshe Rabbeinu says, "Now I see, not you're a family." Now I see you're a nation. Now I see that you're on a mission. That's exciting to me. Everything changed today. And look what he says. Not only do I see that you became a nation. Look at the words of Rashi.

29:19 Now I see that you're davening. Now I see that you're connected to Hashem. Now I see that you're chavetz. Now I see that you desire Hashem. Up until now, it was just something you did because you're the children of Avram Yitzchak and Yaakov. These people were the children of those who stood by Har Sinai. But it wasn't them; it was their parents. That was for them. Today, they became a nation. I'm going to tell you a secret. And this secret is probably the most important thing you'll know. You'll need to know it for your entire married life. You want to know what it looks like to be in a relationship? One key factor And no relationship is a real relationship unless it has this. If you're part of a family, you know what you do. You take it for granted. You take it for granted. You know when you stop taking your parents for granted.

30:11 When you become a mom yourself. My daughter is married. My oldest daughter is married. She has an almost eight month old son. I'm a grandfather. I'm forty four years old. I'm a grandfather. My daughter, I see her now. She's mamish. It's hard. She's got this beautiful little son. His name is Eli. He's my favorite grandson. He's my only grandson, but he's definitely my favorite by far. He's the sweetest kid in the world. Little kids sometimes don't sleep at night. Sometimes they get sick. My daughter says to my wife all the time. She goes, "Emma, I don't know what to do." What happens when the baby gets sick? I don't know what to do. How should I know what to do? The baby just got sick the other day. Needed a nebulizer. Needed some medicine. And my daughter's like, I know what to do. I brought him to the doctor, and the doctor was like, maybe he has pneumonia. Pneumonia and a baby is a serious thing. She's like, I don't know what to do. So my wife smiled.

31:03 And she said to her None of us knew what to do. You were little, and you had the same exact thing, and we all just learn along the way. I see my daughter. She's exhausted. She's holding down a job. She has a husband. She has a little baby. If the baby doesn't sleep at night, she still has to go to work the next day. It's not like you get to take off because you're tired. So I said to my daughter, "I've been waiting to say this to you for so long." Do you appreciate what we did for you? Because there was a time where you just took it for granted. Of course, my parents stay up with me all night. Of course, my parents send me to seminary. Of course, my parents took me on vacation. Of course, my parents put a roof over my head. Of course, my parents gave me food to eat. Girls, it's not obvious. It's not of course. Your parents work so hard to love you into being, and most of us know that.

31:53 But we don't know it with our hearts. We know it intellectually, but we don't know it with our hearts. As long as you're part of a family, you take it for granted. Of course, my parents do these things for me. Until you step outside the family, and then you go, 'Oh, it wasn't obvious.' My dad was killing himself, holding down all those jobs, all those years, just to barely make ends meet. It wasn't obvious at all. All the people that built my schools and my yeshivas and my beis yach'kus and my seminaries—it wasn't obvious. Nobody had to do that for you. Some of us grew up in amazing palaces of schools. I went to Yula for girls. I saw it. It's beautiful. Do you know how many millions of dollars were poured into that building to give you girls an unbelievable education? It's an amazing thing that goes on here. How many girls donated from Be'er Miriam alumni to make sure that you could come this year on the scholarship campaign?

32:43 Last year when they were running their campaign, the Rabitzon was killing herself. I saw she's momish killing herself. She said to Berg, "Not every girl can pay. We have to figure out. We don't turn girls away. We got to figure out." "This is unbelievable." She put her entire heart on the line for girls to come to seminary. How many of us are really grateful to the Rabitzon? Some of us know it, but do we know it? Until you become a nation. You just assume it's obvious because you're family, and family is beautiful. But family is not—it's not like that, like desirous type of relationship. That's unique to a husband and a wife. You don't desire your brothers and your sisters; they're your family. You want to desire Hashem, not like your brother or your sister. You want to desire Hashem like it's my husband. Until you leave the family mentality, until you say this is my mission, Hashem created me in this moment to do this job. Until you get to that level.

33:40 You don't actually desire Hashem, and therefore you're not grateful. Listen what Rashi says; it's an unbelievable line. Until today You were never appreciative. How could it be? They got the man, they got the slav, kriyas yamsof, paro, everything. How could they not have been appreciative? You know why? Of course, Hashem did it for us. Of course, He did. This is the God of Avram, Yitzchok, and Yaakov. Doesn't He take care of us? What's the answer? He took care of you, and you thought He took care of you because you were family. He didn't take care of you because you were family. He took care of you because you were you. When you get older, you start to realize that the people who loved you into being They did it because you were family, but they also did it because they saw something in you. I have a We call him an uncle, but he's not really an uncle. He's like my dad's best friend. Fake family. This is my fake family.

34:28 His name is Hyman, Uncle Hyman. My father's best friend. I always knew that he loved me because I was family. I always knew that he loved me because I was my father's son. My father's oldest son. Of course, he loved me. As I got older I realized he didn't just love me because we were family. He actually cared about me. I wasn't just my father's son. I was someone to him. Hashem didn't take us out of Mitzrayim only because we were the children of Avram, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. He took every one of us out of Mitzrayim because he said, 'You have something unique to contribute.' When that occurred to us, when we're like, 'Wait! This is my Torah. Don't move me away from my Torah,' then we're like, 'Oh, Hashem didn't just do it for us because we're family. He did it because he cared about me.' All of a sudden, our hearts were flooded with gratitude. It was like writing that letter. All of a sudden, we were like, 'Oh, wow! Hashem is incredible.' And that's when you enter into a relationship with Hashem.

35:19 Why did we start off today saying 'Mizrabel Sod'? I promise you, none of this was planned. I prepared this year. Two days ago, well before anything happened, why do we start off the year saying Mizmor L'Soda for the miracle that Akal D'Shabaruchu did for us in Lebanon, taking out all of those terrorists? Because to be a Jew means to be grateful. Why is that critical? Because unless you're grateful, you're just operating on autopilot. Of course, Hashem does it for us. We're family. Every single beeper that went off in Lebanon, every terrorist that was injured, every terrorist that can't hurt another Jew—who did Hashem do it for? Not for this, like family. Of course, he does it for that. He does it for every one of us. It means we have an obligation to Hashem. Girls, I want to give us a bracha. Finish with this. Last bracha.

36:06 Hashem says as follows: Hashem says, "I care about you. I give us the bracha. We should be zeicher to care about Hashem." The goal of this year is not just to continue to do our Judaism, not just to show up every day and have a checklist and say, 'I davened shachris min chamayim. I went to all my classes.' That's not the Judaism we want for you girls. We want it to not just be family. We want you to be mekabel on yourselves. The mission. I give us all a bracha that we should be zeicha to be mekabel on ourselves. The mission of our Kadosh Baruch Hu this year. Girls have a wonderful Shabbos.