Transcript
Automatic transcript; may contain mistakes, especially in Hebrew.
This week we have two questions and they're very similar questions. The first question is how do emotions work if you've built up a Amunah? If everything in the end is going to be okay, and you believe that everything Hashem does is for the good, how do emotions come into play? Are you supposed to suppress emotions? Well working on this definition of Amunah leading lead to getting rid of negative emotions Is that healthy or do emotions come into play in a different way? The second question we have is, does the whole concept of avelos represent a certain lack of amunah in Hashem? Doesn't everything that happened really happen for the best? So why do we mourn? If the answer is that it does not represent a lack of faith, which I assume is the case based on the amount of halachos and mamari chazal that deal with avelos, why does it not represent a lack of amunah?
I think we have to be able to be sophisticated enough to hold two different concepts here. The first concept is the Amunah that everything Hakadosh Baruch Hu does is for the best. The second is that emotions are real and God wants us to experience those emotions. The truth of the matter is that very often what we experience is the emotions that come from fear. And those are negative emotions. Those are emotions that aren't actually emotions, because they're being driven by fear. But when we know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu runs the world, then we can actually feel the emotions. Not the emotion that's being driven by fear, but the emotion itself. So for example, when someone chassvashalam passes away, and we've lost a loved one, so the halacha tells us, mourn, and of course we should mourn. We should actually feel the pain and the loss that exists in our world.
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And at the same time, knowing that there is a God, that there is a conductor of the orchestra of life, allows us to feel safe. So instead of living in a chaotic universe where we never know what's coming next and everything that happens is random and we're subject to that randomness, it can be very difficult to actually feel emotions that way. It's just fear. But when a person knows I'm safe, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is doing everything he's doing is for the best, then we can feel authentic emotions. There's nothing wrong with feeling badly, but there's something that's deeply troubling about living in a world where everything is so anxiety driven. So if someone lost a loved one, because they know Hakadosh Baruch Hu is there in their life, they know that their whole life is not going to fall apart. And that's what allows them to experience true sadness.
So we're not supposed to suppress our painful emotions. We're supposed to allow our emotions to be appropriate, driven by our intellect, guided by the knowledge that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is real and he's present in our life. I think there's something very dangerous about the fact that people think today that if you have a Amunah that everything is for the best, then you're not allowed to feel emotions. Quite the opposite. If you have a real Amunah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu does everything for the best, then you Who Can Actually Feel Emotions? I'll share a story that I once heard from a Labavitcher Mashpia. He was talking to someone who Loelenu was not able to have children. And this Labavitcher Mashpia said to him, why don't you go speak to the Labavitcher Rebbe about this? And the Chassid said, I can't go speak to the Labavitcher Rebbe about this.
The Labavitcher Rebbe could not possibly understand the pain of what it means to not have children. The Mashpia looked at him in wonderment and he said the Rebbe himself was never blessed with children. You don't think that he can experience the pain of not having children? The Chassid said of course he can't. He's the Rebbe. He's so incredibly in touch with the Rebbe Nishlam. His Amunah is so strong he can't feel the pain of not having children. He just understands. This is what I call the Shabbar. Who wanted. This is what's for the best. Mashi'el looked back at him and he said it's just the opposite. Because he's the Rebbe, because he's so in touch with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, he actually feels the pain. He really feels like it's such a painful thing. It's not just the anxiety that's driving his pain, but it's the actual pain. That's a very big avodah for us, to be able to feel our feelings. Today we medicate our feelings away in so many different ways. Some people medicate it with food, other people medicate their feelings. Rachotosh Baruch Hu Chazim
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