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This week's question has been sponsored as a merit for all of Klal Yisrael. May the kedusha, the sparks bring a cancellation of all exairus against Klal Yisrael, a satisfaction of din and may it bring healing for Chaim Sosom and Margalit and Ephrat and Oshaah. This week's question is how do I know when I've done the right amount of ishtadlos? Specifically for dating but in general too. I feel like I've really done so much to help myself Let's return to the reason why we have to make a shtadlos to begin with. The Rebbe Nachalam desires to live in a world where he is concealed. This gives us free choice. This gives us the opportunity to participate in a relationship with him. But in truth, the rest of the world is not the same. The rest of the world is the same. Nitzotzos Rav Baruch Talmud When the light turns green we motion for the cars to go.
The cars are not listening to us. They are looking at the traffic lights. But in our world we believe that the Hishtabl us that we put in is what's creating the effect. What's creating the effect is only the Abishter, nothing else. But the Abishter tells us that we have to live in a way that recognizes that there is a world. Yesh Olam, there is a world, and we have to be respectful of that world. How much ish tablos does a person need to put in? It depends on the level of emunah that they have. If the level of emunah that they have is that for them, this is what's called natural. For example, if a kailo guy says, I'm going to sit and learn, I'm not asking for a handout, but I have a basic plea that kailo pays me a certain amount of money, my wife has a job, and so on and so forth, and he's really authentically on that level of emunah, Then for him that's called ishtadlos, meaning he's living appropriately for his level.
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His level of emunah is X and so his level of ishtadlos is commensurate with that level of emunah. The higher level of emunah that a person has, the less ishtadlos they need to make because for them that's what's called concealment of Hakadosh baruch Hu. For most people who are not on that level of emunah, and I include myself in this, We need to do a greater amount of ishtadlos. When it comes to dating it can be very very tricky. Specifically when it comes to dating. Ultimately we have to remember that the Ribono Shel Olam was already M'zaveh Garzivug. And so the entire dating process is because the Rebbe Nachlam says go out put yourself out there but your Zivug was already made. We have to keep that in mind as we're going through this process because the person kurchasvashalam havachalishasadas. So I get nervous when people ask me these questions. If I say, have a moon, it'll work out and then they don't put themselves out there.
I think that would be a dereliction of our responsibility. Our responsibility is to put ourselves out there as painful as it can be because the vulnerability of dating is great. It's very difficult, but we must continue to put ourselves out there. At the same time, it would be a big mistake to think that your shiddech or anything in life is coming because of the hishtados that you put in And not because of the blessings that the Ribono Shel Olam heaps down upon us. Especially in times of halishas when a person is feeling that they just can't handle the vulnerability of dating anymore. I would strongly encourage you to remember all of the gratitude that we ought to have to Ribono Shel Olam. Two eyes, we can hear, we can smell, we can walk, but dar klal we're healthy, we have families, we have so much to be grateful for.
In times when things are difficult, whether it comes to making the panasuh, difficult decisions in our life, remember that the Ribono Shel Olam is good. Whatever the Ribono Shel Olam does is for the best. Sometimes the pain of going through the process is very important, though it's difficult to see that in the moment. So to answer your question, you have to know yourself. What's your level of emunah? A commensurate level of ishtalus. But don't stop putting yourself out there. Don't sit back because The Rebbe Nachman is asking you to get involved and that's our responsibility
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