Aish Kodesh - 4 (Shabbos Shuva)

2:17 And so, how does Hakadosh Baruch Hu fulfill the mitzvah of tshuva when it comes to tefillin? So allegorically speaking, we could imagine, we could think to ourselves, whatever tefillin means in some sense, Hakadosh Baruch Hu kaviyachol wears tefillin But Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not do averus, and so if Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't do averus, then Hakadosh Baruch Hu never fulfills the mitzvah of tshuva. In what way is it possible for Hakadosh Baruch Hu himself to be mekayim in the mitzvah of tshuva? And he says, imagine. Speaking these words in the Warsaw Ghetto to these Yidden that were trapped there from the Nazis, he says, "Kishashav min hara" Shachas v'shalom, shalach la'amo Yisrael, a'omer laslays huchuvos a'kaviyachu. Hashem Baruch Hu, shachas v'shalom, sendet an das Volk Israel. Or he says he's going to send these terrible calamities to the nation of Israel, things that were befalling those Jews at that time.

3:16 And when Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't do that, when he does tshuva from that, that is Hakadosh Baruch Hu's tshuva. K'maysham ra akasov. And here we're going to get a fundamental insight. V'inachim Hashem al hara asher diber la'soyz la'amai. The pasuk tells us v'inachim Hashem. Literally, what would that mean? That Hashem comforted, right? That Hashem comforted v'inachim Hashem al hara. Hashem comforted from the ra that he said that he would do to Klal Yisroel But here the Rebbe explains the nature of what it means to comfort. And perhaps In our own comfort in our own lives, that which we do for others, that which we do for our children, that which we do for ourselves, this might be a fundamental insight into the nature of Nechama. What is the nature? What does it mean that Hashem comforts? Kaviyachol charata shehirishes hachuva. In a certain sense, the nature of comfort goes directly together with charata, with regret, which is the beginning of tshuva.

4:25 What does that mean? Does it mean that comfort and regret have anything to do with each other? So Kaviyachol, when a person goes to do the mitzvah of nicha mavelim Come to somebody's house. And they just lost somebody very close to them. And let's say you came right away, second day of shiva. And in that place, you know that there's nothing that you could say. There's nothing that anybody could say. In such a moment, to turn a person around. But one hopes that with the gentle words of Nachama inquiring about the nifter, and even the mere presence that we have in that room, we hope to bring comfort. So what does that comfort? Before this person passed away, the person had a worldview. The worldview that this person had was a healthy, abundant, joyous worldview. And when confronting death, especially the death of a loved one, what's diminished is that notion that the world is an okay place, right?

5:28 Like, like when a child goes through the terrible trauma of losing a parent, chas v'shanah, right? The child learned, too early at a very early age, that there's such a thing as knowing that my world could change in an instant, and the security and safety that children are meant to grow up with is all of a sudden out the window. The nechama that we hope to provide is a return to the factory settings Right? It's like, can we go back to what was? And so when a person is sitting shiva, and we walk into the room. And we tell them in no uncertain terms, not in words necessarily, but in our mere presence, in the gentle presence of being. What we give the person as a gift is the gift of community and belonging. And so, when a person says, "Yes, this tragic thing happened, that I can never unsee and never undo," and yet in that place of never being able to unsee it or never being able to undo it, I also know that I continue to be okay, and it restores what was right. And that's why people talk about.

6:31 When I sat shiva, and that person came right. There's always that one person who just knows how to be at a shiva call. People are very uncomfortable at shiva calls. I remember when I went in when my closest friend lost his mother And then lost his father. So I flew in to America when he lost his father to be there after shiva. His father passed away on Pesach, so. The Shiva was after Pesach, so I flew into America to be there for him after Pesach. And you know, people joke People make jokes about these things. There was a person who had, also a very young person who had lost both of his parents. He came in and said, "Welcome to the club." " They're like, "We're joking around." They're in like the two dead parents club. People are mortified, oh my gosh, what are these people saying? Everyone has their own way of coping. You see people come in and out, and I was there for days. My closest friend. I was literally living in the house, sleeping there.

7:30 And you hear the same stories over and over again. If you sit at the shiva for an hour, you hear the stories once. But if you sit at the shiva for a couple of days, it's like you hear the same exact stories over and over again. So I remember that Avram Fried, the singer Came to pay a shiva call. And he has such an incredible presence about him—the presence that you see on stage from Abraham Fried. It's authentically who he is. It's not a show. It's like he—that's the reality of his being. He's like a very He is an upstanding, menschlich type of person. He has a deep presence. Like when he's in a room. Without with like total humility, he commands a tremendous amount of attention. Not because of his stardom, but because of the way he holds himself.

8:12 And whatever he said, it doesn't matter. But when he walked out of the Shiva house, the whole sugar house felt completely different. It was like things are going to be okay. You saw that with my friend who was in that place of total like I have nobody in the world left who's going to take care of me. I was like you could be old yourself. You could be in your sixties and you have parents who are in their nineties and you're taking care of them. But still, the notion that there's somebody out there in the world whose whole chias is to take care of you. When you lose that, it doesn't matter how old you are. It's like there's nobody in the world who loves me in that way anymore. When Agamfried left the Shiva house, I knew it would be okay. It was just like a totally restored factory settings. We went back to what originally was. That was what he gave in that Shiva call. We all want to do that. Just that often people are uncomfortable, so they ask really foolish things and make the person even more uncomfortable. But that's the notion of Nachama, a restoration.

9:14 Which shares the same essence as the notion of regret. What is regret really? When we unpack regret, what does regret mean? I did something that I'm deeply not proud of. Little children say that they have no regrets. It's like the call of the teenage world, right? That world where you're gonna live on fire and not regret anything. Adults are looking at them going, 'You're definitely gonna regret this.' Which is the rise. That's what they say. You only live once until you're older, and then you're like, 'I really shouldn't have done.' They come to seminary and they have to unburden themselves. Now, I'm starting to regret. It's actually a sign of maturation, right? Because there's a factory setting that we have of innocence. And when we regret something, what we mean is that we did something that we lost that sense of innocence. We lost that sense of purity that we have. And everybody remembers.

10:10 Like those first steps where we took those moves away from that purity of being At the first time that we had that fight with our spouse, right? Everything was good, and we were living in that land of newly married and everything was perfect. And then there's that first time that we breached the boundaries of the purity of that institution, and I can't believe I did that Because this means So much to me, but in the regret itself is something exceptionally beautiful. There's already a movement towards not complete, but already a movement towards returning to that original sense of being that we had. So here In a brilliant move, the piyut and Rebbe are sharing with us Vayinachem Hashem al arash she'adiber lassus laamo Is a sense. 'Vayinachem' doesn't mean a level of comfort necessarily. It means in a certain way a level of regret. And he's interpreting it that Hakadosh Baruch regrets the ra that he's brought to Klal Yisroel in a daring way. And again, I could never say this if the Piasetzner hadn't said it.

11:15 But the Rebbe is saying that Hakadosh Baruch Hu regrets what he did and what he brought into the relationship with Klal Yisroel. And when you hear this, he's going to continue this, but when you hear this, one can imagine what it must have been like. In the Warsaw Ghetto, where they're about to get their Shabbos Shuvah drasha, and maybe they remember ten years earlier before the Nazis came to power And maybe they remember the fire in Brimsland drashas that they used to get about their own Shuvah And here the Rebbe starts off fundamentally the opposite way. He gets it later on in the piece. He talks about their own Shuvah, but he starts off with Hashem has to do Shuvah. And so he brings it into a very real dimension of Hakadosh Baruch Hu regrets what he did too. That's how Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mekayim the mitzvah of tshuva.

12:06 Of course, if the Piasetna hadn't said it, nobody could say it. But of course, there are certain tzaddikim that could say these things. And at that time, in order to bring a nechama to Klal Yisrael, that they also should be able to feel a certain sense. A yachas that perhaps they were missing to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You want me to do tshuva When my relatives were shipped off to concentration camps and burned in crematoria When I was kicked out of my beautiful apartment and now I know that guys are living there and I'm living over here in the smaller with no medicine with nothing in my life. You really coming to me and saying that I should do tshuva? Where's Hakadosh Baruch Hu, right? And here the Rebbe is giving that voice as we spoke about the last couple shiurim that the Rebbe always encouraged Chaya Sorel to give voice to who to what was really going on, and often shared with them that voice out loud so that they could access it within themselves. And he's saying, no, Hakadosh Baruch Hu also has to do tshuva. Hakadosh Baruch Hu also is mischarei.

13:05 Hakadosh Baruch Hu also regrets the things that he's doing And that this is not okay. I just I never heard this before. Of course not. Of course not. This is. I. Wow. It's such a special. But I just don't understand. I feel like everything I've always heard is Hashem is perfect. Everything is how it's meant to be. Two things could be true? Two things could be true. Kol Yisbarachu could be perfect. And it is exactly how it's meant to be. And it doesn't mean that for Kol Yisbarachu it's not It's not a move away from what he wants. Kavioh. What I mean to say is There's the ultimate purpose, and all things have a purpose. That's of course true. But like any parent who's doing something that the child doesn't understand, doesn't appreciate, and is exceptionally painful in ways that are cosmic and beyond their understanding, of course it deeply pains the parent to be going in that way. And so he's not saying he's not saying that a kaddish brachah has charata. In the sense that you and I have charetah, he says kaviyachol. Kaviyachol here means when you and I have charetah, it's like I shouldn't have done that. Of course, Hakadosh Baruch Hu should have done that because Hakadosh Baruch Hu always does the thing that's perfect.

14:23 And yet, there's also a sense of movement away from the yachas, the relationship that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to have with Klal Yisrael. And that's an uncomfortable feeling for Hakadosh Baruch Hu to have kaviyachol. And there's a restoration of that yachas, which is the mitzvah of tshuva. This is the chiddush of what the piyut is going to say, and it's massive. Like I said in the beginning, this is an exceptionally daring piece, and I imagine it was very necessary for the psyche of Klal Yisrael at that time. And even more than that, I would say that it's necessary for the piyutetzner to bring it into the world, and maybe it had to come into the world in that way. But it's also for every one of us who's going through anything in our life that's painful and difficult. I don't understand what's happening, which is so much the modality of life. I don't understand what's happening is so much like where we go when things make no sense. I don't understand this relationship that I have with my spouse or with my own parents. Even if I'm married with children, I don't understand what's going on in my own family. I lost my job. Somebody came to me last week. I sat with somebody for a couple of hours. They lost their job but they were doing great.

15:32 What in the world is going on? There's a sense of Chaos and tumultuousness that happens in such a place. And we don't know what's going on, and there's a sense of Hashem, how could you do this to me. And knowing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is also uncomfortable with what's happening is something that's so important for us. And if it weren't for the Rebbe bringing it into the world in that place in that time, who knows if we would have the language to be able to speak these things out? Does that make sense? I think it's a quite beautiful idea. But let's say our Kaddish Baruch Hu only does tshuva over the ra that he's done, or the ra that he says he's going to do. So that's not enough, because even if our Kaddish Baruch Hu says, "I'm going to stop, I won't do the next thing" But the situation that I'm in is not okay.

16:33 So I won't make it worse. But just not making it worse doesn't mean that it hasn't already happened. And if it's already happened, it means that there's a terrible pain that exists. Because only on the ra that he said he was going to add on, is Hakadosh Baruch Hu regretting and doing tshuva from. But we're still in this place of smallness, just like we were before you brought the saran. Shuvah Hashem. Admosaivi hinachim sabena ba beker chastachal. What does this mean? Mispal them shuva Hashem. The Rebbe says we're davening shuva Hashem doesn't mean what we always thought it meant, which was return yourself to us. We're davening that Hashem should return to us. It's saying shuva Hashem. Hashem should do tshuva. This is a daring read of the pasuk until shuva Hashem kaviachal asa tshuva bano. Do tshuva with us. We're calling out to Hashem that you should do tshuva with us.

17:36 Admasai v'hi nachim alavadacha. How long will this continue to go on? V'hi nachim, meaning regret, right? V'hi nachim, like we said, is kaviyach ol charata alavadacha. Regret what you have done to your servants, Klal Yisrael. How long can we go on like this, Hashem? You have to do tshuva. Admasai teheikolat tshuva rak v'hi nachim alavadacha. Al haraos da hatsaros shemitziram asano. How long is your tshuva going to be? Just regret on the ra and the tsara that you brought to Klal Yisrael. Shas nesharim shuv ba'osay matzav hanamoch. Where you'll regret the actions that you did, but le'maisa I still find myself in that small, constricted, painful place. Sabenu ba'beiker chastehu in eranam nisvachah b'chol yamenu shepizet heit shuvoscha kaviyachu. Wenn du eine vollständige Tschuwa willst We haven't had a tshuva shleima. If you want a tshuva shleima, it means it's not enough for Hashem that you regret what you did.

18:38 It's not enough for you to regret the things that you said you were going to do and then not do them. You have to do much more than that. You have to do a complete tshuva to the degree that you raise us up, that we're no longer in that broken state that we were. And as that's a full tshuva, Hashem, it's a very daring read. I'll tell you what came to mind for me when I was reading this piece. I remember years ago that I was with Rofenberger on the roof of Yeshiva Lakota. There was Fabregen on the roof of Yeshiva Lakota. It's a stunning view. I don't know if you've ever been up on the roof of a Shatoura Lakota or the porch of the Tevare. It's like stunning. I always like to go there and you're looking. I gave a shiur once at an apartment that was even higher than Yishuvit Hakotel, and you're looking over, and it's like wow.

19:31 And so I was expecting Reuven Weingraber to say something beautiful like that, and he had the exact opposite reaction. "Look at that thing that's on Har Habayis," and he was so angry about it. He was so broken by it, and I was like I realized in that moment how absolutely desensitized I was to the fact that there's a giant mask on the Machomah Mikdash. And I'm so used to seeing the beauty of Kla Yisro returning to the kotel. The kotel is a beautiful place, of course. I don't mean to chas v'shan diminish the kotel, but it's a foundational wall. In other words, we should not be like children who are satisfied with the scraps, and this is what we're saying to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's not enough for you to just say, "I won't hurt you anymore." That's not okay. We demand the full tshuva from you. Raise us up because the natural state of Klal Yisrael is not to be in this broken place. This R' Kook speaks about this a lot.

20:25 That we have become so. Ragil. What's the English word? Baruch Hashem. Who is my English? We've become so accustomed. We've become so accustomed to being Galich Jews. That we think the natural state of things is that we should be. Behaving like we are small—that's not a net. There's a holy chutzpah that a Jew is supposed to have to know that we are the amanifcha. Which we're not saying makes us better, but certainly does make us have a unique relationship. Ela kadosh baruch hu, a unique mission. And a yid is supposed to stand tall and proud and to say, 'No, I'm a Jew and I'm not going anywhere.' The rabbi Reb Zech Tzadok Levrachel spoke about how in Crown Heights he didn't want the chassidim to move when the neighborhood was changing. He said, 'No, we're here.' And you stand up proudly, and you wear your yarmulke, and you wear your tzitzit, and you don't cut your beard, and you say, "I'm a Jew. I'm not going anywhere."

21:24 And how many yidden today are so afraid to say I'm a Jew, walk with a certain pachet. Certainly, I felt that in America a couple of months ago when I was in America and anti-Semitism was on the rise, and left and right you heard these ma'asim. It was the first time in my life I was in Tinek. "I can't believe I'm afraid to be a Jew in Tinek." But then I also checked in with myself. I was like, "Why am I afraid?" This is what's gonna happen. Nothing's gonna happen, but the world tells us to cower because we're a Jew. And this is exactly the opposite mentality that we're supposed to have. There's a sense of we're not supposed to be in a place of kotnis. We're not supposed to be in a place of shoved to the corner. And for us to stand up proudly and say to the world that we are a moral nation and that we have beliefs.

22:11 We could. I never want to be political about anything. It's certainly not the place for it. But we have an opportunity now in the world that we never had before with the state of Israel. We have the internet. We have a microphone to the entire world to say whatever we want. Is the message that we're sharing a uniquely Jewish message? Are we getting up to the world and saying we have something big to say? We're not in the same place of cowardness that we were in the Warsaw Ghetto. And still we have a certain mentality that we don't want to say anything that will offend anybody. Like what? They don't have this. They're very proud to get up and say, 'No, this is who I am. This is where I come from. This is my rich heritage.' And by us, we're very like we don't want to say we don't want to offend people. That's a sense of gallus. I remember I gave this share once And a boy said, 'Rabbi, I know exactly what you're talking about. We have a water filtration plant in Israel. The technology is amazing. It could change the whole world.' And I'm like, 'No. That's not like a water filtration plant is awesome. Baruch Hashem, we have a water filtration plant. But there is nothing uniquely Jewish about having a water filtration plant.'

23:16 It's about having a government that gets up and a Kallah Yisrael that gets up and says this is what we believe in and this is what we stand for and we're not embarrassed to say that. You should know our cousins are not embarrassed to say that. All over the Middle East, they say whatever they want, they do whatever they want, and the whole Western society goes backwards. You think they care when he was there? They don't care at all. It's a sense of a gullish mentality that we have, and we're saying to Hashem Baruch Hu, if you want to do a tshuva shleima, you need to restore us to the original place of pride that we're supposed to have among the nations. This is a very big idea. And now, after the Rebbe has said this very beautiful and daring idea, now he starts to talk to them about their responsibility And just in terms of our own chinuch. How the Rebbe did not run to tell them what their job was. He first gave them a sense of comfort that this was a place that they should feel safe, and then he said not the mussar, but then he said the thing that maybe was a little bit more difficult to hear, and as we'll see, maybe exceptionally difficult to hear. But he did it in a very intelligent way.

24:21 And not only the way that we mechanech our children, I would also just remind us the way that we mechanech ourselves, right, that inner voice of cruelty that sometimes many of us have that speaks with no compassion and right away gets to the gut and tells us exactly what a piece of garbage we are. Nobody hates themselves into change. Our own voice of safety should come first. Just a little. Whatever it is, that's a little something. And we also need to do tshuva like Hakadosh Baruch Hu does. When a yid goes ahead and he does tshuva Because he did an avera, which is of course the most limited view of what tshuva is. Tshuva is not a response to an avera. That's eres tshuva one on one. That tshuva is not a response to an avera. Tshuva is a worldview. And if a person does an avera, but machshava di bramayso one of the three levushim of expressing ourselves as nishar shuv b'matzav v'hakodem shahayakodem achet. So I did an avera. I don't do that avera anymore. That's it. It's not meaningful. It's not meaningful.

25:36 But that's a very primary, very basic, very low level form of tshuva. That's the way a child would do tshuva. I did a bad thing. I'm not going to do a bad thing anymore. From an adult, we would expect significantly more than that. From an adult, we would say What brought me here? How can this place that I am create fundamental change in my life? How can it bring me to a place that I've never experienced about myself before? These are the questions that an adult would ask themselves. They would use the urido to become a jumping point to fundamentally change who they are, and this not only, like the Alter Rebbe said, when they asked them what was the purpose of chesedos. This not only l'shana es midaysof. It's not only to change our actions, but l'shana es tivaysof that a person, that the Alter Rebbe said, that a person can fundamentally change their character.

26:25 An avera is an opportunity for a person to take a deep look inside of themselves and fundamentally change the person that they are. So when a person only does tshuva from the avera, it's like It's childish. That's like your teacher told you not to do that anymore. So now I'm a good boy or a good girl and I don't do that anymore. But that's not what we would expect from a thirty year old or a forty year old or a fifty year old. He says shagam ken lahayim nealiya. Rakshachet hazelo hayolo. So you're not any more of a growth-oriented person because you did tshuva on this particular avera. It's just okay now. This avera you want to the ikar ha tshuva he shuva yisrael ad Hashem alokacha. The main thing of tshuva is that klayisah should return ad. What does ad mean? It means all the way back to Hashem alokacha. All the way back doesn't mean I'm not going to do that avera. That's very childish. It means I'm going to return and restore those original factory settings. To get all the way back to the very beginning.

27:26 This is why the pasuk needs to tell us this. Because we say we stumbled and we sinned. If a person could think it's good enough. We said, Shuvah Yisrael had Hashem like Echah. Why does it have to say Shuvah Yisrael had Hashem like Echah? Because I stumbled and I sinned. So now I won't do that anymore. Shuvah Yisrael Ad Hashem L'Kachud demands much more than I'm just not doing the avera anymore. Just like the same way we said about Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that it's not enough for Hakadosh Baruch Hu to say I'm not going to bring ra anymore, or I'm not going to do the thing that I said I was going to do. That's like removing the avera. We demand of Hakadosh Baruch Hu that He does much more than that. We demand of Hakadosh Baruch Hu that He goes all the way and says I'm going to restore you to the position that you are meant to be in.

28:19 Sabenu baBeiker Chastecha. I'm going to raise you up. I'm going to give you complete. You're going to be satisfied. You're going to have. You're going to be satisfied in the morning. You feel a sense of belonging and identity, and that's who we're supposed to be. The same thing, the Rebbe says. You have to do that also. It's not enough for you to say, "I'm not going to do this haver anymore." Hakadosh Baruch Hu demands of you that you also return to your original factory settings, and that you also are leading an elevated life and a life of kedusha v'tara. And that there's a sense of innocence, not because you're not doing the avera, but because you feel good and positive about what you're bringing into the relationship. That a person should be elevated, a person should be serving Hashem from that place. Here, the Rebbe says something unbelievable.

29:14 Ashrechem Yisrael lifnei miatam etarim mi metaras kam avichem shabash amay. We all know the Mishnah; it's a very famous song. Sing it on some chas Torah. Ashrechem Yisrael, how lucky is Klal Yisrael? Praiseworthy is Klal Yisrael because lifnei mi atam etarim, who are in front of who are we? Tower and who is metaras avichem shabash amay. Kibasfar makadosh kibasefar makadosh arvei nacha. Parshas Masay. The arvei nachal brings. Maybe b'shem chuous maram He brings from the maram in Rottenburg. Shekabale ish mipish He had a tradition passed down from one person to another. She nerag al kadosh Hashem yisbarach in omargish isurim klah That a Jew who's dying al kiddush Hashem does not feel any pain. Imagine what it was like to say this in the Warsaw ghetto. Knowing that their cousins were walking into the crematorium, being burned and cooked alive And that he's saying that those Jews who were makabul on themselves to die al kiddush Hashem in those moments felt no pain.

30:21 Rava Kiva felt no pain when he was being tortured by the Romans. This was the kabbalah that he had from the Maran Miranberg. I can't imagine. I can imagine in my head that when the Rebbe was saying these things, to see them in the Warsaw Ghetto, I imagine as he was saying, you could hear a pin drop, and the place was like. Are you saying this to us right now? I can't imagine what it was like to be there. The Eimer Arve Nachal Hatan, and Arve Nachal explains what is this idea that when a person dies al Kiddush Hashem, they feel no pain. Shakiva shemes loiv becheshek nimratz sheharigal kiddush hashemayus barach Whom Malas Kolchushev. When a person is burning, when they have that holy fire And they have this unbelievable desire, the Sheshek Nimratz. That they should have the opportunity to die and be marbek veid Shamayim in the world. Their death should be not purposeful. To die al kiddush Hashem doesn't mean like Martin Luther King Jr.

31:19 That's not what it means to die al kiddush Hashem. If Martin Luther King Jr. had known what his death would do for the civil rights movement, he would have gladly died. Such a dying is a logical dying. It makes sense to die for a cause. That's not what it means to die al Kiddush Hashem. What it means to die al Kiddush Hashem is that the Jewish soul has no choice but to express itself. Like in a moment when a person puts a gun to your head and says Do Avaydu Zara It may logically make more sense for you to stay alive, but the Jewish soul, upon threat of being extinguished in that moment Is excited for the opportunity to express its identity. It's not logical. It's not to advance a cause. It might be illogical. It's certainly super rational. It's not within the gather of logic.

32:13 So when such a person is in such a state And they have the opportunity; this we'll see soon. This is where the way of Akiva lived his entire life. When a person has the opportunity to express their very nature, there's so much cheshek in there. That a person is no longer bound by their normal kelim. They're no longer contained within the regular ma'arechet that a person is normally contained within. Huma le es kol chushav, everything becomes elevated el olim hamachshava. You're no longer the reason you don't feel pain is because you're not in the world of pain anymore. You're in the world of machshava. Machshava is within the physical world, but you can't touch it. You can measure a brain wave, but you can't measure a thought. Thought is not within. It's within the realm of the physical, but it's the barest level of physical. And in the order, it's machshava and then emotion. But that's not what I'm asking about here. And if you're asking about the world of action. But in the world of machshava, which is the highest level thing, and still be in this world, there's no such thing as pain in the world of machshava. A person's gone beyond the world of pain.

33:22 It's like you seek a parent who would save their child even if it meant their own death, right? Like, there would almost be a smile on that mother's lips as she had the opportunity because she doesn't hold in the pain of the thing that took her life. The thing she did is so much bigger than the pain, right? So you're not bogged down by the pain. We're only bogged down by the pain to the degree that we're present within the world in which the pain is occurring. But when a person is living on that level, they're dying al kiddush Hashem. This is the expression of me. Imagine if Hashem you lost the opportunity to be you. Whatever is core to you, I don't want to give any examples. I don't want to Hashem hurt anybody or say anything. But let's say there's something that's core to your identity, and in a very painful place, it was taken away from you, where maybe you didn't have the opportunity to express it. The pain would be exceptionally difficult. Like, how could I be me without that?

34:19 Here it's exactly the opposite. It's the ultimate expression of me. I'm not bound by kelim anymore, so I'm not in the world of pain. I'm in the world of machshava. So my entire chushim are in the world of machshava. I'm not concentrating on the physical pain that I'm experiencing because I'm not even there. So what happens? There's a total surrender of all of the emotion and all of the physical feeling in his gashmius body. Everything is nespachit. Everything is dissolved. And therefore, the only thing that a person feels, and this is the Kabbalah that he had, Ishmi Piish, that the Arviv Nachal is bringing for the Maromi Rutenberg, that the only thing that a person feels when they're dying al Kiddush Hashem is a complete sense of pleasure. Not holding within that pain at all. And here the Rebbe says, "V'chein Hu Gam B'shar Yisurim She'ish HaYisraeli Seivel." This is true not only of the person dying al Kiddush Hashem.

35:12 But it's true on every single level from all of the pain that any Jew feels. It's difficult to feel pain. It's difficult to go through difficult things. Hashem yirachem, we aser osam hitano. Hashem should have mercy on us and remove this pain from us. But let's say a person would use the pain as an opportunity, and they would calibrate their thinking. And they would say to themselves, and it's again, it's so impossible for me to believe that the Rebbe was able to say this to those Chassidim, to those Jews that were listening to him at that time. I, even as I read the words, I was like Would I have had the guts? Would I have had the courage to say what the Rebbe said? Absolutely not. But this is what he said. He said, when a Jew is standing there in that pain, and he's able to inculcate into his thoughts that this is all, so that I am cleansed of my chatan. It's a purification process, so that I should be able to draw close to Hashem. But that's really the side of everything, by the way. Because if we want to have a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, like the Ramchal says, a person has to have a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu on three levels: mitzvot, tshuva, and yisurin. The first level is introducing Hashem into our mitzvot.

36:35 Which is not simple at all, because we all know that we do mitzvot without thinking about Hashem on any level. And the second level is I did an avera. Can I introduce Hashem into my averas, which is also not a simple thing But that's what I call Hashem who wants. I call Hashem who wants us and to say, this is what I did. This, by the way, isn't that what we all want? It's what we want from our children. It's what we want from our spouses. It's what we want to be able to do with another. We want to be able to go to our spouse and say, I did something that I'm really not proud of, and I did it to you. And I want to be able to share it here, and I want you to be able to contain it and to see it for what it is, and be in a healthy way detached. And not to take it personally, so that I can be myself with you in my totality, even in the things that I am really not proud of, and for you to give me the space to be able to return to you. That would be an unbelievable gift in all of our relationships. This is what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants from us too.

37:24 But the deepest dimension Tell me, there, Emchal, bring from the Emchal, is Yisurin. Can you introduce Hakadosh Baruch Hu into your pain? And what does that mean? How does a Jew find God within his own suffering, within her own suffering? How does a Jew do that? The Rambam says this spells out Matay. Mitzvos Shuve and Yusur, and like Admasai. When will Mashiach come? When we introduce Hakadosh Baruch Hu into all dimensions of our relationship. When we're able to understand that the nature of suffering is actually Hakadosh Baruch Hu drawing close. And I have no idea what to do with that. I'm just telling you this is what the Rebbe said. That a Jew should be able to be in that place and to feel so pushed away and to feel all the pain and loss and suffering and all of those things and to be able to say, and yet all of this is in order to draw me close, and it's that level of emuna that a Jew has and that a Jew has had throughout history, that when we undergo this unbelievable suffering, we're loyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu because we're able to say

38:24 I'm here and I understand that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not pushing me away, Adrabbu. He's bringing me close, but there's a painful process that we go through as we become less and less accustomed to our physical body because the physical body is under so much pain. I know that all of this is a tahara process. As b'midah shemis amik umis kasher yosr machshavu zu to the degree that a Jew is able to really inculcate this machshava into themselves, yosr koshia yosr nasim kalim the yosr naych lo lizbalisim. He says, "To the degree that you understand this, to the degree you're not suffering anymore." Everything that's terrible happening around you, if you could focus your mind and your energy and train yourself to realize this is part of the process of tahara, says then you're not suffering. That's the famous line, right? Pain is inevitable, but suffering doesn't have to be. I could be in terrible pain, but I'm not suffering. Suffering is when I have no idea why this is happening.

39:26 It's like a. I'm not a person who likes to go to the gym and lift heavy things. Some men like to do this. They like the schmack from doing it. I tried to be that person for a little bit. It's not me. And you and they're suffering. They're really in pain and they're screaming. It hurts. And yet none of them are suffering. Why? Because they have a clear understanding of why I'm doing this. Some men are not suffering. They're in pain. Other of you ask them, aren't you in pain? They go. No pain, no gain, right? And they say that very manly, like you got to feel the burn, Rabbi. I'm like, calm down, eighteen year old with a massive amount of testosterone. I can't talk. I can't talk to this human being right now. Let's get you back in the beis medrash. Calm you down. We'll put a sefer in front of us, and then we can have a conversation about anything but the sefer. That's my territory, right? But they're not holding by suffering. They're holding by pain. I can't imagine. I've only seen it from the outside. I imagine when a person is going through childbirth, it's something exceptionally similar. The pain must be unbelievable, and I don't think anybody would describe it as suffering.

40:31 And this is what the Rebbe is saying to them. He's saying to them, maybe I overstep my boundaries. Painful. I'm not. I'm not chashshol. Minimum is in the pain. I understand. I know that I don't understand. A person has to be very careful when he speaks. To the degree that we understand something, we're able to solve it. We're able to contain it. The loy zubavad. Not only this, and here's the big punchline: rakiven shibuuvde the lasata is aruuvde the leil. We know that whenever there's something that happens down below in our world, it creates a hisayrus in awakening up above. And so the Rebbe says, lachein k'moishanu misamkim miskashim kalkach machshav azuliskashul Hashem ad shahargoshosen lishalonim isbatlois. We're working so hard to attach ourselves to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and to inculcate this idea that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, with all of these difficulties, is really just trying to draw us close. It's so much so that to the degree that we're not even feeling this pain anymore, our hargoshes, the hargoshes of pain, we're not even paying attention to it anymore because it's not where I'm holding mentally. So I'm not worried about the physical pain. It's not where I am.

41:47 Then that awakens in Hakadosh Baruch Hu that he does the same exact thing, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu also has an awakening from within. Hakadosh Baruch Hu also feels a sense of kaviyachol. That I don't want to feel the thing that I'm feeling right now towards Klal Yisroel Like a parent who's upset at their child and then they see that the child is just drawing close to them and is not paying attention to anything else. I just want to be close to you. It awakens a feeling in the parent that I also don't want to pay attention to the feeling that I'm having. I want to rise above kaviochol the feeling that I'm having and return to you. We started off. The Rebbe started off by saying that a kodesh baruch hu has to do a full tshuva and be mischarred over what he did and return us to the original state that we're supposed to be in, which is this elevated state. And then the Rebbe comes along and he says, 'But you also have to do that. You also have to go to an elevated state.'

42:39 It can't just be an azivasachet. And then the Rebbe says that there's such a thing as a Jew getting to a state of complete tainuk, that when all the pain is going on in their life, not only are they not suffering, but they're not even machshav the physical. There's a total hispotless of the physical, and now the Rebbe is saying, if you'll do that, not just if you're dying Akedah Hashem, but here in the Warsaw Ghetto where you're thrown out of your apartment, you don't know where your next meal is coming from, you have no medicine, you're seeing your children crying. If you'll become a person who, in such a state, recognizes that this is all a drawing close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, to the degree that you're not thinking about all the pain that's going on All there is the pleasure of being drawn close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, then that awakens in Hakadosh Baruch Hu the same midah, and this is what's going to bring the Yeshua. He says, 'So now all of this and all the anger that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has, it's totally rectified. It totally dissipates because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is rising above the same way we're rising above.'

43:33 And this is the Yeshua in all in Yonan. The salvation comes from leaning into the pain that we have, rising above that pain, and awakens in Hakadosh Baruch Hu that He too rises above His pain with us. And this Piel Yeshuos. This is how we're going to leave. Rav Kiva and when Rav Kiva was being tortured by the Romans. And he died al kiddush Hashem, as we know. What does the Gemara say? Let's just review the Gemara outside for a second. The Gemara tells us that Rav Akiva was having his flesh combed off by the Romans. And he was saying kriyashma And the Talmidim said to him, "Revi, even now, you're saying kriyashma." And he said, 'What do you mean? Every single day when I'm saying kriyashma, it says I say bechal nashshacha, I feel not the loss neshmasecha. Even if Hakadosh Baruch Hu will take my life' Right? But I don't do it.

44:28 I don't die now that I have the opportunity to die. Al kiddush Hashem, I shouldn't say kriyashma. And with that, he said, "Shema Israel, Hashem Alkeino, Hashem Echad." He was myrech be'echad. He extended echad. If you ever see, sometimes you'll see in davening, you see certain people that they go echad. They're myrech be'echad. That comes from Rav Kiva. There is an elongation of the word echad. Parchat Nesmas, and this is how Rav Kiva passed away. Agav, just before we get back to the P. S. S. Line, I must share this word with you because it's one of the most stunning, beautiful words. In my entire life, I believe it's from the Rosh Hashanah. He says as follows: What does this whole idea mean? Every day when you do kriyas ma'afila, notos neshmasacha. What's going on here? The Rosh Hashanah Rebbe says, really, when you do a mitzvah, the mitzvah should kill you. You do a mitzvah with proper tekez. The connection between you and our Kaddish Baruch was so great that your body should simply disappear. Your soul should just float out of your body, like what happened to Klal Yisrael at Sinai.

45:24 So why doesn't it? Because the pasuk says v'chaybahem, chaybahem means and you shall live by them. Meaning, b'derek halav, somebody puts a gun to your head and says that you should die. You are supposed to do the avera. So the Rosh Hashanah interprets it. He says v'chaybahem means the mitzvah gives you chayus, the mitzvah gives you life. So a mitzvah really should kill you But it doesn't kill you paradoxically. Because the mitzvah itself gives you life. The mitzvah that should kill you gives you life. When do you not have that? If you have to die, al kiddush Hashem. This is what Rabbi Kipa was saying. The Talmidim came to him and said, 'Rabbi, you said Kriyshma. Now he goes every day when I say Kriyshma, I'm ready to die. The nature of my dvekas to Hashem is so profound and so powerful that it's almost impossible to conceive of life.' I should die, but because the pasuk says v'chayvahem, Kriyshma gives me life.

46:10 But now that there's no v'chayvahem because I'm dying al Kiddush Hashem, the mitzvah could finally kill me. So Rabbi Kiva says, 'Shma Yisrael, Hashem L'kino Hashem Echad.' He was mirach be'echad means he attaches himself to the oneness of Hashem, and then he dies. Says the Ruzhin Rebbe, who killed Rav Akiva. We're growing up. We all know who killed Rav Akiva. The Romans killed Rav Akiva. It's not true. Kriyashma killed Rav Akiva. Meaning the dvekas that he had from saying Kriyashma with no vechaybahem parochan eshmaasa. He simply his soul left his body. That's a deeper understanding of what's going on in this gemara. But here the Rebbe says beautifully. He says, "Gam b'ha yisurim asrechem Yisrael." This is why Rav Akiva said asrechem yisrael. Why? Because know in that state of yisurim, if you'll know from that place of pain, who is being metiru Who's drawing you close? All this suffering that you're going through is really a purification process. You'll know it's from Hashem. He as her go shoseichem es batlois ve'en cham argishem es yisurim. And now you'll get to the point because you'll remember all of this Hashem, all of this a process of being drawn close. So you're not paying attention to the pain anymore.

47:25 Va'od zoy said, not only do you not pay attention to the pain, it gets to the point where you're gormim the Yeshua You're bringing about the Yeshua. Why? Because it's avichem shabbashamayim, avichem dafta. It's specifically the father. Why? Ke'av shemevat elaskasol u'tovas bano. It's like a father who's like this: This is my child, and I see that my child just wants to be close to me. How am I going to be angry at them? So the hour drawing close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and recognizing Hakadosh Baruch Hu from within the pain is exactly what awakens in Hakadosh Baruch Hu the desire not to give us any pain. Kainu yisbarach oysa hakol amanchem, and now Hakadosh Baruch Hu will do this for us. Ume mele kol adina mispatim And all of the terrible decrees that have been brought about in Eretz Yisrael will be nullified. Or be emes toshar Ashrei chayesra And then we will have a Yeshua, and this is why Rav Kiva said Ashrei chayesra.

48:23 So what an unbelievable message of hope. Ashrei chayesra, don't worry, all of this is good. All of this is good. Can't imagine what it was like to hear this droshe, no? It's crazy. And one could only imagine if the Piasetner would have been able to live for just a couple of years, what he might have seen. We'll stop here.