Aish Kodesh - 3 (Rosh Hashana)

2:20 But even worse, v'gamal atzmo ena mekabel amachuso. Even on himself, the person himself is not mekabel amachus Shamayim. He's come. He's gone so far down the path of hanging out with these terrible people that it's gotten to the point where he doesn't recognize his own father. There's no difference between his father and another person. It happens that the melech, as a result of this behavior. He throws his son out of the palace to these people that are causing great pain to the prince. They're persecuting the prince. And now this prince who's been thrown out of his father's palace Because these mikatragim came after the prince. And they said your own son doesn't recognize you, and the son is now thrown out of the palace. And in that place where he's thrown out of the palace, these people are coming after him, and they're causing him great pain. So what happens? In such a state From the pain that he has, he begins to cry out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hey Chassariza Abul, look what's missing in my life. Hey Kan Koyev, look Tati, look how much pain I'm in.

3:47 V'hiskol k'vayal la'seis leid al mitzvayis aviv, and what happens in this state of pain? So he starts to He starts to think about what are the things that my father desires from me in this world. From that place of pain, a person could have many heru rechuve. V'gam b'keish v'kar ahoy avirachem alay v'atzilena. Not only that, from the pain, he starts to cry out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu when he requests, please, my father, have mercy on me and save me. Rachim v'karveni, have mercy on me and bring me close. V'hashivein li alecha, return myself to you. V'as kol rutzoyin chayem alei, and then I will do everything you ask of me. Rifanali mikol makosai, heal me from all my wounds. Echse uchal ato lassos kechal asher alay lassos em yaday nishpuros, because how can I possibly serve you if my hands are broken, if I'm in shackles? How can I possibly begin to serve you?

4:44 Libi alay davei, and my heart is so full of worry. Viroishem alay pezaim, and my head is covered in wounds. So you hear this, you hear the prince, and you can imagine again. It doesn't take much to imagine what it must have been like to be a person in the Warsaw ghetto who was hearing this, because they understood that the Rebbe was talking to them, and that the mashal that the Rebbe's father had given so many years prior was so applicable to their lives. Because what was the mashal? You fell out of favor. From Hakadosh Baruch Hu, because you didn't see the difference between Hakadosh Baruch Hu and anyone else, and you weren't paying attention. You forgot the fact that he was your father, and now you're calling out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in pain, and now you're having all these hirurei tshuva, and these beautiful words are coming out of your mouth. But look what it continues. He says, "Gam ata" Even now in this place where I'm calling out to you, even now lachosur mekachigan These mekachigan, these prosecuting angels. They're coming after me even now, even in this state where I'm calling out all these beautiful things, and I'm saying, Tati, please return me, and Tati, please heal me, and all I want is to be close to you. Even now, these prosecuting angels are still coming after me.

5:55 But I'm remembering what they are saying. Even now, when this person is calling out Hakadosh Baruch Hu's name, and he's calling out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Malchus, even now. This is what the angels are saying. All these beautiful things that are coming out of your mouth aren't true. It's not really you. The only reason they're coming out of your mouth is because you're in pain, and because you were thrown out of your father's house. And because all these people are chasing after you, so you're calling out. And why are you calling out? Because this is what you do. Not because you have any real heruv echuvah, but because when you were a kid, it was engraved on your heart that when a Jew is in trouble, he calls out to Hashem. But have you really done teshuva? Do you really recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu? That's what these prosecuting angels are saying.

6:59 They're coming after this and they're saying you think all these beautiful things are coming out of your mouth, Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's not real. I mentioned this a minute ago, but I think I think if I could suggest That this marshal, being said to those Jews at that time in the Warsaw Ghetto, I believe That perhaps the Ish Kodesh was addressing the psychology of these people. Who before Rosh Hashanah Are they asking themselves, am I really a true Eved Hashem? Meaning, last week we spoke about the fact that they were asking for their own personal bakachus. They were asking. To make things right in their life, and perhaps they felt guilty over that. The H. Kodesh comes and he tells them, "No, other Abba." Calling out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and asking for your personal tze'arachim is the best possible thing you could do because it shows how authentic your relationship is. But maybe in their heart of hearts, what they were saying is, "I'm not real."

7:53 In the Warsaw Ghetto, as I'm being attacked by the Nazis, as everything is going wrong in my life, I'm calling out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And why am I calling out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Because that's what Yidden did. That's what I saw my father do, and that's what we did at this time of year. But to say that I'm really doing tshuva, that I'm really asking Hakadosh Baruch Hu to untie me and to unshackle me and to take away all this worry so that I could serve Him—is that really who I am? That doubt that we all have when we do tshuva. It's not a simple doubt. We all have that inner voice that says to us, "Maybe" A person can have this even when they're in their thirties and forties and fifties. Maybe they see a video on YouTube, one of these atheist videos, and maybe they start to say, 'Oh, that's Taka, a good question.' And maybe they wonder, 'Am I really being legitimate by my Yiddishkeit? Maybe I'm just not paying attention. Maybe this all a fake.

8:45 And other, but there, my wife had a line she told me this week. She said, "There's no atheists in a foxhole," but then she said the line was Hashem created foxholes so there would be no atheists. That was the line. Their foxholes were created so that there would be no atheist. So maybe a person is taka in a foxhole, and he taka reaches out to a kabbal shparfu, and then he's asking themselves. Really, is it really me, or is it just because I'm in a foxhole? And what else? What else was I supposed to turn to? I had nowhere else to turn, so I had that religious moment. But that religious moment was just a product of my own psychology. None of this is real. And that little puncture in the balloon has the capacity to deflate the entire balloon. I imagine that in the Ish Kodesh's head, at that time he was addressing their inner worries that perhaps they themselves didn't know how to articulate.

9:36 And is any of this real? That we're crying out to our Kodesh Baruch Hu on Rosh Hashanah, is any of this real? Maybe I'm just doing this because this is what you do. These are what these prosecuting angels are saying in Shamayim. This is not real. He's just calling out Avi because that's what he always did. But he's not really crying out. Because he wants to be close to Hashem, he's crying out because he's in pain. And once again, it goes back to that narcissism that we spoke about in the very beginning. This Jew is not there because they're authentically trying to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. This Yid is there because they're just, I'm in so much pain and I can't deal with the pain anymore. But it has nothing to do really with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And these prosecuting angels, they bring a raya. So what happens? They bring a raya. You really listen to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? You listen to anyone. Today you listen. Today you're crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Tomorrow you'll be listening to this cham and to that cham, and you'll go in a different way. And you have your friends doing this, so you decide to go there. And the community is doing this And it's the standard of the community. So I go there.

10:54 It has nothing to do with what's real. We're just like these social creatures that do whatever is being done. So you think that you're a real person because you're crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in pain because of everything that's going wrong in your life. Has nothing to do with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's only your pain. You're only trying to fanf for your pain. None of this is real. Because if it was really real, that it was only about Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you would only follow Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But the reality is that we all follow people. We all do things that we know we shouldn't do. And we and why do we do them? Because we're following other people. We're not thinking necessarily for ourselves, and that's the feeling I believe that we all have inside of us that the Eish Kodesh is giving. He's giving voice to. But then what happens? The king is walking by one of the windows, of this room where his son is, and it's at a time.

11:46 When the sun has yishuvadas, it's a time when the sun is not under tremendous oppression. He's not being hunted down by Nazis in Machshamah, and he's not going through all sorts of sorrows and sagid olbanim with our spouses. It's a time where everything is good. V'hischil lotzek es kol za akosev shayad darchi lotzek ish. And here the Melech hears the cries of the prince, and the cries have nothing to do with the fact that he's in pain because he's not in pain at that moment. And everything is good in his life, and still the king hears that the prince is crying, and he's being tsayik all of these tsakas. Hay kaiyvli, Ay Rebbeinu Shlomim, in so much pain. Hay lecholinly, Rebbeinu Shlomim, I don't have any food. And again, everything is good. He's not in that moment. He's fine. He has yishavadas. There are things that he's missing in his life. Hashiveni avi, Karveni lecha.

12:38 Return. Return me to you, my father. Bring me close to you. But the cry here is so impassioned that literally the walls are shaking. It's not a regular cry. It's a cry from a place of yishuvadas. But it's a cry that's so piercing that the walls of the house are shaking. And this is what the melech hears when he's passing by the chaline. So what happens? Verots aviv elov, and the father runs to him. The melech runs to the prince. The karvei when he draws him close, velachu elov, and he takes him to. And once again, these mekatzigim, these prosecuting angels, they're coming to the melech And they're saying to the melech, 'You got fooled. You were walking under the chalone. You heard your son crying.' He's saying, 'Oh, I'm missing Rebbeinu Shlom. I don't have any food. Rebbeinu Shlom, I'm in so much pain.' And you ran to him, and you ran, and you pulled him close to you, but he didn't cry those cries because he really wants to be close to you. He gilut sa'ikabayecha. He's rabial to do this. It's normal. It's a normal thing for a person. It's the psychology of a person to cry out to the Rebbeinu Shlom.

13:50 The chigamata ainamakirz of it. And even now, he has no idea who you are. He's not listening to you any more than he's listening to anyone else. And if he's not makir you, then he's not makir your malchus either. Meaning, this person who you saw, this ben melech who you heard He's not really your son. He doesn't really know that you're his father. He's not being makabul the malchus. He's not really part of this. And what's the king's response? Here are maleim avot of alamah. And now The prince becomes furious. Now I see that all of the things that you've been saying all these years are not because they're true. It's not because my son didn't love me. It's not because my son didn't care about me. It's not because my son didn't recognize me. Other Rebbe, it says more about you than it does about my son. And the only reason that you're coming after my son is because of the hatred that you have towards my son.

14:55 Because I heard this is what the king is saying. I heard in these cries where he was in a state of yishavadass, and I was passing under his window, and he didn't even know I was there. I heard in these cries an authentic recognition of who I am. Why did he? Why is he so upset in this moment? It's because he finds. It's because he does recognize me that I am the melech. And everything is in my hands. This is what the king is saying to these makatrichim. He's saying, "No, you're wrong. This cry of this ben melech, this cry of this prince, is an authentic cry. And other rabbi, it's because I passed under the window that this cry came forth. And he understands that I'm the only one that could bring salvation to him. As divrei shuvasei beemess mitoch kabbalas al shav v'af es bakashaso al tsrachav mitoch karkas kabbalas malchusi tzayik. He's crying out because he wants to be mekabel amach Shamayim. He's crying out because he wants to do tshuva, and even the makasha stroch of even the personal things that the prince is asking for is only because he recognizes that I'm the melech, and he's crying out because he wants to have a relationship.

16:11 The hanim shall move on. And the nimshel is understood. Sheyisrael b'nivachayisrael That the prince here is the Jewish people. B'shvilam bara Hashem eskal ha'ilamis v'shehemi na'agos kal ha'ilamis. Hashem Baruch Hu created all the worlds for us, and so that we should be nayig with Hashem Baruch Hu in all of the worlds. Umitchila kain haye bechinas Yisrael asher bechas pareh. And from the very beginning, it was our job To bring glory to Hashem Baruch Hu's name in this world. But the nature of the Jewish people, the history of the Jewish people, is that we have left the way. Hakadosh Baruch Hu created us to walk. We left that path every generation. Not only in two thousand and twenty-two, where Baruch Hashem, every kind of expert has figured out that today's children are worse than every other generation. Even though we've been saying that for every generation, so maybe we should stop saying it. It's always the Hachodesh was speaking about this in the Warsaw Ghetto, so it's clear that it didn't start with technology. I am not saying that technology doesn't have its challenges.

17:16 But it's clear that the notion of a yid leaving the direkh is something that's part and parcel of creation itself, and Jews have been doing it since the dawn of time. The Kitzur Gubemaramaleim And because we left the way Because we left, we went off the derech. So there were these Kitzurugim. There were these prosecuting angels. And part of the Kitzurug was on us. Was as a result of all of the study that we got involved in, the fact that we totally lost track of who Akol D'Shbaru is in this world So Leitz Aviyot. So we turned towards idolatry. And we continue to do this in our generation. We also are turning towards idolatry. Everybody is turning towards idolatry. The idolatry is anything that we're putting our faith in that's not the Rabbinic law. For the easy one to talk about is today. The culture of money, and getting so lost in placing our faith and trust, and if I had money, everything would be okay. That's the easy one to talk about. Could I just spend a minute on it? Money is not the enemy, but money has the capacity to do amazing things.

18:39 But there's such a lachats, there's such an emotional place that we're wrapped up in. What will happen if I don't have money? That's a good question, but it's like we began to serve money. My father many years ago said to me, anything that money can solve is not a problem. So I said to him, that's easy to say. You have it. If you have money, then it's not a problem. So he said, no, you're misunderstanding me. Said especially in the Jewish community If money can solve the problem, it's not a problem. Let's say you needed a million dollar surgery. Today you put up a GoFundMe. Everyone posts it on their status, put it on Instagram, social media. A Jewish family that needs a million dollars for a surgery will have a million dollars. It's an unbelievable thing today. I'm so impressed with Klal Yisrael that now, if Chas v'Shalom a person passes away at a young age and leaves a family behind to put together a half a million dollars within 48 hours of the person's petira, it's being done all over the place. That the family shouldn't go without food to eat and without having their mortgage paid. It's unbelievable how Klal Yisrael steps up.

19:46 My father was saying If money can't solve it, that's a problem. The things that money can't solve are a real problem. We put so much faith and so much time and effort, rightfully so. We put so much time into it because In a certain way, it's leitz avyot. We're putting our faith in that and not in the rebbeinu shem. And there's a tremendous amount of daigus that come with that. And it's also with chassidim. It's like I'm putting my faith. I'm putting my faith in this teacher. This rabbi is going to be the one to save my kid. This moresh is going to be the one to save, or this specialist, or this therapist. All of these things are kalim of the rebbeinu shalom, but it's leitz avyate. It comes from an impoverished mentality That there's this thing that's going to solve my problem. I had the schuss this week This week, last week.

20:37 What's today? I was in Florida last week. I discussed last week speaking to refrain wax from shliita. I'm sure some of you have heard of Waxman Shira. If you haven't, kadday to listen to. He's an unbelievable speaker with beautiful tires. So I asked him maybe a chutzpah question. I had the opportunity to drive him around. I asked him how did like how did you become a Waxman? Not I didn't ask like in terms of becoming Yerushalmi that I knew I wasn't going to understand, but I wanted to know like how do you become this world-renowned speaker? Said Poshel, I have no idea. I didn't try for it. It happened. It was part of the Rebbeinu Shalom's plan. He said, "If the Rebbeinu Shalom wants these messages, they could come out from a cup of water." That's what he said. If they could come from a cup of water. So I said to him, "So is that the key? You made yourself into a cup of water" "Like you humbled yourself to be a cup of water." And he looked at me and he goes, "But isn't it true?

21:31 I am a cup of water. I'm no different than all I am is the vehicle of the Rebbeinu Shalom. I was so nispol from that. It was so his humility. It was so all encompassing that he looks. This is me, the cup of water. Whatever the Rebbeinu Shlom does with us, it was a total bittel for the Rebbeinu Shlom. And then I understood why he became who he became, because the Rebbeinu Shlom always gives voice to his lessons that need to be brought into the world through those people. But it's all the Eitz Avi Yotah. This is what the Makatze Gemar is saying. They're saying this, but it's not really connecting to your Rebbeinu Shlom. You're just another thing that they're using. To solve their pain, just like they're using a therapist to solve their pain, just like they're talking to a friend there to solve their pain, and it's like I don't want to carry this burden alone, so I'll shmooze with a friend. So, also I think it's important to daven to solve this pain. But be'etzem, what am I? What am I worried about? I'm not worried about my relationship with Rabbi Nachum. I'm worried about getting out of the pain.

22:24 It's amazing how we use Rabbi Nachum like a vending machine. You see it in its most pristine form by the sixteen, seventeen year old kids that say "Am I allowed to daven for my basketball team to win the championship?" What they're really asking is, I want something, so am I allowed to press a four and put in my seventy-five cents and get a championship ring out of that? What's called that? But we do it as parents also. I want my kid to be good, so I'm davening that my kid should be good. It's like the rabbanim Shalom is the vehicle to get us there, but really, what I want is my kid to be good. As opposed to the fact that I want my kid to be good for the Rebbeinu Shlom, I'm davening for the Rebbeinu Shlom, I'm davening to the Rebbeinu Shlom to connect to the Rebbeinu Shlom, and in connecting to the Rebbeinu Shlom will bring shefa to my life so that I could serve the Rebbeinu Shlom. It's a different way of looking at it. It's not narcissistic, but it's all the Eitz Aviata. It's all of this notion of using the Rebbeinu Shlulam or whatever means necessary to get what I want. It's all part of this Avodah. This is what the Makatzer Gemara is saying.

23:21 And the king throws them out of the palace to these people that are torturing the ben melech. And now he begins to feel the pain of all of these nazis imachshamam that are coming after him, and all of the different things in our life that are causing us this sadness. We cry out to the Rebbeinu Shlom. Tati, it's hurting. This is what I'm missing in my life. And why'd you send me so far away from you? Please bring me close to you. This is what a yid calls out all the time. And these mekatrogim—they're not yeshiv batal. They're not staying still. These mekatrogim are saying even now where this yid is crying out and he's saying. Rebbe Nachman, why am I so far from you? Draw me close to you, even now. You should know. It's nothing. They're not really makir malchus Yisparach. These people are not humbling themselves. They're not nullifying themselves to Malchus Shamayim. They're crying out because they're in pain. When they had neviim shluchim hanigle me Hashem Hashemayoz. When they shluchim and they starb. They're crying out because they're in pain.

24:44 And why are they doing this? Because of all of the different messengers that have been sent, both those shluchim that are negalim from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the revealed shluchim that are obviously coming from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and also those shluchim that are nistarim that are hidden, those hidden shluchim that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is sending, and what happens? Mr. Agamuloshov, we have become ragel. We've become accustomed to doing tshuva. It's every single shmuz that we hear, every single "el nu do tshuva." This the zaman of tshuva. This the zaman of tshuva. So why does the yid do tshuva? The yid does tshuva because the yid does tshuva. But is it a real tshuva? Is it really malchus shamayim? It's just the shmuz you heard. That's the thing that you do. But is it a hartzig tshuva? Is it an emotional response to something? It's not. Avakol rakrikelus. All of this is just habit.

25:31 It's habit. This is what. It's what you didn't do. They keep kosher. It's what you didn't do. It's a habit. I was talking to my when I went to Florida. So I have a ninety-nine-year-old great aunt. My grandmother, Alea Shalom's sister. So my grandmother and her sister, her older sister Were best friends. It was the sweetest relationship you ever saw in your entire life. Two sisters who loved each other more than life itself, and they spoke every single day. There were several times towards the end of my grandmother's life because my grandmother lived in New Jersey and her sister had moved out to Florida. There were several times that they saw each other That when they saw each other and when they were leaving each other, the hugs were so extended and the cries were so long because they thought that would be the last time that they would see each other, because they didn't know if my grandmother was going to be able to get out to Florida, or if my great aunt was going to be able to get out to New Jersey. A very, very beautiful relationship.

26:27 So when I went My cousin. My cousin said, "You should know that my mother, meaning my great aunt" When you come to visit, it's like she's reconnecting to her sister. And when you come to visit, it's like you're reconnecting to your grandmother. And it was a hundred percent true. I walk in, and my aunt, my great aunt, starts to cry, and I love her very, very much. It is true. I see my grandmother in her. And it's interesting because she's herself. I don't even know what level of observance she's on right now. It could be that she is observant. My grandmother was Chayzer Betchuvat seventy years old. The whole package. She started dressing sneis. She was totally kosher. She was judgmental of all my non-religious cousins. She managed the whole nine yards. She always used to say this. My great aunt said it to me last week. She said, "I don't understand what the big deal about keeping kosher is." You just say I'm keeping kosher, and then you become accustomed to keeping kosher, and that's what Yidden do—they just keep kosher.

27:27 So I heard from that maybe my great aunt is keeping kosher. I don't know a hundred percent, and it could be that she kept some version of kosher inside of her house. Maybe she ate out. I don't even know exactly what the story is, and frankly, it doesn't really matter. But what she was saying, and this is very old school of her, and she's so proud to be Jewish. It's interesting; she has Gentile grandchildren. But not all. Most of my cousins are not observant, and many of them married Gaian. But she's so proud to be Jewish, and she was talking about how her grandmother used to daven every Friday night, and the deep connections to Chabad that my family has, and she was mamish going on and on. But she was talking about it like, and in a beautiful way. But she was talking about it like A yid has a habit of being Of being Jewish. That's what we do. And it was so funny because I didn't even necessarily think of it like that. But for old school people, that's what it was like. It was like this is what yids do.

28:19 My other grandmother. I remember when I was doing smicha So I called her up and she asked me what I was learning in yeshiva. And I told her at the time I was learning hilchos malicha when I was in smicha. This is the halachas assaulting the meat. So my grandmother said, "That's what you're learning in yeshiva. Everybody knows how to do that." I was like, "What?" She said, "You take the board, you put it at this angle, you put the meat on. This is how much salt you have to put on. This is how long it has to be on." I said, "She's going through mamish like all shochan archal ma shachtas." I said, "Grandma, where do you know this from?" She said. So I saw my mother do And she had no formal Jewish training. She never went to Beis Yakov. And she was like, of course, that's what a yid does. This was who the Eish Kodesh was speaking to. He was speaking to yidden who did tshuva in Elul because that's what yidden do. It was like salting the meat. It was like keeping kosher. It was like that's what they were obligated to do.

29:15 And there's something exceptionally beautiful about this. But the Mikatzer Gemara is saying they don't really care about you, Rav Ben Ish Shalom, and probably a lot of us think that too. I wake up and I daven, and why do I daven? Because I'm a yid. I'm really davening to get close to Rav Ben Ish Shalom. I'm being yoytzayin, saying whatever I can say. I say my brachos really quickly in the morning, so that I can chop something to eat as I'm running out and taking care of the baby and running out to my job and doing a million things. And if I can get to my job and grab fifteen minutes and say Shema Nesra. And why are we doing these things? Because we're accustomed to doing these things. But the passion that I once had, the concentration, the thought, the connecting to the Rebbeinu Shlom, where is that gone? Not doing it anymore. This is the feeling that probably lots of us have. None of this has to do with connecting to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in truth. The gamuraya mivim l'divei ketrugim, and these ketrugim, these prosecuting angels, are bringing araya about us.

30:07 We're not only listening to Hashem. We're listening to everybody. It's not only that we're listening to our yitzhahara and all of the justifications for all of the nariskeit that we do, and there's plenty of nariskeit that we do. It's not even just that we're listening to our yitzhahara. We're speaking to every Tom that can have you, to every woman in the neighborhood who's telling me this and that and this and that. I'm listening to all of these people. He says to these people in the Warsaw Ghetto, "He goes, look, we see our own children, and they're leaving the derech. This is in the Warsaw Ghetto. This is not in Ramat Shemesh. This is not in Parkdale alone." This is not a Nachadolev. This is in the Warsaw Ghetto. The children were pushing, going off the derech. And why were they going off the derech? He's like, it's not because they had these big yitzharas. It's not because they had cheshbainus. They didn't watch Sam Harris on YouTube and all of a sudden decide to go off the derech. Why they do it? Because that's what they saw their friends were doing.

31:13 It's just like today. Is that you know these kids that go off the derech? It's not because they have major cheshbainus. It's not because every one of them has psychological needs. I'm not saying that they don't. But I'm saying the answer to every kid going off the derech is not that they need therapy. You know why some kids go off the derech? Because kids go off the derech, and because they see some friends go off the derech. So they say, okay, that looks like an interesting thing to do. It's an interesting thing to try out. Mei sheilu she sarim nei peter yetsa har b'vad. And meilu ve'elu meisim came gam who saw our classes came. If Yenem is doing it, so I'm also doing it. If it becomes the standard in our community that we have these things that perhaps are not appropriate for a Jewish home, we go along with it because this is what happens in the community. Kim lavo yachoshiv uchachum because if I don't do these things, I'm not going to be considered like one of them. I'm not going to be considered wise like one of them. I'm going to be different. Who wants to be different?

32:01 I don't want to be like those old fogies. I don't want to be like those old people who are still in these Jewish ways of wearing this Jewish garb and talking like a Jew and behaving like a Jew. And today I want to meld in with everybody. I want to be like everybody else. I just again, not to say anything bad. When I was in Florida, there was a group of boys that I was with. They don't wear yarmulkes. They go to a Jewish school. They go to a yeshiva day school, and they don't wear yarmulkes. And it doesn't seem like they're too much, but on kashus, I was with them, and there was a Starbucks in the airport, and again, they were hungry, and so they all went and they got things that were not just plain coffee. I'm not talking about just the drinks. They are, and they're not bad kids at all.

32:49 I'm not that. I'm not that old. I'm not my parents walk around with yarmulkes, and I'm not that chabad shliach that's sitting and going and being the car of Klali Yisroel. I'm not that koyel guy that's sitting and learning in basic Magid Shul. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. My friends are doing this, so I'm going with them, and we're doing these things. They're saying it in front of me. I was with them. They're not embarrassed b'chol. I was happy that they said it in front of me. They're not embarrassed. They're just saying I'm not one of those. I'm not like you. I'm different. I'm new. I'm fresh. I'm not interested in doing these things. So you know what would happen if such a kid would daven, the mikatrichim would come, and they say, you know why he's davening? Because he daven's. He doesn't really care, because a minute later he's going to be ordering something not kosher. Today he goes with this kid, and tomorrow he goes with that kid, and a third day he'll go with another kid. And the truth is, maybe we're older, but we're all no different. We all do those things. We listen to this one, we listen to that one, but are we really dedicating ourselves to Hashem?

33:51 Anyone who talks to us, we listen. Are we really connecting to the Rebbeinu Shalom? But listen to the Eish Kodesh's answer, and blow an exceptionally powerful answer. And again, just remind yourself who we were speaking to. Even though we're doing tshuva, and we're davening The gullus is getting harder, and the tzaras are getting worse. Not only hundreds of years Who could remember a time that it was like this? That's what the Eish Kodesh is saying to them in the Warsaw Ghetto. Who could remember a time that it was so dark and so bad for Klal Yisro? We can't. Hundreds of years ago, they never had this. But even within the last thirty years, we can't remember it ever being so bad. It's never been this bad. This is the darkest time we've ever had in Eretz Yisrael. Maybe since Yitzhak's Mitzrayim. That's who we were giving the shmos to in the Warsaw Ghetto. And for us, it's hard. Maybe it's hard to relate to this on some level because Baruch Hashem, it's so bright now. The darkness of the Warsaw Ghetto is not. It would be hard for us to imagine what that darkness is like.

35:22 Today we mamish are living in such unbelievably messianic times with so much light and so much brightness and so much goodness and so much chesed and klal yisrael such a strong community and we're rebuilding like crazy and more taira is being learned now than perhaps ever before in history. I don't know that there's ever been a time in history that we had this much limurat taira. How many people were in the mire in Poland? How many bachrim were in the mire in Poland? There were two hundred fifty bachrim. It is ten thousand bachrim in the mire. And all over the country, we have unbelievable in all walks of life. If and again, I'm not I don't ever want to speak about anything political. Lapida is not known as the biggest lover of Orthodox Jews, and even he, in his prime minister speech, he gets up and he says, "This our land since the times of Yeshua Benon." I would think this our land since the time of Mises Bereshis, but okay, but Yeshua Benon. I'll take it. It's a victory. We'll take any victory we can get. But that, if you go back and tell them that the prime minister of Israel is going to be talking about the fact that this our land

36:24 This is our heritage, this is our Yerusha, that we could never have imagined these things, so it's hard for us to think about what it was like to be stuck behind those ghetto barbed wire walls, knowing that the Nazis were coming to clean out the Warsaw ghetto, knowing that your cousins and your parents were being shipped off to never be seen again. And he's talking to those Jews. He's saying even with all of the tshuva that we've done and even with all of the tefilas that we have, it's getting worse. It must have been a devastating feeling to be a Jew at that time, like in the silliest of ways. Today, if we don't have our tefila answered, it's like the biggest tragedy in the world. But what are we davening for? And again, I'm not saying that our tefilos are not choshev, but our tefilos are probably on a smaller scale than Rebbeinu Shlomo. Please don't allow the Nazis to commit a complete genocide. I'm not saying that our tefilos are not choshev, and for us, whatever we're davening for is an entire world.

37:21 But one can imagine how it must have felt for a yid to have been davening as he saw in the mid 30s when Hitler was coming to power, and he's saying, Rebbeinu Shlomo, I can see the writing on the wall. Please don't let this happen. And as Hitler starts to come to power, and as Hitler starts to take over, and all of a sudden these things are coming into fruition. And the yid's tefillas are—it's—not only not working, but it's getting worse, and it's—not only getting worse, but it's happening, and it's—not only happening, but it's happening to us, and it's slowly creeping towards us. Imagine the yid that a Jew must have felt. This is who the Eish Kodesh was addressing. And in our own small way, we also feel that. There are things that we're davening for, and for people that are sick that we love, and we see that it's getting worse, and the diagnosis that we don't want to happen unfortunately happened. Then the treatment is not going the way we want, and for us, that's what we're experiencing on a microcosmic level. It's just getting darker. But today it's hard to understand that because it's so bright outside. But this is what they were going through.

38:23 Nobody within the last thirty years. If you would have told them thirty years ago, this is the matzav we're going to find ourselves in, they would have said, 'I don't understand how you're surviving. It's not shayach for a person to survive under these conditions. How could it possibly be?' This is, meaning he's giving them again. The Eish Kodesh's brilliance is he's giving language to the feelings that they perhaps were not allowing themselves to express. He says, "But feel, and it's." An amazing thing that the Eish Kodesh was challenging them to feel this, and that he knew that they could Which also tells us about the state of Klal Yisrael back then. Ya Hashem lefanenu, you are in these times, and it's El, and the Rebbeinu Yisrael is in front of you, and you can feel that. Mishna geshes v'rayeshes me'aymek libenu, and you feel it, and you are crying out from the depths of your heart as called a tefilas atkius v'atshuvas. All of the davening, all of the blowing of the shofar, and all of the tshuva that you're doing is coming from the depths of your heart. As po kol mastineinu nistam, all of those terrible things that the mekatzigim are saying, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will shut them all up.

39:30 Just like in the Mashal, where the Melech said to the mekatzigim, I see now that this is only me sinas bnei. It's only from the hatred that you have for my son that you're saying these terrible things. But not Chassid Shalom because they're true. They're not true. And the way that will prove they're not true is if you'll cry out from the depths of your heart and you'll cry out to the Rebbeinu Sholom, I want to be with you. This will be the raya. This will be the simin that we do recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu's malchus. We mekabel as all malchuso Yisbarach alenu. And not only that we recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but that we're going to be mekabel on ourselves to do Hakadosh Baruch Hu's rachman in this world. We are doing teshuva, and we're not just doing teshuva because we want to get rid of the pain that we're in, because we want that person to have a refuah, because we want ourselves to have a happier marriage, because we want ourselves to have wonderful children. We are doing all of these things because we want to be close to our kol d'baruchu.

40:34 Then, in that context of a person who's doing real tshuva, all of those things that I'm asking for are not only acceptable, but as we said last time, they're praised to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's an unbelievable thing that he's calling on them to do. You have to return to Hakadosh Baruch Hu be'emes. All of the pain that you're in, it can't be the reason that you're turning to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. You have to turn to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and then if you've turned towards Hakadosh Baruch Hu, asking him to remove all of your pain is the most beautiful thing in the world. Because who else could you turn to take away all of your pain? So when you see these unbelievable women that are crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu because they're having sargi b'banim And they want their children to be good, or when they're crying out because they want to have better shalom bayis The first thing is to cry out to connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and I'm crying because I want to be with you.

41:26 And memela the personal b'koshos that we have are all beautiful, they're all part of this Service of Hashem. V'zeu shi Rosh Hashanah miyuchud becharifas atfilas, and this is the unique nature of Rosh Hashanah with all of the All of the charifas, all of the intensity of the davening, kailis atkiyas, and all the intensity of the blowing of the shayfar, v'kailis atfilas. For whom that neishem akir mesesgalus malchus yizbarch. It's because there's a recognition of the revelation of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's malchus at this time. This we need to spend a minute unpacking. R' Yehuda says in Zair that the greatest tefillah, greater than any words that you could say from a tzeder Is crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, just za'aka, like Klal Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael when we were tzayik. That's when the redemption happened. When a person is davening and they're saying the words.

42:28 It's certainly a very good level, Chas Shalom. To take away from them, but when a person cries out because they can no longer bear to be distant from the Rebbeinu Shalom, that's when things begin to change. Gedoy le tzaka mikulam, meaning of all of the tefilas, there's many different types of tefilas, but of all of the tefilas, the greatest tefila is tzaka. It's just crying out to Hashem. Tzaka is tzaka davar echadu, and he says when you see the word tzaka and you see the word tzaka, it's one thing. The krov la Kadosh Baruch Hu yosem itefila va'anacha. This is so much closer to Hashem, greater than any davening, greater than any of the tachnunim that we have to Hashem, is just simply crying out to Him. The Chasid, as it says in pasuk, 'Kiem tzach yitzach elai shamayah eshma tzach kotsa.' If you'll cry out to Me, I will hear your talk.

43:14 Vaanu aymrim. And now to bring it back to the very beginning of what we said. Vaanu aymrim kaidem tkiyashayfer min haMeitzar karasiyah. And now we can understand why. Before Tkiyah Shayfer, we say those words, "Menahemetzar from the depths, Karasikah, do I call out to you?" We're crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu from that low place From that constricted place. We're crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu because there's been a revelation of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Malchus at this time, and we're makir that, and we're be-emis connected. So we're calling out, 'Menahemetzar, Karasikah,' we're calling out to you. Meaning, I'm not calling out to get rid of my pain. I'm calling out to you. I'm connecting to you. Koylei shamata. This is what we're saying to the Rebbeinu Shem. Hear my voice. Meaning, hear that. Hear the inner truth of my voice. That all I want is to be connected to you. With all of the koyleis of the shofar, with all of our cries, with all of the screaming.

44:19 Here, Rebbeinu Shlom, that with everything that's being said, what's really being said is, I macar you, I recognize you, and I'm calling out to you. Ve'es malchus com mekablin, and I'm mekablin on myself on malchus Shamayim Lachein, and therefore we can say to the Rebbeinu Shlom, 'Al talem aznecha, do not turn a deaf ear on me.' Le'rab choshi le'shavosi, respond to me from a place of breath, respond to me from a place of harchava. And be'ezr Hashem to bring a complete yishuv. What a beautiful piece, no? Every word of this is mamish gold. Mezuzah Shem will get to Shabbos Shuvah one day.