Aish Kodesh - 1 (Rosh Hashana)

2:22 Ravuna the shav and Rav Yeshua the second b'shem of Levi. Pasar kariy they explained the pasuk. It's referring to the pasuk of Lech Echol B'Simcha Lachmecha B'Shasa B'Lev Tov Yinecha Ki Kvarata Elikim Es Masecha. The pasuk tells us that a person should go eat happily their bread. And to drink with a happy heart their wine, because our Kadosh Baruch Hu wants our masech. We know the Chazal tell us that this is the attitude that a Jew must have on Maseyom Kippur. Is a ma'ase I believe with the R' Levi Yitzchok Mibreditchef that he got up after Yom Kippur and he clapped, and he said, "The din is in, and the din is innocent." It's a very beautiful Beditchef ma'ase that a Jew has to leave Yom Kippur In a sense, with the feeling of the restoration of innocence. And that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has passed into that we're innocent, and we can go Not with a heavy heart of having just rolled around in the mud.

3:25 And having said, Hashemnu bagadnu gazalnu. There is a certain sense that a person could have when a person is reviewing the avaris that they've done. There is a sense of a heaviness that a person could carry with them chas v'shalom. And that's not a Jewish thing. I know we came up with this idea called Jewish guilt. I know we have Baruch Hashem a lot of Jewish mothers here, but Baruch Hashem you don't have to pass that trauma on to the next generation. It could just be like an old Jewish joke. Our children could be raised. In a very sweet and loving way And bezeir Hashem with nuhasagas. But the notion that a yid could sit on Yom Kippur and review everything that we've done wrong and leave not with a heavy heart, but with a feeling of innocence, which is really the insight of Yom Kippur to begin with And as the Reb is going to speak out the importance of this feeling of innocence that a Jew must have And to go into sukkas and remember that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is a loving Father.

4:22 This is the attitude that a Jew must have when he leaves Yom Kippur. So the Medrash explains in a very fascinating way that this pasuk is referring to Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur, and the Medrash gives a fascinating marshal. Marshal leMedina shahayso chayevus lipsin, the Melech. There's a marshal That there was a town, there was a place That they were mechuyev, they were obligated to pay taxes to the king. So shalach a Melech gabay Timyon. So the Melech sent his tax collector The Kavosah to collect all the taxes that were owed. Berichut yud milin yatsu gedolei hamedina the kalsu The Hitale Hamshlish. When the Melech was ten miles away, or when the Gabbai Tzadok, when the Gabbai The one that was coming to collect the taxes when he came ten miles away. So at that point they sent out the Gedolei Hamedina. They sent out the Roshay Aier to praise him and tell him what a wonderful person he is.

5:24 And immediately he knocks off a third of the price. If they owed a million dollars, he knocked off a third. Gets a little bit closer, and now it's not the gadaliyam Medina; it's the benonim. They're your average citizens. They're going out, and they're also praising this tax collector. And again, he knocks off another third. Kishakarav, and when this tax collector gets very close, the midrash says that everybody went out at that point when the tax collector was so close. Everybody went out, and they praised this tax collector, and he's Michael the entire thing. Whatever was, it was. Let it go. It's in the past, and from now on, there's a new cheshbona. Whatever was, it was. Let it go. It's in the past, and from now on, there's a new cheshbona. This is the mashal that the medrash gives. So too, when it comes to erev Rosh Hashanah It used to be we don't really have this so much anymore.

6:27 But it used to be that on Elul Again we don't really have hashagos of what Elul was. It's a funny thing. Teaching in yeshiva today. Elul has the exact opposite connotation of like the shmuzin that I heard when I was younger. When I was younger, I heard all these terrifying shmuzin about Elul. Even the fish in the sea are sifting an el. And today it's all the rebbeim and yeshivas here in Israel, we just have to get through el. Let's just get the boys through el, and once they get back, there's the sukkahs we can, I shouldn't pick it up and start. But it used to be that there was a real pachad nairah, and the gadolim would fast. That was a way. It was a way. Even by the way, even though the balshamtof came along and said that it's not so much our way to fast, we should know that even by the gadolim hasidim they used to do certain behaviors that were. Gullish types of behaviors, things that would put them in a proper frame of mind. So there was the avoda of leading up to Rosh Hashanah.

7:20 And they would fast. And because of the fasting of these tzaddikim So Hakadosh Baruch Hu would wipe out a third of our avers. And this is going to be the central pasuk that we're going to have to deal with tonight. Ki imcha aslicha means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes with forgiveness. Leman tivare, in order that we should fear him. Amravacha mei Rosh Hashanah slichum tokenes lacha. From Rosh Hashanah, slichah is set up; it's arranged for us. Slichah is in the water. Leman tivare, shteyiras ka'abriyesecha. That the fear That the fear that we're supposed to have, which is what we're going to discuss tonight. What does it mean that we're supposed to fear the Ebeister? The fear that we have is a result of the fact that our Kadosh Baruch Hu is someone who comes with slicha. That when Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes with slicha, the design of that is to create fear in us, which is not the way we would ordinarily think about it. If somebody comes with slicha, we would think that the natural response to that would be ahava.

8:26 If somebody comes and they say I forgive you Which is going to be a big yisite tonight, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes and says it's good, it's a new chesed coming So we would not naturally think that the result of that would be yerushamayim. Why is that? The Rebbe here is explaining; he's bringing from the Medrash. Really, that the nature of this world is that there should be yira in the creation. That's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires. And then we know that we have Tzim Gedalia. We fast during the Asaros and make tshuva. Hakadosh Baruch Hu again. He's Michael a slish. He's Michael a third of our theirs. Maybe not everybody fasts on Sim Gdalia. I know by the Hasidim. The women never fast. It's only Yom Kippur and Tishavah. Other than that, the women never fast, which is a big to do anyway. Everybody fasts on Yom Kippur. Everybody comes along and fasts on Yom Kippur.

9:32 So the Medrash is explaining that this period of pre-Rosh Hashanah of Aseres Yemei Tshuva and of course of Yom Kippur Is the way that Hakadosh Baruch Hu brings slichat us. So the Rebbe here starts to expound. From Rosh Hashanah, slicha is arranged. In order that we should have fear of Hashem. It's interesting to see the different ways that tzaddikim frame the creation of the world. If you look in, the Tanya, the Alter Rebbe says, brings from the Medrash in Parashas Naso that Hashem created the world to have a diru b'tachtona. That's one path. See, by the desire of Hashem. You see the idea that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to be known to his bres He wanted to be understood by his creation. Here the Rebbe is explaining that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world in order that there should be a fear of Hashem. What does it mean that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world in order that there should be a fear of Hashem? Hakadosh Baruch Hu did this so that we should have yerushtamaim. That's the tachlis habriyah: that we should have yerushtamaim.

10:56 Va'af haslichah Who shenira. And even Shneur Malufanov And even the slicha that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, even the slicha that Hakadosh Baruch Hu brings into our world It is a function of the fact that we have to have Yiras Hashem. And here we're going to get into a—it's unbelievable the psychological insight that Eish Kodesh had. He says, "kikisha eish meluchlach b'chatoym u'bishvilzam misyaser bi'yusurim kashim emorim rachmanol itzlom." When you have a Jew Who's meluchloch bechatan Every one of us, that's the condition of humanity. There's no such thing as a Jew who's not a chayte. Very few tzaddikim. If you look in Tanya, the Alter Rebbe explains that to be a tzaddik means that you never sin. To be a benuni means that you never sin. And the Alter Rebbe explains that most Yidden are what he calls rasha v'toyvloi. And Rosh Hashanah means that we sin. Some of us sin more. Some of us sin less. But the natural human condition, because of the nature of our creation, because we have a godly soul and a human soul.

12:06 And because the human soul has a tendency towards self-preservation So the natural condition is that we do things that put us in a self-preservation-oriented mode. And as a result, we engage in avarice all the time. That's the natural condition. So you have a person who's malach bchatayim. Every one of us. Who amongst us can say that we don't need to work on our shmir saloshin, that we don't need to work on our shalom bias, that we didn't denigrate our husbands chas v'shalom? These are the things that we're all working on. This is a very important line because it can be very misunderstood. The Ish Kodesh did not chas v'shalom mean that as a result of our averas Yisurim were brought upon us. You have to know this. That was not the hashkafa. There were certainly hashkafas like that in the world. That was not the hashkafa of the Eish Kodesh. The Eish Kodesh, especially, you can imagine in that time in the Holocaust in 1943 in the Warsaw Ghetto, probably would not have been so.

13:06 I just can't imagine. Have you ever seen a picture of the Eish Kodesh? It's the sweetest hadass panim in the world. It would be hard for me to imagine that he's sitting there in the Warsaw Ghetto saying, and because of your chatoim, that's why we're sitting here in the Warsaw Ghetto. It's not. It's not the way. You can look in other places. It's very clear that wasn't a zashkaf. And what R. Weinberger explained when he said over Shirim on the Esh Kodesh is that he said it means that the person is identifying. The person is identifying that the matziv that I'm in is a result of the chatoim that I've done, which is a big shift, a very important shift. Because there's a difference between playing the theodicy game, which is a very dangerous game. That this happened because this happened. You see today And Nachash Shm from being mezazel in these tzaddikim because there are big tzaddikim that say these things, but it's like a funny thing. Whenever anything happens, it's like women need to be more tsnius and men need to be learning more Torah.

13:57 And it was not the way of the Eish Kodesh and many tzaddikim. It was not the way of these tzaddikim to start saying why Hakadosh Baruch Hu did anything. But it was the way of the tzaddikim to tell us that it's our job to identify in ourselves why these things are happening to us in our life and where these things are coming from. That's not playing the game of why did the Rebbeinu Shalom do something. That's for us. And so you have this person And they're meluch luch b'chatayim And things are happening in their life, and they're identifying, and they're saying that thing that's happening is a result of the way that I behaved. You can start to see the psychology developing over here. So kasha sheyirem yirah amitus megdulaso yisbarachu mehadar gaine. It's it's it's not it's not likely it's not likely. Let me go back to using my say.

14:45 It's not likely that this person is going to have a year amitus. It's not likely that the person is going to have a year that comes from hadar ga'inei. So let's take a moment to explain here what the Rebbe means because the Rebbe means something very beautiful and very deep over here. Real year Shamayim. Is not what we grew up thinking. Here, Shamayim is. Most of us grew up thinking Yerusha mayim is like this notion This terrifying state of being before the awesomeness of kol d'baruchu. It's a funny thing. You see it in yeshivas and seminaries. I'm sure many of you asked the same question when you were younger. I know I did. What comes first, aver yeru? The question is like a famous question. What comes first, avodah or yirah? So if you went to the more Hasidically inclined rabbis, they said it was avodah, and then if you went to the Litvish rabbis, they said it was yirah, and they made you feel bad that another rabbi said that it was avodah. You've played this game before?

15:43 And then it was like, which way is true, and who am I? It becomes a question of self-identification that every person struggles with in those years, eighteen, nineteen years old. The truth of the matter is, it's a completely fundamental misunderstanding of Yerusha'aim. To ask the question in a certain way betrays a lack of understanding of what Yerusha'aim is. Yerushalmayim is the true Yerushalmayim. This is what he means over here. He says the idea of Yerushalmayim, Yerusha Hashem that's amiti, Yerusha Hashem that's authentic, that's real, the truest Yerushalmayim. It comes from a recognition of the majesty of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That's not a posture That's not a posture that brings one to a state of fear. It's like trying to think what would be an example of this. But if you ever met a famous person. Like a famous person, that person's like a famous person.

16:35 So just like a certain whoa, that's that person, right? And then if you meet a real tzaddik, if I don't know if anybody here had the opportunity to meet Rebbez and Kaniaski My daughters had the opportunity to meet Rebbez and Kaniaski. They still talk about the majesty that Rebbez and Kaniaski held herself with. Just a certain very natural dignity that she had. I know that the times that I went to see Rav Chaim, there's a certain majestic nature of Ruchaim. A person goes to a Rishonimyer in Yerushalayim. There's a certain majesty. There's a certain sadik. You see, and it's not chas v'shalom like you're trembling before them. It's much more of like the just you're blown away. That's what it is. So it's a funny thing to put that as a frame of mind of what comes first, the chicken or the egg? What comes first, Yira or Hava? It's like, what are we even talking about over here? Like, these two modalities are so synchronized, really, in their essence, right? That's why the question is In a certain sense, it's a good question, but it's it's in a certain sense, it's like What came first You respected somebody or you loved somebody.

17:42 Or you looked up to them in a relationship? All of these things are required. And for different people, different things come at different times. But this is the true year of Hashem that a person is supposed to have. This is what he means. But this person, it's so difficult. Look what he says: Kasha sheyira mei Hashem yira amitas. If a person is sitting there And they're in this state of being where they consider themselves meluchlich bchatayim, and who amongst us doesn't feel that way? We consider ourselves meluchlich. I'm mamish. I'm just dirty. I have so many avyirs inside of me. I know that these things are happening in my life because I'm not well adjusted within myself. I know there are things that are happening in my life that are also maladjusted. That's a very natural way of thinking. It's like if I was okay, things would be okay.

18:29 This is Lamaschel. In marriage. Why is marriage difficult? We all know the reason why marriage is difficult. If we would be completely in self, so then we know that the world responds to the way that we are. That things bother us because of things that are happening inside of us. So you have a person, and he sees himself or she sees herself as maluch b'chataim. And now as a result of that, things are not going well in my life. Is a person going to be in a state of mind? This is an unbelievable thing that the Eish Kodesh in 1943 was the shmuz he was giving. He's saying, 'Are you going to be in a place where you're going to have yer amitus in the Warsaw Ghetto when you know that Klal Yisrael is being wiped out by the millions, and you're looking around and you're saying this whole state of the world that's existing right now, and you know that you're totally like haphazard inside of yourself. Persons from such a psychological place, a person could.

19:21 Have a state of mind where they could have yira amitas. This is what the Esh Kodesh is telling us, and we're not that far from it. Today Baruch Hashem missiles aren't falling, but we're not that far. It's a wild thing. You would think that in that time we could understand that a person would feel that way, but even today we feel that way. Even so many of us today feel this This difficult sense Can I daven? How many people? How many people find davening difficult? Because we know, we like to confront Hakadosh Baruch Hu beEmes. We know what we think. We know who we are right now. I'm going to come to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and I'm going to talk to you. It's a boy in yeshiva. Who told me. He said, "Davening is difficult. Not because davening is difficult, right? This is like always the I don't understand the words. I don't understand what I'm saying. It's the same thing every day. This kid was honest. He goes, 'It's because of what I did last night. You want me to wake up in the morning? You want me to daven?' Rabbi, if you would know where I was last night, trust me, you wouldn't want me anywhere near the Bais Knesses.

20:18 It's just the opposite. I know where you were last night and other. That's why you need to come to Shul. But I understand where he's coming from because I feel the same way. Who amongst us is going to talk to somebody that we betrayed? It's not a comfortable thing. It's not you. You don't go to a place of safety and of love if you yourself were mezalsel in that place. And so we come and we're meluchlech bechatoim. We're identifying that all the things that are happening in the world are happening because we're not in a good place. And then we're going to come to Kolish Baruch, and we're going to have year Amitas. This is not likely. It's very difficult. This the Eish Kodesh says. Ki ikra ayira he megados Hashem Shakol nefesh Yisrael limargeshes. Here again, unbelievable the Eish Kodesh's psychological insight. He speaks now about the notion of feeling.

21:10 So just to give a Just to give a little bit of a preamble to what's coming up. To be in self To be a person who's in harmony with the world means to be a feeling person. And it turns out, the Rebbe knew this well before, we're talking about this in modern psychology, but the Rebbe understood that to be a human being means to feel And the hardest thing in the world is to feel your feelings. That's the hardest thing in the world. For sure, by the men That's an avod. I'm sure some of you have seen that. That's not like. But even by women who are more naturally emotional, you see that just because a person is emotional doesn't mean that they're feeling their feelings. Just because you cry doesn't mean you're feeling your feelings. To feel your feelings means to give language to them. There's a I learned many years ago a beautiful Beautiful idea, and I do this with some of my children.

22:07 That. Sometimes you can't give language to the feeling yet. You're not capable yet. The word addiction comes from the Russian addiction. Speech addiction is the lack of capacity to give language to something. Addiction comes to give language. A person who's involved in those behaviors is trying to express something that's going on inside of them. So sometimes with little kids, especially when they can't express what's going on, you could just ask them, "Where does it hurt?" Like, "Where does it hurt inside of you?" And you'll see they'll point to it. They'll say it hurts. It hurts here. So I do it with my five-year-old son. He was being left out by his sister and their cousins, and I said, Mikey, tell me where it hurts. He said it hurts right here. And I always said, can we just hold on to that? He's five years old. It's a very beautiful thing. Then he hurt himself in his foot, and so I said, can you tell me where it hurts? And Mo, I started laughing. Not everything is an emotion, right? Sometimes you just get kicked in the shin playing soccer.

22:59 But there's something very beautiful about being able to just sit with a feeling and to feel it and to give language to it. That's the avoda today to be able to say words like I'm lonely. To say I'm feeling abandoned or I'm feeling scared. To give language to the feeling we have is not a simple thing. Just because we're feeling something doesn't mean that we're feeling the actual emotion. To sit in it is a very important concept. It's the core of being in self, and this is really what the Rebbe means. He icher hayira he migadlus Hashem shakol nefesh Yisraeli margashas kol echad lo fi archa. The main yira comes from the Godless of Hakadosh Baruch Hu that every single Jew, each one according to our level, is capable of feeling. Yiras Hashem is not a logical construct that we have. Yiras Hashem is an emotional experience. There's a regish there. There's an emotional experience that's happening that a person has to sit with and to be able to tap into.

24:01 There are Jews that are able to be margish. There's a feeling that there's Yiras Hashem here. There's a feeling of the Rebbeinu Shalom and the kedusha, the transparency of Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world. They're terrified. They would never sin because of the godliness of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. They couldn't because they're so emotionally in touch with that Yira. It would be impossible for them to come to a place of sin. It's not where they're holding. V'yesh ish, and this is much more for us. V'yesh ish be kirba margish yiras onish. And for most of us, what does yiras sham mean? Yiras sham means yiras onish Which is a very childish thing. It's like no, no, it's beautiful. It's dafka beautiful. It's a wonderful music to play along in the background of the shiur. Today, with all of the everything that goes on, like meaningful minutes or kolot or kula, they have background music.

25:04 This is a much more wonderful background music. YouTube is. We have a chorus. So there are yidden that the yiras Hashem means yiras onish. Yiras onish is a level, but it's a very childish level. Imagine if our husbands Didn't tell us something because they were afraid of our reaction. Which is most of the time Right? Like, I talk to the guys. You can't share this with her. You don't understand. I don't understand what the reaction is going to be. It's a yerasainish type of thing. Here is a person who I love deeply, who I've dedicated my life to. I can't be honest with you. Why can't I be honest with you? Yerasainish. I am afraid of the consequences of my actions. It's like every ADHD kid who doesn't know that their actions have consequences. I don't want to tell the person that I love. Yerasainish. It's a level. It's a level, but it's not a high level.

25:59 This is a wild line. This is what we could spend the next ten years just on this line. It's a wild line. He's saying that this person who's involved in Yiras Aynesh, this person. He says it's definitely an aspect of Yir Megalus Hashem. And the soul is experiencing something. But what is the soul experiencing? It's a self-centered, narcissistic worldview. I don't want to be hurt. It's not that I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be hurt. That's really right. If our husbands won't tell us something that they did, what are they really saying? I don't want the consequences of the way you're going to feel about the way I behaved. It's the word narcissism is thrown around too much, but there's a certain self-centered Arrogant posture there that it's about you. It's not about you.

26:58 There's something that happened there, but there are people that, because of their impoverished mentality, because they don't have enough in the tank, the way that they show up to their relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, the way that they show up to their relationship with their spouses, the way that they show up to their relationship with their children, is a yiras haonesh type of posture. The difficult feelings that are going to have to come up because of the way that you are going to feel—it's a very codependent type of language. This is what—and it's unbelievable that the Rebbe expressed this so clearly back then, when most people in the world did not have this language. This language is Fifteen, twenty years old, maximum, probably even closer than that. But here, the Rebbe said it, Mamish, in a very straight way. He said, 'What are they really? The chen is yiras nafsho.' They're yira of Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes from a yira of what's going to happen to me.

27:43 That's where they're really holding. I don't want to suffer the consequences of this thing. So me mele I'll serve Eichon. I'm not going to sin. This person is not going to sin. Why is he not going to sin? I don't want to be punished. But it's not coming from a loving relationship. And by the way, we can tell the difference. With the people that we love We can tell the difference when somebody does something because they want to be in a relationship, they want to participate in a relationship, versus when they don't want the negative consequences of what you're going to say to them when they don't do the thing that you want them to do. It's a completely different posture. Even though the activity could be the same exact activity, and on the outside you won't be able to tell. But on the inside And that's why it's so frustrating for men that women say things to their husbands like, "I feel like you're not here," because no man has ever understood what those words mean.

28:29 Doesn't mean that you first of all, my being here has nothing to do with your feeling. It's not subject. Not everything is subject to your feeling. What's really being said is, "I know you're here and you're doing the thing I want you to do, but you're not here." It's the there's a yiras aonesh type of posture. That's the beautiful story with Rav Orlov. Rav Orlov from Yerushalayim. Orlov is one of the big mashgichim in Yerushalayim. He's a tremendous bikaach in the world of psychology. Rav Orlov gave a shir once, and he said What do you do as giving shir a man? He goes, What do you do if your wife asks you to go shopping for drapes? I embellish it like on a Sunday afternoon when the guy wants to watch football. What do you do when your wife asks you that question? He said, "You're stuck." If you say no, she's going to be very unhappy. If you say yes, it's going to be much worse because when you go shopping for drapes and she says to you, "Which one do you like? Do you like the egg white or the off white?" So whatever you want, and then you say, "I feel like you're not here."

29:29 So what are you really saying? You're really saying, 'Be with me choosing drapes.' And what's the guy saying? I don't want to be here choosing drapes. This isn't my thing. So Orlovich's line, which was a beautiful line, is: Shopping for drapes may not be important to you, but it's important to her. If it's important to her, it has to be important to you. That was the shmooz he gave that day in Yerushalayim. What Ravorloik didn't know Is that there was a Hollywood screenwriter in the audience during that shmooz. This is a hundred percent a true story, and I'll tell you how I confirmed it. There was a Hollywood screenwriter in the audience, and he said, "What an amazing shmooz! If it's important to her, it's important to me." And he went ahead and he wrote a screenplay based on that shear. And that screenplay became Shrek Two. Shrek Two is based off of a shir that Ruvorlov gave in Yerushalayim. In Shrek Two, it was a question of he wanted to be an ogre, she wanted to be a princess. But if it's important to her that I be a prince, then I'll be a prince. But if it was important to him that I be an ogre, then I'll be an ogre. The whole show, that whole movie, was based on a shir from Ruvorlov.

30:32 So I spoke once in L.A. And I said over this maysa, there was a kid in the audience. He came over with a bunch of chavri after the shir, and he says, 'Rebbe, you know that's a true story.' I said, "Yeah, no, I heard it's a true story." He said, "No, it's a true story." I asked, "How do you know?" He said, "That's my dad. His father was the guy who wrote Shrek too. It was written by an Orthodox Jew, who heard this shir in Yerushalayim from Rvurloch. But this is the idea: Do we want to be with Hakadosh Baruch Hu not sinning because I want to participate in the relationship, or beetsim really I want to be doing something else But I don't want to have to deal with you. So I'll go to daven. So I'll go learn a little bit. Is that where we're holding? And the Hichodish is pushing the envelope here, and he's saying, and if you have a posture of that impoverished mentality of I don't want to deal with the negative consequences of my actions, which is certainly a level, but it's a level that comes from a narcissistic worldview. It's from a place of I don't have enough to be able to deal with what's coming my way, because if I had enough to be able to deal with it, I would be okay with the consequences.

31:35 If this is the way that I authentically believe that I should be showing up to this relationship, and you're unhappy with that, and I'm enough for myself, then that's okay. The fact that I'm coming and I'm saying, 'Fine, I'll participate in the relationship, but just don't bother me' It's coming from a place of self-protection. It's coming from a place of, "I don't really have enough in the tank," so I'm really looking out for myself. It looks like I'm looking out for somebody else, but really, I'm looking out for myself. This is an unbelievable line. The zehu rak b'sha nafshu shali. He's now returning to the person who has real yirushalayim. He says, the zehu rak b'sha nafshu shali isha yisraeli omed es kayem es. When can a person have this real yirushalayim? When can a person have the yirushalayim that comes from hadar ga'ineh? When can a person have the yirushalayim that comes from this place of just being in awe of the majesty of Hakadosh Baruch Hu? That only comes from a place when we are standing. It comes from a place of safety. That comes from a deep place of self.

32:33 As yecholah lahargish. That's the key word here. In that place, when a person is standing on their own two feet, firmly planted in their own soil, so then a person is able to feel as kivasalakim, asheilel liyiras yirasu yisparach. In such a state, I can come to a true yiras when I'm in self, when I'm okay, when things in the world are okay. Maseh ein kinkishim luchlach bechatayt, maseh luchlach ish bechatayim u'meduch b'yisurim. When a person is being crushed, you can imagine again. You have to. You have these words must be understood in historical context. It was the Warsaw ghetto. They were being crushed by Yussuf. That's what they were. The Nazis were everywhere. They didn't know what was going to be, and they didn't hear from their relatives. They knew bad things were happening. And it wasn't going to be that long before they themselves were wiped out. And here the Rebbe is looking at them, and he's going, right now the situation that you're in is beyond human comprehension. You're struggling terribly. You meduha by yisurim, and you're identifying that you are being crushed by these yisurim because of the chatoim that you've done.

33:38 In such a state, at shakula rovitz v'nayfel, everything is crumbling. And here's the huge words: sheaf es atzme v'nash shei eno magish. In such a place, what does a person become? Totally numb. They can't feel themselves. Again, the psychological insight here is unbelievable. That in such a place, when a person, when the bombs are falling all around you, there's no time to be able to process the trauma that's occurring. There's no time to give language. There's no time to sit in that feeling and to allow it to come up. It's not bechulal on. It's not on the table. Like I don't have the head space for such a thing. A chaver of mine who was unfortunately in a terrible marriage And in an interesting way, he didn't even know how terrible the marriage that he was. He knew that his wife was cheating, but he didn't realize Like with how many people it was. It was a terrible matzav.

34:29 I was very young. And whatever. Unfortunately, I was privy to certain information. It was a terrible matter. The guy went to his rabbi, and the rabbi is a very big tzaddik. He said, "This rabbi, I can't put on tefillin. I can't daven." So his rabbi said to him, 'You're putter from davening.' You're absolutely putter from davening. You're putter from putting on tefillin. So the guy got very upset. He goes, "Rabbi, what do you mean I'm putter from davening? You mean I'm putter from? I'm not putter from davening. Don't tell me I'm putter from davening." Very upset at his rabbi. And he said to him, If you were in Auschwitz, do you think you'd have the headspace to put on tefillin and to daven? So his rebbe, I'm not in Auschwitz. I'm in a bad marriage. And his rebbe was insistent and he was pushing him again. His rebbe is a very, very special person, and his rebbe was telling him, no, you don't realize you are in Auschwitz. The masses that you are in right now, you have no headspace to be. There's no capacity for you to be in such a place. You're put there from tefillin.

35:26 And he wasn't giving him the Rebbe was not giving him a chesed shavart. The Rebbe was telling him to recognize the place that you're in, and accept that this is what is at this moment right now. You're not in the place where you're feeling or processing anything. Your life is falling apart. Your kids are falling apart. Your mamish don't know what's up and what's down. You think the abisher in such a state is like saying new. How come you didn't dive in a fifteen minute shmonas? And the guy was arguing with him. He's and I was privy to both sides of the conversation. And the guy was arguing. He's like, 'Rebbe, now more than ever, I need to be davening.' And the Rebbe goes, 'Maybe that's true, but right now you're not in a place to sit and to daven and to open yourself up to all of those feelings.' I don't know that he ever would have come out from that. He was numb because that was the state that he was in. He couldn't process any feelings. And this mamish. This what everything roivitz v'nayifel. Everything around you is crumbling.

36:17 And you can't feel yourself as kasha so yisra'gei. Be yiras Hashem v'yafachim ayadagana. So in such a state. When everything is crumbling around you and you feel maluch lech bchatan, you feel totally unworthy. So it's going to be exceptionally difficult. This must have been an unbelievable rachoshanah shloosh for these yidden to be hearing in the Warsaw ghetto. He's saying to them, for you in such a state right now, it's so difficult for you to experience the true Yerusha Hashem that comes from just sitting in the splendor and the glory of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's like an impossible thing to think about. This must have gotten right to the core of what so many of them were feeling. That they saw loved ones being carted off and that they didn't know what was going on. Did they have the language to process it? Especially now, what we know with intergenerational trauma. I had a job as a therapist in Yerushalayim.

37:04 You can't get in to see him now. He's got a nine month waiting list. He's an unbelievable therapist. He wrote his master's thesis. He charges six hundred shekel an hour. He's unbelievable. I knew him when he was younger and only charging two hundred fifty shekel an hour. So I've seen him. Baruch Hashem, you know he's got a lot of he's got a lot of work. He wrote his master's thesis on the intergenerational trauma of the Holocaust. And how even today He's able to see in the community so much that comes from that impoverished mentality from the Holocaust. Because we have to give it language. It's going to take generations to give that language. It's since Yisios Mitzrayim, there's never been a tragedy like that to call it so. We're still giving a language, and so many of the things that are happening in our community. We're still trying to feel these feelings that our grandparents couldn't feel, and even if you didn't have grandparents that were in the Holocaust, you should. A Sparty kid once said to me, 'I feel guilty that I didn't have grandparents in the Holocaust.' I said, 'Don't worry, your grandparents suffered terribly too. It wasn't so pashut for them, right?' But like there's a sense, especially today, even Holocaust education is Baruch Hashem undergoing a lot of changes

38:09 Changes that the Lubavitcher Rebbe Ze'ichet Zalokov Rachel was already saying needed to happen many years ago. The Rebbe was very against the way they were teaching Holocaust education in the 70s and the 80s. We didn't know how right he was until much later, because psychology hadn't taught us yet that if you grew up again, like I did. I'm a little bit older than some of you. I grew up with stories like We have to have children to repopulate from the six million. We have to learn Torah because the six million were murdered. It was born. From a very Yiddishkeit was born from a deeply traumatic place, which is a terrible, terrible thing. Again, the rabbis didn't know it at the time; they were doing their best, and they were wonderful people. And there were certain people. I had a seventh grade rabbi whose name was Mordechai Finkelman. Have you ever heard of Mordechai Finkelman? He's a tzaddik, tzaddik, tzaddik. He's a tzaddik in New York. He's an unbelievably special person. So he taught dafka very differently. I remember the shuluzin.

39:02 I remember the shuluzin. We have to do this because of the six million. It wasn't because of the Aivshter. Or because of the beauty of this relationship, it was because you're going to be persecuted. And it was the Even today. There's a lot to unpack of what's happening in America today. But so much of the way that we're speaking about America today comes from our experience in the Holocaust. We're deeply traumatized. They had no capacity to feel themselves. So we have to feel those feelings until they're felt out of existence. There's a boy in yeshiva whose father and mother are both therapists. Both of his parents are amazing therapists. He told me just now. He told me About two weeks ago. I know in myself that I have the capacity to become a raging alcoholic. That was the shprach. It happens to be that I know his parents very well. I knew them from high school.

39:58 He said, Baruch Hashem, my father did so much of the work on himself. To give language to the trauma of our family, so that I don't have to carry so much of the load. So I said to them first of all, you can tell that your parents are therapists. There was no way an eighteen year old kid would speak that. Most eighteen year old kids come in and go, Rabbi, I'm upset and I don't know why. Like this, your parents and his parents happen to be amazing people, but it's such a special thing that he knew that it's going to take time for me to work out. I knew his father when he was a kid, I knew his grandmother. It was going to take time for things to get worked out, and his father happens to be his father. He did a tremendous amount of work on himself. And we have to give this language. We have to get to this place where we're expressing this year as Hashem that they were not able to express this level of hadarke. I myself am not even sure today.

40:52 I don't know how many of you are new in Eretz Yisrael. How many have been here for a while? I've been here for a while. Some of you are new. Some of you have been around. The whole of Eishamir is known. We'll just say everyone's name. I was thinking about this eight years ago. Eight years ago there was a big war here. Anyone here eight years ago? Seminary. You were in seminary eight years ago. Eight years ago, my wife was pregnant with our daughter Miriam. And my father, when he was coming to the hospital, my parents live here, Bracha Shem. My entire family made Aliyah. My father, when he was coming to the hospital when the baby was just born, had to pull off on the side of the road. On his way to Dassan Karem, a siren went off, which meant that a rocket was coming.

41:40 He had to get out of the car and go lie down on the road, and that was a thing on the way to the hospital to lie down on the road. That summer My children were in the park. They were in a camp. And they went to the park, and a siren went off, and they went under a picnic table. And I remember thinking to myself Would a picnic table help? It's like a rocket, right? I don't understand. At that point I guess maybe some schafmil could be stopped by it. But then I started thinking What is it like for our children to know that people are abducted, that people could be abducted by an Arab? What is it like to know that terrorism could happen at any moment? Again, we're not. Baruch Hashem, in the days of the Intifada, when they were blowing up buses. But there is a certain trauma that exists in the water here. There is a way that our children are going to grow up with.

42:27 I don't know if they'll be able to give it language. On some level, we're still experiencing this level of trauma. We're in a place like that's what it means, Geula, right? Geula means a state of safety where we could actually be. When is the last time that Klal Yisrael experienced anything like that? It's not any better in America. The rise of anti-Semitism. These kids are also growing up with this. They don't know what. You could walk down the street in Brooklyn and you'd be fine. And today you almost don't know, and it's all over social media. A video I saw showed some guy attacking a Jew. And there was a chassidish guy who was a truck driver And he got out. He was like a big heavy truck driver, he don't talk like suspenders guy who was like wearing suspenders while he's driving a truck. It's a very special type of yid that like looks like that. He drinks richards cold seltzer like that. That guy he has a lot of gala. He's very happy. And he managed to ran across the street. It looked like it was on somewhere in Flatbush, and he ran across the street and he just threw this guy out of the way. I was thinking that's a crazy thing that our kids are growing up Seeing these videos of guyim attacking yidden in the streets of New York.

43:32 That wasn't like that when I was growing up. One of the guyim who stole my bicycle, that was like today yidden are managed being attacked. Do we have the capacity to get to a state of safety and to experience regular life without trauma? Do we have that capacity to get to this place where we can experience hadar ga'ona? And kavuchaymer when it comes to our children, beis rachamal children will be raised like kedusha v'tahar here in Eretz Yisrael, but more realistically, they will also have their challenges. Even though baruch Hashem we're here in Eretz Yisrael, there's no doubt that they will have their challenges, and that they'll be exposed to things and they'll see things and they'll do things and they'll test the water, probably just like all of us did. And they'll also feel meluchch bchatayim. And will they be able to get to a place of yerush Hashem of hadar ga'ine? Will they be able to appreciate the awe and the splendor and the majesty of Hakadosh Baruch Hu from such a place? And that, and the Ish Kodesh is telling us that's a very difficult thing to do.

44:27 We do one more parak. We do a little bit more. One more. The zesh omer al pasuk. This is a fast one And this is what the pasuk means: ki imcha haslichah lamanti vare. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes with slicha in order that we should have yerush Shamayim. So what happens? Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes. And he wants us to have Yerushalayim. He wants the Brit to have Yerushalayim. And in this time of Asar Esimet Teshuva Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur, in this time, it's Dirshu Hashem beMatzoh. I call the Shabbatul's presence is felt And therefore, since I call the Shabbatul's presence is felt, there arouses in every single Jew a feeling. There's a revelation. I call the Shabbatul is coming, and there's a Yira that's awakened inside of us. Every single person, in their own way, but it's certainly happening. Vilama nimsu mizgalahata, and why do we have this feeling when it comes to Achsarsim Echuve and Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur? When it comes to Yom Kippur, why do we have this feeling?

45:49 So he says an unbelievable thing. Because this is the nature of creation. The nature of creation is that we were created, and the world was born in order that we should reveal Hakadosh Baruch Hu's malchus in this world, and that comes through Yerusha Hashem. V'zeo apshat bemed rishana. Shal hatanisim shal erev rishana. Rishana v'yayimakipurim oimer. Moshe shiatsav neyam edine v'kasu. Eze kilos haye. Eze kilos hayim hatanisim. Saying what praise is this that these tzaddikim were fasting erev rishashana, and that more people were fasting than erev satsimaytshuva, and that everybody fasted on yom kippur. Why is this a praise? Why is this a praise to the tax collector to akolus baruch so to speak? He says he has a lot now. Aside from all of the wonderful praise and the songs that we're singing these days All of the tears that we're crying, all of the tefillos that we're davening All of the supplications that we have are all a praise. Why are they a praise?

47:02 Because it's a revelation to us. Because we are experiencing, it's a regesh, it's a feeling In this state where we're crying out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and in this state where we're fasting, and in this state where we're being mespala, and we're doing all of these things, it's a revelation to us that we do feel it. That we do feel And that's so missing from our life the rest of the year, right? The rest of the year we're coming from a place of yerusha einish, the rest of the place. The rest of the year, we're coming from an impoverished mentality that I'm not enough, so I don't have the headspace to be able to say that this is a safe place for me to sit and think about the splendor and the majesty of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. But when it comes time of Yomim Noraim, a person is in a different headspace because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is present. And when Hakadosh Baruch Hu is present, it awakens something in us. And when it awakens it in us, there's a feeling that we have that I'm back

47:58 That I'm in a place now where I can just appreciate the majesty of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and I'm not coming from this place of I'm a terrible Jew, and I'm not coming from this place of all the averes that I did, and the thoughts that if you only knew that I was having, Rebbe. We're not coming from that place at all. We're experiencing the revelation of Hakadosh Baruch Hu umefached asachata, and from such a place is a pachad on our chatoim, not because we're afraid of Yiras Ayinish, but because how could I have ever done that in the relationship Which is a completely different headspace. I'm not afraid to feel the feelings. I'm not afraid to confront, and I'm not afraid to say this is what I've done. I'm willing to accept any consequences because I need to be honest in this relationship. Then where am I ever going to be able to be? That's the hardest thing.

48:47 The hardest thing is for us to act like a kadosh baruch hu in our own lives. That's what we're called on to be. To that our spouses and that our children and that our neighbors should be able to feel that with us they could be who they are, with all of the spirituality of their imperfections, and to give them the space to be able to say it's okay to be you. That's a tremendous gift that we give to another. We're not supposed to have to parent our spouses. It's not the way it's supposed to be. But the reality is that we all have to lean into the discomfort of the work of being a space for each other, and we all grew up with. On some level, difficult challenges and challenging backgrounds that we all have. Things growing up, we all have our scars, but to be able to say it's okay for you to tell me the things that you've done and the way that you behaved, because I'm not here. I'm coming from a forgiving posture.

49:42 And there's a revelation that you're going to experience when you come to me. I'm a person of forgiveness, and the gift I'm giving you is that you can be. And the irony is that when a person can be, then they can actually change. But until they can be, they're living in a yirasai nish posture. If you won't allow me to be, then I'm terrified of what you're going to do to me. So on the one hand, it's up to each individual person to say, "I'm enough for myself." But on the other hand, it's up to each one of us to also create the space for everybody else to be able to say "Ki imchaslicham," a person that's coming with a forgiving posture.

50:17 And so there's able to be just a recognition of the relationship that exists, and if that's shown in our personal lives, then it's also true of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. It's true we have to have a posture that when we're coming to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, even though we're not necessarily in a se'ir simet shuvah, but we're after the period of shavuos, and we're certainly starting off into the summer, which is a period where we are meduka bi yusurim, where we're going to be experiencing the turmoil of the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. So it's incumbent upon us not to slip into that mentality. Of I'm not enough for myself, and I have to be terrified of what's going to be Because I can't handle whatever punishments are coming my way. Rather, we should have the posture of the aseret simot shuvah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is coming. He's close to us, and he's coming from a posture of ki imchas lich. And if we know that we're forgivable, if we can attain the feeling of innocence, then BeEzer Hashem Yisbarach will be able to have the real pachad of I don't want to do a chayt because I would never want to hurt this relationship. We'll stop here for tonight.