There Is Nothing More Whole Than A Broken Heart - Part 2

2:26 So far so good. Was that a good summary, Sam? Yeah. Yuda. Ethan. The magician pushes muscle. Says Nesave Hakadosh Baruch Hu Leo Slo Yis Barach Dira B'Tachtoni Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires to have a dwelling place in the world down below. Tell me, Rav Olsei If after six thousand years of creation. Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes down into this world. Is this world still Tachtonim or does it become Melionim? It must be. Very good. It must be that this world is still Tachtonim. Why? Let's make sure we understand that. I'll get to your question. Otherwise, what's the point? In other words. Hashem desires to have a dwelling place in the world down below means God has a desire to make our world a spiritual place.

3:59 Hakadosh Baruch Hu already has a spiritual place. What does He desire? He desires that His presence should be manifest in a physical place. That's a fundamentally different idea. So it must be. That tachtonim in some miraculous way Perhaps a way we can't understand It must be that tachtonim Even after six thousand years of creation, even when Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence is clear and manifest It must be that tachtonim remains tachtonim, and yet somehow it's merged with elyonim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence above his spiritual presence. Somehow is revealed in this world, and yet the world stays a world. It stays taqtoneh. You had a question. So elyonim would refer to elyonim literally means upper. Taqtoneh means lower. In this case, it would mean the upper spiritual worlds and the lower physical world. Our world is a physical world that seems to be devoid of Hashem's presence.

5:10 Hashem desires that His presence be manifest down in this world. But if His presence is manifest in this world, it means that our world is no longer our world. Then was Hashem successful, so to speak? It has to be that it's His world, and it remains distant, so to speak, from Him in a certain sense. It's a very complicated thing. Let me give you a muscle of this. This is a hard muscle, but a very important muscle. In marriage, there's something called codependency. Have you heard of this terminology, codependency? It's not fair. You know most English words. The codependency means that I am dependent on you now. What does that mean? That doesn't sound like a bad thing. That's like sounds like a healthy marriage. I'm dependent on you. Code dependency means I can't handle. For example, I'm not okay if you are not okay.

6:21 That's an unhealthy thing in a marriage. It's okay for one spouse to be not okay And the other says, "I'm with you. I'm here to support you," but I'm okay. There are some people, for example, that lose themselves. Let's say their wife starts to get very upset, and then they become anxious that their wife is upset. So they've lost themselves. Part of the godless of marriage is I am And you are you And yet somehow these two independent things remain independent, and yet are merged. You hear the word? Very is a very important idea. I am And your wife is your wife. You are you. Your wife is your wife. You're two independent things. You remain independent even in marriage. So you're okay, even if she's not okay. And yet, somehow, what happens in marriage? These two opposite things. What happens? They're rabosei. They become one.

7:26 Do you see how that's an exact parallel? Hashem has the upper worlds, the spiritual world, and we are the lower physical world. Rabbeinu say if we lose ourselves to Hashem and we're no longer the lower physical world Then there is no true unity in the marriage. There is no true intimacy in the marriage because I, who is Hashem, married to, so to speak. Put it a little bit differently. I want to make sure you guys are getting the same. It's a hard concept. If I lose myself to my wife, then who's my wife married to? Herself. That's not being in a relationship with another. There always has to be another. But the others, it's us. What was that? I am saying, Hashem is not like marriage. So in many ways, our relationship with Hashem is exactly parallel to a marriage. We need to be, in a certain sense, separate and distinct from Hashem. We have a physical body. We have physical desires.

8:28 We have to overcome, perhaps, or engage those physical desires. Might be a better word, right? But we are other than Hashem, not from Hashem's perspective, from our perspective. So Hashem wants us to be other than Him. He doesn't want to be so present in the relationship that His being overtakes ours, because then who's He in a relationship with? Aton. So then, at that point, what more can we do? Because if you think about it At which point? At the point in which we continue to bring ourselves closer to Hashem We are human beings, and we cannot be brought to the level of Godliness. One second, slow down. We will, we should not, and we are not designed to lose ourselves to Him. But we absolutely can behave godly in this physical world, and when we behave godly in this physical world, in a certain sense, that's exactly what we're doing. We're bringing the upper spiritual worlds down into our physical world. It remains physical, right? But as we bring that presence down into our world, Hashem has a dwelling place where He can feel comfortable.

9:48 And just as in marriage, there is a give and take, so we can act in a godly manner without succumbing to him, and God can be present in our lives. But when you say without succumbing, I just want to know what you mean. Because succumbing is not necessarily the right word. We want to be totally egoless in the sense that I've given myself completely to Hashem. I've surrendered myself completely to Hashem. Surrendering yourself to someone else doesn't mean that you lose yourself. In many ways, it means that you find yourself, but you still remain yourself. You still retain your identity. I'm saying it in the sense that, just as in the codependent relationship, we have our own self. In the codependent relationship, you lose yourself. You understand? Codependency is a bad thing. In codependency, you lose yourself. In a healthy relationship, I am I, completely surrendered to you.

10:52 Okay. But that we have our own self. But is that right? But is that own self? Here's what's important. I can be I, and completely align my will with the will of Hashem. So I have not lost. People think I want to be myself. So therefore, I won't align my will with Hashem. Because I'm staying myself. That's also not a good thing in marriage. To be in a marriage means to be completely dedicated exclusively to the other. So my life has to be completely dedicated to Hashem. It's not always perfect, but it's far from perfect. And that is an expression of self. At the end of days, Hashem somehow. We don't understand this because it's beyond human comprehension. The elyonim, the spiritual world, will merge with tachtonim, but we will not lose tachtonim. So at that point, which is a thing we are not capable of understanding What are we supposed to do to bring that closer without losing ourselves?

12:03 Meaning, at the end of days Or right now? At the end of days, I can't answer you. I have no idea what that would look like. But right now, for example, every time we do a mitzvah, we are transforming our world into a place where Hashem's presence is welcome and comfortable. It is not already. He created it. Because right now this world does not. This world lives in this physical state where we can see things and say, "Oh, that's other than Hashem." If Hashem were to be comfortable in our world, it would mean, as we're going to get to soon, that He's invited into every aspect of our lives, and we have not invited Hashem into every aspect of our lives. Even in the same way, I said in our first semesters here, Hashem can or cannot create a rock that. It's different. There is one thing that Hashem can't do, and it's a function of His perfection. And then after this, we need to stop the chavruta.

12:58 But there is one thing Hashem can't do. He can't choose Himself. You could love somebody, but the only thing you can't do is make them love you back. Because if you forced them to love you back, that's not love. So he has to give us the opportunity. He gives us the sense of otherness so that we can choose him. Which would make it a function of his personality because he's giving us that ability. Yeah. Exactly. Right. Yeah. I don't understand why the importance of the base. Hashem put a spiritual part of the physical world, and now we have this kind of marriage. Not yet. We're trying to. The base hamikdash was one expression of what the entire world could look like. But through the base hamikdash We had this marriage with Hashem. We had some of it But it's not enough. That the Beis Hamikdash was able to be a place where El Yonim and Tachton emerged is impressive.

14:09 But it's not enough Beis Hamikdash. The entire world, meaning even in some crazy place. Chile. What word did you just say? Koryaki. The south of Chile. South of Chile. Koryaki. Koryaki. Koryaki. So yes. Even in the south of Chile, even in Corriente, we need to find Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence. All throughout history, Jews have traveled all throughout the world. And even if we haven't traveled to those exact places, we could talk at a different time about how we have a spiritual impact on places that we've never been. Even in Corriente, Hakadosh Baruch Hu needs to be comfortable. It's not enough for him to be comfortable in the Beis Hamikdash. Hey. You're talking about like Hashem, like in with human, like human emotion, like being comfortable. It's such an important point that you're bringing up. Such an important point that you're bringing up. Does Hashem have human emotions? What would you say, Rebbele?

15:12 No. If you're talking about emotions Right? So, so when we speak about Hashem being comfortable. We don't mean Hashem is comfortable like a human being is comfortable like I'm comfortable in a chair. We're speaking about it in the sense of authentic comfort. What does that look like? For example Let's get started. What does comfort look like? This is actually the point of this shir. It's a good part of it. So let's explain what that means. Let's go back to the marriage, Moshe. You following so far? Good. You're a smart guy. You getting these ideas? Simcha, I'm checking in. How are we doing today? Good. Following. Good. Three things. Three things are necessary towards saying to someone you are authentically part of my life, and this is a place where you can feel comfortable. The first thing is Do you perform the acts that are important to another person?

16:24 The mitzvos. Every marriage contains a mitzva, right? What's a good example of that, Rebbele? Not, I don't mean a Torah marriage. I'm saying what would your wife want you to do? Doing that would be a mitzva. Taking out the garbage is a good example. It you understand, I don't mean mitzvah that Hashem gave a mitzvah. I mean a mitzvah between a husband and a wife I was just confused because I wouldn't think to use the word mitzvah. If what we should, because what a mitzvah really is an opportunity to connect to another. Mitzvah comes from the lashon of tzavtza, which means glue. Would you get a mitzvah for that Like in, like? Has I'm not again. I'm not speaking right now relative to Hashem. Is that one of the six hundred and thirteen mitzvot? I wouldn't go on. I'm not sure. I believe in those scales, but the way I believe in the way Mishnah Pirkei Avos said it, but not the way I grew up.

17:25 Because then I just need a horse from some story from the Balshemtof that one time I saved, and then the horse jumps on the scale, and then the scale tips the opposite way. So I don't think you're like getting scarred like that. A mitzvah. What a mitzvah really is, when you unpack it, is an opportunity. Hashem says, "This is what it looks like to be in a relationship with me. I want you to do these things for me." If my wife says to me, "Mordechai, please take out the garbage" In our relationship, that's a mitzvah. What if I said to my wife, "No" That would be an avirah, so to speak. But what does an avirah mean? Say, speak it out. Meaning, if she's told me this is these are the rules of engagement of what it looks like to be in a relationship with me "Nah, not in the mood, " right?

18:18 That's a lost opportunity. That's I've missed the mark in the relationship You don't stay the same. I'm just saying, there, But I'm saying, I've the point is, I've missed the mark in the relationship. So would my wife feel comfortable in the relationship if I said I don't know. There's some things I some mitzvot I get. Some of them I like. I'm down on certain things. We should have a date night. I can understand that. I'm not gonna do the schmoozing thing every night. I don't want to sit and listen to your stories of your day. I'm just not. I'm telling you, don't. It's just not interesting to me. It's not relevant to me. That's a hard one to hear. Why is that hard to hear, Shmuel? You saying I care at all? Yeah. But don't people say that all the time? Why is this Gemara relevant to me? You ever hear that?

19:13 You ever think that? Because you can't see. Of course, what was that? When you say that, you can't see that you're hurting Hashem. But of course you are. Because halacha is the will and wisdom of Hashem. So he says this is what's important to me. You could wonder why those are even good questions. But it's not the first question. If my wife says take out the garbage, and I go, 'Why?' Something has clearly gone wrong in our marriage. Probably a lot has happened before that. Nassev Nishma is exactly what it's meant to be. If my wife says take out the garbage, my first answer is yes. My second question is, help me understand what is important to you in our relationship about my taking out the garbage. As opposed to one of the kids. That's what a mitzvah is. So would my wife feel comfortable in a relationship if she said to me, 'These are the things. These are the rules of engagement,' and I said, 'No' She wouldn't. So that's the first level of what comfortable means. Hashem says, 'Do these mitzvos.'

20:19 Wake up in the morning. Daven. Daven in the afternoon. Daven at night. Learn Torah every day. Give tzedakah. Do chesed. Keep kosher. These are mitzvos. You understand? Are we doing these things, these koko mitzvos, out of a place of love, or are we doing them to create a sense of? Really—the love is already there. The godly soul already feels all the love that it needs. Doing the mitzvot is an expression of that love. I guess bringing it to reality, actualizing. And that is, in a certain sense What we brought down here. Exactly right. There was there when we're already. Exactly right. Exactly right. What's the other? Do you ever touch on them everywhere? What about in the bathroom? We're gonna get there. Then there are the second level of what it means to be deeply connected to our spouse. Ready? You got this. Goes like this.

21:16 Inevitably, Yehuda, you're going to get married? Fifty-fifty shot. God willing. God willing. You have someone special. She's out there. You have a lot of faith. I like that. Giving you a hard time. Of course you're gonna get married. Of course you're gonna have a million girls chasing after you. Especially after they listen to this recording. You're gonna hear your brilliant answers. They're gonna come running. I'm not dropping the last name. I made that mistake on a recording many years ago. There's some Yehuda out there who's an amazing guy. Girls, you'll have to wonder. Yehuda, you're gonna get married. You're gonna love your wife. You're gonna make mistakes. Why? It's human. It's human to not always do the right thing. So let's say, for example, your wife says, "It's important to me that you come home at ten o'clock." Chat with the boys in the base medrus Drinking beers Learning ruchayim's. You're like a classic yeshiva guy. You don't want to come home.

22:29 I'm talking about sitting there. It's your wife says, "I need you home by ten." You're pounding out. You're sitting on a good kasha of a ravchaim. You can't tear yourself away from the basement just to come home. You know what I mean? You've had this experience, no? Because you're looking at me like you're thinking. So now you come home. It's ten forty-five. Your wife's sitting there tapping her foot. Arms crossed. You walk in. And she doesn't. She doesn't do it like a parent. She doesn't go. Where were you? It's fine. It's passive aggressive. It's okay. I was hoping to spend some time with you. I guess a different night. It's like, so what is that called in a relationship? Tension. Tension. That's for sure true. It's called an avera. He did the wrong thing. Does your wife feel comfortable right now in the relationship because you did the wrong thing?

23:33 She feels, and this is what she'll say. If you actually have you sit down and have a safe conversation, and you make a safe place, and you're very validating, and you say, "I'm open to listening," you do all the things that husbands are meant to do. She'll say something like this: "I feel unimportant in this relationship." I feel lonely. I'm home at night. I'm waiting for you to come. I'm so proud of you that you're sitting in the basement until ten forty-five at night. If you had let me know that you're going to be home at ten forty-five at night, I wouldn't have been waiting up. I wouldn't have felt lonely. I wouldn't have felt unimportant. But when you say that to me and you give me your word that you're going to be home at ten o'clock at night, I feel lonely. I feel unimportant. I feel devalued. There'll be a lot of adjectives. You're in the doghouse pretty badly. So does she feel comfortable in the relationship right now? Something is missing. What's the antidote to that, Rebbele?

24:24 What would be a way that not only could you make the relationship comfortable again, but could also make the relationship more comfortable than it was before? A mitzvah. Understanding what it is that you did wrong and acknowledging that And taking that experience and making sure you do better next time. Yonatan. Exactly, he knows the Rambam and Hilchas Tshuva. So am I wrong? He literally quoted exactly from the Rambam. I know he knows the Rambam. He quotes the Rambam and Nachash Chuba and says, "Rebbe, what do you mean? It's a Befirah Shem Rambam." Recognize the average Regret that you did the avera, admit that you did the avera, Kabbalah ala asid. Make sure the next time it comes up, you don't do it again. So if your wife Yehuda, if you come home from the base measure ten forty five. You see that look in her face. You give her that space to speak, and then you say to her I did wrong by you. I can really hear why you felt lonely and unimportant, why you felt devalued in this relationship.

25:31 I really regret that. That's not the type of husband that I want to be. Next time, I'll be sure to be more clear with you. And if it comes up that I'm in the middle of something, I'll be more conscious to let you know. And then the next time it happens, also Malcolm, also as man, you actually behave differently. What will your wife feel now? What do you think she would feel now? It's the following week, Thursday night And now it's ten o'clock, and you walk in the door and you say to your wife, "I was in the middle of a difficult ruchayim" But I chose to pause. I'll pick it up again tomorrow. I have an erev Shabbos seder. What do you think your wife would feel? She's taking care of me. So what's that called? That's the mitzvah of tshuva. Here's the point, Rabbeinu.

26:20 Could you do a mitzvah if you're not other than Hashem? Can a malach do a mitzvah? No. He's not other than Hashem. A malach is like a glove on a hand; it has no will of its own. So the first thing you needed was otherness. Remember, could you do a mitzvah? The soul in Shamayim, could it do? Could it do a mitzvah? So what did it need? It needed to be separated so that it could do a mitzvah. Because it's separated, what else can it do aside from doing a mitzvah? It could also do an avera. Could a malach do an avera? Why can't a malach do an avera, Rabbeinu? Because the clarity that it has of Hashem is so obvious, it would never be able to do an avera. Is the distance between us and Hashem a good thing or a bad thing? What would you say?

27:18 It must be a good thing. Even though it gave you the opportunity to do an average, it must be a good thing. But what's powerful about doing the average? The opportunity to do tshuva. One second, Rabosei What brings a marriage closer? If a marriage never has any tension Let's say you have a couple. Let's say this couple is dating. I don't know. Let's say this couple is dating and they're working through things. She has certain values, he has certain values. And they're working through those things. It's good that there's tension. The tension makes the relationship deeper. If the couple can hold that tension together, it deepens the relationship. If a husband and a wife never mess up, then the relationship only remains on that first level of doing a mitzvah. That's no good. So Hashem says, let's create averus. Things that you're going to have a desire to do. Things that will potentially pull you away from me. But what's embedded in there?

28:24 Embedded in the avera is the capacity to do tshuva. What do they say after the fight? You're even closer than you were to begin with Because when you go through it, tshuva at the end brings you closer. This is exactly what I mean when we say that tshuva turns avos into suvos. Correct. That's exactly right. The mitzvah by itself could not do what the avera could do. The avera with tshuva is more powerful than the mitzvah. That's right. The reason we are capable of being closer to Hashem than the malachim is because the malach cannot see himself as an independent identity other than Hashem. It's so obvious to him the truth of Hashem that he's bound by its obviousness. For example If I gave you a knife right now And I said to you, "I want you to cut your hand off. I want you to saw it off," and we're not talking about your hand is trapped under a rock and you're in some movie. What's it called?

29:37 Hundred, hundred and one, hundred, hundred twenty-seven hours. One hundred twenty-seven hours. We're not talking about what was that. One hundred and one donations. That's really sick. The not surprising, but really sick. So you could not right now take your. I'm glad you're proud of each other. You could not take your hand right now and step. You couldn't do it. You couldn't cut off your hand. You don't have the free will to do it. Because the truth of the stupidity of that action is so obvious to you, you would never be able to do it unless you're really, really, really sick. A healthy person could not do that. If they could, it would mean something is wrong with them. A malach looks at an avera and goes, "Why? Why would you ever do something that goes against the infinite will of Hashem? Doesn't make any sense."

30:29 So as a result of that, they can never do something that's meaningful to Hashem in the sense that they can't choose Hashem. They can't choose to do what Hashem wants. They can only do what Hashem wants. They can't choose to do it. They can't make a mistake and then choose to do tshuva, deepening the relationship even further. I know. Done this. Going to explain specifically with the mashal of the getting home at ten o'clock. Why wouldn't you just? Now, show up at ten o'clock so that you can do tshuva, and the tshuva will bring you closer. Right. It's a good question. It's a good. It's a good question. Because the malach can't bring himself to do the initial avera. Why? He doesn't have that level of choice. Fine. Now that we do, that seems logical to me. So that goes to the rishabik that you and I have discussed many times. I don't have time to do that rishabik right now, Sam.

31:22 You want to say that there are four people who have never done that, never did an avera. Because that's not right. Because that's not their mission. Their mission is very, very different. We could go through what the role of a tzaddik is. But our mission, meaning most, most, most Jews, their mission clearly involves some level of avera. That's why Chazal say tshuva was created before the world was created. Sin was always part of the system. Perfection is not interesting to us Choosing to be connected even when I've done something that creates disconnection—that's interesting to us. Like let's say, ideally, in the world before Adam sinned When Avira and Sin appeared. That's a very deep question. Again, also beyond the scope of this particular sheir, but in a certain sense. This is gonna drive Bar crazy. But in a certain sense Did Adam Rishon know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu knew Adam Rishon was going to sin?

32:27 He did. He knew there were two alternatives. He said, "This had one alternative. Either the world would" Or it would sin. Exactly. Hashem always knew that Adam Rishon was going to sin. Which made the world an even lower place. Which is exactly what Hashem wanted. So an avera was always part of the plan. Makes sense. What was that? Because remember, what does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want? He wants a lower world. Was the world low enough in Gan Eden? He could have done what? Maybe yes, maybe no. Because remember, what's the thing that makes the world low? Is the otherness the human choice. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu made the world exactly as a God would And then it's up to us to bring it lower, and then it's up to us to bring Him lower. Thus fulfilling the purpose of creation. Wasn't when Dinah Shem originally created the world There was an opportunity for Adam not to sin. That was the original plan, so to speak.

33:35 Again, this is why he's going to drive Bar crazy. How do you deal with Hashem's foreknowledge versus free will? Obviously, Hashem always knew that Adam and Shem was going to sin. Whether Adam Arishon had that option, according from Darach Hashem, that's something else. I am talking about from Al Kadosh Baruch Hu's perspective. He was always going to sin. Real world, which would have the capacity for him to sin. He created the world that had the capacity for him to sin. He also created a world that had the capacity for him not to sin. But what did Hashem always know was going to happen? Exactly. Fine. Is the end goal really the end of days? Or is it the journey to get there? Next question. Love that question. Relax. It's gonna be okay. You ask that question because we have no idea about the notion of arrival in this world.

34:39 We don't understand the notion of arrival. Where do you go on vacation in LA? Where does somebody go? San diego. Palm springs. Where is palm springs? Florida. He doesn't go to the courtyard. So I have a Talmud right now. I spoke to him this morning. He's a LA boy and he's in San Diego on vacation. What's the first thing you do when you arrive in San Diego when you go on vacation? Check into the hotel. Check into the hotel. Then what? Unpack. Then what? I forgot. I'm speaking to L. A. People. What are you gonna do next? I can't think that far ahead. It's beautiful. Go to the beach. And then say there. It happens to be. Everyone should know in San Diego they have a whole visionet section, a separate beach that they have. Carry out visionets in San Diego. I'm sure that's what you mean. What else could you possibly mean?

35:40 Right away, whenever you get on vacation, anything? Where are we going? We're going to Disney. We're going to the beach. What are we doing today? Do we ever have a notion of arrival? Do we ever have a notion in this world of that's it? I'm done. What was that? To say there's a spiritual idea in the physical world. For only if for a moment That's I mean you said exactly right. People, it's it's a not even just like a physical destination, but just even just to achieve any sort of happiness. People are always looking for it. We don't have any notion of arrival. It's the weirdest thing. Children are at once both exceptionally destination oriented and very present. So kids are the first ones to say, "Are we there yet?" They need to. When are we going to get there so we could do something? I'm bored.

36:40 And yet, children have a capacity to do something that you and I don't do. When they play They actually play. You know what's an interesting thing that you can minimize Netflix on your screen so that you can have Netflix on the bottom of your phone while you're scrolling through Instagram. While you're sending a WhatsApp. It's a crazy thing, you're not even watching the thing that you're watching, right? Children don't do that. Children actually arrive in that moment more than we do, and yet they're very destination focused. But then the question is, like again, let's say with the parents. So what are we going to do? Where are we going to send this kid to school? There's always a what's next? Just like that point that Sim was making. It was actually like I was reading Rav David's book on Tefillah. I like that. I'm reading Rav David's book on Tefillah and Rav Lant. I'm a big fan of that. I was reading Rav David's book on Tefillah.

37:46 Based on the teachings of Rav Lant. And he was basically. By the way, you know what I love about that? I'm sorry, my ADHD kicked in. You know what I love about that? It's based on the teachings of Rabbi Nachman. You see, people write stuff based on the teachings. Based on the teachings of Rabbi Glantz, I'm a big fan of that. So you're reading David's book. And he was basically saying how everyone thinks that you have physical needs, and then Hashem gives you tefillah to achieve those physical needs to daven, and then you get there. But really The really Hashem gives you physical needs so that you daven. That's the main point. So tie it in. So what he's saying is it's not that we're The opportunity to do those things. So you know what it is, Simcha. At the end of days, there's something that you and I don't understand.

38:43 What next? Like what happens when Hashem has dir betachtonim? What's your question? Now what do I do? The only reason we think that way is because in our world we're so destination focused that we don't understand what arrival really means. Superb question. You understand. I feel. Feel. It's good that he feels. Just switch it off. I just. I think that there is a certain sense of arrival that we do have, and that is a necessary part of ourselves. In terms of creating a tension between striving for a goal that we're reaching for, but also taking the steps and feeling the certain sense of accomplishment every step that we do take. It's about being in touch with both of them, which creates an ultimate balance in our life. There's no doubt that the reason everybody today in the psychological world is talking about mindfulness is because we have no idea how to be So we need to be.

39:42 But have you ever tried it? It's almost impossible. What? I'll give you an example. Try not to think for a moment. That was pretty good. You looked completely glazed over at me. You ever tried not to think? Or even to hold on to one thought? It's almost impossible to have no thoughts or two simultaneous thoughts. You're constantly moving in your thoughts. The reason is because it's very hard for us to be still. We are by definition holchem, malachim are omdim. We're holchem. We have a couple minutes left. I think when people get older, they do have that. Much more. Like, like you'll see like people like in nursing homes or like. Not exactly. That's not arrival. That's waiting for departure. But they look back. That's not bad. A little ego there. They look back on the life and they're like they've accomplished. They're not saying what's next. They're more about living day to day, hoping they stay healthy rather than what's the next move.

40:50 But often because they have no next moves left to make. Which is a kind of arrival. Not arrival. That's the right. That's not exactly arrival, right? But you're not going anywhere. That's not the same thing As I think your point is actually an excellent point. The capacity not to go anywhere is not the same thing as I've arrived. It's just I'm here. It ought not to mean you can arrive. You have to be able to go somewhere in order to arrive. But like that sense of accomplishment. For sure, that's for sure. That sense of accomplishment when they spend time looking back at a life well lived. That's a sense of arrival. But the rest of it is merely I don't have the capacity to. But you're right. That is a sense of arrival. So I'm not sure if you're like fusing different things that I'm just saying. I'm just saying, and I think we said before that is when we have a sense of arrival when we're no longer. Things that you said, it's not really sense of arrival because we're satisfied, we're content with what we did, and we no longer push ourselves to do more. At that point, you stop living.

41:59 That's not arrival. That's just That's just I'm out. That's game over. That's not I've arrived. Some people just walk around; they're old. The mid people with a midlife crisis They stop looking at what life can give them. What they have to offer And they start looking at what they did. Refreyfeld spoke about that in a shmooz many years ago. He said, "I'm the youngest one here. Young means to be in motion." There are many young people that are very old. You don't ever experience that. You never experience the sense like sometimes when you're so connected to your phone that you're just You don't feel good afterwards. You don't feel good. This is when I was a kid. I don't know if you guys have this. You'll tell me if you have this. When I was a kid, we had this thing called Nintendo. You know what Nintendo is? Not Nintendo sixty four. Not a Switch.

42:58 I had a Game Boy before color. Now Red is making the Celsius. Old has nothing to do with years. So then I see that we have some gamers here. Maybe you'll know what I'm talking about. I'm pretty old. So when you play Nintendo, especially if you get really into the game and you're jumping level to level, sometimes you can play for four or five hours in a row. Nine, ten even. Used to be under your pillow at night. I had one we didn't have TV in my room because there were very few TVs. Different game. Different era. You don't need a TV. It's like a handheld. Wow. So I just say that. Right. So you ever like get like do they have like you press the button with your thumb? You ever get that callus on your thumb that your thumb hurts after you've been doing it for a long enough time?

43:52 I'm going to really date myself. They had this game, Super Tecmo Ball and Mike Tyson's Punch Out and Super Mario Brothers. These were the original games. You had new Super Mario Brothers. You had new Super literally new Super Mario Brothers. They're killing me, guys. They're killing me. You're playing. You're totally zoned in the game. After four or five hours, your mother says it's time for dinner. It's like you just took an entire afternoon to do that. You ever have a feeling like you have a headache Like afterwards, just like I'm saying, like you're like You're not like you don't feel rejuvenated, you don't feel good, right? Exactly. That look at Jonathan has, right? Why is that? You know about the metaverse. I'm very familiar with Ready Player One in real life. The entire concept is very scary because of that exact thing. Have you read Ready Player One?

44:49 Is one of my favorite books. You must. Anyone here who has not read Ready Player One? Was that the movie? I didn't see it, but I heard the movie was garbage. I know. I'm a very embracing type of personality. The. You guys are funny. Ready Player One is a frightening book that people could lose themselves to. There's no no. There's no there's notion there's notion of like an independent I. It's not a rejuvenating activity. That's not a rival. You know what I mean? It's not a rival. By the way, I'll tell you. I'll give you this last hint. This is a good one. Nachi, you'll take this with you. It's worth coming to Israel just for this. Any sense that we have of arrival in this world always comes with rejuvenation. Which is not the same thing as relaxing. You go to your bed, you sit, you relax, you watch your phone, you do nothing. Is that rejuvenating or relaxing?

45:57 Because you haven't really arrived. You've just stopped. Any time there's a sense of arrival I'm just here with someone that I love. It's rejuvenating, exactly. That's why Shabbos is your manucha. That's true rest. It's not relaxation. It's the rest of rejuvenation. Any time there's arrival, there's rejuvenation. Any time things are draining the system You haven't arrived. Last question. Can you explain more? What do you mean by arrival? I don't know if I can. Faye's question is so powerful. I can only give you a sense of it in this world, but the true arrival is not until Olam Haba, meaning when we live in a world where there is no more what's next. In this world, there's no vision of that. Everything is what's next. In Olam Haba, there's no more what's next. There's just basking in the delight of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's infinite presence. We see.

46:58 What do you like here? What would be an example? Shabbos is an example. Marriage can be an example. Just two people sitting together. There's no need for words. There's no need for plans. They're just enjoying the presence of another. It's close to arrival. It's not exactly arrival. When I think of arrival, I think of the case we said before: getting to the hotel. That's not really arrival. That's just I've stopped at this point in my journey until I take the next step. That's not arrival. You haven't really arrived because you just come here in order to go there. You've just gone there in order to go there. Rebbe, so we're going to stop here.