Rosh Hashana - The Shofar Awakens Our Hearts

2:28 Aya la Malka, and it's our pleasure to welcome Rabbi Mordechai Berg. We're always so excited to hear from you. And ready for Rosh Hashanah with you. Thank you, Barry. Thank you, Aviva. Thank you to everyone who's here. Rosh Hashanah is always a complicated yom tov. We have with ourselves. That every year the challenges of being mamlechah kadosh baruch hu on Rosh Hashanah are new Every year requires us to be mamlechah kadosh baruch hu in a new way. This year is no different. Especially as we think about the last couple of months here in Eretz Yisrael As we continue Tragically, to have chaturvim that are still in captivity. In the wake of the Ramot attack. Going back a little bit further to the Iranian war that we had this summer and the continued war that we're in I heard a comedian, one of these Israeli comedians, talking about how Israel is the only country that has a war within a war.

3:44 That we are at war with Hamas in Gaza, and then we had a war with Iran. We won that war, so now we're back to war. How can we be mamlechah kadosh baruch hu this year in a way that's appropriate taking into Taking and bearing in mind the context that we're That we're of the time that we're living in. What's our avoda this year on Rosh Hashanah? Is it different than any other year, and if so, how is it different? So I want to share with you A couple of ideas A lot of questions, and hopefully an answer that's going to frame our avoda this year. Elul has many Rashi Tevos. Aniladodivil, Dodili. One of the lesser known Rashi Tevos of Elul goes back to a story between David Hamelch and Yehonasan. Yehonasan, of course, is the crown prince. He's the son of Shaul Hamelch.

4:42 And even though David Hamelch was taking away Yehonasan's position as the ultimate Melch of Klal Yisrael. David and Yonasan were best friends. The Mishnah Avos identifies the love for them as Ahava She'ena Tolu Yibadavar, the highest level of love. And Yonason certainly could have had tainas on David Hamelach. After all, he's being replaced; he's being supplanted as king. And rather than doing that, the tzidkus of Yonason, as he says to David Hamelach, "Va'ani e'e l'chol leMishnah" You are the rightful king. And I will be your second in command. So the Rashi teivos of the ani ei yelcha lemishne is Rashi teivos el. So the Sfar Makedoshim point out that these are the Rashi Teivos of El and ask the obvious question: What does this story, what does Yeyna son giving over Malchus to David HaMelech have to do with the Avoda of El? That's our first question for the night. Second question for the night.

5:46 Is there really a minig in Kallah Yisrael? It's not a minig that we follow today, but it is a minig that's brought down in halacha that a person is supposed to get married in the first half of the month, as the moon is getting larger. We want our marriages to be expansive, and so there was a minig in Kallah Yisrael that we would get married specifically until the midway point of the month, and not in the second half of the month. The minig is brought down that that's true in every month except for El. In Elul, a person can get married even in the second half of the month when the moon is getting smaller. Shaili is what's unique about Elul. Why is it that we can get married even in the second half of the month in Elul? The Debrechayim of Sons used to specifically try to go to a chasna during Elul, and he would say this was his avoda of preparing for Rosh Hashanah.

6:41 What is that? What does that mean? What's the connection between Achashna and Rosh Hashanah, and why can we get married in the second half of the month? Rosh Hashanah is Hayom Haras Olam. It is the day that the world was created. But the truth is, it's not the day that the world was created. The world was created six days earlier. Rosh Hashanah is the day that Adam and Chava were created. And so the obvious question is: Why do we say Hayom Harasaylam? That today is the day that the world was created. Somehow, the chaos of the first day of creation, the sin of Adam and Chava, is in some way the beginning of the world. In other words, it's almost like everything up until Rosh Hashanah was a prelude; it was setting the stage. For that unbelievable first day when Adam and Chava were born, but a very short while after Adam was created, and ultimately Chava was created from Adam.

7:47 Everything in the entire world was changed in all people and for all time. The very fabric of creation was changed. When we say "Hayayim Harasaylam," one can't help but think that the birth of the world. Begins with the chaos of Adam and Chava, and that's mind-boggling because Of course, that's when everything went wrong. In what way is that the birth of everything? And we know that the Arizal brings down; it's found in many places. The Arizal says that even though the sin of Adam and Chava impacts the entire calendar year and impacts all of creation. But specifically, these yomim noraim of Tishrei are shayach in a very specific way to the chid of Adamarishon Because the child of Adamarishon happened on Rosh Hashanah and it happened on the very first day of creation The month of Tishrei has the most immediate impact from Adamarishon's sin.

8:55 And so it's not accidental that Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Shmini Atzeret, Simchat Torah are all there to counteract, to be metaken, to rectify the sin of Adam HaRishon. And the Ari Zal says specifically because it's closest to the sin of Adam Harishon, Rosh Hashanah has an unbelievable capacity to rectify the sin of Adam Harishon. So how do we do this? How do we rectify the sin of Adam Harishon on Rosh Hashanah? So I want to share with you an amazing thing. That at first glance, when you hear it, I imagine it will be very new. It was very new to me when I learned this Torah. And at first glance, it's even mind-boggling. The Arizal says We know that Chava came from the rib of Adam Harishon, and Adam Harishon was put to sleep. As we're going to go through the psukim soon, we'll see it inside. Adam Harishon was put to sleep.

9:55 And the Arizal says that this was the beginning of everything going wrong. The fact that Adam Yishum was put to sleep—that was the problem. It's a strange detail of the story. We don't generally think of that part of the story being the icker. We don't look at the creation of Chava as where everything goes wrong. And even if we did, I doubt that any of us would identify the problem of Adam HaRishon as him being sleeping while Chava was created. That seems to be almost like an ancillary detail. I've read these Pesukim many times in my life. I always kind of thought of it as the first anesthesia. That was the first time that somebody had to be put to sleep because they were having surgery. And yet the Arizal says no. He says the fact that Adam HaRishon went to sleep. That's the beginning of every problem. The fact that I called Baruch Hu put him to sleep.

10:53 We all have parts of ourselves that are Adam and Chava. Every one of us has a Chava that lives inside of us. The process of creating Chava from within ourselves. And the Ari Zal says a very profound thing. He says when we blow the shofar on Rosh Hashanah. Uru Yishen the Mishin Aschem, like the Rambam says that the shofar is a call to awaken from our slumber, says the Arizal. The shofar being blown on Rosh Hashanah is as if in this moment on Rosh Hashanah, Chava is being created from within ourselves. Only this time, the call of the shofar keeps us awake. And so now we're going through Rosh Hashanah. Bringing out that element of Chava from within ourselves, but we're being metakin the chait of Adam Arishon by going back to that very first moment when Chava was created. This time, instead of being asleep, we'll be awake because the call of the Shomer wakes up our heart.

12:02 That is an exceptional shot, one that I had never heard before. That is an amazing arizal. I don't know how many of you are experts in the Arizal. If it's new to you, you could raise your hand. I'll raise my hand. It was brand new to me. I had never heard that before. It's obviously something exceptionally deep. And the shaila is, if we can try to unpack a little bit what this means for us in this moment, to try to have a new understanding of Rosh Hashanah, a new understanding of how we could be mamlechah kadosh baruch hu, and hopefully one that will take us into the new year in a way that gives a context to what we've been going through for the last several years. So it's kedai for us now that we know that the creation of Chava was the beginning of all of the problems. Specifically, that Chava was that Adam Rishon was put to sleep. Let's go through the psukim together. It's just a couple of psukim. I'm going to read them inside. I'll translate them and ask some basic questions so that we can start to develop a mahalach.

13:05 So the first pasuk is Va'yikra ha'Adam shemis luchol abeimul loofa shamayim luchol chayas asado u'da Adam lo matza ezer kenegdo. We know that Adam Rishon named all of the cattle, all the fowls of the heaven, all the beasts of the field, but for man, for himself, he did not find an ezer kenegdo. The Gemara in Yevamos tells us that Adam Rishon was intimate with all of the animals. He was trying to find a mate. He was not able to find a mate. So what does our Kadosh Baruch Hu do? He causes a deep sleep to fall upon Adam. And he goes to sleep. And our Kadosh Baruch Hu takes one of his ribs, and he closes the flesh in its place. Rashi says, 'Vayiskor makom achotach.' And he closed. What does it mean that a Kadosh Baruch Hu closed that side where the rib was taken from? Rashi says makom achotach, the place of the incision.

14:13 And so the first question that we have If we're learning this carefully, it is kedai to learn chumash carefully and slowly Because there's unbelievable wisdom in every word of the Torah. Sometimes we learn these stories as children, so we never had the time to develop our actual understanding of the story. The obvious question that we should ask is: the pasuk itself, and Rashi is highlighting that the incision was covered up. It never seemed important to me when I was reading the story, when I was learning the story of the creation of Chava. I never thought that the Torah would need to give us the surgical procedure. How exactly did Hakadosh Baruch Hu do it? He opened them up. He took one of the ribs out. He closed them up. Just tell us that Hakadosh Baruch Hu took one of Adam Harishon's ribs. Why does the Torah highlight that specifically? Adam Harishon was closed up in the place of the incision. Why is the surgical procedure here so important? And specifically, this aspect of the surgical procedure. The Torah doesn't give us every detail about the surgery. Just this specific detail. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu closed up Adam in the place of the incision.

15:31 Another Rashi Veisham Veikach. What does it mean? Hakadosh Baruch Hu and Adam Marishon slept, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu took. So that Adam Marishon, why was he put to sleep? This is what Rashi says. Because otherwise Adam Marishon would. Look inside of himself, he would see the piece of flesh being removed. And then he would know from which organ in his body she was created. And if Adam Rishon would see that He would be repulsed by Chava. This is a very strange thing. What's going on over here? She's going to be repulsive if he sees the process. Adamariysha knows; he knows, as we're going to see in a moment. Adamariysha knows that she came from inside of him. In fact, as we'll see in a moment, that literally becomes her name. Why is it critical that Adamariysha not see the process? Why is it critical that he be sewed up?

16:44 And that he shouldn't see the flesh being removed from him? Because otherwise, he'll be repulsed by her. Why will he be repulsed? What's the difference if he sees it? It seems rather childish to say he'll be grossed out. It's like you don't want to see how your food gets made. I happen to love hot dogs. I like hot dogs. I'm a hot dog guy. I know you might look at me and you might not know that. You might think I'm a hamburger guy. I'm a hamburger guy too, but I happen to like a great hot dog. If I'm in Chicago, you go to Romania and they have great hot dogs. If you're in Eretz Yisrael, Baruch Hashem, we have Chafetz Chaim hot dogs. If you're in New York, Abel's and Hyman, I like a good hot dog. But you never want to see hot dogs get made. You never want to go to the factory and see the scraps of every type of meat and fat and everything be pushed together. It could gross a person out.

17:37 It seems to me a very strange thing to think that Adom Arishon, who was such an unbelievable spiritual being, if he saw that Chava came from inside of him, he would be repulsed by her. What does that mean? It has to be deeper than just he'd be grossed out. I don't even want to use that lashim. Continuing The even Hashem Elokim asatzele asher lakach men Adam le'ishah ve'yeviela Adam Hakadosh Baruch Hu built this rib that he had taken from man, and he built it now into a woman. He took from Adam and built it into a woman, and now he brings Chava. He brings her to Adam. And now listen what Adam Rishon says. Zoys hapam this time, meaning as opposed to all the other times when I was trying to find my mate from within all of the animals of the world. Zoys hapam etz me'atzamai ubasar mibseri. This bone of my bones. This flesh of my flesh.

18:37 Lozosi kara isha. This one shall be called isha. Shall be called a woman. Why? Ki me'ish. Lukach azoyes, because this was taken from man. Earlier, we highlighted that Adam Rishon didn't see the process Because otherwise he'd be repulsed. He took one look at her and he knew exactly where she came from, despite the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu covered up the incision, despite the fact that Adam Rishon was put to sleep so that he shouldn't see the process. He took one look at Chava and he said, "I recognize you. You're my rib." " Which, by the way It's not a great pickup line. I can't imagine a guy getting down on one knee. I see that we have Tehila who's here. Tehila, Blessed Hashem, will get married soon. She's still single. I was loyca to teach Tehila, but Tehila, I'm just telling you, if a boy proposes to you and he says I recognize you You were my appendix. I don't think you should say yes to him. I'm glad you're saying no. This is not a great line. Adam Rishon is clearly saying something very deep.

19:48 But it's interesting. Adam Rishon has to identify her. It's like he makes a speech. What is Adam Rishon identifying? This is your wife. I called Shmuel who made her. Zoyis ha'pam etzem me'asvayisai basar mib'sari. I know you. What is the big identification going on here? Why does Adam Rishon have a need to identify her? And then Alkein Ya Zavish has Avi VeZimah V'Davik BiIshto V'Hayul Basar Echad. And now Adam Rishon, having met his wife He's told therefore, man shall leave his father and his mother. Get married, cleave to his wife. And there shall become one flesh. They should be V'Hayul Basar Echad. This is a powerful question. It's a famous question. They were just one. In fact, Chazal tell us that Adam and Chava were made together. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu split Chava off from Adam So they were one. It's a fascinating thing to take people that are one Split them, and then tell them to become one. It's fascinating for two reasons. If we were one, why do we have to become one?

21:04 And more than that, it sounds like they were one in a much more profound way than they ever could be after that. Up until this point, all the Machava were made back to back; they were literally one being. Now they're always going to be two people. Adam is always going to be Adam. Chava is going to be Chava. It's not possible for them to become one flesh. Rashi explains that one flesh here means children. But if we take it on a literal pshat level. Which I think is important. What are we being told here? They should become one. They were one. How could they possibly become one again? Why split them in order to become one? Finally, the story finishes. They were both undressed, but they were not ashamed. There is one detail that is missing from the story. One detail that I think many of us overlook And it is a fascinating detail.

22:10 The Torah never tells us that Adam woke up. Barry, isn't that a good one? We just read a whole story. Adam Arishon was put to sleep. He was put into this tardema. I looked carefully at the pesukim. I couldn't find it. I'm telling you, look at the pesukim. Don't trust me. Hakadosh Baruch Hu put him into a deep sleep, and he slept, and he took one of his sides. The next thing we hear is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu built Chava And then the next thing we hear is VaYomer HaAdam That Adam Rishon says Zoy Sapam. Now I know Etsa Meatsmais I Basam RibSari. How come the Dara doesn't tell us that Adam Rishon woke up from the surgery? It's almost like if you're paying careful attention One detail was critical. Adam Rishon was put to sleep. Tell us that Adam Rishon woke up from the surgery.

23:06 Where is that in the story? As someone who's had surgery, I hope that many of you have not had surgery. My appendix ruptured several years ago. I was in the hospital for a month. It was a close call, but Baruch Hashem, I lived to give this year. And I have to tell you, going into surgery is terrifying. Getting the anesthesia and being put to sleep is terrifying. Waking up is a critical part of the process. I'll share with you a nonsense detail that none of you need to know. It's 8:30 at night over here, so my ADHD kicked in like two hours ago. When I went into surgery, I was terrified of the anesthesia because they told me that it's possible that I'm going to be put under. And in my state of being put under, I'll wake up in the middle of the surgery.

23:58 But because I'll be so heavily sedated, I won't be able to open my eyes or my mouth to tell them that I'm awake. But don't worry, they said to me, probably you'll be scared and your heart rate will go up, and then they'll just knock you out again. And I told the doctor, you put me in a coma. If I wake up in the middle of the surgery, I'm going to be so angry. And he said, no, it probably won't happen, but it might happen. So sign here. And I was so afraid. And then I went. I went to the actual surgery and had an Australian anesthesiologist who was a psychopath. He like he put the anesthesia in the IV bag and the room started to spin And I was like, "Whoa, the room is spinning," and he goes, "Which way? Forwards or backwards?" and I was like, "It's spinning backwards." He goes, "Oh, that's the good stuff."

24:53 And I was like, 'Oh my God, this guy is psychotic.' And then I'm like, okay, what comes next? I remember he looked over me and he looked down and he said, 'Good night,' and that was the last thing I remember. But then I woke up after the surgery. And apparently I was very heavily drugged, and apparently I was very funny. I don't really remember much of it, but I was only speaking in Hebrew and then I was doing comedy bits from Brian Regan. Waking up is as critical as going to sleep. You look through the entire story. The story is so precise. Adam Rishon was put to sleep. The incision was covered up. We don't hear how the incision was made, but the incision was covered up. The whole thing happened while Adam Rishon was sleeping, so that he wouldn't see Chava coming from within him, because otherwise somehow he'd be repelled by her. Which we need to understand.

25:40 The whole. When did he wake up? When did Adam Rishon wake up to say this? It's like the Torah assumes that he woke up But maybe he didn't. Maybe the state of sleep that Adam Rishon was in. Maybe that lasted, in a certain sense, and maybe that's our job to unpack over here. The creation of Chava Al pikabala, al pichasidus Mirrors the creation of the soul. The relationship between Adam and Chava is the relationship between Hakadosh Baruch Hu and the neshama. We also were one with Hashem. There was a time when we were in Shamayim, and just like Adam and Chava were one before they were separated, the neshama when it's in Eilam Haneshamos, when it's up in Shamayim, is in a state of complete dvekas to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The obvious question is: So then, why were we sent down here? Why create that distance? Why create that gap? What's the value there?

26:49 The Alter Rebbe says in Tanya, quoting the Medrash in Parshas Naso, that the purpose of creation was that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted to create a dira b'tachtonim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to create a dwelling place in the world down below. And so what Hakadosh Baruch Hu is saying to the neshama is In our relationship, there's something that's missing. There's something that needs to be deepened. Our relationship exists right now here in the spiritual world. But it does not exist in the physical world, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu says that's where I want the relationship. What is Hakadosh Baruch Hu saying? In what way does this deepen the relationship? And I believe the answer is as follows: In order to deepen the relationship with the neshama Hakadosh Baruch Hu says we need to separate from each other. There needs to be a gap that we traverse. A lacuna that we spend our lives trying to bridge And so Hakadosh Baruch Hu says Go someplace where I appear to be totally absent.

28:07 Go to the physical world. And in that separation We now have the opportunity to find each other. To find each other in the darkness is much more profound than to find each other in the light. A famous line of poetry from Rav Levi Yitzchak Mibraditchev. He said, "I'm playing hide and seek with Hashem, and I'm finding Him everywhere." Searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the light does not represent a deepening of the relationship. Searching for Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the darkness, in the space of separation, in the space of appeared absence That's the profundity of the relationship. There's a joke that a man is on the ground and he's searching for something, and his friend walks by and he goes, "What are you looking for?" And he goes, "I'm looking for my wallet." So his friend gets down on the floor and he's trying to help his friend look for the wallet. And he goes, "Where did you drop it?"

29:17 He goes, "Oh, I dropped it over there, about thirty feet away." So he goes, "So why are we looking over here?" So the friend says, 'It's very dark over there. The light on the light bulb is over here. The lamp post is over here. So I could see over here.' There's no value in searching for the wallet in the place where it's light outside. If you dropped the wallet in the darkness, you have to go search for the wallet in the darkness. Chaos Tragedy The inexplicable pain that we live through as human beings On a personal level On a national level All of these things are expressions. Of the separation that we have with Hakadosh Baruch Hu and that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created, not because Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the chaos, not because He created the pain, chas v'shalom But all of these things are products of what it means to live in a world where we're separated from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The talmidim just got here to yeshiva.

30:28 And one of the talmidim, a very sensitive young man, a really special person. I feel so privileged to have him in Sheer. Young man by the name of Shabevitz. He asked me after the Ramot attacks. How do we balance this? How do we live like this? How do we live with Fifteen minutes from our yeshiva. These terrorists, kids, they just came and they murdered people senselessly. How do we live like that? How are we supposed to have a good day? We're supposed to be besimcha as yidden. How do I balance that? And I'm thinking to myself, first of all, what an incredible young man at 18 years old to ask such a question. I don't know if I was thinking that deeply at 18 years old. And also, how tragic is it that this kid has to ask that question? We're living in a time where a week into being in yeshiva.

31:23 He's confronted with the chaos of the world, and he's asking these questions like, "How do we balance that?" And that's a very two thousand and twenty five question. Kids today are growing up without the safety and security that I grew up with. I don't remember the world being like this in the eighties. I just don't remember the constant stream of chaos and attempted political assassinations and actualized political assassinations. You can't be a human being today. This is all a product of the separation that Hakadosh Baruch Hu brought into the world in order for us to find Him within the chaos of the world. Separation creates choice. Choice is how we deepen the relationship. We have a choice when we're confronting the darkness of the world. If everything was light, we would have no choice. The neshama in Shamayim has no choice. A malach has no choice.

32:22 We who live in the darkness have the opportunity to ignore Hakadosh Baruch Hu in this world. Many years ago, I heard from I was counseling a couple And I heard from the wife. She said to her husband in the session. She said, 'There's only one thing I can't do for myself. I could work on myself like crazy.' I could work on myself like crazy. I could go to therapy and I could go to mussar vadem and I could really fill myself up from the inside. But she said, "There's one thing I can't do for myself." I can't choose myself. I need somebody in my life to choose me, and that's what I'm asking you to do. I'm asking you to choose me. That is a very, very powerful thing. That she's saying, there's only so much that we could fill ourselves up with. There's only one thing that we need from another.

33:21 Will you choose to be with me? That's the single most powerful thing in the world. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says to the neshama, let's deepen our relationship. We don't know each other from a distance. Right now, you're not choosing me, so I'll create a world where I appear to be absent, and in the space of that absence there'll be chaos and there'll be tragedy and there'll be suffering and there'll be avaras But if you choose me within the context of that darkness, that will be the single greatest expression of our love. And I don't mean to say this like a kaifer A kadosh baruch hu is perfect, but there is something that we can do for him that a kadosh baruch hu can't do for himself. A kadosh baruch hu can't choose himself. He creates us, and he says the vulnerability, so to speak, not because he's diminished without it; he's perfect. But the vulnerability, so to speak, of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is, he says, "I create you" And you might not choose me.

34:25 You might, in fact, choose something else completely. And that's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu gifts us with. He gifts us that of all the tragedy in the world, he says, "I'll give you free choice" So that you can choose me. Says the Vilna Gaon, this is the difference between a Melech and a Moshe. A Melech is someone who has authority because the people give him authority. That's a Jewish king. A Jewish king is not a tyrant. A Jewish king is not a dictator. That's a Moshe. That's a ruler. A ruler rules by dint of his power. A Melech is a Melech because the nation chooses to make him a Melech. Ain Melech below Am. You can't be a melech without the nation choosing you to be a melech. Says Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I don't want to be your Moshe, I want to be your melech. I want you to make me into a king. This is the vulnerability of Rosh Hashanah. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says Will you be my melch?

35:30 That's the most. It's going to sound like a funny word, but that's the single most romantic thing in the world. A perfect being. Who creates us and says, "Let's go to the darkness together," and in that space of darkness, where you're going to have a million temptations and a million things that go wrong Will you still choose me? Will you still search for me? Will you still be loyal to the essential connection that we have? That's why our Kadosh Baruch Hu gives us free will. He wants us to freely choose Him. He wants us to be able to recognize the essential oneness that exists between us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu, dafka in the space of distance, not in the dark, not in the light, but in the darkness. Which gives us context to understand what an action, what an avera actually is. What is an avera?

36:22 As children, we grow up and we think "Well, an avera is I did a bad thing." So it's a very childish notion of what an avera is. But it's actually much more profound than that. An avera is an action that denies the relationship. Just think of it. Now that we're Bez Hashem in relationships ourselves, and Bez Hashem Tehila is going to be in a relationship soon. We should keep showering her with brachos and all of the women that the shir is sponsored for, that they should find their zivug hagum b'hemiribyanenu. When you're in a relationship, what you learn is that sin. Is in a certain way, it's denying the relationship. It's putting yourself first. It's I'm not interested in being loyal to you right now. Something is important to your husband, but something else is more important to me. So it speaks to the darkness. That's what sin is. Sin is the acceptance of the separation, as opposed to searching for each other within the separation. That's what a mitzvah is. A mitzvah is an act that literally bonds us. The mitzvah is from El Shaddai to bond ourselves to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A mitzvah bonds us to Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the darkness, and avarah is leaning into the darkness. It's accepting the separation as real. It's denying the essential oneness that exists between us.

37:42 With this in mind, let's return to the story of Adam and Chava. When Adam and Chava sin What's the punishment given to Chava? Listen to the words of the pasuk. Ela isha amar har ba arbeitz vonech. He said, "I'll surely increase your sorrow and your pregnancy, and in pain you shall bear your children." The Elishich Tshukasech And your husband you will desire. Listen to the words, Vehu Yimshal Bach. And he will be a ruler to you, not a Melech, but a Moshelech. What is the Torah telling us? That because Adam and Chava sinned, because they leaned into the separation, because they leaned into the darkness, because they weren't Mamlechah Kodesh Baruch Hu, because they didn't freely choose Him So then the punishment is that Chava says, now my relationship with Adam, the Neshama's relationship with the King, is no longer the relationship of a Melech. Now it's the relationship of a Moshe.

38:49 This is what happens when we don't choose our king. There's a consequence. If you're mamlech Hakadosh baruch hu, you get to be in that relationship without the free choice of that relationship. What are you saying about the relationship that you have with the king? You're saying he's not my king. He's my ruler. There's a deepening of the separation. That's what happens when you lean into the separation. As my mother would always tell me as a kid, your actions have consequences. The consequence of living a life of separation is that you deepen the separation. Now there's a world of pain. The pain has become deeper. Now to bring something in reality requires a tremendous amount of pain. Now there's a separation. There's desire for a husband, but the desire doesn't automatically link you. There's a gap. You've turned your husband into a ruler because you didn't choose him as melech.

39:43 Let's go back to the questions that we asked. Why was Adam put to sleep? Why was it necessary for us to know about the surgery that Hashem closed the place of the incision? Why would Adam Harishon be repulsed if he saw the piece of flesh from which Chava was created? What is the significance of the fact that Adam Harishon has to identify her? And he says, 'Etzam meatz Mosai, basar ibsari.' Why does he have to proclaim "That's me. I recognize her." Why does he have to say that? Why are they told v'ha'yu lebaserecho? They were one. Why do they need to become one? And of course, our final question was, what's the significance of the fact that Adam and Eishon never woke up? I think now we're ready to have an answer to this question, and it's a very profound answer. Because remember, the Arizal says that Adam and Eishon being put to sleep That's where everything went wrong.

40:42 Adam sleeps. That's where the separation begins. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "Go to sleep." You can't see this happening. That's what's critical. You need to sleep through this process, almost as if Chava appeared out of nowhere. You'll wake up and there shall be But not you seeing the process. There has to be an extraction here that separates Adam and Chava. There has to be an extraction process. And if you're awake for that extraction process, then the separation won't go. It can't be obvious. If it's obvious, there's no separation for the neshama to come into this world and know clearly, I am a chelak elokami mal. There's no choice there. There's no separation. So there needs to be a process where Adam Yisrael is put to sleep in order for the mission of creation to be fulfilled. And why does the Torah tell us not how she was extracted? The Torah tells us one surgical detail that the incision was closed up, and I imagine that Akeldosh Baruch Hu is quite the surgeon. I don't think that Akeldosh Baruch Hu stitched him up in a way that Admarishon could see the stitches, and even back then, I don't think he had those disappearing stitches over time. I don't think they just washed away in the shower.

42:06 What does it mean that Hakadosh Baruch Hu closed them up? It means that when Adam Marisham woke up from the surgery, there was no scar. The incision was closed. He had no idea where she came from. He had no idea where she came from, and that's why he would have been repulsed if he knew where she came from. It's not because he would have been grossed out. This is not a childish story. Distance creates attraction. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. There's no, there's no gahguim. There's no, there's no yearning. There's no yearning if there's just so much closeness. That's why a person who yearns for a family member is terrible. There's something deeply psychologically wrong with that because we're not looking to become one with somebody we're already one with. That's repulsive. I don't want to become one with you. I'm already one with you.

43:03 I want to become one with somebody who's so far away from me. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says It's not you. This is not a brother-sister relationship. This is not a mother-son relationship. Even though she literally came from you I want you to have the feeling of absolute separation, so that you won't be repulsed, because it is repulsive to be intimate, to be one with someone who you're already one with. So now. Adam Harishon is introduced to Chava, and he proclaims it. It's a chiddush. It's something that has to be brought out into the world. He says, "I know you." I know you. I couldn't see it in my body. I went to sleep. I didn't wake up and see an incision. I didn't see the rib being removed. But he recognizes her And there's something familiar about here. There's an attraction. There's something. It's like when you meet your spouse.

44:01 You ever have the feeling like you know these stories of like we went out and somehow I just knew. There's a familiarity. There's the soul calling itself, you know, like you remember each other. Remember before you were born, 40 days, the Bas Kol came out and said Ploni will marry Plonus. This relationship was destined to be. Ad Marisham proclaimed you were one with me. It speaks to the distance. It speaks to the separation that exists. That's why it's such a chiddush that the Torah records it. He says, "I'm giving you that name" "That forever you'll be known as Ishah because you came from Ish." It's that eternal mission of let's find each other in the darkness. That even though the separation is absolute We know that we came from each other. We don't know it in the way that we knew it if I was awake.

44:55 But we know it deeply inside of ourselves. Let's be loyal to that mission of constantly searching for each other. This is the avoda of marriage. The avoda of marriage is that loyalty that comes with time. That no matter what happens, I'm here. I'm in it. The darker it gets, the deeper the mission. That's a very, very lost art. The art of not giving up. The art of not saying. This is too hard. And knowing that it's hard by design, marriage is designed tension. Azer Kenegdo, Adam Richon said, none of these people are like me. I can't. These animals are not my mates. There's not enough in common, and we don't have enough separation to exist for me to live out the God-Soul relationship in a marriage. So Akolish Baruchu says, you're right. In order for there to be distance, it needs to be you. So there'll be you, and then there'll be separation, and then you'll search for each other. Anybody who's married knows that the secret of marriage is: can you find each other when you don't want to?

46:07 When the other person is driving you absolutely nuts? When your triggers are exploding all over the place? Where your deepest childhood wounds are not just being touched, but they're being smacked over and over again? Until you're so furious that from the most primal places of your being you're saying, "I want to be anywhere but here" But I'm not going anywhere. We're going to work through this and we're going to find each other. And that is such a gift that we give to each other, and it's such a gift we give to ourselves. It's literally how we come into being. The growth that you can do when you're single is nothing Literally nothing, compared to the growth that you do when you're married. It's specifically here that we find the mitzvah of leave your home. Leave your place of comfort, leave your place of oneness, go out into the world of separation and find your other half.

47:03 I will never be one like we were before. We really were one in Shamayim. The Neshama and Hakadosh Baruch Hu were one. So how can I create oneness down here? How can Adman Chava, who were originally one, be separate and then say, "No, now we're really one." The answer is, just because you were one does not mean you were one. You might have appeared to be one But you weren't really one because the relationship wasn't deep. You never chose each other. The oneness that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants is the oneness of choice. Adam and Chava needed to be separated in order for them to choose each other. And that's the key. Adam never wakes up. Adam lives in the world of separation. Adam lives in the world of the distance that's forever. That's the nature of this world. Of course, Adam woke up. He declares things. This is etz maatz meisah basamib sarim. We're all here. So clearly, the dream wasn't forever.

48:10 But in a certain way, it still is. In a certain way, we're still living with that sense of separation, which is artificial, because everything is one. And the relationship between Hakadosh Baruch Hu and Klal Yisrael is essential, and He has not abandoned us for one minute. Adar Abba, He is here within all of the chaos, and it's our job to find Him. But in that darkness of Adamari Shon Staying asleep. When they sin, which is of course what happens in the darkness, because you're going to fall for the trick of the darkness. What does Avraham Rishon do? He blames Chava. Chava blames the Nachash. Everybody's blaming each other. Blame is what happens when we're in a state of separation. When we're in a state of oneness, we don't blame other people. We take responsibility together. And in our darkness, we did the same thing. We betrayed Hashem.

49:08 And that's the question that all of us are asking ourselves every Rosh Hashanah. Why should Hashem want me to be mamlechim? I've sinned so much this year And I know I'm probably going to sin next year too. There's an underlying thesis to this whole season that all of us feel like frauds. Really, I'm Kol Hachochma. You want me to be mamlechim? I understand why you want the gedolim to be mamlechim. I understand why you want the tzaddikim to be mamlechim. But why would you want me? I'm a Rasha Marusha. I'm the last person that you want to be Mamlechum. I might be able to hide my sins from my friends. I might even be able to hide them from myself, but I can't hide them from you. Why would you want me to be Mamlechum? And this is exactly what Kol D'varuchu says. In the beginning of the Asarusimet Tshuva, before you've even done Tshuva, it's you that I want to be choosing me. You're the one I want you to make me into a Melech because you're a sinner. Because you live in the darkness. That's the beauty of you, of all people, being mamlechmi. I'm going to say a heretical statement. I don't know if Hakadosh Baruch Hu is as excited when the tzaddikim are mamlechim.

50:16 It could be that us who live in the darkness, who lean into the darkness, who are falling for the trick of the darkness, it could very well be that our being mamlech Hakadosh Baruch Hu is much more profound. It's much more meaningful. The couple that finds each other in the dark. That's the couple that gets to live with the knowledge of how deep their intimacy actually runs. That's what Hakadosh Baruch Hu is looking for. He's looking for our loyalty. And this is what the shofar represents. The shofar is every one of us in the process of trying to bridge the gap between us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu, trying to diminish the separation. We blow the shofar because we're all in the process of having a chava extracted from ourselves. And we say this time we want to be awake. This time we want to know. We want to see it. I want to see Chava come from inside of me. I want to see the incision. I want to see it get made.

51:12 Because I'm so tired of the separation. I don't want to live in the state of separation anymore. I want to live in Olam Habah. I want to live in a reality where the oneness is revealed. We've worked hard enough in the darkness. Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We demand on Rosh Hashanah. We want to be Mamlech. You were blowing the shofar because we want to stay awake. We don't want to live in this sleepy world where I'm not the person that I want to be. Had Adam and Eve been awake He never would have blamed Chava for the sin that happened on that first day of Rosh Hashanah that led us to all of these moments. Dafke, in the moment where Adam and Eve sinned We blow the shofar because this is the tikkun. This time we're going to stay awake well before the sin ever occurs. We're going to create a reality where Hashem's presence is obvious, and this is the connection between David and Yehonasan and the month of Elul.

52:08 Yehonasan could have, and I think most of us would have Said, "You're not going to take my place. You're not going to become king." Like all of us who say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you're not the Melech over my life. I could do what I want with my life. I want to say lashon hara. I know you gave me a mouth and I know you gave me speech, but I want to say lashon hara with that mouth. Yehina son says to David Melech, you are the rightful king, and what am I? Mishnele Melech. I am the second, not to the Moshele, but to the Melech. I recognize the primacy of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. I buy into that oneness, and I recognize my role within Creator. That's an unbelievable thing that Yehoshua did. It's the model for all of us. The Hafdal Re'echa Kamocha. Rashi says, 'Who is that friend? Who is it that we're supposed to love?' Rashi says that Re'echa is Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself. The Hafdal Re'echa Kamocha. We're meant to love our friend. Who's our friend? Our friend is Hashem.

53:04 The love that exists between David HaMelech and Yehoshua, which is the love of all of Elul Is the love of Yehoshua choosing to be Mamlech David HaMelech to recognize that. David Hamelach is the true king, and I am his subject, and I will be his Mishnay Lamelech. And this is what Klal Yisrael says: Do a Kabbush Baruchu on Rosh Hashanah and in the month of Elul, we will be your Mishnay Lamelech, we will be your Viceroy. And this is why we don't get married in the second half of the month usually. Except for Elul Because we don't want to get married in a space where the moon is being diminished. We want to get married in the first half of the month where everything is expansive, where we're moving into the light of the moon that illuminates the darkness. Except for El. In El, you can even get married when the moon is being diminished. Even in the darkest moments, even in that last Tipti Pah where the moon is basically not seen, you can get married then too, because that's what marriage really is. Marriage is finding us, finding each other, even in the darkest moments. That's why Rosh Hashanah is on the first day of the month.

54:07 Not on the fifteenth of the month. Most Yom Tovim are on the fifteenth of the month. Where mamlechah kadosh baruch hu we get married, so to speak, kadosh baruch hu when there is no light of the moon whatsoever, in the absolute darkness, we blow the shofar. That's where we find the light. That's why the derechayim said All I need to do in Elul is go to a chasna, and then I'm prepared for Rosh Hashanah. Beis Hashem, we should be zayecha to that. I didn't know that the shir was going to be and the s'chus for all of those women to find their zivug, but it's so appropriate. Alakadosh baruch hu works it out. That's what we're looking for. Every one of us is looking for a real, genuine relationship. We're all looking to find the kiddush baruch hu in the darkness, and specifically in these times, where things are so exceptionally dark. And it's so difficult.

54:53 It's so difficult to live with the pain. It's almost like we've become numb to the pain. Nacha terrorist attack. Nacha soldier dying in Gaza. Nacha. Not a missile being fired in. I'll tell you the truth, in Eretz Yisrael, we're not even guarding the missiles anymore. The missiles from Yemen, who cares? Nobody lives in the five towns. If a missile was coming towards the five towns, I promise you, nobody in the five towns would be going. It's from Mexico. They don't know how to shoot missiles. We have to live with that here in Eretz Yisrael. And so, yes, in a certain way, we've numbed ourselves to the pain. But in another way This nation is becoming so deep. We're so loyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We're so beautiful. We have to continue to find each other in the darkness because that's the greatest expression of finding Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

55:42 And be'ez Hashem, we should be zei'echa to blow the shofar, to be mamlech Hakadosh Baruch Hu from the darkness, and to say the Rebbeinu Shlom I choose you Even when everything is terrible, we continue to choose Hakadosh Baruch Hu with the knowledge that all of this separation is meant to be obliterated by the light of Eilemahaba. B'mehera bi'ameinu, amen.