Rosh Hashana - Screaming HaMelech When It Hurts

2:16 And we are not Baruch Hashem living in Chutz Laaretz. And for us, this is not academic. It's easy. It's easy sometimes when you're far away from something to not pay attention to it so much. It's easy to say It happened over there in America. It happened six thousand miles away. It's a tragedy, but when you read about it in the newspaper and then you eat your cereal, it's like, say, there. I heard about it. It's terrible. I read about it in the ragga. I didn't learn about it until Shabbos. I just learned what the ragga is. Thank you for buying it with my credit card. But by us it's not like that By us. Every day that we turn around It's something. It's always something. It can't be that we're mamlech Hakadosh baruch hu. These years, the way that we were mamlech Hakadosh baruch hu five years ago, ten years ago And as you get older, the responsibility on yourself to be mamlech Hakadosh baruch hu in your lives becomes more real.

3:23 The way that your mamlechah Kadosh Baruch Hu, as you get older, you'll see it impacts your marriage, it impacts the way you raise your children. To bring Hashem into your life To say every aspect of my life is Is an expression of crowning Hakadosh Baruch Hu as King. It's not an easy thing to do And it's not. You'll forgive me for speaking like this. It's not kitschy. It's not something that you just get to say. You can't just say, "I went through Rosh Hashanah." I'm mamlechah kol shemarachu in my life. Literally, less than two hours ago I was talking to a person. I'm not going to share any of the details. But a person who was In one of the worst case scenarios that a person could possibly be in And this person said to me. Again, I don't want to give any of the details, but medically they just found out that something very bad could be happening to them. This is how the person said it to me. This was less than two hours ago.

4:24 This person said it's the cherry on top. What I'm dealing with right now is the cherry on top. And then she told me the medical situation that she was in. I think you have it confused. That's the ice cream sundae. Everything else is the cherry on top. But looking at her life over the last year, she was like It doesn't even make any sense. All the things there, and what she said? She said "Help me find the Muna." And I'm like, "How about we just give you permission to fall apart for a second before you find the Muna? It's okay just to fall apart. It's so hard. " But that bikush of like I want to find the Muna in this moment where I feel so distant from Hashem. When you're young, nothing's real. When you're 15 years old and you're going to school every day, and the biggest thing you have to worry about is How will I get past the sneer police?

5:13 How can I get to Nugatim without them seeing me? I'm not saying anything real. I'm just saying, if you know what I'm saying, I'm not saying. I'm just saying. How can I? It's not real. That's not being Mamlechah Kadosh Baruch Hu. That's just like I'm trying to avoid life. But to come into this moment of your life, at this stage in your life, at this age in your life, and befrat in this time in Klaliyusro, we can't be Mamlechah Kadosh Baruch Hu the way we always have been. And if we do, it's a tremendous chesaron in our avodas Hashem, and it's a tremendous loss of opportunity. These years, everyone's growth is on steroids. Even if you're barely paying attention, everyone's growth is on steroids. I remember in yeshiva. I know we have a number of young women here whose fathers teach in yeshiva. I'm sure it was the same thing in those yeshivas also.

6:03 And you tell your father that I stopped myself from making a racial joke. You could tell him I stopped myself from making a racial. The Rosh Hashanah is tomorrow, so I'm trying to behave myself a little bit. I remember those boys that went home after October 7th. There was a lot of parents who were nervous after October 7th. People didn't know what was going to be. I'm sorry, Elul Shem. I also stopped making a racial joke for you. So the boys went home. The parents were nervous. Baruch Hashem, our yeshiva. Most boys didn't go home. And then there was like they trickled back in November, December. The yeshivas all had the same reaction. The boys that stayed The growth was so exponential. The growth was so fast, more than you would ever expect. By the time the boys came back in November and December, they came back to a different yeshiva. It was a different yeshiva.

6:56 For us living in Eretz Yisrael in these times, the growth has been so much. The sensitivity that we have is so different than the sensitivity. Five, six, seven years old. We're not the same people. We can't be the same people. Shalom. How can we be mamlechah kadosh baruch hu befrat this year? So I want to share with you an idea. I think it's a very important idea. It's a real idea. It's not a fake idea. It's a real idea, and it's something that we have to take very seriously. The pasuk by Rashi Shana. It hides the real truth of Rashi Shana. When you learn the gemaras, when you learn the mamary chazal about what Rashi Shana is about, when you go through the Rashi Shana ma'aser. What is Rosh Hashanah? It's Yom Hadin. That's serious business. Every single person is passing by. Hakadosh Baruch Hu on an individual level. Every one of us is being judged. What's going to be with our year? Not just individually, but also as a nation. The drama of Rosh Hashanah, Aseres Yimei Tuvah, the final Chasima on Yom Kippur, is very real.

7:55 And yet the Torah says almost nothing about it. If you look at the pasuk, what does the pasuk say? Zichron Shua. That's the only thing we hear about Rosh Hashanah. Zikra and Shuv. What does that even mean? We don't even know what that means. And then we find out that it's the day that the entire world was created. And it's like, why doesn't the Torah tell us what's happening? If by every other Yom Tov we get a whole story, Pesach is a whole story. What happens? Shavuos we know what happened. Rosh Hashanah is a very ambiguous day. We don't know what happened. We leave it to Chazal to tell us what happened. What's the pshat? It's almost like the Torah is telling us there's something hidden here. Not only that But Ma'aseh Bereshis itself is also a very small, almost a blip in the story of Chumash.

8:45 Ma'aseh Bereshis is like a minute. Think about how many psukim you learned on how the Mishkan was created. How many hundreds of psukim? The story of the creation of the Mishkan—it's massive. Maseberesius is like a minute. We really don't know what happened. In fact, Chazal tell us it's not so obvious to study Maseberesius. What actually happened? It's almost like a mystery within a mystery. The mystery of Rosh Hashanah we don't know. The pasuk just calls it Zehran Shua. What do we find out happened on that day? The ultimate mystery. The ultimate mystery happened on that day that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world. How Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world we have no idea. How we went from Ein Sof. To something tangible in this world, how does it work? Nobody knows how that works. So there's a concealment within a concealment, and if you look in all the Mamari Chazal around Rosh Hashanah, everything has to do with Hester Panim. The Gemara in Beitzah 16a.

9:49 See, not only your father can quote all the Shas; I can also quote Shas. I just happen to have it written in front of me. Your father doesn't have anything written in front of him. The Gemara in Beitzah sixteen eight says, "Tiku b'chayde shofar b'kessol yom chagenu." What's the yontif of kisui? What's the yontif of hiddenness? So the Gemara says, "There's only one yontif that hides Rosh Chodesh because every other yontif comes out in the middle of the month." What's the month that hides Rosh Chodesh? The month that hides Rosh Chodesh is Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah hides Rosh Chodesh. We don't say Hallel on Rosh Hashanah. It's almost like Rosh Chodesh Tishrei doesn't exist. Chazal say we're not even mevarich the Chodesh. It says in a funny way because we want to hide Rosh Hashanah from the Satan so he shouldn't know. It's always a funny thing. What does that mean? I'm tricking. Maybe the Satan has been doing this. I could see.

10:35 There's a girl here. I'm not going to say which one. I might be related to her, but not my own direct daughters. She has a brother who's super cynical. He likes to question anything I say. If I ever say something to him, he's like, let me tell you why it's probably not true. The story you're saying. I'm not saying which person here. I'm just saying it happens to be. I love Chaim Shlomo very much. I'm not saying who. People tell him I said that because you should not. And now any time I tell a story, I have Chaim Shlomo in my head going. You got to prove that story is true. Unless there's video evidence. It's like a funny thing. The Satan doesn't know year after year that we're going to do the same thing. There's a certain element of like we hide Rosh Hashanah. Rosh Hashanah is the yamtuf of hiddenness. It hides Rosh Chodesh. We hide it from the Satan.

11:21 There's so many mamarei chazal. Everything has to do with the fact that Rashi Shammai said. What's the pshat here? I want to share with you. I want to share with you a story that I heard from my rebbe. From Reb Moshe Weinberger Shlita. How many of you have heard of Reb Weinberger? Weinberger is a very big rov in Woodmere. And when I was younger, when I was post yeshiva, I used to have when we lived in Farakway. So Weinberger was like my oxygen tank. It was like the place that you go to. It's hard. It's not like Eretz Yisrael. You could just go to the hotel. It's go to Kibbutz Rachel. It's not like the It's not the same Avir in America. Some of you were just in America for the summer. It's not the same in America as it is here. So I would go to a Weinberger. He was my oxygen tank. I want to share with you a ma'aseh that I heard from the Weinberger, and it's a beautiful ma'aseh.

12:09 In my life, I've seen two great tragedies. Most recently, October seventh But October seventh was really the second great tragedy that I saw in my life. I was in yeshiva, not yet married, on September eleventh. It was a day that I can't possibly describe to you. Nine eleven. They don't know who September eleventh is. I have to translate for the Israeli crowd. Nine eleven. September is the ninth. You figure it out. In the morning, when we were in Seder So it happened very early in the morning. Seder was just about to start. The first plane crashed, and we didn't yet know if it was terrorism. And then a short while later, the second plane crashed, and we knew it was terrorism. It was the craziest day. From the top of my yeshiva's building in Queens. It was a beautiful day. The sky was completely blue.

13:14 From the top of the building, you were able to see into New York City, and you saw clear blue on this side and clear blue on this side, and you just saw smoke in this one place. It was the craziest thing. F-16s were flying overhead. We were right near JFK Airport. And the F-16s were flying overhead because they managed planes, like we didn't know which planes were coming crashing down. A plane crashed into the Pentagon, which is the choshav building in America. It was mamish like the craziest stories. We didn't know what was going on. They shut down all the highways. They shut down all the highways. I was in Queens. I was teaching at the time in a yeshiva called Darche Torah in Farakway. And I called up the principal. His name is Mr. Altbe, and I said, "Like Richie, there's no way I'm going to get in. It's not Shaykh that closed down. They closed down the Van Wyck. How am I possibly going to get from Queens to Farakway?" He said, "Please start driving now. I know it's going to take you hours. I need teachers. I'm not teachers."

14:09 Imagine what it's like running a school. Thousands of kids, no buses. No bus. How are we going to get these kids home? It was the craziest day. I sat in traffic for hours until I made it in. I was teaching special ed kids at the time. Kids were freaking out. F-16s were flying overhead. Kids didn't know if their parents worked in the city. It was a crazy day. And then." A couple of weeks later Have one of my closest friends in the world. His name is Yitzi Haver. So we finish mishmar. It's like one o'clock in the morning, two o'clock in the morning. Come back to the dero And my friend Yitzi says to me, he goes I'm up. What do you want to do? So I said, "How about we go to sleep?" It's one o'clock in the morning. Let's just go to sleep. We go prashacher the next day. Let's go to sleep.

14:58 And he said, "He's like, nah, let's do something. I'm in the mood to do something." And he's like this—he's like a person who's got like a motor. People like this—people who just like stay in my house till three o'clock in the morning. Just like a motor. I don't want to stop. I said, "What do you want to do?" He said, "Let's go to Ground Zero." Let's go to Ground Zero. Let's go see it. So I said, "I want to see it." I want to see the fires burn for weeks. You're talking about the mass, the biggest buildings in New York came crashing down. It took literally months for them to remove all of the rubble. I don't want to get into any of the graphic details. The fires burned because it was all underneath. Everything was trapped. The fires were burning for weeks.

15:38 People would come, like here in Israel, where they have the construction sites, so they don't want the charedi kids climbing the cranes. Don't you ever see that in your shul? Where eight-year-old kids are seven stories up in these cranes. With no fear for their own life, I don't know what's going on in the water that those kids drink. I'm talking about Uncle Simcha's kids. What's going on in these kids' lives if they see a crane. It's a good idea. They should climb up that. So they cut holes, right? They cut holes in the so people can see through. So it was so dangerous. The fires were still burning. They didn't want anyone coming up to the fence. They set up bleachers. They set up bleachers. So it's two o'clock in the morning. So it's like mamish bleachers like by the Hasidim they set up like mamish bleachers like that And went two o'clock in the morning and there was no because who's coming at two o'clock in the morning nobody's coming two o'clock in the morning went and I couldn't stay for so long I'd never seen anything like this in my life it was weeks later and the fires were still burning the single greatest tragedy I had ever seen in my life up until that point there was nothing that even came close.

16:42 Lo aleinu, you see, like a car crash, Chas v'Shalom, a tragedy happens. What's a big tragedy? A big tragedy is a house was on fire, and lo aleinu, children were hurt. This was something like I had never seen in my entire life. Rav Weinberger tells the story that one of his talmidim also had this idea to go down And at the time he went down and came out right away. I stayed a couple of weeks afterwards. This particular talmid went down right away. He couldn't wait, and at the time it was also zoned off. How he got in was like a whole mizer, like one of these Katsala guys who had like a free pass, how they get around things. So he went to the site. You can imagine the scene. And the rubble is there, and the rubble was piled. I'm talking about the biggest buildings in New York City. The rubble was piled enormously high.

17:34 And he went down and he screamed at the top of his lungs, Hamelach. He came back to Rav Weinberger and he said, "I have no idea why I did that." I had to let it out. I had to let out this primal scream, Hamelach. That moment for that yid It could be that moment again. I don't know what this guy went through in his life that he knew. Hamelech is something that we're meant to say not over all of the good things in our life. Hamelech is something we have to say over the lowest elements of our life, over the things that involve the most pain, the most tsar, the most brokenness. A person has to learn how to say Hamelech over all of their disappointments, over all of this person. This person tonight. How do I say Hamelech if I just got a report that maybe I have cancer?

18:32 How do I say Hamelach? How do I bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into those elements of my life? Yiddin have done this for thousands of years. We're not the first people to have it. In our lifetime, it was October seventh. We're not the first people to say Hamelach. People said Hamelach in the Crusades. People said Hamelach in the Holocaust. And people said Hamelach in Mitzrayim. People have been saying Hamelach for thousands of years of anti-Semitism. If it's not normal the things that a Yid goes through, but a Yid goes through these things. In order to say Hamelach over the lowest moments of your life It's easy to say Hamelach when everything is going well. I'm at my chasna Hamelach. I'm having children. Baruch Hashem Hamelach. Everything is going well. That's not the avodah. The avodah. That's easy work. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to build for Him a diro betachtonim. He wants to be brought into the lowest elements of our life. There is no lower element in this world than the senseless suffering of everything that we live through.

19:27 There's three levels. Tami Deramchal says there's mitzvos, tshuva, and yisurin. Rashi teivos matay. There's mitzvos, tshuva, and yisurin. When will Mashiach come, Masai? When will Mashiach come? When we bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into our mitzvos, that's already hard. That's already a hard thing to say. I'm going to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into my mitzvah. How many of us are doing mitzvos without thinking about Hakadosh Baruch Hu at all? Sometimes I wonder, are we serving ourselves or are we serving Hashem? That's one madriga. It's not the hardest madriga. Then there's another madriga. Can I bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into my averus? That's already a deeper madrigal. But the highest madriga in the world is Can I bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into my yusuran? Can I scream Hamelach when everything in my life is going wrong? I mentioned my friend Yitzi before, the guy who took me to Ground Zero on 9/11.

20:18 Anyone who knows him knows that he's like the deepest of the deep. He's a special Jew. It's his story to tell. It's not my story to tell. But it's a known thing. He went through unbelievably difficult things in his life. Unbelievably difficult things. If anybody knows him, you know him from the Five Towns. Is he not an exceptionally special person? Yes. He is the most besimcha person you'll ever meet. You should know he lost his leg to cancer when he was 13 years old. At his own bar mitzvah, he didn't have a leg. Edda has a leg amputated, not really because of cancer, but because of cancer-related complications. He lost his mother when he was a young married man. He lost his father not so long after that. The sorrows that he has been through Most people in a lifetime will never go through what he went through.

21:07 On H dot com, they wrote an article about him. They wrote an article about him on H dot com. I think you could look it up. And I remember the beginning of the article said. Yitzi Haver is the type of person you want to get stuck in an elevator with. Because he's the most yishmak person in the world. He literally dances for a living. He has one leg and dances for a living. That's the ultimate hamelach. The ultimate hamelach is with all of the yisurin that the boy has suffered in his life. He keeps saying But I'm so besimcha. Kol Yisbaruch is with me in my life. And it's not emuna that you read about in a story. It's not emuna that you like. It's a real human being who every day wakes up and he's the most besimcha person in the entire world. He's mamish. So besimcha. What's the shot? Because he knows how to say Hamelach over the most painful elements.

21:59 I was talking to a chaver Interesting, interesting guy, old friend of mine. We went to elementary school together. We were in high school together. We were roommates in Yeshiva Neretz Yisrael. 45 years old, he decided I'm going to the Israeli army. That's an interesting thing to do. He says I want to be a service. This is his way of serving Hashem. So this is what he decided to do. So tonight he called me just to say k'siv chesima ta'iva. I was on the phone with him. And he was saying to me, and I think it's again a very beautiful thing. He said the impact that's not yet being spoken about. Is you have all these young men. Obviously, he's not a lochem. He's not fighting. Forty-five years old. He's an overweight man like myself. He's not exactly like nobody wants him in Gaza City doing whatever he's doing. But he's running around. He built a mikveh.

22:51 The last two weeks, he built a mikveh in Gaza. Chabad went and built a mikveh in Gaza. That's like the most Chabad thing ever. Next thing, they're going to be putting tefillin on the Palestinians over there. But like to build a mikveh in Gaza. And he was telling me that was amazing. Maisim. He's telling me these amazing stories Yidden that are keeping Shabbos for the first time, like unbelievable stuff that he's seeing. He told me this crazy thing. He said we don't yet know the impact on society. Of all the soldiers that lived, that live, that are fine But because of an IED in the road when they were walking, they no longer have a leg and they no longer have an arm. Or the psychological things that they're not going to recover from for many years, and the wives of those people. You don't chop what's coming. We're not paying attention, but we can't pay attention to what the world is going to look like in five or ten years from now. I was talking to another Talmud of mine, a young married guy with young kids. He said, 'Rabbi, you don't understand the toll this is taking on marriages. Do you understand the toll it's taking on marriages?'

23:54 Then it was you. My own daughter already said that. That's Kotmar. I understand. You're empowered not to pick it up. He was saying to me, he's like, it's not a normal thing that I'm going through. My wife doesn't have me at home for weeks at a time. I come back home, my wife says, "Good, here's the kids. You take them." I've been holding the kids by myself for weeks. That makes sense, right? He's like, how do I transition? Out of living in Gaza, fearing for my life at every single minute, just to coming home and being like a normal family man. He's like, the impact on my family. How do I say hamelach to that? How do I say hamelach to that? I'm not here to just talk about them. How do the people in Ramot say hamelach? There was a rebbe in the yeshiva. His wife was literally a block away.

24:45 How do we say hamelach to that? How do I say how do all those families that lost those loved ones say hamelach? And yet, this is what Klal Yisrael does. We say HaMelech to these things. We introduce Hakadosh Baruch Hu always into the lowest element of our lives, and the place where Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mamish hidden, where a person would never be able to have emuna, that's dafka where Klal Yisrael has emuna. And we've been doing that for thousands of years. Now it's our turn. Now it's our turn. You don't realize you've been prepared for this. You were prepared for this your whole life. Everything that your parents taught you, everything that your schools taught you, all of it was not for the good moments. The good moments are going to be great. The secret of the Yid is in my worst, most painful moments, where everything is going wrong. We say Hamelach. Do you remember? Again, now, Klal Yisrael, we figured out how to be divided again because we're brain damaged, and we keep doing the same thing over and over again. But do you remember what it was like October eighth?

25:37 Do you remember the Achdus that we had in Klal Yisrael? Do you remember the Hamelach? I'm sure many of you participated in it. One of my favorite stories from the entire war was when my brother-in-law, who was working in intelligence in the army He told my sister. This is like a real Berg thing. I'm sure it happens in every family. One person tells another, and then it gets passed on. My brother-in-law told my sister, and my sister told my mother, and my mother told me, and I told my daughters. That. The soldiers who were all going out to fight were all getting fed. Do you remember, everyone was sending cookies and cake, which is a funny Jewish thing, right? You're going to Gaza, take some cake with you. I'm not sure what we think is going to happen there, but this guy Benji said nobody's sending us cake because we're in intelligence, so we're working in an office, so nobody's sending anything.

26:26 So he told my sister told my mother told me, I told my daughters. I came home that night. Some of you probably participated. We baked. How much did we bake? The car that we filled up with baked goods was unbelievable. It was amazing. And when we showed up to my parents' house, they were so happy. They were so happy to see how the Charedi community was mamish like Iman Nochi Betsara, and we were so with them. It was such a beautiful time in Klal Yisrael. Why do we do that? We do that Stam because we want to bake things for people. Stam, we like making brownies for soldiers. We did that because we said Hamelach. We said Hakadosh Baruch Hu is present in this moment. How can I show up to be a Balas Kessed in this moment? And we did everything that we could. We didn't know more. How we didn't know how we could do more.

27:12 We did mamish whatever we could And all the Tehillim and all the learning and everything that was going on. It was all because we were just trying to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into those moments. And how sad is it? I don't want to be Motzi LaZankaiyzer, but we have to be real with ourselves. How sad is it that we are so far from October 8th? It's not that we don't have real things to say to each other. There's a lot of things that need to be said on both sides of the aisle. But how is this Hamelach? If we're being honest, is this Hamelach? We're doing if we were really saying Hamelach in these moments, then we would see each other. It doesn't get spoken about enough. Everyone has their hashkafas, and everybody has to say their hashkafas. I'm not saying their hashkafas are wrong. Everyone's hashkafas are important, and everyone's hashkafas need to be developed, and everyone needs to talk about these things with their rebbeim and their teachers and their parents. These are important conversations. But I'll tell you the litmus test: if you want to know if this is for Akol Shmuel, if you want to know there's Hamelach here, it's a very simple litmus test. How do you behave towards another yid?

28:13 That's the litmus test. If you want to know if you're really acting l'shem Shamayim, how do you behave towards another person? Because if you're really l'shem Shamayim, then the way that you're l'shem Shamayim is to say, 'That's the Abanisalom's daughter. That's the Abanisalom's son. How am I going to behave towards that person?' If you find yourself talking badly about another yid, it's not Rakhel Shmuel. That's for whatever krumah hashkafa that person has, that they're justifying, saying it's in the name of Rakhel Shmuel. That's not Hamelach. Hamelach is I have a hashkafa, but that's the Rebbeinu Shlom's daughter, that's the Rebbeinu Shlom's son. So I'm going to talk to that person. I'm going to invite that person in. We're going to have a cup of coffee together. We're going to figure out how to have these conversations. We can't have these conversations not because we can't have these conversations, but we forgot that that's the Ben Melech. That's the tragedy. The tragedy is that we don't know how to talk to each other.

29:00 And on October 8th, we knew how to talk to each other. And if you remember, on October 6th, this country was on the verge of civil war because of the judicial reform issue. It's hard to remember that. I remember we were going to NCSY for that summer. We were going to speak. My family. We were going to a TJJ Shabbat home Which is like public school kids that come to Eretz Israel for the summer And. We were going near Beit Meir, by Shorish, not so far from here. That's a twenty to twenty-five minute drive maximum. It took us. We were starting to think maybe we need to get dropped off in Beit Meir for Shabbos because we weren't going to make it because the Hafganot on Kvishechad were massive and they turned it into Mavishapark. You had to go through one lane and everybody Erev Shabbos had to go through this one lane because these guys were marching on the side. I remember we were sitting in the cab and there was somebody giving out Isis on the side.

29:53 Clarifying the Peshat, get out and get some ices. Summer's sitting there. I may as well take some ices. It was like a funny. The country was on the verge of civil war. On October eighth, it all disappeared. What happened to it? What happened to all those very important conversations? The Teretz is when I'm pushed up against the wall and I say Hamelach. So I'm not worried anymore about these small conversations. And I'm not saying these conversations aren't important. I'm saying, are we really being Mamlechah Kadosh Baruch Hu in this moment? And what does it look like to be Mamlechah Kadosh Baruch Hu now? What's my relationship with the lowest elements of my life, and what's my relationship with other yidden? With the pain that I'm going through, the pain that I see my neighbor going through? What's my relationship with these things? Can I keep eating my cereal? I can't keep eating my cereal if I'm a melech. They say I'm Eisah, and I'm confident that this Eisah is true. I heard it from somebody who was a close talmuder shach.

30:46 They say I'm Eisah that there was a helicopter that went down. Carrying four Israeli soldiers in the nineties, it went down. Four Israeli soldiers were killed. They say that Roshach was inconsolable. Four Yidden died. He was inconsolable. He was maimed broken from it. What happened to that? What happened to that? What happened to the gadol hadar who was as charedi could be? There was nobody more charedi than Roshach. What happened to us hearing the stories of how the gadolim were broken from the suffering of Yidden? I'm sure many of you heard that Rechaim Kniezki, son-in-law of Kalodetsky, has not slept on a bed since October 7th. He sleeps on a wooden board. That's the way he's mamlech this moment. He's saying, if Yidden are b'tzar, I'm also b'tzar. That's the way it has to be. That's what it means to bring our Kodesh Baruch Hu into this moment.

31:40 I just heard today. I was very surprised to hear this. Estamid. Not a rabbi, not a. I wouldn't even call him a learnage, but certainly a real yid. A guy in Staten Island has not slept on Friday night since October seventh. He was. I won't sleep on Friday night. I can't waste a Friday night. He stays up. He's learning all Friday night. He's doing whatever he can do. He said that's his avoda. Rabbi bender from darche, my Rosh shiva. He said, "There's a boy who, since October seventh, he came to me. Said, Rebbe, I was makablan myself after October seventh. I don't eat candy. It's like a little eight-year-old boy. How sweet is that?" He says, 'A yid is a yid. If there's another yid that's suffering, Hamelach. I call Shabbos Baruch Hu is in this moment. What are we doing? Are we letting this moment just pass us by? Nacha moment that's passing us by.

32:33 When's the first time that we see a kisui? When's the first time that we see a covering in all of Chumash? First time is by Rivka. First time is by Rivka. That's why by your weddings you're gonna have a bedekin, and they're gonna put a veil over your face. Some of you are gonna get a real chassidish veil. It's called a decktechel. Something that's like a mamish cloth, and you're not gonna be able to see through to your chasson. And some of you get like a litvish veil that you could see through. But everyone's gonna be covered. According to certain rishonim, it could even be that that's part of the marriage itself. Your salavitchik was makhbid. That there should be aidim on the bedekin, you should have two witnesses to see the bedekin, because even the putting of the veil on the kallah is part of the process. What's the pshat?

33:19 Stom, that's you understand kasef, you understand shtar. It's a whole procession. The putting down of the veil. What's that whole inyan about? The whole idea of putting a veil on the kallah is this relationship involves times where we won't see each other. I'm marrying all of you. I'm marrying the good moments. I'm marrying the bad moments. I'm marrying the moments where, as mamishaster panim, where I can't see your face and you can't see mine. That's what it means to be in a relationship. To be in a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu means there will be times where we push it and cannot see Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And it's our responsibility to say, in the moments where I can't see Hakadosh Baruch Hu, I'm going to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And didn't do that. He didn't do that. I'm saying that we're struggling to do it right now, but that's only because Once again, we got complacent, and everyone chose sides.

34:16 But that's really what we do. That that's like That's how we survived after the Holocaust. How do you think they survived? A bunch of people who were tortured in unimaginable ways washed up on the shores of Israel and America. All the institutions that your parents went to, all the institutions that you went to here in Eretz Yisrael, they didn't just appear out of nowhere. Today they're palaces. When I was growing up, they were still trailers. You'll see, you'll tell your kids, yeah, we also were in trailers, and in Beis Yaakov Arama were in trailers. By the time your kids get around, Beis Yaakov Arama is going to be a palace. It'll probably be in remote Tzayin at that point, but it's going to be a palace. These things happen slowly. How did they do that? How was it that a group of Holocaust survivors came, and they came to this country, they came to that country, and wherever they went, they said we're building unbelievable ma'asdasatayin, unbelievable ma'asdasatkeset?

35:09 I don't know if you realize this, but in the Ga'ishu world, they don't have hatzalah. They call 911, and it takes forever for them to get there. They don't have hatzalah. In the Gausha world, if you have a kid who lo alenu has special needs, they don't have hask, they don't have ohel, they don't have the institutions that we have. If you get chassid shalom, the person gets cancer. A yid's first phone call is to Chai Lifeline. If you're in America, you get stuck on the side of the road, you call chaverim. Some chassidish guy comes and he fixes your car for you on the side of the road, and it doesn't matter where you are. There's no institutional chessed. You don't have food for Shabbos. Come on Shabbos. There's nothing. Just in this neighborhood, think about how many Chesed institutions we have in this neighborhood. Everywhere you turn, there's Chesed. We have two Atzalas, right? We don't even know which Atzalah to call. It's a fight between the two Atzalas. Which Atzalah should we call?

36:00 We have Chesed coming out. How do we build this? Because somebody saw that there was Yidden who it wasn't going to be fast enough for us to call 911 or to call Madras. Let's start Atzalah. That's Hamelach. We went into the places of the biggest pain and we said, 'We'll bring our kedush baruch hu into those places.' In the times where we can't see our kedush baruch hu, we said, 'You're here anyway.' One of my favorite lines in the entire world is from the kedushas leviv from Rebbe Levi Yitzchok Mibidchut. He said, "I'm playing hide and seek with God, and I'm finding Him everywhere." Dafke in the places where I can't find the Rebbe Nachman, that's exactly where I'm finding the Rebbe Nachman. And how many of us, even on a personal level Have moments that we're going through—moments of doubt, moments of frustration, moments of... A feeling like I don't know where I am like ev ani ba olam. How did I end up in this place?

36:49 How many of us have moments, and maybe not just moments, maybe sometimes weeks or months or maybe even years at a time where we feel totally disconnected? How many times does shachrus happen and it happens like that and it's over before I even remember that it happened? Margolius has a line I like this line very much. He says, the first time you have to pay attention in davening by the shir shal yom because you have to think about what day it is. Most of us should probably make a tikkun asherut in the middle of Shemone Esrei. We were thousands of miles away. It's amazing that we're in the middle of Shemone Esrei. You ever wake up at the end of Shemone Esrei, taking three steps back, and go, "Did I say anything just now?" It's a real thing. So we go through periods. Maybe there are things I know I should be doing but I'm not doing. How many of us go through these all the time? It's normal. It's human. It's what every one of us goes through. How many of us are going through these things all the time? How many of us can honestly say, "I'm passionate about my life."

37:41 I'm passionate about my Yiddishkeit. I'm looking to really build the home of Torah. How many of us can say Kiheim Chayinu Varecheminu? Probably a lot of us want to. There are moments when we're doing better, but there are a lot of times when we're doing worse. It's not because we're bad people. It's because there's Esther Ponim in the world. The avoda is when a person gets stuck in a place where nothing is going right. They have to learn how to say Amelach in those daf in those times. I see it all the time in yeshiva. You see it all the time in yeshiva. You always see that the boys that are going through something Those boys are going to be the best. Because when they learn to say HaMelech, when they learn to find Hakadosh Baruch Hu in their pain, it's only up. It's only up from there. Sometimes you have to be brought to the lowest imaginable place in order to be able to say HaMelech.

38:32 So that's why the pasuk hides from us. The pasuk says, 'I'm going to tell you there's a thing called Rosh Hashanah, but you're going to have to search for it.' You're going to have to find out through all the Mamaria Chazal. I'm not telling you. The Torah says I'm not telling you. Our Kodesh Bracha says I'm not telling you. You want Rosh Hashanah? You gotta look for Rosh Hashanah. You have to find me in Rosh Hashanah. So the Torah tells us Zichron Shua. What does it mean? Go find it. Go find Hamelach in those moments, because otherwise Otherwise it's not Rosh Hashanah. Everything on Rosh Hashanah is hidden. It hides Rosh Chodesh. We don't bench. I'm gonna fool the Sata. Nobody's fooling the Sata. The Sata knows very well. But I'm gonna act like the Rebbeinu Shalom acts. Kiilu, like everything is hidden, that's sneias. By the way, you know the second time in the Torah that we see this notion of a veil It's by Tamar. It's not an accident. Who were the two people that had twins?

39:20 Tamar and Rivka both had twins. Why? When there's covering and there's searching, the bracha is doubled. The bracha is doubled when there's covering and there's searching. The bracha is doubled. That's really the whole idea of sneias. The whole idea of sneias is not buttons. The whole Indian of sneezes is not sneezes police. The whole Indian of sneezes is not even clothing. The whole Indian of sneezes is I'm like I'm a modest person. Like if you want to find out who I am, you have to search. But I don't just put myself on display for people. Sneezes by men and by women. It's not people make a thing that sneezes. Sneezes not by women. Sneezes by people. I'm a careful person with the way that I talk. And you don't know who I am, and I'm not on display for everybody to know every little detail of my life. There are people like that. You meet them; they're mysterious in a certain way. There's something that attracts us when we meet a mysterious person because we don't know anything about them. In Yiddish, it's called shdiler hate. They're quiet. They're careful.

40:16 That's a beautiful thing. And when you meet those people, you're like there's something there. I want to learn a little bit more about it. Happens to be I've been working with Rav Isaacs and the Rosh Hashanah of Asar. This is our 18th year that I'm working together with him. Most people don't know him. He's very quiet. He's very modest. He's very hidden. I've been working with him for eighteen years, and I can just start to say that I finally know who he is. But it takes a very long time. Some people you meet them, you know everything about them right away. There's no mystery there. It's a very shallow person. A deep person says, "I'm not telling you anything about myself. If you want to know me, you'll be in a real relationship with me. You'll learn it slowly." That's the real meaning of a relationship. There's something to search for. I'll finish. I'll share with you one maysa. By chesidah shemaisa, it doesn't matter if it happened.

41:04 Chesidah shemaisa is true even if it never happens. I'll tell you chesidah shemaisa. And I heard this from Rav Weinberger, and I think it's a beautiful maisa. It was a big tzaddik whose name was Rav Matel Chernobler. You tell your brother the story never happened, but it happened. It's true. It's a big tzaddik. His name was Rav Matel Chernobler. In the town of Rav Matel Chernobler, there was a very big gvir, a very wealthy man who had a tremendous mansion. A beautiful, beautiful house. And beautiful rugs, a very ornate floor. And tons. His house was mamish, a home of chesed. Everybody would come to his house. Everybody would come to the gvir's house. But the gvir had one rule. I hope none of you have this rule in your house. I don't mean to offend anybody if you do have this rule, but you shouldn't have this rule. The gvir had a rule in his house.

41:51 If you come into the house, you have to take off your shoes, especially in those times. To whom do I offend? It's not true. There's no way that's true in your house. I know. I know your father. There's no way that's true. Your father's telling everybody to put on more shoes and bring in all the mud. I know your father. Your father's a big tzaddik. He's just kidding. Most people don't realize what a tzaddik your father is. I know what a tzaddik your father is. Listen, he has to tolerate a girl like you. He's a patient man for sure. What happens if he's a big tzaddik? He does a lot of chesed that nobody knows about. So this gavir had a thing. If you come into the house, you have to take off your shoes. It's an annoying thing to have to take off your shoes. But the minute tons of people came One time there was a knock on the door. The gavir goes to open the door. It's R' Matel Shnabler himself. The Shnabler came to the house. He said, "Rabbi, please come in." And the rabbi came in, and he didn't take off his. Not going to make the rabbi take off his shoes.

42:49 The rabbi sat down with him and he said Said to the gavir, "We'll call me Yankel." Said, "Yankel, I want to tell you a story." He said there was a person who was a real rasha, done tremendous averus Tremendous Averus in his life. One time, he wasn't a well person. He was a real rasha. He really was not part of the community. He had done terrible things. We don't need to talk about all the averus this guy did. He did tons of averus. There was a family traveling on their wagon with the horses. The horses got stuck in the sand and the mud. It was a very dangerous situation. And they weren't going to be able to move on, and it was very cold out. In those days, to get stuck in the mud was a very dangerous situation. Not like today, you just go in the car and your wheel broke, so you'll wait around until Chaveirim comes.

43:37 This was like Mamish Sakanos Nefashos. This Russia saw, So he came and he did whatever he could. He Mamish pulled the kol karei to get the wagon out of the mud, and he saved his family. But because he was so unwell That night he passed away. He didn't have the capacity to live with the exertion and the work that he just did. So he died. He went to Shamayim. And they looked at all his affairs, and the affairs were massive. So they said, "you're going to not such a good place now." So a Malach came and he said, 'Wait a second. He just saved this family's life. That has to count for something.' So on the other side, they put this family, but it did not come close to saving this guy's life. This is a story that R' Matzl Chana was telling. This kavir He said. So they were about to send them. He said, "Sorry, he doesn't have enough.

44:31 So the Malach came and he said, 'No, one second.' He didn't just save this family. Think about the Da'irei Da'iras. How many people are going to come from this family? So they put all the Da'irei Da'iras on the other side. But the Averos were so massive. All of the Averos that this guy had done in his life, all the suffering that he caused people, it still wasn't enough. They were still just short. And then the Malach came and he said. You forgot to add one thing. All of the mud that he sat in, that he got filthy taking that wagon out of the mud. You have to add that to the side. So all the malachim said enough, ready. Bishleim, you want to say he saved this family? That's one thing. You want to say he saved the family, the derei deres? That's okay. We could still get that. But you're adding on the mud. Come on, it's not shayach.

45:18 So this malach, this melech yosher for this Russia, said I'll tell you what. Let's send them back down into the world And let's see if he values mud. So then we'll put the mud on that side of the scale. But if he doesn't value mud, then we can't put the mud on that side of the scale. Matzochimavro set them. He said, "You should know, you're that guy." That's your neshama. You're that guy who saved that family. You were that Rasha in a previous Gilgal. And all of that mud that you won't allow to be tracked through your house. That's the mud that's not being weighed to that side of the scale. Now I don't know if what Rav Mottel Chernobyl was telling that person in that moment. I don't even know if the story is true, but the story is true anyway. There are Yidden that know how to appreciate mud.

46:06 There are Yidden that know that when the world gets dirty, I know how to clean the world. I know how to appreciate that dirt. I know to appreciate the covering. There's some Yidden that the Mamish don't know how to do it. All of us who in these moments are looking at all the filth and everything in the world and we're saying "Tachk, it's very dirty. It's very dirty. But the mud is here for a reason. There's a kisui. There's something going on that's covering our floors, and it's lomayim and all the things that are happening. But there's erbanisholm here. We value the mud. We value the mud. After 120, we can come to our kollel shabbos and say we did a lot of averes. We did a lot of things that we should. We spoke lashon hara and lots of things that we're not proud of. But we'll be able to say to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When the mud started flying and it was all over our homes, I said Hamelach.

46:55 I value the mud. Put the mud on my side of the scale. There's some people that they just don't, they can't handle it. They can't handle the mud. They can't handle the dirt. They don't know everything has to be clean. Everything has to be perfect. They don't know how to struggle. They don't know how to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into their struggle. Everything. There are people in this world. Everything needs to be fixed. Everything needs to be okay. Some people know how to appreciate the struggle. Some people know how to appreciate the fall. It's not a simple thing to say Hamelach this year. When it comes time for davening, I'm sure everyone's going to be davening on Rosh Hashanah morning. When it comes time for davening this year, it can't be the same Hamelach as it was five years ago. It can't be the same Hamelach as it was ten years ago. We have to ask ourselves a real question. We're big now. We're not little. It's not that we're 14 and 15 years old anymore. We're big.

47:41 So we're on the verge. For some of us, on the verge of shidduchim. It's real. Life is real. What am I? What am I doing here? What am I doing in this moment in time? Am I really? Am I really saying? Some of us are clucking our tongues. Some of us are getting filthy. Some of us are willing to say Where's the Rebbe? How do I find the Rebbe Shlomir? How is this changing me? How will my year be different this year? That's Hamelach. That's a melech. That's a real melech. And so yes, when the chazan gets up and says melech, and when we hear that ki yitrua, when we hear Hakadosh Baruch Hu, like that shofar is going off, and we're saying this is the moment of coronation. Think about the lowest elements in your life. Think about all the bugs. Think about all the dirt, all the mud, all the places of low, like all the places of hester panim.

48:32 And say Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you're there. I can't see you. I know you're there. I'm playing hide and go seek with God, and I'm finding him everywhere. Because Hashem, if we do that So then there's a revelation of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. There can only be a giluy ponim if there's a hester ponim. There can only be Hakadosh Baruch Hu revealing Himself with Mashiach Tzidkenu if we're willing to go through all the hard times. I think Mamish, we're on the verge. I think anybody who's paying attention could see it. We already knew from the times of the Chavetz Chaim. The Chavetz Chaim said we were already in the midst of the Mashiach. Chavetz Chaim said we were Mamish there. Sadekim have told us already, it's happening. Even in the times of the Balatania wrote that we were in the midst of the Mashiach. We're in the last stages. It's hard. By the way, for some tzaddikim they say we don't even know why Mashiach's not here. We've done so much I guess there's a little bit left to do. So beis Hashem, we say Hamelach and Hakadosh Baruch Hu Yom. Aksiv chesim atayven a good gevend shir.