Masei - The Distance Is The Journey

1:51 That's the mashal that Rashi brings to explain why the Torah goes through all of the forty-two stages of our journey from Mitzrayim to Eretz Yisrael. However, when Chazal give you a mashal, first of all, the mashal has to make sense, and second of all, the mashal has to teach you something that otherwise you wouldn't have known. Let's start with that second question. What does this Mushul tell us that otherwise we wouldn't have known? The Torah recounts all of the various journeys. The Mushul is what? The Mushul is like a father who's on his way back from healing his son, counts all of the journeys. Does anyone know exactly what the Mushul is adding? It's not obvious what the Mushul is adding.

2:41 So the first question that we have to explore tonight is what precisely is the mashal teaching us? That's number one. Number two, the mashal has some holes in it. If you start to think, and by the way, you should—whenever you're learning any word of Taira, think very, very deeply about each single word. Every single word is precious and holds pearls beyond your wildest dreams. This mashal—it's a little bit difficult to understand. It's a king, so it didn't need to be a king, right? If you were telling the story, it could have been that a regular guy and his son were going to take his son to a faraway place to get healed. Obviously, the king is referring to who here? The king is referring to Hashem. Why? Because in the Torah, Kadosh Baruch Hu is recounting all of the journeys that we had. So this is clearly about Kadosh Baruch Hu taking Klal Yisrael. That we know.

3:38 Chaver, why does the king have to take his son to a faraway place to get healed? Marshall doesn't tell us. In my mind, if I'm a king and my son is sick, where do I take him to be healed? To the doctor that's in the market. There's something here in this Marshall that's lacking. Why does the king need to take his son to a faraway land? You might say because there were no doctors that could heal him in the kingdom. Why not? What happened to those doctors? What was this illness that it couldn't be cured by a simple remedy? The answer is clear: the problem is not with the remedy but with the patient. The Mashal doesn't tell us. Rabbi Tanhumah doesn't tell us. But there's something there that begs for explanation. And then the Mashal also fails to tell us why the king is sitting there recounting on their way back. I do this with my family. I don't know if you do. Maybe you guys are too young to do this.

4:33 When me and my brothers and my sister, when we get together, we talk about old vacations. You ever do that with your family, where you just sit there and recount all the old things? Remember over here, remember over there. If any of you have ever been to Anset, Massachusetts, I imagine none of you have ever been to Anset, Massachusetts. Anset is in Cape Cod. My family, we used to go there every single summer. We used to go to Cape Cod. On the way to Cape Cod, they had a Fry Hoffer's outlet. You guys probably don't know what Fry Hoffer's is. But Fryhoffers owns Entenmann's donuts, and Entenmann's donuts you could buy three for five dollars in the Fryhoffers outlet back in the 90s. And my parents would give us each five dollars, and we would each go in and buy three boxes of donuts. By the way, that is the plural of boxes. Three boxes of donuts of Entenmann's donuts. That was the donuts that we had for our trip. So every time we talk about Cape Cod, Massachusetts, we always talk about.

5:28 Remember when we stopped in the Fry Harvers Outlet? Remember when we went to Water Wiz? Remember the sandcastle building contest? All the different Irish kites that we had? Why do we do that? Because we're reminiscing, but we're not just reminiscing. The Torah is not just reminiscing. The Torah is not just telling us to know that these are the forty-two journeys that went on. There's obviously a deep message here, right? The Hakadosh Baruch Hu is coming and saying, "Here you were sick, you were tired. We needed to sit down." Here you had a cold. Here you had a headache. Why is the Torah recounting all the bad things that happened? What's going on in this passage? I want to share with you a very deep idea. I think it answers a question that I think many of us, including myself, I'm happy to acknowledge that I struggle with this also. And the question is one of our fundamental identity: Who are we? Who are we? We're all struggling on some level with this question: Who are we?

6:26 I'll explain what I mean. The neshama in Shamayim. What does the neshama, if the neshama could speak in Shamayim before it comes down into this world in a goof, what's the neshama's experience of itself? It's like the same thing as saying the ray of the sun, when it's in the sun, it's the sun. Like at what point does a ray of light become an independent entity? At what point does a neshama become a neshama that it can say about itself, "I"? Right. That's not a simple thing. In Shamayim, the neshama is so close to Hashem that, in a certain way, it has an illness. What's the illness that the neshama has? It has no sense of identity. A good way of thinking about this is like Adam and Chava. When Adam was created, you know that Chava was created back to back with him. You guys know this.

7:24 And then what did Hakadosh Baruch Hu do? Hakadosh Baruch Hu split them, and then he said, 'Now v'ha'yul lebasar echad. Now go get married.' So there's an obvious question. A minute ago we were together. Why did you split us and take us away from each other just to bring us back to each other? That makes no sense. We were very close before. We were like one. We were in the same place. And now we're separate. And you know, I think that's why when they say 'go get married,' it's because you have to be separate first. We were really one before, and now we're these two separate things. And you want us to become one? We're not one. Elamai, how do we explain this in a deep way? Chaver, if you're back to back with your spouse, if you're so closely identified, who's the other that you're married to her? When Adam and Chava are actually one, in a certain sense, they're not really one. They're so close that they can never choose to be together. What do you need? If you want Adam and Chava to be in a real relationship, what do you need to do first? First, you need to separate them.

8:19 The big Torah of all of Yiddishkeit, and this is going to answer a million questions that we all have. The distance that we have from Hashem in this world—it's not a bug; it's a feature. The only way that you can truly enter into a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu is if you're distant from Hashem. So, what does a neshama need to do? A neshama needs to leave Hashem, so to speak. Come down into this world. Come down into a body. Feel alien. Feel distant. Feel tayva. Do things that it's not proud of, right? And from that distance, what does it now have the opportunity to do? To choose to participate in a relationship. Once the neshama has an identity that's in some way distinct, obviously connected to, but just like a ray of the sun is always connected to the sun.

9:11 But we need, in a certain way, to move away in order to move close. What do we call this in Chassidus? Yerida letzairech aliyah. Sometimes you need to go far away in order to come close. Why is this so important for us? I want to be very honest with you. I often think this to myself. Just show hands. How many of you are summer after tenth grade? How many of you are summer after eleventh grade? Wow, Baruch Hashem, that benefits a lot of shanah bet kain yirbu. Unbelievable. I want to say the following thing. I've studied this. I think this is deeply true. Do you remember in eighth grade when you made promises to yourself about what you were going to do in high school? Do you remember that moment you're leaving eighth grade? Maybe you had lines in your head that you said, 'I'm never going to do this.'

10:06 But you remember the first time that you did a certain avera, whatever it is, any avera. But a certain avera, the first time that you crossed that line, that you said to yourself, "I'm never going to cross." Do you remember the feeling that you had after you did that avera? That feeling of like I'm very distant from Hashem in this moment. The feeling of like it's it's going to be impossible for me to do tshuva, or what if I started doing the avera that I promised myself I was never going to do, and now I don't know how to get out of it, and I'm in a cycle of avera goreras avera. The biggest aside that we need to teach young men and young women today is distance is what happens before the relationship. If you're in a place where you've fallen, if you're in a place where you're doing something that's not living up to your highest standard, that's not like now I should fall apart because I've fallen so low. That's an invitation to be great. That's an invitation to bridge the gap.

11:03 It's the difference between playing ball by yourself, shooting around. Right? That's a very low level of basketball. Because what's the diff? Like, what's so difficult about playing basketball when it's just you against the against nobody? It's. But say there, maybe you're not that good. So you miss a couple of times. You hit a couple of times. Then you play one. Maybe you play one with a guy that's better than you. So the difficulty is elevated, right? But still not the hardest thing in the world to go one. Then you start playing five on five. Five on five pickup is not nearly as hard as five on five league games, and five on five league games are not nearly as hard as when you've reached the pinnacle of your high school lives, and maybe you make your basketball team and your zaycha to play yeshiva league basketball, or it's little brother that's actually not so talented yeshiva league hockey. But the but you know what I'm talking.

11:58 I'm sorry for the. How many? I just want to know how many people from TABC that I just event. But say there. Good. You play for Mo? Yeah. Good. So you know exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. But if by some miracle you've managed to make fresh basketball, DRS basketball, you've reached the pinnacle of your high school career. Right, and maybe you played in the great Sarichek, right? Imagine if somebody got up there and they started complaining, ugh, like all these guys playing defense. You know, it's not a problem. It's just that we have to be careful with our language. We have to be respectful of the players. You don't complain about the defenders. That's the most ridiculous thing in the world. The reason the game is great is because somebody's playing defense. It's the distance that gives you the opportunity for greatness. The distance on the floor, the gap between me and the basket, and there's defenders in the way. There's obstacles in the way that are stopping me from getting there. That's what makes the game great. And the more you believe in yourself to actually hit that shot.

12:55 And to play that game, you look for the defense. You want the defense. You don't want to play little tikes basketball against your five year old cousin. And if you do, that means you're probably not that good at basketball. If you are looking forward to like dunking on your five, like you know those like you ever see those like videos of kids like posterizing their little brothers in their basements on a little tikes, like they slow mo and like 360 dunk it on that, and then the kid has like a concussion. Has to be rushed to the hospital because he's five, and he's got like the trauma now of like I was a reel on Instagram that went viral of some kid who's dunking on me. I have a little bit of a trigger around this. You noticed. There, there's like nobody wants to play little tykes basketball if you're good at basketball. Many years ago, I was learning with a guy who was known that in this is when I was still living in America. He was known as like the best player in yeshiva league.

13:52 And he quit after tenth grade, and everybody on his team was half there. Everybody on his team was like, "If you play, we're going to win the championship." And he refused to play, and all of his friends came to me. They're like, "Berg, you know, you have to convince him to play." And I was like, "I don't convince him to play. I don't have a dog in this fight. I don't care if he plays Israeli league basketball or not." Like, no, Reb, you understand, we could have won the championship. I mean, it's not that hard to do. We just need to keep doing what we're doing. I asked him, "Why don't you play?" He's like, "Because it's—not fun. It's not fun to dominate." And I was like. A little bit. It's like massive guyva. But aside from that, it's like I get it. I remember once we were playing basketball. It's the first time I ever heard this trash talk. Like, because you want to be like, I was younger at the time. I could still play some ball. So you want to be like a little bit relevant. So we went on the court one night. Like finished our shabbus a little bit early, and he was standing like on the left side of the foul line, and he looks at me and he goes, Rabbi, what comes after L? And I was like, M. He goes, No, Bo. And he just knocks down an elbow jumper right in my face. The guy had unbelievable trash talk.

14:50 Used to play in like the Knicks summer camps. He was a really good basketball player. It's not fun to play if there's no defense. It's not fun to play if there's no distance. It's not. It's not. I'm gonna tell you a secret. Relationships are meaningful because they're difficult. That's what makes a great relationship. When you have a fight with your friend and now there's a gap between you and you have to have that hard conversation that says like. Let's figure out how to bridge the gap between us. That's what tells you the relationship is valuable. You sit down to learn a blockamara. The blockamara, you open it up. What are we learning this summer? Menachos. Stam. We're gonna open up the blockamara. You don't know how to translate it. You don't know how to punctuate it. You don't know how to vowelize it. You never learned Tanach. You never learned Mishnayos. You never learned.

15:40 Half the brisotzes and toseftot that are being quoted, so you're missing the background information. Even if you can read the entire Gemara and you could read every word perfectly, there's gaping holes. It's not always clear exactly what the Gemara means. So the Rishonim come to fix this. Combine short, choppy sentences into fluid sentences. The Rishonim come to fill in those holes. You're not necessarily trained how to understand the Rishon. Even if you are, you're not necessarily trained in brisker lamedus of how to analyze everything. So there's six major problems with this text. Then the seventh problem is of course relevancy, and that's what most people jump to because they're like, 'What's it got to do with my life?' The reason they jump to that is because nobody wants to do something that's hard. I remember when I was in sixth grade; I hated basketball in sixth grade. Why? Because you know, when you have to heave the ball up to the net with all your might and it barely grazes the net on the bottom, it's not geshmack to play something that you're not good at. But then you start to get a little older and you realize.

16:34 That's everything in life. There's always going to be a gap between what I'm good at and what I want to be good at. That's how you get good at anything. Let's go back to Rashi's mashal. It's a very profound mashal. Here's Kalal Yisrael. At the end of forty years in the midbar, why did we have to do this? Why did we have to have this long journey? Why is this whole descent down into this world? Because that's what the Balshamto says. The Balshemtoh says that all 42 journeys that Klal Yisrael takes in the Midbar, every single Jew travels these 42 journeys in their life. Everyone goes through these 42 journeys of being a soul in Shamayim until you finish the end of your life. Everybody goes through it. Why?

17:14 Why am I on this journey? Why am I so distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Why didn't I stay up in Shamayim? Why do I have to contend with my tayvas? Why do I have to do teshuvah? Rebbe, I'm sitting here and I'm summer after 10th grade, and even though I've chosen to come to the Kol Nidrei service, which is an amazing way to spend your summer, I'm going to sit and I'm going to stay, and I'm using my summer to grow, and I'm going to be exposed to amazing maguchim and amazing rebbeim, world class Rashi yeshiva. I have so many opportunities in front of me, but why am I even here? I don't want to be any. I don't want to have to deal with all the Irish kid that I'm dealing with, and we all know what I'm talking about. Everybody in their own way, has their own unique struggles. Everybody here knows what I'm talking about. Rabbi, really, this is what I have to be doing with my life. Why can't I just be perfect? I want to be the Michael Jordan of Judaism. I just want to get it. I want to know everything. I want to be awesome at this.

18:01 If you want to be healed, what's the illness? The illness is that in Shamayim you had no identity yet. There was no work to be done. Everything is clear. That's not fun. That's little types basketball. It's not cool for a Malach to do what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants. A Malach does what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants because it's obvious to a Malach. It's not hard for a Malach to be a Mal'ach. Listen, if I knew as clear as day that avera was bad for me, I also wouldn't do the avera. But I don't know that it's clear as day for me because I live down in this world. That's what makes it impressive. That's the game. The illness is in Shamayim. So what does Hakadosh Baruch Hu do? He says you have to go far away to be healed. If you really want to be in a relationship with me, you're going to have to go far away. And now here we are at the end, on the precipice of coming into Eretz Yisrael. You know what Hakadosh Baruch Hu does?

18:52 He says, let's look back not at the good times. Let's look back at all the hard times. Here's where you were exhausted and you had to sit down. Here's where you had a cold. Here's where you had a headache. This is where life wasn't going well. You know what the Rebbeinu Shlomo is saying to you? Those were the moments when we could feel most alive. It's not your moments of greatness when you're just doing it and it's easy and it's awesome. It's the moments when it's difficult. One of my favorite stories ever. Rishon Shlomo Shadran. You guys know where Rishon Shadran was? Rishon Shlomo was the great Maggid of Yerushalayim. Rishon Shlomo had a night kollel. There was a kid in the night kollel who used to come to learn with one of the Avreichim. He used to come to learn with one of the kollel guys. He stopped showing up, so Rishon Shlomo went to his house and he knocked on the door. And the kid opened the door. He was so embarrassed that the Maggid of Yerushalayim, the great gadol Rishon Shlomo, was there. He said, "Rebbe, what are you doing here?" He goes, "You haven't been coming to the kollel. I wanted to make sure everything's okay." He says, "Oh, Rebbe, everything's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll be back next week."

19:48 He said, "Where were you?" The boy goes, " Rabbi, I don't want to admit it. Don't worry about it. I'll be back next week." Rishon says, "No, it's. Where were you?" The boy goes, "I was watching soccer. I was watching soccer. It's like the playoffs. I was watching soccer." So Rishon Shalom looks at him and he goes, "What soccer? Don't make me explain to you what soccer is, Rabbi. Don't worry about it. It's a game." He goes, "No. Explain to me." He goes, "Okay. There's a there's a there's a goal and there's a ball and you have to kick the ball into the goal." So Rosh Hashanah says to him, and that's fun. He goes, it's very fun. So he goes, so let's go kick the balls into the goals right now. So goes and the boy goes, no, Rebbe, it's it's fun when there's people that are there to block you, and then you have to like go around them and get the ball into the goal. So Rosh Hashanah looks at me, goes, is anyone there right now? So the boy goes, it's like ten o'clock at night, nobody's there. He goes, perfect, let's go kick the balls into the goals. There's nobody there. There's not a Rebbe you don't understand. There's only a certain amount of time that you play the game in.

20:45 Within that time, when those players are there, that's when it's geshmak. So R' Shalom smiled and he goes exactly. A person has a certain amount of time in this world, and there's defenders that are on the field. What's geshmak is to rise above. What's geshmak is to use those moments when those things weren't going well and to say that's where my relationship is. So on the way back, at the very end, what do we look back on our lives and say? It wasn't the moments of ease or comfort that made us who we are. It was the challenges, the struggles, the obstacles that shaped us into the people we've become. It was the moments of challenge. It was the opportunities to rise above. That's what makes us great. And here's the punchline of the mashal. The Rebbeinu Shlom doesn't say that's where you sat. That's where you were cold. What does the Rebbeinu Shlom say? That's where we sat. That's where we were cold. That's what the mashal says. The Rebbeinu Shlom says, I was with you in those moments.

21:38 And that's the chaval. The chaval is that when we're so low, we think to ourselves, the Rebbeinu Sholom is so far from us. It's just the opposite. Rabbi Sigh, where does the Hakadosh Baruch Hu declare Beni bechayri Yisrael? Where does Hashem say, 'You are my firstborn children'? You know where He says it? In the chapter of Exodus, chapter four, verse 22. When Klal Yisrael is in Egypt, and they are in the mud, when Klal Yisrael is in the dirt, when we're in our lowest place, you know what Hashem says? That's my kid. That's my kid out on the field. That's my firstborn son. That's the one that I unconditionally love. That I'm always with. A yid has to know our lowest moments. The Rebbeinu Sholom is mamish right there with us. Yeratzim of Ne'avinu Shabbat Shamayim. This summer is not about perfection. We daven and pray that this summer shouldn't be. Now I'm perfect because I left NCSY Kollel. Doesn't go that way, right? You could leave NCSY Kollel inspired. What's the year like?

22:30 You talk about what's the year like? Ups and downs, like every other year, right? Ups and downs, like every other year. It's not easy. It's not perfect, But what's the avodah? The avodah is I learn that the Rebbeinu Sholom is with me no matter what. That the moments of struggle are my moments of greatness. And if I failed, just get back up again. Do it again and again. Forty-two journeys until we finally reach Eretz Yisrael. Rabbi, say have a beautiful, wonderful, and amazing first Shabbos here in NCSY Kollel. I'm looking forward to being with you here for Shabbos.