Shemini - Jealousy, Resentment, Story Telling and Fear

2:06 What is the Seir Leiz and what is the He goat that Klal Yisrael is bringing? What Avirah is that for? What would you assume? Also for the Chet Aigal. But if that's the case, we're now back to our original question. Arna Cohen brings what for the chet eigel? He brings an eigel ben bacher. What would you bring in order to be mechaper for the chet eigel? It makes sense that you would bring an eigel. Klal Yisrael, what are they instructed to bring? Not an eigel ben bacher, but a seir leizim, a he goat. So a goat. You guys are familiar with a goat. He goat. So what does the he goat have to do with the egal azov? It's a very simple question. So just to reiterate, make sure everyone understands these two questions. What is the carbon chattus that we're bringing at the beginning of the Mishkan, at the inauguration of the Mishkan, on the eighth day of the inauguration of the Mishkan? This is the final inauguration.

3:03 It seems, for some reason, we haven't fully explained why yet that in order. For Klal Yisrael to inaugurate the Mishkan, they need to know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has forgiven them for the Chet HaEgel. It's like on a very simplistic level. If you're about to move into a home together, what do you need your husband to tell you? What does the wife need to tell the husband? We're starting fresh. Whatever happened, it's in the past. Now let's go build a home together. So it's a very simple explanation. It's not the explanation we're going to use. But ostensibly, Hakadosh Baruch Hu needed to know; he needed Klal Yisrael to know I forgave you. Obviously, we're going to have to do better than that. But on a simplistic level, that works. However, we're still bothered. Aaron Cohen has to bring an egel. Why does Klal Yisrael have to bring a seir leizim?

3:52 For this, we have a medrash. A medrash Tars Cohen tells us as follows: We see this concept of a seir leizim somewhere else in Klal Yisrael's history. Does anybody remember? I doubt the answer is yes. Does anybody remember where beforehand we see a carbon that was brought with a seir leizim? If you get this, I will be very impressed. Oh no, that's a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure. Six work. Wasn't it a goat? It's an excellent thought. But not a seir leizim. You're not gonna get it. Last guess. Remember when they pushed the thing off the cliff, and then one of them was for the basement. There was one of them like. Seir la azazel. That was, and or seir la Hashem. Correct. That is in fact a time. It's not what we're looking for. That is in fact all I'm saying. It's correct that it's a seir leizim or a seir la Hashem or seir la azazel, but that is not a seir leizim. I will tell you where we see it.

4:54 The Medrash points us. To a very old story, one that goes back not to the beginning of Baruches, but to the middle of Baruches. Vayikchu es ksones Yosef. They took the k'sonas pasim. They took that coat, that special coat that Yosef had. You were going to get that. I bet that was your second guess. It was right there. I have faith in you. Ani mamim b'munashlim. That was your second guess. I knew it. I just didn't say it. That's why I told my teachers. That's what I told my teachers all the time. They took the k'sonas of Yosef, and they slaughtered a he goat. And they dipped the k'sonas pasim in the blood. What's the connection between these two karbanos? What the Torah says. Why did Klal Yisrael have to bring a seir la'azim more than Aaron and Cohen did, who brought an egel ben bakar?

5:57 So it goes as follows: Moshe said to them You have on your hands from the beginning And you have on your hands from the end. At the beginning it says, 'Va'yishchetu seir izim,' and at the end it says, 'And they made for themselves a golden calf, an egal azav.' This is what the Medrash says. We're going to have to decrypt this. Aaron only had the making of the Egel Azov. He didn't have the original Vayishketu Assyirism. He didn't have the original Karbon that the brothers brought. This is a very strange thing we think about because Aaronic coin comes from what shevet. Very good, Levi. Was Levi involved in the sale of Yosef? Very much involved in the sale of Yosef. In fact, who was it that saw Yosef coming from afar? It was none other than Shimon and Levi. So for sure, Levi was involved in the sale of Yosef.

7:00 So if Klal Yisrael is sitting here, imagine the scene. Klal Yisrael is sitting here. It's the inauguration of the Mishkan. It's the very beginning of the Mishkan. You with me? Welcome back. Thank you. Wasn't just that section of the room. It's also that section of the room. That section of the room went like this. Thank you very much. This section of the room, not yet, but we're hoping to get to. But this section of the room, not aware that I went like this yet. So we'll see if they actually remember. So far so good. Welcome back. So it goes as follows. Here we are at the very inauguration of the Mishkan. Thank you. Now I can say welcome back. Here we are at the inauguration of the Mishkan. And Klal Yisrael has to do tshuva for what? For the average Mechiras Yosef, how unexpected was that? I understand that we had to do tshuva for the avera of the Egel Azov. That was recent. That was in their lifetimes.

7:50 Now we're talking about not the avera that we did, not the avera that our grandparents did, but the avera all the way back in the times of Mechiras Yosef. So now, Klal Yisrael had to do tshuva for that avera. Aaron a Cohen, ostensibly as the grandchild of Levi. The great-grandchild, the great-great-grandchild, also should have to do tshuva like everybody else. What in the world does it mean that Klal Yisrael has to do tshuva over the avera of Mechiras Yosef? But Aaron and Cohen doesn't? That's very strange. Why doesn't Aaron and Cohen have to do tshuva for it? That's question number one. And question number two is the Mezrich makes it clear that one thing led to another. That because they sold Yosef HaTzaddik. That's how they ended up at the Egal Azov. That to us ought to seem very strange. I personally am a little creeped out by that. What does that mean?

8:49 My great grandparents did an avera all the way back in Europe. What's that got to do with me? I have to do tshuva for that avera. I have to do tshuva for my averas. My grandparents have to do tshuva for their averas. Am I? That's really anxiety provoking, no? I have to do tshuva for all the generations. Obviously, it means something deeper. Let's wait to see what it means so that we can unpack all these things at once. So I want to talk today about a concept that I think we don't speak about enough because it doesn't sound like an exciting topic to speak about. The topic is jealousy, envy. And resentment. Jealousy and envy are not the same thing. For the purposes of today's shir, we're going to split between envy and jealousy. Envy means very simply you have something that I want. Not great Not a great midah. You have something, I want it. Fine, we're going to call that envy.

9:53 Envy, for the purposes of this conversation, which we're not going to be speaking much about, is a two-person emotion. It involves you and me. You have something, I want something. Jealousy, however, is not a two-person emotion. Jealousy is a three-person emotion. So if envy means that we want something that another person has What jealousy means is we're afraid of losing a relationship or a part of a relationship that we already have. So if I'm in a relationship with someone. And now somebody else comes in. Now you see that triangle. Somebody else comes in. Why am I jealous? Because I don't know what's going to be with my relationship with that person now that this third person has entered into the conversation. Maybe my relationship is going to change. Maybe I'm going to lose it altogether. You girls know that, Bez Hashem, when you have children.

10:57 Relax. There were different times where it's like a chorus of Amines, but some girls there were quick on the draw. That was Bez Hashem, when you have Amin, it was very quick on the draw. Amin, it's going to be okay. Bez Hashem, it's all going to be okay. When you have children, you'll do the following. When you have your first kid Fine, that kid gets a lot of attention. When you have your second child, you know what starts to happen. The first child gets jealous. Because the first child says "I wonder now what's going to be my relationship with my parents. And it's fascinating to see how little kids have this unmentalized jealousy. How they behave. For example, I have Baruch Hashem five daughters. And they're all wonderful. And when our third daughter was born, my wife would be holding her and she would start screaming out of nowhere.

12:06 And my wife would look down, and there was my second daughter, who is a tremendous balas mitos and Baruch Hashem has grown up a long way since then. She was only two years old at the time. She would bite this kid's toes when my wife was holding her. It's like all of a sudden my wife's holding the kid, and all of a sudden she hears a scream. And she'd see my little second daughter was like sitting there, gnarling at the toes of my daughter. And she's like, no biting, you know, and it's like a funny thing that you have to tell somebody no biting. Now why is a two year old biting another child? Because she's jealous because there's a child there. So what do we do when we bring home a baby from the hospital and we have other little babies? We bring home gifts and we tell those little kids.

12:52 Look what the baby brought you. And the hopes—it's very smart. Thank God, my wife told me that's what we do. It's a very smart thing to do. It teaches the child you are loved by this child. This child is not a threat to you. And when you have new children, the older children will actually require, in some ways, more of your time because the newer children may require just physical presence. But those other children still need to be attended to. They're jealous. That happens at a very young age. If you notice the story that we just told That jealousy came with a context. That jealousy came with a story. What was the story that my two-year-old daughter was telling herself when her little sister was born? The story was Mommy doesn't love me as much anymore. She's paying attention to the baby now. You understand? So jealousy Because there's a story that we're telling ourselves, which is something is going to interrupt my relationship.

14:00 What occurs now from that jealousy? There's a resentment that we hold in the relationship. I'm resentful of that new child that just came into the relationship and took my mommy away from me. I'm resentful of my mommy. Who's now spending all the time with this child? Resentment is like drinking poison water and hoping the other person dies. It quenches your thirst when you drink that resentment, but ultimately it poisons your system. So if you ever meet people that are holding resentment, you'll notice that when they drink resentment, they drink it like it's refreshing cold water on a scorching hot day in Tanya. Just trying to figure out who went to Netanya over the last couple of days. The Tel Aviv, I was close. It's been beautiful outside. My wife says you girls are a bunch of sun worshippers. She says, why do they know the SBF? Is that UV?

15:04 Today was nine. Congratulations. The I hope your Avi Dizara serves you well. The she says like all day. Like I walk outside and the girls are just like. Just be careful you don't bow down. It's for shidduchim purposes. It's for shidduchim purposes, sure. I love that you said that out loud. So it goes like this: when we drink resentment, you'll notice that people always tell a story, right? And they tell. Have you ever seen people with resentment holding on to a lot of self righteousness? Like when they tell the story about how this other person did whatever this other person did Whoever this other person showed up, it's like they're so self-righteous when they say it. It's almost like you could see them ingesting the deliciousness of this water. The problem with that water is that it's corrosive. It'll make you feel good for a minute.

16:02 But in the end, it's impossible to stay in a relationship with someone you're holding resentment against. Eventually, that resentment will build up. And eventually, it will create the separation in you that will ultimately lead to the destruction of the relationship. So resentment eventually turns into I hate you. It takes a long time to get there sometimes, but eventually it turns into that, and that's the death of any relationship. So if you follow the story, it goes like this: jealousy, as opposed to envy Is a three-person relationship. It means I'm afraid of losing you or a valued part of our relationship because of another person. The context, the story behind jealousy, belongs to you. Just because another person entered into a relationship with this person doesn't mean your relationship is going to go away. But once you're holding on to that story, what's that context going to do? That context creates resentment. Resentment ultimately results in the destruction of the relationship.

17:11 Let's go back to the story of Yosef HaTzaddik for a second. Let's look at it now with fresh adult eyes through the lens of Chazal. What happened? You're adults now. It's not just as simple as Yaakov loved Yosef, and therefore the brothers wanted to get rid of him. He brought them a he brought Yosef a special coat. And the brothers were what? They were just average Joes. These were big tzaddikim we're speaking about. They're like, off with his head! We got to kill him. It's a very sophisticated psychological state that Chazal described to us. There was a relationship. These children had a relationship with their father, and what was the story they were telling themselves? The story I imagine went something like this: Everyone knows that Yaakov's favorite was Rachel. Imagine that If you're a child of another mother And you know that for whatever level this means, you know that Yaakov didn't love your mother as much as he loved a different wife.

18:17 That's probably a painful story. And you're the child of the other wife. And after many years, finally that wife gives birth to a child, and you see the way your father looks at this child. That's pretty special, no? That's a big deal. And you could see it not only in the way that he looks at him; you could see it in his actions. He's given him over his k'sonas pasim, and I think, as we spoke about earlier this year, the k'sonas pasim represented the continuation of Yaakov's mission for this world. Yaakov's mission for this world, the part that he had taken over from Esav, was to bring Hashem down into the world. The other Shvatim wanted to elevate and go up to Hashem. Yaakov gave Yosef the portion of going down into the world and bringing Hashem down into the world. This was a major threat to the brothers. The Shvatim, the way they looked at Yosef, was they said because Yosef exists, we will lose our relationship with our father.

19:18 And in order for there to be a mesora, we need to have a relationship with our father. Therefore They said we have to kill him. And they devised this plan, and they took off his coat, and they dipped it in the seir leizem, and they handed it to Yaakov. That's the story. Now that story, eventually we know what happened. Eventually they met Yosef Hatsadik back in Mitsrayim, and Yosef Aodavichai. Girls, at the end of Yosef, at the end of Yaakov's life, what were the shvatim afraid of? Anybody remember? That's right. Now that Yaakov is no longer in the picture, what's Yosef going to do? He's going to exact his revenge. He's just been waiting for the right time. What does that tell you about the state of the Shlachim? It tells you that even though Yosef had done everything he possibly could to draw them close, they were still living with what?

20:14 The story that ultimately got in the way of their relationship with their father And even though it appears that Yosef has forgiven them, in truth Yosef hasn't forgiven them. So there remained a state of disunity in Klal Yisrael. Does that go away just because the Shvatim died? Girls, I want to tell you something: the stories that we tell matter. The stories that we tell matter, especially as parents. Because we parent through the lens of our stories. Think about it just for a second. Think about the stories you've been told by your parents. What were the stories you were told? You don't have to say them out loud, but I guarantee you that if you start to think about it, you'll realize that the stories that your parents told you were built from their own stories, from the narratives that were passed down to them. For example.

21:15 If a child grows up in the home of a father who no longer speaks to his brother What do you think the stories that the child is going to tell when she becomes a mother? The stories might be Do not ever fight with your siblings. Of course, what happens when a mother tells her children, "Do not ever fight with her siblings"? What does that fear cause? That fear. Remember, fear always creates fear. The thing that you fear will always create the fear itself. So if you have a mother who grows up telling you, 'Do not fight with your siblings,' you know what you're going to end up doing? Fighting with your siblings. And then the stories that you're going to tell your children are going to be, 'Not good to fight with your siblings. I fought with my siblings. It didn't work. I saw what happened to my mother. Don't fight with your siblings.' And so we pass down stories. Girls, we're on the heels of Pesach, right? That's literally what Klal Yisrael does. We are the nation of storytellers.

22:12 Every year we pass down our stories. What if your story is born of trauma? What if your story is born of jealousy and resentment? What do you think happened by the Shvatim? The Shvatim may have passed away, but do you think that the children of those Shvatim forgot the stories that their parents told them? Imagine what it was like. You grew up and you had cousins, and you got together. When do families get together? Hanukkah. So imagine, I imagine they got together in Mitzrayim. It was Hanukkah time. All the cousins got together, and maybe somebody whispered. Maybe one of the aunts whispered to one of the nephews or nieces and said,"Listen, I see that you're out there playing with Levi's kids. I'm just telling you Back in the day. Levi sold your grandfather. It may not have been as overt as that. But I imagine that these kids growing up to these various shvatim, they were literally tribal. They stuck together with their families.

23:18 And so maybe that story got passed down The story of don't trust your brothers. How far did it get passed down? Listen to what the Medrash tells us, and this is based on the explanation of the Kli Yakar. It's a wild explanation, but it's a gorgeous explanation. Now you're at Harsinai. Moshe Rabbeinu goes up to the mountain Very quietly, maybe not even in a way that Klal Yisrael realized. A couple of chavrusa started telling a story. Why should Moshe Rabbeinu get to receive the Torah? Why is he any better than any of us? Do you see the mistrust that exists? We'll call these chevra. The kli Yakar refers to them as Korach and his minions. Korach va'adoso. We'll see in Parshas Korach what happens. They actually took that argument and said it out loud. The kli Yakar argues that argument was already present at the time of Har Sinai.

24:17 So when Moshe Rabbeinu went up to the mountain, they started whispering, "Why should Moshe Rabbeinu get the Torah?" You see the jealousy. The jealousy of generations had been passed down literally until the point of Arsi'ni, and now Moshe Rabbeinu goes up to the mountain for forty days and forty nights. And he doesn't come down on the time frame that they think he should come down on. So what do they do? They say, "great." No Moshe Rabbeinu now. Now we'll make an egal azov. Nobody is better than anybody else. Do you see how the story is thematically exactly the same? The same jealousy that existed between Yosef and his brothers—that I can't have the same relationship with my father because now Yosef's in the picture. The Shvatim literally said by Arsenei, I can't have the same relationship with Hashem because Moshe's in the picture. See how the three-person jealousy is operative there? The story is, Moshe Rabbeinu is getting in the way. He's taking away from our relationship with Hashem. Shouldn't every single Jew receive the Torah directly? Why do we need to receive the Torah through Moshe Rabbeinu? So once Moshe Rabbeinu was out of the picture, not because they killed him off, but because he went up to Shamayim, so they said, 'Good, now he's out.'

25:35 So now let's make an egal azov. Of course, Moshe Rabbeinu went down. Eventually, they needed to get that to a state of actual mutiny. That's what happens in Parshas Korach. Now let's reexamine the role of Aaron Cohen. Everybody in Klal Yisrael needed to do tshuva, except for one person. Every single person in Klal Yisrael told themselves a story that went against Moshe Rabenu, except for one person. Who was that? And isn't that ironic? Because if you look at the entire Torah All of Bereshis is filled with what? Sibling rivalry Right? For a long peace. But let's go through it for us before we get there. Yitzchak Yisrael Yaakov Esav Yosef Shvatah. What's the next sibling story that we have in the Torah? Moshe and Aaron. And all of a sudden, things change completely. When Moshe Rabbeinu is coming back, Aaron Cohen goes to greet him in the desert.

26:40 Aaron Cohen goes with him as a second in command to be the interpreter of Moshe Rabbeinu to Paro, not to take his place. Do you see how Aaron Akoyne? It's more than just he loves peace. Aaron Akoyne, of course, loved all of Klal Yisrael. We know that Aaron Akoyne didn't really want to make the Egel Azov. He only made the Egel Azov because he knew that if he didn't make the Egel Azov and they killed him, it could be that Klal Yisrael wouldn't be able to do tshuva. We're not going to get into why that is right now, but that's the reason that Aaron Akoyne made the Egel Azov. But he did it from a deep place of love. Not only did he love every single Jew specifically. Who was the hardest person in the world for Aaron to go into love? Moshe. This is the person that quite literally took his place. He was the older brother. As opposed to Yitzchak and Yishmael. Remember, why did Yishmael not get along with Yitzchak? Because Yitzchak took his place. He was the unloved son.

27:34 Yaakov Esav is the loved son by Yitzchak. But not by Rivka. And what does Yaakov do? He gets in the way of that relationship. Yosef gets in the way of the relationship between the Shvatim and Yaakov. Every single story in Bereishis is built on jealousy. But in Shmos, we're introduced to the first siblings that celebrated each other. The first siblings that actually not only were not against each other, but where Arna Cohen gave up willingly his position to Moshe Rabbeinu to be the leader of Klal Yisrael. That's an incredible thing. So Aaron Cohen didn't have to atone for the sin of Mechiras Yosef. That's not what led him to do the Cheta Egel. He had to bring a Kapara for the Cheta Egel. How does he do that? He brings an Egel Bembacher. Klal Yisrael girls had to do Tshuva not for the Cheta Egel.

28:27 Klal Yisrael had to do Tshuva for Mechiras Yosef because if you attack the symptoms of the disease, you haven't cured the disease itself. You know There are some doctors that say that if you're asymptomatic, you're cured. But is that true? No. If you have a disease where you can fight the symptoms of the disease with medicine That's great. But that's not a cure. A cure means you don't have the disease anymore. That's the difference between Western medicine and Eastern medicine. Western medicine attacks the symptoms. You have strep throat. Good. Now we'll take penicillin. You won't have strep throat anymore. Your throat will feel fine, but it doesn't prevent you from getting strep throat. Real medicine, at its core, is designed. This is the medicine of Shlomoh HaMelech. Real medicine at its core is to heal you from the root up. So what does real tshuva look like? Real tshuva looks like here we are. This is the avera, but let's not treat the avera. Let's wonder where this avera came from.

29:35 So here we are And we'll see why in a moment. This is important. We're at the inauguration of the Mishkan, and it's important for Klal Yisrael to know Chet Ha'egel is over. So what do they have to do tshuva for? Not for the Chet Ha'egel, that was a symptom. But for Mechiras Yosef. So they bring a Seir Le'izim, just like the brothers brought a Seir Le'izim all those years ago. And they dipped the k'sones in that blood and brought it to Yaakov Avinu. The Klal Yisrael has to realize now: if we're going to atone for the chet a egel, we can't just say, "Oops, we made a chet a egel." We have to be able to look at ourselves. Realize the story that we told about each other. How Moshe Rabbeinu was getting in the way of our relationship with Hashem, just like all those years ago, our great grandparents thought that Yosef was going to interrupt their relationship with Yaakov.

30:27 And we have to realize that story was fed to us in our mother's milk. It was passed down generation to generation until now. And now we are excising this story from our narrative. It's the only way that we can enter into a relationship with Hashem. So there's a big secret A secret that we all know, but for some reason we don't live. And it's a very simple secret. The secret is as follows: Parents hate when children fight. That's the thing that makes a parent feel uncomfortable in their own home. Nothing drives. I'm part of the parents' club. I could be upstairs on the third floor. And if I hear my daughters fighting with each other, I can't exactly describe to you what it's like. But there's a place in my spine, right here at the top of my spine, and it constricts, and my fists naturally go like this, and I go, "Can you stop?"

31:26 Those are the words. Please, I'm begging you. I promise you that whatever you're fighting about is not worth it. We as parents love all of our children so much. There is nothing that a parent wants more than to see their children get along. And when our children don't, we do not feel at home. The nature of the mishkan is the place where we encounter God. And the way that God encounters us is as His children. Therefore, when children fight There is no home for God to be a part of. At the very inception, at the very inauguration of the mishkan, what's the first thing that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says? You're not allowed in here. Until you stop fighting The very existence of the Mishkan is predicated on Achdus. No Achdus, no Mishkan. And we know that what happened all those years later in the Beis Hamikdash. What was the reason for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash? The Beis Hamikdash was only gone for a couple of years after we did Gilai Arayas Shvichas Dam and Avodah Zarah.

32:30 But it's been thousands of years since the second Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of Sinas Chinam. Because you could atone for murder. You could atone for gilei arais. You could atone for idolatry. But in order to actually rebuild the beis hamikdash, you need to love each other. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, it's the inauguration. It's Yom Hashmini. This is the day. You want to step foot into the beis hamikdash. You want to step foot into the mishkan. The very first thing you need to do is recognize you're still being over the sale of Yosef. You're still doing it. How do you know? You're still telling yourselves the story that you're not enough, and if they're here, your relationship is going to fall apart. I want to share with you something. I don't know if you heard it or not. There's a pretty well-known rebbe in Mevaser. He's mashgiach of Mevaser. His name is Rabbi Glanz. I think he came here and he spoke to you.

33:26 So Rabbi Glanz released a song two days ago. And I believe that it has over 20,000 views on YouTube in the last two days. And if you listen to it, it's as the boys tell me, Rebbe, it's a banger. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I think it means it's good. Many people post as well. Yes. And the song is a gorgeous song of Arachtos. And if you look in the comments section on YouTube Baruch Hashem, 95% of the comments are positive. There are a couple of comments, silly and ridiculous comments. Actus is very important. So how come there's no women in this video? Actus is very important But Lamaisa, it's not gonna happen because the Charedi world doesn't want actus to happen. And it's like You're commenting. First of all, you're commenting on YouTube. That already requires a team of psychiatrists to understand what would compel somebody to say they need to comment on a video on YouTube.

34:37 If it's anything other than an emoji It does not. I don't even think that should be commented. But if it's anything other than, if you have a political statement to make about the achdus of Klal Yisrael, and you think your forum is on a comment section on YouTube I don't know what to tell you. But you and I are not living the same life. But if that comment is on a video about achdus. Laying the blame at Achdus for somebody else Which is the very antithesis of the video and the song that Rabbi Glanz put out That's nuts. And to Rabbi Glanz's credit, he actually responded. I'm not going to read to you the whole thing But if you go look, if you have the capacity and you look it up, you'll see what he commented. And he basically said to this person that commented.

35:31 He said, "the whole point of this video was that you can disagree with me" But that we still love each other because we're still family. And the fact that we don't get that after thousands of years We are, as they say, insane. You know what the definition of insanity is? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It's been thousands of years. When will we get the message? Do you girls remember what it was like on October sixth? When everyone in this country was fighting about judicial reform, and every summer they were talking on the verge of civil war, and then October seventh happened, and all of a sudden there were no more Charedim, and there were no more Dati Lumi, and there was no more Chardal, and there was no more Chiloni. All there was Jews, and everybody stood against each other. Because we know what happens whenever we're fighting. Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, "Bring a Siyerliism."

36:22 You're going to keep fighting until you rectify the chet. Of Mechiras Yosef, you're doing the same thing over and over again. And you keep living from this place of fear and these stories and these narratives that only lead to resentment, which create this or result in this jealousy, and then the nation is torn apart. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, 'Fine, I'll send you a shliach to remind you that you're all Jews.' So he sends on October seventh. And October eighth, everybody's good. But then it comes April And here we are right back to where we started. Back to these artificial shvatim that we've made up of Dati Lumi and Chiloni and Charedi and Charedal and Modern Orthodox and Yeshivish and Hasidish and Litvish—all these different shvatim—with the same old stories. You can't trust this one. You can't trust that one. This one's out to get you. That one's out to get you.

37:15 It's the same old stuff And we know how the story goes. We are only victorious when we are united. It's the only time it works. And when we are divided, look what happens. It's not an accident. Go back and look in the calendar, and the time when there started to become infighting in this country again is the exact time period where world opinion started to shift about Klal Yisrael. And now we're literally sitting in a state of disunity again amongst ourselves, each side blaming the other. And look There was a UN. Vote that there should be a ceasefire, not tied to hostage returns. In Gaza. And America, forget the fact that they didn't vote They didn't they didn't veto it They didn't veto it. They had the opportunity to say no. And America, supposedly our partners in peace for all these years, America, even America doesn't have our backs. You know why? Because the nations of the world respond only to unity within Kla Israel. When Kla Israel is united, they follow suit. They stand united with us. When we're not united, the nations of the world have a job to put us back together.

38:26 So we should get the hint. Because we're going to keep getting these patches until we get the hint. If you want to have a base of mikdash, you have to stop, forget, don't look at the chet ha'egel. Look at the thing that led to the chet ha'egel. So you might say we're not worshiping the egel as of today. That might not be the symptom, but it's the same exact story. It's the same narrative from all those years ago. For those of you who are going home for Pesach, I say this as a gentle mussar. Don't be the girl that comes home and creates any pirud within her family, any sense of disunity. If you grew as a bas yisrael here in Torma Devora, here in Yerushalayim Eretz Kodesh Then when you go home, you should be a force of achdus. A force of achdus means that you're helpful in your family.

39:19 That your sisters don't look at you and go like, 'The from one's back,' you know, that's not helpful. That's not good. The best possible pitch for a girl to come closer to a kaddish baruchu is that when she comes home, she brings her family closer together, not farther apart. And that means that you have an opportunity in your communities, in your families, with your parents, to be a source of achdus. And if people are arguing about silly narishkeit about this community or that community, do not enter the fray. Don't participate in any conversation that's going to lead people farther apart from each other. We do not need to choose sides. We really don't. It's the root of everything that we've done wrong for all these years. We can respect each other without necessarily having the same opinion. But when we operate from fear, if you come home and you're operating from fear Then you will create disunity and disharmony in your families, and that's not what you learned here.

40:25 I hope that if you came closer to Hashem and you're a better davener now than you were eight months ago, I hope that means that you'll speak to your sisters respectfully, non-judgmentally. With compassion and kindness. I hope it means that when your parents are talking to you, you'll listen to what they're telling you. Doesn't necessarily mean that you'll always agree, but that you'll actually respect them as people because you're not operating from a place of fear. Nothing is going to come out and bite you if you listen to something that may not be your own opinion. And by the way, you should listen to your parents. They're wonderful people who have given you everything that you have. But to be a Bas Yisrael means we don't live from fear. We live from a sense of completion and wholeness. We stay out of jealous stories. We stay out of stories that create this unity and disharmony.

41:15 If we see jealousy, instead of blaming the other person, we look within and we say, "What's coming up for me?" In what way am I showing up to this relationship? What fear am I bringing into this relationship that could cause it to fall apart? Wishing you all a chas kasher v'sameach and be'ez Hashem a yom tov v'shalom for you and all of Klal Yisroel.