Kedoshim / Pesach / Sefiras HaOmer - Breaking the Cycle of Exile

2:14 So if you are in a relationship and you do not communicate That relationship is in danger. Think about it on a very elementary level. If you had a plant and you did not water the plant, and the plant is sitting out in the sun, what will happen to the plant? The plant will die. Communication is the water of the plant. If you want your relationship to survive, then when your husband does something that you don't like, you go, "I'll be a good wife. I'll just hate him in my heart" That is a disaster in the relationship. It's not about always being confrontational, and it's not about being aggressively confrontational. Hucheach tochieach asamisecha means speak about what's going on in your heart. Now we'll see how we confront the person. Lo tisa alav chait. Take a look at Rashi. Rashi, the very next Rashi quoted here in source two. What does lo tisa alav chait mean? Lo salvum es panav berabim. Don't embarrass this person berabim.

3:19 What this means is to communicate in an effective way. If you embarrass somebody because they did something to you, do you think that relationship is going to be repaired? No. It's ineffective. It's aggressive communication. Here, the pasuk is teaching us something happened. You have a feeling. That's okay. Confront Confront that person, but how? In a non-aggressive way. In a way that allows for repair to occur within the relationship. Does that make sense? So far, so good. This is all very elementary now. Lo sikkom v'lo sitor. What does that mean? You can take a look at Rashi on source three. Rashi explains. I'm going to say it outside. Lo sikkom means don't take revenge. For example, if somebody says, 'I want to borrow your sickle.' If let's say Sarah, I'll make it, guys. If Reuven says to Shimon, 'I want to borrow your sickle,' and Shimon says no, and then later that day Shimon says, 'I want to borrow your hatchet' And then you go, no, he didn't lend me your sickle. I'm not lending you my hatchet. What do we call that? That's called revenge.

4:35 What's lositor? This one is a little more relevant to a lot of us in the room. Ruvain comes to Shimon and says, "Hey, can I borrow your sickle?" Shimon says, "No." Later that day, Shimon comes to Ruvain and says, "Hey, can I borrow your hatchet?" And you go like this: "You go, sure." I lend out my stuff. Oh, that's so mean. That passive-aggressive, bearing a grudge, and the reason why it's so insidious is because you look like the good guy. I gave you my recipes, even though you won't give me yours. I lend you that skirt. Even though you didn't lend me yours, it's like I return things. I'll put the temperature down. I can understand wanting the temperature to be a certain way, even if your roommates don't want it to be. That passive-aggressive, bearing a grudge is what happens when we don't communicate. By the way, for those of you that just looked around the room at each other and made eye contact, I just want to let you know I saw all of you. Every one of you that did this, I was watching so carefully, and I want you to know: Welcome to the club.

5:44 It's not easy to communicate. Number one, don't hate someone in your heart. Number two, communicate. How do we communicate? Number three, effectively, non-aggressively. Number four, what happens if you don't communicate? You'll end up taking revenge. You'll end up bearing a grudge. Which leads us to step five. What are we meant to do in our relationships? Ve'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. We are meant to be loving. That's our posture towards the world. The way that we show up to relationships is I want to love you. So since we want to be loving people, we don't communicate in an aggressive fashion. We don't take revenge. We don't bear a grudge. Loving people. So far, so good. Now we could have made that an entire she'er. I could have for sure done forty-five minutes making fun of people in relationships that don't communicate and watching those relationships fall apart. However, that is not the agenda of today. The agenda of today is we just went through the five stages. The agenda of today is the Rashi.

6:57 The famous Rashi. Everybody knows this Rashi. The half the lareicha kamocha amar evakiva. Zekal gadol b'Torah. This is the general principle. Girls, I want you to understand. This, everyone, we all grew up. Zekal gadol b'Torah. Every one of us grew up knowing that. However, not so simple. Because if you say something is the general rule, what does that mean? It means that every rule comes from it. I'll give you an example of this. Do you remember when you were in ninth grade biology? The answer is yes. You remember when you were in ninth grade biology. I can prove it. Would you like me to prove it? The mitochondria is so you remember ninth grade biology. It works every time because that's the only thing that anybody ever remembers. But. If you were paying attention on the very first day of ninth grade biology I promise you this is what it sounded like because this is what every textbook starts with.

8:06 Science is the study of all things. Biology is the study of all living things. We all do it because the curriculums are all the same. If you want to spend your four years in high school learning science, the first thing we have to do is tell you what science is. Science is the study of all things. Then we divide it up. Biology is the study of all living things. So anytime something is the general rule, you have to know that's a big deal. That means we're telling you everything you need to know about this topic. If I were going to start a religion, or even if I was examining Judaism, I'm not sure that I would have picked 'ahav lareicha kamocha' as the number one general rule from which all other rules come. I wouldn't have chosen that personally. I probably would have written something about maybe Mashiach, maybe the oneness of Hashem.

9:01 Amar of Akiva, obviously, Rav Akiva knows more than Mordechai Berg. Rav Akiva comes along. He says a very big thing here. He says no, the ahav to lareicha kamocha zeh chlal gadol b'Torah. This is the general rule in all Torah. Number one, how does he know that? I would not have chosen that. How does he know that? Question number two that we're going to ask today is why Rava Kiva. Why Rava Kiva? Of all the people throughout history that could have said the Haftorah Why did it have to be Rava Kiva? It could have been anybody, right? It could have been I don't know. It could have been Abaye. It could have been Rava, right? It could have been Rabbi Nachman. I don't mean Rabbi Nachman Breslov. It could have been Rabbi Nachman the Gemara. It could have been anybody. Why does it have to specifically be Rav Akiva, who's the one who says "Va'hafdal re'echa kamocha"? The question is, why did he say this one? Two things. Number one, two questions. No answers yet. No answers yet. I promise you, it's no answers yet. Number one, how does he know? Like, where does that come from?

10:00 I wouldn't have chosen that. And number two, it's usually when someone says something, it's indicative about themselves. It's not a baya, it's not Rava, it's not Shmuel. It's specifically Rav Akiva. That's the one that says it. We need to know what is it about Rav Akiva that he's specifically the one that says about halfplerecha kamocha. Okay. There's a Gemara in Yevamos. There's a Gemara in Yevamos. The Gemara in Yevamos is very good, very well known. I'm sure you all know it. Rav Akiva Omer lama torbe yalduso yilmo torbe zakenuso. If you learn when you're young, you'll learn when you're old. Then he says Ha yil o tamidim be yaduso yil o tamidim ziknusa. And if you have tamidim, if you teach Torah when you're young, you'll have tamidim when you're old. What happens, sir? The kiva's tamidim. So the Gemara says, "Amru shnei masar elef zugim tamidim ha yil oler the kiva migevas aranti pras the kul on mesu be perek echad mneishlo nagu kavod zelazeh." And that's the period that we're living in right now. What happened? Rav Akiva had how many talmidim? Twenty-four thousand. Incorrect. That's not what the Gemara says. I wish that's what the Gemara would have said. The Gemara says that he had twelve thousand pairs.

11:18 Pairs. It doesn't say that he had twenty-four thousand talmidim. It says that he had twelve thousand pairs of talmidim. Twelve thousand chavrutas. Which is an interesting way of counting talmidim. The Gemara says he had twelve thousand pairs of talmidim. They came from everywhere, and they all died. When did they die? We all know. Right now, in the period of Sfira S'omer, we have two questions. Number and why did they die? Because they were not mechabed each other. Two questions. Number one, the first question, which we already mentioned, is why doesn't it say twenty-four thousand talmidim? Why does it say twelve thousand pares? Second question is Since when are we punished with death because we're disrespectful to each other? Girls, could you imagine? In Tomer Devora, if the punishment was death for not respecting each other, could you imagine what the dorms would look like? It would be the most anxious place in the world. It would be like, no, please stay in the bathroom for as long as you want.

12:20 Nobody else needs it. We're fine. We have an outhouse. Tomer Devora is building outhouses. Please use all the hot water. I don't want any of it. You die. Simply because you're lo nagu kaved zebazeh. So we have two. We have four questions. Can anyone remember the four questions? I can remember some of them. The four questions are: Number one, how does Rava Kiva know that this is the general principle in all the Torah? Number two, why is it Rava Kiva that says it? Number three, why do we call Rava Kiva? Tell me them twelve thousand pairs and not twenty-four thousand. Why do you die simply because you're lo nagu kaved zebazeh? Take a journey with me. I know that Pesach has passed. But we're kind of still in the realm of Pesach because Sfiras Olmer is what connects Pesach and Shavuos, so we're still in the realm of Pesach. Let's do a little bit of a deep dive into the Hagada just for a moment.

13:18 Just for a moment The Hagada really the story of Magid begins with Mitzchila ov de'Avodah Zara ha'yu Avosin. Originally, our ancestors were idolatrous. Let's look. You can take a look in source ten. Let's look what it talks about. Number one, it says they were idol worshippers. And Terach was Avram's father, and Avram gave birth to Yitzchak, and Yitzchak gave birth to Yaakov and Esav And Esav and his children were given Harsayir as an inheritance, and Yaakov and his children went down to Mitzrayim. What information does not appear to be necessary to us? Asav. It simply could have said. I know it's quoting the Pesukim, but the Balagada could have cut it out, or maybe even the Pesukim could have cut it out. If we're discussing the genealogy of Klal Yisrael going down to Mitzrayim, we don't mention Yishmael. Why don't we mention Yishmael? Because it's not relevant to the story. What's relevant to the story, as far as I'm concerned.

14:26 Zediy Terach. He was an idolater. He was a big idolater. Avram Avinu Yitzchak, Yaakov Esav seems to be totally superfluous. Esav seems to be irrelevant to the story of how we go down to Mitzrayim, and yet the Bal Haggadah includes it. Why? That's our fifth question for the night. The Haggadah continues, and this is very important. The Haggadah tells us Hashem keeps His promises. Hashem bears in mind the end. And the Hagada goes through the Bris Bein Ab Sarem. You could take a look at yourself in Yer Alif. It's quoted here. The Bris Bein Ab Sarem. I'm going to go through the five things you need to know about the Bris Bein Ab Sarem. And you're going to tell me what's missing. Here are the five things that Hashem promises Avram Avinu in the Covenant of the Pieces. Ready? Number one: Your children will be strangers in a strange land.

15:34 Number two: Your offspring will be oppressed and enslaved. Number three: They're going to be there for 400 years. Number four: They will leave with great wealth. Number five, you'll see I quoted over here, even though it's not in the Hagada, I quoted it in source 15. They will leave in the fourth generation. Say it again very quickly. Make sure you're with me. Hashem promises Avram Avinu your children will be strangers in a strange land will be enslaved and oppressed Will leave after 400 years. They'll leave with great wealth after the fourth generation. What's missing? We're just like getting the Torah is way, way, way later. What's missing just from that period? If you're looking at the Briskman of Sarem, I'm God. You're Avram Avinu. What information? I'm gonna say it again. What information have I not given you about this period? I'm telling you this. I'm God for a second. You're Avram.

16:36 Avram Your children will be strangers in a strange land. They're gonna be oppressed and enslaved. They're gonna be there for 400 years. They'll leave with great wealth after the fourth generation. What information are you missing? If you're Avram What do you want to know? Where? Where? They'll be strangers in a strange land. Which land? Doesn't say, right? Now you know the end of the story. So what's the end of the story? Where do they end up? Mitzrayim. So all of us know the story. The bris made a basarim. Yosef went down to Mitzrayim. They were strangers in a strange land. They were enslaved and oppressed, no doubt. They were there for not 400 years, but they were there for 210. So they were there for a long time, and that number 400 gets a little bit hazy. It depends when you start the counting or not. But they were there for a long time. They left with great wealth after the fourth generation. So every person in this room, because you all learned Chumash, because you went to the wonderful schools that you went to, you know that the Bris Bein Ab Saram occurred where In Mitzrayim.

17:45 What if I told you that that's not exclusively true? It's only partially true. Pretty wild. Listen to what the Vilna Gaon says. This is unbelievable. It was worth coming back for a month just to hear this. It is an insane piece of Torah. The next thing in the Haggadah, we all know, is a strange one. It seems to come out of nowhere. Go learn from Lavan. Sayulamad, remember you were listening in the seder. Sayulamad, go and learn from Lavan. Lavan was worse than Paro, because Paro only decreed against the boys, and what did Lavan do? Lavan wanted to kill everybody. There's an obvious question though, two obvious questions. Number one, where do we see that? You know the story of Lavan, right? When did that happen? Was there ever a decree that Lavan made against Yaakov? Kill all the kids. He tried to. That was you're talking about. You're talking about by Yitzchak.

18:54 We're talking about Yaakov and Lavan. He said we tried to switch the wives. But that doesn't. Good. But I think we can agree because you all gave different answers that it's not obvious where Lavan tried to destroy everybody. In fact, it's a topic of major conversation. We're going to learn tonight an incredible pshat. The pshat of the Vilna Gaon is as follows. Yaakov Avinu goes to the house of Lavan Yeah, And in his mind He is fulfilling the bris bein abesarim. Not Mitzrayim. Right now, when Yaakov runs away from Esav and he runs down to the house of Lavan, he says, "I know exactly what's happening." This is the prophecy that Zadie Abraham told me about. Why? I'm a stranger in a strange land. I am enslaved and oppressed. We know that Laban treated him very harshly. He was there, relatively speaking, for a long time.

20:04 In fact, we'll soon see that there are going to be major parallels between Yaakov and leaving Laban and Klaliyastar leaving Mitzrayim. So he was there for a relatively long time. He left with great wealth. How many sheep did he leave with? And, and this is what's very important. So if you've listened to nothing else, listen to this. But I see you girls are listening, which is impressive. He left in the fourth generation. What does it mean? He left in the fourth generation. Take a look in Berechias, source 17 over here. Berechias Lamed Chaf Hey. On what day does Yaakov Avinu decide? That he is going to leave the house of Lavan. It's a very specific day. It's the day that Yosef HaTzaddik is born. And what does Yosef HaTzaddik represent? The fourth generation. Why? Avram Yitzchak Yaakov. Who's next? Yosef. Yosef is the fourth generation.

21:06 Now you might ask, and I see some of you already are getting a little bit queasy. Yosef's not the fourth generation. Who's the beginning of the fourth generation? Reuven. Reuven. But for some reason, which we will explain Told you it's a parsha on Staritz. Yaakov sees Yosef as the beginning of the fourth generation. Which means that Yaakov Avinu, in his mind, said, 'I know this story. Everything that Hashem promised happened to me. I was a stranger in a strange land. I was enslaved and oppressed. I was there for a long time. I left with great wealth after the fourth generation.' It never said Mitzrayim, girls. You know why it never said Mitzrayim? Because the bris bein abesarim could have happened anywhere. It didn't need to happen in Mitzrayim. It just needed to happen at some point in history. And Yaakov Avinu says, "Look, it happened to me." This is what the Vilna Gaon says. Now take a look. This is probably the most important part of the she'er in terms of why I made these short source sheets.

22:18 I want you, for a moment, to take a look at source nineteen and twenty together. We're going to learn them together. I want to show you the most incredible literary parallels that you've ever seen in Chumash. The story of Yaakov Avinu leaving the house of Lavan is literally the same exact story with the same exact words in the same exact order as when Klal Yisrael left Mitzrayim and is running away from Parah. We're going to do it side by side. Take a look. You got them in front of you, 19 and 20. Take a look at these words. They're incredible words. I want you girls to know there are people that told me you're giving out source sheets in Talmud Torah. You're going to lose the room. I said I'm not going to lose the room. These girls are incredible. Prove me right. I like to be right. I'm pretty arrogant.

23:10 You don't have 19 and 20. It's Genesis chapter 31, verses 22 through 24, and Exodus chapter 14, verses 5 through 9. Page 10. Page 10 for those of you that have pages. I did not print your things. Look at the words, girls. These words are incredible. They're illuminating. If you're paying attention, you should have the following reaction. Your mind should be blown, and you should be able to reveal it in your face because this is incredible. Let's look at the first pasuk. Va'yugod le'lovan by yom aslishi kibarach Yaakov. Lovan was told on the third day that Yaakov had fled. Go now over to Shemos. Va'yugod le'melech Mitzrayim. And Paro was told kibarach ha'am that the nation ran away. And by the way, even though this is not explicitly in the words of the pasukim. Yaakov Avinu left Lavan, and Lavan figured it out on the third day. When did Paro figure out that Klali Yisrael wasn't coming back? On the third day, because remember Moshe Rabbeinu had said we want to go for a tiyul, we want to go for a three-day vacation. When they didn't come back, it was on the third day that he was told, "Hey, they're not coming back." The words are literally the same. Let's keep going. Next one: Ve'yikachas Echav, ve'imimo ve'yirdov acharav. And Lavan took his brothers, and he started chasing after.

24:31 Yaakov, look what it says in what's it called? Look what it says back over there in Shmos when Klal Yisrael is running away from Paro. He starts chasing him, and who does he take? He takes his brothers. Look a little bit later, it says and he's chasing after Bnei Yisrael. It's literally the same words, and then. And eventually, Lavan catches up to Yaakov. Take a look at the last pasuk over here. Mitzrayim is chasing after Klal Yisrael and they catch up to them. So we see there's amazing similarities. There's one more similarity that I didn't mention. I'm going to mention now. Remember a moment ago, I mentioned that Yaakov Binu left Lavan in the 21st year. And when did we leave Mitzrayim in the 210th year? Very interesting, all of these parallels. Why is that? Because Yaakov Avinu experienced the first Bris Bein Abasarem. Klal Yisrael experienced the second one.

25:34 We're going to learn about that in a minute. We now have an obvious question. I should point out: if Yaakov Avinu experienced the Bris Bein Abasarem Then that should have meant the end of history. Because of Yaakov Venu, remember what's Hashem's promise. Hashem's promise is: you will be strangers in a strange land. You will be enslaved and oppressed. You'll be there for a long time. You're going to be leaving with great wealth in the fourth generation, and then after that, what? And then after that, Olam Habib And then after that, Mashiach. We're finished. But that's not what happens, even though it appears that's what Yaakov Venu thinks is going to happen. Because right after Yaakov Vino leaves the house of Lavan and confronts Esav, what does the pasuk say? He's Vayeshev. What does Rashi say? Take a look in Rashi. Rashi says, 'Be'kesh Yaakov leshav b'shalva.' He wanted to exist with tranquility. But what does Rashi say, girls? That's not the way life works. Immediately, since Yaakov thought he was going to live in tranquility, Hashem says, 'Tzaddikim only live in tranquility in Olam Haba, not in Olam Hazeh.' And what happens? The sale of Yosef Which means that even though Yaakov Avinu, in theory, experienced the entire Bris Bein Abasarim Some reason it didn't take.

26:56 For some reason, it did not become Olam Habah. For some reason, Yosef was sold. And Yosef went down to Mitzrayim, and we had to do it all over again. The question is, why? Now you'll see. I actually wrote this down on the page, so even if you're not listening, it's literally lined up for you there. How does Yaakov Avinu end up in the house of Lavan And how does Yosef HaTzaddik end up in Mitzrayim? These stories are exactly parallel. Take a look. Exactly parallel. Why did Lavan work so much harder? We didn't say it, but we're about to. We didn't say it, but we're about to. Thank you for reminding me and reminding everybody. How is love? And we haven't answered the question yet. How is love worse than Paro? Where do we see that love was b'kesh l'akar asakol? We're about to discover it.

27:50 You're going to see that these two stories, stories that we never really put together before. Are exactly lined up perfectly. Let's start with Yaakov and Esav. Yaakov switches places with Esav and gets the bracha from Yitzchak. Which leads to a sibling rivalry. What's the parallel to that? Listen carefully now. The Al Shachah Kadosh says, and this is the answer to your question: Where did Lavan try to uproot everything? Lavan was exceptionally clever, much more clever than you know. Lavan switched Leah and Rachel. Why was that such a big deal? Because it created a sibling rivalry. Because who was the firstborn now Reuven? Who was meant to be the firstborn? So you see, from the very beginning What Lavan did is he created a power struggle. He created a fight between siblings. And Yaakov Avinu treats who as the b'chhar Yosef.

28:55 And that's why when does Yaakov leave? Not after Reuven's born. Because he doesn't count Reuven as the beginning of the fourth generation. When does he count Reuven as the beginning? When does he count the beginning of the fourth generation from Yosef? Because in Yaakov's mind, who's really the first wife? It's really Rachel, even though he married Leah first. And as we're going to soon see, it worked. It actually worked, and the sibling rivalry ultimately did destroy everything that Yaakov did. So hang on, you're going to see it beautifully in a second. So we have exactly the same case. We have switching places leads to a sibling rivalry. Number two, Yaakov deceives Yitzchak And lavan. The shvatim deceive Yaakov. You see how the stories are exactly parallel? Yaakov Avinu says I'm Esav. The Shvatim say Yosef is dead. They're both deception involved. This is my favorite one.

29:52 Yaakov wears Esav's coat to deceive Yitzchak, right? And the brothers use Yosef's coat to deceive Yaakov. And according to some, the k'sones pasim that Yosef got was the same coat that he took from Esav on that day, which may have been the coat that Esav took from Nimrod when he killed Nimrod, which may have been the coat. That Hakadosh Baruch Hu made for Adam Arishon when he left Gan Eden. So the parallels here are amazing. The coat, the very coat, perhaps according to some, the very coat that Yaakov took from Esav to deceive Yitzchak is the same coat that was used by the Shvatim to deceive Yaakov. You see the symmetry? Amazing symmetry. This is another good one. In both cases, there's a slaughtered goat. The pasuk says that Rivka told Yitzchak, told Yaakov, Lachna asatzon veKachli misham shnei g'dudim. I think it's two goats so I could prepare a meal for Yaakov. What do the brothers dip the k'sonas pasim in?

31:07 A goat's blood Which, by the way, we're not going to get into now, but has to do with why we had a goat's blood in Makas Bchoros. And then finally, this is the most obvious one. They both led to exile because of the sibling rivalry between Yaakov and Esav. Yaakov goes down to Lavan because of the sibling rivalry between the Shvatim. Yosef goes down to Mitzrayim. So we see they're the same exact story. Now we can answer a question. Now we can answer a question. Why is Esav mentioned in the Hagada? Because really, really The story of how Klal Yisrael goes down to Mitzrayim is a story about sibling rivalry. It's a story about what happens when brothers fight and they cannot make peace between them, and we're going to see a little bit more about that in a minute. So the Haggadah has to tell us Zediy Terach Avram Avinu Yitzchak.

32:15 Yaakov and Esav split. Esav went to Har Sayer, and because of that Yaakov and his children went down to Mitzrayim. Why wasn't it successful? Why wasn't the Bris Bein Abesarim that Yaakov Avinu seems to have fulfilled in the house of Lavan successful? Because when he left the house of Lavan, after he defeated the Malach of Esav and confronted Esav. The brothers fought And had the brothers not fought We would never have had to go down to Mitzrayim because Yaakov actually did accomplish it. In fact, when Yaakov Avinu was fighting with the Malach of Esav, what does he say? He says the sun came up. The Pesuk says the sun came up. That's a reference to Olam Habah, and he says to him, 'What's your name?' Because we know that in the times of Mashiach, the Malach Samuel will be killed.

33:09 And the way that he'll be killed is he'll have the aleph and the lamad removed from his name. He'll have the godliness removed from his name, and that's how he'll die. So Yaakov, I think this is the way to go. Yeah, I mean, like, it's not that bad. Right? Like, it's just a few changes. Yeah, but I'm not sure. Like, maybe we should check with the others. Yeah, okay, maybe. But I think it's safe to proceed. So Yaakov Avinu is for sure. I just brought Mashiach. I did. Stranger in a strange land. I was enslaved and oppressed by Lavan. I was there for a long time. I left great wealth in the fourth generation. I confronted Esav. I confronted the Malchav Esav, and I was victorious. The sun is up. It's all Amalek. What's your name? Yaakov Avinu is convinced. I brought Mashiach. Bris Mayim Yisarim. Show's over. Except for one problem. The brothers fought And that's what we're going to learn about tonight. What mistake did the brothers make? What was their big mistake? Girls, remember in the very beginning of the Sheer. It was about 33 minutes ago, so it's a journey to remember.

33:58 Remember there were five steps. Let's review the five steps. Don't hate your brother in your hearts. Remember that. Don't hate your brother in your hearts. Confront him Talk to him in a non-aggressive way so that he can feel heard and understood, and they can listen. Otherwise, you'll end up taking revenge or bearing a grudge. Rather, choose to love your brother. Remember those five steps. Let's take a look at what happens between Yosef and his brothers. Look at what happens when communication breaks down. Remember. What did Lavan do? Lavan created a sibling rivalry. Who's the real b'chor, Reuven or Yosef? Yaakov chooses Yosef, and the brothers see that Yosef is more beloved. Vayesnuo so, and they hated him. Velo yachlu ledabru b'shalom. And because they hated him, they were not able to speak to him peaceably. What was the brothers' mistake? Where was their failure? It's the failure of these five steps in these two psukim in parshas kedoshim.

35:12 They hated Yosef. What could they have done? They could have gone over to Yosef and said, 'This is really hard for us. Reuven is the biological firstborn. Leah was our mother. We know that Yaakov had a special relationship with Rachel, but it's hard for us to see you be treated that way.' But because they couldn't speak to him peaceably, because they didn't have ocheach tocheach asamisacha in a way of losisa alav chet in a way that could be heard. What they end up doing? They ended up hating him. They ended up bearing resentment against him, and as a result, what did they do? They ended up selling him down to Mitzrayim. Do you see how it goes? The story of the Hagada, the story of Gullus, the story of Mitzrayim is a story about what happens when brothers fight and they don't talk. Now here is Yosef, and he doesn't know that his brothers hate him. He says, 'Guys, I have a dream.'

36:04 And what did they do? What does the pasuk tell us? They hated him even more. And then he told them another dream, and they hated him even more to the degree that they left and went to shepherd their sheep in Shechem. They said, 'We're out of here. We have nothing to do with you anymore.' Do you see what happens when people don't communicate? The Torah is telling us an incredibly clear story: Yaakov and Esav. As we'll see in a moment, didn't communicate, and as a result of Esav's lack of communication, Yaakov went down to Galus. Yaakov Avinu should have fixed everything in the Bris Bein HaBasarim, but what happens? His children didn't communicate, and as a result, Yosef goes down to Galus. Where do we see Where do we see A lack of communication and bearing a grudge. This is the home run. Everything up until now was just setting us up for this moment. You ready for it? Take a look in Baruches.

36:59 Chapter fifty Verse fifteen. You see it. The story is now that Yaakov Avinu has just died. All the brothers are in Mitzrayim. Yosef is the viceroy of Egypt. What are the brothers afraid of? Let's look at the psukim inside. One word is bolded. It's the most important word here. They saw that their father died. Maybe Joseph bears a grudge against us, and now he's going to take his revenge. He bears a grudge, and now he's going to give us our just desserts. After all this time. He's going to come after us. You ready for it? So what do they do? They go to Yosef and tell him a story. And the Medrash says this story isn't even true. They lied to him. What's the Medrash say? I'll tell you the Medrash outside, but I quoted it for you inside. You could take a look. The Medrash says that the brothers were scared that Yosef was going to take it out on them.

38:13 So they ran to his mother. Who was his mother? Rachel was dead. Who was his mother? Who raised Yosef? Bilah. Bila raised Yosef. It's a deep Torah because Yosef is called the Lahav. He's called the spark. That's the same letters as the word Bila. Yosef was raised by Bila. The Shvatim ran to Bila and they said, 'He's for sure going to kill us now.' " He was just biding his time. Why would they think that? Why would they think that Yosef was just biding his time? We'll soon see. They said, "For sure, he's biding his time." Bila said, "I'll tell you what. You know what you should do? Tell him that before Yaakov Avinu died He told you, 'Forgive.' 'For forgive and forget And this is what the brothers did. They went to Yosef HaTzaddik and they said, 'You should know. Before Dad died, he told us you should forgive us.'

39:00 And look what the pasuk says. Look what Yosef does. Yosef starts crying. See, you thought I was going to hurt you. They even said they're willing to be your slaves. They say they fell on their face, willing to be your slaves. Don't be afraid of me. I'm not in the place of God. You thought bad things, but God ultimately had a good plan. That's why I'm here, and I'm able to support you guys. He says, 'Guys, don't worry. I'm going to take care of this. I'm going to get back to the main point. I think that's what we need to do. Yeah, I think that's right.' And he spoke. Hear those words? He spoke to their hearts. It's an unbelievable thing. Where do we see that? Take a look. This is amazing. Veracious, chapter twenty-seven, verse forty-one. Remember what was the key word? That Yosef yistemenu. He bears a grudge. Let's look at the same exact words in a story that you should now be very familiar with.

40:05 Vayistom Esav es Yaakov, and Esav harbored a grudge against Yaakov. Ala bracha, asher barcha aviv, because in the end, who got the bracha? Yaakov or Esav? And what did Esav feel? He felt resentment. And rather than talking about it Vayomer Esav belibo. Yosef, Esav says in his heart, Yikrivu Yemei Eyalavi. Eventually, my father will die. The Harga es Yaakov Achi, and then I will kill my brother Yaakov. Girls, do you know where the Shvatim got the idea that Yosef was bearing a grudge? Remember, history repeats itself because Esav bore the grudge, and Esav said, "I'll wait until my father dies, and then I'll kill Yaakov." He said it where Out loud, in his heart. Esav literally violated exactly the pasuk that we're talking about: 'Lo tisnas achicha b'avecha.' Don't hate your brother in your heart. Don't bear a grudge. What does Esav do? He hates his brother in his heart. He bears a grudge, and he says, 'One day I'll kill him.' So you know what the brothers are thinking?

41:16 The brothers are thinking it's the same story, the same way that Esav sent Yaakov down to exile. We sent Yosef down to exile, and the same way that Esav hated his brother in his heart. So too Yosef hates us in his heart. And we come to Yosef and we make up the story. Yaakov said not to hurt us. And Yosef cries because he realizes that in all the time they've been living together in Mitzrayim. They still didn't love each other. They were still terrified of each other. He says, "Guys, I'm going to take care of you. I promise you. You thought bad, but Hashem thought good. I'm not holding resentment." He spoke because he wanted to heal the relationship. Girls, the sale of Yosef continues to haunt us to this very day. If you take a look. In the Medrash Tanhuma and VaYeseh and in the Medrash Mishlei, you'll see two amazing things over here.

42:19 Number one The Pasuk in Amos says that we cannot be forgiven for the sale of shoes. Anyone know where the sale of shoes was from? The Medrash. Very good. The Medrash Tanhuma says that Yosef was sold for how many pieces of silver? Anybody know? Twenty pieces of silver. And each shevet got two pieces. And what they do with the two pieces of silver? They bought shoes. Very weird that they bought shoes, but they bought shoes. Very weird that they bought shoes, but they bought shoes. And by the way, the medrash says, why only twenty pieces of silver? Yosef was a beautiful man. Yosef should have gotten much more than twenty pieces of silver. When he was down in the pit, he was surrounded by snakes and scorpions, and it messed up his face because he was so terrified of the snakes and scorpions that he became disfigured, and that's why he only got twenty pieces of silver, and that's why they only got two pieces of silver apiece.

43:16 But because of those shoes, the Navi and Amos say we've never been forgiven, which means that everything bad that happened to Chaya Stahl through all of history is why. Because Yosef was sold down to Mitsrayim for a pair of shoes. In fact, take a look here in the Medrash in Mishlei, Amrav Yeshu Ben Levi. You know why the ten martyrs? Remember, girls, the ten martyrs, the Asar Rugei Malchus on Yom Kippur and on Tishah B'av. You know why those Asar Rugei Malchus were killed? Because of the sale of Yosef. Everything, everything, everything goes back to the sale of Yosef. Why? Remember, we said it already. Because all of exile is about sibling rivalry. When they don't love each other. We'll see. Comes along the Arizal. This is the cherry on top, and with this we'll finish the Shir. This is the dessert. Comes along the Arizal and says Rav Akiva ben Yosef is a Gilgal of who?

44:14 Yaakov Avinu. The Arizal. That's why his name was Akiva. Yaakov Avinu, we know the Megal Amuko says he held on to the heel of Esav And he pulled out the soul of Revaqiva, which was in the heel of Esav. He pulled it out with his hands. And so, in a certain way, the soul of Revaqiva is in who? Esav. Is both in Esav and in Yaakov. Revaqiva is the bridge between brothers. He's the bridge between Esav and Yaakov. He's in Esav, but he's pulled into the world of Yaakov. In fact, we know that when Yaakov is giving Yosef his bracha at the end of his life, the pasuk says Abir Yaakov. What is Abir Yaakov? Abir Yaakov. If you change around the letters, the Arizal says, is the same letters as Rebbe Akiva. And even Akiva is the words Yaakov and then the extra aleph is for Avinu. The Arizal says so. Rebbe Akiva is deeply connected to the world of Yaakov, and of course, his name is Akiva ben Yosef, so he's obviously connected to the world of Yosef. And not accidentally, did you know that Rivkah and Yaakov Avinu basically led the same life?

45:20 They were both shepherds for their father-in-law. Yaakov was a shepherd for Laban. Rivkah was a shepherd for Kalbasavua. They both married two wives. The first wife was Rachel for Rivkah, Keneged Rachel Menu. The second wife was Turnus Rufus, his wife, after she divorced him and converted, and she became the leia of the relationship. And finally, this is the cherry on top. Chef's kiss. Yaakov Avinu had twelve shvatim, and Rav Akiva doesn't have twenty-four thousand talmidim. What does he have? Twelve thousand talmidim. And not accidentally, the Gemara in Pesachim tells us that Rav Akiva gave over certain lessons to his son, Rav Yoshua. And among those lessons was Don't ever walk around barefoot. So the Gemara says "Al timna min alaya meraglecha." Don't. Take off your shoes. Why was it Rivkah who was so machben on shoes? Because Rivkah knows all about the sale of Yosef. After all, he is Yaakov. He is Yosef. He knows all about what happens when siblings treat each other with a lack of dignity. And shoes are all about dignity.

46:34 In fact, I'll tell you. A couple years ago, I had to go buy orthotics, and I don't know if you've ever seen orthotics, but these are not good looking shoes. These are like the Frankenstein shoes. I'm talking about the old man shoes that you walk around in and you're like that guy now. And it was hard for me. I said to the store owner, I can't believe I'm going to wear that. He said, Shoes are all about dignity, and you don't want to wear them because they don't look good. The mistake of the brothers is that they sold their brother so that they could have dignity. They traded his dignity so that they could have more. Comes along Rivka. The soul of Yaakov Avinu, the soul of Yoseph, the one who's supposed to bridge the gap between brothers, Yaakov and Esav. He tells his son Don't go around barefoot. Act with dignity, and then treat others with dignity also. And that's why the halachos are that on Tishah B'av we don't wear leather shoes, and if someone's an avil, they don't wear leather shoes. It used to be that even the pallbearers by a levaya wouldn't wear shoes. And on Yom Kippur, we don't wear shoes because we want to have more humility.

47:37 And shoes are all about dignity. Shoes are all about dignity. The lesson of how we treat our siblings is all about dignity. And finally, we can now answer the last questions that we had up until now: Why is it Rav Kiva of all of the people that knew that the number one principle in all of the Torah is vahaftolareyach hakamocha? Because he lived it. Because he saw what happened between Yaakov and Esav. Because he saw what happened between Yosef and the Shvatim, that was him. He had the twelve thousand Talmidim. He said the point of everything in the Torah is for brothers to get along, for brothers to communicate, not hate each other in their hearts, so that they don't end up taking revenge, bearing a grudge, and ultimately leading us into gullus, which is what happens throughout history. Every single time we go to gullus, it's because of sinas chinam.

48:31 And we can't get out of our way, even though we've done it so many times before. We keep making the same mistake over and over again. So it's Rav Akiva who knows the Haftorah. Now we know why his talmidim were so deeply punished, simply because they were low nahu covered zebze. You don't get the death penalty because you don't treat each other nicely. The answer is these twelve thousand zugos, these twelve thousand chavruses had the opportunity. These were such big tzaddikim that they could have ended galus right there. If they had treated each other with respect. They could have ended the cycle of violence. If they loved each other and fulfilled b'haftalayach kamocha like the Rebbe taught them to, it would have been the end of galus. Mashiach would have come. But because they didn't treat each other with dignity, they repeated the same thing that happened to Yaakov and Esav.

49:23 The same way Esav held that grudge and he didn't speak. As a result, Yaakov went down to Galus. The same way Yosef's brothers hated him because Laban switched Leah and Rachel, and they didn't speak about it. And they ended up sending him down to Galus. It's exactly the same thing that happened with the Talmidim of Beqiva, and that's why they were Chay of Misa, and that's why in these Yemei Sefira What's the most important thing that we should be working on? Coming off of that great big lesson that we learned that the seder was really all about the hafdalayachah kamocha, and ultimately we're going to receive the Torah ki ish echad b'leiv echad. Only united can we receive the Torah. What is our job during Sefiras Haomer? Our job during Sefiras Haomer is to connect bez Hashem to every single Jew to confront what's bothering us in a healthy way so that we could promote love.