Purim - Is This the Real Story?

2:26 Maybe we should start a little bit earlier. The Gemara suggests maybe we have to introduce Mordechai and Esther, and ultimately Riv Meir says no. We start at the very beginning, which is where we start the Megillah. We pass in like Riv Meir. We start all the way early, early in the times of the Suda of Achashverosh. The Gemara wants to know what's each sad. So the Gemara says the first sad that we should start all the way by Achashverosh. Remembering Mordechai when he woke up when he couldn't sleep in the middle of the night. That's because it's basically the story of the geula. Why would you start by Haman? Because ultimately, in order to understand the geula, you need to understand the gullus. So you need to understand Haman. Why would you start by introducing Mordechai and Esther? Because if you're going to understand the gullus and the geula, you need to understand the characters of the story. But ultimately, Rav Meir is the Shita that says no. We have to start all the way in the very beginning, all the way by the Suda of Achashverosh. All of these Shitas are understood except for the one that we actually pascan like. Why? Because I understand you need to understand the Geula.

3:32 The Galus, the characters of the story. But why does it happen? Navgamina, if we actually know the story of the Suda of Achashverosh. Do we really need to know in great detail about the suda and where everyone was and what type of cutlery they used and the blatoth and the silver? And is this really what we need to know? Is it relevant to the story of Purim? Bemson is not really relevant. Do we need to know that Vashti was killed? Just tell us he used to have a wife, now he has Esther. So you see that there is something funny going on over here. Couple more questions. Purim is the only yontif during the year that has a Persian name. Might all the other ones have biblical names or names that mean something in Hebrew? Loshan Hakodesh Purim is the only one that has a Persian name. Purim comes from Loshan of poor. Poor means a girl in Hebrew. It's called a girl. So why do we keep the Persian name? Let it be the Yom Tov of girl, Agarolos, that means lottery. Lehipil poor Haman. Had a lottery. He cast a lottery. That lottery was called Apur in Persian.

4:46 But we keep it with its Persian name. The question is why. Number two, what's the significance of the fact that it's a lottery? Who cares if it's a lottery or not? Why is of all the things in the Purim story to name this Yomtov after the Geyrol? The Purim is the least relevant one. Name it. I don't know. Name it. The story of Mordechai and Esther. Because Haman made a lottery on which date it should fall out. So now the story is called Purim. How does the lottery that Haman made? How does that reflect the essence of the Purim story? And also, it should be poor. It shouldn't be Purim. What's Purim Chavra? Purim is plural. Haman cast a lottery. That's poor. Why is it called Purim? Why is it in plural? Imagine for a moment that you were living in the times of Mordechai and Esther.

5:49 So there was a king, much like today. We have a president of the United States. Everybody is handling about him. Everybody wants to know what's the story with this president. He wakes up in the morning. He goes on Twitter. He rips on Schwarzenegger a little bit. Then he says Obama is wiretapping him. It's a givat. The whole world is talking about this lunatic in the White House. Everyone wants to know what happened. By the way, nobody understood what it means that Achashverosh was both smart and stupid at the same time until we met Trump. So I'm a shagivat. Navo, don't worry. It's not a comment on his politics. It's just dementia. So we're living in a time period right now, and everybody is covering what's going on in the world. Right now we have a 24-hour news cycle. It wasn't; they didn't have a 24-hour news cycle back then. But I'm sure they had whatever stones they etched into the story of what was going on. Did you hear that the guy who was the stable boy became the head of Breitbart News? The stable boy once became the second in command to the throne. Did you hear that Vashti, who was really from royalty, Achashverosh tried in front of everybody to get her to come in an inappropriate way to the party.

7:05 Did you hear that she was the first feminist? She stood up and she said, "You're my king. I'm not your queen." And she's no, I refuse to come. This is what the story that everybody was covering. But the truth of the matter is. When you look at it as a fragmented story, each piece by itself, then you don't really understand history. You don't really understand history. In order to understand history, you can't just have an article that says what's going on right now. History, when we study history, is really about understanding the cause and effect that went into the creation of a story. Growing up in America. What did we all learn? We all learned the story of slavery in America. And we all learned how the North fought the South and won. Good for you. The North.

8:16 The North fought the South and won. Can't just let that sit. How do the two of you get along? The North fought the South in one right, and then we thought that the North growing up, didn't we think that the North were the heroes? Isn't that the way we grew up? And then we got a little older, and what did we learn? They weren't such sadiqim in the North. Because even afterwards, they only gave them three fifths of a vote. And then we got a little older, and maybe we learned something in high school, or maybe we learned something in college, depending on where you went. And all of a sudden, you learn that really no, it wasn't really about slavery at all. It was all about economics, and it was the South's power in cotton. And you learn a little more. Really, why is it that we can learn history deeper and deeper? Because the truth is that the less fragmented you understand the story, the more real the story is. See, the problem in politics today is that we're looking at everything because we have so much information coming minute by minute. So we understand one fragment of the story. And because we understand one fragment of the story

9:19 We make the mistake of thinking that we understand what's really going on. It's really only when we get a complete picture that we begin to understand what the story is really all about. But Chavra, even that, from a religious perspective, from a Jewish perspective, is not enough. From a Jewish perspective, it's not enough until you understand the story that's behind the story. Because what we believe is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world with a plan, and the truth of the matter is that there's two levels to the story. There's a story that's occurring here at the surface, and then there's the story that's really going on beneath the surface the entire time. Purim is the ultimate story that can be read, as many of you know, that can be read without Hakadosh Baruch Hu at all. And when you read the story without Hakadosh Baruch Hu at all, it just seems like a bunch of random, fragmented events. If you would not know Megillus Esther, if you would not know how it all fits into play

10:22 Then all you would see is a good political story, a story of Achashveirosh who came to power. He wasn't supposed to come to power. He wasn't from a royal family. How he became Vashti's husband. How he took over the crown. You wouldn't see them necessarily as joined together. And even if you did, you would only see them as joined together. B'tayres history. Not b'toyras Hakadosh baruch hu. And this, as we all know, is why the Megillah doesn't say the word Hakadosh baruch hu. It doesn't say Hashem in it. Even though we know, as we'll see soon, that there was a reference to Hakadosh baruch hu every time it says Hamelach. That's really a reference to Hashem. But when you look at the story, it's possible to read the story politically. It's possible that you'll come home from the night of reading Megillah Zester and you'll think to yourself, 'What's the big deal? It's not such a Gavaldika story. It's just like any other political story.'

11:15 But the truth of the matter is. This is why it's called Purim. Because Pur is from a Russian of lottery, and lottery means by chance. It was random. It's a random thing. Who wins the lottery? Who loses the lottery? It's a random thing. Why is it that people go nuts when they win the lottery? Because of all the odds, it shouldn't be that I won the lottery. It shouldn't be. In fact, we know that the statistics tell us that now that people know a lot about people that win the lottery, it's very not good for them. First of all, they lose everything. Many of them, the psychological distress of all of a sudden that person won the lottery and people chasing after them. It's not a simple thing. Why? Because there's a certain randomness to it. What did I do to deserve this? Nothing. You bought a ticket in the Seven Eleven. All of a sudden, you're a millionaire. So the nature of Purim and the reason why it's called Purim. The reason why the lottery reflects the essence of the story of Purim is because the outside story of Purim is the story of a random event. That's what it looks like—a random event.

12:20 It happened to be that we had someone in the palace, so we had a little political cloud. She was smart; she was able to invite Haman to a seder. She got them in the same room. Baruch Hashem, she was able to work it out. That's how you could Chas v'Shalom read the story. Purim. Means that you're not looking at it in that way. You're looking at the deeper story, and chavra. That's why it's Purim in a lashon of plural, Purim not one lottery but two. Why? Because there's always two narratives. There's the story, and then there's the deeper story. There's the story of what it looks like on the outside, and then there are those who have their ears and their eyes attuned to the reality, and then they can tell you what's really going on behind the scenes. And this is very important. The tzaddikim have an insight because of the clarity with which they see the world. They have an insight into what's really going on. So when Mordechai, for example, let's go to the story of Purim for a second. When Mordechai told Klal Yisrael, 'Do not go to Suda Sakhashverosh,' every chacham

13:22 Every bala boss, every guy who said to himself, "No, I know better." He meant Mordechai shouldn't go to the party. He had a great political svaranu. He said, "What do you mean? The whole world is invited, and every religion is going to be represented. We shouldn't go. What do you mean? We're modern Persians. Of course, we have to participate in the government. Of course, we have to show our political clout. And Mordechai says, 'No, I know what's really going on. This is a suda about the destruction of the base Hamikdash. What are you talking about? Destruction of the base Hamikdash? It's a celebration of his kingship.' But the tzaddik, because he has clarity, sees the world the way Hakadosh Baruch Hu sees it. We have emunah in our chachamim, so we're able to rely on him to see the world the way he sees it. And of course, we shouldn't have gone. Because we went, and because we didn't have emunah in our chachamim, there was a xardin in Shamayim that we should be killed.

14:22 And when was the rectification, Nuchever? When was the real Purim? Anybody know when was the real Purim? Pesach. And that year, Tinyus Esther came out on the first night of Pesach. And we didn't eat matzah that year. We fasted, Tinyus Esther. We fasted. How could it be that we could fast on a day, Raisa, The first night of Pesach? Because that's the Tikkun. We wanted to see it as a bunch of random events. What do you mean? You are going to tell me not to go? I am an enlightened Persian. I read the Persian Times. I read all the news. I understand what's going on. You sitting over there in Beit Medrash, Mordechai HaTzaddik. What do you know? You don't know anything. Mordechai knew better. And so the Tikkun was when we had a Munaschach Amim. And this answers a very deep question. Chaver, we're going to start to go a little bit deeper. We know the Zayar says that Yom Kippur is Kipurim. That there's an intrinsic connection between Yom Kippur and Purim. And everybody works on this. Everybody tries to figure out what's going on. The chevr isn't true that there's another geyrul that takes place on Yom Kippur.

15:28 What's the geyrul that takes place on Yom Kippur? Shir la Zosel and Shir la Hashem. Two goats, absolutely identical in every single way. In fact, the Sfas Emes says that those two goats needed to be identical twins, born from the same womb. Not everybody agrees to that. It's a chiddush of the Sfas Emes. Two identical goats, and there's a dairul. On one, it's sir la azazel. On the other, it's sir la Hashem. The one that's sir la Hashem, we bring as a carbon, machaper for all klal Yisroel. The one that's sir la azazel, we throw it off of a cliff. Which one is going to be which? What's the explanation? The explanation is once again there are two stories, two narratives, two ways of viewing it. On Yom Kippur, we stand before our Kadosh Baruch Hu, and we say, "Chatasi, we sinned." Chatasi, we sinned. How could you do tshuva? How could you change that narrative? It's a reality. I did what I did, Rebbe. I did what I did. I can't undo that, right? Chaver, you have to know. Says the Balatanya. There's another narrative going on at the exact same time, and that's the narrative of the nefesh alikis.

16:30 You know where the nefesh alikis was when we were sinning? It was screaming inside of us, saying, "I'm not participating in this. I refuse to participate." On the outside, it looks like I'm so involved in my chait. On the outside, it looks like I'm so excited, and I felt excited. Nefesh habahamis felt excited. Sitra achra felt excited. Yitzchak hara felt excited. The nefesh alikis, the other narrative that was going on at the exact same time, was screaming that I don't want any part of this. And on Yom Kippur, once again, there's a poor There's a guyrul. Which narrative will you choose to identify with? Will you stand there and go, 'Look what I can do! Look at this party! Look at this avera! Look at that avera!' Or will you choose to listen to the deeper narrative that's going on inside of your soul? And chevra, it's not an accident that the two goats needed to be exactly the same, identical in every way. Because when you're rechanging the narrative of a story, you're not changing the facts.

17:27 It's not the shot you didn't go. You went. It's not the shot you didn't go to the party. You went to the party. You didn't do the avera. Of course, you did the avera. You can't change that fact. But the question is, Which voice will you live with—the voice that says that avera was awesome, or will you listen to the voice that says I was screaming the entire time? And both are true. It's just a shaila. Which one you want to live with? And it's the narrative of the nefesh alikis that allows us to do tshuva because the nefesh alikis. What do you mean? We never did the avera to begin with. We were never participating in that. That was somebody else. So the reason that we have a geyral on Yom Kippur is also there was a randomness here. There was two identical stories going on at the exact same time. Which narrative am I going to choose to live with? The chevrat's even a little bit deeper than that. We can add on another layer now, because the truth of the matter is that you could ask yourself, what in the world does my avera have to do with serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu?

18:25 Because at the end of the day, wasn't it always part of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's plan that I do this avera? Of course. Of course, it was part of our Kaddish Baruch Hu's plan that I do the averu. Not getting into the subject of free will versus foreknowledge for a second. Naks isn't here, Baruch Hashem. We're not getting into that. Not getting into that for one second. But isn't it true that it was always part of our Kaddish Baruch Hu's plan? Of course, it's true. So you could ask yourself, looking back on it now, I'm here, Shana Alef, Shana Bet, And Mevaseret, and I'm sitting here Friday morning, Kailo. You could ask yourself, Looking back on my life, maybe I don't understand. How did I get here? It's a disaster. It's an unmitigated disaster. I look back at my life and I did so many things. How is this part of our Kadosh Baruch Hu's plan? Where's the Hamelach here? Chaver? You know the answer.

19:15 The answer is on Yom Kippur. On an individual level, we're able to say, 'I see the plan. I see that every avera that I did, every mitzvah that I did, but every even every avera that I did, it brought me to this moment.' I'm changing the narrative. I'm going to choose that narrative. I'm going to throw it off the mountain. That has nothing to do with me. The rest of it, I'm going to be makor v'lasha. That's the deeper yoseid of the randomness of Purim. It's you could choose to see it as random. Fragmented activities, or you could choose to see that Hakadosh Baruch Hu put every stumbling block in my way, and even the ones that I fell into, and they got me right here, and they got me right here. And even though I deeply regret the avera that I did because this is not the person that I want to be. Yet I also, at the same time, understand that this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm not supposed to be anywhere else. And hevra, if this is true on an individual level on Yom Kippur, then it's true on a national level for Purim. And that's why Yom Kippur is only, as the Zayir says, Yom Kippurim.

20:17 It's not Purim. It's only Yom Kippurim. Because on Yom Kippur we can do it on an individual level. But on Purim we look at Gan Zklal Yisrael, the history of our nation going back all the way to the times of Avram Avinu, and we can see how you could choose to see it as a bunch of fragmented events or you could choose to see the Rebbeinu Sholom in the story. And this is why Purim is a Persian name. We're not trying to make this from a name with some deep hidden message in Loshon Hakodesh. That's not the Yosei. The Yosei of Purim is that it was a Persian story. On every single level, it looks like a political story in a land far away from Eretz Yisroel. It looks like a secular story. There is no divine plan. That's what it looks like on the outside. And that's why the name of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is never found. We only find a reference to it because for a yid

21:09 The way when you a yid reads the Megillah, all he sees is the Rebbeinu Shlomo. He doesn't see political lobbying. He doesn't see APEC. He doesn't see my pack. He doesn't see this pack and that pack. Six Flags. He doesn't see any of these things. That oh, this one gave money and he lobbied this congressman and this congressman to this person and it's not what he sees at all. When a yid sees the word Hamelach, what he sees is the Rebbe Nachman. That's what he sees. And this is what it means that we're fighting against Taman. Because Haman, as we know, is a Malach, and a Malach is famous for Asher Karcha Baderich. They cooled us down when we were on the way. A Yid is living Baderich. Everybody knows Baderich means we're on the way. There's a divine plan, and we're going somewhere. We're headed somewhere on that divine plan. It's a gevul. A Yid lives Baderich.

22:02 A Malach says there is no derech. Asher Karcha Baderich. What derech? There's just a series of fragmented events. One has nothing to do with the other. Stop talking about a plan. At the end of the day, you realize that's the difference between religion and secular. Religion believes in purpose, and therefore everything in the world is part of an evolution to get us to a divine plan. The secular world believes in science. We also believe in science, but they see science as a means by and for itself. That's all it is. I can define this. I can define that. Why? What? Nothing to do with anything. What do you mean? It is what it is. There is no why in the scientific world. We need why something should be. In Yiddishkeit, we talk about a divine plan. It's a very ambitious goal that Yiddishkeit sets for itself. It says, "I'm going to explain." This is what religion says. I'm going to explain everything in the universe, not just in the known universe, but in the unknown universe. It's a very ambitious goal. Somebody once told me they think it's an arrogant goal to be able to say that you understand everything. That's the height of arrogance.

23:05 I said, "You're right." If a human being would say it, it would be the height of arrogance. It requires God Almighty to say it. But we are badeirich, and Hamalek says you're not badeirich. Hashakar ha badeirich. There is no derech. That's why everybody knows that Hamalek is begemachir at Suffolk. They creep that doubt into our life. There's a little bit of doubt. Maybe how do I know? How do I know? At the end of the day, how do I know? Is it maybe it's just all? How do you know? At some point, even when we start to get into it, a little bit of doubt creeps into our mind and we say, "How do I know this is all true?" Usually, it happens when there's an avera that we want. All of a sudden, that suffik comes up. But that's what it is. It's the suffik of saying, "Maybe this is all random." Heard a maisa.

23:54 Very quick maisa, but I think kedai to share with you guys. In 1840, there was a war between Great Britain and China. It's called the Opium War. The Opium War. You know about the Opium War? And they had a fight. Not that war. Now it's legal. First it was decriminalized. Now it's legal. Used to be our joints had to hurt. Now nobody's joints have to hurt. Now everyone can just the OU is going to give it a hash. There was an Opium War. Very rare, don't know. But because of this war, they had to figure out a way to make peace. So they made a place called Shanghai, and Shanghai was an international territory. Very, very little visa restrictions. It happened in 1840. Did anybody at the time understand why there was such a war? Why the Rebbeinu Shalom needed such a war to take place? Nobody knew.

24:48 Only in 1940, when Mir Yeshiva was trying to get out of Europe to avoid the Nazis, Yimach Shemam. So were they able? Bederchneis. I'm not going to get into the whole story right now. But Bederchneis, they were able to travel to Shanghai, China. And in that way, the whole Mir Yeshiva was saved. From the Altar Mirrors, most of Chinuch, most of Torah that we have in America today came through the mirror, coming through Shanghai and Eretz Yisrael also. So from that story of an opium war in 1840, The Mir Yeshiva was able to get to Shanghai, and from there, Gedolim like Rav Shmuel Berenbaum were able to come to America and replant Torah in America. Chassid Levenstein was able to come first to America and then to Eretz Yisrael and to restart Torah in Eretz Yisrael. Rav Chaim Shmuel Levitz, Rav Nachum Persovitch, all the Gedolei Ham of the Mir were able to escape. Why? Because there was an opium war in 1840. In 1840, what did the newspaper headlines say?

25:50 In 1840, it said that there was a war about opium. In Shomayim, what was the headline? This is going to be the Yeshua. A hundred years from now, this is how Mir Yeshiva is going to be saved. You could choose to read the narrative in two ways. And this never is why we wear costumes on Purim. We don't chas v'shalom wear costumes, as Rav Lovie says to his shear. Any costume that involves a coconut is azer. Or two coconuts, or any round thing. We don't chas v'shalom wear costumes like that. Even though there is a conversation in the Pesachim about whether or not you could wear women's clothing. But we wear costumes. Why do we wear costumes? We wear costumes because we have to understand when you wear a costume, you're a character in a story. That's what it means to wear a costume.

26:34 I'm wearing a character. I'm going to dress up as. I saw my nephew in America. He's going to dress up as Spiderman. Other nieces are dressing up as Wonder Woman. All sorts of things. But you know what? It's a costume. We have to understand we're a character in a story, and it's not always the story that we think we're living that's actually going on. And this is why we drink. Nichnas yai ne'asasod. How do we drink? We only drink like bnei Torah. We don't drink to get plaster. We drink like bnei Torah. And chaver, you know what comes out when you drink? The real story. You ever want to know what's really going on in a person's life? You find that when they drink. The deepest secret that's going on inside of all of us is that there's a whole other narrative. There's a whole other narrative that's going on inside of us. So nichnas yai ne'asasod. We bring up that other narrative. And this is why the Rambam says when we give matanos l'avyonim amporim, we give matanos l'avyonim to be daimel eshchina. Give matanos l'avyonim because it's a mitzvah. Give matanos l'avyonim because that's the simchas ayom. What does the Rambam mean when he says doyma l'shchina? The Rambam wasn't a poet. When the Rambam says something, he means it. It's halachah la'maisa.

27:36 But this is the aside. We're living a whole new story. We're living the shchina story. We're living dira b'tachtayinim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu down in this world. What's really going on? That's why it's doyma l'shchina, not doyma l'hakadosh Baruch Hu. Shchina means Hakadosh Baruch Hu in this world. And as we said the other night, This is why it says. Umi odaya im lais kadosi gat la malchus. This is what Mordechai says to Esther. Umi odaya, who knows? Who knows what's really going on in the story? The story right now we only see it over here. But umi odaya, there's a certain doubt that we all have that we live with. What's really going on? Umi odaya, maybe this is the moment. And now with all of this, we can get back to the story of Esther and Mordechai. Esther and the Chachamim, rather. What was the machloket between Esther and the Chachamim? Esther said, "Kesunu la'dayim. Write it down for generations. I want everybody to know." The Chachamim say, "What do you mean? We're going to upset all the dayim." Esther says, "The dayim already know. What's the hezbra machloket? What's deeper going on?" The Tert says, Rabbi Yisrael. The dayim did not have a problem with the victory of the Yidden in the story of Purim. You know why? Because when they looked at it, they saw nothing divine about the story.

28:52 All they saw was politics. That's what the Ga'anim saw. So the Chachamim said, 'Why are you going to come tell them the story? That really, this is all part of the divine plan. That's going to upset them. Let them live with their political story. You know what a guy was thinking, Yehudah, on that year. He was thinking one thing. Beseder. Amalek lost. Haman lost.' It happened to be that Klal Yisrael had a queen in the castle. The seder, what's the big deal? Esther Amalke, you want to come along and you want to say what's really going on? Shh, anti-Semitism. As the modern maxim goes, a Jew lives by the phrase incognito ergo sum. I'm hidden, therefore I am. That's the way Jews lived for so many years. I have nothing to say. Be quiet, stiller, hate. Be in the background. Esther Amalca says, "No, that's not the job of a Jew. The job of a Jew is not to leave the world alone and to be quiet. That's not the job of a Jew. This is Geula. You know Purim is a shtick story of the Geula."

29:56 That's why Purim is the one that lasts. Purim is the Geula. The job of a Jew in Geula is to scream to the world and say, 'What's Esther? What's hidden? That's why the word Megillas Esther means to reveal what's hidden.' So comes along Esther Hamalka and says to the Chachamim, Start talking. Kesvu ni la dairis. Tell them, tell the world that it's about the Rebbeinu Sholom. Tell everybody that it's about the Rebbeinu Sholom. Forget anti-Semitism. And Chebra, who's the one that we paskins that we have to tell the story from the very beginning, In order because even right It looks fragmented. It looks like it's just a story of Achashverosh telling a party. He threw a great party with an unbelievable banquet, unbelievable food, and unbelievable jewelry, and unbelievable cutlery. Everything was there, and the gardens and the music. Rav Meir comes along and says that's also part of the story. Why is it Rav Meir? Because the word Meir means to illuminate.

30:49 And Chaver, for this you need a little bit of background. Who was Rav Meir's Rebbe? His name was Eliezer ben Avuya. Eliezer ben Avuya went up, went off the derech, and everybody knows the story. He was one of the four people that went to Parades. For those that learned with Reshfiner, it's the story of this year. It's a very deep story. And Acher goes off the derech, and Acher continues to teach Torah. And who's the only Talmud that goes to Acher Shiyurim that has Rishus to go to Acher Shiyurim? It's Rav Meir. And they said to Rav Meir, "Why are you going to the Shiyurim?" He said, "I know how to separate. I know how to separate the wheat from the chaff. I could tell you what's the good stuff and what's the bad stuff." That's Rav Meir's kayach. Rav Meir's kayach is to illuminate, to be able to say what's real and what's not real. But now, in order to really understand this chavur, we have to go a little bit backwards. Why did Acher go off the derech?

31:39 Taisu records a conversation between Rav Meir and Elisha ben Avuya. Rav Meir says to Elisha ben Avuya, 'He says to Acher, "Why are you going off the derech?"' Elisha ben Avuya says, 'You have to understand, I was always meant to go off the derech. How do you know?' By my bris, My father Avuya. You guys remember this? By my bris, My father Avuya. He made the bris, and some of the Tannaim were learning there. Two of the Tannaim were learning, and a heavenly fire came down from Shamayim and was about to consume the entire house. It was surrounding the entire house, and everyone yelled at them to stop because it was going to destroy the house. My father was so impressed with the kiyach of Torah that he said, "I'm going to dedicate my son to Torah." But was it lishma? He wanted the parlor check. He wanted the awesomeness of the heavenly fire. He didn't want a kadosh baruch hu. So says Eliezer ben Avu. You see how messed up I am.

32:33 I was already messed up from the very beginning. That's why. Who is it that writes in the Mishnah Avos? Who says that when you learn when you're young, it's like you wrote on a fresh paper, but when you learn when you're old, it's like you wrote on an erased paper. When you learn when you're older, it's harder to see it. It's harder to be clear. Who is it that says that? It's Eliezer Ben Abuya because Eliezer Ben Abuya always says, 'Look, you got to go back to when you were young. If you were messed up when you're young, you're going to be messed up when you're old.' Ask Freud. That's what Freud's whole thing was about. If you're messed up when you're young, you're going to be messed up when you're old. Comes the longer of Meyer, and he says Chas v'Shalom to say something like that. Just because you grew up in a certain way, that's one story. But you always have a deeper story. You can be an illuminated story, a story that says that's not who you need to be. And that's why Chebra. Anybody know where Rav Meir descended from?

33:22 Rav Meir's great grandfather was a Roman Emperor Nero Who was Masekher? He was a convert. Rav Meir was saying, Eliezer ben Abuya. You come from a father who wanted a cool parlor trick to have a heavenly fire consume your house. I come from Rome. What could be worse than that? I come from Rome. And not just any Roman, a Roman emperor, Nero. But I chose to lead a different life. I chose a different story. How do you choose to see the world? Says Rav Mayer. Some people choose to see the world in fragments. Some people choose to see the world history. I'm going to put everything together. A yid says, I want to know the deepest story. I want to know what's really going on. And with this, we understand why Rav Mayer died on the 14th of Iyar. Chaver, what was the 14th of Iyar? Anybody know? It's Pesach Sheni. What's the halacha of Pesach Sheni, Chaver? If you missed the carbon Pesach on Yudalad b'Nissan, don't worry. You can make it up on Yudalad b'Yer. How can you make it up? You missed it. It's not the 14th of Nissan anymore. Says Rav Meir. Only if you choose to see it that way. Only if you choose to say it's over and I made a mistake and I can't come back. Rav Meir is the bechira of illuminating that underneath everything. Even then, when you wanted to be bringing the carbon

34:39 You couldn't bring the carbon. Don't worry. There's another chance. There's another story. We have to lead an illuminated life. And this explains the halacha Hakariy Lam Megillah Afreya Lo Yotze. If you read the Megillah backwards, you're not Yotze. Chaver, what in the world does that mean to read the Megillah backwards? Who could read the Megillah? How could you read the Megillah backwards? You open up a Megillah and you read every word in the wrong order? Hakariy Lam Megillah Afreya means that you tell the story like this. If you tell the story of Megillah Esther to your children in the following way, you're not Yotze. What's the way you could tell it? You could say it like this. Guys, in the end of this story, it's all going to work out. Let me explain to you how it worked out. There was a geula. You know why there was a geula? There was a geula because when Haman came, Esther already was there in the palace. How did Esther get in the palace? Because Achashveirosh killed Vashti. How did Achashveirosh kill Vashti? Because there was a party. That's Hakariel Megilah Bafreil Oyatzu. You're telling the story already from the point of geula. That's not how a Jew lives. A Jew lives that in the moment of gullus, he's already living in geula. What gullus? A Jew is not bound by gullus.

35:43 Like a muscle of a man who has his face up to a beautiful painting. If you have your face up to the painting, you can't see the beauty of the painting. Some people say, "I'll only understand the beauty of the painting when I step back." No, that's not the way the yid sees it. The yid says, "You're right. I can't see that it's a beautiful painting, but I have something bigger than seeing. I have emuna." Emuna is bigger than seeing. In the world today, they say seeing is better than believing, and in Yiddishkeit we say believing is better than seeing. I believe in that which I cannot understand. That's what Emuna means. So you're right. I have my face up to the painting. Uman noim geyraleno. How beautiful is my geyrul? How could you say how pleasant is my geyrul? Right now you're in the middle of Dallas. Right now you can't see it. Uman noim geyraleno. What do you mean I can't see it? Doesn't matter if I see it or not. There's a rabbanishelem. And this is what it means, La Yehudim Haysoira. La Yehudim Haysoira means that the Yidden lived with that Rivmeir de Galit. They lived in an illuminated life. They were able to see beneath the surface. Right now, I can't see anything.

36:46 But underneath the surface, I know there's a story going on. So you know how a Yid reads the Megillah? Vayehibi mei Chashveros. A Yeshua for Yidden. Huachashveros. A Yeshua for Yidden. Vashdi, a Yeshua for Yidden. Haman, a Yeshua for Yidden. And that's why they were Yidden in the Holocaust, that the Mamish were able to hold their Amunah. And again, Chassidim, we don't judge anybody, but they were Yidden that were able to live in that moment and say a Yeshua for Yidden. Because they weren't living with what's fragmented right in front of them. They lived with a plan. They lived with purpose. They understand the Rebbeinu Shlom had them for a reason. Why? Who the Maaseir of the Simcha? That's where Simcha comes from. Simcha comes from the knowledge that I'm not leading a fragmented life. That's why the Rambam says, if you tell someone that an event happened randomly, you're an achzari, you're a cruel person. What does it mean you're a cruel person? Because if you take away purpose from somebody, it means you're taking away the essence of their whole life.

37:44 That's the ultimate cruelty. Because a person can come and say it's a tragedy. Say there, it's a tragedy. It's a tragedy. Say there, it's a tragedy. There's two ways of saying it, and both are true. It is a terrible tragedy. It's also part of the Rebbeinu Shalom's plan. If there's no Rebbeinu Shalom, I don't know how you could live that way. How could you live? They tell the Ma'aseh of a rabbi who had a doctor, and the doctor was even though he was Jewish. He was a self-hating Jew. And always the doctor was trying to give him a hard time. Unfortunately, the doctor's father passed away. So this rabbi came to be Menachem Mavil. Came to be Menachem Mavol. And the doctor said to him, "I'm a man of science. You're a man of religion. But I have to tell you, in this moment, I wish I was a man of religion. Why? Because as a man of science, I have nothing to say. But as a man of religion, you could understand that even though right now we don't understand why, but we at least know that there is a why. So that's what it means."