Purim - Esther Hamlka: Changing the Nature of our Relationship With Hashem

2:28 Certain things in our community, because of the alcohol abuse that has become prevalent in the greater culture, have seeped their way into our community. Today, Simchas Torah is Purim. And let's areinu Purim for many has become like a St. Patrick's Day, where people are just mamish losing their mind in a state of inebriation, which is bechelal, not the mitzvah of Purim. Purim has become a yomtiv. Again, I'm speaking in a very straight way because I think there are certainly people here that need the validation. It's become a yomtiv where you have la'alenu, you have boys that are acting completely inappropriately in the streets, and you have women that are basically running for their lives. I remember we had a couple years ago in our neighborhood We had a woman that basically locked herself in her room because of everything that was happening. She was extremely frightened.

3:17 And this is not the nature of Purim. Purim, although it's become this very masculine holiday where the women are basically meant to be doing God knows what on Purim. If anything, it's really the opposite. Purim is called Megillah Esther, the name of the Yom Tif And the Sefer of the Yom Tif, the feminine redemption. That is the entire story. It's not a story really about Mordechai the Tzaddik. It's really a story about Esther and Malka. How can we, in a certain way today, try to frame Purim in a way that's more organic, in a way that's more natural, in the way that Purim was supposed to be? In order to understand this, we need to have a conversation about what masculine and feminine really mean. The world today is begging for such a conversation. Kisif se'kohen yishmerudas. The nature of the Jew is that we are meant to be teachers. That's what we're supposed to be in the world. A Jew is supposed to be a teacher. We are the Kohanim, we are Mamlachas Kohanim VeGoy Kadosh And Kisif SeKohen Yishmerudas means that the Kohanim are the keepers of the knowledge. Behind it's our job to educate the world, which is what Klal Yisrael has been doing for thousands of years. It's been hard to educate the world because the world has been trying to kill us.

4:32 Think about the world as a really rambunctious student. So it's hard to teach a world that has pogroms and crusades and holocausts and October seventh. It's very difficult to teach the world. But it is our responsibility to teach the world. We were given a Torah in order to communicate the values of Torah to the world, and in that way, we transform the world. At the very end, which is where we are right now, we're at the very, very end of this entire story. Everything that is most essential comes under fire. So today in the world, there's conversations around what is marriage, what is sexuality, what is gender. All of these conversations are the conversations that you need to have in the final moments before Mashiach comes, because we need to finish up all the work. All the things that were obvious for thousands of years are no longer obvious.

5:28 And the world is waiting for Klal Yisrael to reveal what is the true nature of masculinity and what is the true nature of femininity. Because if we don't teach the world what these things mean, then the world is going to think that masculinity and femininity are about gender, and it's not true. Masculinity and femininity have nothing to do with gender. These are movements. These are ways of being. And if we don't have this conversation, the world will continue to propel itself to where it's going right now. So it's incumbent upon us to teach the world right now. And that means to clarify for ourselves deeply what these terms actually mean. The next thing that's coming is what is the nature of human. What does it mean to be human? If you're looking at AI today, there's already conversations in the world about what does it mean to be a human being, because AI is already able not only to replicate but to do so many of the things that human beings can do. AI can already do them better.

6:32 And so these changes happen very fast. And if we're not learning Torah at a very deep level, and we don't have the real answers to these questions, we're failing in our mission to teach the world and to role model for the world what these things actually are. Today we'll do a little bit of a deep dive into the nature of masculinity and femininity. The world has two parts to it. Two parts to history. There's the first part of history and the second part of history. The first part of history is the masculine part of history. The second part of history is the feminine part of history. What that means is as follows: Up until the time of the story of Purim, the world in its nature was masculine. Purim is the beginning, the end of that period, and the beginning of the next period, where the world enters into a feminine reality. What does this mean?

7:27 To be masculine means to move from above to below. It means that there is a hashpah. You definitely do not need to be nervous about interrupting us with this beautiful baby. Let him scream, let him cry. It's beautiful that women come to shiurim with little children. The Gemara talks about that there were great rabbanim that were brought to the bais medrash. I don't know if your husband was willing to bring your son as a boy. It's all in blue, so if it's not. I don't know if your son is willing, if your husband is willing to bring your son to the beis medrash. But the cooing of a child in a sheir is a very beautiful thing. Thank you for bringing him. He should be zaycheh from a sheir like this to grow up to have a proper purn. To be masculine means to move from above to below, to be mashpia unto something other than itself. That's the nature of masculinity.

8:23 Up until the times of Purim Everything about this world was masculine. Overtly miraculous ways of being That Hakadosh Baruch Hu would split the sea, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu would come down to Har Sinai. These are all overtly masculine ways of being. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is influencing the world from above to below. In the first Beis Hamikdash All the miracles in the Beis Hamikdash were revealed miracles. The feeling that one gets when they're in a position where there's a masculine hashpa upon them is that they are overwhelmed. They're overwhelmed by the reality of that truth. For example, at Har Sinai, Hakadosh Baruch Hu reveals Himself bechvaydoyu v'atzmai And Klal Yisrael had no choice but to receive the Torah because the truth of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence was so overwhelming, it would have been impossible for us to do anything but receive the truth. This is what the Baal Kabbalah explained was happening when the Gemara says that Hakadosh Baruch Hu turned the mountain upside down and held it over Klal Yisrael and said, 'Accept the Torah, and if not, I'll kill you.'

9:37 So when we learn this Gemara, when we're younger, we think what it means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu threatened us, 'I'll kill you if you don't accept the Torah.' This is not what it means. Hakadosh Baruch Hu would never threaten us with death. What it means is we had simply no choice but to accept the Torah because our Kadosh Baruch Hu's reality was so clear to us. It's the equivalent of it would be impossible. Though I don't recommend trying this at home. It's the equivalent of it would be impossible to take a knife and to stab yourself for no reason. The truth of that being such a foolish thing to do would not allow a person to do this. The reason I say don't try this at home is I once gave a she'er like this and I told one of the I told the boys in she'er I said none of you would be able to stab me for no reason.

10:28 I'm gonna make a long story short, but I didn't get stabbed a hundred percent. But I did get stabbed a little bit. I know it sounds like I'm not gonna say any of the details, but it's not. If you're ever giving a she'er and you try to give this as an example, don't make it like a practical example. Don't say, 'By all means, go ahead, stab me in the jugular.' There might be one kid in the class who's willing to go a little bit farther than anybody else. Baruch Hashem, I'm okay. I live to tell the tale. But in the general sense, the truth—by the way, this is why it's important to teach boys. This is literally what will happen if we don't teach them. In a general sense, Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes down to the world, and His presence is so overwhelming that we have no choice. We have no choice but to accept his reality as truth. That's why, by Kriyas Yamsuf, the truth of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence was so clear that every single person had nevuah. The Gemara says that even a shifcha alayam Even a maid servant had nevuah greater than Yecheskel Bambozi. That even an uber bameimo, even a fetus in its mother's womb was having nevuah. What does it mean that they were having nevuah? It means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence was so overwhelming that they had no choice but to accept this as truth.

11:45 There's a lot of positives to this, but there are some negatives. The positive of being overwhelmed by truth is that it forces us to act in a particular way. For example, if let's say Chassvah Sholom, you knew someone who was a serious drug addict. And you call them in for an intervention. And you show them the truth of how they're hurting people. If you show them the truth of how they're hurting themselves. In a moment of inspiration and clarity, they might choose to go to rehab. The challenge, of course, is: did they really own the decision? Did they really own the decision, or were they overwhelmed by how many people have told them, "Look at what you're doing to yourself and to others around you"? Did they enter into rehab from a place of being inspired, or did the seed actually break open completely, which would allow the tree to grow? There is an advantage. It's a very dangerous thing to do, but there is an advantage to somebody deciding on their own to reach out and get help.

12:51 The advantage is that they're so broken that they literally have no choice but to reach out and get help. And the nature of their sobriety fundamentally changes because now their sobriety is not something that was influenced upon them, but their sobriety is something that they 100% own. They've broken down to the degree that now they have no choice but to change their lives. So the masculine energy of influencing someone to do something that's true and to do something that's good for them—it's always our initial movement. But there is a chisaron. There's something that's lacking. Even when you get someone to do the right thing, the fact that they haven't owned it completely because it didn't come from within them, it wasn't a movement that was nurtured from within. There's something that's fundamentally lacking. So far so good. Does make sense? Purim represents. The beginning of a completely different type of movement in the world.

13:56 The second Beis Hamikdash does not have nevuah, nor does it have the overt miracles that the first Beis Hamikdash had. It's the end of the era of prophecy. It's the end of the era of nevuah. It's the beginning, as we'll see soon. It's the beginning of the era of chachma. It's the movement from a monologue to a dialogue. And this is why this shift now of maturity in our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, not just as individuals, but historically, is fundamental. Up until the point of Purim, Hakadosh Baruch Hu was speaking to us And at that time, the experience of a Jew was: When do we get to speak back to you? Post Purim and a post Purim reality, we have the exact opposite complaint now. What is? What are all the kids saying? How come I don't get to see Kriyas Yamsuf? How come I don't get to experience Har Sinai? How come I daven and I feel like no one's listening or no one's talking back?

15:01 I'm yearning for the prophetic experience that there was before Nevuah was over. It's an interesting type of thing. If you're in a conversation with someone, when they're speaking, you're waiting to get a word in. When they create space for us, we might feel their absence in a very deep way, because in order to give us the opportunity to speak, the other has to pull themselves back. That's why sometimes you have a conversation with your husband where it goes like this: you're talking, and he's quietly listening, and he's not giving you anything. You know that move? I know that move. I've perfected that move. Please don't tell him. I've perfected. I have a relative in the crowd. I've perfected that move. I don't think she listens to the recordings online, so I could say I've perfected the move like this. And then, always in a conversation where someone pulls themselves back to allow the other to speak, in the space of that absence, there's something very uncomfortable. Are you here with me? Do you have something that you want to say? We almost invite the other to speak.

16:07 History is divided into two parts. The first part of history, up until Purim, was when Hakadosh Baruch Hu was revealed in the world. He was speaking. The feeling at that time was, when is it our time to speak? So Hakadosh Baruch Hu now says it's time to move from a monologue to a dialogue. Moving from a monologue to a dialogue means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has to pull himself back. There has to be a hester panim. There has to be no more nevuah. No more overt miraculous reality, in order to give us the opportunity to say something back to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So the new movement that exists in our world and is now this movement is reaching its apex right now in these final moments before Mashiach. Is this notion not from above to below, but below to above? Nurturing something from within, allowing something to break down completely to reveal its inner form. The acorn already has the oak tree inside of it, but the acorn needs to shatter completely to allow the oak tree to become an oak tree. That's a much more feminine movement.

17:13 Always in history Redemption is feminine and not masculine. Always in history, redemption is feminine and not masculine. Why? For example, in Mitzrayim. So we know bishvil nashim tzedkaniyos nigalumi mitsrayim. The Gemara says, and the merit of righteous women, we were redeemed from Mitzrayim. What does this mean? It would not have been possible to only have masculine redemption. Because masculine redemption would mean that it wasn't truly revealed. It never came to its full fruition. Let's say lamashal by Pesach. Hakadosh Baruch Hu takes us out of Mitzrayim. That's very masculine. We were completely undeserving, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu takes us out of Mitzrayim. What does it mean then, Bishvil Nashim Cedkanios? It means that the movement of being able to take us out of Mitzrayim was only because Klal Yisrael was being held in a feminine posture. There were the women of Mitzrayim holding space for the breaking to occur.

18:20 That's what was happening the entire time. That we were in Mitzrayim and that everything was falling apart, the women with their emuna was holding it together. When I say holding it together, I mean allowing it to fall apart with safety. Allowing something to completely shatter and knowing it's okay for something to fall apart. This is a very big movement happening today in the world of chinuch. It used to be that in the world of chinuch, we were almost—I'm going to use a word, and I do mean it like this, but just maybe not as dramatic. It used to be in the world of chinuch that we were, from a sense of desperation, if a kid was doing inappropriate things, we'd be like, we can't allow him to do this. There's been a big shift, if you haven't noticed, in the last 20 years of chinuch or so. A big shift to say, let's see what happens if we allow young men and young women to make mistakes. What happens if we hold space for them and let them know that they're okay? What happens if we allow our children to have a voice to express what it is that they're feeling?

19:24 Even if we, with our masculine energy, know that the thing they're saying is absolutely ridiculous. We have a lot of young women in the crowd today. We have some people that are a little bit older. This is the avoda of parenting teenagers today. Parenting teenagers means taking one giant deep breath. Allowing your children to say things that are absolutely absurd Absolutely absurd. If you think back to some of the insane things that you said when you were fifteen, sixteen, seventeen years old to your parents about your parents. They said, 'Okay, let's see how this plays out for you.' That's a very beautiful, feminine way of educating our children. Of course, we have to have a balance of both. Today we usually slide between one pole and the other. We don't really know how to balance it. You find institutions that are very much like, I'm going to hold space for you to do whatever you want, no boundaries, just be whoever you are. Or we find institutions that are very boundaryed, that don't know how to allow for kids to have a part in the conversation. Really, the balance is both. But there's no doubt that in these final moments before Mashiach coming, we're in a posture right now where we have to hold more space for people to come into being from within themselves.

20:41 Not necessarily the again. There's nothing wrong with giving the passionate, inspiring shmuhs, but if the passionate, inspiring shmuhs overwhelms the child, and now they are like doing it because they're coming from like, well, what do you mean? This is what I'm supposed to do. This is what's true. If we don't allow people to make mistakes, that's also a very dangerous thing. What's the value in doing this? The value in doing this is. Really, a pasuk in Zecharia and a pasuk in Tehillim But we're going to go. Mrs. Hirsch said we're going to go a little deep, so now we're going to go a little deep. Goes like this: the pasuk says, "V'hoyah la'is erev yehor." That's the pasuk in Zecharia. David Melach says, "V'layla kayom yair." What does this mean? So the Navi Zecharia says, at evening time there'll be light Meaning in the night time there'll be light.

21:33 Vaila ki yom yair means that the night will shine like day. Listen carefully to the difference between these pesukim and the pesuk in Shmuel Beis. The pesuk in Shmuel Beis says, "V'Hashem yagia chashri" That our Kadosh Baruch Hu will illuminate my darkness. What's the difference between these two sets of pesukim? It goes as follows: There are two ways of thinking about the darkness. One way of thinking about the darkness is that the darkness is dark. And if we want to illuminate the darkness, it has to be illuminated from the outside. That's the pasuk in Shmuel. Shmuel Beis is saying as follows: Fundamentally, the world is dark. But our Kadosh Baruch Hu comes and He shines His light in the darkness. That is one level, but it is a lower level. That's the level of the addict being in his state of addiction, being called in by his friends and his family, and He's being illuminated with the truth.

22:30 But there is, however, a much deeper reality. This is the reality of Olam Haba. The beauty of Olam Haba is not that the darkness is eliminated. The beauty of Olam Haba is that the darkness itself shines. And we don't understand what this means because when we think about darkness, we think darkness means darkness. Darkness is not light. So how could darkness shine? But the MS is that if you study Kabbalah, you'll learn that really darkness is not the absence of light. Darkness is a light that's waiting to be revealed. That's the nature of darkness. Darkness is not the absence of light. Darkness is light, but the way that darkness is expressing itself in this current iteration of reality is that darkness has not yet revealed its light. This is why, when we ask the question, why do bad things happen to good people? In Kabbalah, the answer to that question, obviously, nobody knows why anything happened, and this not in any way to minimize human suffering. This is just a hashkafa. You would never walk into a shiva home and go, 'They're in a better place,' or 'This happened for a reason.' Those are cruel things to say. You should not say them. But for us, for a hashkafa. In Tanya, the Alter Rebbe speaks about the idea that the worst things that come into the world actually come from the highest places.

23:56 The reason they come into the world in such a painful way is because that is the darkness that has not yet revealed its illuminated nature. In Olam Habah, the reason why everything makes sense is because the darkness at that point will be revealed. When we speak about the, I'm sure many of you have learned this Chazal before that there was a fight between the sun and the moon, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu minimized the moon, but in Olam Habah the moon will come back and the moon itself will shine. What do these things mean? How could the moon shine? The moon is not a celestial body that shines. The sun shines. The moon doesn't shine. The moon simply reflects the light of the sun. It's not true. What really happened there? Was that Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, 'Your light—it's not yet time for it to shine. I need to minimize the light that's embedded in the darkness because there needs to be something called darkness in this world.'

24:51 The avoda of a yid—this is the punchline of the shir—the avoda of a yid is to bring the world to its ultimate fruition, which is Olam Habah, and that means that the avoda of a yid is to reveal not the light that will conquer the darkness, but to reveal the light within the darkness. This cannot happen from masculine energy. Masculine energy is a light that comes from outside, illuminating the darkness. It diminishes the darkness. The light that comes from within the darkness means that we need to cultivate the darkness so that it will finally allow itself to shine. This is a completely different avodah. Vinafohu means that the entire story appears to be something that it's really not. In the end, everything was flipped on its head. What does vinafohu mean in our generation? So the Navi tells us in the keva tosovev gaver. What does it mean the keva tosovev gaver? That in the end of days, the women will circle the man. This is why when you got married, you walked around your husband seven times. Before your husband came with his masculine energy and married you, Ki yikach ish isha. The nature of marriage is masculine. The man is taking the woman. But before that happened, there was a moment where you walked around your husband seven times. Why did you need to do that?

26:19 Because even though the marriage itself has the contours of masculinity, the essence of the marriage has to be feminine. Meaning, the ultimate end of the marriage is that there has to be a feminine movement within the marriage. The kevut tosovei gever means that at the end of days, the feminine power in the world—we're not talking about males and females now, because there are men with feminine energy and there are women with masculine energy—but in the end of days, the feminine energy cannot be contained anymore. It has to explode onto the scene in a very active way. Even though the nature of it is internal, the feminine force needs to be present in a very real way today. And this is the distortion of secular feminism. The movement of secular feminism has its roots in something very kadosh. It's part of this process of feminine energy coming onto the scene.

27:13 But where secular feminism fell off is that secular feminism seeks to create equality between the masculine and the feminine. And where Jewish femininity is saying the power of femininity actually needs to be above masculinity, that in these moments before Mashiach comes, the nature of this energy needs to be on steroids. It can't be hidden anymore. Remember that femininity does not mean being kept inside. It means being internal. There's a difference between inside and internal. Inside is that old vision, which was never our vision. It was never a Jewish vision of a woman playing a role where she was basically relegated to the sidelines. That's never been the vision of women in Judaism. Devorah was a shofetess. If you go through Miriam Hanavia, Sarah was a greater prophetess than Avraham Avinu. If you go through the Mamari Chazal, it's clear that Judaism has always held a very special place for women because femininity was always something that we prized. Rav Meiselman from Torah Moshe made the hara years ago that the Rambam, when he speaks about why When the Rambam speaks about why women are not allowed to testify, the Rambam brings that halacha down in the same halacha that a king is also not allowed to testify.

28:29 Why is a king not allowed to testify? Because to be cross-examined is denigrating. And so we would never put a king up on the stand to be prosecuted by the judges, so that he is made to look like a fool, and in the very same way, we would never put a woman up on the stand, not because she's incapable of testifying, but because it would denigrate the sacred feminine. And so Yiddishkeit has always put femininity on a pedestal. It's good that the world is trending in this direction. It's bad that we are not having this conversation in a more vocal way, so that our daughters are growing up with this concept that when we say 'kol kodo basmelech sneias,' that's not meant to be a shmoos on sneias. I know everybody here, on some level, grew up with sneias trauma. You're not allowed to say the word sneias anymore because sneias has become so like it's become like a bat that kids are beaten over the head with. 'Kol kodo basmelech penima' means that we're meant to teach the women of our generation that the nature of women is your basmelech.

29:30 And B, that energy is internal. So you have to cultivate the internal energy, not to hold it back for yourself, but to use that energy to explode onto the scene, so that the oak will actually grow from the acorn. This is why Megillas Esther represents the first Yom Tov Terabban. It's the end of Torah Shabbachsav and the beginning of Torah Shabbalpeh. Did you know that the Gemara speaks about how it wasn't so obvious that Megillas Esther was going to become part of Tanach? Esther Amalca had to fight for Megillas Esther to be part of Tanach. What was that machlokus really about? Because Megillas Esther lives in this duality where it's sort of the end of Torah shebechsav and the beginning of Torah shebalpeh. To what universe does it belong? Because Torah shebalpeh is actually feminine in its nature. Torah shebechsav is what Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives to us. Torah shebalpeh is what we take in, and then we nurture that Torah so that we can discover it in all of its richness. That's why even the gematria of Torah is six hundred and eleven.

30:34 Which is the gematria of bechsav and balpeh. If you only have the bechsav, you are lacking in Torah. If you only have the balei, you're lacking in Torah. It's together, both the masculine and the feminine Torah that make up all of Torah. Without the feminine nurturing of Torah into being, we're lacking in Torah itself. And this is what it means, la yehudim hay sa'ora. Why is ora in the feminine form? We say kiner mitzvah v'torah or, or is always masculine. Why in the Megillah do we say la yehudim hay sa'ora? Because the nature of Torah now in a post-Peru reality is there's no more Torah from above. There's no more Nivua coming down into this world telling us what to do. It's up to us now to take the Torah that we've learned and to nurture it so that we understand everything that's happening in the world today.

31:28 Which is why today, a chacham is aduf mi navi, that today wisdom is valued as greater than prophecy itself. Because prophecy, if I had a prophecy, I wouldn't have to do any work. I don't know if you know this, but the Rambam writes that there used to be local communal nevi'im. When I was growing up, I thought there were maybe two or three nevi'im in every generation. It's not true. There were thousands of nevi'im. Just because not every navi wrote something meant to be passed down from generation to generation. But the Rambam speaks about local naviim that you would go to. If you didn't know what was going on in the world, you would go to your local navi. He would fly up to Shamayim. He'd come there and tell you what was going on in the world. Today, nevuah is replaced with what the Rambam calls ruach hakodesh. Ruach hakodesh means not that there's a conversation from above that the navi is meant to bring down into this world, but it's actually the opposite. Ruach hakodesh is a type of listening inside of yourself to the godly message that exists within yourself and to bring it out.

32:35 I'll share with you a fascinating conversation that I had many years ago. Of all the places to be inspired from, this was by far the wildest place. I had a conversation with an Australian woman. Not Jewish. She was a recovering addict. And I was speaking on some whatever and this Australian, not Jewish, woman was in the crowd. And we were talking about prayer because in the world of In the world of addiction, having a conscious contact with God and actually being prayerful is really important. And so I gave my little talk on tefillah, and this woman comes over to me afterwards and she says to me, Rabbi, you did a lot of framing prayer as talking to God. I said, And she goes, When do you listen? So I didn't know what she meant by that. I don't really listen to God because God doesn't speak anymore in the world. We're not in the period of prophecy anymore. And I, with you, was wondering if I was hearing from a psychotic woman who was having visions from above.

33:44 And she was like having a conversation with God. She's like, When do you listen to God? So I said, I don't know what you mean. So she said, For me, and this is an exceptionally powerful idea, she said, For me, I close my eyes. After I say what I need to say. And I listen to the godly voice that wells up inside of me. So she said, and it was very brilliant. She said, my life is always better when I listen to that voice, and my life is always worse when I ignore it. And I was like, that is an incredible thing. And I started talking to her. I'm like, tell me what it looks like. It's like a meditation. She's like, no, you already have all the answers to your questions. Every one of us has a godly intuition that we're not paying attention to. And what she discovered on her journey was, if I listen, there's a notion that Akedat Shem Baruch Hu's voice lives within me. So I was so inspired by this, but I wasn't yet ready to accept it as real, just because you know the source is an interesting source.

34:47 So I need to know if this is a Torah concept. So I went to my rebbe. And I asked my rebbe if there is an idea like this in Yiddishkeit. So my rebbe said, Mordechai, that's what Ruach Hakodesh is. Ruach Hakodesh is when a person becomes so deeply aligned with God consciousness that lives within them, they allow the Torah to come up from inside, and then they bring that into the world. In other words, when we're learning Torah, the way that we're meant to be learning Torah, which is radically different than the way that Torah was learned. From Hakadosh Baruch Hu to Moshe Rabbeinu and R' Sinai. Moshe Rabbeinu and R' Sinai came down and he said, 'This is truth.' And every one of us went like this: It's clearly truth. It came from Moshe Rabbeinu. It spoke to us in such a deep way that it overwhelmed us. Hakadosh Baruch Hu pulled back, so to speak, that truth now, and he says, 'What comes up within yourself? What's the nature of your relationship with Torah?' Which is why today so many people are having such beautiful, obviously again within the 70 lane highway of Yiddishkeit.

35:49 You can't go into that 71st lane, but within the 70 lanes of Yiddishkeit. There is a frame here. We get to draw our own creative picture, but there are boundaries to this thing. These are the boundaries of Moshe Rabenu that Moshe Rabenu drew for us at Sinai. And of course, everything that we're machadish was already said to Moshe Rabbeinu at Har Sinai. But it's up to us individuals now to look at Torah in our own unique and creative way. One of the—I don't like to say negative things, but I—I want to speak this idea out because I think it's—it's fundamental. One of the saddest things that we have in the educational system today, and it wasn't always like this The way that we teach now is the teacher teaches, and the job of the student is to spit back the information that the teacher teaches. There's no notion of creativity in learning.

36:42 And this bothered me as a child very much. It bothered me because it doesn't really make sense to me that Hakadosh Baruch Hu. When I was a kid, it doesn't really make sense to me. Again, you're learning Gemara. You're in high school. You're supposed to be learning at a high level. It doesn't really make sense to me that what I'm supposed to do is show up to a Gemara and say, okay, Abaya says this, and Rava says this, and Tosaf said this, and Rashi says this, and the Rambam says this, and the Ritva said that, and if you go deeper and deeper, so then you come to like the later Achronim, and then it's like, okay, Rav Chaim said this And the Brisker Rav said that, and Rav Shimon Shkop said this, and you're going through all these Achronim, and you understand the suga very well, but the only role that you play is listening to what's being taught to you. It bothered me because I was like, "Wait a second! At some point, these people had the innovative ideas that I'm learning. I never get to participate. The only thing I get to do is spit back the information that you told me." So, what do our kids do today? I'm sure you did this also, or you didn't, right? If you're a good student

37:43 What do you do? You take really good notes, or you borrow somebody else's really good notes. I know we have some people in the room like that. Thank you, Mickey. We have some people that borrowed somebody else's really good notes, and we're training our kids today to have an unbelievable short term memory. So the second you took the test, what happened? The information was so irrelevant to you; it was so not brought down into your reality that what did you do? You forgot about it because it wasn't. Maybe it was interesting, but it's no longer interesting enough for me to hold on to it. I have the next thing to think about. When do people fall in love with learning? We fall in love with learning not when we hear a great sheir. We fall in love with learning when we have the ability to think for ourselves.

38:35 This is the gift that my rebbe gave us. In Shear, I was in Shear by my rebbe for five years. And I learned bechabrusa with him for another three years after that. So for eight years I was by my rebbe. I want to share with you what it was like. To learn by R' Parnas Shlitah, he should be zecher R' Fu Shalem. He's 97 years old. I want to share with you what it was like to be in his shir. First of all, he had seder for three hours before shir. What were you meant to do in seder? You were meant to look at a whole list of things. Look at this Gemara. Look at these Rishonim. He gave you a whole list of things to look at, and so you had to look at them. But it wasn't enough to look at them. We would come to shir, and then my rebbe would say as follows. I remember he would say to one of the boys, read the Gemara quickly. The boy would read the Gemara. My Rebbe would say, Rashi says this, the Rambam says this, and then he would turn to us the Sheir. He called the Sheir the Gadol Hadar. He would turn to us the Sheir and he would go

39:31 Chaver, what do you want to say? Who wants to be Mazber the Machlokas between the Rambam and Rashi? Who wants to be Mazber the Machlokas between the Ritva and the Rashba? And because the nature of the she'er was that way, what did you have to do for the entire three hours during seder if you wanted to be a serious boy in she'er? It wasn't enough to be able to say the Rambam says this and the Ritva says this. You had to plumb the depths of the Rambam to really get to the inner essence of what the Rambam was saying. And then she became a war. It was the most unbelievable war you ever participated in because a guy would raise his hand and he would. My rebbe was a Talmuder of Rav Salavechik and Rav Gurelek and Rav Moshe Bick. My rebbe was old school, not today like the rebbe. If you say something that's completely ridiculous, and the rebbe goes, "I think what you're trying to say is this," and then says the exact opposite thing that you said just to make a kid feel good. Did you have that teacher? That wasn't my rebbe at all. My rebbe was fire and if you said something foolish.

40:31 He would tell you it was foolish. In fact, I'll share with you. This is I don't know if I'm saying it publicly, but I think it's better to say publicly. We were in a sheir like this. We were in a half circle around my rebbe's desk. There were three or four rows. If you said something intelligent in sheir, my rebbe would go, 'Why don't you move up a row?' But if you said something foolish, he moved you back. You know what that's like to move your seat back in Sheer in front of everybody. Today they call that emotional abuse. We called it chenoch. That was the way we grew up. And he was fire and brimstone. By the way, he was only fire and brimstone with the ones that he liked, with the ones that he thought were capable. One time in Sheer, this is a crazy story. One time in Sheer, a guy raised his hand and he said nothing.

41:21 He literally just repeated what the Gemara said, what the Rambam said, what the Rithva said. He didn't add anything in But he wasn't a top guy in Shul. He wasn't a serious guy. He wasn't a really committed guy. It was probably the first time he raised his hand. It was definitely the last time he raised his hand, because my Rebbe was nice to him. So when my Rebbe said it, my Rebbe looks at him and he goes "Did you add something new, or did you just repeat what we already knew?" So the guy goes. I just repeated what we already knew, and it was so uncomfortable because my rebbe normally tore us down if we did that. But my rebbe was being so gentle. He turned to me and he goes, "Would you like to try again?" And it was so uncomfortable in the room because he was being nice. The boy just looked at my rebbe and said, "That's okay. I think I'll just go kill myself." It was not a she'er where people made jokes. It was like a very serious Litvish she'er.

42:11 Il godless del mio rebbe she'er era. We were part of the She'er. It wasn't enough to just show up and know what was being said. Today, a lot of svarim are just taking things that have already been said and putting them all together. It's not the way we're meant to be engaging with Torah today. Torah today has to come from within ourselves, which means we need to learn to trust ourselves to explode onto the scene. With this in mind, I just want to highlight one line in the Megillah that's very critical. We know that Esther Hamalka is in the palace. We know that Klali Yisrael is on the verge of destruction. Mordechai comes to Esther Hamalka and he says to Esther Hamalka, "No" No. What do you think you're in this position for? This is the equivalent of Jared Trump being in the White House. What do you think this whole thing happened for? So you're able to whisper in Trump's ear at the right time that he has to come and drop a bomb on Iran to remove their nuclear facilities. He should be zeicher to continue to do it over and over again.

43:14 He's Hashem in a way that has no impact on Eretz Yisrael or Klal Yisrael. What's Esther Amalca's hesedancy? She wasn't foolish. She must have known Klal Yisrael is on the verge of being wiped out. How is it that the Hashgacha brought me to this place? What's her response to Mordechai HaTzaddik? First of all, Mordechai should have never needed to come. The story never should have gotten off the ground. If we were in that, if any one of us was in that position. Well before Mordechai Atzad comes, can you imagine all the Jewish Haskhanim calling you up? If a Yid was a queen in the White House today, she would be honored at every dinner, every Haskhan. Jews would be called if we had a person in the White House. If the First Lady was a Jew Jews would be calling her up to get us out of parking tickets.

44:03 Like. I'm not going to pay this. I know a guy who knows the first lady. For sure, that would be every yid would be all over them. Section eight housing would be all yid, and everything would be yid. We'd have a first lady in the White House. How could it be that Mordechai HaTzaddik had to come to her? She didn't know from herself why she was in that position. And think about her answer. Think about how tragic this answer is. What's her answer? It's like the answer of a rasha. Her answer is, if I go, he's going to kill me. What? This Esther Amalca. This the Tzadikas. This clearly she was a real person. When I say real person, I don't mean like she actually existed. I mean she was a human being, a deep, deep human being. So what does she do? She comes. She says, "If I go to Achashverosh, he's going to kill me. If you don't go to Achashverosh, everybody else dies."

44:55 So how in the world How in the world could you possibly think that's good teretz? And then if you think back, what does Mordechai say to her? Mordechai says. This is going to happen one way or another. The only question is what role you're going to play. She says, 'Fine, I'm willing to go, but lech kenosas kol yehudim. You have to get all of klal yisrael together. Everybody has to fast for three days. It can't just be on me.' What changed? A minute ago, you were afraid Achashverosh is going to kill you. Now all of a sudden, you're not afraid. And if you're not afraid, why do you need all of Klal Yisrael to fast? The way we grew up thinking about it is like we need a schlos. Like we need a schlos. We don't have enough of a schlos to do it. So the Chassidus is as follows. Chassidus says that Esther Amalca's hesitancy was the way of femininity up until that moment was not to be proactive.

45:50 She said, Mordechai, what you're suggesting is a radical change in the way that the nature of Jewish femininity shows up in the world. I'm supposed to be here to receive Achashverosh. I'm not supposed to go out to him. If I go out to him, that's a huge shift. Her fear wasn't death in the sense that Achashverosh was going to kill her. She certainly would have been willing to die al Kiddush Hashem, like everybody throughout history. She was saying to Mordechai, "This is death." The Melech representing Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He's not willing to allow this energy to come to him—it's always been from above to below. Now you're saying it's going to be from below to above. Is the world ready for this? What's Mordechai's response? So Mordechai's response is: This story is going to unfold in this way.

46:44 There's no doubt that throughout history, and this was the radical innovation of Mordechai Yitzhak. Remember the tzaddik, the nature of the tzaddik is that he sees through all the way to the essence beyond all coverings. The tzaddik is able to see all the way through to the essence. Mordechai understood that there needed to be a dialogue; that it wasn't going to be a monologue; that there wasn't a historical reality where Hashem Baruch Hu was going to be speaking to us through prophecy. He understood that with the destruction of the first Beit Hamikdash, there would not be until the third Beit Hamikdash, a Beit Hamikdash that was like the first Beit Hamikdash. Because that was a masculine base hamikdash. There's going to be the next base hamikdash, which is going to be the feminine base hamikdash. The third base hamikdash, which is everlasting because it's nekeva tosovev gaver. We finally got it right. The masculine energy and the feminine energy come together in the perfect balance, so that the third base hamikdash will be everlasting. Mordechai HaTzaddik understood history is unfolding this way. The only question he turns to Esther Amalke and says, 'Are you going to be the one to make the shift in history? This is the moment. Klal Yisrael, of course, was going to be saved.'

47:47 There's no reality where Klal Yisrael is eradicated. It will never be that Jews are eradicated. That's why we are the miraculous nation throughout history. The Greeks are gone. The Egyptians are gone. Everybody's gone. The only ones that are still here is us. The reality of Klal Yisrael is assured. Somebody was speaking to me this week. They were nervous because of the Iran war. I said, What are you nervous about? We already know the end of this story. Klal Yisrael lives with a deep emunah. We know the end of this. I don't know how it's going to unfold. I'm not saying that there won't be darkness. I'm only saying that darkness will reveal itself in the right time. The question is not should we run to America? Should we be here? Should we be there? The question is how do we show up to these moments that are pregnant with the possibility of becoming messianic. This is what Esther Amalca is being told. Are you? It's for sure going to shift. You're uniquely positioned in the palace to make that shift and to go to Achashverosh.

48:42 Comes along Esther Amalca, and she responds as follows: I'll be willing to make the shift. I'll be willing to go to Achashverosh. But if I'm going to make this radical shift of moving the world now from below to above, it can't just be me. Lech Kenos Es Kol Hayyehudim. Because if Esther Hamalka makes the shift on her own, how profound is the shift? Esther Hamalka says to Mordechai Yitzadik, 'You have to send this message to all of Klal Yisrael. All of Klal Yisrael needs to know we have a person in the palace. She's going to change the direction of history. Everybody needs to be on board for this.' Everybody, pei echad. It's going to be another version of Har Sinai. Ki isha chad balev chad by Har Sinai. That's what allowed Hakadosh Baruch Hu to come down. Esther Malke says, 'We need a new Har Sinai.' What's the new Har Sinai? Get everybody together now. Here in this state of darkness, recreate Har Sinai, but this time Har Sinai is coming from below to above. That's the only way that we're going to be able to come to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Lech Kenosas Kol Yehudim, recreate Har Sinai, and this time, instead of Moshe, instead of Hakadosh Baruch Hu coming down to the mountain, it's going to be Esther Amalke going to Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

49:56 So this is what Mordechai the Tzaddik does, and this is the beginning. That moment when she goes to Achashverosh, that's the beginning of the downfall of Haman. That's the beginning of entering into the highest levels of Atzmos of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. The recognition that Hakadosh Baruch Hu, in His essence, is Tov and only wants to do Tov, and that's the eradication of Amalek in this world. This Purim Nobody knows how it's going to unfold. Nobody knows what's going to be in a couple of days from now. Mrs. Hersh, I give you the biggest bracha in the world that you're not able to go back to Los Angeles. And that all of you, I know everybody has plans. I know this country is about. This neighborhood is about to empty out. In a week from now, nobody will be here. Everybody has to go back to America.

50:45 That's how pidarech ateva. Hakari es megillam afrei alo yatzah. We can't know what's going to be in the end. But we certainly know what responsibility we have in these moments. The responsibility right now is for Jewish women to explode onto the scene. And if we're not—if again, I'm trying not to say anything not nice—but if our lives become this pursuit of materialism, that is very profoundly present in our current reality If our lives become That the nature of a Jewish home is that our children are being raised by non-Jews because women are constantly out of the house in order to make enough of a parnasa in order to be able to survive. So if our children are being raised by the maids of the home and not by Jewish mothers, and I understand the challenges, I'm not saying the challenges aren't real. But if we are moving away from Jewish femininity We are going to prolong this process.

52:00 The process is waiting to end. There the shifts are already happening. I want you to know. I say this not to cast aspersions on Kholioson in any way. I don't remember when I was growing up. I don't remember in the '80s that there were all these Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't remember there being these very big rebizons going out and giving these shiurim to the entire world. I don't remember that being a thing. I don't remember it being this global. Today, what's the name of that rabbi? She's very funny, Israeli, but she speaks English with an American accent. Yemima Mizrahi. My daughter does an amazing impression of Yemima Mizrahi. It's better to be fat and happy than skinny and miserable. I agree also, but Not everybody agrees with me. I don't remember there being Yimim Mizrahis in the world. I don't remember this. The world is shifting.

53:08 Litzaharenu. Today, women are not going into chinuch. It's a big mistake that we're making by not having women go into chinuch. Everybody needs to fit into the box of some type of therapy, and chinuch doesn't pay enough to live these extravagant lifestyles. All the people that inspired us were not inspiring the next generation. Women are not as present with their families. This is mission critical. Women need to be present with their families. Especially in today's day and age, as the challenges become more and more profound. Having Jewish mothers that are there to nurture these children to become bnei and banoes Torah is fundamental. But more than that. It's not just being present. It's being present in a below to above way. It's creating space to cultivate that which already exists into a new way of being. Taking the Torah that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us and expounding on that Torah so that we can, with Hashem's help, learn the Torah of Mashiach, which is the Torah of Pnimius Atira, and in that merit we should be zocheh this Purim to finish this process that has started since Adam Rishon sinned, which is the coming of Mashiach. Afreilachem porim, everyone. Everybody, take a few minute break, and then Rabbi Noah Lewis.