Purim - Esther's Redemption

2:24 So I'd like for a moment just to look at the Megillah and to see exactly what it was that Esther Amalca did. Because when we look at the Megillah, we see, if we're reading just the simple text of the Megillah, there are some very strange things that Esther Amalca did. We'll begin in the beginning of the Megillah. Where Esther Amalca is told by Mordechai. It says, "V'es pashegen kasev hadas a shernitan b'shusam la'shmidam nasson lo laharos is Esther." Mordechai gave a copy of the law that was proclaimed in Shushan, calling for the annihilation of the Jews, and he gave it to Esther to tell her about it and to instruct her to go to the king to beseech him and to plead with him on behalf of her nation. So Mordechai instructs Esther that she is to go to the king and beg for Klal Yisrael. The truth of the matter is that when we look at the Megillah, that never happened. Mordechai's instruction to Esther never happened. What was Mordechai saying? She should walk in and say, 'I'm a Jew. This is Haman's plot. Please, I'm begging you. I'm the queen of your country. I'm begging you not to do that.' And she doesn't do it.

3:48 She doesn't do it. She tells Mordechai she's hesitant. Mordechai says, 'Miodeya, I'm l'ais kadosh.' He got the lamalchus. Who knows if the whole reason you were put into this position was for this time to be able to solve to save Klal Yisrael? But l'maisa Esther never does it. What does Esther do? So we're going to read a couple of psukim now. Nine psukim, not that many, just nine psukim. We'll see what's interesting about these psukim. Vayihi bayom hashlishi. It came to pass on the third day that Esther clothed herself in royal clothing. And she stood in the inner court of the king's house, opposite the king's house. And the king was sitting on his royal throne inside the royal palace, opposite the entrance of the house. So Esther Hamalka and Achashverosh are standing opposite. Esther Malka is on the inner court in the inner courthouse, but standing outside the throne room.

4:53 He is inside facing out. It came to pass, the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court. She was mozechein beinav. She found favor in his eyes. The king extended to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand, and Esther approached and touched the end of the scepter. Everybody knows that if Achashverosh had not done that That would have meant that Esther Amalca was going to die. What was that? That was pasuk base of think the fifth parakon megillah. I'm not sure. La yomer la hamelach. Now the king says to her, "Pay attention now, very carefully." The king said to her, "What concerns you, My queen? What is your petition? Even if it's half the kingdom I'll give it to you. Now, at this point, what would we have expected? Mordechai sent her in on a shlichus. What's the shlichus? Go beg the king that he should save Klal Yisrael. She walks in. He extends his golden scepter. She touches the end of the scepter, and he says, Even if it's up to half the kingdom, I will give it to you. The Gemara in Megillah said, "What does it mean, half the kingdom?" It means the base hamigdash, Everything but the base hamigdash, Which means he was prepared to give her anything. At this point, what would we have expected Esther Amalke to say?

6:30 Make the request, and that's not what happens. Fatomer Esther, Im alamelach tov, Yavo hamelach vahaman hayom elamistah asher asis silo. And Esther says, "If it pleases the king, let the king and Haman come today to the banquet that I have prepared for him." Vayomer amelach maharu es Haman lassos devar Esther vayavo amelach v'Haman ala mishta asher asa Esther. The king says, "Rush Haman to do Esther's bidding." And the king and Haman came to the banquet that Esther had prepared. Vayomer amelach la Esther b'mishtei yayin. And the king says to Esther during the wine banquet. They're in the middle of their banquet. They're in the middle of their drinking. This is why we drink on Purim. We drink on Purim because of the wine banquets that there were on Purim. And he says to her. He repeats his offer. I will give you up to half the kingdom. Everything but the base of Mikdash. Now Esther Amalca's response surely at this point should have been.

7:35 Please save Klal Yisrael. And this is what she says. Esther replies, 'My petition and my request are as follows: If I have found favor in your eyes' And if it pleases the king, to grant my petition, to fulfill my request. Please, Haman and yourself, come to the banquet that I have made for you. And tomorrow I will do the king's bidding. As he's leaving the king's gate, he sees that Mordechai doesn't get up because of him and Haman's wrath. Was filled against Mordechai. This is a very strange nine psukim. Let's go over a couple of the questions on these psukim because this is the major move of Esther Amalca. Remember, it's called Megillah Esther. Why is it called Megillah Esther? Because she's the protagonist. She's the catalyst of change. She's the one that's going to make it happen. And what does she do? The exact opposite of everything we would think. Initially, she's hesitant to do so. She's hesitant to go beseech the king. Mordechai says, 'Who knows if this was the reason that you were put in this position for?'

9:05 Fine, I'll go do it. Mordechai says to her, "When you get to the king, what do I want you to do? Beg for Klal Yisrael's life." She comes. He does extend his scepter. She's not killed. And at that point, he says to her, "I'll give you half the malchus." What does she not do? She doesn't ask the king. Instead, she says, "Come to a party that I have made that I'm making for you. Haman will be invited also. Tomorrow we'll talk about it." She comes. He comes to the party. What does she say at the party? What does Achashverosh say at the party? I'll give you again. Achashverosh same offer. What does she say? Come back for a second party that I'm making for you. And how does Haman leave the party? Sameach v'tov leav. At this point in the story, we would think that Esther Amalca is the single worst advocate for Klal Yisrael. The whole goal of this entire story is to get Achashverosh to overturn Haman, and Esther Amalek. She seems to be hesitant. She somehow won't go ahead and do it. Why isn't she pulling the trigger? She has this amazing opportunity

10:07 And not just that. She seems to be emboldening our enemies. Ad ke dekach that when Haman leaves, the pasuk describes him as samech vetovleiv. That's a huge thing to say about Amalek. That Amalek could be samech vetovleiv. He was of such a good state of cheer. And what does Haman encounter? Haman encounters Mordecai, and it ruins the whole thing for him. What a strange story! There is, aside from all the questions we've asked, of which there are many, one textual anomaly. One thing that you got to pick up on if you want to really understand the story. When we look at the first invitation, it says, "Vatomer, vatomer Esther, See if you can get it. Vatomer Esther, Im al amelach tov." Yavo haMelech v'haman hayom elam mishta asher asici lo. If it is good pleasing for the king, let the Melech and Haman Yavo haMelech v'haman hayom elam mishta asher asici lo. Says they should come low singular.

11:13 So who is the party for? The party is for Achashverosh. Again, if it pleases the king. Let the king and Haman come to the party that I'm making for you today. Asher asisi lo. The next time she says it, she says as follows: In matsatsi chen be'enei amelech, v'im alamelech tov lasis she'elasi. If I find favor in the eyes of the king, and if it's good for you to give me lasis she'elasi to give me my request, lasis bakasha si to fulfill my petition. Whatever yavo hamelech v'haman elam mishta asher ese lahem. Let you come to the party that I'm making. Who's Lahem here? Plural. That means the party is for who? For both Haman and Achashverosh. So one very interesting thing we see: there are two parties. The first one is very clearly for Achashverosh. The second one is not just for Achashverosh anymore. It's for Haman. Why does Esther Amalca do that? And what's interesting is when Esther Amalca says Come for the party for you. What is Achashverosh's response? By Yomer Amelach, Maharu ha Haman, go quickly prepare. Lassus is to Bar Esther. He tells Haman, go quickly prepare for the thing that Esther Amalca is telling us to do. By Yabo Amelach, ha Haman ala Mishta, Asher lassus Esther, and they came. In the second suda, what do we not find? We don't find Achashverosh instructing Haman to come.

12:43 Why not? Something changed. What exactly changed? What was Esther Hamalka doing? I'll give you one last one. The Arizal points out that we know there's a lot of deeply Kabbalistic things about the Megillah. The Arizal points out that if you look at the very first invitation that Esther Hamalka gives to Achashverosh, look at the words. It says, "Vatomer Esther Hamalech Tov," right? Yavo Hamalech Vehaman Hayom. Let the king and Haman come today. Yavo Hamelach v'Haman Hayom is Rashi Teivos Yudke Vavke. This spells out the name of Hashem. Esther and Malca was spelling out the name of Hashem. What in the world is Yudke Vavke doing here in this initial invitation to Achashverosh? Interestingly, later doesn't seem the same way. Yavo Hamelech v'Haman. There's the Vav, but then the next words are Elamishte. So here is the only time in the invitation to Esther Amalke that it spells out Yud Kevafke. What's going on over here?

14:07 Something changed between the first Suda and the second Suda. anybody know what that was? In order to explain to you what changed, I need to tell you about a movie called Raiders of the Lost Ark. Indiana Jones. Now I don't know if any of you have seen this movie. Very good. So you've seen the movie. I'm going to ask you a very simple question. Indiana Jones ends with what scene? They take out the ark. You said it before, and what happens? The radiance, the kedusha, of the ark of the covenant, kills all the Nazis. If you haven't seen the movie, I'm not telling you to see the movie.

15:13 And even if you don't understand what I'm talking about for the next 30 seconds, it'll still be worth it. Ready? Indiana Jones plays no role in the entire movie. It's a crazy thing. The movie is named after him, but if you took away Indiana Jones from the entire movie, the movie would still end exactly the same way because the whole movie is about Indiana Jones trying to get it away from the Nazis. But in the end of the day, the Nazis did get a hold of it. And what happened? As soon as they opened it up, they all died. Which means that if Indiana Jones never got it from them to begin with, it would have been fine because what would have happened? They would have gotten it and they would have all died. So it's a famous problem with the movie. The main character plays no role. There is an entire part of the McGilla. I didn't really need to give that introduction. I think I just wanted to. There is an entire part of the Megillah that is absolutely unnecessary to the story.

16:04 It's an entire parak, in fact. Watch, you'll see. It's crazy because you all know the story; it all seems to play this big role. It plays no role. On that night, the king could not sleep. So what happens? You all know the story. Bring me my Sefer HaZichronos. On that night, the king's sleep was disturbed. And he ordered they ordered them to bring the book of the records, The chronicles, and they were read before the king. What happened on that night? He remembered that he had never paid Mordechai back for stopping the attempted assassination of Big Son and Sarish. So on that night, he couldn't sleep. He remembers Mordechai. By the way, he blesses her even if she doesn't sneeze. We only say 'bless you' when somebody does that. It's crazy. But now we don't. You don't need to spit mucus out of your nose to get a 'bless you' from us.

17:25 So now, what happens? Haman comes. Achashverosh says to Haman, "What would you do with such a person, thinking that it was himself?" He says, "I would give him covered malachim, right?" And that's exactly what they do to Mordechai. And Haman needs to lead him through the streets. Girls, if you never knew that part of the story, does the story change? Not at all. Mordechai already refused to bow down to Haman. The decree to Kaliaso was already in place. What changed? She was going to have her second sudda either way. Shouldn't this be one of those midrashim that we find out afterwards? Wouldn't that be like the type of thing you come to seminary and you learn that there was a whole thing that was happening behind the scenes? And then we've learned this amazing midrashim of Bergsheer. But it's not a midrash. It's the Megillah itself. Why? It's not relevant to the story. It's like Indiana Jones. It makes no difference. I could tell you the exact story without that at all. It's very simple. There was a decree against the Jews. Mordechai refused to bow down. There was a suddah. Mordecai told the Jews not to go to the suddah. That's where the decree came from.

18:27 Esther Amalca had to go put her way in. She does a strange thing. Has two suddahs. By the second one, she makes her claim. Achashverosh sides with us. See, I'm new. I just cut out an entire parak. Tinas Esther, Baruch Hashem, ends that much earlier. People can go home and eat. What in the world is it doing here? In order to understand this We need to understand who Achashverosh was and who Haman was. Only through understanding Achashverosh and Haman can we possibly begin to understand what Esther Amalca was doing. The Gemara Megillah quotes Ramban Amliyah, and it says Achashverosh was an indecisive king. How many people here, when they were growing up, heard that Achashverosh was stupid? That's very, very sad. Nobody ever said Achashverosh was stupid. In fact, if you look at the commentaries, he was clearly a very intelligent politician. He went from being the stableman to being the king of the world. So this notion that Achashverosh was stupid—it's not what the Gemara says. Gemara says he was indecisive. Rashi says it means that. He says one thing, and then he changes his mind and says another, and then changes his mind and says a third. This is a fancy way of saying as follows: Achashverosh had very

20:00 Very frail ego. What does it mean to have a frail ego? A frail ego means I am never really sure of what it is that I ought to be doing right now. I'm always trying to please everyone. So at some point, what was that? Insecure. Very insecure, spineless. At some point, Achashverosh, you say one thing to him, he goes, "Yeah, we should do that," and then you say something else, he goes, "Yeah, we should do that." He never really makes up his mind, which is why he switches from one thing to the next. The Medrash says that Achashverosh was a man who would kill his wife for his friend and his friend for his wife. He did. Why? Because if you think about it, he would kill his wife for his friend. He killed Vashti for Haman. And then he killed his friend for his wife. He killed Haman for Esther. Haman would kill his wife for his friend. Achashverosh would kill his wife for his friend, meaning he would kill Vashti for Haman. And then he would kill his friend for his wife, where ultimately he kills Haman for Esther.

21:06 But no, Nowhere do we see this more than in the very beginning of the Megillah. Because what did he do? He made this massive party. Now listen, just to one pasuk. The hshtiya kedas ein ones. The hshtiya was according to the law. No one was forced. Kiken yisar amelach. This was what the king ordained. I'll call Rav Beisou. Every steward of his house should get lassos keretzon ish ve ish. Everybody should get according to what they wanted. Now imagine you're throwing a party for thousands upon thousands of people. What do you do? You put out whatever food there is. You make a buffet. You make a shmorgus board, right? Imagine if on the invitation to your wedding it said, 'This we you know what does it say like will yes that was that awkward part will yes be coming will no be coming it's it's uncomfortable you don't know what to write there right imagine if underneath that it said tell us your wine of preference doesn't matter what year doesn't matter how long it's what company doesn't matter how many thousands of dollars we have to spend you tell us what wine that's what happened.

22:13 Every single person said, "I'll tell you my favorite wine." And they had that wine ready and there for them. Why would you do that? What's the answer? Achashverosh was tremendously insecure. At the end of the day, who was he? He was a stable boy who had risen to become king. When you're a stable boy who rises to become king, you know what the question you ask yourself over and over again is. At the end of the day, I'm a stable boy who's masquerading as king. When will I be found out? When will I lose all of my power? That's the impoverished mentality that Achashverosh had. Who's his wife in the beginning of the Megillah? Who's the great granddaughter of Nebuchadnezzar? So why did he marry Vashti? He married Vashti because that was a way of saying I'm the king. I married a queen. You understand? But was he really a king? He wasn't really a king. Now He had risen to power. But he was not yet king before that. That was a part of him becoming king. So now let's think about this. When Vashti doesn't come to the Suda. What does that represent to somebody like Achashverosh?

23:35 I'm not in charge; she's in charge. And now he doesn't know what to do. If your wife stands you up in front of everybody, most people in this room. I'll speak for the men. I'm just one. If I tell my wife, "Come downstairs, I want you to meet some of my talmidot," and she says no, am I embarrassed? Maybe. Do I convene a council and say, "What should we do with this woman?" I don't think so. I'm in charge of my home. A man's house is his castle. I get together my boys, my trusted advisers, and I'll be like She didn't come downstairs. First of all, who does that? Who needs everybody else's opinion in their marriage? Exceptionally insecure. Not only that. There was this person. Who was he? Who was the advisor? Haman. He wants to get his voice heard. Who says right?

24:44 Who says you got to take this woman down because otherwise she's going to take the entire kingdom. All the women are going to run the kingdom. All the men are going to lose their power. Every man is going to look towards you and say you failed us because you didn't set the women straight. Hear what Haman's playing on over here? He's playing on his insecurities. Here's a man who says, "Come to my party. I'm going to make a party for every one of you. I'm going to serve every one of you. Every one of you are going to have your loyal allegiance to me." And what does Haman come and say? "You're about to lose everyone's allegiance." So what does he do? Even though it was Vashti that was giving him so much of his power, because she was the great granddaughter of Nevuha Netzar, he says, "I have no choice but to kill her. I'd rather lose that power than lose everybody's power." Do you see how insecure this man is? Totally from a psychological perspective, when you feel like you're a stable boy and you're just in the position of the king, you're always afraid somebody's going to come get your position. But you said he was like really smart.

25:49 But that's the thing. You could be really smart, and I know many people that are really smart, and still, from a psychological perspective, they're insecure. I'm betting you're really smart, and I'm betting you have some psychological insecurities, just like I do. We all do, right? I like to think I'm a smart man. I'm not a genius, but I'm smart enough, right? But I have things that I'm insecure about. Most of them are irrational. It's like I'm not paranoid. Everyone really is out to get you. But most of them are aresh But in this case, Achashverosh is saying, 'Look, it's kind of true. When you are the king of that much, somebody's going to try to take over. So I have to be really careful. I have to make sure the kingdom is with me a hundred percent because the main thing that I have to lose is everything. If you've only got a little bit and you lose everything, it's not a big deal. But if you have a ton, if you're in your heart of hearts, you're like, how am I pulling this off? I'm a stable boy. I was able to make it happen.'

26:50 But at the end of the day, it's a precarious position I'm in. All I'm trying to show is you could be insecure. Girls, there's a part of us that's very achashverosh-like. Keep that in mind. Did people know at the time he was a stable? Everybody knew. He was the stable boy of the king. It's like Trump. Everyone knows where Trump came from. He was a Shabbos guy. Let's do Haman for a second. He was a Shabbos guy in the shul in Queens. Now because I've only got twelve minutes. We can't do too many Torma Devorah moments. So who's Haman? Haman also has an interesting ego, but it's a little bit different than Achashverosh. Haman is the master manipulator. People like Haman. This is what they do. They get close to people in power and they exploit their weakness so that they could control all the power. But Haman. He needs all the power. He's not going to be satisfied. Just like remember, just like Achashverosh has that impoverished mentality.

27:59 What if people start to rise up against me? Haman also has a certain impoverished mentality. What's his impoverished mentality? I need everybody to bow down to me. So when one old Jew doesn't bow down to him, what does he say? I have to go after everybody. Because if I don't have everyone, I have nothing. Achashverosh. But that's okay because I have the rest of the world to bow down to me. But I'll kill all of them. So what Haman does is he plays on Achashverosh's fear. And that's what master manipulators do. See, when you get close to somebody, you start to know their fears. If you're a healthy person, you help them overcome those fears. You reassure them. If you're a manipulative person, what do you do? You exploit their fears. So let's look at some of the things that Haman does. First of all, if you're in Haman's position, Vashti is a real obstacle to power, isn't she? Because I might be a trusted advisor

29:02 But what am I not? I'm not the queen that's providing all the political capital for you to be king. So if Vashti contradicts Haman, who's Achashverosh going to listen to? He's going to listen to Vashti. So if you were Haman and you're presented with the opportunity to remove Vashti from power, what are you going to do? You're going to play on his fears and say all the men of the kingdom are going to rise up against you because you're presenting a bad example to the women. You see how he exploits his fears? And now once she's killed, Haman has limitless power. Look what it says. After the story of Vashti being killed, Esther and Malca coming in, and Mordechai stopping Big Son and Sheres from killing Achashverosh. After these events, Achashverosh promotes Haman, the son of Amdasa, from Agaghi. And he places his seat above all of his fellow ministers. What happened to Haman? Haman convinces Achashverosh, 'You need me to protect you. After all, what did you just go through? An attempted assassination. You see the role that Haman plays. Your fears are real. People are coming to get you. I'm the only one that can protect you.' So Haman exploits the fears of Achashverosh and he guarantees his safety. And that's how Haman rises to power.

30:35 In light of this, girls, now that we've painted the psychological picture of both of these men, Achashverosh, totally insecure, Haman, the manipulative person who needs everyone to bow down to him. He needs to be in total control. Put yourself in Esther Amalca's shoes. Mordechai comes to you and says, 'There was a decree that was written against the Jews.' Bang down the door of Achashverosh's palace and say to him, 'I am a Jewess.' They're going to kill my people. Stop them. If you were Achashverosh and you had Haman as your adviser, here's what you would say: 'You are the one that is going to assassinate me. I see you've been hiding here the entire time in plain sight. Nobody knew where you came from. Very mysterious woman. You don't care about me. You don't love me. All you care about is your interests.' So was Esther Hamalka telling Mordechai, 'No, I'm scared for my life.'

31:37 No, she wasn't telling Mordechai. She was scared for her life. What was she saying? She was saying, 'This is not the way to do it.' So she doesn't do it that way. She knew there was a risk, but she doesn't do it the way Mordechai does it because she understands better than Mordechai does. Remember, it's Megillas Esther. She understands better than Mordechai does the psychology of Achashverosh, the psychology of Haman, and the politics of the palace. So she comes up with a much better plan. What's her plan? She's also going to act like Haman. She's going to exploit the fears of Achashverosh, but she's going to do it one step better. Because not only is she going to exploit the fears of Achashverosh, she's going to exploit the fear of Haman as well. She's going to inflate Haman's ego. Because girls, you know what happens when you inflate someone's ego too much? They start to believe in themselves too much, and that's when they're ready to be taken down. Let's look at the story again.

32:39 Knowing what we now know, let's look at the story again. I guarantee you, it changes everything. She says, "Let's go back." What does she say? What's the first move she makes? She says, "Achashverosh, I'm inviting you and Haman to a suha that's being made in whose honor? In Achashverosh's honor. She knows he's afraid. What is she saying to him? I'm making a suha for you. The suha is all about you." Haman is an invited guest. At this point, if you're Achashverosh and your wife invites you to a suda, what are you thinking? Why is he coming? Why is Haman coming? But the suda is in my honor. Maybe it's because Haman is my trusted advisor. He's my political ally. He's the one that keeps me safe. Whatever reason Achashverosh comes up with, but one thing he's for sure thinking, what's he doing there? But he's got to come up with an answer for that.

33:49 But then, what happens? They come. He says, "I'll give you anything." Why does he do that? Why does Achashverosh always do that? Why does he always say to Esther, "I'll give you anything. I'll give you anything"? Because that's what Achashverosh always does, right? To every single person that walks into the party, he says, "I'm going to give you your favorite wine." When his wife comes, what does he say? What do you need? I'll give it to you. That's people who are insecure are always willing to give you everything. They don't like to say no because they don't have enough of a sense of self to be able to say no. What does Esther keep saying? Not yet. She's building up his anxiety. It's for you. It's for you. Don't worry. Don't worry. But why won't you tell me what you want? Why won't you tell me what you want? You ever see little kids sometimes? I've learned this as an adult. You ever have someone who says, "Hey, could we sit later to talk about something like at ten o'clock tonight? Would you mind making some time?" What do you respond? Sure. About what?

34:43 Why do you have to say about what? Because it's almost seven o'clock and you don't want to be sitting here for the next three hours. I don't know. She wants to talk to me, but she wants to talk to me about this. But she wants to talk to me about that. I don't know. I can't handle this. You have to go talk to other people about the meeting that hasn't happened yet to prepare yourself of what's going to happen when. It'll happen when it happens. Oh my God! Rabbi Fix called me into his office. I don't know what's going to be. I have to be there at twelve o'clock. It's a meeting with both of them. They just want to tell you you're doing awesome. But yeah, I just need to know right now—is it good or not good? Like you say, good or not good. You'll see. It's killing me. And he says, 'What's the pshat?' It's her anxiety. She's fueling his anxiety. She's fueling his fears. And at the same time, what's Haman thinking? If you just got invited to the private suda in honor of Achashverosh the king, and you're the only one that's invited, what do you think?

35:28 That was amazing. I'm invited. I'm in. At the party, Achashverosh says, "Esther, I can't stand that anymore. Tell me what you want." And what does she say to him? Come to my next party. Come to my next party. That's being made in honor of both of you. If you're Haman, what do you think? If you're Haman, I'll tell you what it means. If you're Haman, this is what you think. You think to yourself Vayetzeh Haman, bayomahu sameach v'tov leiv. I am the man. I'm happy. I've got it all. Even Esther Amalca is in my pocket. And then what happens immediately afterwards to this massive, inflated ego? He comes and he sees Mordecai, who won't bow down to him. What does that got to do to you if you're humbled? If you need everything, if you need everybody to be worshiping you, and you just were invited to the suudah of the king in honor, not just of the king anymore, but of both of you. Your ego has got to be massive. Your narcissism has to be off the charts at that point.

36:29 And Mordecai still won't bow down to you. It rubs you so wrong. Why did Esther? That's true, but she wanted his ego inflated anyway, and you'll see why in a minute. By the way, if you're Achashverosh, and this is the main point to answer your question, and if you're Achashverosh and you just got invited to a very strange suitor by your wife that was in your honor, but somehow Haman was invited, and now you're getting invited to another suitor, and your wife still won't tell you what's going on, but this time the suitor is not just in honor of you, but it's in honor of both of you. What's your anxiety levels at that point? Why is it for both of us? And on that night, Achashverosh couldn't sleep. Why couldn't he sleep? Because his anxiety would not allow him to sleep. Why not? Because the whole time he's thinking, Why is Haman coming to this sudda? Why is he having it? Why are we having a sudda in his honor? Who's out to get me? Somebody's clearly out to get me. What's going on between Haman and Esther?

37:39 Something is clearly going on. Why won't anybody tell me the truth? I need to go through my Sefer Hazachronos. Maybe there's somebody that owed me a favor that I didn't pay them back. Do you hear the anxiety, girls? Let's go through all the good things that happened to me. Maybe there's somebody I forgot along the way. How does he think to do that? Because if you are an anxious person, you need everybody around you to be happy. Maybe there's somebody out there who should tell me why isn't anybody telling me the plot? Why isn't anybody loyal to me? Don't I do everything for everybody? Maybe there is somebody I wasn't loyal to. Maybe there is somebody out there who knows the plot who won't tell me. Bigson and Saris tried to kill me. I never paid back Mordechai. The story of that parak is not a waste. Chas v'shalom. And it couldn't just be a medrash. It was critical because it tells us what it tells us about Achashverosh's state of anxiety and Haman's inflated ego.

38:37 Now watch what happens. This is amazing what Esther Malca worked out. Achashverosh gets to suffer again. She may not have known everything that was going to happen, but it worked out exactly as Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted it to. Achashverosh gets to such a point of anxiety. Haman's ego becomes so inflated. He sees Mordechai. He's killing himself. Achashverosh says, "I have to honor Mordechai. I need people to be loyal to me. I can't have anyone not like me." Calls in Haman, ironic. Calls in Haman and says, "How should I honor? Who, of course, could be speaking about? Remember, this is the massive egomania. What does he say? It's talking about me. He says, 'Dress him up in royal clothing.' Right, revealing Haman's true ambitions. If you're Achashverosh, what are you thinking right now? Oh my God, this guy thinks I'm talking about him, and he wants to wear the king's crown on the king's horse. And it's from Mordechai. Achashverosh, another insight into Haman. Haman, another level of deflated ego. He's on the verge of making a mistake, and now we come to the second party. Everything is set up for Esther and Malka. And what does she say?

39:39 Brilliant woman that she was. She says It's. He says, "I'll give you up to half the kingdom." And she says, "I'll tell you what's really going on." I'll tell you what's really going on. " And Achashverosh is waiting with bated breath. Somebody's trying to kill me. You are under attack. I'm under attack. From Haman. This is a major thriller. If you're a chashverosh, who do you believe? Esther, because first of all, it gives him the opportunity. On the one hand, you want to believe Esther, because she's saying that Haman has a plot to get me out of the way, just like he had a plot to get Vashti out of the way. Haman is playing you. Haman is trying to take your position. Those seeds have already been sown. Something weird is going on over here. But on the other hand, isn't Haman the one that provides you with protection? Isn't he the one that stopped the assassination attempts? Isn't he the one who said we have to get rid of Klal Yisrael because this nation they don't fit in anywhere? We can control people who we can who fit in, but these people they don't fit in. They're spread out throughout everybody. He's the one who's been sowing seeds of paranoia for years. He's the one who guarantees my safety. If you're a Chasverish, what do you do? You say I have to think.

41:08 I have to think. I have to step back and I have to think. The Hamelach comes to Hamastu in Mishdeyayin. Elginas habison. He gets up in the middle of this Mishdeyayin of this wine suda, and he goes out into the orchard garmin, in the orchard garden. The Haman is pleading for his life from Esther Hamalka. Haman is pleading for his life from Esther Hamalka, saying, "Don't do this," because he knows the precarious position that he's in. He saw that Achashverosh was leaning away from him. He saw that Achashverosh began to believe Esther. So what does he do? He's in big trouble now. He says, "Please, I'm begging you, don't do this." The Hamelach shav Megina Sabisa, and the Melach returns. Achashverosh returns from the orchard garden. Elbeis Meshdeiay into the house where they're having this sudda. The Haman nofel alamita asher Esther alal. At that moment, Haman tripped. He tripped and he falls on the bed where Esther Amalke is sitting, and Achashverosh walks in. Famous line in the Megillah. Really, you are going to try to take my queen right in front of me while I am standing here in the house?

42:20 The word came out of the king's mouth, and they covered Haman's face. It means that Esther's plan worked. Achashverosh became so paranoid that instead of him seeing that Haman tripped and assuming he tripped, what did he say? 'You're trying to take my queen.' Is the story of the Megillah a story that ends well? No. It ends well for everybody except for one person. Esther Amalca. Everybody lives. Everybody survives. But Esther Amalca has to stay married to Achashverosh. Why? Why doesn't she leave? I understand she had to marry him to begin with. She had to save Klal Yisrael. But now Klal Yisrael saved. How come she can't say to Achashverosh? Listen, we have halacha. We don't marry Ga'im. Because remember, Go back to Achashverosh. She chose to go to him, but now it's us, sir. To choose to go to him, right? Choosing to go to somebody is us, or you're not. If somebody comes, puts a gun to your head, and says, 'Be over on Gilai Arayas, or I'll kill you.' What's the alacha? Die.

43:38 That was then, but now the threat is over. That's right, because Achashverosh was an insecure person. The threat never leaves. He could always change his mind. The story of the Megillah is an ode to the one woman who didn't just give up. A couple of years she gave up her entire life to maintain the paranoia of a king, so that all of Klal Yisrael should be saved. If you think about the story, it's an amazing story. Yavo haMelech v'haman hayom. When she invites him to the first party, whose name does Esther Amalke invoke? She invokes the name of Hakadosh Baruch. She knows I'm playing politics, but ultimately she leaves it up to God. Her life is for God. The story of the Megillah is the story of two different types of people: those that live with an impoverished mentality because they don't have a God in their lives, always afraid that somebody is going to overtake them.

44:44 Always afraid that they don't have total control, versus the people in this world, Esther Hamalka, who live with a God and say, "It's not me. I'm just an agent of Hashem." No matter what happens, even if I have to give up my entire life. That's why I was created. When you live with a godly soul, it means you have an infinite amount of power inside of you. You have an infinite amount of power inside you, girls. What does that mean? You'll always be enough. The reason why we have that anxiety, why we can't wait the three hours to have that conversation, is because we're living from a place of the physical world. In the physical world, wealth goes up and down. But from a spiritual perspective, it doesn't matter who doesn't like you. If you think you're doing the right thing, you stay with that. But everyone else around you is going to say you're doing the wrong thing.

45:34 What gave Esther Amalca the capacity to say to the Chachamim, "Kisvuni la Doros"? She said, "I gave up everything." Write it down. It's the message that Klali Yisrael needs for generations. She didn't need it so that she'll be remembered. It wasn't for her own ego. She needed it because she was trying to teach Klal Yisrael something. What did Chazal say? Anti-Semitism. Anti-Semitism. That's an impoverished mentality. That's a fearful mentality. She was insisted, no, it has to be a yontif, and we have to read from the Megillah every year. You have to know, girls. You have an infinite amount of power inside of you. Don't be afraid. The need to control others, the need to manipulate others, the need to have everybody like you—that doesn't come from a godly place. The story of Esther and Malka is the story not of a great politician, though she clearly was. The story of Esther and Malka was a woman who knew how to look at the world and see the brokenness of the world, and to say, "I will rise above. I'll be able to bring a godly, victorious result because these people are so afraid." And wherever there's fear, ultimately there'll be victory for the other side. That's why the Rambam says a soldier in the Jewish army is not allowed to be afraid. And girls, we too, are not allowed to be afraid.