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Automatic transcript; may contain mistakes, especially in Hebrew.
This week's question is, how do you know when you're taking on too much or not taking on enough? We're always supposed to be growing up, but to what extent? When should we stop and reflect? As always, there are no black and white rules when it comes to this question, but we'll try to handle these one at a time. Growth means going from the real to the ideal. In order to grow, we need to know, first of all, who are we? There has to be a level of authenticity and integrity that we have to know what we're actually. Who are we? So, who am I really? But just because this is the person I am doesn't mean it needs to be the person I'm going to be for the rest of my life. We all have a second version of ourselves. And the second version of ourselves is the ideal version of ourselves. It's the person we want to be. It's the person in our heart of hearts we know we ought to be. But the process of getting there is complicated.
It has to be slow and it has to be careful. If you take on too much, you end up dropping. If you don't take on enough, you're not challenging yourself. In my experience, the only way to really know if you're taking on too much is trial and error. Challenge yourself. What is the most I can do today to become real, in terms of who am I today? Is this the best version of myself? So, if yesterday I took on, I'm not going to say Lushen Hara for half an hour, today let me see what it feels like to do that for 45 minutes. And 45 minutes might mean too much, but we have to be building habits. So, we're moving from the real to the ideal, but the question is, how do we do that? Are we taking on too much? Are we not taking on enough? It has to be trial and error. What works for you? How can you build your habits slowly and effectively, in order to make sure that you're in a state of getting closer to the ideal version of yourself? Now, that's a moving target. That horizon is always going to be in the future.
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But, that's life. We're always supposed to be growing, but to what extent? The answer is the extent is maximal. We have to be ambitious about our growth. We have to be ambitious about being the ideal version of ourselves. Because when we're not the ideal version of ourselves, when we're the real version of ourselves, it's not that we're upset with who we are, but we want to bridge that gap. There's a frustration that we have that we're not the ideal version of ourselves. We want to be more compassionate. We want to be more authentic. We want to have more integrity. We want to have more humility. So we're frustrated with ourselves when we can't get there. We have to be ambitious about it. It has to be at the cornerstone of our life. If we're not growing, so then what are we here to do? If anybody's interested in reading something amazing, I very highly recommend reading Sharshlishi in Alishore. And he talks there about the ambition of Tikkun Hamidos and really working on yourself and really growing. So I think we're always supposed to be challenging ourselves to become ideal, and in that regard we have to be truly ambitious.
And finally, when should we stop and reflect? And I think the answer to that question is every single day. Cheshbon HaNefesh is an important part of growth because we all live in a world of bias. We're all influenced by what we want. And it's important for us to stop and reflect on what direction we're taking in our life. If we don't, very often we end up driving to a destination that we never intended on going to. How many people sit there and say, 10, 15, 20, 25 years later, how did I get here? The answer is, they weren't paying attention while they were driving. They were spacing out. They were on autopilot. So stopping and reflecting, making a Cheshbon HaNefesh is a critical, critical part of personal growth. If we don't stop and reflect, we will lose our way. But if we do stop and reflect, not only will we know our destination, not only will we be calibrated to get there, but we're also going to be able to take stock of our success and our failures. There's something exceptionally empowering.
about knowing, hey, I'm doing great. There's also something exceptionally empowering about knowing this is an area I need to continue to work on. Taking a daily inventory of how your day went, how your life is going in general, what are the things you need to work on, these are so important because they actually will measure for you, are you leading the life you want to lead? How many of us get lost in the rat race of life because we just lost our way, we weren't paying attention? So we need to stop and reflect often. If it's not daily, it's got to be every other day, every third day at the max. We have to be ambitious about our growth. We were born to grow. We were born to become closer to the ideal version of ourselves. We'll never become that, but we're striving for that. We have to challenge ourselves and see what works for us, how can we best build our habits. Whoever's listening to this, I can tell you one thing, it ain't going to be an easy road. I know for me it certainly has not been easy. But I want to share with you that this journey is worth it. It's meaningful. It's important. And at the end of the day, you're going to feel great when you make a move in your life that's closer to the ideal version of who you are. It's one of the best feelings in the world. Should be with tremendous amount of hatzlacha.
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