Hasmada - Building A Relationship With Hashem

2:50 And nobody could explain the reason for the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash until Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself came and explained she'ain mevarchin b'tayra tchila because Klal Yisrael did not make a berachas atayra. Wake up in the morning, you daven shachris You make two brachos. The bracha of Lasleik beDivrei Torah and Asher Bacharbanu Mikala Amen minusal Manu as Torah soy and Klal Yisrael was sent out of Eretz Yisrael. The Beis Hamikdash was destroyed. Eretz Yisrael was destroyed because we didn't make Berchasat Torah. That's what the Gemara in the Darim says. It's a very strange Gemara. It's very difficult to understand. This means, if you're thinking about it deeply, that Klal Yisrael must have been learning Torah. And why were we expelled from Eretz Yisrael? Why was the Beis Hamikdash destroyed? Why was Eretz Yisrael destroyed? Not because we didn't learn. We learned a tremendous amount. But we didn't make a Berchas Atayra.

4:07 All the Bale Moser, all the Bale Ashkafa, all the Bale Chasidus ask the same exact question. Really? That's why the Beis Hamikdash is destroyed. Shvichas damim, gili arayas, avaydazara. We understand. Even sinas chinam, we could understand. I missed a berachas atayra And for that we have this galus, this long exile, because we didn't say a bracha. What does the Gemara mean? Bechol it's a kasha. Why do we have two berachas atayra? Of all of the various mitzvot Here we have a very unique thing that we don't just make one bracha, but we make two. What's the difference between these two brachos? And not only that But when we think about each bracha, it has a certain mystery to it. What does it mean to be oshek in taira? What does that word even mean? What does oshek mean to be engaged in taira? I know learning Torah that I can understand.

5:19 Understanding Torah, I could wrap my head around. What does it mean to be engaged in Torah? And on the flip side What does Asher Bacharbanu mean? Is it really true that Hashem chose us? Does Chazal not say in several places that Hakadosh Baruch Hu took the Torah around to all the nations of the world, and all the nations of the world rejected the Torah? And we were the only ones that accepted it. So it's like if you propose to a thousand girls and one of them says yes, it's like she You chose her. She was the only one that would say yes. Hakadosh Baruch Hu went to all the nations of the world. Then he gave it to us, and we go Asher Bacharbanu chose us. Seems like the Rebbeinu Sholom tried to give it to everybody else first. So we have two brachos, both of which need to be deeply understood. What does it mean to be Oysik and Tyra, and what does it mean Asher Bacharbanu?

6:16 I want to share with you a tishah that I heard from the Shvilei Pinchas. And he says as follows: stunning tirah. The Gemara in Pesachim forty nine B. Tirah tzivolonu Moshe My rasha kihilas Yaakov Al tikri my rasha ella meurasa. Don't read that Taira is an inheritance for you; rather, Taira is an arusa to you. What is an arusa? Now you boys all know this. There's an arusa and a nesua. An arusa in English would be your betrothed. It's the first step of marriage. A nesua That's the completion of marriage. An arusa is your wife in all things. A nesua is what makes her muteress to you. A suah is when you bring her home. The Rambam says, "How do you make a girl a suah? You take her into your house, you close the door, you're miachid with her" And now she's yours. You've declared her to be your wife. Now she goes from being an arusa stage one to a suah stage two.

7:39 Al t'kri myrasha ela meurasa. Don't say that taira is an inheritance for you. Taira is your arusa. Taira is stage one of marriage. It is your betrothed. Not yet a nesuah But your arusa. It's a very strange gemara. If the taira says 'taira tzivul anu Moshe myrasha kihlas Yaakov,' what's the taira telling us? Taira is an inheritance. How do Chazal know to say it's not an inheritance? The pasuk says it's an inheritance. How can Chazal come along and say it's not an inheritance? It's your arusa. Where do you know that from? The pasuk says it's an inheritance. The Marashah says that the Mishnah Navos says 'the Haskin Atzmacha Lil Mod Taira Sheena Yerushalacha.' You have to prepare yourself to learn Taira because Taira is not an inheritance. The pasuk says Torah is an inheritance. The Mishnah tells us if it's an inheritance, you're not going to prepare yourself to learn Torah.

8:44 So you should know Torah is not an inheritance. Now we know why the Gemara said that the pasuk can't be understood literally, because Chazal tell us Torah is not an inheritance. Inheritance is something you get without any hard work. So Torah cannot be an inheritance. It must mean that the Torah is telling us something else. What does myrasha mean? That it's your inheritance? It means it's your betrothed. But what does that really mean? What does it mean that Torah is your betrothed? The Gemara says If somebody comes along to you, Gemara and Megillah, if somebody comes along to you and they say I worked hard. I stayed in yeshiva. Rebbe, I broke my teeth over the Gemara. And I didn't understand what the Gemara says. Yagati v'lo matzasi. I worked hard. I didn't understand what the Gemara said. Al tamin. Don't believe him. And if somebody comes along to you and they say Lo yagati umatzasi, I didn't work hard, and I was matzliach in learning. Don't believe him.

9:50 Ya got to you matzasi tamen. If a guy comes along and he says, "I worked hard and I found success," then you could believe him. I don't understand the pshat in the gemara. If I'm learning math If I'm learning math, if I'm learning chveznish, I don't know actuarial mathematics. I happen to be not me personally. I failed math three twice. But let's say a person was good at math. They sit down. They open up the textbook. Some people don't have to work hard. It's like it just flows in. You ever? You hate these guys, no? They open up the book. They don't work hard. You met these kids in Hafta. They don't work hard. It just kind of goes in. It just goes into their head. Lo, yogati. They put in no work. They clearly know what they're talking about. They got a hundred on the test.

10:38 Are you really telling me that there aren't guys in this room that are natural geniuses? I'm talking about they're natural geniuses. They just Back, these guys are natural geniuses. They open up a Gemara. They're a professor of Talmud, a professor of Rashi, a professor of Tosfos, a professor of Rambam. And they're just plopping sfas left and right. They're mamish. They're like flying. They're the top guy in Sheer without even thinking. These guys are brilliant. You mean to tell me nobody in yeshiva is like that? Of course, there are guys in yeshiva like that. So what? What's the Gemara talking about? And if a guy says I worked hard and I didn't find success. There are guys in this yeshiva that break their teeth over the Gemara, and they don't have an easy time with it. They don't have an easy time, and they might feel very legitimately, "I'm killing myself, and nothing. I'm getting nothing from this. I don't understand a word, Rabbi. I'm telling you, I have a brain block. Something is wrong with me. I put the words of the Gemara in my head, whoop, goes right out."

11:40 Says the Gemara, 'Ya goti you matzasi tamid. Only if you work hard, you're going to find success.' What's the pshat here? I want to share with you what I think might be the pshat And I think this is what the Shvile Pincos means. We are not interested in this religion in making professors of Rashi. We are not interested in making professors of Tosfos. We're not interested in making professors of Ramba. That's not what success in Yiddishkeit looks like. It's not what success in learning looks like. Success in learning Success in Yiddishkeit, success in our avodas Hashem is: Do you have a relationship with your Creator? Not academic. I could repeat to you all the Gemaras in Sukkah. If a guy comes at the end of the year, and I mean every word I'm saying, I'm not exaggerating even a little bit. If a guy gets up in front of the yeshiva and he repeats 'Shak levitariya bal peh' every single word of Sukkah.

12:50 And Gemara Rashi Tosfos, and you could give him a bechina on every single thing that happened in the entire Masechta. But he has no relationship with Hashem Then he is a professor of the Talmudic. What do they call a Masechta in a track date? For those of you that know what Sancino is, he has track dates. He's a professor of a tractate of Talmud. This is not success in avodas Hashem. Success in avodas Hashem is having a relationship with my Maker. That doesn't just mean I know what the Gemara says. It's something much more profound than that. What is it that you moved the Torah from being an arusa to being a nesua? That you went from having Torah as your betrothed to having Torah be your wife. There is a difference. Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us a Torah. Torah tziva lanu Moshe. Al tikkri my rasha. This is not an inheritance. I sit back and I let the Torah come to me.

14:08 Chazal are telling us something very important. Hakadosh Baruch Hu put the Torah in front of you. He says, 'This is your Arusa. She is your betrothed, but she is not your wife.' That's your job. Your job is to move the Torah from being your Arusa to being your Nesua. And how does a Yid do that? Yegiyas haTorah. Yegiyas haTorah means that I worked hard. I dedicated myself. It was kihem chayenu va'orach yamenu. It was not a passing fancy. It's not a mood that I'm in. Marriage requires dedication. You want to know if somebody's your wife? Do you live with her? Have you been matched with her? Have you been mafresh her? Is she yours? Do you declare her to be yours? I told you this shmoos was a little bit ben adam lamalchum and a little bit ben adam lechaveru. Sometimes a bein adam la malkam shmuu sounds like between man and God, but there's also a bein adam la chavero aspect to our service of Hashem. It's where the relationship is.

15:21 The same way that every yid is deeply related to each other, every yid is deeply related to Hashem. We are not interested in professors. A professor is not in a relationship with his material. You could be a prof. You could go to UCLA. And you could be. You could sit in a math class with a professor of mathematics. That professor is a teacher. He's not in a relationship with math. And if he is It's a whole new psychological disorder that needs to be unpacked. Yeah. Is this Rabbi say? A rebbe is not a rebbe because he knows how to give a great sheir. A rebbe is a rebbe because he knows how to communicate and transmit to you what it looks like to have a relationship with Hashem, and a relationship with Hashem cannot.

16:34 Exclude not only knowledge of Torah. That of course, if you want to be in a relationship with your wife, you have to know what she's all about. But more than that, it requires dedication. It requires sweat. If a guy comes and he says, 'Lo yagati, I didn't work hard. Matzasi, and I found success.' No, you didn't work hard, and you are a genius. So Torah entered your brain, but it didn't enter your bones. She's an arusa to you. She's not your nesua. Rebbe, I worked so hard on the Gemara and I didn't find success. I don't know if you understand Teshuvah or you don't understand Teshuvah. But if you had Yegiyas HaTaira, if you worked hard, you're in a relationship with the Rebbeinu Shalom. If you were dedicated, if you put yourself out there and you said, Look, this is so vulnerable for me. I don't know if I'm even good at this thing. Maybe I'm not good at this thing. Everybody comes into yeshiva. They say learning is so hard. Of course it's hard. By definition, any time you learn, you're learning something that you don't know.

17:37 Guys, come to yeshiva. You're not supposed to be good at it. That's why you came. But Rabbi, when I open up the Gemara, it feels like gibberish to me. Me too. Me too. Every Gemara feels like gibberish when you first start it. But Rabbi, I feel like it's gibberish, and I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anywhere. Rabbi, I said when you get married, you might have no idea what your wife is talking about. Even if you work very hard to understand her It's a mysterium tremendum. What exactly does your wife mean when she says something? We have some married men in the room. You could corroborate. I feel like I'm not by myself for the first time. Don't say it out loud. Your kids are here. I could say it. My kids won't listen to the recording. My wife might listen to the recording, and maybe I'll get in trouble later. Say it there. Matzasi doesn't mean success intellectually. Matzasi means, and I have never seen a guy eighteen years in Mevasser. I've never seen a guy have real dedication to his learning and not find a relationship with Hashem. I've never seen it—not once.

18:41 Yagati umatzasi tamen. A guy who works hard will have a relationship with their Rabbis. Just to be clear. I'm talking about in Torah, of course. The Gemara says, Gemara is the Iker Talmud Torah. Tarshabal Pez, the Iker Talmud Torah. All the Baly Chasidus, all the Baly Ashkafa, all the Baly Musar. Of course, learn Gemara. But I'm talking about in every aspect of your Avodas Hashem, in every aspect of your Lemitatayra, it requires Yegiya. That's why Rav Ben says I can only talk to certain guys. I can't talk to him. You ever hear Ben say that? I can't talk to him. Why can't he talk to them? Because he looks at a guy and he says, "This guy" He's such a hard worker. I could talk to him. I get him. If a guy comes in and he's stamm like he's in camp Mivaseret Guys of camp high school, camp Mivaseret. I'm in camp Mivaseret. I come for a little tziul. I come for a chavaya. I come for a shpatzir.

19:42 That's not what this is about. That's not what this is about. You're not in a relationship with Hashem. How do you take your relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu to the next level? Yagias Hatayra. You have to work hard. It has to be dedication. If you're not dedicated, we're not talking about the same language. We're not having the same conversation. It's an unbelievable gra. The gra Beautiful gra. The gra quotes the Gemara in Avodah Zara. I'm a Rava. B'tchila Nikras Al Shmoy. In the beginning, Torah is called Hashem's, and in the end, it's called your name. How does the Torah go from being called Hashem's Torah to your Torah? The Gemara says: 'Shenemar b'Torah Hashem chefso u'v'Torah so yegai yomam velaila.' Says the Vilna Gaon: Torah becomes yours when you have yegiya, when you're willing to work on it day and night, when it becomes the way that you speak.

20:42 People say, 'Can you be a good Jew without learning Torah?' I'm a good Jew. I don't learn Torah. Can I be a good Jew without learning Torah? I don't like that phrase. I don't like that conversation. I don't know about good Jews and bad Jews. I'm not interested in those labels. You're a Jew. You're a Jew means you're in a relationship with Hashem. You're in a relationship with Hashem. You have to know what Hashem wants from you. What does Hashem want from you? He doesn't just want. He doesn't just want your hands. He doesn't just want your feet. He doesn't just want your head. He wants your heart. So he doesn't just want you to know what he wants. He wants you to care about what he wants. Caring about what the Rebbeinu Sholom wants means Yegi as Hatayra. I was Zayche. I was Zayche. I spent eight years learning under of Parnas Shlita. Eight years I was Zayche to learn by my Rosh Yeshiva, by my Rebbe. Eight years.

21:31 My Rebbe gave an unbelievable shir, greatest show on earth. All the lumdas, seven svaras a shir. You've never seen anything like it. The engagement in shir was incredible. You should have seen Rebbe Glanz back in the day when he was a bacher, firing svaras of Rapparnis and Rapparnis firing back at him. It was unbelievable to watch. Rebbe Saffer, the top talmud of Rapparnis ever, learned by Rapparnis for ten years. Reb Isaacson learned by the Rosh Yeshiva. Reb Elberger learned by the Rosh Yeshiva. Everybody learned by Rav Parnas. It was unbelievable. You know what's the pshat, Rabbi Yisai? It's not because he gave the best shir. He did. That's not the reason why we were his talmidim. It's because my Rebbe was ferocious about his learning. Because it was on his lips everywhere he went. He was talking and learning in his space. I couldn't help but fall in love with learning.

22:20 And by the way, until I went to learn from him, I was terrible at learning. When I was in Mivaseret, I was struggling to make a laning on a Gemara. I was in the lowest level She'er in the yeshiva, killing myself, breaking my teeth, feeling so stupid. How come I can't read this Gemara? It took me years to finally get it. But in my Rebbe's She'er, when I saw his dedication, his fire, his Bren, the Rishchin Da'iraisa, he lived for it. It was contagious. Shvile Pinchas brings the Mishnah Navos And we'll finish with this Mishnah before we answer some of our questions. The Mishnah Navos says, Rabbi Meir Omer, Kol Oisik B'Tyra L'Shma. Anybody who learns Tyra L'Shem Shamayim, Zayich L'Dvarim Harbe, you merit many things. Among the things that you merit, there's one in specific that we are going to highlight tonight. Megalin Loi Raze Tyra.

23:22 If you're Isaac and Tyra, remember we don't know what the word Isaac yet means. But if you're Isaac and Tyra Isaac and Tyra means that you're gonna get the secrets of Tyra revealed to you. Says the Degal Machne Ephraim Hele Geinikol of the Balshemtov. If you're Isaac and Tyra, that means you're in a relationship with Tyra. And if you're in a relationship with Tyra and Tyra is your wife. Than your wife, if you care about her deeply You know what she does. She tells you her secrets. You want to know the secret of all the Balle Kabbalah. You want to know the secret of all the Balle Chassidus, all the great Hasidic masters, the Vilna Gaon, the Ramchal, the Maral. What's the secret? Tzadik goes to Ravitcha Meir all the time. I'm telling you now, Ravitcha Meir's secret. How is it that Ravitcha Meir has access to all of the Sisrei Torah, all of the secrets of Torah? The deepest Kabbalah is not something you can learn academically.

24:26 It's something that's whispered to you by your wife. Hakadosh Baruch Hu reveals Himself to you when you care enough to be dedicated to Him. When it moves from Arusa to Nesua, now you're in a relationship with the Rebbeinu Sholom. You'll see success in learning. Rabbi said, "The pesach is. The base hamikdash was destroyed. Eretz Yisrael was destroyed. Klal Yisrael sent into galus. Nobody could figure out why" Because when they looked at Klal Yisrael, they said, 'But they're learning so much Torah.' They're learning so much Torah. How could it be that with all of this Torah, somehow they ended up in exile? The answer is because they were professors of Rashi, professors of Tzitzis, professors of Rambam. Torah is not a magain for you. Torah is not a shield for you if you don't have a relationship with Torah. If it's academic, it's a chavaya. I have a chavrusa. Rabbi, what are you talking about? I have a chavrusa. No. We're talking about much more than a chavrusa. I once heard from my Rabbi on Purim. He said, "You know what's even higher than being called a ben Torah?"

25:32 Being called a ben yeshiva. What's the difference between a ben Torah and a ben yeshiva? A ben Torah is somebody who learns. A ben yeshiva is someone who's living in learning. His life is learning, not because he's academic, but because he has heart. And a guy will come to me and he'll say to me, "But Rebbe, I'm a good Jew. Look at me. I daven and I do chesed. Why isn't that enough?" If you care about the Rebbe Nachshon So of course you care about his children. But if you care about his children, then you also have to care about his Torah. There are three things that cannot be separated: Klal Yisrael, Torah, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu are all one thing. And if you fall in love with one of them, you fall in love with all three of them. But you have to fall in love with dedication, with passion, with heart, with Asmode, with Yegiyas HaTaira.

26:22 And that's what the Taz says. The Taz says, you know what Oisik B'tayra means? I want to read to you not the whole thing. It's too long to read to you the whole thing, but I want to read to you the words of the Taz. The words here are unbelievable, powerful words. Listen to these words. He says, "V'zeu shalov berchu b'tayra tchilam." This is what it means that Klal Yisrael didn't make a bracha on their tayra first. Ki habrocha he lasts like b'divrei Torah derech tyreach dafka. The bracha of being oisik in Torah is a bracha of tircha. I worked hard on my Torah. V'nimshach mimenu and it comes out from this sheikar milas oisik in b'toyra dafka derech tyreach viyegiya. V'alze kavanu bircha lasts like b'divrei Torah. You know what oisik b'toyra means? There are two brachos. Oisik b'tayra means I didn't learn Torah. I was engaged in it.

27:17 I lived it. I was on fire from it. I couldn't stop it. One of my rabbis, I once remember, he told me, "You'll know that you've reached the level of oisik b'tayra when you have a hard time going to the bathroom because your head is in the sujia and you're not allowed to think and learn while you're in the bathroom." That's what it means to be oisik in Torah. You're consumed by it. That's what made the gedolim. That's what made the tzaddikim. They were consumed by Torah. They were passionate about it. I was hard. Yes. I want to tell you a secret. There were certain gedolim. I'm not going to say any names. There were certain gedolim that were known not to be geniuses, but they excelled tremendously because they cared, because it wasn't academic to them. Show me a guy in yeshiva who's passionate.

28:04 Who cries when he can't understand the Gemara. I'll show you a guy who's in a relationship with Hashem, and I'll tell you even more than that. He will outperform the other guys, the geniuses, guaranteed. Guaranteed. Torah requires tercha. There's two brachas. Eisik b'tayra That's when she moves from an arusa to an asua. Asher b'char banu, that's the bracha that Torah is our arusa. Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you chose us. He also give it to the nations of the world. Nah. Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave them academic Torah, and that's why they turned it down. Who wants to learn that subject? Torah is not a subject. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu came to the nations of the world, he said, "You want to hear a great subject?" Gemara." You know what they all went? Thank you. He came to Hakadosh. He came to Klal Yisrael. He said, "You want to have a relationship with me?" They said, "Yes." He said, "Great."

28:59 We were Asher Bar Charbanu. Everyone else got academic Torah. I was lucky. I grew up. I had amazing rebbeim. In elementary school, for three and a half years, I had amazing rebbeim. I asked maybe the other five and a half years, not so good. But three and a half years, I had amazing rebbeim. I had one rebbe in specific. Today is a big mashgiach in the yeshiva called Arachaim. His name is Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman. If anybody here went to Dorah Golding and you met Rabbi Finkelman, you know Rabbi Finkelman is a walking malach. If you want to know what a malach looks like in this world, go speak to Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman. And when I was in seventh grade This malach, Rabbi Mordechai Finkelman, who was our seventh grade rebbe. I remember him screaming at us. Torah is not a subject. Torah is not math. Torah is not science. It's very complex And some of the things that you can learn in Torah are the most brilliant things in the world. But it's not a subject.

29:54 Shalom Berchu b'Torah Tchila. We don't have Hasmoda week in this yeshiva because we want you to start learning twenty hours a day. It's a week to challenge yourself. Not who can finish the most block, not to be competitive, not for a raffle over a piece of kugel. If you think that's what Asmouda Week is about, you miss the point. If you think Asmouda Week is for a Josh to sing a song in a car Which, by the way, how good Shmack is—he really He just wants good things for you. If you think Hasmodequ is deli roll and kugel and eventually a gala dinner, I don't know where the word gala got into Mivaseret lexicon. I don't know how that became. Everything's gala, gala mishmar, gala this, gala that. I don't know. It's just some nice extra food. If you think I'm here because in a week from now we're not going to have mishmar and in a week from now we're going to be in the Ramada Hotel.

30:53 So you should give out nicely. Yeshivas doing Ramada Hotel Rabbi Yisai. Nobody needs to spend that much money to bring you guys to the Ramada. That's not what this is about. This is about asking yourself for one week of your life. What would it look like for me to be all in? What would it look like to challenge myself to do something hard? What would it look like from the moment I wake up in the morning to the moment I go to sleep at night to say I'm consumed by Hashem's Torah? And that's why we have guys already going back a bit. We started the Hassamad challenge a while ago. Who come through of Josh and they go When's Hasmata week? Hasmata week changed my year. It's a pressure. Some guys are afraid. What if I can't do it? Some guys are like, they're nervous about it. Say there, if you're having those feelings, you're totally normal. Everyone has that.

31:47 It's a big, it's a, it's a big thing. And yes, Mishmar is a little bit more empty than usual because there's more guys upstairs in the base, and I'm so proud of them. I want you to know I don't think we're being mevatol taira down here. I don't think singing kippa is beautiful neginim and listening to Reb Shimon play. I don't think it's bittul tayra at all. You know why? Because a tayra that's a relationship with our Kadosh Baruch Hu is also musical. Singing is also part of our relationship with Hashem. The Rebbe, moving from the beis medrash into the music, into the shmuz, back into the music, and then back upstairs to go learning. That's unbelievable. And I know that's what's going to happen. Kiva is going to give out some cholent. And guys are going to go back to beis medrash. Some guys are going to go to sleep because I want to wake up in the morning for shachris.

32:33 Because I'm not an academic, Rabbi. I want to daven. I want my davening and my chesed and my learning. I don't want to be mevatir on any one aspect of my yiddishkeit. I want to do it all. You'll say, how could you do it all? Something has to come at the expense of something. We're ambitious. We're going to do it all. We're going to do it all. B'ez Hashem, Every guy this week is not going to open their mind. But open their heart Open their soul. When you are opening up a Gemara, you dive into the Rebbeinu Sholm. Make a berachas atayra first, Rebbeinu Sholm. I am not here to become a professor of Rashi. I am here to be in a relationship with you. Ain li matayra elamisha meimusatzmo alav, And I am going to kill myself on this block Gemara, on this chumish, on this remchal, on this marral, on this tanya. Whatever safer on this, Rabbi Nachman. Whatever safer you have in front of you, I'm not stopping until I understand pshat because I want to be in a relationship with you.