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Okay. So this year is Lillunishma's Miriam's father Had the opportunity to speak with Miriam this morning. So I decided tonight, even though it's our last shir before Pesach. I think Miriam was a big part of our year. She's certainly a big part of my year. And it would be more appropriate instead of giving shir on Pesach to give a shir that's kashur to what Miriam and all of us. What all of us are going through when When a family member loses a family member Even if it's not our immediate family, still we're together. We've had unfortunately in yeshiva over the years. We've had times where talmidim have lost a parent in the middle of the year. It's something that the whole yeshiva goes through. Talmidim are a family. Terrible tragedy.
The Gemara in Yoma tells us about the Kruvim The Kruvim that were on top of the Aaron. So the Kruvim—different explanations—exactly what the Kruvim were. One of the explanations is that the Kruvim were like the husband and the wife. Gemara says that in times where Klal Yisrael was not acting appropriately So the Kruvim would turn away from each other And in times where Klal Yisrael was acting appropriately Representing the harmonious relationship that we have with Hakadosh Baruch Hu So the Kruvim would face each other. Gemara says a strange thing. The Gemara says that on Tishah B'av At the time of the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash The Kruvim were found in loving embrace. Not only were they facing each other The Kruvim were found in loving embrace. One would have expected obviously Exactly the opposite. Why did we go to Gullus? Because we had done terrible averes.
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So one would have expected that when they came into the Beis Hamikdash to destroy the Beis Hamikdash, the Kruvim would have been facing away from each other. And instead, we find that the Kruvim were in loving embrace. What's the pshat in this Gemara? It's a hard thing to think about But I've learned in my life that there is a treasure that can be mined in our most difficult moments. The truth of the matter is. That while everybody in this room, including myself Would love to live in a world where there are no bumps We would love to live in a world where everything is good. Where nobody has any tsar, where nobody has any pain. But it's not like that And there's a reason that it's not like that. Because in the darkness of our life Sometimes. That's where we find the greatest treasure. But why is it that way?
Why is it that it takes a tremendous amount of pain to sometimes wake us up into new levels of being? If you speak to people who have suffered, or who have fallen into addiction. And you speak to them five, ten, fifteen, twenty years down the line, and you ask them, "What was the turning point in your life?" They'll tell you that at rock bottom, at the darkest moments, when everything in my life was falling apart That was the single most important turning point of my life. As they say in Alcoholics Anonymous. Rock bottom is a beautiful place to build a foundation. Why is it? That the Rebbeinu Shlom created the world in such a way that sometimes we need to go to the depths of darkness, where mamish seems like my entire world is shattered, and I can't even imagine going on to discover these new dimensions of being.
The truth of the matter is, we could tie it into Pesach because Klal Yisrael had to go down to Mitzrayim to be in the forty-ninth level of tumah. In order to have Kabbalah Satora, it was not possible for Klal Yisrael to get to Kabbalah Satora until they had reached that level. Where had they stayed in Mitzrayim even one moment longer, they would have been lost forever. Why is it that way? Why couldn't Hakadosh Baruch Hu just go Avram, Yitzchak, Yaakov, Shvatim, Har Sinai? Why did there need to be two hundred and ten years of slavery? Why did there need to be millions of Jews who were murdered by the Egyptians? Millions of Jews. We think the Holocaust, six million Of course, an insane tragedy. The Holocaust was a drop in the bucket compared to 210 years of murder and torture in Mitzrayim. If you read the Medrash and you see how the Mitzrayim were so sick, they were baking children into the bricks.
The pyramids of Egypt were built. On the destruction of Klal Yisroel, it was designed to destroy us. Why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu have to take us there? And we see that when did Hakadosh Baruch Hu tell Avram Avinu that we were going into the depths of Mitzrayim and the Bris Bein Adam LaAdam? That it was already in the moment that Hakadosh Baruch Hu forms a covenant with Avram Avinu in that moment where he says, "It's you and me." This is the Bris. You're going down to Mitzrayim. Why? Why is that a necessary part of the process? Medrash says that the reason why Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world is Nesava Hakadosh Baruch Hu lios lo yisbarach dire b'tachtaynim. The reason why Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the world is because He has a desire to have a dwelling place in the world down below. What does it mean to have a dwelling place in the world down below?
Hapichasidus A dwelling place, a dira means a place where you can be you. It's a place where you can feel comfortable. What's the number one thing we all want in a relationship? Every one of us in this room wants this more than anything else. You have your list. You have your shouldach list that you've put together, this piece of paper, as if that's what you're going to marry. A piece of paper. You have the list that every girl's putting together right now. I want a learner, earner. I want to earn a learner. I want him to be tall. I want him to be short. I want him to be nice. I want him to be besimcha. I want him to be thoughtful. Everybody has their list. I'll tell you the number one thing that's on your list that won't be on your list. You want to know what you want? Everybody wants this. Everybody, including myself, wants this. We want someone with whom we could be ourselves.
That's what we really want. Somebody that could know all parts of us and accept us. Somebody with whom we could be absolutely one hundred percent authentic. It's not on our list. So when people are dating, they say he has this hashkafah, he has that hashkafah, he's this, he's that. Gross, tazovitzer. Not that the hashkafah is not important; it is. But there's something much more fundamental that you can't even begin to talk about hashkafah if this is not there. Is this someone? That will allow me to be me. That when I'm in a bad mood, it's okay for me to be in a bad mood. That when there are things that I'm not perfect at, when there are things that I'm not only not perfect, when there are things that I'm almost falling apart, this person says it's okay. I'm with you. Everybody in this room has bad days, including myself. You ever have a day where you wake up and you're like I feel like I'm an under a person today. I feel like I'm just like a totally different person. Like today I'm just not in the mood. Today I'm not in the mood to dive, and today I'm not in the mood to learn. Today I'm not in the mood to get dressed. I'm not in the mood to do anything. Is this a person that's going to sit there in judgment of me Or is this a person that's going to say
"This is a place where you are loved and accepted exactly as you are"? That's what we all want, isn't that true? The reason why we don't feel safe is not because the people that we're in relationships with are not good people; they're great people. The reason why we don't feel safe in a relationship is because we don't know. If they'll really accept us I'll tell you what it sounds like from a rebbe's perspective. Sometimes I'll give a shmuus, and I'll say to the guys, "Guys, you're amazing. You're wonderful. You're being tired. I see how much you're stiging." And a guy will sheepishly come over to me and he'll say Rebbe, you don't know me. You don't know me. You don't know where I was last night. You don't know the things that I have in my head. You don't know the funny thought. You don't know the thing that I once did. You don't know who I am.
You know what he's really saying? I want so badly to be able to tell you, Rebbe, the averas that I've done, but I can't bring myself to do it because I don't know what the relationship will be like afterwards. I don't know if you'll look at me in judgment. I don't know if you'll look at me differently. Isn't that the uncomfortable part? If you open up to a mechanechet, or a Rebbe here in Sharfman's, and you say that I'm sorry, in Torah door, and you say I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Kind of hurt. When you teach in multiple places, We're all the same to you. I mean that in a positive way. All just Jews And I give the same shiur wherever I am. I mean that sincerely. But isn't that the uncomfortable part? That you had that you ever had that time where you have a great meeting you have a great session and then afterwards you're like It was so raw that like you're like I need not to see that person in the hallway.
For at least, I just hope Rabbi Fix stays in his office for a little bit of time. I don't want to have to do that awkward thing where I go Cause what are we really saying? I don't know if when you see me for who I really am I don't know if that is acceptable. We live with such a deep sense of shame. We live with such a deep sense of. I'm unworthy of love and connection because of the person that I am. That if I actually have the courage to show you who I am, I don't know if you're going to cut and run. Happens all the time when girls are dating. Because we want to show up to a date and say I got guys too. I don't mean to put it on the girls. Guys also want to show up to a date and say, here I am. What's the problem?
If I say that You might book. And that's the hardest thing in the world to know that I put myself out there, and then another person said, "No, thank you." We tell people it's not personal; it's just that they couldn't build a A lasting, healthy, and enduring relationship with each other. So it's not personal; it just didn't work. It wasn't good. But Lamaisa, if I put myself out there and I say, "Here I am," and you go, "No, thank you" It's deeply uncomfortable. What does it mean to have a dira betachtayim with Hashem? It means: Are we willing to be authentic in our relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Are we willing to show up to Hashem and really be ourselves? It's really important to know that the one thing you can't fake in life is authenticity. The only thing you can't fake is authenticity. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants a relationship with us. What type of relationship with Hakadosh does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want? I'll tell you the way I grew up. Maybe you grew up the same way. I have a feeling that at least some of you could relate to this.
You ever feel like what you're supposed to be in your relationship with Hashem is perfect? You ever feel like what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants is mitzvos and what He doesn't want is averos? So if I'm doing averos, I'm bad, and if I'm doing mitzvos, I'm good. Did you grow up that way? Maybe you grew up with an image of a scale. You ever hear those scale stories? In Shamayim, after 120 years old, there was a scale, and a person is going to come, and they're going to have all their mitzvahs on one side, and it's going to be all their avers on the other. And every one of us is thinking when we hear that shmuus from that rebbe, that's going to be bad, because I know how much is going to be on this side of the scale, and I know how much is going to be on this side of the scale, and it's pasha that it's not going to be weighted in my favor. And then there's some story that you heard about the Bar Shemtov. That one time a guy pulled horses out of a ditch and did a chesed for another person and then all the horses jumped on one side of the scale and he went straight to Gan Eden. Baruch Hashem, great for him. But I don't have any horses. I never pulled any horses out of a ditch. I don't know what's gonna be on this side.
Here's some rebbe who comes along and needs a shmuus. Did you ever help one person? You don't know how that impacted. And he's of course. But lemaisa, we all know who we are, and we know the lashon hara that we tell And we know the kavanah that we do or don't have in davening And we know that. That really the ikker tefila that we should be davening every day is tefila saderich, because if you're in the middle of davening shemayn esrei, you're thousands of miles away from Yerushalayim Eretz Yisroel, and pasha that you've crossed at least two or three oceans And the first time that you had kavanah bechalal during davening was by the shir shol yom because you had to remember what day it was. That's if you're a boy and you're sitting there and it's like. There's a choson that day. Somebody in Shevah Bracha says there was no tachnun, and you're cheering, Baruch Hashem, davening is three minutes shorter. We know who we really are. I heard a terrible line. We don't want to daven. We want to have davened.
It's uncomfortable, though. It's uncomfortable. We know that's the way we feel sometimes. We know sometimes we wake up in the morning and we open that seder. We know who we are. So We're not bad people We grew up thinking mitzvahs are good, aviros are bad. And I know I'm not. I know who I am. So I know I've got more. And then the worst part is, then what do we think? I know who I am. Maybe I know some of the girls, but I know other girls. These robots. You know that girl, the robot girl. That from the time she was a fetus, she was always doing the right thing. That girl is the head of the class, and every teacher, every rebbe, every rashi, everybody loves that girl. She's the one who's going to have the golden shidduch resume, and everything's going to be perfect. She's good.
Mamela, I know where I'm holding. And Yiddishkeit is for those girls. Isn't that the way that some of us, at least, may once upon a time have felt? You ever have that? And then, what do we think about our rebbeim and our teachers? They. Are either people who grew up as that girl, or they're like us, but they flipped out and now they're perfect. So as long as I'm not them, what am I? Deeply ashamed of the person that I am. So you sit here looking at me You say overweight with a beard. Must be a tzaddik. Must be. Otherwise, how does a bird get up here every week and give the shmuzin? Because Rebbi is capable of speaking to us because he never does any Aveiros. So good in the scale of Shamayim, it must be that he's weighted. It's not true, but I'm like the Balshemt of story. You know why I put on all this weight? So that when I go on one side of the scale, I'll clearly outweigh all of my Aveiros.
It's not brilliant. Thank you for laughing at that joke. I'm gonna have real shame issues tonight about my eating. It's not true. It's not only not true. It's a devastating way of seeing the world, and it's not what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants. When you're in a relationship with somebody, what's important is not that they be perfect. What's important is that they be them. Hakadosh Baruch Hu did not ask you to be perfect. Hakadosh Baruch Hu asked you to be in a relationship with Him. What does that mean? Every relationship has three qualities. Quality number one is the boundaries within which the relationship exists, the do's and don'ts of the relationship. Every relationship has this. Every relationship has this. You're dating a guy. He says, "This is what's important to me." And you say to yourself, "I could do that." He says, "This is what's not. This is what's important to me that you don't do. I could do that." Then you say the same thing to him.
That's called a mitzvah. A mitzvah is when somebody says this is what's important to me. Can you do this for me? If the answer to that question is yes, then great. That's a mitzvah. But there's another dimension to a relationship And that's an avera. It's what happens when I don't do the thing that you ask me to do. Is the relationship over because I didn't do the right thing? No. Of course not. Of course not. Because no relationship could exist like that. So people think to themselves, Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants me to be perfect. He wants me to do only mitzvot. Of course, that's what he wants from us. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants more than that. He wants to be in a relationship with us. So what happens when we don't do the right thing? What would you want if you think to yourself for a second? What do you want when you're married?
You have two options. You're probably not going to marry a perfect person. Is that fair to assume? Probably because you won't be perfect either. Is that fair? So it's good. We could take away the expectation because since you're not going to be perfect, he won't be perfect. Good. So you're going to say it's really important to me that you do this. And you're probably going to know that at some point he's going to mess up. So you have two options. Option number one is he comes in the house and he says, "This. I know that you asked me to do this thing And the truth of the matter is that I didn't And I'm not proud of the fact that I didn't. I got caught up in something else that I shouldn't have. I wasn't paying attention. I didn't do it because I hate you. I didn't wake up with intent this morning to hurt you. I didn't do the thing that you asked me not to do. Starting off by saying 'Henri Muhinu Muzuman Lakayim Mitzvus,' I want to do the opposite of what my wife wants. I didn't do it to hurt you. I'm not a bad person.
But I wasn't sensitive And I'm sorry. The truth of the matter is, when I say I'm sorry, I'm not telling you I'm never going to do it again. I'm just letting you know you are important to me. And it's something that's important to me too, because it's important to you. So I'm going to work on it. I won't be perfect, but I'm here with you. That's option number one. Option number two is he comes in and lies about it. I was caught in traffic the entire time. I was caught in traffic the entire time. I know you told me you needed me to be home at a certain time. The Emma says there was I was sitting on the Van Wyck. Yom Hashem. Who could drive on the Van Wyck? It took me. It takes three hours just to get ten minutes on the Van Wyck. I was there the entire time And you were somewhere else. If you really think, what would you rather have? The first one, of course, but the second one, you won't be angry. The second one, you go, he really did his best. What do you really want? Why do you want the first one? Why do you want him with you?
Because he cares more. Because he's him. Because he's real. Because he's present in the relationship. Because it's not about the doing; it's about the being. The doing is forgivable. The being is unforgivable. You could do the wrong thing in a relationship as long as you're in the relationship. But if you won't be in the relationship, if you're going to pretend to be somebody that you're not, then we're not in a relationship with each other. Does that make sense? To do a mitzvah, that's pasuk. If my wife says to do something, I want to do what she wants me to do. And I want to do what she wants. If my wife says do something, I want to do it. So great, and if I do it and I have her in mind Unbelievable Great kolakavod. But that's just doing. Being in a relationship means that even when I do the wrong thing, I still show up.
And we have to create safety for our spouses. That's the first rule: safety first. We have to create safety for our spouses to be able to say, 'This is a non-judgmental place where, even when you mess up, and even if I'm hurt by the fact that you messed up' You are still lovable. You are still here, and I'm still here with you. That's the second dimension of a relationship. That's called tshuva. Authentic repentance does not mean that you're never gonna do the average again. Authentic repentance means that right now Because of how much I care about you, it's unimaginable that, given the choice to make the mistake, I would choose to make the mistake. That I might make the mistake sometime again in the future could very well be. But right now, the simple act of staying present in the relationship has value. That's the second dimension of the relationship.
But even that's easy. Relative to the third dimension of the relationship, the third dimension of the relationship is as follows: Will you stay loyal to me when we can't find each other? Sometimes couples get caught in bad systems. It's not because they're bad people. It's very rarely because they're bad people. But systems can be very painful. And a husband and a wife, without knowing, Without intending to They could end up in a system where they're just hurting each other very badly. Where they're being triggered deeply from parts of themselves that come from their childhood And as a result, they're lashing out. And it's not because they think the other person is a bad person, though they might tell themselves that story. But because they're just so hurt by the other person, and they're stuck in this pattern, sometimes for years Sometimes for years, in a couple, the husband might say, totally inadvertently, he'll say something, and all of a sudden the wife just goes off, or the opposite.
The opposite. The wife says something, and the husband is just so deeply triggered. He's always doing this, right? You ever hear these fights? You always do this. This always happens any time I try to do anything. It's never good enough, right? And they get lost in the darkness and they can't find each other, causing each other so much pain. How do such couples stay married? Again, we have two choices. If they're going to stay married One is they stay married but they give up on the relationship. In Rachmanil Itzlun, we find such people. That they live in loveless marriages. Often, just for the sake of the children. Having nothing to do with each other But just because we're waiting to get the kids out of the house, maybe we'll get divorced afterwards. We're just here in the meantime. I had once many years ago a Talmud who came to yeshiva in the beginning of the year. He said to me, "Rabbi, can we speak?" I said, "Of course."
We went to the side, and he said, "Rabbi, my parents got divorced last year." So I said, "Did you see it coming?" It was no I never saw my parents fight. I never saw my parents fight. It was like mamish out of the blue. And I thought to myself I wonder what was going on. And I met his parents. And they told me the story. They had given up on the relationship. Sometimes when a couple fights, it's because they care enough to fight. On the outside, it may look like they're fighting with each other, but on a certain level, they're fighting for each other because at least they're willing to stay engaged. At least they're willing to argue. But sometimes we get so lost in the dark that we push it. Just give up on each other. We just we're we're here. We're just together. It's a marriage of convenience As my grandmother would say.
The only thing they share between them is a shopping cart. What she meant was It's cheaper to live with each other. We can go shopping. Shopping for two people is easier than shopping for one. There are such couples. All they share is a shopping cart between them. And then there's a much more profound marriage Where even in the deepest moments of our pain, even when we're so hurt by the other person We discover a dimension of faith that exists within that moment. Where I'm amish so upset at you and I'm so hurt and you're touching the deepest parts of me And if Amish feels like I want to run away from you with every fiber of my being And we say no. I'm not leaving. There's something about this relationship that demands that I be loyal to the relationship, and I'm going to continue to search for you even in the greatest moments of pain, and I'm going to keep working at this until we figure it out.
On the outside, it might look like that couple is mashing hurting each other, they're mashing fighting. But on the inside, they're expressing the most profound expression of faith. Which is loyalty. It's a trust. It doesn't make any sense. It's not logical. It's a trust that you'll be there for me. And I'll be there for you after all this is over. I have no idea where it comes from because we've been fighting for so long, and the relationship is so bad and so torturous, and yet somehow there's hope. And that hope might be crushed again and again. The death of hope is the hardest thing in the world to suffer. It's like maybe this time it'll be better. That couple goes to a marriage therapist, and maybe this time it'll be better, but that therapist doesn't work. They take another break, a year or two, and then they try again. This time another therapist. Maybe it'll work this time, and then it doesn't work. Another therapist, and they've been through eight, nine, ten therapists, and every single therapist they go to, it doesn't work.
And every inside of them, it's the death of hope. It's the most painful thing in the world. I want so badly to be able to find this person in the dark, and I just somehow can't find them. But that marriage expresses loyalty. That marriage expresses emuna. It's a faith that there's something here, and it's so covered up by all the shmuts. There's something here. What does Hakadosh Baruch Hu desire? A dwelling place in the world down below. What does that mean? Does He want our mitzvos? Of course. Does He want us to do tshuva when we make a mistake? Of course. He wants us to show up and say, "I'm sorry. You're important to me. I made a mistake." What does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want most of all? That even in the moments where we mamish can't see Hakadosh Baruch Hu, where we're in so So much pain beyond anything we could possibly imagine, where the death of hope has occurred.
That we tap into a dimension of emuna, of faith, of loyalty in the relationship that we say, "I'm not leaving." That's what Klal Yisrael has done throughout history. That's how we build a diro betachtanim. You know why we suffer throughout history? We suffer throughout history because we have the opportunity every time they persecute us. We do not give up on our Judaism. The Crusades, the Holocaust, Mitzrayim—it doesn't matter. The Cossacks drafting us into the army, stripping everything away from us. And you know what we've done throughout history? You're not going to take away my Yiddishkeit. And even though so many people have asked throughout history Why? Why should I believe in God? Even the question itself. It's a profound statement of faith. It's a profound statement of loyalty. It's how could you possibly do this to me? It's asking Rabbi Nachman, I want so badly to be close to you. And how many Yidden have not given up?
And even those that you may think have given up have not given up Because those Jews that you might see to be less observant Push them against the wall, and they'll tell you how Jewish they are. It's an unbelievable thing. I grew up in the Young Israel Farakway. In Israel, far away, every Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur, we would have these Russian families that would come to shul just for Yomim Noraim And frankly, they were culturally different than us. They looked different than us. They dressed differently than us. They smelled different than us. And every year When these kids would show up for Yomim Noraim They were proudly Jewish. We're here for Yomim Noraim. And I remember one year, my friend said, "I don't understand why you bother. You only come to shul on Yomim Noraim," and there was this big Russian kid. He's like, "What? You think you're better than me because you come to shul every Shabbos? I'm less Jewish than you are." I wasn't as proud of my Yiddishkeit as he was, and I showed up to shul every Shabbos.
It's not a question of observance. We are so exceptionally loyal to Hashem. And that is the greatest statement of 'Dear B'tachtayim, Hakadosh Baruch Hu, you could be comfortable in our world. Our job is to make Hashem comfortable. And we make Hashem comfortable when we do His mitzvos. When we're imperfect and yet we say I'm sorry And when even he punishes us We're right there with him. In Mitzrayim Our children were being murdered. Mothers were having six children at a time. And the Egyptians wanted to murder them, and they did. For hundreds of years And we were idolatrous in Mitzrayim. To the degree that when we were being saved in Kriyas Yam Suf, the Malachim said to Hakadosh Baruch Hu,"Halalu over the Avodah Zara, halalu over the Avodah Zara. We were also idolatrous. Just like the Midrashim. But we didn't give up. We were still Jews. We didn't change our names. We didn't change our dress. We didn't change our language.
We were Jews. We proved to Hakadosh Baruch Hu that He can be comfortable in this world. Returning to our Gemara In the moment of the Churban Bayis When the Beis Hamikdash is in flames You would have expected for the Kruvim to be facing away from each other, because isn't it true that in that moment we were not loyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Isn't that why the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed? The Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of the Averes that we did. So the Kruvim should have been facing in opposite directions. This was the time of separation of husband and wife. Comes along the Gemara and says the most unbelievable thing. In the greatest moment of separation, what was Hakadosh Baruch Hu expressing? This is where our relationship is. It's not over. It's going to look like it's over. It's going to be the craziest darkness.
It's going to be the death of hope. You're going to see the Ma'akam HaMikdash, the place where the Shechina was shire. You're going to see it up in flames, and you now have the opportunity to find faith and to stay loyal to the relationship. Girls, do we have any idea? Why terrible tragedies happen in Klauser? We have no idea. And anybody who tries to tell you why, run for the hills. We have no idea why anything happens. The Rebbe that I received smicha from, that I took my smicha shiram with, I remember that his mother passed away. And there was some mukhubble, some fake mukhubble, who came to him and he said to him, "Would you like me to tell you why your mother died?" And this Rebbe said to him. You can tell me why mother died when you can tell me why this blade of grass is growing. Tell me why one blade of grass is growing. If you can explain every single blade of grass in this world, then you could tell me why mother died. We have no idea why tragedy occurs.
But we do know that tragedy presents us with an exceptional opportunity. To really cultivate a perspective of emuna To maintain our loyalty And I spoke to Miriam this morning And the amount of emuna that she has is unbelievable. Mam is inspiring. That even in the darkness of what she's going through She's right there with Hashem. That doesn't happen overnight. That takes work. It takes faith. It takes a perspective that was cultivated. I'm sure it was before she came to Tomer Devora, but at least for a year and a half here in Tomer Devora, I saw all the girls working on themselves and becoming real people. Real people know that they don't need to be perfect. Real people know that they need to stay present. We should not let tragedies just go by like a story. You know this. People today hear something. It's like, did you hear this terrible thing happen? The people say, yeah, I heard it's terrible, and they just keep eating their cereal as if nothing happened. And we have to be that way because there are so many tragedies in the world that we have to be people who could keep going.
But we also need to be people that know how to listen to our messages. We need to be able to know that when one of us is suffering, it's a message for all of us. It's an opportunity. To be able to reach out today and express your hakaras hatov to your parents. It's an opportunity to take a message of a zillion different messages. I'm not going to get into every single one. You girls are smart enough to figure out for yourself. But one thing for sure Can you work on your emuna this year? Of course you can. And I know you have been But you have to make it real. And the moon is not something that's logical. And the moon is not even something that's emotional. The moon is something that needs to be in your hands. It needs to be something that we live with.
Because ultimately it's what saves us in life. Can you be loyal to your children when they're doing exactly what you want them not to be doing? How hard that is when your children are driving you crazy. And you say, "I'm with you anyway." I was listening to an unbelievable podcast. There's a podcast that just came out this week. You must listen to it. It's on a podcast called "Eighteen Forty" And Rabbi Grama, who's a rebbe in Los Angeles And his daughter Spoke about their experience of being in two different places religiously. An exceptionally profound podcast. But I was so touched. I was so moved because the love that exists between Rabbi Grama and his daughter is real. Their love transcends observance. It's essential. That's our opportunity. Our opportunity is to have emuna in our hands. To really think about what this relationship with our Kadosh Baruch Hu means to us. Not to try to be perfect. Tazovitzel, we're not going to be perfect, but to be real.
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