Tisha B'Av - Disconnect to Connect

2:46 It was the clothing that they had for Mashiach. So there's something anticipatory about the day as well. There's an obvious question on this tomorrow. How many birthdays does Mashiach have? Every year, Mashiach is born on Tishah B'Av. Was he only just born once? So what's with Mashiach today? How long has Mashiach been around? I want to tell you a very common story. I'm not thinking of any story in particular, but for those that know, this is a very common story. A guy and a girl start dating. And it's going well. They've been going out for a couple of weeks already. And it's gotten to the stage of seriousness where it could go one way or the other. And the couple doesn't know which way it's going to go. And inevitably Inevitably, a trip has been planned. The trip was planned before they started dating. The girl was going to be a madrichan mechelat The guy is going to be a madrichan ncsykola, whatever it is, they're going to be away from each other for an extended period of time.

4:04 Winter break Going away for Sukkot. There's always somehow it always works out. Then in the middle of dating There's a break. There's a break, and inevitably I get the phone call. I'm sure many rabbanim get this phone call. Should I go on the trip or should I not go on the trip? That's the flare that they have. And this is what it sounds like. If I go on the trip. I'm afraid we're going to lose the momentum that we have. We've been dating for a month; it's going really well. It's exciting. But I'm afraid we're going to lose the momentum. But on the other hand, but on the other hand Maybe it's good for us to be away from each other for a period of time. Maybe we'll see if we miss each other. Maybe we'll see that it's really special and I find myself.

5:01 Looking to call the other person, and it's difficult to be away. I'll know for sure. Then I'll know for sure. Because absence can do one of two things. Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Which is exceptionally powerful. Absence can numb the relationship. It can dull the relationship. It can make it feel okay. It's not the biggest deal in the world if I don't spend time with this person. And especially when couples are dating, they have a strong need to feel like they're excited to spend the rest of their lives with this person. And so we find ourselves in a situation where the base of Mitzvah has been destroyed for thousands and thousands of years. I wish I could say that after thousands of years. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I wish I could sit here in front of you and authentically tell you that I yearn for Mashiach the way I'm supposed to yearn for Mashiach.

6:09 I wish I could sit here and tell you that I need the Beis Hamikdash in my life That I miss it, that I can't live without it, that life without the Beis Hamikdash is impossible. I wish I could sit and tell you that But it's not true. And I don't think I'm alone. I spent this half Shabbos with built. I was spending some time with the head of Built. And he said to me Who would take a selfie by a grave? Who would take a smiling selfie by a grave? Who would take the time to travel across the world with their family and make a bar mitzvah by a grave? Only we could do that because we're so numbed to the pain. Of the tragedy of losing the Beis Hamikdash That we sing and dance by the Beis Hamikdash We're so numb. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.

7:13 We don't even think about it anymore. Two years ago, I was on the roof of Yeshiva Akhotel with Moshe Weinberger. And it overlooks Harabaya's. And Weinberger was crying. He was crying. That in the place of our base hamikdash There's a mas. And I was looking at Rav Weinberger and I have A little bit in a strange way, I was like He feels something that I do not feel. I wish I could say that I did. A tzaddik like that can feel something. I'm looking at him, going We have the kotel And we have the state of Israel And even though it's not the uli shleima, it's so much more than our ancestors had. Do I really miss the Beis Hamikdash? Am I really excited about the concept of Mashiach? Tell the story of R. Hutner. Hutner was the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Sinai Berlin. Was one of the great tzaddikim of the last generation.

8:21 And for a period of time, R. Hutner was here in Eretz Yisrael. And the ask of Hutner What do you miss most? About being in America. For those that live in Israel Whenever we go back There are things. Even though today, Baruch Hashem, it's much different, but there are still things you can't get. There are still things you can't get. I travel all across the country and try to go to specific places. I try to go to Chicago. So I can get Romanian, and I can load up. My entire bag full of salami. I come back to Yeshiva. My office looks like a deli. I've got twelve, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen salamis hanging from the ceiling in my office. Certain things you can't get in Eretz Yisrael. Certain foods you can't get. There's no castel in Eretz Yisrael. Rofutner, what do you miss? What do you miss?

9:14 This was a long time ago. Before we had the fancy things that we have today in Eretz Yisrael. And Rofutner said The one thing I miss about being in America is that I miss yearning to be in Eretz Yisrael. I miss yearning to be in Eretz Yisrael. We come so often. How many of us came for our bar mitzvahs and for our brothers' bar mitzvahs and our sisters' bat mitzvahs and to visit the aunt that lives here and the uncle that lives here? We're here, Baruch Hashem, all the time. But we lost out on something by coming so often. We lost out on something by having it so accessible. We lost out on yearning for Eretz Yisroel. I don't know which rebbe it was, and I don't know if it matters because I don't know if it's a true story. But it's a true story, even if it's not a true story.

10:06 But there was a rebbe in Poland that one of his chassidim was traveling to Eretz Yisroel, and in Eretz Yisroel, he said to himself, 'What can I bring back for my rebbe?' What gift can I bring back? And so when he was there, he saw a bottle of wine that was made in Eretz Yisrael, and he said, 'This is the best gift that I could bring back for my Rebbe. He can make Kiddush on this. He can make Abdallah on this.' And he brought a bottle of wine back with him to Poland. And the Rebbe received the gift, and his face lit up. A bottle of wine from Eretz Yisrael, and he gathered all of his children around. And he said to his children We're about to uncork a bottle of wine from Eretz Yisrael. That means that the avirah de eretz Yisrael, the air that's trapped inside of this bottle It comes all the way from Israel.

10:54 So let's gather around so we can all smell the air of eretz Yisrael as we uncork the bottle. I'm not going to say which program. There's a certain camp in America, and it doesn't matter which one. There's a certain camp in America that they do trips Trips across the world. They take one of the divisions. They go to Costa Rica. They've gone to Thailand. And the head of the camp was telling me We go to Israel. But we only do the fun stuff. We don't even go to Jerusalem. We do not go to the Kotel on this trip because they've been there so many times. So take them to Israel and bring them to Yerushalayim, bring them to the base on Megnas and bring them to Kever Rachel—they've seen it. They've done it. It's not interesting. We take them rappelling, and we take them down the Dan River, and we take them hiking. But I'm not going to do the regular stuff with them.

11:49 And he was saying this, and I was like "Could come to Eretz Yisrael and not visit the Kotel? Is that possible? That's where we are today? That a Jew could come to Eretz Yisrael and not visit the Kotel?" And I was thinking about myself: Am I really much better? I live here in Eretz Yisrael. How often do I go to the kotel? If I'm with a bus from TJJ and they're having Friday night dinner at the kotel, I go to the kotel. If it's a yeshiva and we're having a program at the kotel, I go to the kotel. Am I machpid to go to the kotel and to tear kriyat the kotel? Today, everything is like, how can I get out of tearing kriyat the kotel? Whether it's the right thing or the wrong thing, I'm not getting into the halacha of it. But we're unwilling to sacrifice a shirt.

12:36 We're unwilling to sacrifice a shirt. Today you can buy shirts that they sell. There are three types of shirts they sell. Cheap shirts that you can buy, right outside the kotel. So you shouldn't have to ruin your nice shirt. They say that Rav Yishu'el Diskin That Rav Yishu'el Diskin, as he was walking to the kotel As soon as he saw it from a distance, he would start to tremble, and as he got closer, he would be crying. He couldn't make it because he was so broken from it. Rav Yosef Chaim Zunenfeld had an apartment that was overlooking Dakota. And he was visited by a British dignitary. And the British dignitary said to him, "Rav Yosef Chaim, you're the chief rabbi of Yerushalayim. Why do you live in such a small, broken apartment?" And he pointed out his window and he said When that house gets rebuilt, mine will be built.

13:25 These were people that had sensitivity. Me, can I say I have sensitivity? Can I say that I'm sitting here on the floor In NCSY Kol And I'm crying because my house was destroyed, because I told you Baruch's house was destroyed. Can I say that honestly? The spiritual power the Marral says that will rebuild the Beis Hamikdash is the longing for the Beis Hamikdash. So how do we long for the Beis Hamikdash when we don't even know what we've lost? When Baruch Hashem today we have so much. How can somebody tell us that we're paupers? It's hard to feel like a pauper when you feel rich. This is not the Yiddishkeit of even seventy-five years ago, a hundred years ago. Where we longed to be back in Eretz Yisrael because our entire lives were under the threat of expulsion and death. Today, the concentration camps are something that we visit.

14:28 They've been made into museums. We're not afraid of padrams. Baruch Hashem, we've been blessed with the state of Israel. We have an army. It's not perfect. It's not what we want it to be. But it's so good. And even though there's so much anti-Semitism in the world and it's growing, just today, the Independent published. The headline was? The Independent, Zechas of a newspaper. Their headline was that the IDF killed. Four Gazans trying to cross the border. That was the headline. You know what the facts were? They were armed to the teeth. They had grenade launchers. They had knives. They had guns. You could see the pictures of all the things that we confiscated from them. The headline is they tried to cross the border. So there's still anti-Semitism. There's still a bias towards Israel. But there is an Israel and there is an army. It's hard to feel like a pauper.

15:29 Sefer Charedim writes, "Vovu mishan evne." We build the base of mikdash with our lives. We build the base of mikdash with our hearts. Kuntzer said, 'There's nothing more whole than a broken heart.' But I don't sit here today with a broken heart. I wish I could tell you I have a broken heart. I wish I could shed some tears—one, two, three—even crocodile tears, just to show you that there are people that cry. I'm not a person like that. I wish I was But I'm not. And maybe if you're sitting here today Maybe you also feel that way. Maybe it's hard to relate to the kinos. Maybe it's hard to sit and fast. It's just another day of fasting, but I don't even remember what I've lost. So I want to share with you an idea from the Magid Mezuz. The pasuk says. Kolrode fell, he segua bainamitzarim. Bainamitzarim.

16:29 All her pursuers overtook her between the boundaries. We know that the measure says, "What is bainamitzarim?" Bainamitzarim means the three weeks from Shiva Asar B'Tamid to Tishah, culminating in Tishah. These were the weeks that we were pursued. The Magid Mezrich says something unbelievable. And I think for us At least partially, an answer. Don't read it Kolrodefel. Read it, Kolrodeifkav. Anybody who's chasing after God can be massive. Can understand Bein Hamitzvah. Rabbi said, we cannot sit here today and feel impoverished. I don't think it's possible. I don't think it's going to be real for us. There are Jews that feel it. If you're one of those Jews, that's amazing. I'm jealous of you. But for the rest of us For those of us that are some simple Jews that are just trying to make it from a shakers to a mincha and a mincha to a mirv, for those of us that maybe have trouble staying off of our phone on Shabbos because it's so long For those of us that have trouble davening at all, let alone davening with passion.

17:48 For those of us that see tefillin as just something that we put on our arms, as opposed to connecting ourselves deeply to our Kaddish Baruch Hu, what's the answer for us today? Perhaps the answer is as follows. I can't I can't feel it But I could chase after the feeling. I could be rodeikha. I could be running after God in my life. And I'll tell you the truth: everywhere I go, I meet people that are running after our Kaddish Baruch Hu in their lives. Justice Tasharis, I'm sitting with the madrichim and the madrichot And I'm asking them What are the challenges that you've been facing? What are the challenges that you're facing? So, as always, as we tend to do They start telling me 95 percent of the kids are amazing, but five percent are just so angry about their Judaism. And we spend so much time on these five percent, and we shouldn't be spending time on these five percent. We know we have to give equally, but we're spending so much time on these five percent.

18:54 And I said you're wrong. These five percent—they're probably chasing God more than anybody. You have to know something about these five percent. On the outside, they appear angry. They'll say the angriest things. They'll ask you the angriest questions. They're so passionate about their Judaism. They're angry, but they're passionate. They're chasing after God because they refuse to accept a Judaism like the one that they have. And it sounds like this: I'll tell you the things they say. Why should I just say the words of the seder? I don't know what they mean, and I don't feel anything. However, you can hear the anger, or you could listen deeply to the passion that they have. They're not willing to daven if it means just saying the words. They want to connect. Why should I keep Shabbos? I'm just so bored. I'm just sitting there doing nothing. Why is that meaningful? Rabbi said, "You could hear the anger, or you could choose to hear a Jew that's saying" 'I want deeply to connect to Shabbos.' Many years ago, a boy came to the Bais Yerach And on day one, he said to me

20:00 Revi, I'm very interested in learning anything but Gemara. I'm not learning Gemara. I'm not learning Gemara. I said to him, 'What did you think you were coming to? This is a yeshiva that has two stars a day.' He said, 'I know, but I heard that it's a good yeshiva for me anyway. But I'm not learning Gemara.' I said to him, 'You must really learn. You must really love Gemara.' He said, 'Rebbe, I hate Gemara.' I said, 'I can't. I'm just astounded by how much you love Gemara.' He said, 'I hate Gemara with every fiber of my being. It's the stupidest thing.' I said, 'I'm like blown away by how much love you have for Gemara.' He said, 'What are you talking about?' I said, "When you really hate something as much as you do. You walk away." But when you come to yeshiva, and you say anything but Gemara You don't nothing it. Hate is the flip side of love.

20:49 They're chasing God. They just don't have the language to know that they're chasing God. And how many of us are like me? How many of us sit? Maybe we don't ask the question out loud. Maybe we're embarrassed to ask the question out loud. But how many of us are sitting on the floor right now and saying I don't get it? I don't get it. The shefter cries by Avdallah. The shefter cries by Avdallah. Do we cry by Avdallah? We run to our phones after Avdallah. The shefter can't stand that Shabbos is leaving. It's good to know that the shefter exists. But for me I could feel something like that. I don't. But I want to. And it could be that in my life, in 20 years from now, 30 years from now, Bei Zeh Hashem, I'll still be speaking here at NCSLICOLO, although it'll be a yuntz then.

21:45 But it could very well be that I'll be giving the same exact shuus. I push it, feel nothing But I want to. There's a story with Refael that there was a bachur who came to interview and Shayaushu for a place in the yeshiva. And Rofrighfeld asked them, "Do you want to learn?" And he said, "No." I have no interest in learning. But I want to want. There are two types of want to in this world. The first type of want to is a guy who says, 'I don't like.' I want to, but I'm not going to do anything. I'm not ambitious about it. So I'll just stay in my bed and maybe some day I'll say something this summer. Like deep in my heart, I know I want to. And then there are guys that want to, and they're going to do whatever they can. They're ambitious about that inner desire. But you should know that both guys—the guy who stays in his bed and the guy who's ambitious—both of them Equally, they want to.

22:47 We want it in our heart. It's just so hard to access. You know the halacha: you're not allowed to force someone to give a get against their will. Because a get against their will. If you tell a person. Give this get against their will, and they give the get against their will. It's not a good get. And yet, what is the halacha, guys? If they give the get against their will, it's a good get. How could that be? Says the Rambam Because inside of every Jew we want to do the right thing. So even though the guy is saying, I don't want to give this get, and he's handing over the get, and the chayyur that shouldn't be a good get It's a good get because deep inside our heart we want to. And even though we don't want to, and even though we don't feel it, the desire is there underneath. Magid Mezrich explains: When Hakadosh Baruch Hu is in the palace, he's surrounded by his guards, and when he's surrounded by his guards, it's hard to get in to see him.

23:45 You have to know somebody. You have to have protection to get in. But when the king's palace burnt down He's walking in the field, just like everybody else. The shrimp is bigaluser, Abay said. That means that Klal Shbaruchu is accessible. All we have to do is go over to him. He's walking amongst us But it's hard to feel it. Maybe because it's so common. Maybe it's because it's not so hard to get to the king. I want to tell you a story. The story took place 13 years ago. A bachur in yeshiva passed away. Not a bachelor that I knew particularly well, a tragedy nonetheless. And they made a shloishim in the yeshiva. And the older brother came to speak in the yeshiva. I'll never forget this. He was talking about his younger brother and then he started to cry. And he said For the first time in my life.

24:58 The bracha of Tchias Hametz in Eshmaina Esre—it means something to me because now, when I say it I'm yearning to be reunited with my brother. And I can't believe that my entire life I've been saying this bracha And it was just words that came out of my mouth, but I never stopped to think about it. And now, all I'm waiting for is to be reunited with my brother. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes it dulls the pain. Sometimes you could be sitting here and saying, "It's been thousands of years." I don't even know what I'm missing. " But maybe, maybe Just sitting here today and going through the motions, we can access the part of us that says It would be great to have it. Misavel is reflexive. It means that you can access the part of you that does more in the bais hamikdash, as small a part as it might be.

26:06 You're already in a state of simcha because you know you're missing something in your life. It's a very strange gemara. The gemara in Yoma tells us we know that the kruvim sat on top of the arum And the kruvim would face different directions. If we were not behaving as we should, the kruvim faced away from each other. If we were behaving as we should, the kruvim faced each other. And in our peak moments The kruvim could be found in an actual loving embrace. The Torah tells us that when the pagans entered into the Beit Hamikdash and they were destroying the Beit Hamikdash They found the kruvim in loving embrace. And they took the Kruvim out And they showed the world. They marched through the streets, saying, "You see" The Jews are idolatrous. Look at them. We found their Kruvim in loving embrace. What's the meaning of this Gemara?

27:16 How can it be that in our moment of destruction, the Kruvim were expressing that we were at our peak? There are many answers to this question. I want to share with you one. Couples fight. It's normal and natural. One time, a boy in yeshiva Whose parents had gotten divorced a year earlier And when he came to yeshiva, he started talking to me about it. Said, "It's been a really hard year for me because my parents got divorced." I said, "Did you see it coming?" He said, "No. My parents had the perfect relationship. They never fought." I said, "That's your first clue." Couples that love each other fight. But you have to learn to listen to the words of the fight. Because if you listen to the words What are they really saying? Every fight is just a statement of "I love you so much. How could you do this to me?"

28:31 When a wife feels like her husband doesn't pay attention to her because he's constantly involved in work And she says, "I need your attention" What is she saying? She's saying, "I love you so much. Where are you?" When a husband says, "I feel like you're constantly on the phone with your friends, and I just want to hang out with you." Even though it could be a fight, and even though they might not be speaking as nicely as they should be speaking to each other, really underneath, what are they saying? They're saying, 'I love you so much. The thing I want to do most is spend time with you.' The tragedy is when couples don't learn to listen to the inner message that's in every single fight. Sometimes divorce is so painful. Because you see two people that they just kept smashing into each other because they love each other so much, and even after the divorce, they don't know how to stop smashing into each other.

29:30 Because be'etsim, the love is there Even in the most tragic of circumstances. Rebbe in the neighborhood, I used to go to his shul and he gave amazing shalom bayis shul, so I used to go to his shul. So he said If a couple is going to get divorced They have to go to therapy to learn to communicate for the sake of the children. And if they can get to that level of communication, at that point they could probably stay married. But for some couples, it's just not true because they love each other so much, but they're so bad at communication that their minds just smash up against each other. I'd like to suggest that in our moments of what appeared to be divorce with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, where he slammed the door and said, "I'm leaving" I'd like to suggest that in the inner Essence of that moment There was so much love between our Kadosh Baruch Hu and Klal Yisroel.

30:26 We didn't want it to be that way And the truth is that our Kadosh Baruch Hu didn't want it to be that way. Maybe we could feel something if we tap into the love that we know our Kadosh Baruch Hu has. Rishon Mekabach told the story. Was originally an Italian love poem. And he said it applies to us on Tisha B'av. And it's the story of a couple that got into a fight And the husband says, and the wife says, "That's it. I'm leaving. I'm going back to my mother. I can't take it anymore. I need a break." And the husband says You're right. Let's take a break. And I've always wanted to travel the world. So I'm going to take these moments that we're going to be separated from each other and I'm going to travel all over. Don't worry, I'll send you postcards.

31:31 And so she leaves and goes back to her mother. And you know how mother-in-laws can be. I told you never to have married him; he's such a bum. And she goes to her room, her old room, and she's sitting in her old room, and she's staying there for a week, two weeks, and after two weeks, she gets a postcard in the mail. It's a postcard from Switzerland from her husband, and he sends a picture with beautiful Alps. On the postcard He writes I hope everything's going well. I hope you've settled in by your mother. I'm here in Switzerland. The scenery is beautiful, and he's describing the experiences he has. And then he says I met someone while I was here in Switzerland. And his wife is reading this, and she's shaking. You met someone. We've been separated for two weeks. I didn't know you were meeting other people. We were just taking a break from each other.

32:24 And she's crying. She's pouring out her heart. She doesn't know what to do with the postcard. She puts it away. Two weeks later, she gets another postcard. This time from France. I'm in France. The food in France is amazing. I saw the Eiffel Tower. I went to the Louvre. I'm seeing so many amazing things in France. And I met someone. He met someone else. We've been separated for a month. He met a girl in Switzerland. He met a girl in France. Who is this guy? And has he forgotten about me? Two weeks later, again This time he's in Belgium. Two weeks later, he's in Russia. And finally, she decides I can't stay by my parents anymore. Her mother is hocking her a China the entire time. Just divorce this guy. Look at him. He's meeting girls all over the world. He clearly has no interest in you.

33:12 And she can't take it by her mother anymore. So she decides to go home. The home that she hasn't been in for a couple of months already And she goes to open the door. She pulls out her key, and as she puts her key in, the door opens. It was unlocked. She's nervous. Was my home ransacked? Was it broken into? But no, it appears that everything's in order. But she's still nervous. Maybe there are intruders in the house right now. So she starts tiptoeing through the house. And she sees that in her husband's study, the light is on. She peeks into her husband's study. And lo and behold, who's sitting there? Her husband. This doesn't make any sense because she just literally got a postcard that he was halfway around the world. How did he get here? When did he get here? So she walks into the room. She goes, "What are you doing here?" And then she notices On the desk Is a pile of postcards, each one from a different place in the world.

34:12 And all of them are filled out. Describing the experiences he had The girls that he met and she said to him Why would you lie to me? You are now broken up with us Thinking that you were with all these other people? Why would you lie to me? And the husband breaks down crying, and he says, "I never wanted you to leave, but you were so angry at me." You really said that you needed a break, and I didn't need a break. I didn't want a break. I wanted to stay together, but I saw that's what you needed. So I said I'm going to give you the break And I'll really give you a break. I'll let you know what it feels like when we're actually separated from each other. But you should know I've been here the entire time. I never left. Where else could I possibly be but with you?

35:12 It's true that the brick and mortar of the Beis Hamikdash is destroyed. It's true that we're missing something so precious But Rabbi Sa, if you think that a Kadosh Baruch Hu has left, you're sadly mistaken. Maybe that's why it's so hard to mourn, because inside of ourselves we know He's still there. We know that it's not possible that the Rebbeim Shalom left us. And even though you could look at the world today and say, 'What do we represent already? We're the tiniest little fragment of the world.' Billions of Muslims, billions of Christians. What do we represent, really? And even though you could think that there's so many terrible tsars have come upon us, Lo Alena, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is disinterested. You should know that for generations, that's what the Christians said about the Jews. Do you really still think you're the chosen nation? How could it be?

35:59 In the Holocaust, you thought you were the chosen nation as you were being led to the gas chambers. You're the chosen nation. And the answer is. We're sitting here in Gush, and we're saying to Hashem Shomaravu, "How could you be with all of those other nations?" Why would you leave us? Because we had a fight? All couples fight. And the Rebbeinu Sholom's answer to us is "I never left. I never left. But you had to see what it's like to live without me. One of the reasons the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed was Shlo, Berchu Atayr Tchilu. We didn't make a Berchus Atayr. We didn't make a berachas haTorah. We lost the base of mikdash. It's because if you don't make a bracha on the Torah, you're saying "I'll learn it. It's an intellectual pursuit." But where is God? Where is God? The truth of the matter is that we're in the final moments before Mashiach comes And the truth of the matter is that Jews are returning.

37:12 I want to tell you the single most powerful moment of my summer. The single most powerful moment of my summer was when I had the opportunity to be with T. J. Busfor on a Friday night. We're sitting in the Nativarie porch overlooking the Kotel. Giving a shmooz about sacrifice. Whatever I said, it doesn't matter. Then afterwards, one of the magidchot An amazing magidchot from Cleveland She comes over with a girl from Cleveland. And she says Rav, this girl would like to ask you a question. Do you have time to speak with her? Now, I wanted to go down to the Kotel to daven Kabbalah Shabbos. You guys were there that Shabbos. I wanted to go down to the Kotel. But if somebody asks you to speak. You don't say maybe later Like Avraham Avinu with his guests. Even though he was in the middle of davening for a Kodesh Baruch Hu, he had the opportunity to serve Jews.

38:21 He put aside the davening for a couple of minutes. I said, "Of course." I sat down with this girl and her madricha. And the girl has a very anxious look on her face. And she says to me I just started keeping Shabbos. And in my family we don't keep Shabbos. And I'm really nervous. What's going to be when I go back to Cleveland? What if my parents aren't supportive? What if my parents say, "None of this crazy Orthodox nonsense. You can't keep Shabbos." What do I do then? The tears are rolling down her face. And I started crying with her. But the tears were two very different tears. Her tears were tears of anxiety. What's going to be with my Shabbos? And my tears were, how come I don't feel like this girl feels? I'm so inspired by these public school kids that give up so much to come closer to Hashem, and I'm so spoiled that I get to live in Eretz Yisrael and spend time with you in NCSY Kollel.

39:36 That I get to learn. I'm so blessed And because I'm so blessed. I don't feel it the way this girl feels it And I wish I had even a tenth of the passion that she has. And I don't know what's going to be. She said to me, "I don't know if I'm gonna have the strength to do it" And I don't know if she would. Madreka was holding her hand and she was saying We'll do it together. We live right down the block from each other. You come to my house all the time. We are so blessed. I have people in Kallah Yisrael like this girl. They say a ma'isah about Reb Moshe Shapiro. That when Reb Moshe Shapiro was sitting in his sukkah once, a hal tshuva came to him. He said, 'Rebbe, I feel like I contribute nothing. I don't know how to learn.'

40:37 I'm learning how to daven, but I still fumble over the words. What am I contributing to Kallah Yisrael? And Ramiya Shapiro Stay here with me. And there was a Simcha Pesach Shavuot in Ramiya Shapiro's house. In the sukkah. And many, many chassidic people came—rabbanim Wealthy people, Rashi Yeshiva—they all came to be by Ramiya Shapiro. And Ramiya Shapiro was giving a shmuuza, and he said, "What will Mashiach say to each one of you when Mashiach comes?" And he looked at the Rosh Yeshiva And he said, 'Rosh Hashiva, when Mashiach comes, he's going to say thank you for teaching my talmidim Torah.' My children, you made them your talmidim. And he looked at an Aszon, somebody who works very hard for Chol Yisrael, and he said "Mashiach is going to thank you for your chesed." And he looked at a Shul rabbi and he said, "Mashiach is going to thank you for putting up with my children."

41:36 Sometimes Shuls can be difficult But nevertheless, you are a community leader. And then he looked at this hal tshuva and he said to him When Mashiach comes He's going to say thank you. Because it was you that brought me. Because the power of tshuva Real tshuva comes from something missing in my life. I'm missing that Ava Azah Kerisayish. I wish I was in love, and I'm going to do whatever I need to do to get back in love. That's the kaiach that brings Mashiach. I'd like to suggest going back to our original Gemara, the original Yerushalmi. This Bedouin Arab, I have no idea how he spoke the language of the shore. But look at the behavior of the Jew. The Bedouin Arab says, "Stop" Mashiach! Stop! Your Beis Hanikrah was destroyed. Start plowing because Mashiach was just born. What brought Mashiach? What brought Mashiach was the moment.

42:41 That Jew stopped playing. I don't know what the Jew experienced in that moment. The Gemara doesn't say. But maybe Maybe we could suggest that in that one moment, his whole life came crashing down. Because he thought it's not really going to happen. It can't really be that the Beis Hamikdash is going to be destroyed. And in one moment, he dropped everything. That's what an ox represents. An ox represents the work that we do in our life. He dropped everything. And the brokenness that he felt in that one moment, a moment later, you can continue plowing because Mashiach was born. Mashiach is born from the yearning that we had. Yirakzom ne'avinu shabash amayim. May be Hashem's will. But this is our last pishvav. May be Hashem's will. Like the Maral says, the yearning that we feel today will give birth to Mashiach. And even though right now it seems that Mashiach is still not yet come, it could very well be that in a couple of hours from now At the kuzitz of the world, when we're sitting at the Maqlah Chorban And you look up and you see that mosque with that golden dome.

43:58 If you'll think to yourself for a moment This is not the way it's supposed to be. If for one moment you can yearn, if for one moment you can say it's broken. And I don't want to feel this way anymore. Maybe Mashiach will come to the kuznets of the world. Maybe Mashiach will come to all those Jews gathered together. Of different shapes and different sizes, different stripes, and it doesn't matter what hats or what yarmulkes or a lack thereof. Maybe Mashiach will come because he'll see how badly we want him. Maybe we'll open that door and see that a kadosh Baruch Hu was there the entire time, writing postcards to us, saying, "I never left." We should be zeirech to greet Mashiach Teitel from the Yad Marnish.