Tisha B'Av: Words, Pain, Hope.

3:02 To bring out what's going on deep inside of them And that in turn gives hope to a person. That's what the therapeutic process is really all about. And then Dr. Flashman connected it to Tishbav. I thought this idea was so profound that as soon as he said it I knew I was going to speak about this morning. He said, "Pain is echa." Words are kinos And hope is the ultimate nechama that comes from tishav. The ultimate comfort, the ultimate consolation. What does that mean? Let's start with pain. Last night, I received a message on WhatsApp. From a talmud who, like many of us Is struggling with the idea of teshuvah. His WhatsApp begins as so many WhatsApps that I've received do, Rebbe, I feel disconnected. I don't feel anything. The idea of Mashiach has become foreign to me. It almost seems to me like Judaism has its own version of Santa Claus.

4:26 It's cute when you're young. It's a nice story. But as you get older, you sort of realize it sounds like a fairy tale, like Mashiach is some jolly man in the sky who will one day come down and save you. And Rebbe, even though I'm almost thirty years old, I'm married. I just feel so disconnected. What can I do to feel disconnected? What can I do to feel more connected? And once again, like every tishabav, I find myself stuck with very little to say to this person because I myself feel disconnected. I started to think that perhaps this is the pain of tishabav. I'll explain what I mean. When a young man comes. To sit down to talk. There are three ways that he presents what he wants to talk about. The first way is called overt. He'll tell you exactly what's on his mind. Rabbi, I'm having a problem dealing with my parents. I need help.

5:47 That's overt. The second way is covert. A Talmud will come and he'll say. Rebbe, what do Chazal say about the punishment for this particular avera? Any decent Rebbe knows that the Talmud is not asking a halachic shaila. It's a covert way, a hidden way of saying, 'Rebbe, I am involved in this avera, and I don't know what to do.' And it's the job of the Rebbe to help the Talmud deal with that particular situation. But then there is something called consequential. Consequential means the Talmud is not coming in and telling you what his problem is, neither in an overt way nor in a covert way. But there is something in their life. There is a consequence going on in their life. And they don't know how to manage it. We are sitting here today on Tishavah once again, Nach Tishavah. And there is a consequence.

6:51 And the consequence is, Rebbe, what do you want from me? What does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want from me today? I read an article that less than half of Israel is fasting today. There are so many people living here in Eretz Yisrael and atzeynu Hakadosh who are just so disconnected, not through any fault of their own. If they had grown up with the community that we have. I'm sure they would be fasting, probably with much greater emotionality than I am. But they didn't. So they don't have any reason to fast. There's a consequence going on today. The consequence is, Rebbe I'm being told that the emotion I have to have is sitting in Bais Medrash and saying Kinos and crying. And it's the most foreign thing in the world to me, and if I cry. Not only would it be fake, it would be arrogant. I'm somebody that appreciates this loss.

8:01 And especially when you put it in a historical context. In our lives What have we lost? In the communities that we've grown up in Most of us. Ninety-nine percent of us We own beautiful homes. We food to eat. Baruch Hashem, for the most part, people are healthy. Access to modern medicine To all the amenities that the modern world has We go on vacations. We come to Eretz Yisrael for the summer to sit and learn Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Torah. In the history of Klal Yisrael When did we have a generation with such affluence? With such freedom to worship, a hundred years ago, two hundred years ago, three hundred years ago, a Holocaust, Crusades, pogroms. I understand that even if they didn't have Beis Hamikdash But they yearned for a time that we have today. They yearned for a time where they could come to Eretz Yisrael, where they could sit and learn Torah with freedom.

9:17 I read a ma'isah that there was a Hasidish rebel. That received a bottle of wine from Eretz Yisrael. One of the chassidim had traveled to Eretz Yisrael, and he came back with a bottle of wine. And the rebbe called around his family And he said, "There's two tannugim here. There's two pleasures that we're about to have." One is the obvious one. We're about to drink the wine of Eretz Yisrael. But there's another less obvious tainud. As I uncork this bottle of wine, there's going to be a little bit of air. In the top of the bottle of wine And if we get very close to the bottle as I pull out the cork, for a moment For a moment We're going to be able to breathe in a virah to Eretz Yisrael. We're going to be able to breathe in the air of Eretz Yisrael.

10:09 It was a tainut for him. It was a pleasure for him. It was something that in his life he knew he wasn't going to be able to have. I came the first time to Israel when I was seven years old. How many guys come to Israel for their bar mitzvah? How many guys tell me, Rebbe, do I keep one day or two days because my family comes for shalosh regalim? How many people tell me, Rebbe, do I keep one day or two days because my family owns an apartment? We have it all. So what are we missing? Sh'tikol b'shamikdash b'seder. Most of us. Most of us probably don't walk to the kotel and think to ourselves One day soon I'll see Kohanim sacrificing. It's probably not what we're thinking. Many yeshivas have the minhag that on the first day when the boys come to Israel, they take them to the Kotel.

11:11 Almost always You have a couple of chavrusas. Almost always, you have a couple of chaverim that come and say, "Rebbe" I was hoping to feel something But I feel so little. So maybe this year, in trying to experience the pain of tishabav, Maybe this year Let's recalibrate. Instead of trying to feel the pain of something that we're not going to feel Let's feel the pain of the disconnection. And perhaps that's what the word "echah" really means. "Echah" literally means "how" But the Medrash says that 'echah' is actually a conjunction of two words, Aleph Yud, which means where And Chaf Hey Ko Which is a remez to the Shchina in this world The indwelling of Hakadosh Baruch Hu's presence in this world. When we say Echah, the question really is where God is?

12:46 That's a question that I think many of us In an honest moment We recognize that we're asking ourselves very often in our lives. You could blame so many different things, and it's not kedai for us to spend time trying to figure out where the blame is. It certainly gets us nowhere. And it's become the thing that everybody likes to do. If we can only figure out how to get rid of technology, if we can only figure out how to get rid of the Eitzaharif. It's a tremendous waste of time. For generations, we've been asking the question "Echah." Well before anybody had smartphones, we were asking the question "Echah. But it's a good question. "Echah" is a good question. Where can we find Kadosh Baruch Hu's presence? When it came to Akedas Yitzchak So Avram Yitzchak. Yisshmael and Eliezer are walking towards the Akedah. Vayar es hamakom merachok, and they see that mountain makam a miktosh from a distance.

14:08 Shvulachem poem achamor vaaniva anar nachad kov. Avram Avinu says to Eliezer and Yisshmael, "You stay here with the donkey." The child and I, referring to Yitzchak. We will continue on to that makom, to that place, to the makom of my mikdash. Many years ago, I heard the most incredible interpretation of these pesukim. Hamakom is one of the names of our Kadosh Baruch Hu. Hamakom is a name that we use to provide nechama. Consolation When a person loses a loved one, we say Hamakom yinachem eshan. May God console you. May you be consoled in hamakom, in that place. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is a place where a person goes when things are difficult. But sometimes in life Hamakom feels rachok. We feel so far from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. We feel so far from Hakadosh Baruch Hu's warm embrace in our lives. We don't relate to Yiddishkeit in that way.

15:18 All the articles being written about different crises in Yiddishkeit. How many talmidim have told me, Rebbe, I'd like to keep Shabbos. I don't want to be on my phone on Shabbos, but Shabbos is so boring. What do you want from me? We feel so distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu that the notion of Hakadosh Baruch Hu providing us with a place in our lives With a mission, with a destiny—it's so achok. And this was the existential crisis that Avram Yitzchak Yisrael and Eliezer find themselves on their way to sacrifice Yitzchak in that place, the Maqam HaMikdash. They saw that Maqom, but Rachok. It was so far to understand Hakadosh Baruch Hu's plan to feel held for Eliezer and Yisrael. It was not a place that they could go. It wasn't their destiny. When they felt far from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, they didn't have the capacity to embrace Hakadosh Baruch Hu in that moment.

16:30 It's a catch twenty-two. When we feel far from God, it's exactly when we need God the most. We have to lean into the discomfort. If you feel far from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that's the time to turn towards Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Abraham Avinu says to Yisshmuel and to Yehazar, Shmuel haChem Pela haChamor You who value the chumrius of this world, the chamor, the donkey, the physicality of this world You who value that approach to life, an existence-oriented life, have your place. You'll never be able to access Hakadosh Baruch Hu in pain as long as you have that worldview. But Aniva Hanar But I, a Jew. And the childlike innocence, the child The Yitzchak Avinu, the child in all of us The one that even though we may not understand everything, a child has a deep sense of faith in Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Ani the Hanan the Chavka, we can go find that chafe.

17:29 We can find spirituality in the world. So Eicha is a question for us. And if you feel disconnected, if you are one of those chevr that's walking around today going I just don't know. I don't know what you want. Maybe tonight by the kums, it's by the kotel. Maybe I'll feel something. If you are one of us Eicha is a good question. Where can I find Kadosh Baruch Hu's dwelling in this world? Eicha, where can I find that Kadosh Baruch Hu's dwelling in this world? A Jew leans into the discomfort. He takes his innocence, his purity, that childlike quality that he has, and he says, "Adaravah v'adarav." If I can't feel Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that's the perfect time to turn towards God. That's pain. And from pain we go to words And words for us are kinos. From the time that I walked from my car to hear seven boys ask me, Rebbe. Should I say kinos today? Should I not say kinos today? If I do say kinos today, how many kinos should I say? Is it better for me to say some kinos with kavana, Rabbi? I try to say kinos. I don't know what it's talking about. It doesn't speak to me.

18:51 What are kinos? The Zayar Hakadosh says that kinos is the same lashon as tikun. Kinos brings rectification into our lives. How? How? A young man is struggling very deeply. I'll change Out of respect to him, I'll change some of the details of the case. But every word I'm about to tell you is true. He's in exceptional pain. Right now, he's in the hospital. He had to be admitted to a hospital. Needless to say His pain is not physical. His pain is psychological. And it got to the point where he presented a danger to himself, and he had to be hospitalized. Beis R' Hashem will get the help that he needs. I've been talking to this boy for a very long time. And it's an amazing thing. We sit down to talk

20:24 And very often when we sit down He just looks at me and he goes, "Rebby, I just don't know. I don't know. I don't know." What don't you know? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know. I can't get up in the morning. I can't do anything with my life. I just don't know. What's going on for you? How can I help you, Rabbi? He doesn't have words to even express what's really going on for him. It's gotten worse over the years. There is a gift that every one of us can give our chaverim, our loved ones. It is the gift of language. Sometimes In order to find our own voice Sometimes we need someone else to get us started. So sometimes the rebbe needs to start them off. What's your relationship like with your parents? What's your relationship like with your friends? Have you trusted people in your life?

21:44 Asking questions that help a person find their own voice That gives them words to say what's really going on. It is an exceptional gift that you can give to somebody. Sometimes even that is too hard for people. Sometimes you literally need to give them a script. You have to say to them, "I want you to fill in the blanks." It makes me feel blank when this person does blank. You literally have to give them a script because they don't even know how to express the simplest concepts of their pain. It's not fake to give someone a script. It's a gift. As long as they make it personal. Many of us struggle with davening and you hear Especially from kids in high school, you hear the same critique of davening over and over again. Am I saying these words for? They're not my words; they're somebody else's words. I am going to sit there three times a day and say these words. I don't even know what they mean, and even when I know what they mean, who cares? It's somebody else's words.

23:02 Great actors take a script. Somebody else's words And they make it their own. Imagine the most talented actors on Broadway Who every single night gets up and reads the same lines over and over again. What makes the show great? They're not reading somebody else's words. They've taken those words and made them their own. And if you listen to the interviews with some of these actors, you know what they'll tell you. I'm always trying out new things. In last night's show, I read it like this, and tonight's show, I'm saying it like this. In this room, we don't say so many kinos. But maybe we should. Maybe we should. Maybe in the ten minutes between this drasha and Rav Gorman Shlitah's drasha Maybe we should take ten minutes and read kinos. Not all of kinos. But maybe we should read them and this time maybe we should try to make it our own.

24:10 Maybe we should take somebody else's words because we don't have words to express the pain that we're in. Maybe we should take somebody else's words for ten minutes And try to make them our own to give ourselves language to express the pain of what we don't feel today. Dr. Palkowitz I'm sure many of you have heard of He's a very famous psychologist who lives in New York. In a great line We know that every year on Pesach we have a mitzvah to leave Mitzrayim to see ourselves as if we're leaving Mitzrayim. So Dr. Pelkowitz has a great line: If you want to leave the Mitzrayim of your life If you want to leave the constrictions, the restrictions, the things that make us feel like it's just not working. You have to be yotzei the mitzvah of magid. You have to tell your story. Every one of us has a story to tell, but in 2018, even in Eretz Yisrael, even surrounded by gedolei Torah like we have here on NCSY Koyla It's very difficult.

25:24 Madrichim coming over to me and going, Rebbe, what should I tell these guys? What words can I tell them to inspire them? The words you can tell somebody They may not be your own. They may be the words of Chazal, they may be the words of Kinos. But they have to become our own words. It's not enough just to read somebody else's words; they have to become our words. And when you are in pain And when you have words Is when there is hope. Tishah B'av always finds itself as part of a process. We start off Shabbos before Tishah B'av, the Shabbos Chazon. And we end with Shabbos Nachamu, the Shabbos of consolament. On Shabbos Chazon, we have a vision of what we want the world to look like, and on Shabbos Nachamu we feel consoled that although we have not yet achieved that vision, at least we're in process. And Tishabov is the axis point that moves us from point A to point B.

26:40 Tishabov is what gives us the hope that we can go into Shabbos Nachum. How does it do that? Chaver, the halacha always tells us about the essence of the day. If you want to understand something, look at the halachas of that day. If you want to understand Shabbos, look at the halachas of Shabbos. If you want to understand Yom Kippur, look at the halachas of Yom Kippur, and if you want to understand Tishah B'av, look at the halachas of Tishah B'av. Today is a very strange Tishah B'av because it's not Tishah B'av; it's the day after Tishah B'av. Usually, on today, in NCSY Kollel, we'd have morning seder. Be getting ready for our fleishik's lunch Heading into Yom NCSY. The truth of the matter is. That in most years, The aveilus diminishes. In the peak experience of churban Really the base of mikdash was destroyed.

27:41 Midday Tishav, it started to be burned. And it reached its peak today. Usually, the halachas of Tishav tell us that we don't fast in the most destructive time. There was a minig that some people would fast Tishah B'av; they would fast two days. But we don't. Why not? For Jews, there is a concept of hope. And hope is not after the destruction ends. For Jews, the concept of hope begins with destruction. Where everybody else sees Yish, where everybody else sees the world being destroyed around us. A Jew looks at destruction. And says There's a purpose. There's a reason. There's a tachlis. There's hope. What is the hope for us? I read a ma'aseh. The Bava Cherevi was brought to a camp. Gan Israel. One of the Lubavitcher camps, And he was taken on a tour. The camp was beautiful. All the amenities were up to date.

29:09 Everything was in good working order. As they were bringing the Lubavitcher Rebbe around They passed a storage room whose door was closed. And the Lubavitcher Rebbe asked to see inside the storage room. The person who was giving them a tour. The Rebbe wants to see the storage room. He opens up the storage room and comes on. What did the storage room look like? Chairs and tables are strewn about, with graffiti all over the world and all over the walls. So the tour guide said to the Rebbe Even though the camp is so beautiful Even though we have so many beautiful things in the camp, we have our Zeich leChurban. We have our remembrance of the destruction of the Mikdash. One room. That's posh at a mess. Everybody has their zeicher lechurban room in their house. The Rebbe corrected him. He said, "Don't say zeicher lechurban."

30:08 Sey zeicher lemikdash. Don't say zeicher lechurban. Sey zeicher lemikdash. It's not a remembrance of the destruction. It's a remembrance of the Bei'samikdash. The language that we speak, the words that we use They need to be words that express the pain of disconnection that every one of us is experiencing. But they also need to be words not of destruction, not of 'I'm such a mess, I push it, can't, I can't connect to this day at all. The words have to be words of hope. They have to sound like this. It's from my place of disconnection. Binyan Beis Hamikdash will occur. Shlomoh Amelach, when he built the Beis Hamikdash, he built an underground chamber. And twenty some odd years before the Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, before the first Beis Hamikdash was destroyed The luchos were taken with the arum. And they were brought to the secret underground chamber that was never found.

31:14 And it was hidden away. And when they came to destroy the Beis Hamikdash, they plundered and they took many of our sacred vessels. But the Aaron they didn't take because it was hidden in that underground chamber. And for the seventy years in between the first base of Mikdash and the second base of Mikdash The Aaron remained there. And in the second base of Mikdash, the Aaron was not brought up to the Kodesh Hakodashim, but it remained in that secret underground chamber. And when the second base of Mikdash was destroyed The Aaron remained in that underground chamber where it remains to this very day, hidden away. Why would Shlomo Hamelach have built the base of Mikdash in such a way? That he's hiding away the aram. If you know that your house is going to be destroyed, why bother building it at all? What's going on?

32:04 Imagine somebody who's building a house A beautiful house. They're pouring in so much work. Klal Yisrael is investing all of their wealth into building this base of mikdash. And Shlomo HaMelech says, "Chevr, this is not going to last." I would imagine, as a Jew living in that time, that I would have been deeply pained by this. I was zocheh to build a house here in Eretz Yisrael. Thirteen years ago, we built a house. A tremendous credit to my friend who came to America And he said, "I'm buying a house on this new block in Israel in Ramat Ben Shemesh." You should buy. This friend always had a way of making me feel very guilty that I was living in America. I was coming to visit my parents for Pesach. I'll buy a house in Israel. At the very least, it's a good investment. Real estate in Ramat Echamesh isn't going down.

33:06 I'll sell it so I can buy a house in the Five Towns. That's my Mish. Building a house in Israel, building a house anywhere, but building a house in Israel. I love every single Jew. But sometimes some Jews are harder to deal with than others. It wasn't a simple thing to build a house. It'll be ready in a year. Three years later, we moved in. We bought a certain kitchen. When we moved into the house, it was a totally different kitchen. Imagine if I told my wife when she's in the middle of building this house and she's schvitzing over all the details of all the plans And she's going from one place to the next, and one person is telling her one thing and another person is telling her another thing. First they told it's going to cost this amount, then they told it's going to cost that amount.

34:00 Eliza Really, this is a very important thing. I want you to know that in twenty years from now this house is going to be destroyed. What would she have said? So why are we bothering? I can't imagine the feeling that Klal Yisrael had when Shlomo HaMelech said Build an underground chamber because this will not last. But the truth of the matter is that it's exactly the opposite. Shlomo HaMelech was giving Klal Yisrael the most unbelievable expression of hope. This is what Shlomo HaMelech was saying to them: Nothing in this world lasts. In oylam hazeh, even the most ruhani things, especially the most ruhani things They're not designed to last. Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is Nesaved Diri B'Tachdinim. Hakadosh Baruch Hu desires a dwelling place in the world down below. And the world down below is a world of chaos and destruction. And even this base hamikdash it will not last.

35:07 But you should know that no matter how much they destroy the base Hamikdash and they take away the aron and they take away the mizbeach and they take away the paroiches. One thing they can never take from us. They can never take from us the aron. It's hidden away. It's deep inside the recesses of our soul. And they may destroy a building, but they cannot take away the purity, the innocence of klal yisroel. That can never be destroyed. Or to say it a little differently. They can take away the outer cover. But deep, buried deep inside is the arum. They can never truly destroy the beis hamikdash. It's not shyek to truly destroy it. Being by a shlishi is not a third beis hamikdash, and this time it will last. It's the expression of what was never destroyed to begin with. The first two batei mikdash we knew were going to be destroyed because it's part of a process.

36:08 But when Shlomo HaMelech said, "Build an underground chamber" Klal Yisrael breathed a sigh of relief Because they understood the vicissitudes of history. They understood the Beis Hamikdash would be destroyed. But they understood that the essence can never be destroyed, that the soul can never be destroyed. Binyan Bayis Shlishi is just another iteration of what always was. You see, the problem for our door. As it was, ledor yedoyrets. I don't mean to say that our door is worse. The problem is that we think I can't come back. I've already broken it. It's too late. I can't come back. A Talmud once taking a walk with him And he burst out crying. I said, "What's going on?" He said, "Rebbe, I know that I wasn't from high school" But I want you to know that in my heart I always wanted to be a rebbe. Sometimes there are people like that—people that aren't necessarily keeping Shabbos, aren't necessarily keeping kosher.

37:26 But in their heart, they know what they're doing is wrong, and they want to be a rebbe. And here was this boy who had been in yeshiva for a couple of months. And he says, "Rebbe" Now I know that I destroyed my vision of being a Rebbe. I went too far. It's one thing to do certain averes, but I've done the worst averes. Now I can never come back. Rebbe, it's not worth it for me to become from because if I become from, I want to be a Rebbe But I know that I can never be a Rebbe now because I know my Rebbeim never messed up that badly. Today, Baruch Hashem is. Sitting and learning in a very choshev yeshiva And his intention is to become a rebbe. His intention is to become a marbets Torah in Klal Yisro. His journey was about understanding that no matter how far away a person has gone It's not the pshat that now I'll never be able to become a rebbe. It's just the opposite.

38:26 From that separation, it'll make you the best rebbe. It'll make you the one that's able to relate to even the lowest members of Klal Yisrael, those that are so struggling with the different avers that they've done. It's always like that. The ones that maybe gave you a little bit of a hard time when they were younger, you see when they get older. Those guys are the ones that really become the biggest Talmidei Chachamim And they could relate to some of the Tell me them that are struggling the most. I told this story once in Kolle, but I'll say it again. Last summer, a boy came to Kolle. Wasn't from a modern Orthodox yeshiva. He was from a yeshivish place. And he was going into twelfth grade. And he said, "Rabbi, I wasn't so into it until now, but at NCSY Kolle, I really got into it."

39:28 And I really, really, really want to go to the top twelfth grade shir. But this Rebbe He is just so big; he's like this huge Talmud Chacham. And I don't know if he's going to understand my struggles. I told the young man You should go with confidence to this twelfth grade shir, to the top twelfth grade shir. He said. How do you know that Rebbe is going to get me? I said because I was with that Rebbe when he got thrown out in tenth grade of high school And then when he got thrown out again from his yeshiva in Israel And he ended up in Nevei, and he ended up in Mir. And then he ended up in another yeshiva. I don't want to give too many details. And you know how he became the twelfth grade Rebbe of this yeshiva because he married the Rosh Yeshiva's daughter.

40:22 But I was with him when he was a doofus ninth grader. Running around the school like a mishugan, or doing some of the craziest things and some of the worst avers that are out there. Go with confidence to this shir. Trust me, this rebbe will understand your struggles. Don't look at yourself and say what you haven't been. What you haven't been is exactly what's going to make you who you are. Take solace, take hope in the fact that right now, yes, right now, I'm not yet the person that I want to be. But it's those struggles. And especially for our dar that's struggling with so many things that are so nafshi, that are so close to our soul, whether it's shmirah say nayim or in yonim of that expanded issue Those are things that are so close to the essence. The reason we struggle with them is because we're the ones bringing Mashiach, so we're getting right down to the essence.

41:12 Don't look at that in despair. It's from those averos, it's from that separation that will come Mashiach. Titus When he came into the base of Mikdash, he stabbed the paroiches. And from the paroiches it started flowing blood. And Titus thought that he killed Hakadosh Baruch Hu. What does this Chazal mean? You think you killed Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Is that shyaf to kill Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Titus was no fool. He knew that Hakadosh Baruch Hu was not of flesh and blood. He knew that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wasn't the paroiches. So what did he think? The paroiches separated the kodesh hakadoshim from everything else in the base of Megiddo. The kodesh hakadoshim was the soul. The paroiches was the separation. We live with this separation. Titus stabs that separation. He thinks the separation is the place that you go to kill Klau Yisroel. You want to kill the Abishur. You want to remove Hakadosh Baruch Hu from your life. Focus on the separation. Focus on the averes.

42:21 Tito said, I wiped out Hakadosh Baruch Hu from this world because I stabbed that separation. His point of pain was the separation, the paroiches. But really, Tito misunderstood. The fact that the paroiches spilled blood tells us that the separation is what makes us come alive. It's the pain, it's the friction of separation that makes it great. We play a lot of sports here in NCSY. Shooting around is great. Layup lines are great. There's nothing like the game. The game is awesome because there's a defense. The game is awesome because I can score despite the fact that there are five guys on the floor trying to stop me. It's hot at 3:30 in the afternoon in Beit Meir. And I'm playing against some of the best guys. And even if you walked away and you lost that game by just a couple of points, there's something very gishmak about having gone up against the separation and hanging in there.

43:34 The separation is what makes us come alive. Titus didn't understand. It's from our separation that a Jew gains his strength. That's where he says You think I'm separated? You can't keep me out. That's where a Jew becomes alive. Rabbi Nachman tells a marshal What's the greatest shevach v'hoda that you can give to a doctor? If you go to a doctor and you knock on his door in the middle of the night and you say to the doctor, 'My loved one is sick' And there's no one in the world that can cure my loved one except for you. You're the only doctor out there that has the expertise to be able to save my son, to save my brother, to save my daughter, to save my sister. Please, I'm begging you. Treat him, treat her And the doctor looks at you and he says, "I'm sorry" I'm already full. I have no time.

44:28 I wish that I could help you But I'm booked. Please find another doctor. The doctor closes the door. What's the greatest shavah v'huda that you can give to that doctor? Don't stop knocking. Kick down the door. The doctor gets the most kavod. When you say there is no one else but you Hakadosh Baruch Hu took away our Beis Hamikdash twice. And yes, it's been two thousand years since we haven't had a Beis Hamikdash. The door has been firmly slammed in our face. So we could We could walk away. Find another doctor Find another outlet for our spirituality. Some Jews go travel in India. Some Jews focus their spirituality and gashmius things. But we love it when Hakadosh Baruch Hu slams the door in our face Because that's the greatest opportunity to say, even though I feel so disconnected And it's so hard for me even to find the words When you slam the door in my face.

45:48 That's the ultimate opportunity to say I continue to choose you. Like a couple who have been fighting for so many years Like so many couples today. And at first blush, when you see these couples, you think to yourselves, "why do they even bother? It looks like such a A wreck of a marriage. But when you dig a little deeper, you experience what you know. It's amazing that they keep choosing each other, even amidst all this pain. The love must be exceptionally deep. Hidden away for sure. But if they didn't love each other, why would they be fighting so much? It's the separation that teaches us how much we love each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You'll tell me, Rebbe, but I feel so dull I feel so numb. I don't even know if I want it anymore. That's an amazing question to ask today. That's an echah question.

46:53 But can you find words inside of you to say that the very fact that I'm asking the question means that there's at least a deep part of me that wants to stay committed to this relationship? So in a couple of hours from now We're going to go to the kotel. And we're going to look at basically what was the supporting wall of the Beit Hamikdash, and there is no doubt that the Kotel has tremendous spirituality, and it's a tremendous place of tefillah. And I am not Chassidish on being mezazel in the Kotel But when you look up to your left You are going to see the Makom Hamikdash. However, we cannot be satisfied with table scraps. In a relationship We cannot be satisfied with one wall. In just a couple of hours from now, when you find yourself by the kota And everybody's singing, and you close your eyes, and there's literally hundreds and hundreds of people that are going to join us at the kota I want to ask Just for a couple of moments.

48:14 That you do one thing. Close your eyes and ask yourselves: Isn't there a part of me that wants so much more to connect? Isn't that why I came this summer? I was looking for that relationship, that sama nafshi that we've been speaking about. I was looking for more and am not satisfied. Just saying the words of davening, or just learning the block gemara. I want to look up to my left. In a very short amount of time, I want to see our Beit Hamikdash. Which will no doubt be a place of tefilla for the entire world. But it will be because there is a hakara that Klal Yisrael is the bearer of the one true God in this world. And that will give all of us a sense of clarity and connection. Take a moment in a couple of hours from now and ask yourselves. Am I satisfied with my relationship with Hashem? Is this all there is, or do I want more? And if I want more, can I hold on to hope? You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.