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We're going. What are you? How are you going to have fun? Blackjack. Guys, y'all are excited. Klal Yisrael finds themselves on the precipice of the Yam Suf With the entire Egyptian army chasing after them, they're afraid. Moshe Abenu's response is very striking.
Vayomer Moshe el Aham, Al tirou, Hissyatzvu uru'u es Yishuas Hashem, Asher yase lachem hayom. What is Moshe Rabenu saying? Moshe Rabenu said to the nation, "Do not fear. Stand fast and see the salvation of God that He will do for you on this day." Because you have seen Mitzrayim today, and you will see Mitzrayim no more, forever. Hashem will make a war for you, and you will be quiet. It's an interesting response that Moshe Abinu has. The Egyptian army is coming, and Moshe Abinu tells them, 'Don't fear. Stand fast. Hashem is going to perform a miracle for you. You will not see Mitzrayim ever again. Hashem will make war. You will remain silent.' Vayomer Hashem al Moshe, And now Hashem comes to Moshe and he says, "Matitzakei lei." Why do you cry out to me, Daber el bnei Yisrael vayisum? Tell Klal Yisrael to journey on.
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First of all What is this thing that Moshe Rabbeinu is saying to them? Is Yisdom giving them a pep talk, or is there something deeper going on underneath the surface? Number two, Hashem's, the statement here comes almost out of nowhere. Hashem comes and He says, 'Speak to Klal Yisrael and tell them, "Keep going."' Why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu come now and say that? Why doesn't He come before? Before Moshe Rabbeinu makes this statement, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says nothing. Now that Moshe Rabbeinu has made this statement, Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, 'Keep going.' But also, this is the last question for the night. What in the world is our Kaddish Baruch Hu saying? Let's think about the words, Matitzak Eli. Why do you call out to me, Girls? If we asked ourselves, Let's be frum for a second. The Egyptian army on one side, The Yamzuf on the other.
Wouldn't we all start pulling out our Tehillim? Wouldn't we all start crying out to our Kaddish Baruch Hu? Is that not the right thing to do? The right thing to do when you're in a moment when there's nothing else you can do seems to be to daven to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. A Meisher Abenu is making this statement. We don't really know what he's saying. He's saying a bunch of things. Don't fear. You're never going to see Mitzrayim again. Hashem's going to wage war. What's really going on? Now Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes and he says, "Daber v'nei Yisrael v'Yisroh." Just keep going. Keep going where? Keep going into the Yamsuf. And he says even more than that, "Matitzakei li." Why are you calling out to me? I would think Hakadosh Baruch Hu would say, "Perfect." In a moment of crisis, you call out to your Father in Heaven. Don't worry, I'll split the sea. That's not what Hakadosh Baruch Hu says at all.
So it's a fascinating medrash And the medrash says that everything that Hakadosh Baruch Hu said is actually a response to something that Klal Yisrael said. You need the medrash to teach it to you. So the medrash goes through. On the spot, Medrash Rab. Vayomer Moshe al Am, Al Tiro, His Yatzavu Uruu Es Yeshu As Hashem. Moshe Rabbeinu says, 'Do not be afraid. You will now see. Stand fast. You will now see the salvation of God.' There were four camps. When they were standing at the precipice of the Yam Suf, there were four different camps. Each camp had a sheet of how we should deal with the impending Yam Suf. The first camp said, "There's no point in going on. Let's throw ourselves into the sea and kill ourselves. Better to die drowning in the Yam Suf than to be tortured by the Mitzrayim." So Moshe Abinu heard this group saying "We're miayish. We're giving up hope." And Moshe Abinu said to them, "Al tiro. Do not be afraid." That was Camp Number One. Then Moshe Rabbeinu continues and he says Ki asher Eisam Mitsrayim Hayom lo sossipu l'rosam od ad olam. You're never going to see Mitsrayim again. You saw Mitsrayim today. You will never see Mitsrayim again.
What is this a response to? So there was a second camp, and the second camp said, "Let's surrender to the Mitsrim. Let's go back." Makes sense. We were enslaved for 210 years. We had all these machos. It didn't work. We're here by the Yamzuf. Let's go back to Mitzrayim. So to them, Moshe Rabbeinu says, "You will never see Mitzrayim again." So far, so good. First camp says, "Let's kill ourselves." Second camp says, "Let's surrender." Then there's a third camp that says, 'Let's wage war. What do we have to lose? Let's go up against Mitzrayim and let's do our best. If we're going to go down, let's go down fighting.' To them, what does Moshe Rabbeinu say? Hashem yilachim. God will fight. You don't have to fight. God will fight. And again, at the very, very end, Moshe Rabbeinu says, 'Vaatem tacharishim,' and you will be silent. This is the fourth camp right now. So we had let's Chazre. The first camp said. Let's jump into the Amshaf. Let's kill ourselves. What does Moshe Rabbeinu say? Don't be afraid. The second camp says
Let's wage war. I'm sorry. Second camp says, let's surrender. Moshe Rabbeinu says, we're never going back to Mitzrayim. The third camp says, let's wage war. Hashem milachim, God will fight. And the final camp. What do they say? They say as follows. Time to daven. Let's call out to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Let's daven because there's no way we could win this war. There's no way we should kill ourselves. We can't surrender to Mitzrayim. So let's daven to Hashem. And what's Moshe Rabbeinu's response to them? The atem tacharishon. That's what the Medrash says. You daveners, you from guys over there, be quiet. Wild Medrash, much worse than we've said before. Before we said the pasuk says, 'Matatak Eli, why are you calling out to me?' Moshe Rabbeinu himself is looking at the Jews sitting on the precipice of the Yam Suf, and he's saying to them, 'Stop davening.'
Now, a little bit we can understand. Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes and he tells Moshe Rabbeinu, 'Tell Klal Yisrael to just keep going.' Why does he do that? Because all other options have been knocked out by Moshe Rabbeinu. All four camps, Moshe Rabbeinu says they're wrong. You want to kill yourself? Wrong. You want to surrender to Mitzrayim? Wrong. You want to wage war? Wrong. You want to go sit and say Tehillim? Wrong. Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes and he says, 'Tell them just keep going.' Why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu tell them that? Because they exhausted all the other options. You can imagine what it was like. This is like the most Jewish story in the world if you think about it. It's the most Jewish story in the world. A bunch of Jews have just left Mitzrayim. They're sitting and they're stuck. What do they have? A debate. It's a discussion group. This group got up and they said we should kill ourselves. That was the Jewish mother group.
I'd rather die by the I'm saying, Let's surrender. Let's wage war. We're gonna, we're never gonna let ourselves be taken advantage of, that chevra. And then you had the from ones, Atem tacharishon, be quiet. What's going on in this medrash? I have a core belief. My belief is that everything in Judaism, everything in Yehudis, can be compared to a relationship. Because ultimately, that's what we have. That's what Yiddishkeit is. Yiddishkeit is a relationship with Hashem. We were created to have a relationship with Hashem. So everything that exists in Yiddishkeit, if you put it under the magnifying glass, the lens of a relationship, it'll start to make sense. So I'd like to tell you a story. It's not a true story. It's a made-up story, but it's a story that's common. It's meisim b'chol yom. You have a couple in crisis. A couple in crisis. They love each other very much, but somehow it's not working. There's dysfunction in the marriage.
There are four approaches that this couple will try and take. Each one of them will fail. Let's go through them one at a time. The first approach is the approach of despair. It's not going to work. May as well kill ourselves. It's not going to work. They love each other. They know they love each other, but it's not going to work. What's the problem with this? The problem with this perspective is that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you see that it's not going to work, it's not going to work. If you give up on the relationship, what are we fighting for? So what works is that there's no more fighting. But what doesn't work? The relationship. If the goal is the relationship, when you despair, what happens? There's no more relationship. So that's not a good option. So you go to a second option. What's the second option?
The second option is to lower your expectations. Now that sounds already like better marital advice, right? You have unrealistic expectations of your husband. You have unrealistic expectations of your wife. Lower your expectations. Now already it starts to make a little bit more sense. What's the problem? The problem is that lowering your expectations also doesn't meet the goal, because if your expectation was intimacy Which is the goal of marriage? If the expectation was oneness, if the expectation was relationship. So now what happens when you lower your expectations? Then you've lost the relationship. It doesn't work. It doesn't work. Again, there's something healthy if a person had high expectations. So then, have realistic expectations. There's something to it. But if your expectations were realistic and your goals were intimacy, and now you've lowered your expectations. Then of course it's not going to work. Because now what are you going to be? You're going to be a couple that's living together, but you're not going to be building something, right? So let's go one step lower now. We understand there's no room for despair, and we understand that expectations, if they're already appropriate, should not be lowered.
So then, there's those couples that wage war against each other. Because they love each other so much, they're gonna fight. They're gonna say it's for each other. But what is it really? It's really against each other. Underneath the against each other, it's really for each other. When a couple fights, why do they fight? They fight because they love each other so much. Otherwise, they wouldn't fight. They would just leave. But when a couple fights, what are they really saying? I love you so much. How could you do this to me? So there are some couples that they'll spend their lives fighting with each other. Because what are they really saying? This marriage is not okay. I don't like the functionality of the marriage. So they're going to say, "I'm going to fight until I make it right." What's the problem with this approach? It's also not good. What's going to happen to the relationship when you fight?
You're going to destroy the relationship. It looks better than despair. It looks better than just giving up. It looks better than lowering your expectations because you're saying, 'No, I have expectations for this marriage.' Do you see how each one gets a little bit stronger? So no, I'm going to fight for this marriage. You're not really fighting for this marriage. You're destroying the person that you love because every fight takes away a little bit of the trust. In our relationship, all relationships are built on vulnerability. And what happens when a couple fights? You diminish the capacity to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. Fighting with someone tells them you are unsafe. So every stage doesn't work. And what's the final one? This is the best one. I'm totally not in control of my spouse. The only thing I can do is daven. Now that sounds frum.
That sounds really bad. But it's terrible. If you think about it, it's really terrible. Not because there's not value in davening for a marriage, but when you actually think about it, what are you really saying? System of despair. It's just a little bit more than despair. Why? Because you are in control. You are in control of your marriage a little bit, right? And just giving up and saying I'm going to be a spiritualist when it comes to this marriage and I'm going to leave it in the hands of God to fix this marriage, you're abdicating your responsibility. You also have a responsibility in this marriage. And so the responsibility in the marriage cannot just be I daven that we shouldn't hurt each other. That's not meaningful. If you keep hurting the other person, if you keep allowing the dysfunction to take place, then what are you really saying? Say I can't say this is inappropriate. I can't say this is hurtful. Do you understand? So Moshe Rabbeinu is hearing all four aspects of what Klal Yisrael is saying, but from the prism of a relationship. What is Moshe Rabbeinu saying? None of these are good options. Why? Because the goal of Yitzchias Mitzrayim is redemption.
So now let's look at it. What's redemption? You want to kill yourself? Are we redeemed that way? You want to go back to Mitzrayim. Are we redeemed that way? You want to fight against Mitzrayim. Are we going to be redeemed that way? We're likely going to die. We're coming up against the Egyptian army. We're a bunch of slaves. And last but not least, you want to daven. Where's your responsibility towards redemption? You see how from the military perspective, when you look at it, a person could say, listen. I don't want to fight and die by a sword. I'd rather die on my own account. It makes sense from a military perspective. Person says, "I may as well go back to Mitzrayim. Why should I die?" It makes sense from a survival perspective. Person says, "Listen, if I'm going to go down, I'm going to go down fighting." Again, it makes sense from a military perspective. Person says, "I'm going to daven." It makes sense from a perspective.
But it doesn't make sense from the perspective of the relationship. If the purpose of Yitzchias Mitzrayim was redemption, all of these things fall short. So Meisher Abenu knows as he's seeing all those chaverim sitting around and arguing about the different options. He says, 'Chaver, you're losing sight of the goal. The goal of Yisias Mitzrayim was to leave and become a nation. You guys are losing that ideal. We're gonna lose even if we go back to Mitzrayim. Even if you survive, let's say we will survive.' We'll live to fight another day. You already lost. You didn't lose the battle, you lost the war because this is the time of redemption. Let's make it practical for us nowadays. I want to explain to you the way the Lubavitcher Rebbe Zechariah Levrach explained this pshat. He says an unbelievable thing. We have a mission in this world. What's our mission? God desires to have a dwelling place in the world down below. What is our job? Build him a home. That's our job. If anybody asks you what is the goal of being a Jew, what is the mission you're on, the answer is very simple. I'm here to build a home for God. I'm a contractor. I'm building a small diro for Hakadosh Baruch Hu to exist. Wherever I am, I'm bringing godliness into the world.
It makes the world into a godly place. There are four perspectives that people have when it comes to making the world a godly place. Let's start off with the first one. There are those people that look at the world. Just like that couple that looks at their relationship and they say, 'It's not going to happen. It's just not going to happen.' This generation is so bad. And you've heard that, by the way. In your life you've heard that from so many rebbeim and so many teachers. I'll tell you what it looks like. In my time, we didn't have the technology that you have, and there's no way that you could possibly become anything in your life because of Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter. Whatever new app. Swipe left, swipe right, slide into DMs. It doesn't matter. Because we didn't have that when I was growing up. We didn't have that. But girls, I want to share with you a secret. Their rabbis said that to them. You guys are never going to have it. You know why? Because in my time we had radio. We didn't have television. So in my time we didn't have television. All we had was radio. Radio is not as bad as television because at least you're listening and you can see the people you're talking to. Whereas with television you're focused on the television. Whereas with the phone you're just focused on the phone. You're not even looking up.
And what did they say the generation before that? They said, in my time we didn't have newspapers and we weren't so focused on what was going on everywhere in the outside world. We could really focus on ourselves. And the generation before that, they said we didn't live in the big city. We lived in the shtetl. And the generation before that, and the generation before that, and the generation before that. You understand what's going on? Yes. The attitude that's being transmitted is exceptionally destructive because what are they really saying? You are doomed. And they say Jewish words. They say from-sounding words. You read the sadoros. That's all about the Mikal says. You read the sadoros, and there's truth to it. There's truth to it. No. But it's not. I'm sure, and I'm sure, I'm sure that Rabbi Prakal wasn't saying it in this way. I'm sure. Right. I don't think that's what he means. I think he's joking, and I know Rabbi Prakal. I know he's joking. But I think Fakher. I don't think he's saying you read as Adoros as this gloom and doom. You're not. You're nothing. Because why would any educator ever do that? Why would we want to destroy the people that you have no hope? None.
But that's sick, right? We would never raise our children to say, 'Yeah, I think you just got to give up.' Like it's not a healthy way of talking to people. I'm sorry to say, it's not a healthy way of talking to people. So I'm not saying it's not true. I'm not saying that the generation isn't lower. I do believe the generation is lower. I'm just not convinced that lower means worse. Lower means a new set of challenges, perhaps closer to the essence. So when it comes to teaching people, the last thing we need to be doing is telling them to abandon all hope. And there are people that are trying to jump into the Yam Suph, and they're trying to kill themselves, and they're trying to take everyone with them, and they're saying, 'Look, how are you going to build a world for God? It's impossible in today's generation. It's impossible.' I cannot tell you how many young mechanchim come to me and they go, 'I don't know, how you make a difference with the phones? How do you do with the phones? With the phones? With the phones?' As if communism wasn't a distraction for people. It was back in the day. Communism was like a legitimate distraction. I think that's crazy. I can't imagine going off the derech for a lot of things.
But I can't imagine going off the derech because I believe in communism. That's because I'm a product of this generation. There are people that just talk about it all day long. They're sitting and bashing. How could you do it? Give up. A rebbe said to me once. He said, "I was hired to teach a halacha class, but I couldn't get any of the kids to pay attention. All because of the phones." I'm like, maybe because you're boring. So he's like, what do you mean? I'm like, Halacha is a really hard subject to teach. And if you're just teaching do this and don't do that and do this and don't do that, I understand why people are going on their phones. If I had an option between being entertained and having to listen to you, I'd probably be entertained also. But if you want to sit there and rip on your students, it's probably an indication of why they're not listening to you to begin with.
It's a little bit harsh But it's also a lot of bit true. Then there's another type of rebbe, another type of teacher. This one says as follows: Look, it is what it is. We have to lower our expectations. They also talk about technology. We have to lower our expectations. It's true there was a time when people could sit and focus. People can't focus anymore. What do you want to do? People can't focus. We have to lower our expectations. They look at the world around them and they say, "Yes, Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave us a mission, Diri B'Tachtayim. We have to build a dwelling place for God." But it's not so possible in today's generation. So we're going to have to make do and we'll do our best. But honestly, it's just not going to happen. That was the whole point. The whole point is that God gave us this incredibly ambitious mission, and He said, "Build for Me a dwelling place in the world down below." If we lower our expectations beyond the actual mission, we've lost the mission itself.
So we lost something very sad. Then there are those. I see that our Kol D'varuchu agrees with me. He's giving me a he's giving me a soundtrack. You realize the arrogance of even saying that out loud. So the first type of Jew, he says, "Look, I'm totally cut off. I'm just going to kill myself. It's not going to happen." I should end with one point that the Lubavitcher Rebbe makes I didn't say before. The first type of Jew, he secludes himself. He says, 'Listen, the world is burning. I'm not going to be burnt, so I'll just go do my thing.' But he abandons the mission. The second type of Jew says, 'Look, I'm just giving up on the mission. I'm returning to Mitzrayim.' The third type of Jew is arguably the most dangerous. The third type of Jew decides, "If the world is going to wage war on me, I'm going to wage war on the world."
And that is the angry, judgmental, focused on the negative type of Jew. I want you to hear the way these people speak. We try not to be like these people, but this is the way they speak. Do you know? How unobservant this person is! Do you know what they do? B'chadrech adarim. They, meaning in the privacy of their own house, do you know who they really are? When they see a Jew, their focus is not embrace and warmth. Their focus is in looking at all the things they're doing wrong. So I'm sure that you've met people in your life. Please don't say any names because I don't want it to be anything that shmacks of any lashon hara. But do you ever meet that Rebbe or that teacher who someone knows? Because of course not you, but let's say you know someone who was dressed inappropriately. And when I say inappropriately, how, again, just a mitzvah. I don't blame anyone for it. But you know how sometimes there's like the school rules of how you're supposed to dress, and there's the girl that dresses just before the school rules. Like it's just falling short. Supposed to be to hear, and it's really to hear.
It's like the button is supposed to be like that. It's supposed to be like that. So you know that teacher, the first thing that comes out of their mouth when they see you in the morning is the thing that you're doing wrong. I'm sure you've met this person before. It's not 'good morning.' It's not 'how are you.' It's the button. You know, there are people I've seen this. I've seen this person walk in. This person who's this type of person. And all of a sudden, every girl goes into a readjustment of their clothing. You've seen this, right? And it's like, you know how in games, like in baseball games, they do the wave where everyone stands up and goes like this. So it's like the reverse wave. This way, it's like. So everyone has that. Everyone has, all of a sudden, a little bit of epilepsy, and everyone's like.
Why? And I'm not saying that people shouldn't call us out when we're doing the wrong thing. They should. But isn't there a way of saying it that's compassionate, kind, understanding, that makes a person feel like this person cares about me, not just about my buttons? There's this angry, judgmental, negative way of seeing the world that says I'm waging war on you. The only way that I'm going to get through to you is by screaming. And by the way, that type of chinuch, some people like it. My belief is it leaves people broken. It leaves people broken because what's going to happen? You're just yelling at them. So for the moment, maybe they feel like they're doing the wrong thing. But you know what comes after that? After they say, 'Oh, I'm doing the wrong thing. I should improve.' You know the thing that comes right after that? I'm such a bad person. You wage war. You know what you're going to do? You're going to win. You're gonna destroy people in the process. You're gonna get them to do the right thing.
But you're gonna kill the person in the process. You know that famous martial about choking the golden goose. Somebody has a golden goose. The golden goose lays golden eggs. Every time it lays a golden egg, he can go sell the golden egg for money. The problem is he needs money. He ran short of money, so he needs money. So what does he do? He kills the golden goose so he can pull out the egg that's inside because it's gonna take too much time for the egg to come out. Why? You kill the golden goose, you get the money. But now what did you lose? You lost all the golden eggs. How many times do I speak to people and they said, 'Yes, I perform. I am observant in my Judaism.' But lemaisa, I am not present. I show up to shul, I say the words, but there's no me. Why? Because somebody at some point in their life waged war on them and told them what they thought about them. Do you know? I know a young man who ad hayaymaze. He's in his 30s. Ad hayaymaze. He talks to me about his fourth grade rebbe. His fourth grade rebbe. At some point, I said to him, 'Dude, you were in fourth grade. Let it go.' He's like, 'I can't let it go.' I'm like, 'Okay, but that's your issue.' He's like, 'You're right.'
But you don't understand what it was like to be there with him. You don't understand what it was like to be in that classroom. And this is a rebbe who's an award-winning rebbe. He's an award-winning rebbe. He's a murderer. He's an award-winning rebbe, but he was a murderer. There were boys that came out of that class that were amazing. That he gave them the best skills. True. True, 100%. But there were all these other kids that somewhere along the way were told, 'You're not enough. You're not good enough. You're not as smart. You don't sit still as well.' Shkayach. Who do we love the most? And by the way, who are the ones that make the longest, impacting change? Are not the rebbeim that are waging war. The rebbeim that they have shi'itas. They have things they believe in. But divrei chachamim benachas neshmaim. They say it in such a sweet way. I want to highlight one rebbe.
These were meant for me, right? Benachas Neshman is a rebbe in Yeshiva Darke Torah. His name is Rabbi Saldinger. Nobody in the history of the world will ever have a bad word to say about Rabbi Saldinger. He's a second grade rebbe. He's been a second grade rebbe his entire life. His entire career. Rabbi Saldinger. It is the funniest thing in the world to sit in his classroom. Everyone at some point in their life should sit in Rabbi Salzinger's classroom. I want to tell you why. He loves his talmidim very, very much. He himself was never blessed to have biological children, so the children in his class are like the children that he mamish cares about. And when he disciplines, it's the funniest thing in the world. He tells kids, he goes. If you don't start behaving And he gets that look on his face, like a kid misbehaving. If you don't start behaving, I'm going too, and the whole class. He teaches them this in the beginning of the year. I'm going to send you to Alba Island for imperpetuity. A bunch of second graders. I'm going to send you to Alba Island for imperpetuity. He goes, if you don't start behaving, I'm going to dip you in chocolate until you're so delicious.
Why? The kid knows he's not behaving. But he's not coming and saying you're a bad kid. He's coming and saying, 'Come on, you're so cute, you're so delicious. Don't behave that way.' And it's a message that you think it's second grade. Like a second grader is not going to take it with him, right? I know. I'll tell you, my brother. My brother was very sick when he was in second grade. He was in and out of school because he was so sick. And he wasn't sick like with a flu. He had whooping cough. One of his lungs collapsed. The other lung collapsed. He had terrible asthma. It was a disaster of a year. And Rabbi Saldinger was so sweet and so nice and so gentle and so loving and so caring. And he held him over that entire year. And it was my brother's first year in the school. So when my brother had his third child, he had nobody to name after. So he called Rabbi Saldinger and he said to him, 'Rebbe, this is my third son. I have nobody to name after. For everything you did for me, I'd like you to name my son after whoever you would like to name after, because I know you never got to name children of your own.' So Rabbi Saldinger named my brother's third son Yishai Yosef after his father.
You think it's just a second grader, right? My brother was in his mid-30s when he named his third son. You understand? It can go with you for a long time. Don't wage war on the world. Don't look at the world with that sour eye and with that negative way. I'm not. It's true. You're not the first guy who just retreats and says, 'Fine, I'll do my own thing.' But you're not so much better because you're destroying people in the process. And then finally, there are the frummas. I want to change the world. The world is too messed up, so I'm just going to dive in and God will have to change it. Now again, it sounds frum. But what's the problem? You were put into the world to change the world. So if you were put into the world to change the world, it's not to say I'm leaving it up to God.
You're here on the mission, so you can't just abdicate responsibility and go. It's up to God. Just like in the relationship, you can't turn around and just go I'm gonna daven, then it's gonna be all better. It's true there is value in being a davener. It's true there is value in calibrating yourself. But at the end of the day, you have to take responsibility for your parts, and that doesn't go away with davening. Maybe you should daven for the courage to do that. But at the end of the day, you have to take responsibility, just like you have to take responsibility out there in the world. It's not enough to just daven. So when we look at Klal Yisrael's four complaints Or not four complaints—I shouldn't say that. When you look at Klal Yisrael's four ways of seeing Kriyas Yam Suf, they mirror the way that people see relationships. They mirror the way that people see the world. What's the solution? Because Lamaisa, when we look out of the world, it's pretty crazy. It's pretty crazy world. Since it's a crazy world, we have to have a solution. But it's interesting. Meisher Abenu doesn't provide a solution. It's almost as if, if you're sensitive, if you have real ears for this It's almost as if this is what's going on. Meisher Abenu comes and he says, All four of your arguments are wrong. They turn back to Moshe Rabbeinu and go, Got any ideas?
And Moshe Rabbeinu doesn't have an answer for this question. If you're standing on the precipice of the answer, and Moshe Rabbeinu says, 'Don't kill yourself, don't return to Mitzrayim, don't wage war, and don't daven.' What are my options? Moshe Rabbeinu doesn't have an answer. Hashem comes with an answer. And what's his answer? Daber al bnei Yisrael vayiso. Travel on. That's what he wants Moshe Rabbeinu to teach us. It's interesting. The Torah doesn't say that Moshe Rabbeinu was instructed to travel. What was Moshe Rabbeinu instructed to do? To tell us to travel. It's a little different, right? Moshe Rabbeinu is being taught the secret of Jewish survival. Which is teach them a different way. Don't just tell them what to do. Teach them. Daber el benayisro. Teach them. What is he meant to teach us? You know how sometimes you're looking at a problem And no matter what way you look at it, it's just going to be bad.
Is it possible that you are not seeing the problem correctly? There's a famous movie. I don't generally quote movies. I don't know if you've seen it. If you haven't seen it, it's fine. I'm not suggesting you should see it. I'm just telling you it's a great movie. But you shouldn't see it. Such a good movie. It's called Patch Adams. So one of you saw it. Seinfeld's already a different level of kedusha. In the movie, there's a guy who's a very wealthy man, but he's in an insane asylum. He keeps telling Robin Williams, 'Patch,' and he keeps telling him, 'How many fingers am I holding up?' And he keeps answering him, 'Four fingers. I'm holding up four fingers.' And he says, 'Nah, you're not getting it.' And after many tries, finally Robin Williams asks him in the movie. He says, 'What are you trying to tell me?'
And he says, "How many fingers am I holding up?" And then you see that he unfocuses his eyes, and all of a sudden his fingers blur, and all of a sudden you're not just looking at four fingers anymore. You're looking at eight fingers because the fingers start to blur. And the message was that when you're focused on the problem, you can only see the problem. But when you look past it, and things start to blur, all of a sudden more options become available to you. Generally in life, when we find ourselves up against a yamsuf The yamsuf is a figment of our imagination. It's born from a place of fear. It's born from a place of 'I'm not enough. I can't handle this.' But you can handle it because the obstacle that's in front of you might not be as real as you think it is. Which doesn't mean to say that it's a zero. That whereas you perceive a yamzuf in front of you, you may not know that yamzuf is ready to split.
So if you're looking at the yamzuf and your yamzuf is your immobile object, you're saying, 'Look, I got a yamzuf. So what now?' Maybe you don't have a yamzuf. That's a crazy thing to say. I have a yamzuf. I'm standing on the yamzuf right now. What do you mean I don't have a yamzuf? I'm standing on the yamzuf right now. Slow down. Maybe you don't have a yamzuf. Maybe if you just move forward a little bit, you will see that the sea will split. So there's an education that's going on over here. You're looking at the Mitzrayim coming towards you. The Egyptian army. You're looking at the Yam Suf on one side. You're saying, 'I don't have any options.' Yes, you do. Keep going. Let's move this first into the realm of the world, and then we'll move it back into the realm of relationships. You're standing here in the world. Your year in seminary, you're in a bubble. But you're going to continue out of that bubble at some point in your life, and you're going to get all these mussar shmussar of how terrible it's going to be. After they're done scaring you, what's going to be left?
It's not enough just to say I'm going to daven, because lemaisa you have to engage. It's not enough. Which again, there's value in davening, but it's not going to be enough by itself. It's not going to be okay to wage war on the world. You're going to push people away. It's not going to be enough to say. I guess I'm giving up because then you're losing your mission, and you can't just hide in the corner. So what is your option? Move forward. Just move forward. If you move forward, you're going to see that you're going to accomplish amazing things because the wall that you perceive to be there. It's not a wall, it's a door. But you're so convinced that it's a wall, and what's worse, there are people that are convincing you that it's a wall. It's not a wall, it's a door. But if you walk towards it, it's like one of those doors that recognizes that you're walking towards it. It will open for you. I know it appears to be a wall, but walk towards the wall. Open sesame. You'll see. You'll be able to get through. So when you find yourself where you have nowhere to turn, what's the answer? With courage and vulnerability.
Just keep going, because that's what's right. That's what's true. That's what's honest. You understand? So God is not saying to the Jews, "I'm going to split the sea." It's not the first thing He says. The first thing He says is, "Teach them to move forward when they're scared and they're stuck. Teach them to move forward when they're in a place of despair. Teach them to move forward when they're angry and judgmental and bitter. Teach them to move forward when they want to lower their expectations and they want to give up on the fundamental mission. Teach them to move forward when they say It's a powerful message. And it's true in relationships as well. In every relationship, whether it's our relationship with God, whether it's our relationship with our parents, whether it's our relationship with our siblings, our friends, our community, our spouse, our children, in every relationship there are going to be times, and they are the worst of times, where you feel trapped on both sides. I can't leave and I can't stay. I don't know what to do.
I can't leave. That's my sibling. I'm not stopping talking to my sibling. That's my husband. I'm not going to stop talking to my husband. I'm not going to just say I'm getting divorced. I'm not going to despair. But on the other hand, I feel like the Egyptian army is coming towards me. How am I supposed to get out of that? I feel like I'm being perpetually attacked by this person. But the other option is no good either. What do you do? When there appears to be no options, keep going. Because you don't know that one of those things that appears to be an obstacle is actually a door. It could very well be that the challenging relationship you have with one of your children is going to be your best relationship, and this obstacle to that relationship is going to end up being the portal that makes your relationship closest with that child of all. The child that drives you crazy is probably the child that's most like you, and that child will bring you to new levels of awareness in yourself.
Could be if you go through it, you open that door. Could be that the child itself is going to benefit from the love that you give them. You'll bring them so much closer together because of that obstacle. Could be that the time you get into a fight with your spouse and you feel like all is lost. Could be that that's the beginning of what's going to be the best part of your relationship. Because once you work through that, God willing, it's going to be awesome. Is there room for davening? Of course, but not abdicating responsibility. You have to move forward. And they have to know the time. Al tatekelei. God is saying, "Don't call out to me." Take responsibility for what's going on. You've convinced yourself you're trapped. You're not trapped. You're just on the precipice of greatness. And if you think about it, what was the very last thing before Matan Torah? It was Kriyas Yam Suf. When we went from being a family to being a nation, we had to go through one last piece. What was that? Not just leaving Mitzrayim. But recognizing that just because you have an obstacle doesn't mean you're stuck. It might be the beginning of the best thing you ever go through.
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