Vayishlach - The Struggles and the Purity of Yaakov

2:20 Yaakov Avinu is called by both names. He's called both Yaakov and Yisrael. So there's a difference between Avram Avinu and Yaakov Avinu. When it comes to Avram Avinu, he has his name changed from Avram to Abraham, and his name is no longer allowed to be called Avram. If you call Avram Avinu Avram, you're either over on an asay or on a lav. You understand? However, when it comes to Yaakov Avinu, even after Hashem changes his name He's still called what? He's still called Yaakov. What's the obvious question? What's the difference between Yaakov and Avram? Do you hear the question? Anyone need me to repeat it? Good. Obviously We can tell that there's a difference between the name Avram and Abraham. What's the difference between the name Avram and Abraham? One has a hey. It seems that the name Avram is like a reduced state. It's like a lower state.

3:20 And he became in an elevated state where his name got a hey. He had some sort of level of godliness that was added to his name, and therefore it would be usher for him to be called Avram. It's not really true with Yaakov inu, is it? Yaakov's name doesn't just have an additional hey. What does his name become? Yisrael. So it seems there are two dimensions. There's a dimension called Yaakov and a dimension called Yisrael. Which one is higher? Yisrael is obviously higher But it seems that when it comes to Yaakov, even though we say your name is no longer called Yaakov, it doesn't mean that he no longer occupies a space called Yaakov. Rather, what it means is that Yaakov Avinu represents one state of Yaakov Avinu, and Yisrael represents a higher state. So the question that we have to determine for tonight is what's the difference between Yaakov and Yisrael. Everyone have this.

4:16 I want to share with you a very, very beautiful idea. But it's going to require a little bit of focus. And I see that that's hard to come by on a Thursday night. I totally understand. But if you can, I think there's a very beautiful idea here for us to learn. So the pasuk says as follows: Listen to the words of the pasuk. Lo hibit avon liYaakov, avon liBeYaakov. The lo ra amol bi yisrael. Listen to the words. I am going to translate the words. Lo hibit avon bi yakov means that Hashem does not see any evil in Yakov. The lo ra amol bi yisrael and He sees no toil in Yisrael. So we see again. Here is a perfect example of one pasuk that includes the words Yakov and Yisrael. And obviously it's referring to two different things. So the first thing is, what does it mean? That Hashem sees no evil in Yaakov Avinu So listen to this idea because it's a game-changing idea.

5:18 The first level, the level of Yaakov Avinu, is the level of struggle. This is Yaakov Avinu at the beginning of his life. In the entire beginning of Yaakov Avinu's life, what is his life defined by? His life is defined by struggle. The struggles that he has with Esav, and then the struggles that he has with Lavan. His entire life is devoted to struggling. We have a terrible, wrong, broken idea that every one of us needs to excise from our minds. This idea is wrong, and it's dangerous, and it's hurtful. We think that when we're struggling, and when we're losing that struggle, what do we think? We think that we're bad. You girls know the difference between shame and guilt. Shame is when you're over-identified with your lowest moments. Shame is when you say, "Because I made this mistake, I am bad." And my experience tells me that most girls, when they make a mistake, when they do something they know they shouldn't do, when they go out to a certain place in a certain time with a certain person, whatever it is, and they find themselves doing something they're not proud of Instead of saying "That behavior is not me. That behavior was undignified." What do they end up saying about themselves?

6:39 I'm a bad person. I don't do what Hashem wants. I'm an avaryon. Hashem says, "Don't do an avera," and I do averas. So I feel unworthy of love and connection from Hashem because of the avera that I did. I become unlovable. Hashem, why would Hashem love me? You ever have this question? If I just did that thing, then why in the world would Hashem love me? I know what I'm supposed to do. You're all good girls. You know what you're supposed to do. You know you're not supposed to do. But you end up doing something that you're not proud of, and then you end up saying, "I am that thing." That is an unhealthy attitude that needs to be removed from our Judaism. It needs to be purged from our minds. It's dangerous. The Baal Shem Tov said, "It's not the bite of the snake that kills you; it's the venom."

7:27 The bite is just a pinch, right? If a snake bites you, it hurts, right? Because it's a pinch. But why does a person die from a snake bite if it's a poisonous snake? But because of the venom that the snake secretes, that poison goes throughout your body. When you do an avera, says the Balshemtov, it's not the avera that kills you. You know what kills you? Now you start to identify as the person that did this avera, and it's hard to unblend ourselves. That's the key word. It's hard to unblend myself from the avera that I did. So really, what we should have is what's called healthy guilt. Healthy guilt is like the boundaries on the side of the highway. When you're driving and you have that little bump, it just reminds you, hey, I'm in the wrong place. Healthy guilt just moves you back a little bit. What's the difference between healthy guilt and shame?

8:22 Shame says I'm a bad person who's unworthy of love and connection. Guilt says I behaved in a way that was not in accordance with the nature of my soul. It was undignified behavior. It was beneath me. You ever do something at the end of it, you feel gross. You ever do something wrong, and at the end of it, you're like, ugh, I don't want to feel that way ever again. You know what I'm saying? It's like, yeah, there was that whole scene. There was that party. People were doing whatever they were doing, right? And then at the end of it, you're like That just didn't feel right. That's called healthy guilt. That means that you have inside of you a part of you that tells you this is not me. And I want to stop behaving that way because I don't want to feel that way again. Do you hear that? It's a very subtle difference, but it's the most important difference in Yiddishkeit.

9:12 Now you'll say That's a nice, cute Hasidishavart. One second, I'll get to him. It's not a nice, cute Hasidishavart. It's this pasuk. Listen to the words: Lohibit Avon beYaakov. Hakadosh Baruch Hu does not perceive any evil in Yaakov. What is Yaakov? Yaakov represents the stage of struggle. That's why Yaakov Avinu is holding onto the heel. That's the movement, the turmoil of life. Your heel is where you walk from. So Yaakov Avinu is in the turmoil of life, and he's fighting for his life. Has he succeeded? Is he victorious yet? No. At this stage of life, you're still making mistakes. You're a fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen-year-old girl, and you're still in a stage of trial and error. So sometimes, even after you hear a good she'er, you go like, "I know I shouldn't do this, but I already made plans. I'm going to do it anyway."

10:04 It doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means you're still in the state of struggle. Lo hibit avon beYakov means in this moment you're called a servant of Hashem, and Hashem perceives no evil in you. We think Hashem must see me as an evil person. What does Hashem see you as? A struggling person. Sometimes you make the right decision. Sometimes you make the wrong decision. Let's say you said to me, "But I'm making the wrong decision all the time." You're in the fight, but you're losing. But you're not a bad person. Lo hibit avim by Yakov means that a person has to know that they maintain their essential levels of goodness, no matter where they go. Every morning and davening, what do we say? Elo kai. Neshama shanasat to be taharei The soul that you gave me is pure. How could we say the soul that you gave me is pure if I went out last night and I did whatever I did? How could I wake up in the morning and say that my soul is pure? A person has to know you're not defined by your lowest moments.

11:03 How many people are walking around thinking that they're defined by their lowest moments? What's your question? I guess that reminds me of the term alfadara, when teachers say it or people oh they did that, so they're alfadara. It's terrible, right? That's right. That's right. This is the path, and you're not in the path, so you're off the path. You're taking a journey, and that path might have more turns and more complications than somebody else's path. But that's your derech. And you're still good. And just because right now you're not necessarily doing the right thing that Hashem wants, doesn't mean that you've lost your connection to Hashem Chas v'Shalom. And this is what Hashem is saying: Lo Hibit Avim BiYakov. I'm looking at you, Yaakov Avinu, and I'm looking at you struggling, and I value that struggle. And remain, you remain essentially good. I love your point. It's a beautiful point. We should make that point every single morning when you say,"Lo kain neshama shemasat b'toyerei." You should have in mind that you should become a person that stops saying off the derech and starts widening the derech for other people.

12:06 Translation of the Kabbalat: Hashem does not see any lohibit avom b'Yaakov. Hashem does not perceive any evil in Yaakov. The low ra amol bi yisrael he does not see any toil in yisrael. We're going to explain that second part soon. Work, struggle. I just don't understand how we see it from Yaakov because I understand that when Hashem puts us in certain situations and we have to go through them, I know how we can see from Yaakov. Some things I'll just speak for myself, some things that I do. They're very like their choices. It's not like Hashem. It's not like Hashem gave me this struggle. It's a bad choice that I made. And it's not like Yaakov. Yaakov had a twin brother. You know what I'm saying? He didn't put himself in that situation. You know. You know. Even when you're choosing, first of all, I love the honesty of your question and the integrity. And again, it says so much about you.

13:03 But let's say even when a person is in a state where they made a choice, that choice does not define you. You're not your choices. You are a soul. A godly soul can never become impure. It's impossible. It's godly. Something that's godly cannot become impure. It could be covered up. It could be dirty, but it fundamentally remains pure. So you're in a place right now where you have a yitzhahar, you have an nefesh bahamitz. You're pulled to do a certain thing. It doesn't define you. It's not who you are. It's something you did. You are not your behaviors. We should tell it to all Jews. Every Jew should remember Lo Hibit Avim Biyakov. When you make the wrong decision, remember that you're still essentially good. Do you need a little cleaning? But Rav Moshe Weinberger, many years ago, I had the opportunity to speak with him, and he said to me a line And he was giving me a little bit of mussar. He I won't tell you what I said because it's embarrassing. But what he said to me is Mordechai, don't forget that you're polishing diamonds. Even though you might feel like you're dealing with the garbage, underneath the garbage there's a diamond, and a Jew remains a diamond no matter what they do.

14:17 And even if we go and we're doing things that we're not necessarily proud of, it's not because we're bad people. It's because we made silly choices. I have a rebbe. His name is Rebbe Yom Tzur, and he always says this. And I remember he's such a sweet man. He's like the ultimate in warmth and the ultimate in goodness. When he was a rebbe in Ezra Academy, which was a school for kids that were becoming frum, if a kid didn't do well on a test, he would write that their grade was NYP, not yet passing. And always had the sweetest thing. So whenever he spoke about a person doing an aveiro, he would always say that you found yourself in a funny place doing a funny thing, something that you know you shouldn't do, but for some reason you had a ruach tos that came inside of you that made you do it. It's such a beautiful way of speaking because he was just reminding everybody. You did an avera. You are not your avera.

15:05 But how many of us are walking around thinking, 'I am my average'? We have this perseverating thought. I have a deep sense of shame. I'm not worthy of Hashem's love anymore because look at all the things that I did, and we're walking around, mamish, feeling like I'm a zero. Lohibit avon beYaakov. For the Yaakov Avinu's in this room, which Baruch Hashem all of us are, we're all people that are struggling. None of us have arrived at that level of not struggling anymore. We're all servants of Hashem. To be a servant of Hashem means to live in the world and to struggle. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not looking at us negatively. We talk about judgment, right? In this generation Especially, that's the thing I hear most from people. Don't judge me. You ever say that? I don't like when you're judging me. Why don't we want? Why are we so uncomfortable with judgment? We're uncomfortable with judgment because if you judge me, you're not really judging me. You're only judging me by the outside.

15:53 But you don't really know who I am because you don't know the things that I've been through. You don't know the family that I came from. You don't know the family that my family came from. You don't know my friends. You don't know the trials and tribulations. You don't know the social anxiety that I cover up very well. You don't really know who I am. So your judgment is not a compassionate judgment because you don't really see me. But the truth of the matter is that when Hashem judges us, He judges us perfectly. A perfect judgment means that He doesn't just look at our actions, but He understands how our actions were really coping mechanisms for pain that we didn't want to experience. So Hashem is not looking at you, going, 'you're a bad person.' Hashem says, 'First of all, who put you in the world? I put you in the world. Second of all, who put you in this family, and who put you in the family that came from this family, and who put you in that school with those teachers, with those friends?' Hashem's judgment is infinitely compassionate.

16:40 So Hashem is not sitting and looking at us like we're a bunch of bad people. That's our stuff. And what we have to do is stop thinking about ourselves that way. Then there's another level And this level is a level that is almost impossible for us to understand. But maybe we got glimpses of it. This level is called Yisroel. Yisroel is after you're done fighting. So then you've arrived at a point of tranquility. Think of it like a married couple. In the beginning of their marriage, they're still learning how to live with each other. I'll share with you what I'm telling them. Who lives here in the neighborhood now? He's shiiking. Baruch Hashem, beautiful family. He called me up about three months into his marriage. I'll never forget this. He goes, Rabbi, Baruch Hashem, I have awesome shalom bayis. I love my wife. Everything is fine. But can I ask you a question? I said sure.

17:28 Do women notice everything? Is that a general thing that women do? So I said, Well, I don't know about all women, but I know that women certainly notice more than men. He goes. I feel like my wife notices everything I do. I've been living in dorms for years. The guys never noticed what I was doing. There's an adjustment period, but then what happens after the adjustment period? And the adjustment period might take 20, 25 years. What happens after the adjustment period? Then there's smooth sailing. It's like we're not learning to live with each other. We've arrived. There are times in our yiddishkeit. I don't know if you've ever experienced times like this. You ever have a good month Like a good month of yiddishkeit. You ever have a good month of davening where, for no reason whatsoever, your davening actually meant something to you? Where you had a streak of a month where you weren't doing anything wrong. You ever have something like that Like a taste of it?

18:18 That's called yisrael. You're no longer a servant of Hashem. You're a child. In that stage, there's no struggle. Lo hibit avim biyakov. Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't perceive any evil in Yaakov. Lo ra amal biyisrael. When you become yisrael, then there's no amelus anymore. There's no toil. Everything is fine. It's just smooth sailing. This is the level that Yaakov Avinu reaches after he fights with the Malach of Esav. After he fights with the Malach of Esav, Yaakov Avinu is in a stage of smooth sailing. He's in a stage where he doesn't have to deal with Esav anymore. He doesn't have to deal with Lavan anymore. He's arrived at a stage of sitkus, which is beautiful. There's no more toil. All there is harmony and tranquility in the relationship. For many of us, that sounds like a dream, but we've had tastes of it. We've had glimmers, we've had glimpses of this type of life.

19:05 So that's what this pasuk means But if that's the case, the Rebbe says I have a question. Yaakov Avinu's life after the story with the Malach of Esav is his life tranquil? Is everything go well? No. We know that there were periods of tranquility. There was the nine years from the time that he returned to Eretz Yisrael from Charan until the sale of Yosef And then the twenty-two years that he mourned Yosef. But there were also seventeen years that he lived in Mitzrayim, that he was tranquil. So Yaakov Avinu, even after he fights the Malach of Esav, and even after he leaves the house of Lavan, we see that he still has periods of Yaakov and periods of Yisrael. I don't understand. We just got done saying that when you become Yisrael, you've arrived. You have period. You have tranquility now, and you have no more fights.

19:53 And it's obviously not the case. So listen to what the Balatanya says. And this is a big insight, and this is the real point that I want to make tonight. There are two different types of foods. There are sweet foods and spicy foods. Anyone here like sweet food? Anybody likes very sweet desserts? I like sweet desserts. I don't like spicy desserts. There's such a thing as people that put spice in their chocolate. It's like spicy chocolate. Don't do that to me. I don't want that. Sweet desserts. A sweet dessert—it's addictive, right? It's delicious. There's no complexity to it. In your baking, I see my daughter. I don't bake, but I see my daughter's baking. Sometimes they're just throwing in massive sticks of margarine and a tremendous amount of vanilla, and then it's covered in that white frosting. Somebody made cinnamon buns and sent me a fresh cinnamon bun the other day. There's nothing as delicious as a fresh cinnamon bun. Did anyone here ever go to Cinnabon? There's a kosher Cinnabon in New Jersey. It's like this giant cinnamon. It's delicious.

21:01 The reason why sweetness is so delicious is because the palate does not need to have any complexity to enjoy it. You don't need to have any complexity to enjoy it. There's anyone here. Anyone here from the south? Anyone here from Atlanta or Memphis, something like that? So you have chicken like fried chicken on what's it called? Not on waffles. Chicken and waffles, smothered in gravy. In my life, I never thought that chickens smothered in pancake syrup could be delicious. But down, where you from, Atlanta? Atlanta, that's like a staple food. No? Is it good? It's delicious. They have it at weddings. That's the new thing. We're having that at weddings. Any time a food is sweet, you don't need to have any complexity in order to understand the food. That's the level of a tzaddik, says the Balatanya. The level of a tzaddik is somebody that everything in their yiddishkeit is sweet. There's no complexity. There's no struggle.

22:03 Says the Balatanya. And this Friday night is Yud Tes Kislev So for those of you that know Yud Tes Kislev is the birthday of Chasidus. This is when the Alter Rebbe was led out of jail in a very miraculous fashion. So it's appropriate that we're speaking out a word from the Balatanya. The Balatanya says, but there's also something very appropriate and delicious about spicy food. Anyone here likes spicy food? When a food is spiced well and it just has enough to excite the palate. And it's complex. It's not as simple. If you have some people who hate spicy food, happens to be I love spicy food. I don't like spicy food. Some people are putting on triple X death ray spicy sauce. I'm not into that, but I like just enough spice that it's ooh, that's spicy. What do we like better? Some of us like the sweet desserts, but some of us really like spicy foods. There's a level of yisrael, but even after you become yisrael, life could get boring.

23:07 If everything in your life is tranquil, does that sound good? It'd be nice, for sure. It's nice, and we want to have a background of tranquility to our life. But if you think about what makes life great What makes life great is when life has a certain. Maybe you'll take it out of. I'm using a strong language. I don't mean it like this. But isn't a roller coaster a little bit fun? Like doesn't like a roller coaster. You don't know what's going to happen next. You don't know where you're going to turn. There's something that keeps you on your toes. If life would just be tranquil, we wouldn't want to be a part of it. So sometimes the fact that life is not always going so well and that I'm struggling and the things are not easy, what does that tell us? It tells us maybe there's work being done. It's like imagine if you never had any fights with your husband.

24:03 On the one hand, there's something beautiful about that, but on the other hand, doesn't it lack a little bit of like? The friction makes the fire, right? Like, there's something good about we're working towards each other. I remember many years ago, I had a roommate who was a tzaddik. Like a tzaddik. I'm talking about the nicest guy in the world. Talking like a guy who never got into a fight with anybody And he married a girl who was exactly like that. And the wedding was in Baltimore, and we were all driving from New York to Baltimore together. We got to Baltimore and were under the chuppah, and I was an aide under the chuppah for the wedding. And under the chuppah, the rasha shiva who was the masada kedushin turned to me and he goes, "How much do you hate the fact that you know that this couple is never gonna fight?"

24:49 And I remember turning to him and going, 'Rebbe, it's an excellent conversation, but maybe not now under the chuppah. Maybe this is not the best time to have this conversation.' And he and his kolar are sitting right there, and I was like, 'Maybe we'll talk about it later.' And it's true sometimes. And I'm sure it works for them, and I'm sure that I'm sure they have had in their marriage fights. It's just hard to imagine. But some people When they're struggling in their marriage, we tend to look at it and go like, their marriage is lacking for something. Maybe not. Maybe the fact that they're fighting is not fighting with each other. Maybe they're fighting for each other. Does that make sense? And there are periods of tranquility, but sometimes for no reason at all, a fight comes up. When that fight comes up, what's the opportunity? The opportunity is to clarify the love that we have for each other. It's a little bit spicy. It's a little bit complicated. It's a little bit complex. But ultimately, the dish is a little bit more meaningful because of it. It can't always be sweet. If it's always sweet, you're just going to be eating dessert the entire time. Eventually, sweetness gets a little bit too much.

25:53 And this what the Alter Rebbe, this what the Lubavitcher Rebbe points out, based on what the Alter Rebbe said. Even after Yaakov becomes Yisrael, even after he's reached that elevated stage of tranquility, tranquility gives you a fun of like a foundation to be able to say It's okay if not everything goes well all the time. When we put these two things together, I want to bring it back to our avodah shem. Let's take a second. A moment ago, we were talking about the girl that doesn't avera. She finds herself in a funny place. A rush just comes into her head. She does something that she's not proud of. That she knows is the wrong thing. We spent the first half of the year saying, "Don't have shame over that. Have appropriate levels of guilt."

26:33 Don't have shame. You're still a good person. Don't define yourself by your lowest moment. But now I want to show you an even deeper dimension. The fact that you're still struggling. A girl says, 'I'm in seminary. It's December already. How am I still struggling?' Remember, I came to seminary. I have all these hopes, dreams, aspirations, and expectations. I wanted to come out being a certain person. How could it be that I'm still struggling with this in December? Maybe I'm failing myself. Maybe I'm in the wrong seminary. How come the girls here aren't doing it? You start blaming everybody else. Did you have that moment yet in your life where you were blaming everybody else in seminary? I see that only two or three girls smirked. So Baruch Hashem. It seems like most of you are on the same page. But for those of you that smirked, I want you to know. Thank you for coming along with me on this. Just to let me know that you're in that party. It's okay. We all did it. I did it when I was Shana Olive too.

27:21 And by the way, for the girls that are looking at each other right now to try to see who said what, I just want you to know I appreciate you too because you're also giving yourself away. Thank you very much for coming with me. So we went from about two or three to about ten in the last five seconds. It was a beautiful thing to watch. Maybe we can appreciate the fact that we're struggling. Maybe not only should we not be ashamed of it, but maybe the fact that we're struggling is not a bug. Maybe it's a feature. Maybe our whole life we grew up being told you're not allowed to struggle. You just have to be good. And maybe that's not right. Maybe we should do the right thing, but it's human to struggle. And part of what makes our relationship with Hashem meaningful is that we're struggling. So you could sit here and say "I can't believe I'm struggling. It's wrong of me to struggle." Or you could say, "Struggling is built into the system. Even after Yaakov Avinu reaches the level of Yisroel, he still struggles. He still remains Yaakov Avinu. He still called Yaakov Avinu. We literally still call him Yaakov Avinu in the very same pasuk."

28:25 Why? Because arriving doesn't mean that there's no more struggle. It just means that now you learn to appreciate the struggle. Once you become Yisrael and you have that baseline of tranquility, Now when you struggle, you realize the struggle is on purpose. That's what makes the relationship complex. It's what makes the relationship beautiful. We know the higher level is not to be the tzaddik. The higher level is to be the bal tshuva. What's the godless of being the bal tshuva? The godless of being the bal tshuva is. You struggle for your Yiddishkeit. There's complexity. When you make a mistake, it brings you closer to Hashem. We have to teach this over and over again. This is what Chassidus brought to the world. How many? I just remind you how many of you came from a Lubavitcher background. There was a number of you that came from a Lubavitcher background. So you girls have to remember this. And really, everybody needs to be taught this. This is the reason why Chassidus is so popular today, because people are just trying to figure out why in the world they are struggling so much.

29:26 Everyone's going through it. Everyone in this room is struggling, and everyone is struggling with something that we know nothing about. And we're trying to figure out why I'm so messed up. What's so broken about me that I'm struggling? You're not broken. This is the nature of the system. The nature of the system is designed to reveal Hashem in the lowest worlds. If we're in this world, it's a world of struggle. There's no such thing as not struggling. Bez Hashem, you'll make more good choices than bad. But if you're making bad choices, remember Lo Hibed Avin Byakava. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not looking at you and saying you're evil. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is looking at you and saying you're good, and you don't understand your own goodness. If you would understand how good you are, you would never be able to do an avera. It's only because we're not aware of our goodness. And if you're struggling, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one that made this a world of struggle, because through struggle we find the complexity, we find the beauty in our relationship with Hashem.

30:24 You mentioned before. You mentioned before. She's not here. You mentioned before about this concept of going off the derech. If going off the derech means that you struggle and you're bad, then you're right. Everybody's going off the derech. How many times have we heard from Moshe Weinberger Shlita Shlit"a, the Rav of Eish Kodesh? For those of you who haven't heard of him, you should start listening to Shirim. They're incredible. How many times have we heard of Rv Weinberger roasting all these rebayim and teachers that are sitting there and telling their kids you have to be perfect? And he says to them, "Where were you when you were sixteen years old? You were perfect. You were the chavetz chaim at eighteen years old. You were the labavacher rebi at eighteen years old." Nobody was like that. I knew some of your teachers at eighteen years old. And believe me, they weren't like this. It took a long time to become that.

31:11 Sometimes you think like a rebi gets up here and it's like, 'Oh, he's got it figured out.' None of us have it figured out. You think we're not struggling? We, the rabbim, are struggling. We, the teachers, are struggling. And all we're doing is sharing with you that it's normal and it's human to struggle. And yes, we set a goal. We set a high level. We set a bar for ourselves. That's a high level bar. But chas v'shalom to think that your teachers aren't struggling. If you think we're sitting up here and we're perfect and we're tranquil in our entire lives and everything is good, then that means we're doing a terrible job of being mechanechim. Because that means you have no idea what's really going on underneath the surface. Girls, the word of the day is compassion. Have compassion for your struggles. You're normal human beings. Doesn't mean what you're doing is right. It means that you should start to say to yourself, 'This is a normal thing. I'm in the world in order to struggle. I'm Adam la Amol Yulad. I'm designed to struggle, and the struggles are going to be what makes me great.' Because the struggles are going to remind me this is not the person that I want to be. Does that make sense? Girls, we'll stop here. Have a beautiful Shabbos and a good night, Kiselev.