Vayera - Unifying the Duality of Our Lives

2:06 You could win a game even if you're not talented. And a person could put in the kolkocho. They could put in all of their efforts and they could score. And even teams that are not so good could go very far. Even walk-on teams could sometimes win. The sorry, it's too close to home. It's I'm one of you, so I understand the pain. If a person has the focus. If a person has the dedication, what do I do? How do I make the most out of that? How do I channel it into this year? That's one level of the question. There's a deeper level of the question. Again, without getting into any details The deeper level of the question is: how do I get into yeshiva? How do I make the most out of this year? How do I really stieg? If I also have an agenda I also have a thing that I want to become.

2:59 I also have in my head that there are things I do want to do in my life and things that I don't want to do in my life, and I want to make sure that yeshiva doesn't interrupt my plans. How do I make the most out of my year if I'm a dedicated person? So I got to focus into the basic medrash, but at the same time, if I'm being honest with you I have things in my life that I want to do. I want to become a doctor. I want to become a lawyer. I want to be in business. I want to be in hard money lending. I want to be in diamonds. I want to be in real estate. Whatever Jewish thing you're going to do. So I want to know how do I do that, and at the same time, Rabbi, what happens if I get into yeshiva? How do I know which path this is going to take me on? Maybe I'm going to Chas v'Shalom be the next Rosh Yeshiva who had an illustrious career in law, and all of a sudden I'm going to veer off and I'm going to become a merits kollel guy.

3:45 At some point, Rabbi Isaacson brought his babies into the beis medrash. That was his tefufa in life. He also did that, and then he became a Shalom Eshiv, and then he became a Rabbi, and now he's Rosh Yeshiva. Rebbe, I gotta make sure that even though I'm in yeshiva and I'm studying, because even though I'm on a journey for truth, and that journey for truth officially has no destination, but really, really, if we're being honest with ourselves, I have to make sure that I don't take this too far. I have to be careful not to get too much into this Judaism thing, because then it's going to interrupt my life. This is the context of our conversation. Of course, Matas didn't say anything like that. That's not matz on any level, but I'm dramatizing it for the sake of the rest of us. That if we're being honest, we are thinking about that. There's a cap.

4:33 There's a cap on our growth. And I don't want to be that guy. I want to be real. I want to be authentic. I want to see where this is going to go. So how do I deal with these things? So I heard a very beautiful var that I want to share with you But that var is not the var that I want to share tonight. It's really just a stepping stone to the var that I really want to share with you. In this week's parsha, we know that Avram Avinu has just undergone his Bris Mila. And we all know the story that Hakadosh Baruch Hu made sure that no guests were coming, and Avram Avinu was mitzayir because Avram Avinu is the paradigmatic ish Chesed. And the Torah tells us Vayisa'inaf, and he lifted his eyes. Vayar v'hi ne'ishlosh anoshim nitzavim elav. Avram Avinu lifted his eyes, and behold, there were three men standing before him.

5:20 And Rashi says, "Who are these three men? So we know that they're not men at all, but they're malachim." What does Rashi say? Quoting the Medrash 'Echad levaser as Sarah, ve'Echad la'afach as Stom, ve'Echad lerapos as Avram.' Three malachim for three different jobs. One malach came to bring the good news to Sarah Imenu that she would give birth to Yitzchak. Another malach came to overturn Stom, and one came to heal Avram Avinu. Why does it require three? Sheein malach echad oses shtei shlichos. The Gemara, the Medrash says, because one malach cannot perform two missions. So each malach is needed for a separate mission. One is to tell Sarah the good news, another is to destroy Stom, and finally, the last malach is there to heal Avram Avinu. Very nice. It answers a technical question of why we needed three people. But I heard an amazing vort. B'shem the Mir Rosh Yeshivah of Shmuel Berbam Zeicher Tzadik Lavrach.

6:24 What's the yisaid? What's the yisaid that a malach can't do two things? How come a malach can't do two things? So Shmuel Berbam said an amazing vort. Listen to this vort. To be a malach is to reveal Hashem's light. That's what a malach is. A malach is a revelation of Hashem's light. A malach is deeply connected to Hashem. Says our Shmuel Berenbaum When you're deeply connected to Hashem You only do one thing at a time. You have focus. You have dedication. You're single-minded. You're able to put all of your energy into your shlichus, into your mission, because you're not thinking about anything else. A bentoyer when he comes to yeshiva has to be willing to say, right now, I'm right here and I'm nowhere else. I don't agree with the story that I'm about to tell you, but it's a good story. Even though I'm telling you right now, I don't agree with it.

7:21 It was a certain Rebbe. And a boy came to him. He said, 'Rebbe, my parents are making me come back. They want me to leave yeshiva. They're saying it's time.' And this Rebbe turned to this boy and he said, "What?" Your parents are telling you to come home from yeshiva? How could that be? He goes, 'Rebbe, my parents want me to come home. They say I've done enough in yeshiva. It's time to get my life started.' He looks at the boy perplexed and he goes, 'Your life.' Don't you remember when you were in JFK? Don't you remember when you were in the airport on the way to yeshiva? Don't you remember that was your funeral? So the boy looked at the rebbe and said, 'What are you talking about?' So the rebbe said, "Ein li mud Torah elamisha mei misatzmo alav." There's no learning Torah unless you're willing to kill yourself over it. You tell your parents, 'Come home! I'm dead. How could I possibly come home?' Now I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that Ashkaf. I don't think it's the right thing to say.

8:22 I agree with the side of the story. A person comes to yeshiva; he has to clear out his mind. But Rebbe, in six months from now, my plan is to do this. Eight months from now, nine months from now, guys are already talking to me. Where am I going to spend my summer? Am I going to be in Kayli? Am I going to be in Hask? Am I going to be in Kobe Kolol? Am I going to be in Amcha? But Taich Amcha ni Yoshevus. Where am I going to be this summer? This week's Hav Torah. What are you talking about? The summer? Rebbe, you don't understand. I need to give them their answers this minute. You don't need to give them their answers this minute. The answer will be in a month from now. It's okay. Right now, where can you be? You have to be where you are. You can't be in a million different places. Otherwise, you're nowhere.

9:05 That's the machla of the phones. The biggest issue with the phones is not the inappropriate things. The biggest issue with the phone is not even the time wasting. The biggest issue with the phone is nobody knows how to be present anymore. You walk into a room, guys are talking to each other. Nobody's looking at each other. Everybody's strolling. Everybody's looking. Guys interrupt each other in the middle of a conversation. I just got to show you this. You don't have to show him. You don't have to be on your phone. You could just listen to the person in front of you. The problem when a person has no yeshayit of presence in their life, they have no foundation of this is where I am. So then they have no capacity to stay in yeshiva.

9:41 Because their head's already in business. It's an amazing thing because today with all technology, you guys are like little stockbrokers. Guys walking around, I traded my crypto for my Bitcoin. I traded my Bitcoin for real estate. I have a guy who told me, Rebbe, I have to tell you about my portfolio, how my portfolio did. I'm like, you're 18 years old. What do you have a portfolio for? Go play fantasy football like a normal kid. You have a portfolio? He's like, yeah, I made 50 grand last year. You made 50 grand last year. I want to invest with you. He's probably a little Madoff, but like you know the. Rebbe, but I'm going to do ben astarim. You're going to see ben astarim. If I'm doing this, it's not going to interrupt my seder. Because if Bein Ashtarim, that's where your head is at. You're not going to be able to focus in Seder. A Malach is able to have single-minded focus. The Malach that came to heal Avram Avinu couldn't heal Avram Avinu if he's thinking about overturning stone. The Malach that came to give Besura's tovus to Sarai Ymeinu to say you're going to have a child couldn't do that if they were busy worrying that Avram Avinu is going to be healed.

10:45 A Yid has to have the ability to be in one place at one time. You have to kill yourself. You have to be willing to sacrifice. You have to be willing to say that area of my life is not for now. I'm in yeshiva. And there's a very beautiful message there. But that's not the Torah that I want to share with you. I want to share with you an even deeper Torah that I don't think you can appreciate unless you heard the first one. By the Akeda It says, "Vayikach Avram." It's atzei ha'olah. Vayasem al Yitzchak benov. Vayikach biyado es aish ve'samachelas. Vayelchu shnei yachtov. And Avram took the wood for the carbon, and he placed it on Yitzchak his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife, and the two of them went together. What does Rashi tell us? Listen to this Rashi.

11:37 Avram shahoyyoydei shahoyyoydeya shaholech lishkor es bnoh haoyolech beratzam v'simcha b'yitz ki Yitzchak shaloha yamargish bedaver. What was so great about the simcha of Avram Avinu that he was so besimcha? It was exactly like Yitzchak. Yitzchak didn't know that he was going to be slaughtered. Avram Avinu knew. So the simcha of Avram Avinu was the same level of Yitzchak, who had no idea that he was about to be killed. There is an obvious question: Why does the Torah need to tell us what Avram Avinu went wholeheartedly to shecht Yitzchak? Doesn't say that. It Dafka has to say he went wholeheartedly, like Yitzchak, who didn't know what was going to happen. And then right afterwards we see the same thing. Avram responds to Yitzchak, who wants to know where the carbon is. Again, the same concept. Avraham Avinu says, "You'll see, Hakadosh Baruch Hu will provide to us the korban." They went together. Look at Rashi says it's exactly the opposite now.

12:50 Rashi says, "Yirloase" Kloimar. It means to say, Yirav yivcharlo That he will see, Hashem will see, and select for Himself the lamb. Vehem einseh And if there is no lamb, laoila bani, then my son will be the offering. Then you Yitzchak will be the offering. Va'afal pisha havin Yitzchak, and even now Yitzchak understood shehu harlech lishachet. Then now Yitzchak Avinu is going to be killed. Va'yel chusnei am yachtav b'leiv shave. They went together with an equal heart. Yitzchak knows that he's about to be slaughtered, and how does he go to the slaughter? B'leiv shave. How come it doesn't say that he went wholeheartedly? Same exact question. What does it say? He went with an equal heart. Equal heart to who? Equal heart to Avram Avinu So we have the same kasha in both Rashi's. The first Rashi, Vayachus Ne'em Ya'atov, that Avram goes like Yitzchak. At that point, Yitzchak didn't know; he's totally besimcha. So is Avram. The second Rashi, now Yitzchak knows, and how does he go?

13:55 Exactly like Avram Avinu, b'leiv shavu. They're on the same level, totally joyous. Why doesn't it just tell us that they went wholeheartedly? It's a deep Torah. The first tirah of the night is the tirah of Shmuel Berbam stunning tirah. You are where you are. Don't be anywhere else. Just focus. But there's an even deeper tirah. A yid knows how to take two things and make them one. A yid knows that the physical and the spiritual can be merged because they're of the same essence. Because the physical material world is also rooted in the divine essence. Where a yid sees, the world sees two things; a yid sees unity. That's why Achdus is the most important thing in Klal Yisrael Because when we see each other And by the way, this is a direct muster for us in yeshiva.

14:50 The guy's walking around yeshiva, he sits at the same table every single day, and he's not hanging out with other chavrusa, he's not branching out. If shin and aleph and shin and bet don't come together, if we're just a bunch of disjointed souls that happen to learn in the same basic medrash, that happen to come to the same mishmar, then we're missing the point of a yeshiva. A yeshiva is a place where two things become one, where people who have nothing to do with each other become one, one soul, the soul of the world. That's what the job of a Jew is to see: to see beyond the physicality, beyond the material nature of the world, to see that physical and spiritual are not opposites; they're the same essence. And it has to be that way in our lives also. You're not a doctor. You're not a lawyer. You're not a businessman. You're a Jew, and a Jew knows that to be a businessman and to be a lawyer are just rooms in one house. David Amelech says, "Achasha alti mees Hashem."

15:43 What's the bakasha? What's the bakasha of David Amelech? He says, "I want to live a life of unity." We all wear different hats. Bezus Hashem, and not that long from now, the guys in this yeshiva will be fathers, will be husbands, will have jobs. You're going to wear a lot of different hats. But it's always going to be you. There's always going to be a matz who's under all those things. I'm a doctor, and I'm a husband, and I'm a father. I'm matz. But I wear different hats And it's all one because it's all me. They're all just different expressions of me. We're so afraid that my plans in yeshiva are going to interrupt my plans for life. If you think your plans in yeshiva are going to interrupt your plans for life, it means you don't understand what it means to be in a yeshiva.

16:34 A yeshiva is a place where you come in contact with the unity of the world, where you come in contact with Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Once you're connected to the Eibushter, it's just different rooms in the same house. It's not a dual life. It's a broad life, and it encompasses all the different rooms in my house. So to be a bentayra, don't be scared. Don't be scared. But Rebbe, what's going to be with me? I've got plans. I've got to get wealthy. I've got to raise my kids in the Jewish community. I've got to make three hundred fifty thousand dollars a year to be poor. Don't let yeshiva get in the way of my growth. I have big things in my life. Guys are running. They're always running. When am I leaving? What's my destination? Where am I going? These are not two things. These are one thing. A guy who knows that I'm living one life. It's okay if there's a lot of different facets.

17:24 We're large. We contain multitudes. And by the way, that goes. That's true even for the imperfections in your life. I see guys in yeshiva. They're intense. They don't know how to be imperfect. They don't know how to make a mistake. It's okay. It's not a roller coaster. It's just a mistake. That's all it is. If you're a yid, then you know that your mistakes are also part of your avodas Hashem. That there's something called tshuva. Vayelchusnei am yachta. Listen to the Torah over here. The Torah is telling us an unbelievable message. Avram Avinu didn't just go wholeheartedly. He went wholeheartedly with Yitzchak. The same way Yitzchak was, he was attuned to him. He was in sync with him. So Yitzchak was joyful. He didn't know that he was the karpun. Avram Avinu wasn't just wholehearted. He was wholehearted the way Yitzchak was. That's a deeper Torah. Avram Avinu, because he was Avram Avinu, he was large. He could contain a lot of things. He said, Yitzchak, I am where you are. And then because of that, what's the next thing we learn? Now Yitzchak finds out I'm the carbon And he's able to be with Avram Avinu. It's not just that Yitzchak goes wholeheartedly; he goes wholeheartedly with Avram Avinu. That's what it means to be a yid.

18:37 To be a yid, when the entire world sees double, we see one. We're the big stage right now in the year. It's called the second quarter. There's four quarters to this year. This year is a basketball game, and there are four quarters to it. And in any basketball game, it doesn't matter who wins in the first quarter. The first quarter is just the two teams feeling each other out. That's the beginning of the year through Sukkot. Now we're in the second quarter. The second quarter is from now till Hanukkah. The third quarter is from Hanukkah to Purim. Fourth quarter is post Pesach. In the second quarter, what's the avoda? We all know that most NBA games are won in the third quarter. What's the avoda of the second quarter? The avoda of the second quarter is to start to put your foot on the gas.

19:30 The avoda of the second quarter is okay. Where am I headed? I want to go into the half and be up. When it comes after Chanukah break and it's January and we're in Hasmodu week and we're pushing ourselves. I want to be oriented for greatness. I don't want to just be starting in the third quarter. I want my muscles already to be tired. I want to already be in flow. I want to be in sync. The avoda of the second quarter is to take us with the energy into the third quarter. It's very hard to make a comeback in the fourth. Very hard to make a comeback in the fourth quarter. Can be done, of course. A Jew can always come back. But by the time post Pesach comes, we want it to be a blowout. We want to make sure that we've accomplished everything that we set out to accomplish. There are two types of yeshivas.

20:17 There's a yeshiva that makes it easy in September. It's an easy adjustment. You've heard the presentations of yeshivas. They say you get into it slowly but surely. You do half an hour, then you do 45 minutes, then you do an hour, then you do an hour and a half, two hours. Before you know it, you're learning five, six, seven hours a day. You know what the problem with that approach is? Very often, not always. But very often, it's not an ambitious approach. And you have a guy who's sitting in a yeshiva in June, and he's looking at his year. I wish I would have accomplished more. I had these dreams and aspirations, but I didn't put my foot on the gas. I didn't challenge myself or push myself. I was just good enough. I was okay. And nobody could look and say I had a bad year because officially I checked all the boxes. I came to davening. I came to seder. I came to mishmar. I went to siyah. I didn't get called in by Rav Josh. It was a pretty good year. I stayed under the radar. I didn't get in any trouble. It's a pretty good year.

21:18 The problem is in June you're miserable. In June you feel like chaval. And then there are other places that are uncomfortable. And it's good that it's uncomfortable. Because discomfort means that you're growing. Nobody ever grew from a place of comfort. You go to the gym. You challenge yourself. Matas taught me something. He said it's not about going to the gym to lift the weights. It's about going to the gym to challenge yourself and become a better person every day. And if it's true in the gym, then it's true in the beis medrash. It's about challenging yourself. But you can't challenge yourself in the beis medrash unless you have one thing figured out. Number one, right here, right now, I'm in the beis medrash. It's not June. It's November. It's the middle of November, boys. Do you remember that you just got here? Do you remember that you just walked off the plane?

22:11 Do you remember how fast it went? You'll blink and it will be Purim. You'll blink and it will be Shavuos. This year flies by. The only way to make every day count is to be present in every day. But you can't make every day count and be present in every day if you're terrified that this is going to get in the way of the future. Being a yid makes you a better husband, and if you're not a better husband, then you miss the point of being a yid. Being a yid makes you a better friend. And if you're not a better friend at the end of this year, then you miss the point of being a yid. That's why I get so frustrated if guys are just sitting in the same seats over and over again next to the same chaver and not reaching out. That guy who's not reaching out might be in the basement twelve hours a day, but he hasn't learned a word.

22:59 He's learned Gemara, but he hasn't learned Hashem's Torah because he has no idea how to reach across the aisle and become friends with somebody he hasn't been because he's not present in his life. However, now is the time to step on the gas. There was a guy in yeshiva. Made a comment not to me to a different Rebbe. He said, "Why in Mevaseret? Are the rebbeim always hating on the guys who are like pushing themselves to be in the masech midrash at eleven thirty" Twelve o'clock at night? Why are they always saying it's fake? Because now guys are saying, fine, if it's fake, then I'm not going to the masech midrash at eleven thirty, twelve o'clock at night. However, be in the masech midrash as late as you want. If you get up for shacharis, you can have a meaningful davening. Nobody cares how late you're in the masech midrash in this yeshiva. You want to be in the masech midrash late? Kolakavod to you. You have things you want to learn. Good for you. Use every minute. The reason we keep pushing the authenticity button is because it's the only way to truly be a yid. If you're connected to your soul, if you're connected to your authentic person, then you're a big circle and you contain a lot of people. You, as Hashem, contain your wife and your kids and your community. You'll be a leader in your community.

24:03 A lot of people are not connected to their soul. So they're just users. They're consumers of the Jewish community, but they don't see it as their personal responsibility. A person who's connected to their soul is connected to Hashem. He says, 'I was born for a shlichus. My shlichus is to bring people closer to Hashem.' So I'm not going to sit at the same table in the chadar okel, and I'm not just going to talk to the guys in my shir, the guys in my dorm. Somebody said this week. I think it was Judd. I was so proud to hear him say it. He said, "This yeshiva, we have great guys." I said we do. We mamish have great guys in this yeshiva. If I'm being honest with you guys, we have great guys. But individuals Individual great guys. How many guys know each other's greatness?

24:56 How many guys are connected to their own soul so they're connected to everybody's soul? That's our avodah. We can't just be a group of individuals. Mevaseret will fail if that's what we are. If at the end of this year you're a guy who checked the boxes and you came to seder and you knew the guys in your shir, but you didn't reach out to Yanim who was having a hard time. If a guy is sick in the dorms and you didn't think to yourself, maybe I should bring him breakfast, maybe I should bring him lunch, maybe I should bring him dinner, And yes, I'm going to say what I'm about to say, and maybe some people aren't going to like it, but it's the frum thing to do. Maybe I'm going to close my Gemara in the middle of seder just to check on him and see how he's feeling. My Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Bender Shlita, he taught us: a Jew who doesn't know how to close his Gemara to help another Jew, then even when his Gemara is open, it's really closed. And a Jew who knows how to close his Gemara to help another Jew, then even when his Gemara is closed, it's really open. Chevra, are we one?

25:55 Are we vayelchu shnei am yachdav? Our avoda in this coming zman. Don't be afraid of the future. Right now we're in the present, and don't be afraid of the future because we're big enough to take two things and make them one. If we do it here in yeshiva now with each other, Beis Hashem will be zayecha to a tremendous amount of atzlach in the future. Amen.