Purim: Discovering The Inner Goodness Of Every Jew

1:49 The simple answer is to tell you that since the Jews were being threatened by this person Achashveros, you have to know that he was the king over all of them. It's like a big deal. So I think that's what happened. But yeah, it's like if somebody comes along and they say, 'I'm going to kill all the Jews.' So you have to make sure that you're not just making assumptions about what people are doing. If the president of the United States says, 'I'm going to kill the Jews,' that's a big deal, because that's over all of America. But if the king over the entire world comes and says, 'I'm going to kill every single Jew,' that's obviously a very big deal. Now you might ask yourself, is it really a big deal? A king when he lives in one section of the world, especially back then, how's he going to communicate his message to everybody else? Is he really such an effective king?

2:46 The answer is he was molech meho duvad kush, meaning he had real control. So you have to know how dangerous it was. But for us, people who try to seek the inner message in Judaism, that's not a meaningful enough answer. Maybe it's true, but it doesn't give us the feeling that the entire story is embedded in that first pasuk in the Megillah. So our first question for tonight is, why didn't the story of the Megillah start off with something more powerful. Start off with Mordechai. Why does it have to start off with Achashverosh was the king over the entire world? That's it's nice, but that's the story of Purim. That's question number one. Question number two. There's a famous Gemara, Gemara in Megillah. Where was Hodu and where was Kush? So the Gemara says it's a machlokas. Either Hodu and Kush.

3:44 Were right next to each other, they were literally two countries that were right next to each other, and if they were two countries that were right next to each other, then what's the implication of the Gemara? The implication of I'm sorry, the implication of the pasuk, the implication of the pasuk is that Achashverosh was Molech Mehodu vaKush means just like he was living in those countries, like Hodu and Kush were right next to each other, so too he was Molech over the entire world. Or the Gemara says no. Maybe Hodu and Kush were actually on opposite ends of the globe, and when it says he was Molech Me Hodu V'Ad Kush, it means from one end of the globe all the way to the other end of the globe. So it's a machlokas where Hodu and Kush was. I have two questions on this Gemara. Question number one: Why not just look at a map? What's imagine if I told you this machlokas where Sharfman's is? Is it here or in Sanhedrin or Chav? What would you say? It's not a machlokas.

4:42 Somebody who doesn't know says that it's in Sanhedrin or Chavetz. Somebody who does know says it's in Ramat Shkol. Beside there, so you could say about Sharfman's, you could say because it's on the border. So we understand this is why I chose it. We understand that it could be both. But if Hodu and Kosh were on opposite ends of the world, could there really be a machlokus about that? It's either going to be close to each other or it's going to be very far apart. So why not just look at a map?

5:12 That's number one. Question number two: Why does it matter? Hamolech meho duvay kush, hoduin kush were some place in the world. Obviously, he was molech from one end of it to the other. Why does the Gemara have to get so detail oriented? Was it here? Was it there? What does it matter to us? He was molech on the entire world. He was like, you know, I don't know. He was like, 'Oh my God, that's a lot.' I think it's because he was trying to be funny and then got lost. But I mean, if you're going to say something about the whole world, you can't just pick a random spot. You have to be precise. So you look at it circular. He was Melech Me Hodu, all the way around the globe to Kush, or you look at it like this: He was Melech Me Hodu, right? The Ad Kush and back again. So what does it matter? It doesn't matter. That's question number two. Question number three, final question. The Gemara tells an unbelievably fascinating story that one day Rava Kiva was giving shear.

6:11 And he saw that the talmidim in She'er were starting to fall asleep. Maybe it was after a lat. Maybe they didn't have an incentive anymore to stay awake and work hard in She'er, let alone to come. I'm not saying. I'm just saying. If you know what I'm saying, right? So Yerukivas he wanted to wake up his talmidim. Wanted to get them interested. Like maybe I'm feeling right now. He wanted to get them interested, right? So he said, "I want to tell you something amazing. I want to tell you something unbelievable. Esther Amalco ruled over 127 provinces. Why? Because Sari Imenu lived for 127 years. Those third grade teachers that they give you like gematrias up the wazoo. Like you're trying to figure out, what's the connection between this and that."

7:03 So I have a lot of questions on this tomorrow. Famous question. First of all, what is it? Was that? Were they the beautiful women like one, two, and three? They were very beautiful. Like the Gemara says, three beautiful women. The Gemara says more than that. But yes, they were considered the most beautiful women. But still, fine. So that's not fair. Like, even if that's even if you're right that they were both beautiful women, she lived a hundred and twenty seven years, so she ruled over a hundred and twenty seven countries, like. My in Shmita it's El Arsina. Like what? What's one got to do with the Asher? As my daughters, my daughters are growing up in Israel. So what they say, they call they say Maqesha, Maqesha. I don't know if you ever hear Israeli Maqesha, but Maqesha. I'm like, what was that? Rabbi Bernstein, Maqesha. I always know when I say something like my daughters know, like the Abba Maqesha. What are you even saying? Maqesha. What's what's Rabbi Kiva saying? He's saying Esther and Malka lived a hundred and twenty, had ruled over a hundred and twenty-seven provinces because Sarimenu.

7:57 She lived for 127 years. What in the world are we talking about here? And not only that. What does it mean that Rav Akiva's talmidim were falling asleep? First of all, if Rav Akiva's talmidim were falling asleep, he should have told them to leave the she'er. Let us sit in she'er in a disrespectful fashion, falling asleep. You have to be respectful of the rebbe. So Rav Akiva sees that his talmidim are falling asleep, so he decides to wake them up. But if you're going to wake up your talmidim, you would imagine a fire and brimstone, mussar shmus.

8:27 One of your rabbis gets up and he starts to pound the table and he starts to roast the girls and he starts to say, 'Girls, you're wasting your year. We're right before Purim, right? Whoever the rabbi is, I'm not saying, right? And he gets up and he tells you, 'You can't be like this. You have to be like that in your life. You have to live in this community, right?' And he gives you a fire and brimstone mussar shmooz. And don't you understand that coming to shiur late and not paying attention and falling asleep in shiur? Don't you understand how this is going to impact your shadchan? Don't you understand how this is going to impact your children? Your entire life is going to bitch just because you fell asleep in one shiur. That would have been a fire and brimstone mussar shmooz. Relax, no anxiety. Comes along to the Kiva and he says, 'I want to tell you something. This is going to be the greatest Tzairis in the world. This I'm just going to wake you up.' And that's the message he gives. That does not seem to be the most inspirational message. That seems to be a message of a cute thing. This it was 127 over here. It's 127 over there. The Kiva was a very deep person. The Talmidim were very deep people.

9:23 Obviously, there's a hidden message here, something for us, something that we can learn from. Ezer Hashem, help us. I want to share with you tonight a really beautiful idea, girls. What do we mean when we say God is infinite? We say God is infinite, so people think God is the biggest. That's the first step. How big is God? God is infinite. He's the biggest. Bigger than size. So what does that mean? Bigger than size means he can't be contained within this world. God cannot be measured. He's beyond the realm of time and space. What's the danger in thinking that way? It's certainly true, but what's the danger in thinking that way? You could make God so big, and He is in fact incomprehensible. You could make God so big.

10:22 That he becomes irrelevant to your life. In other words, if God is infinite, that means He's beyond the finite. So what's the feeling we have? Doesn't really matter. Nothing I do really matters. And if nothing I do really matters, so then what am I doing? It's like that story of the Talmud Rebbe. I don't know if I told you girls the story of the Talmud Rebbe, but even if I told it, it bears repeating. The Talmud Rebbe was lighting the menorah and thousands of Hasidim used to come from all over the place to see the Talmud Rebbe light the menorah. We light menorah. It's coming to light the menorah, and so all the Hasidim come. The Talmud Rebbe comes out. He's sitting in front of the menorah.

11:14 And everyone's waiting for the usual hizayrus, the shuffling, the amazing lighting of the minaret that they're waiting to see. And Talmud Rebbe is not lighting, and everyone's like, "What's going on?" One minute goes by, the next minute goes by, the next minute goes by, and after twenty minutes, I see them starting to get restless. Like, "What's going on with the Rebbe over here? Just standing there." And then the Rebbe turns around, and he calls out. Is Shmuel the Haycha here? Haycha means the tall one. Apparently, in that town, there was Shmuel the tall one and Shmuel the short one. Shmuel the Haycha was the tall one. So Shmuel the Haycha says, "Yes, Rebbe, I'm here." The tall Rebbe says, "Quick, come, Shmuel the Haycha, please come." So of course, all Chassidim parted ways. Kriyas Yamsu. Shmuel the Haycha walks through, and he comes to the Rebbe, and in front of everybody, the Rebbe turns to Shmuel the Haycha, and he goes, "Shmuel, do you love your wife?"

12:11 This is not like today. This is not like today when people say such things in public. Back then, people were tzanuah. They didn't say these things in public. It's not like today where you have on the jumbotron in Yankee Stadium, "Will you please marry me?" and you have twenty thousand Yankee fans screaming, "Say no! Say no!" This was a time of like tsneis. But if the Rebbe asks you if you love your wife, what do you say? So he said, "of course I love my wife." So the Rebbe's in there. He goes, "Good. Good shmuel, tell me." Do you ever tell your wife a secret? Rabbi. I tell my wife a secret. All the Hasidim are sitting there going, what in the world is going on? Just remove any sentence that trails off or ends with a function word. If you tell your wife a secret, tell me. How do you do it? You're so tall. Shmuel the Haicha must have been like six foot seven. And he was probably married to a Jewish girl, which means she was like five foot nothing. That's rude. It's true.

13:14 So he said, "How do you tell your wife a secret?" How do I tell my wife? If you're so tall and she's so short, how do you tell your wife a secret? He goes, "Rabbi, bend down." But is that it? Does she do anything? So Shmuel goes, "Yes, Rabbi, she stands on her tiptoes so that she can come up to me." She says, "Oh, unbelievable!" And the Rebbe starts dancing and singing, and he lights the menorah with such tremendous slav, with such tremendous passion, and all the Hasidim were watching. They said this was the greatest lighting of the menorah ever. Of course, one of the older Hasidim went over to the Rebbe afterwards to ask him what happened, because of course it wouldn't be a good story if we didn't have one of the older Hasidim that goes over afterwards to find out what happened. So he said, "Rebbe, what was that?" So the Rebbe said, "I was sitting here, and I'm about to light the menorah. It's a chenarbulah menorah."

14:09 And it's like a big deal, and every year thousands of people come to see me light it. And I ask myself just a simple question: Does the Rebbeinu Sholm really care if I light menorah? Like, does it really matter? The Rebbeinu Sholm is infinite. I'm finite. I'm just a little guy with a little menorah, a little nair. Does the Rebbeinu Sholm really care? And I started to think to myself, No, the Rebbeinu Sholm does not care. And I said, Wait a second. If the Rebbeinu Sholm doesn't care about my menorah, then why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu care about my tefillin? The Rebbeinu Sholm must not care about my tefillin. If the Rebbeinu Sholm doesn't care about my tefillin, maybe the Rebbeinu Sholm doesn't even care if I keep kosher. If the Rebbeinu Shlom doesn't care if I keep kosher, maybe the Rebbeinu Shlom doesn't care if I keep Shabbos. He said I'm sitting there in front of thousands of chassidim and I'm mamish headed off the derech because in my head I'm like, what am I doing? And then I said, wait a second, Shmuel the Haicha. Shmuel is so big, and his wife is so small, and because he loves her, he probably wants to tell her a secret. So he has to bend down. And the Rebbeinu Shlom also, he comes down to us. We have to just stand on our teppitos.

15:07 But the Rebbeinu Shalom, because he's so big, he comes all the way down to us so that he can hear the secret. The danger of talking about the infinity of Hakadosh Baruch Hu is that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is so big, so removed from our lives, so removed from this world that a person could think to themselves, "I'm mamish, don't matter," and that's a very scary thing. And I think maybe even for us in this room right now, maybe we don't even realize how scary it actually is. Maybe it's something we've thought of before in our lives, but it never really occurred to us, or maybe it does occur to us, but maybe not in this way. That when we ask ourselves, "Do my mitzvos and my averos really matter?" What we're really asking is, "If Hakadosh Baruch Hu is infinite, then why does it matter?" You understand? That's what we're asking ourselves. A girl wakes up in the morning and she says, "Why should I daven?"

16:04 What is she saying? She's not really saying I'm lazy. That's not really what she was saying. Because if she knew the value of her davening, she wouldn't be lazy. What is she saying when she wakes up in the morning? She's saying. Doesn't see the value. Does it really? Does a kolos shabbos really care? Does a kolos shabbos really care if I daven or not? It doesn't seem to impact my life one way or another. So does the rebbeinu sholem really care if I daven or not? And the rabbi shalom doesn't care about my davening. Then maybe the rabbi shalom doesn't care about my tsnius. And the rabbi shalom doesn't care about my tsnius. Maybe the rabbi shalom doesn't care if I'm keep kosher. And the rabbi shalom doesn't care about kosher. Maybe it certainly doesn't care about tashrash mishpach. A person can manage be in a place where they're feeling so low relative to atcholus baruch's infinity that they're headed straight off the derech. And by the way, this is the question when you talk to kids when they're sixteen years old and you ask them like, "What's going on in your yiddishkeit?" You know what they say? None of it matters.

16:54 None of it matters. They'll couch it in words that are comfortable for sixteen-year-olds. They'll say, "Honestly, you think God cares about this?" They'll say it like that, but what do they really mean? They really mean to ask a very deep philosophical question. Does it really matter? And since it doesn't really matter, I have this thing on the other end that makes me feel really good, and I have my Yiddish guy that makes me feel really bad. So why would I choose my Yiddish guy? This thing makes me feel good. This thing makes me feel bad. This thing doesn't seem to matter. So why should I do it? It's a big question. It's a very big question. What's the answer to this question? The answer to this question is as follows: Infinite means unlimited, and unlimited doesn't mean that Hakadosh Baruch Hu exists only beyond this world. It also means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu exists within this world. If something is truly infinite, that means it's not just in the highest places.

17:49 It's in the lowest places. If something is truly infinite, it means that the details and the big picture things are equally valuable. In other words, if a person is the CEO of a company, and he's in charge of the big picture ideas, and he's sitting in the big board meetings and he's making the big decisions, what matters to the CEO because he's in charge of everything. It matters to him what's going on in the stockrooms. It matters to him what the employees are doing. It matters to him the cleanliness of the store. It matters to him the prices. He may not be doing all those things, but because everything that he's doing is to sell that product, then every little thing about the product matters. And if Chassav Shalom one thing goes wrong with the product, what does the CEO say? What happened? Who was in charge of this? Why does it? Why do you care? You're in charge of the big picture. You're sitting in boardrooms. Because if you're sitting in boardrooms, why are you sitting in boardrooms?

18:41 Because you want every little detail to be worked out perfectly. Every detail matters. So imagine for a second you are running Apple. You're the CEO of Apple, and you have the new microchip processor. It's the smallest, lightest microchip processor ever, and it's faster than any microchip processor we ever had. So now when you turn on your iPhones, everything is going to be speedy. Everything is going to be the fastest thing in the world. And now a little bit of dust got into the room where they make those microchips, where they make those microprocessors. Tiny little bit of dust, girls. What happens when you have a tiny little bit of dust in such a room? The entire factory has to shut down. Because if even one speck of dust gets onto that microchip, the entire thing is going to be ruined. They make special plants, clean rooms where there's no dust in these rooms whatsoever when they make them. Because even the smallest, most minuscule thing matters. The bigger you are, the more you recognize the infinite value.

19:39 Of every small thing, does that make sense? If you think of infinite, and you think which is correct, that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is beyond the realm of time and space, you are going to make a terrible mistake, because if Hakadosh Baruch Hu is only beyond the realm of time and space, then I don't matter. But if Hakadosh Baruch Hu lives within the world, if He's here, if He's present, of course He's beyond the world. But it's so infinite that He's also within the world. And if Hakadosh Baruch Hu is within the world, then what does that mean? Every single moment, in every single place throughout all of history is infinitely meaningful. Every single little minuscule thing that we do matters infinitely. How do you think that and not go crazy? Because if you're thinking like any small thing you do, Hashem cares and it's not the biggest deal that you did something, then you're gonna be like, I can't do anything. I just have to stand here and stay still.

20:38 See, that's such an angry God you have. You have a very angry God. I bless you that you should have a Jewish God. But if he cares so much about every little thing that you do, how do you give yourself that? Because he's also infinitely compassionate. He's also infinite. I don't draw the line. Exactly. I don't have to draw the line. I don't draw the line. It's not Mordechai Berg's job to draw the line. It's a Kadosh Baruch Hu's job to draw the line, and that's what a Kadosh Baruch Hu tells us. He says, "I'm going to give you activities that are infinitely meaningful." Now, if you're going to sit there and make yourself OCD over every little thing, then that's unhealthy. So the Rebbeinu Shlom tells us, "Call and call." A person has to be healthy. The Rebbeinu Shlom comes along and he tells us that tshuva was created before the creation of the world. So the Rebbeinu Shlom understands that we're going to make mistakes, and he gave us a process to rectify those mistakes. The Rebbeinu Shlom gave us kapara. He comes from Shamayim every Yom Kippur, and he says, "I'm bathing you. I'm cleansing you."

21:33 So Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not this angry God who's sitting there over every little second. Then everyone's going, " you didn't do the right thing. I didn't do the right thing." No, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is infinitely compassionate. He understands us infinitely. Our job, though, is to recognize this is important, and if it's important, we're going to dedicate our lives to it. Understanding that we're going to make mistakes. I'll tell you what. If I haven't answered your question by the end of the year, come back to me. But I think I can guarantee that it'll be answered. Who's closer to God?

22:04 The malachim or us? Malachim. This is a trick question. Can you say closer? Can you say closer when it comes to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? If Hakadosh Baruch Hu is infinite, that means He's in alamas alyoinim and alamas tach taynim. Is there such? That's right. There's no such thing as distance when it comes to God's perspective. Those are physical. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter because remember, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is infinitely present in every single place at every single moment in this world. That includes your entire being. You understand? So while you may feel other than God because you have a physical body, God does. God to God everything is one. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu, from His perspective, everything is equal. So ask yourself this: We just said the Malachim and the human beings, but I give you another category. Who's closer to God, Sadikim or Eishim?

23:02 There's no such thing as closer when it comes to God. Closer to Hashem, what we mean is from our perspective that the things that I'm doing create distance, the feeling of distance in the relationship. For example, I have a father. Baruch Hashem, I'm very blessed to have a father. Everybody in this room, at some point in their life, had a father. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here. So I might do things in my relationship with my father that diminish the relationship. If he tells me to do something and I decide not to do it, that might diminish our relationship. I'll give you a small, foolish example. This past week, I was in America. I was in a place called SAR, and at the same day, I was in YU. And I don't know if you heard, but both SAR and YU have been shut down because of Corona.

24:00 It's on my fam chat. I know it. So all day long, I just got back last night. All day long, and if I say that, guys have been going over to me and saying, "Oh, welcome back, Reb." You giving me their elbow, like I'm bumping elbows with all the guys. Of course, I don't need to be quarantined. Baruch Hashem. I think. Just joking. So my father sent me a WhatsApp and said, "Are you going into yeshiva today?" I said, "Yeah." He goes. Maybe you should go to a doctor. I said, Dad, I need to go to a doctor. I'm not. I'm not in more risk than anybody else. So my father wrote. I know. His. I know. He gets frustrated at me when he writes this. He goes. Let me try this again. Which is my father's way of saying. Listen to me. How can I know her? Almost forty years old. I love my dad. My father, in this case, is overreacting, right?

24:57 Because I was not exposed to anyone, as far as I know, with Corona, and there were plenty of people that were in S I R, and I didn't have any exposure to the people that had it. I'm saying there was no need for me to do it. So I wrote back to my father. I said I understand the protocol. I went through the protocol, and I don't need to go to a doctor. And he blue checked me. Not blue checked. So maybe my father blue checked me because he just got busy, but probably my father was saying, 'Don't be an idiot. Go get a doctor,' and you're not listening to me. Probably was frustrating to him that I wasn't listening to him. So maybe there's a feeling of distance in the relationship. Was there actually distance in the relationship? My father can't be more of a father than he is, and I can't be more of a son. You understand? So there's a feeling of distance in the relationship. It is not actually the same thing as being distant. So when we say 'grow closer to Hashem,' what we mean is.

25:53 Do things and stop doing other things that are getting in the way of your relationship with Hashem. Do healthy, positive things that the Rebbeinu Shol wants from you. But there's no such thing as getting closer to Hashem, and it's so dangerous to say get closer to Hashem because when you say get closer to Hashem, what you really mean is you're far from Hashem. So, I think the point is that you're not close to begin with. So, the idea is that you have to go back to the original question, which is how do we connect to Hashem? And the answer is that we don't need to get closer to Hashem because we're already connected to Hashem. So the problem is not that we're distant from Hashem, but that we're not living up to our potential in that connection. And if I'm far, far from Hashem, that means it's very complicated to come all the way back, right? So now, in that light. The biggest tzaddik in the world and the biggest Russia in the world have an equal relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu from the perspective of the essence. Perhaps from the perspective of the relationship, that tzaddik is doing a better job at being in the relationship. He's a more compliant son. He's a more obedient son. But really, really, you can't be more of a son. You can't be less of a father. Does that make sense?

26:49 So says the Labavisher Rebbe like this. Hodu is from a lashon of hod, hod means illumination, light, splendor. Kush is from a lashon of shachar, black, dark, that which appears to be other than Hakadosh Baruch Hu. So who's hodu and who's kush? Hodu are the tzaddikim, and kushim are the rishonim. So now the Gemara has a machlokus. Where is Hodu and where is Kush? In other words, what's the relationship between those that are Hodu, those that are illuminated, light-oriented people, and those that are Kushim, those that are black, those that are distant from Hakadosh Baruch Hu, so to speak? One man, the Amor on the Gemara, says they're on opposite ends of the world. The tzaddik, the tzaddikim are living on one end of the world. The Rishon are living on the other end of the world. The Mabos, you can't even compare them.

27:46 But we know then the Megillah. Whenever it says Hamolech, who is it referring to? It's referring to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is hidden within the Megillah. Hamaylech, Me Hoduva Adkush means that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is Maylech. He's the King over who? Over everybody, even the Rasha who's behaving in the most despicable way. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is mamish present with him in that moment, and the Tzaddik who's behaving amazingly. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is equally present with them. Hamoylech meho duva adkush. That's one way of approaching it. The difference is what they feel inside. But now comes the second man, the Amr of the Gemara, and the second man, the Amr of the Gemara, says no. Even that's a mistake. Hodo and kush are right next to each other. The problem is that the Rosh is looking at his life and he's looking at the tzaddik and he's saying.

28:36 You're on one end of the world, and I'm on the other. And while that's true, there's an element of truth to it because Russia is not behaving the way the tzaddik is behaving. But from the perspective of God, is it possible to be distant from God? Is it possible even to say that Russia is on the opposite end of the world? You can't even say that, not really in truth, because there's no avera that's bigger than God. So from the perspective of Hakadosh Baruch Hu, every avera that Russia does, it's batul and bevtul k'misha eno. Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu is inside of all of us. He's within all of us. So from the perspective of God, really, Hodu and Kushe, those that are illuminated and those that are Chasam Shalom dark, they're mamish right next to each other. Hamolech may Hodu va'Alkush. With this in mind, we can understand what was Rivkahiva saying to his Talmidim. Girls, when did Rivkahiva's Talmidim live? They lived in the times of the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash. What does it mean they were falling asleep? It means they were in a bad place.

29:32 It means they were looking around in the world and they were saying, 'What's going to be with Yidden? We're about to be thrown out of our country. The Beis Hamikdash is going to be destroyed. What's going to be with Klal Yisrael?' They were feeling a sense of chalishos, a weakness. So Rekiva wants to wake them up. So what does he tell them? 'Sari Yimei who lived for 127 years, girls, what does Chazal say on Sari Yimei who's 127 years? Kulon shovin la'tayva. Every single one of those years was good.' But when you look at Sari Menu's life, it's so hard to understand what that Maimer Chazal means. Sari Menu's life was good. Sari Menu's life was terrible. Girls, do you understand the pain of what it means to not have children? You should never know. There's a woman on my block. Lo Aleinu. So far, Al Pidar Chateva doesn't appear that she can have children. She's a Ganenet.

30:28 She's Ganana. My son goes to Gan by her. She's a Ganana. And by the way, most Gananote they only have hours until one o'clock, because they have to take care of their own children. She has t'har own. She doesn't have any children to take care of. When she bought her house in my neighborhood, the houses are split into four. One person bought three quarters of a house because Gananote they have a lot of money. Who's gonna buy a quarter of a house? A quarter of a house is so small. Someone that doesn't have any children buys a quarter of a house. It's just her and her husband. As far as I know, I don't even think he has a job, because what do you need a job for? You're a ganenet in this country. A ganenet makes decent money. Life in Israel is not so expensive. Socialized medicine. She doesn't have any cost of education. She doesn't have any children. How much is food for two people? How much is clothing for two people? So she has it on her own, and her husband spends a lot of time. Sometimes I go with my son in the morning. Who's downstairs? Her husband.

31:24 And the little boys, they call him the Abba, and it must be so hard for him. He's the Abba of the Gan. It must be so hard for him. And you see this guy, and it is Mamish amazing. She's Mamish amazing, and she's there with the kids. But I can't imagine. I am. I can't even imagine that at three o'clock every day, when the Tzaharon is over, I can't imagine the pain of closing that door when the last child leaves and being empty, and being home alone by yourself. In our neighborhood, in Ramat Echamesh, everything is the parks. I think it's probably like that here in Eshelaim also. Everything is the parks, because we don't have a lot of room in our homes. We don't have backyards for kids to go play in, and we don't have televisions for kids to sit and watch for hours on end. So everybody goes to the park. You go to the park, and what do you do? You sit on the bench and you watch your little kids running around and playing with each other in the park. It's a beautiful thing. Because you know what it's like for those people that maybe they had one or two kids, but now something happened and now they can't have kids, and they're watching one day, after another.

32:23 Their friends come, and women always know about each other. They have like a radar for these things. This one is pregnant, and that one is pregnant, and of course they're so happy for their friends. But what do they feel inside, girls? Why not me? Why not me? It's the biggest pain in the world. And secretly behind closed doors, these women are bawling their eyes out. Sorry, Imenu had a great life. What about all those years until she had Yitzchak? What was it like for Sara Imenu when Hagar was in the house? Could you imagine watching your husband have a child with somebody else? You can't even begin to imagine the pain. And then she finally has a child, and the other child is trying to kill her child. And she goes to her husband and she says, "Could you please get rid of this woman?" And what does he say? I don't really want to get rid of this woman. He has to ask the ravishon. The ravishon says, "Okay, do what your wife says." But even after you die, what is that? What happens? He goes back and he marries Keturah, who's ugger. Imagine the pain of what that must have been like for Sarimeno. She had to be hidden in a box from Paro. Sarimeno had a great life.

33:21 The answer is, girls. Sari Imenu saw the world through the prism of God. Kulan Shavon, the type of means, doesn't mean that she didn't have pain. It means she understood that everything was good, everything was coming from God. And that feeling that Sari Imenu had, it was implanted within us. That spark of goodness is inside of every single Jew. Says the Alter Rebbe. You know what it means to be a Jew in the times of Purim. There were Jews that were off the derech. There were Jews that were assimilated. After all, they were nenim sudasach shverosh. There were Jews that didn't do the right thing. But every single Jew was willing to die al kiddush Hashem. Every single one was willing to die al kiddush Hashem. Kulan shavin l'tayva of sorry imenu became the nitzotz of tov. It became the spark of goodness that was inside of every single Jew. And even that Jew that was so assimilated, so distant from God, he was willing to do amparim. I'm willing to die al kiddush Hashem. They had that spark of goodness inside them.

34:20 Says Rebbe Kivit, as Talmidim, you have chalishos. You're looking at the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, and you're thinking to yourself, "We're going to be so distant from God." You should know that even the Jew who's the most quote-unquote distant from God is willing to die al Kiddush Hashem. Esther Amalco ruled over them. Esther Amalco was the Nitzotz of Saraymenu, and Saraymenu she found the Nitzotz of Tov inside of every moment of her pain, and that Nitzotz of Tov that was inside of every moment of Saraymenu's pain, it's inside of every single one of us. It's the way we see the world. That spark of goodness. And we believe in ourselves even when we're so distant from God. We're not chas v'shalom paralyzed. We're we're not chas v'shalom paralyzed by knowing that God infinitely cares about every moment because we know that God infinitely cares about us. We know that's in there, and that's why we're willing to die al kiddush Hashem. So Rav Kiva comes with the greatest muster of all. He sees his talmidim and they're mamish giving up hope, and he says to them, "Don't ever give up hope on a Jew." Tzaddik v'roshah, they're mamish right next to each other, like Hodu and Kush.

35:15 And that's what it means. The whole story of the Megillah, you could read it in one of two ways. A shrek-like thing is happening to Yidden; they're going to be destroyed, and we have to dramatize it so we can understand how great the Yeshua is. That's one way of reading the Megillah, but that's not the way that we read the Megillah. The way that we read the Megillah is in that very beginning, in that very moment. When Hashveros is coming for us. Every single Jew was infinitely connected, even the biggest Russia. Our fate was never in doubt. Every single one of us was willing to die al Kiddush Hashem. That's how Kadosh we are. That's how connected we are, even when we feel so distant. A lot of girls now, as we head into Purim, as I heard just as I was starting this year, maybe there's a little bit of a chalishos, maybe there's a little bit of a weakness, maybe there's a feeling of like, okay, the year is over. Purim, how much time is left already?

36:13 And then after Pesach, how much time is left already? A person could start to feel discouraged. And I think it's important to recognize that the only way to move forward is to take action. If on a Thursday night I'm not going to class because I'm not going to class anymore because I don't really want to go to class because the only reason I was going to class was for the incentive and now the incentive is over so I'm not going. Could be there's a chalishus. Maybe even we're looking around and feeling the chalishus ourselves. Maybe even though we're here, we're feeling like a sense of like, did we really shteig this year? If you knew deep, deep inside of you that you have that spark of goodness that can never be extinguished. If you knew that the Rebbeinu Shalom can never be close or far because we're infinitely connected, the feeling of awakening in your life, the feeling of like, I'm connected and I can never undo it. Baruch Hashem, such a feeling awakens a Jew to tshuva.

37:04 Such a feeling awakens a Jew to come back to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Such a feeling arouses us to love. It arouses us to passion to serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu with joy, and that's why the end of the story of the Megillah is like who the my sa'ira v'simcha v'sasam v'yikar, the amazing, amazing simcha that we experience at the end of the story. Because what did we discover? Hakadosh Baruch Hu would never, ever, ever let anything happen to us, because He cares about us infinitely. That's the way we have to feel. Maybe you're going to have your readers over Pesach. Maybe you're going to go back to America, and you're going to do things you're not proud of. Maybe, but if you knew that you were infinitely connected, you would understand. I make mistakes. I get back. Relapse recovery. Relapse recovery. I make mistakes. I get back. We should be zeiched as Purim when it comes to hearing the Megillah, and we hear those first words. Should be excited.

37:56 Because you're about to hear the story of every single Jew and the infinite connection that exists inside of every single one of us. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not just beyond this world; He's also within this world. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not just within this world; He's within every single one of us and in every single moment of our lives.