Parshas Vayechi - A Ship Doesn't Go Down Without Its Captain

2:44 I want to tell you a very deep thing. When Klal Yisrael goes down to Mitzrayim, we know that sixty-nine people went down, and one was born along the way. Yochved was born along the way. But the Gemara says it's not necessarily the only opinion. It's not necessarily the only opinion that it was Yochved. Some say that the seventieth person was Yaakov, and the Gemara brings an opinion that the seventieth one that went down was Hakadosh Baruch Hu Himself. What does this mean? That Hakadosh Baruch Hu went with us down to Mitzrayim. There's a big question that we're all faced with. We're faced with this question for the rest of our lives. The question is, how do we survive in galus? We're sent into a galus like Mitzrayim. We're oppressed. Throughout history, there have been people that have come up against us. Even in a galus like today, where Baruch Hashem, Anti-Semitism is not what it once was.

4:04 Is it bad? For sure, it's bad, but it's not what it once was. We don't understand how bad anti-Semitism was two, three hundred years ago. But today there are so many forces that come up against us, so many foreign forces. How do we maintain? How do we stieg? How do we grow? How do we reveal Hashem in galus? That's the question. It's a question that's asked of us every single day. Because when you look at the Jewish home today Jewish home has been infiltrated. It's been infiltrated. I'll tell you, my cousins, both of my parents, I'm very privileged that both of my parents are balei tshuva. They both come from homes that were not observant homes. My cousins, they send out seasons greetings cards. Have you seen these seasons greetings cards? It's a menorah on one side, and it's a Christmas tree on the other. The Jewish home has been attacked. It's been attacked. Baruch Hashem, we're Orthodox, we're observant.

5:01 We're trying our best to get close to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. How many of our siblings have lo alenu left the fold? How many of them are not focused on what God wants from them in this world? It's so difficult for us to maintain our Jewishness in Galus. Now you'll say, Rebbe, We're here in Yerushalayim Yerakodesh. The holy rain is watering our city, making things grow. Even in Yerushalayim Yerakodesh, we have to fight that the city should maintain a stance of Shmiras Shabbos. It's not a simple thing. How do we stage galus? The targets are like this. There are two ways of looking at galus. Gullus is a punishment. That's one way of looking at it. Or gullus is part of the divine plan. What's the difference if you look at it as a punishment or if you look at it as part of the divine plan?

6:06 The truth of the matter is that it does. There are indications in Chazal that gullus is a punishment. But when you start to think deeply about it, it doesn't really make so much sense. I'll give you an example. Let's say you have a child and the child betrays your trust. Let's say the child breaks curfew. Curfew is at 12 o'clock at night. The kid doesn't show up until two o'clock in the morning. It's a broken trust. So what do you do? You take away the child's car. All sorts of punishments. You use the car to stay out late. You didn't call us. I'm taking away your phone. All the different punishments. And you say this is going to last until I see that you're headed in the right direction. Three months minimum. So a month goes by. Have the restrictions been let up after a month? Probably not. But as you're starting to get to the six weeks period, what starts to happen? The parents start to lighten the punishment a little bit.

7:11 How do you know? Because you come home and you tell your mother. I know that I don't have rights to the car. I know I don't have rights to the car. But tonight the school is doing a big chesed thing, and I'd like to be able to go and participate. And there aren't enough seats in the cars to go around, and all the girls are going, and I'd like to go, and I'd even like to help other girls get to this chesed thing. So what does your mother say? But only for this chesed thing. Right? Four weeks ago she would have told you what. Four weeks ago she would have said to you, No, sorry. That's the price you pay. But six weeks in, you could go to the chesed thing. You know that's the chink in the dam, right? You know from there it's going to start to fall apart. Two weeks later, everybody's going to the sleepover. I promise you, nothing bad is going to be happening, right? Can I go? Fine, right? And before long, the punishment is over. It's over before it ended. That's the way it's supposed to go. But what happens if the punishment starts to get more intense as time goes by, not because of anything you did wrong?

8:14 Probably it's not a punishment. The nature of a punishment is that it diminishes over time. The nature of a plan is that it might get more intense over time. So I ask you, girls, our gullis has gotten much more intense, has it not? It's much more intense. So is it a punishment or is it a plan? Even though there are indications that it started as a punishment, it doesn't make sense to say that it's a punishment anymore. What is it now? It's part of a plan. The nature of a punishment is that it diminishes over time, because the average happened in the past. We tend to forget as time moves on. At the very least, it should maintain an equilibrium. But if it's getting harder as time goes on, then what would you say? It must not be a punishment. Maybe it started as a punishment, but now it's a plan. You understand? There's something that must be gained from the fact that the punishment is getting more intense. It must not be a punishment at all.

9:18 There's something that has to be found. So what is it? The Medrash in Parshas Naso says as follows. Why did Hakadosh Baruch Hu create the world? The Medrash says, listen to these words, beautiful words, Nesave Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Lios lo yezbarach dira betachtainim. What does God desire? To have a dwelling place in the world down below. So let's start off. I ask you a simple question. Other marishon is given one mitzvah. What's the mitzvah? Do not eat from the eitz adas. It's the only mitzvah he's given. What do other marishon do? He goes and he eats from the eitz adas. So I want to suggest to you as follows. Other Marishon knew exactly what he was doing. While it was an avera, he did it on purpose because he thought there was something to be gained from doing this avera. Why? Because when Other Marishon looked at the world in Gan Eden, what did he see? He saw that the world was perfectly balanced: fifty percent revealed Hakadosh Baruch Hu, fifty percent concealed Hashem, fifty percent revealed, fifty percent concealed.

10:34 What's the problem with such a world? It's not low enough. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to be revealed in the lowest worlds. If you can see Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world, if you can sense His presence, the world is not low enough. So Ohr Marishon said, this cannot be the world that Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted. It must be that Hashem created an avera, so that I could do the avera. Because in doing the avera, what is Adam Rishon saying? I'm bringing the world lower. So Adam Rishon did the avera on purpose, even though it was an avera. He thought to himself, Hakadosh Baruch Hu created an avera so that I could do the avera. Because if I do the avera, the world is going to go so much lower. And exactly what happened. When he did the avera, he was thrown out of Gan Eden, and malachim were placed by the entrance to Gan Eden to make sure that nobody went into Gan Eden. We went into a lower world.

11:37 Why does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want to be found in a lower world? That's the same question as asking why anybody in this room wants to get married. Hashem wants to go into a lower world. Just like every person in this room wants to be married. Let me explain. When you start to date You're gonna see the following dance. It's a very annoying dance. Everybody does this dance in the beginning of dating. You show up on a first date. He's dressed all nice. You're dressed all nice. You're all well behaved. You even he is smart enough to get something that can be cut with a fork and a knife. No girl wants to see a guy eating chicken wings on a first date. Even he knows that this barely human yeshiva guy that has no etiquette understands. And you, of course, only get like a water. I don't want to spill anything on myself and a salad. As if you've never eaten anything else in your life. You go on this date. What's the tachlis of the date? The tachlis of the date is let's see if we can lie to each other enough so that we actually like each other by the end of the date. That's the tachlis of the date. That's the tachlis. Of course, nobody's lying. Everybody's presenting versions of the truth. What's a version of the truth? This is the best version of myself.

13:06 Do you know what that yeshiva guy does when he goes back to the dorms later that night? He pounds wings. He probably has doggies sitting in his fridge that he bought two weeks ago. That he's been eating for breakfast, slowly but surely. And now he goes and he eats those wings. I remember, I went out on first dates. You should know, I was such a gentleman. I said fork. And now you give me a piece of chicken. There's no way to eat chicken with a fork. And eat chicken is meant to be eaten with your hands. As my wife's grandfather used to say. Kol Yisroel gave us two hands. One for melchiks, one for flaychiks Right? This is. I remember in high school, when I was in tenth grade, they had an open house. You know your high school has an open house. They buffed the floors. I had never seen the floors of our high school get buffed before. All of a sudden, any door that had any cracks in it were fixed. Any windows fixed. I remember I said to my teacher, "This school's a bunch of liars." He said, "Why?" I said, "This school doesn't look like this. You're putting on an act for when the parents come to be able to say,"

14:11 Look what we are, but it's not what you are. You're a bunch of liars. So he said to me, 'No, it's not lying. It's a first date. We're trying to show the best version of ourselves.' I thought about it. I was like, 'You know what? He's right. It's not so bad. That's what a first date is. A first date is a lie. Nobody is who they really are on a first date. Even if you want it to be, it would take so much time to find out who you are. So after the first date, you have the second date, and as I tell the girls, you have to let your crazy out a little bit at a time. So on a second date, a little bit who you are. You're having a conversation, right? A third date, slowly but surely you get more comfortable with each other. But are you really comfortable with each other? Not really, because you're still playing this game a little bit. As the relationship goes on, you become more and more you. But you're not you until you're married. It doesn't mean that we're not being honest. We are. But until you've seen a person as they really are, you don't know who they are. Until you've seen a person under real stress.

15:14 You don't know who they are. You know what's the hardest part about marriage? We want to see the other person. We don't want them to lie to us. We don't want them to put on a show because we know who they are. You're gonna know your husband better than anyone else in the world is gonna know him. The funniest thing is he's gonna think that you don't get it. That you're like he's still hiding. You know him. That's why it drives you crazy when he's hiding. And by the way, vice versa. The husband is gonna know you so well. And that's why it drives him crazy when you don't just say what you're thinking because he knows what you're thinking. That's why all marriages have the following fight: Why don't you just tell me what you mean? I did tell you it. You didn't tell. Just say what you mean. I know what you're thinking. I know you. You don't know what I'm thinking. You're thinking this, okay? But not exactly like that. All fights are the same. Why? Because we want to deeply know each other. I want to tell you when a relationship is really born. A relationship is not born on the first date. That's when you have an intuition. Maybe we can get through this lying together to actually meet each other.

16:19 You want to know when the relationship is born? When you've totally let your guard down. When you're in the lowest place of your relationship, when you're totally comfortable with each other, that's when you're in a relationship. Up until that point, you're not really in a relationship. You're just in a relationship with a version of yourselves. And the lower you go in the marriage, the more authentic the marriage becomes. I'll give you an example. What do you think you look like? You ready for this? When you have a couple of kids And they're all young. The baby got up three times in the middle of the night and puked all over you. You woke up in the morning totally frazzled because you're on three hours of sleep maybe. The four-year-old is whining. The two-year-old got beaten up by the four-year-old. You're about to throw a child out the window. Then you remember that's why they made soragim in Israel. That's why they made those bars. It's not to keep people from breaking in. It's to keep parents from throwing children out, especially when you have in Israel.

17:21 Eight kids in a two-bedroom apartment. Sometimes you just want to chuck one. I got seven others. What's the pshat? The pshat is: You are not beautiful in that moment. You don't wake up with makeup on. I don't know what you think is going to happen. You're going to wake up. You know what you're going to look like? Exactly what you look like when you wake up. That's when the relationship has begun. Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not interested in a version of ourselves. He's interested in us. We spend so much time lying to him that he's trying to wonder from us, 'Where are you?' It doesn't make any sense. I just want you. This is an example that I think is very important to highlight. When does Hakadosh Baruch Hu want to hear from you more? When you're doing great, or when you're really not doing great? He wants to hear from us more when we've fallen and we've done terrible averus. I'll give you an example.

18:32 Imagine the following scenario. Imagine I send my daughters to the mall, and I tell my daughters, "Listen, I'm giving you X amount of money. I want you to use this money to take a cab home. I am not going to be home because I'm teaching in Shartmans. Don't call me. I'm not going to be home. Your mother is not going to be home. She has a wedding she's going to tonight in Ashdod. I don't want you taking a cab. I don't want you taking a bus that late at night." Take a cab. By that time of night, the buses aren't running anymore from the mall. Don't spend this money. Take a cab. What does my daughter say? Smart, fifteen, intelligent, fifteen years old. She's so smart. Fifteen years old. She says, "Abba, of course." But then she walks into, I don't know, Junie's. I don't know what like. I don't know the. I just hear these names. I don't know what any of them mean. What's one of these like stores that they shop in Israel? What was that? Give me a name of a store.

19:33 Bazaar. Was it called Bazaar? Zara's. I know Zara's. I'll tell you how much I know about Zara's. That's the place where you get cheap clothing, but it's like chad paami. You have to throw it away after like three times. That's what they told me. That's Zoya. Oh yeah. You're right. By the way, that's terrible. Ashen hara. This is mamish alzer. But thank you so much. I'll get it right next time. The Zaris is nice. Zoya is gone. That's right. And it's like ten shekel for a thing. I've heard all about this. This is what happens when you're in a home with five daughters. I should never have known these things. Now my daughter sees a dress and she really, really wants it. But it's thirty shekel more than she has. So what does the impulsive 15-year-old do? She reaches into her wallet. She pulls out the extra 30 shekel. And she goes, "I'll figure it out. I'll tramp home. I'll figure. I'll do something." She hands in the extra 30 shekel. She has the dress she wants. She's in the bag. She walks out. They close the door behind her in the store. They lock up for the night. She goes out of the mall and she thinks to herself, "Now what?" It is the first time it ever occurred to her that she actually has to have a plan.

20:40 So she's sitting there. This didn't happen. It's just a muscle. It will happen, but it hasn't happened yet. So she's trying to tramp. Somebody stops. She's not sure. She's uncomfortable. Maybe this is a bad idea. All she has on her is her cell phone. She has a decision to make in this moment. Before we get to what decision she makes, what decision do I want her to make? I want her to call me. I want her to call me because my daughter is in danger right now. She doesn't have a way of getting home. The mall is closed. She shouldn't be out that late at night. Bad things happen when it's late at night. I don't want her to be in the situation she's in. But more than anything, I want her to call me. So when she calls me, what's the conversation going to be like? It's going to go like this: Abba, I made a mistake.

21:26 I spent the thirty shekel that you reminded me time and time again not to spend. I did it. I made the mistake. Abba, I need you to pick me up. What's my response? I'll tell her later she's a doofus. But right now, what's the only thing that's important? The only thing that's important is that I'm there for her where she needs me to be. More than anything, that's what I want. The problem is that kids don't make that call because when they make that call, you know what comes first? Before I'm going to take care of you. You know what comes first? You're a doofus. And when we get the 'you're a doofus' comment first, we stop making the call. In fact, we might choose to take that dangerous shrimp rather than make the call because we're afraid of the negative reaction of our parents. I want to tell you a very powerful story. It's a 100% true story. I'm driving a car with a very chashavirav next to me. You know how sometimes when somebody's talking on the phone, you can hear both sides of the conversation because the volume is up too loud. His volume was up very loud, so I heard both sides of the conversation. His son called

22:36 And his son said, 'Abba, I'm going to be getting suspended from school. I just wanted to let you know first that you're going to be getting a phone call from the Rosh Yeshiva, letting you know that I'm suspended.' I heard this, so I was like, 'I wasn't trying to hear; it's just you hear it.' So I wanted to see what his reaction was going to be. Because without missing a beat, he said like this: 'He goes, "How are you? You okay?"' I was blown away. Cause growing up, I love my parents. But when I made that phone call Just so you know, it wasn't my fault. Everybody was doing it, but I'm getting suspended. What was my dad's reaction? You're an idiot. You get whatever you deserve. And again, my father was a wonderful person. Baruch Hashem, we're extremely close. But I couldn't imagine how this rubbed so fast. He just got it. How are you? The kid, I heard the kid say, honestly, I've been better. He's like, it'll be okay. I was so impressed. Why? Because he created a relationship with his son that when his son was in tachtonim

23:41 When his son needed him, he knew how to reach out. Girls, we make such a mistake. You just did a terrible avera. Wherever you were, it doesn't matter. You found yourself, as Rabbi Cherner used to say, in a funny place doing a funny thing at a funny time. You mamish ended up in a place you didn't even mean to end up. And just the night before you said, "I'm not going to do that avera tomorrow night," and you did it anyway. Who should you be reaching out to more than anybody? The problem is not that we don't think about Hashem when we're doing mitzvos. The problem is that we don't think about Hashem when we've done our averus. When you've done an avera and you feel distant, when you're in gulas and you feel distant, what does that Kadosh Baruch Hu want from you? He wants to hear from you. He is infinitely compassionate. He is not waiting to torture you. He doesn't have it teed up. Baby, I saw that aver last night. I'm gonna knock this kid out of the park. Chatsu shalom.

24:34 Just the opposite. You did something terrible. Don't talk to Berg. Talk to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. He's the one that can help you more than anybody. He wants to hear from you. That's what Gullus is. Gullus is Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, Go lower. When you feel distant, when you feel like you're in a foreign place that you don't belong, that's where you have to find me. The problem is We've gone so low. We feel not like we did an avirah, Just randomly, But we feel like we've betrayed Hashem. The problem with calling the person you betrayed is that they don't want to hear from you. This is how many of my talmidim have expressed it in years past, Rabbi. I know the Rambam says. Somehow they all know this Rambam. I know the Rambam says that it's not a complete tshuva until you get the same test again, and this time you don't do the avera. But Rabbi, I've done tshuva. I've said I'm sorry, and then I did it again.

25:53 At some point, God must not believe me. How could God believe me if you say I'm sorry? Imagine this: your parents say, 'Don't break curfew.' You know, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't break curfew. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't break curfew. I'm not going to do it again. The next night, you do it again. You get called in. Where were you? I know. I'm really sorry. I promise you, this time I'm not going to break curfew. And maybe for a night, you don't break curfew. The next night you break curfew again. What's the pshat? How many times can you say I'm sorry? This is the question we get. We believe that we've become. Here's the word for the night, Irredeemable. It will not be possible for Hashem to take us out of galus because we are too far gone. How many people have ever felt that in their life? I would do tshuva, but it's gone. It's done. It's finished. Did I ever tell you about my Talmud that told me that he wanted to be a rebbe?

26:54 Did I ever tell you this story? A Talmud came to me. He said, Rebbe, can we take a walk? I said, Sure. We started to take a walk. You know how sometimes you're with someone and before they can get the words out, they're just bawling. Rebbe, can we take a walk? Sure. We start taking a walk. All of a sudden, he's just bawling. So I put my arm around his shoulder. Sadik, what's going on? And in between sobs, he says to me, "Rebbe, I want you to know something. I always wanted to be a Rebbe." So I'm like, 'That's awesome. That's a beautiful thing. Why are you crying?' He goes, 'Because I will never be able to be a Rebbe.' I said, 'Why? Why will you never be able to be a Reb?' He said, 'Rebbe.' I know on the outside I look like a good guy. I know I dress nicely. I know I speak nicely, but you don't know who I really am. Rebbe, in high school, I was mamish eating Burger King. Rebbe, in high school I was making doing drugs. And not only was I doing drugs, but I couldn't afford to do drugs, so I sold drugs to do drugs. I can never be a rebbe.

28:09 So I'm looking at him like he's from outer space. I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, my rebbeim, they never messed up. I was like, which rebbeim? My rebbeim. I'm like, Which rebbeim? He said, this rebbe, He's never messed up in his life. I was like I couldn't say anything, but I knew that rebbe in high school. He was cracked out of his mind. So I said to him, "You really think that because you messed up, you can't do tshuva, you can't come back?" He said, "It's never going to happen." You should know he's on his path. He's on his way to becoming a rebbe. He's studying, he's learning, he's in college. He's doing unbelievable things. I can't tell you what yeshiva he's in because it's being taped, and anyway, what's the relevance? But he's in a very chash of yeshiva, and he's a serious bentayra who's learning almost three starim a day, even while he's in college. But at the time, the feeling he had was, "I'm irredeemable." It's not shyach for me to come back from this.

29:15 It doesn't make any sense. How could the Rebbeinu Shalom care about me after I've done these terrible averas? I tried to tell him it's just the opposite. You who have gone so low, if you'll be willing, to be authentic, to have integrity, and to say to Hashem, you know my averas even better than I do, but you also know this isn't the person I want to be. You could be the best Rebbe, because when a kid comes to you 20 years from now and says I'm irredeemable. You know what you're going to say to him? I also once upon a time thought that. That's what Gullah does to us. Gullah says you are so irredeemable that it's not shayach for you to come out. That's why in the Gullah of Mitzrayim we lost almost everything. First of all, most of us didn't come out. You know that girl. Four fifths of Mitzrayim. 80% of Jews did not come out of Gullah. Why? Because we didn't believe it was possible to come out of Gollis. We thought we were so far gone. Girls, what were the only things we had left? We didn't change our name. We didn't change our dress. We didn't change our language. Everything else we lost.

30:22 What was Klal Yisrael doing? A bunch of Avayi Dezara. What saved us in the end? We were willing to bring a carbon Pesach. We were willing to shecht the Egyptian god and put the blood on our doorpost, saying that we're not idolaters. Do you realize what a low level that is? The thing you have to do to get out of Gullus is just to say, "I'm not an idolater." That's the level we were on—the 49th level of tumah. Girls, you have to understand. The 49th level of tumah is worse than the worst avera you've ever done in your entire life. No matter how many times you did that avera in a row. The 49th level of tumah is nothing we can even begin to fathom. What's the feeling that most of Klal Yisrael had when we were in Gullus? How could we possibly come out? I'm irredimable. I can never be a rebbe. I ate Burger King in my life. I can never be a rebbe. I sold drugs. I was not just a chotay. I was a machti. How could I ever come out? That's the catch. The lower you go, the greater the opportunity to bring godliness into your life. I want to tell you something. I'm terrified. I don't use that lusin often. I'm terrified of the girls that never make mistakes. I'm terrified of them.

31:33 The girl in your class in high school that never once did the wrong thing. You know that girl? She was always perfect. She never even seems to have a yitzhara. She was davening since she was a fetus. She was shuckling like she was having a seizure. If boys were interested in her, it didn't even come on her radar screen. Wow, she was a kadosh elyon. She was a sar imenu. She was a rifki imenu. Unbelievable. I'm teasing. I'm terrified of those girls because they never experienced a mashbir. They never experienced what it means to go low. They never know how to recover. They never learned it. The first thing you have to learn in life is how to fall. I'll tell you a great marshal for this. I've told this marshal many times. My best friend in the world lost his leg to cancer when he was 12 years old. He had to have his leg amputated. Today he has a prosthetic leg. Most of you wouldn't know it if you saw him. He walks around with a prosthetic leg. He walks so well that you wouldn't be able to tell. In fact, he dances for a living. Some of you, anybody here from the New York, New Jersey area? Have you ever heard of the Schnitzel guys? By Bar Mitzvah, these two guys

32:53 They come and they make it crazy Lebedik. One of them is missing a leg, but he's the most incredible dancer. He gets all the kids going. I once asked him, "Aren't you afraid to fall?" He looked at me and he said, "I will never fall." I said, "What are you talking about?" He said, "I can jump with one leg onto the lip of a wet bathtub." And I won't fall—not into the bathtub, onto the lip of a wet bathtub. I said, "How is that possible?" He said, "When they were training me to walk again with my prosthetic leg, the first thing they did was teach me how to fall. I'd be standing there on my one leg, balancing, and they would push me over, again and again. I know how to fall, so I'm never going to do it." Because I'm not afraid of falling. The reason why people fall is because they're so afraid of falling. He said, "I have total confidence that I'm not going to fall, because I know how to."

33:57 It's a tremendous lesson in life. Here's a guy who walks around with one leg. He dances on that leg for a living. The other leg is prosthetic. He's never going to fall. Because he's not afraid to fall, even if it's the lip of a wet bathtub. If a girl never makes a mistake, it's either because she's putting on an act and she has to have that image. But if it's true that that's actually who she is, Rebbeinu Shlomo, when that girl falls, it's going to be a disaster. See, we have an advantage. We've fallen before, but we're still here. We're still fighting. We want to do better than we are doing, but we know how to fall because we've fallen before. Girls, who's called the Mashbir? Anybody know in Chumash who's called the Mashbir? Yosef HaTzaddik is called the Mashbir. Mashbir literally, in this case, it means the fall, the breaking. Yosef HaTzaddik is the one that teaches us how to come up from being broken. Listen again now to these pesukim, but this time I want you to listen with a medrash in mind. It's a fascinating medrash. When Hakadosh Baruch Hu created the Yam, the medrash says that first He had a conversation with the sea, and He said to the sea, "I'm willing to create you. But with one condition: when Klal Yisrael is ready to go out of Mitzrayim,"

35:19 You need to split to let them through. So the Yam said, "First, let me see these neshamos that you want me to split for. If you show me the neshamos and I think they're worthy, for those neshamos I'll split." Hakadosh Baruch Hu brought before Him the neshamos brought before the Yam, the neshamos of Klal Yisrael. The Yam was blown away; such kadosh neshamos the Yam could never have imagined. And the Yam said to Hashem, "Of course. If you bring those neshamas to me, I will split for them." But then what happened? When we came to the banks of the river, the sea did not split. How come the sea didn't split? Listen to what the Medrash says. The Medrash says the Yam looked at the neshamas and said, 'These are not the same neshamas that you showed me in the beginning of time. In the beginning of time, you showed me neshamas that were k'doishim, Elyonim, sadikim, Tachayim. Now you're showing me the neshamas that are on the forty ninth level of tumah. These cannot be the same neshamas. And the Yam refused to split until what?

36:22 Until Moshe Rabbeinu brought the bones of Yosef Hatzadik. And then the sea split. Why did the sea split when it saw the bones of Yosef Hatzadik? Let me tell you why. Because Yosef Hatzadik knew what it was like to be a person that had fallen so many times. But he stayed in the game. What was the example? Yosef Hatzadik in the house of Eshas Potifar. Girls, we know that Yosef left. But did Yosef do the avera? Yes or no? The answer is yes. He didn't do the very, very end of the avera. But the Gemara makes it clear he was in the middle of the avera, and then he left. So Yosef says his message is as follows: Don't look at my actions. Don't look at me on the outside. Look at my atzmios. Look at my insides. What do the insides of Yosef HaTzaddik say? The insides of Yosef HaTzaddik say, "Don't judge me by the outside because you don't know who I am on the inside. On the inside, I want to bring Hakadosh Baruch Hu into the lowest places in my life, and that's what gives Yosef the strength to get out of there." So when we come to the banks of the river and we're sitting there and we're so miluch lach, we're so dirty, we're so spoiled, we've been on the forty ninth level of tuma.

37:39 We look disgusting. Then the bones of Yosef show up. What is the Hebrew word for bones, girls? Etzem, atamot. The insides of Yosef come and testify. What do they say? They say, "Don't judge a book by its cover. Don't look at the outside. Look at the inside." What is the inside, girls? Every person right now in this room. Every person You all know. Every person. You don't need me to convince you of this. You're waiting for somebody to give you an excuse to be the person you want to be. You're waiting for it. You've been waiting all year for it. Maybe you've had the excuse ten times already, but you keep waiting. You're like, maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Somebody's going to come and they're going to say something that's going to wake me up, and I'm just going to come to them and say, Yes, I'm out. I don't want to be that person anymore. Because on your inside, you already don't want to be this person. And not only that, in your inside, you're already not that person. Just sometimes, on the outside, you behave inappropriately. But on the inside, aren't we all awesome? On the inside, don't we all want to do what's right? Sometimes we make mistakes because we get caught up in a funny place at a funny time doing a funny thing.

38:45 But it's not who we are. The Atzmos Yosef teach us: no matter how far you fall, don't make the mistake and think that's who you are. Don't make the mistake and think that because I've said I'm sorry to our Kadosh Baruch Hu a thousand times that he won't. He's not there waiting for me to come back. He's waiting for us to come back. Now let's look at the pesukim again. The pesukim are going to read entirely differently. You'll see; these are the most inspiring pesukim in the entire sefer. Yosef HaTzaddik says There's going to be a time where Hashem remembers you. You're going to bring out my bones. Why? Why is Yosef talking about his bones? Why is he not talking about him? Because he says at that time you're going to feel like a nothing. When you're ready to leave Mitzrayim, you're going to feel mamish like a nothing. Bring my atzamot, bring my bones, bring my essence with you. Because the essence of Yosef HaTzaddik says, No matter how much of a mashber you've had.

39:46 No matter how much of a fall you've had, that's not you. The Yam isn't going to split because it's going to say forty-ninth level of tumah. That's not you. And here's the most inspiring pasuk. That is a good second-to-last pasuk. The last one is the best one. Vayamas Yosef, and Yosef dies. Ben Meir the Eshashanim is 110 years old. Vayechantu also, and they embalmed him. Vayisem ba'aron, and they placed him in a coffin in Mitzrayim. Yosef HaTzaddik says, "I'm not leaving you." Yaakov Avinu wanted to be buried in Eretz Yisrael. He made Yosef take a shvua. Don't bury me in Mitzrayim. What does Yosef say? I'm gonna be buried in Eretz Yisrael. I'm with you and I'm not leaving. What's the most inspiring personality in all of Tanach?

40:39 It's the one that says to you, 'It doesn't matter how far you fall, I'm here with you.' Where does Yosef want to be buried? He wants to be buried in Eretz Yisrael. He just told them, 'When you leave, you better take me with you.' But in the meantime, if you're here, I'm here. If you're in Galus, I'm in Galus. That's why. Who was the 70th one? Maybe it was Yochaveh, and maybe it was Yaakov. But there's another Shita. Maybe it was Hakadosh Baruch Hu, because Hakadosh Baruch Hu comes with us into the lowest places wherever we are. The problem is that we've gotten so accustomed to only thinking that we could speak to Hakadosh Baruch Hu when we're doing well. It's the opposite. When you're not doing well, that's when Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to hear from you. Yosef HaTzaddik says, 'I will not leave you. If you are low, I'm low with you.' Isn't that what we all want in life? Isn't that the teacher we're all looking for, the Rebbe we're all looking for? That no matter how far we fall, He says, 'Look, I'm here with you. Doesn't matter how far you go, I'm here with you.'

41:39 One of my closest friends in the world is not an observant Jew. He eats pork on Yom Kippur. That's not an exaggeration. He lives in the Czech Republic, which is one of the most atheistic countries in the world. And every time he comes to Israel, we get together. Because he's one of my closest friends in the world. Wherever he is, that's where I'm gonna be. It's not true friendship if it doesn't stand the test of time. I don't care how far he goes. I'm hurting for him because I know he's hurting. But if he's low, I'm low with him. That's what it means. That's where we find God's anivus, His humility. Where you find God's godless is where you find His humility. Greatness means to be able to be with someone wherever they are.

42:44 Sometimes we're so afraid. How many girls have come to me over the years and said, Rebbe, can we speak off the record? Since you don't really work in the seminary where I teach, I feel like I can trust you not to say anything, so I can be honest with you. It happens all the time. People are terrified that if they tell people who they really are, they won't be accepted or that they'll get in trouble. It's not true. We want more than anything in the world for you with us. We want more than anything in the world for you to come to us and say, "I'm really struggling with this issue." You're welcome to come to me. I'm happy to hear from you. But you should know, if you're only coming to me, you're missing out on something. There are so many resources that you have right in front of you. Use them. Be honest with them. Come to them and say, "Can we have an off-the-record conversation?" We have a policy in our yeshiva. If you come to me and you say Rebbe, can we have an off-the-record conversation? It's Amnesty International.

43:53 You need to have an off-the-record conversation. Let's have an off-the-record conversation. Because if somebody needs help, even though I'm the Menahel of the yeshiva and it's my job to lay down the discipline, if somebody needs help, I'm not thinking about discipline. They need help. Yosef HaTzaddik, he stays with us. Yosef HaTzaddik is the one who's telling Klal Yisrael, "I'm here for you." You know where he learned it from? He learned it from his mother Rachel. Because what does Yaakov say to Yosef right before he gives him the bracha? I know you're upset at me for burying Rachel along the way. Derechefrata. I know you're upset at me for burying her along the way. What was Yaakov telling Yosef? Rachel imenu. It's appropriate for her to be buried along the way. Why? Because when we all go out into gullus when we're about to have that mashbir, what does Rachel imenu say? I'm here with you. I'll be davening for you. That's what Yosef says. Yosef says, when you leave, you take my atzmus, but in the meantime, I'm right here with you, buried, interred. I'm embalmed. I'm not going anywhere. Ultimately, you'll bring me with you to Eretz Yisrael.

44:56 You'll take me from the lowest place to the highest place. Why? Because I believe in you. The greatest message that we can teach our talmidim and our talmidot, our children, our communities. The greatest lesson is Elokein Neshama Shnasat to be Tahiri. God, the soul that you gave me, it's pure, and no matter how far I've fallen. That purity cannot be diminished. We're all waiting for that person. We're all waiting for the Yosef HaTzaddik in our lives, somebody to come along and say, 'I see you for who you really are. I'm with you in tahtonim. I'm with you in the trenches. Don't give up on yourself because I haven't.' But girls, it's up to you to be aselacharav, to make for yourself that Rebbe, to have someone in your life that you're honest with, who can really help you. Because if you have that person in your life, then you can finally be seen for who you are. It's like when you're finally married. No more games, no more shtick. You wake up in the morning and it ain't pretty. But who cares? Because they care about you, not how you look. That's what we're looking for. We should talk all be zeicher to have such a rebbe in our life.