Parshas Vaeira - Are You A Staff Or A Snake?

2:48 Hakadosh Baruch Hu needs to prepare them for this. So that's another question. Frankly, it doesn't even sound like such a powerful miracle. This whole Mo face that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says you're going to throw down your staff is going to turn into a snake. That was replicated. What's the big miracle over here? So you'll say the big miracle was that Aaron's snake swallowed the other snakes. But that is what we call darach atevon. That's a natural thing. Snakes eat snakes. So that doesn't sound like the biggest miracle either. And because of that, the Medrash says that that's not what happened. The Medrash says that Aaron's staff ate the other snakes. I get it. That's more miraculous. That's so miraculous that now Paro is going to say, "Yep, we good. Go." So what's the point of this whole thing? So I'd like to share with you what I think is a very important approach to this sugya. These questions, and something that I think is very meaningful for our last year together.

4:16 Hakadosh Baruch Hu was teaching Moshe Rabbeinu a very fundamental lesson. And the lesson is about being worthy of redemption. There's a question that every single Jew has. There's a question that many nations have had on Klal Yisrael. The question is as follows. Let's first talk about it from the perspective of other nations. Christians would tell you. That you broke your covenant, it's true. You had a covenant with God, but you are no longer the chosen people because of the way that you behaved, because of the way that you acted. So while you were once the chosen people, you are no longer the chosen people. You're not worthy of being the chosen people. If you are the chosen people, why have Jews suffered as they have throughout the millennia? Not just a generation, but two, three, four, five, six, seven. We've been suffering for so long, thousands of years. Would God treat a chosen nation with such disdain? It's clear that you're not the chosen nation.

5:39 Jews have this question themselves. Let me tell you how it sounds from the voice of a Jew. How many times can I say I'm sorry before God realizes that I'm not changing? I've done this before, I know I'm gonna continue doing this. So really, what's the value of my tshuva? Most of us come to Yom Kippur with the following attitude: How am I gonna say I'm sorry when I know I'm probably gonna do it the next week, if not the next day? On Yom Kippur, we're on the level of malachim. So we say Baruch Shem Kevod Malchuso Leolam Veyed out loud, just like the malachim do. But in Maariv of Yom Kippur, when it comes to Kriyas Shema, we already say Baruch Shem Kavod Malchuso Laolam Vodeh quietly again. Why? Because we know who we are. So a Jew says, 'Come on, who are you kidding? This is who you are.' You understand?

6:42 So Paro doesn't ask this question. He never says, 'Give me a miracle.' He never says it. But Hakadosh Baruch Hu is telling Moshe Rabbeinu, 'This is the subtext of what's going on here. The subtext is as follows: You're going to come to Paro and you're going to say, 'Let my nation go.' We want to go out to serve God. We want to go to the wilderness for three days. Paro's question to you, and this is not just Paro The dictator of Mitzrayim. This is the Paro in every one of us. The question is, who are you to serve God? Show me what's miraculous. Show me what's a wonder about you. Give me a mofeast. Give me a sign that says that you're special to leave Mitzrayim and to go out and serve God. You're slaves. Don't make yourselves out to be more than you are. You had some great ancestry. You had a good run. Abraham was impressive.

7:44 Isaac. Impressive, Jacob. Impressive, Joseph. I've forgotten about him, but from what I hear, pretty impressive. But honestly, as I look around, it's not a very impressive nation. You're not any better than any of us. You're idolatrous, just like we are. You're a nation that was able to be enslaved. This is not an impressive nation. Who are you to take these people out and say these people are worthy of redemption? Show me why. The problem is we often think of Paro. We think, frankly, we think of Achashverosh the same way. We think these people were stupid. So when we were growing up, how did the story go? Moshe said, 'Let my people go,' and Paro said, 'No.' As if that was the entire story. This is the Torah doesn't tell us random things. We have to read into it to understand what the Torah is really telling us. What the Torah is really telling us here is as follows: a fundamental question. When a nation is about to be redeemed, the question is on what merit. You're not any better than anyone else.

8:47 So who are you to go out into the desert to serve God? Who are you to be taken free? Paro is asking a legitimate question, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu is telling Moshe Rabbeinu, 'This is the question. The question is not economic. The question is not in terms of military power. The question is very simple. These people are unworthy of redemption.' So this is what I want you to do. I want you to instruct Aaron to throw down your staff. Throw down his staff in front of Paro, and it will turn into a snake. That's the miraculous miracle that Hakadosh Baruch Hu says is going to convince Paro. That's the one. How does that make any sense? Somebody once told me an amazing var in Chinuch. And I'm going to add a little bit of my own ideas to it. You see, in Judaism, a staff is not just a walking stick. A staff is an instrument of leadership.

9:55 And Moshe Rabbeinu had a very special staff. It wasn't just stam-like to get from one place to another. It was a staff capable of performing exceptional miracles. What happens when you take a staff and throw it down to the ground? And I'm going to add on, not just any ground, but in front of Paro. The answer is, it turns into a snake. When we take precious Jewish children and we throw them down to the ground and we put them in front of Paro, and then they turn into snakes, why do we turn around and wonder how did this happen? What do you mean, how did it happen? You took it and threw it down to the ground. I'm very blessed. I came from a yeshiva when I was younger, called Yeshiva Darche Torah, which some of you have heard about in Farakwe. And one of the things that I loved about Darche Torah was my experience there.

11:02 Was that everybody got what they needed? Which was very unusual, especially back in the day. It was like a cookie cutter system, but Rabbi Bender was not into cookie cutting at all. I never heard of a school having a vocational program before Darche did. They have a program for kids that are not going to be great in math and science and history and literature. So they teach them carpentry and they teach them how to make kitchens and they teach them how to become mechanics. It's amazing because those kids can be lifted up by having success in the areas where they can have success. I was a kid that couldn't sit still in the classroom. I don't know if you've realized that about me in the time we've spent together. I like the swivel chair better because my ADHD is a little bit easier with this thing. I had rebbeim that knew how to make sure that I didn't fail.

12:09 Like Rabbi Krauss in fifth grade, who used to tell me that there was an emergency fire drill and I should go practice. The rest of the class didn't have a fire drill. There was no bell that went off or anything, but had a fire drill. Had to go out of the class. He didn't throw me out of class. I had an emergency fire drill. Or Rabbi Glenn, who was my sixth grade rabbi, who at the end of the year gave me straight olives on my report card. And I always thought that I really deserved those olives because I actually did work hard in his class because he really was very demanding of us. But he wanted us to feel great about ourselves when we left. And in fact, Rabbi Glenn was a tough rabbi. But when it came time for bar mitzvah lessons, I wanted Rabbi Glenn to be my bar mitzvah teacher because with Rabbi Glenn I felt like I had success straight A's. Rabbi Finkelman, Shliya

13:13 Now the mashgiach Baruch Hayim was my seventh grade rebbe, which by itself is a pele. We had this massive tzaddik, and I remember that he never raised his voice except for one time the entire year. He never raised his voice. Always sweet, always kind, always gentle. Telling us stories about Gedaliah and inspiring us, but he never ever would speak to us. We were seventh graders. He would never speak to us in an undignified way. And Rabbi Grossman, again, who was the toughest, toughest nails rabbi, but when I would get you know like all jumpy in class He would scream out "mit ice." "Mit ice" means in Yiddish "with ice," which meant that I had to run across the entire campus to the cafeteria. And in the cafeteria, they had a soda machine—not a soda machine that you put in money and get a can. They had like a fountain soda machine. It was in the kitchen, and they had these enormous cups in the kitchen. And I used to fill them up with ice and then fill them up with Diet Coke and bring them back across the campus. Now I know, especially now looking back and as an adult, it wasn't an accident that I was the mit ice kid.

14:18 It was Rabbi Grosman. Rabbi Grosman was thirsty. Whenever I was getting fidgety, he didn't throw me out of class. He said, "Other rabbi, you could do a service for your rabbi." In fact, we had a phone in our classroom. Used to be that people didn't have cell phones. You know about this, right? Used to be that their phones were attached to the walls, and it's crazy. They had cords, like in museums. Coily cords. You've seen in the museums, right? And in the closet of our classroom. He had a phone. There was a phone there, and Rabbi Grossman would sometimes get phone calls. And if the phone would go off, I was in charge of answering the phone. Why was I in charge of answering the phone? Because it was a good way of giving me responsibility. I'm sure it was in some chinuch meeting, if we give him responsibility, you know, I was that kid. If you give him responsibility. So just a couple months ago in October, I went in to be masada kedushin for a talmud of mine. And who was at the wedding? A begrosmend.

15:23 And he was like, 'Whoa, I can't believe a mitzvah kid could be Masada kedushin somewhere.' But it's because they didn't throw me down. Other Abba, every opportunity to—and by the way, it wasn't like I behaved. It wasn't like I didn't deserve to be thrown down. But I never felt, in the three and a half years that I was in Baruchai, I never felt unloved. I never felt that they didn't care about me. I never felt like I was thrown down to the ground. I never felt like I was thrown in front of Paro. And let me explain what I think that means. It's one thing to be thrown down to the ground. It's quite another thing to be thrown down into a situation where you need to be enslaved. You need to be disciplined. Of course, discipline is a very important thing. But when you throw a kid into discipline, it's different than when you gift him with discipline.

16:25 We need to let children know that some things are okay and some things are not okay. It's important for us to set boundaries for our children. When we throw our kids into discipline, the discipline hurts. Discipline must come with respect and dignity; otherwise, it's destructive. Period. End of story. It's okay to let kids know this is not okay, and to say, and because of that, here's the consequence of your actions: you stayed out past curfew, you don't get the car. And you're on an early curfew for the next month. It's okay to say that to your children because sometimes your children need to hear that these things are beyond the boundaries. And if you don't give them that, they won't know how to give boundaries to themselves. But you can't take children and destroy them and then give them the consequence. You can't do that because then you've lost much more than you've gained. Now the kid, what's he trying to do?

17:28 He's just trying to get around the system. So my parents said I have to be home by eleven. So I'll go home by eleven, but then I'll sneak out again afterwards. Because the basic tenets of the relationship have been destroyed. I know that's what we used to do in high school. Obviously, we couldn't stay out all night. But I had a friend who had a basement, and we would tell his mom we're sleeping in the basement. His mom would go to sleep, and she would not wake up in the middle of the night. We knew that, and she would set the alarm. And so how could we go out of the house if the alarm was set? The answer is that his basement had one of those trapdoors, so it shouldn't be like a fire escape. So he had undone the alarm on that door.

18:20 So we loved going to his house because it meant that when his mom went to sleep That was it. So by the time she woke up in the morning, we were back in the house. But where were we for those couple of hours? Had we had a basic respect for the system, we wouldn't have done that. But because we felt disrespected, we acted disrespectfully. You understand what I'm saying? So here's the thing: if you throw somebody down into a system, if you throw them into a system of discipline where they don't feel like the discipline is coming from a place of love, they're gonna turn into snakes. So Hakadosh Baruch Hu's message to Klal Yisrael, Hakadosh Baruch Hu's message to Moshe Rabbeinu, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu's message even to Paro was. It's not who they are. You're looking at them and saying they're unworthy of redemption. They're behaving the same exact way as the Egyptians. Halalu of the avodah zarah, the halalu of the avodah zarah. These ones are idol worshipers, and these ones are idol worshipers. So you're looking at them and saying, why are they worthy of redemption? Why should they leave Mitzrayim to go serve God in the wilderness?

19:42 Hakadosh Baruch Hu's answer to Moshe and Aaron is, If you take a staff and throw it down in front of Paro, it becomes a snake. But it's not who they are. Pick them up and they will become a staff. Leave them down on the ground and they will be a snake. It's a chinuch message. It's not just a miracle. It's a chinuch message. Tell Klal Yisrael the reason why they're worthy of being redeemed is because I know it's not who they are. Just because you behave in a particular way doesn't mean that's who you are. Now people have a very hard time with this because we grew up in a generation and in a civilization that believes you're as good as your record. Let me explain what that means. There was a famous coach. His name was Bill Parcells. He was the coach of the Giants. And Bill Parcells, at the end of one season, after they had projected the Giants to do great. And the Giants hadn't done that great. They said, "Coach, what happened? You were really good team." And his response was, "You're as good as your record." And in Judaism, that's not true. You are much better than your record. You might have a bad record, but it's not because you're a bad person. You have a bad record because you've been thrown down in front of Paro in your life.

21:04 But not because that's who you are. Reifeld famously said. There was a Jew that was behaving in an inappropriate way. So he said, I can't blame him. In my life, I got to see the chazanish. If he would have gotten to see the chazanish, he'd be much better than I am. But he never got to see the chazanish. You see the way Riff Raffeld saw every person. But etzem they're great. Just he didn't have the same opportunities that I had in my life. So it's the opposite of non-judgmental. It's a story about a woman who had a television in her home. And so this yeshiva wasn't taking the kid into their yeshiva because they said they only take kids into their yeshiva if they're coming from a family that doesn't have a television in their home. And so Reifeld was told about this. Reifeld said, 'I have to call that mother and tell her who she really is.' He didn't call the mother and give her mussar. He called the mother to lift her up and say, 'You're much bigger than this.' You're much bigger than this.

22:13 Your behavior doesn't indicate who you are. This is why every morning in davening we say, 'Alakai neshama shasata bitahiri. God, the soul you gave me is tahar; it cannot be sullied. I but you don't know what I did last night. You don't know how much lashon hara I've told. You don't know how much I davened passionless and I just said it by rote, and that's if I davened at all. And girls, you're much better than your record. I but you'll tell me lemaisa I didn't do it okay that's not the way redemption works not because you merited redemption works because of who you are God gave redemption to anybody that wanted to be His child He said you're all my children the eighty percent that said no we're not they didn't go free because they said they're not but the twenty percent they were idolatrous the twenty percent were also on the forty ninth level of tuma.

23:08 But the reason they went free is because they said we are worthy of redemption because in our core we cannot be extinguished. It's not possible. So if you look carefully at the story now, it starts to make much more sense because Moshe and Aaron come to Paro and preemptively, before Paro even says anything, they throw down the staff exactly like all the Kadosh Baruch Hu told them, but warning the entire Kasha. What are they saying? They're saying: We know you don't want to let us go because you don't think we're worthy. But look, it's only because we were thrown down in front of you. What's Paro's response? Paro's response is not just simply to match the miracle. Paro's response is so what? Anybody who's thrown down becomes a snake. So you were thrown down. These guys were thrown down. Why are you worthy of redemption? Why not everyone?

24:08 So it's much more complicated story now. It's not just simply a question of Moshe Rabbeinu coming and saying, 'Look, the reason they're unworthy of redemption is only because they're by you. We'll take them out of you. We'll lift them up. We'll take them to Har Sinai. You'll see, they'll be incredible. They'll be staffs. They won't be snakes.' But so what? Anybody who's thrown down is going to be a snake. You're not the only one who's been downtrodden. What right do you have to be redeemed? Anyone any more than anyone else? To which Hakadosh Baruch Hu responds with the following miracle: Aaron's snake became a staff, and then it devoured all the other snakes. Not just simply his snake devoured all the other snakes; his staff devoured all the other snakes. What does that mean? I believe what it means is as follows: Would it have been impressive if Aaron's snake swallowed up the other snakes?

25:12 It's natural. It just means he had the strongest snake. But that couldn't have been a good answer. Why not? Because then it's just one snake swallowing another. So it wouldn't have answered Paro's question. Paro's question is: These downtrodden people are acting in an inappropriate way. So your downtrodden are stronger. That means they should be elevated. That means they should be redeemed. No. The answer was when we become a staff We will swallow all of the snakes. The nature of a Jew is that when we're lifted up, we do become leaders, and we do become that staff that's going to lead the entire world. That nefesh abahamis, that evil inclination, that yitzharah, that snake, we're going to swallow it. We're going to bring them into ourselves. We're going to remove the world from this consciousness of evil. So yes, we should be the ones to be let go.

26:22 Because even though right now you're looking at us and you're saying it's not fair why them more than anyone else you should know we are inherently meant to do this it's who we are we came to Mitzrayim so that we could experience redemption so that we could redeem everyone to remove all of that concept of throwing people down in the world that's what it means to be a Jew. Throughout our history We can't look at Klal Yisrael, and we can't always say that we've done whatever Hakadosh Baruch Hu wanted us to. We can't say that. Wish we could, but we can't. Even today in Klal Yisrael, how many Jews are assimilated? And even from the non-assimilated Jews, how many of us are assimilated anyway? Orthodox, but assimilated. And even from those of us that are passionate about our Judaism We know ourselves, no? We know ourselves.

27:36 See, the challenge is as follows: when we go out into the world Let's not kid ourselves. We're gonna do things that we're not proud of. We're gonna do things that our parents wouldn't be proud of. We're gonna do things that Hashem wouldn't be proud of. We're gonna do these things. We talk a lot about the seminary bubble. And it is a bubble. When you leave, you're going to make mistakes. We need to have reasonable expectations. Reasonable expectations mean that you're not expecting perfection. Perfection is a direction; it is not the goal. The problem is avera gaireras avera. Avera gaireras avera means once you do one avera, you're going to do another. Once you feel like an avarian. Once you say, okay, I guess I'm not that person anymore.

28:49 Then you start down that slippery slope. When I was in seminary, I was capable of doing amazing things. Now real life has hit. I'm in college and I have a job. I'm married. I have kids. Whatever's going to come at you, it's going to be real. So in seminary, I had these highfalutin ideas of what my life was going to look like. But then, as we know, real life hits. So what do we do? The answer is you have to know that just because you're down doesn't mean you're out. You're down, but you're still worthy of redemption. The only reason that you're behaving that way is because you were thrown down. We have to go out into the world. We have to go down into the world. So yes, sometimes we behave like a snake, but it's not who we really are. V'haraya, if you take us out of that environment, we're right. We feel like a million bucks. We're right back. Like yeah, I'm a Jew.

29:45 How many girls tell me when I come back and I do these visits, right? So I feel like I didn't skip a beat. I'm right back and I leave. I feel like it's going to be awesome, right? And then a month later, I'm like, where did it go? Just a month ago, I was so inspired. Right? And then a month later, or how many girls tell me, yeah, I did finishing our shana bet tonight. I did a shana bet. I was awesome. I really worked hard. But it's not realistic expectations to think that this is the way it's always going to be. But here's what is realistic. What's realistic is to know Just because you do something doesn't mean that's you. Just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you had full free will. You have to know that environment matters, and we're not always in the best environment because we don't always control our environment.

30:42 We can always stay in the game. We can always be worthy of redemption because we are Hakadosh Baruch Hu's children. Raise us up, and you will see amazing things come from us. And that's our job. Our job is to go into dira b'tachtonim. We are here to build a dwelling place for Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world down below. That's what we're here for. Which means we got to go down. We got to go down into Mitzrayim. We got to get involved with the paros of the world. Sometimes we will behave inappropriately. Not because we're proud of it. But just because it's mitzvahs. Not because we want to, but just sometimes we make mistakes. Four fifths of Mitzrayim got left behind. Four fifths of Klal Yisrael and Mitzrayim got left behind because they forgot that they were worthy. They forgot that they were Hakadosh Baruch Hu's children.

31:33 I've said this many times. I think it's a good message to send you girls off with. Anything that you learn should make you feel uplifted. If you learn something and at the end you feel gross, you feel like you were just beaten. You feel like, oh my God, I'm such a pathetic Jew. You should know that is the paros of the world. I know it sounds frum when someone comes and gives you hardcore mussar. I know it feels frum. It's not. It's destructive. It can destroy a person. Today, ach v'ra'k Only, lift a person up. Maybe we have to say something that's harsh, but it can never be in a way that's throwing them down. Maybe we have to say, 'You can't do that. You shouldn't be a person who goes to a shir and sits on your phone the entire time.' It's true, and maybe sometimes in life we have to hear that, but it should come with the packaging of. Because this is Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Torah, and you're worthy of hearing it. That has to be the consciousness with which we see the world. Otherwise, yes, we will fall to be snakes.

32:52 I was thinking about this year. What I was going to say to you girls this afternoon. How am I going to say my goodbye? I wanted to leave you with something. And I think the best message that I could leave you with is don't ever give up on yourself. Don't stop just because you're not in this environment anymore. Just because maybe you're doing things that you're not super proud of, or maybe you're not doing as much as you wanted. Don't give up on yourself. So when I left Israel, I also left in January of my shanabet. I should have stayed the whole year, but I didn't for whatever reasons. And in between January and September, I went to three different yeshivas. I went to one; it didn't exactly work out for me. It wasn't the right fit for a lot of reasons. And then I went to another one; it wasn't the right fit for a lot of reasons.

33:56 And then they opened Landers, and I ended up going to Landers for eight years. I want you to know when they opened Landers, it sounded awesome. Everything I was looking for. But I remember that I davened to Hashem, and I remember saying to Hashem, "I can't hang on for that much longer. I just can't. I don't have it in me. I need to be in a yeshiva environment." I've been in three yeshivas already. In the last six months, I've been in three yeshivas. If this doesn't work out, I'm done. And for me, being done meant done, really done. I'm asking for this to work out, and Hakadosh Baruch Hu answered my tefillah. I stayed for eight years. I lived up to my end of the bargain too. But I think about that tefillah every once in a while because I was ready to give up on myself.

34:56 I was ready to say, "I've had enough. There's only so much a person can take." And thank God it worked out for me. But I got to tell you. It was such a bad mentality that I had. If Landers wouldn't have worked out, Klal Yisrael Baruch Hashem has a lot of yeshivas, right? But for me, I had lost that sense of worthiness because I knew where I was in my head when I was leaving my shulbet and I knew where I was in June of that year. Believe me, it wasn't exactly the same place. I was ready to give up on myself. Alei kai neshama shan asat to be tahira he don't ever give up on yourself. That pinto lied cannot be destroyed. All of kirev krayvim, All of kirev rachayim comes from letting a person know. It doesn't matter if you've reached the forty ninth level of tuma. That's not who you are.