Vaeira - Introducing Our Ego to Hashem

1:57 What Hashem commanded him; therefore, it would be redundant for the pasuk to tell us that Moshe Rabbeinu told Aaron, who in turn interpreted it to Paro. How could Aaron interpret it to Paro if Moshe Rabbeinu doesn't tell Aaron what to say? So Rashi comes along and says, 'No, Moshe Rabbeinu is not being commanded to tell Aaron, who in turn tells Paro.' Rather Moshe Rabbeinu himself tells Paro the message that Hakadosh Baruch Hu sent him, and of course that message was given over in Lashan Hakodesh. And Paro does not speak Lashan Hakodesh. So after Moshe Rabbeinu tells Paro the message that Hashem sent him in Lashan Hakodesh, now Aaron will go.

2:51 And he'll translate it, and he'll explain to Paro exactly what Hakadosh Baruch Hu's message is. However, there is an obvious question on this interpretation of Rashi: What's the point of Moshe Rabbeinu talking to Paro in a language that he doesn't understand? Cut out the middleman. Moshe Rabbeinu and Aaron could have come to Paro. Aaron, who's already been told by Moshe Rabbeinu what the message is, can speak to Paro directly. He'll explain to him, 'My brother had a nevuah, and the nevuah said such and such.' And this the explanation: Let Klali Yisrael go; let them leave your land. Why does Moshe Rabbeinu need to say it directly to Paro? I would imagine that this is similar to what happens today amongst.

3:50 Presidents and prime ministers of nations that don't speak the same language have ambassadors, and the ambassador comes and interprets the message received from the prime minister. Is it really necessary to have the prime minister there and an interpreter if it's some great meeting of the nations and this prime minister has traveled all the way from China to America? You're there for the meeting. You're there for the photo op. The fact that they can't understand each other is why there are interpreters. But here it seems to be functional. Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants Klal Yisrael to leave Mitzrayim. Moshe Rabenu, you'll forgive me for saying it like this. He doesn't even really need to be there, or if he's there, he certainly doesn't need to speak. So what's the pshat in this Rashi? I want to share with you a deep Torah, Torah that I hope.

4:45 You'll all find meaningful, especially at this stage in the year. We know that Paro represents the ultimate ego. Paro represents the ultimate expression of 'I exist independently from Hashem.' That's what Paro is. He says, 'I'm a god. There's no god that I'm beholden to. I'm a god.' The truth of the matter is that while it's impolite to say, every one of us suffers from paro syndrome. Every one of us, because of the nature of the world that we live in and because of the length of our exile, we live our lives very often in a state of disconnection from Hashem, in a state of ego, not recognizing Hakadosh Baruch Hu in our lives. Had a rebbe who used to say.

5:44 Whenever I give a she'er on emuna, every guy raises his hand and says, "But what about hishtadlus?" But if I give a she'er on hishtadlus, how come nobody ever raises his hand and says, "Rebbe, but what about emuna?" The reason is because you hear a she'er on emuna and you think to yourself, "Yeah, it's all well and good, emuna, of course." But lemaisa, lemaisa, and in that but lemaisa, there's a football field of a gap. Between us and Hakadosh Baruch Hu, there's a rebbeinu shleim, and we could not exist for even one moment without Hashem. But we live in a reality where it's difficult for us to see Hashem in our lives. We have a shtikle paro, and we're trapped by this paro. We live in a land of mitsrayim because of this paro. The word mitsrayim comes from a lashon of constraint, like meitzar.

6:42 When we live in a state of connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, a person lives with a sense of abundance in their lives. And when a person lives chas v'shalom disconnected from Hashem, they live in a very narrow way. We're all trapped in Mitzrayim, and we have an element of Paro inside of us. That's why Klal Yisrael is described as an Am Kishay Oref, we're a stiff-necked nation. Oref is the same letters as Paro. We all have a part of us that's parodic, a part of us that's ego-driven, a part of us that lives in the prison of our own ego. The question is, what's the antidote? There's two dimensions in Torah. There's Torah Shabbal Pe and there's Torah Shabbachsav. Torah Shabbachsav is, of course, the Torah without its explanation. It's the words that we do not yet understand from Moshe Rabenu.

7:40 And of course, there's the Torah Shabbal Pe. The Torah Shabbal Pe is the deeper explanation of Torah. It's what we use our minds and all of our kishur and all of our koyches to explore every last detail in Torah. But there is a difference between Torah Shabbesav and Torah Shabbal Pe. Of course, Torah Shabbal Pe is mipiagvura. Of course, Torah Shabbal Pe was also given over at Ar Sinai. But Torah Shav are the words that we heard. In other words, Torah Shav, we'll call it, is Torah in its raw, unexplained form. Torah Shabal Pe, more intellectual. It's the explanation, delving into every detail. What I'm about to say.

8:38 I want to say it as straight as possible, but I also want to couch my words a little bit, and I hope that you'll read them appropriately. There's an ego that can sometimes come up in yeshiva when a person is learning. A person in beis medrash, staking away, he's learning. He chopped a svarah. The Rebbe said over a Torah, he chopped it faster than his friend. There's a certain gaiva that comes with that. Look at me. I'm a big bal kishron. I'm a big tamachachem. After all, I've been in yeshiva already for five months. I must be an incredible tamu chacham. I'm ready to paskan shilus. I'm certainly ready to judge my friends and tell them that what they're doing is halachically inappropriate. A person sits in beis medrash and stiigs, and it could very well be that Torah for such a person could be like Chazal say a samamoves. It could be poison. It could feed into their ego, and it becomes a destructive element in their lives. Such a thing does exist.

10:04 How do we arrive at such a point where Torah could cripple a person, where Torah could become a vehicle for gaiva? And what do we do about it? There's a story of Rav Izlacharif. Rav Izlacharif was a tremendous genius. He was a tremendous tamachachem. He was a charif. Charif means like a sharp person. And he gave a shiur, and his father was in the audience. His father was a Lebavitcher Chassid of Eisel Lacharif was a great Litvisher Rosh Yeshiva. And he gave the shiur, and he had unbelievable pilpulim in the shiur, and unbelievable lumdis in the shiur. And he said, "I think the pshat is like this, and I think the pshat is like that." And after the shiur, everybody gathered around him to say how incredible the shiur was.

10:57 And Rav Izlacharof noticed that his father was standing in the back, and he didn't have a look on his face of tremendous pride. So he went over to his father and he said, 'Tati, did you enjoy the shiur?' So Rav Izlacharof said, 'The shear was unbelievable, the lumbus was incredible, the pilpel was sharp. I just have one question: Who is this eye that you kept referring to, and why is he so important to the shiur?' I think. I say. I hold. Who is this I, and what does he have to do with the Sheer? There is an ego that could take over our learning, and I get nervous. I get nervous here in yeshiva because our job is not to teach you to become talmidei chamim. We hope that you become talmidei chamim, but our job is much more profound than that. Our job is to raise you as your parents raised you.

11:54 To become fathers, to become husbands, to become members and leaders of your community, and I get nervous sometimes. See a guy in yeshiva and he's staking away, but the gaiva is getting bigger and bigger every single week, and on the outside it looks very good. He's a quote unquote top guy, but will he be a better father for sitting and learning in that way? Will he be a better husband? The answer is resounding no. That guy's dangerous. He's dangerous because when a person is in a state of ego, there's no room for anybody else. How will he relate to his wife? How will he relate to his kids? Will he be a taker or a giver in the community? This is the danger of being in yeshiva. Pasuk is giving us an unbelievable insight.

12:50 Into how we should approach our own ego. Listen to the words of Rashi carefully. Ata to daben, you will speak to paro, meaning you're going to speak to your ego. How do you address the ego? Pamachas one time. The Moshe Rabbeinu that speaks to paro is not there to convey the message. The message will be explained by Arna Cohen, and it will be explained very well. It'll be explained as many times as necessary until Paro himself can understand the words. Arna Cohen is there to explain to the ego, to use logic with the ego, but that is not what comes first. First, the ego must confront Hashem, as represented in the words that came directly from Hashem through Moshe Rabbeinu. Does Paro understand those words? No.

13:48 He does not. Paro doesn't understand the content of what Moshe Rabbeinu says, but Paro knows very well the one who said it. Torah can be a sam hachayim. It can be a medicine. It could heal you, only if Hashem comes first. Only if when you relate to Torah, the first thing you see is this is Hakadosh Baruch Hu's will and wisdom. Then you're in a state of bittol. Then you're in a state of being nullified before Hashem. The ego is diminished naturally because it's confronted tyra. Then you can go ahead and you could have all the Aranah Cohen piple in the world. Then you could become an unbelievable Tamochacham. But if the Tyra of Shabachsav doesn't come first, if Moshe Rabbeinu doesn't confront Paro, even if Paro doesn't understand the words that he's saying.

14:45 Then Torah could chas v'shalom be asam amavas. It's very rare to see a guy who's sticking in yeshiva, but who understands the dangers of yeshiva. It's a very rare thing. Chavra, I'm going to say this in as clear a way as I can. The yeshiva's starim are not the only things that you should be learning. Morning seder Gemara Be'Ein, afternoon seder B'Kiyas, five thirty whatever Ashkafish Yirum you have, eight fifteen to nine o five learning with your chavrusha Shana Aleph Shana Bet, nine o five to ten o'clock Chazara Shirum whatever you're doing. Rabbi Sai, a guy who does not have a Musar seder in yeshiva, a guy who doesn't have a designated time in yeshiva, to recognize Hakadosh Baruch Hu in the world, is in a state of danger.

15:44 And you don't even know it. You have to have mussar in your day. You have to have something in your day that introduces you to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And I want to tell you guys, you're the ones that taught this to the world. It wasn't the rebbeim; it was the talmidim that taught this. Your generation has been begging. You guys are now the latest iteration, but it's been already for a good ten, fifteen, twenty years. Your generation has been saying, we are begging you to introduce us to the Rebbeinu Shalom. In the times of Mashiach, we're not hungry for bread. There's plenty of Torah. We're not thirsty for water. There's plenty of Torah. Look around. Look how many people are learning Torah today. How many people do you think are going to be Messiahim Dafyomi in the next seum?

16:38 Somebody told me that Rabbi Eli Stefanski of MDY between the Hebrew Sheer and the English Sheer. I don't know if this is true. Somebody told me he has close to fifty thousand listeners a day. That's unbelievable. Fifty thousand people learning Daf Yomi, and that's one Sheer. It might be the biggest Sheer, but it's one Sheer. It's unbelievable. Even if the number is exaggerated by twenty thousand, that's still thirty thousand people a day. How much Torah is being learned in the world today? It's unbelievable. But what are people crying out for? Where is the thirst? Introduce me to Hashem. I'm tired of coming to davening and shuckling like I'm having a seizure, but having no shychas to the Rebbeimishol. Your generation is the one that's been screaming for it because your generation is the one that's going to create Mashiach, and you know that it's this time. And it's our ego that's crying out and saying, "This is not working. I'm tired of being the center of the universe."

17:35 Nobody's happy when they're in a state of ego. Nobody feels connected. Nobody feels joyful. We feel most joyful when we're in relationships, when we're deeply connected to other people, and we know that our ego is getting in the way. Nobody wants to wake up in the morning and the first thing they do is roll over and check their phone. That's not a good feeling. We want to roll over in the morning and with real passion say, "Maya ani lefanacha melech hayvikayim." We want to wake up in the morning and be connected to Hashem. We want to show up to davening and be connected to Hashem. We want to come to first seder and be connected to Hashem. We want to be on the basketball courts and be connected to Hashem. We want to be in the workout room and be connected to Hashem. It's what we're dying for. It's what we came to yeshiva for, and it makes sense, because in a certain way, it's like we're all in rehab, trying to destroy this thing that's killing us called ego. We're all trying to rid ourselves of paro.

18:32 We're all trying to somehow escape this inescapable land called Mitzrayim. So you come to yeshiva and you say, 'If I open the block Gemara and I break my teeth over the Gemara, then will it happen, Rebbe? Then will I be connected to Hashem?' And then a guy gets frustrated. He comes to yeshiva. It's already January, and he feels like, 'Ayn echanami, I've learned more Torah, but did I connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu? Have I changed as a person? Have I really grown? What does that word mean?' I'm about to go to America. I'm gonna sit there. I haven't done interviews for two years. Baruch Hashem, I had a two-year dispensation. Two years ago, my daughter got married. Last year, she had a kid. This year, she had a kid two weeks early, and I have to go to yeshiva. I have to go for yeshiva to do interviews, and I have to go to listen to 500 guys. Baruch Hashem, I don't have to do 500. We're gonna split it up. I'm gonna have to listen to 70 or 80 guys say the same thing. Why do you want to come to Eretz Yisrael for the year? I want to grow.

19:32 The yeshiva food is great. You'll probably put on a lot of weight. What does that look at me? I've been here 17 years. What does that word mean? What does that word mean? I want to grow. I want to grow. What does it mean? I want to grow. The problem is, we know what it means. We know what it means. It's just hard to articulate. Grow means I want to be deeply connected to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. That's what it means.

20:02 That's what it means. I want to be deeply connected to Hashem in myself. I want to be deeply connected to Hashem in my friends. I want to be deeply connected to Hashem in my life. I want to see Hashem in every dimension of my life. So I think when I come to yeshiva, it's going to be unbelievable. I'm going to open up that black gemara. I'm going to break my teeth. I'm going to work whatever she'er you're in. I'm going to work on that level. I'm really, really going to work. And if I only will spend all my time in beis medrash. I'm in base manager till eleven o'clock. What time you in base manager till eleven thirty? Oh no, I'm gonna be till eleven thirty. What time you in base manager till? By the time you're gone, you have guys that are waking up at four o'clock in the morning, all in the name of their own ego, and then they turn around and go, "I don't understand why I don't feel deeply connected," because you were sailing in the wrong direction. We have to learn Torah Shabbosav. I don't just mean to make a push for Shnaiyim Mikra. I'm talking about dedicating ourselves.

20:59 Confronting paro in our lives with Hashem, saying it's not this is not an intellectual exercise. You have husbands that do this when they listen to their wives. They listen to the words that they're saying. You listen to the words that your wife is saying, Rabbi. I promise you, you're never going to understand what she means, and that's why many husbands turn around and go, 'What's your wife saying? I have no idea. I listened very carefully.' I could give you a shiur on what my wife said. I momish. It's hard to put together. She's a k'tzayt. She's a nasibah. She's a revchaim. It's difficult to understand what she means. Don't worry. I know there are moms here in the audience right now. I have a very close relationship with Mrs. Heller. I saw her from across the room. You should know, by the way. I turned to Shimon, who makes such beautiful music. We all know Shimon Akar Satoev. Every week he makes such beautiful music.

22:02 I turned to Shimon about five minutes before Mrs. Heller walked in, and I said, "Let's sing the Kaddish. Let's sing the niggun of Ira Heller. Let's sing Yimloch Hashem. That was his niggun that he made up." And then out of nowhere, Mrs. Heller walks in. We had a ruach hakodesh. We both said at the same time, "We should sing that song." And then sure enough, Mrs. Heller walks in. And I've known the Heller family for a very long time. Wonderful, Baruch Hashem, beautiful children that we've had here in yeshiva from the Heller family. I know who I'm speaking to. I want you to know I'm doing all your future wives a favor. Your wives don't need you to be an achron. They don't need you to be a peirush on their words. What they're saying is not nearly as important as the person that's saying it. You could start to explain. I think my wife meant this and this only after you've learned. That's my wife.

22:55 And I'm listening carefully to her, not because I want to understand, but because she's talking. You connect to the person, then you could connect to the words. You connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, then you could go learn the Black Gemara. And it doesn't mean that you have to wait to learn the Black Gemara until you connect to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, but you have to be careful, because the Black Gemara, Rabbi Say, is the single most scintillating thing that you could do when you get to the higher levels of learning. And you're really working on serious levels of lamdas. You know what I'm talking about. If you're at that level, you know what I'm talking about. Mechadesh of pshat and taisus to figure out a shverer Rambam. Rabbi say there is no more geshmak intellectual feeling in the world. It's amazing. And you could choke to death on the guy. But a guy who's mivatel himself, a guy who's learning mussar, a guy who's learning chassidus, a guy who's learning hashkafa, to introduce himself to the rebbeinu shalom, then Torah becomes a samachaim.

23:52 Then he goes to beis medrash, and it's not about his own gaiva. He's not walking around saying, "Look at me." He's saying, "What a privilege I have to learn Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Torah." And I'll tell you a secret, Rabbi Yisai. That guy, when he's learning Hakadosh Baruch Hu's Torah, it changes him in every dimension. He's a different human being in the dorms. He treats himself with kavod. He treats his roommates with kavod. Every silly little machlokas that you have in the dorms could be solved if you'll be mevatel yourself to Hashem and allow the Torah to penetrate you deeply. Then you'll be searching out how do I make shalom with my roommates? How do I help my roommates? And it'll make you a better father and it'll make you a better husband. It'll be the way you act on the buses. I'm gonna say this, and I didn't know until this moment whether I was gonna say it or not, and I don't mean it as a critique and I don't mean it as a mussar.

24:49 I received an email from somebody in the neighborhood, critical of the way our yeshiva is behaving on the bus. Too rowdy, putting their feet up on the seats, treating it like it's their own private living room. There are people on the bus, and this person wrote an email, and it was a critical email. We received it, Reb Isaacson and I, I think a week ago. And I don't know if the Rosh Yeshiva responded. I'll be honest with you, I didn't respond. Maybe I will, but I didn't respond yet.

25:20 I wanted to first take this person's muster to heart. I wanted to ask myself, how is it that a guy could be in yeshiva, studying in beis medrash, eight, ten, twelve hours a day, and then go on the bus and act like that? I think the answer is because Torah is not penetrating our bones. When we go on the bus, we should be getting up for people. That should be obvious. It shouldn't even need to be said. We should speak in an appropriate tone of voice. I know that we get on the bus. I know we're 18 years old. I know we're lebedik and we're happy, and that's beautiful. But sensitive to the people that are sitting next to us on the bus. So you take over the entire back of the bus, and you think that on the front of the bus it doesn't bother them when you're acting like a meshugana. And I also think Mevsbergers is funny. I was also here once upon a time. I can understand. Many years ago, I shouldn't say the story, but many years ago in yeshiva, when I was here shanabet, the Australians showed up.

26:17 There were two Australians my year. Not all Australians are like this, but many are. So I was in Yerushalayim. I'm coming back from Yerushalayim, and there were these two Mivaserik guys that I didn't even know yet. They ended up becoming my very close friends, and they said, 'You want to chop a cab back? If we get in the cab, it'll basically be the same price as if we all go on the bus between the three of us.' I said no. I don't really want to go in a cab. I'm happy to take a bus, and then they said, 'We'll pay for it. Just come.' I'll take a free ride. So I got in the front of the cab. These two Aussies got in the back of the cab. Remember, this is my first time meeting them, and we're driving to yeshiva, and we hit that part of the road, that part of the route where you're like going up the mountain, that turning part up the mountain. And I'm facing forward. I didn't see what these two lunatics were doing behind me. They rolled down the window and they stuck their heads out the window and they started barking like dogs.

27:16 Mevsbergers didn't start a minute ago. This thing has been in the air for a long time. So they're barking like dogs, going up the, and the Israeli cab driver is screaming at them to stop, and this only makes them bark more. And I'm sitting in the front of the cab, going, how do we attract these guys to Yeshiva? How do we find these guys? And by the way, one of them today is a Chashevarov. But I remember him in the back going. It only occurred to me a long time later. Was it funny? It was funny. Was it a great story? For sure. When I see that guy today, do we always talk about that infamous cab ride where we met each other? Absolutely. Was it good middos? It was terrible middos. We were kids. We were learning. It's okay. But this is not the behavior of bnei Torah. You get on a bus, act like a bnei Torah, act like a mensh. It's a good thing. Could learn a lot of Torah, but you could be very far from Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And that is the opposite. That is the exact opposite of what we're trying to teach here in yeshiva. If you think somehow that you're a guy who spends twelve hours a day in the beis medrash.

28:41 But we get an email about the way you behaved on the bus. If you think that's called being a bentaira, that's a big failure on our part. A bentaira is a bentaira in the beis medrash. He's a bentaira in the dorms. He's a bentaira in the chadarocha. He's a bentaira on the bus. Rabbi, I have a beautiful Shabbos.