Parshas Korach - Never Give Up On A Jew.

3:00 This is especially true for Dasan and Aviram. After all How long has Moshe Rabbeinu been battling with Dasan and Aviram since Mitzrayim? What's the first time that Moshe Rabbeinu was battling with Dasan and Aviram in Mitzrayim? Correct. When Moshe Rabbeinu killed the ish mitzri The Ish Mitzri was fighting with who? With Dassen And that was really about something we're not going to get into right now, because Dassen and Aviram were actually brother-in-laws, and there's a whole story there as to why they were fighting to begin with. But even without getting into that, if you had to say who was the foil for Moshe Rabbeinu Who was Moshe Abenu's opponent in the entirety of Chumash? Paro is a good answer. But Paro is a much shorter-lived answer. Dassen and Aviram. Are the long-term opponents of Moshe Rabbeinu. So Doss and Aviram, who've been fighting Moshe Rabbeinu since day one.

4:00 Moshe Rabbeinu comes and he expects them to treat him graciously with dignity. Why would he think that? And Kairach Who fomented a rebellion the entire time, saying that Moshe Rabbeinu is really taking cover for himself and he's not treating all of us equally and we all should have a voice. All of a sudden, Kairach is now going to say. I'm wrong. I apologize. What in the world is going on here? Hear the question. That's question number one. Question number two. There's a detail here in the pasuk that is obviously not superfluous. It somehow adds to the narrative, but we have to really examine what does it add to the narrative. If you look carefully, it says, 'Vayakam Moshe, vayelach al dasim v'aviram' Vayelchu acharav. Zikne Yisrael And who walked after? Who was following Moshe Rabbeinu? The elders of Klal Yisrael were following Moshe Rabbeinu. Why is that important?

5:00 Why is that an important part of the story? Had we not known that detail Probably we would have arrived at the exact same conclusion in the story. Nothing really changed. That makes sense. So these two questions are the questions of the Labavitcher Rebbe Zechariah of Racha And I want to share with you. The Lubavitcher Rebbe's answer And I think it's very, very, very relevant to us in this time. The Rebbe says Moshe Rabbeinu at this point had no permission to convince K'rayach D'asen Aviram to do tshuva. That part of the story had ended. There's nothing left to talk about. And yet What does Moshe Rabbeinu want As the ultimate leader of Klal Yisrael, what does he want? He wants them to do tshuva. But he's not allowed to So he's stuck. He wants to go back to them and he wants to implore them. This is your last opportunity. The ground is going to swallow you up. This is going to be terrible. He's not allowed to say anything.

6:14 So Moshe Rabbeinu gets creative. He gets creative. He wants to. Take a stand, so to speak. What does he do to impress upon them the severity of what's happening? He takes with him all of the Zikne Yisrael in the hope that what would Kirech Dasson and Aviram do when they see Moshe Rabbeinu coming and they see this tremendous procession coming and Moshe Rabbeinu is saying this the last stand. What's Moshe Rabbeinu's hope? That even though he can't with his words say to Koyrach Dassan and Aviram, please stop. You're going to lose your lives. This going to be terrible. He's hoping that they'll get the message simply by looking at how important this is. If Meishabenu is coming and he's bringing Kol Zikne Yisrael with him, what's the implied message? The implied message is repent, return. Do tshuva. And now we can understand why Moshe Rabbeinu was hoping that they would treat him with dignity That he would show up, and Kiryachdossen and Aviram would look at him and they would say " You really care.

7:30 You came with kol zik nei Yisrael. And Moshe Rabbeinu was disappointed that they didn't do so. Shows you the. Unbelievable quality of a leader. Here were the people that were mamish attacking Moshe Rabbeinu. Dasson and Aviram were thorns in Moshe Rabbeinu's life. His entire journey of leadership, Dasson and Aviram were there. Fomented rebellion. Moshe Rabbeinu till his very last moment with these people. What is he trying to do? He's trying to help them. It's an amazing message for rabbayim and for teachers. For parents, for people of influence To never give up hope. Sometimes it feels like when we hear these messages We're speaking to Let's say future leaders of Klal Yisrael. But right now, it doesn't really have any relevance to you. For example, let's say you are mothers in your forties. And you have a child who's going off the derech. This would be an appropriate lesson for you then. Never give up hope.

9:00 This would be an appropriate lesson for a teacher who has a student who is just constantly doing exactly the opposite of whatever you say. It would be an unbelievable lesson to never give up hope. But maybe for us today. Sitting in this space, Medrash for the final time together. Maybe for us today It's less relevant. It feels less relevant. But I think that what we have to do is we have to start seeing ourselves as our own rebbeim As our own teachers, as our own leaders. I once heard a very beautiful pshat when it says, "Asel charav." Usually we interpret that to mean make for yourself a rebbe. But another way of interpreting it is to make yourself into a rebbe. Learn how to look inside yourselves to discover the answers to your own questions. So if we are indeed to be our own rebbeim, our own teachers, our own leaders, then the message to us is exceptionally profound.

10:14 The message is. Treat yourself with a tremendous amount of dignity. Treat yourself with a tremendous amount of compassion. Never Ever give up on yourself. Never give up on yourself. Because there is a tendency in our lives to speak to ourselves in a way we would never speak to other people. For example What does our inner voice sound like when we make a very bad mistake? What does it sound like? What was that? How could you do that? What was that? You should have done something else. You're so dumb. You're so stupid. Why did you do that? What's wrong with you? You can never go back. You can never undo this mistake. I'm the only person that would have done such a mistake, which is of course not true. You're a failure. You're a failure. Maybe I'm a fake. You ever have that one? There are probably a million inner critics inside of us.

11:43 There's an old Hasidic saying. It's not the bite of the snake that kills you; it's the poison from the venom that kills you. When you do an avirah, that's just a bite. A bite is not very much. That's just a pinch. It's a little bit of broken skin that'll heal. You know what the venom is? The venom is the feeling of despair after you've done the sin. It's the feeling that now I'm defined by this. And so. It's not uncommon At all For people to give up on themselves. That's the deeper meaning of avera go re'as avera. We do one avera, and we do another because we think to ourselves I'm already too far gone. Some of you may have experienced what I'm about to say. If you haven't, it's okay. There's always that moment before you start a diet. There's that last night. Tomorrow I'm starting the diet.

12:46 You know what that last apocalyptic night looks like. Since I'm starting tomorrow Tonight is going to be epic. The problem is it's hard to start the diet tomorrow. You know why we do that. Because we often don't realize that the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And we feel like we've already taken so many steps backwards. What does it matter if I take one more? That's why it's so interesting to me that in these final moments before Mashiach comes The voices of The Hasidic masters, like Rabbi Nachman of Breslov Like the Alter Rebbe Like the kedushas levi, rabbi yiscomi berdichev The voices of compassion The voices of hope Have become so elevated. It used to be Breslovers went to Uman. Now everybody goes to Uman. Uman is where Rabbi Nachman is buried. And on Rosh Hashanah, there are literally a hundred thousand Jews that go to Uman from all walks of life. People that have no shaykes to Breslov are going to Rabbi Nachman in Uman. Why?

14:23 Because Rabbi Nachman's voice was a voice of tremendous compassion. He himself said that the Torah that he was teaching was not for his generation. He needed to come in an earlier generation, when they didn't need that Torah to sneak it in under the Satan's nose, so that when it was relevant, the people of the world would have his Torah. And people said to Rabbi Nachman, 'Then they're like, we don't understand who you're preaching to.' He was talking about depression and anxiety in a generation that didn't understand what depression and anxiety were. And the reason he was doing it, he said, because the world needs this type of Torah. The voice of the Baal Shem Tov, you can find Hakadosh Baruch Hu in your lowest moments. That when you hit rock bottom, that's an unbelievable place to build the foundation. That never giving up hope. It's become the buzzwords of our generation because we're living in a place of so much negativity. That inner critic inside of ourselves is perhaps larger than it's ever been before.

15:27 And maybe that's what Rabbi Nachman meant when he said "Ein Yissh ba'olam klau." There is no such thing as giving up hope. As long as there's life left in your body, there's hope. Can't destroy hope. We know that to be true. That's why they put telephones on the sides of bridges. This is the suicide hotline. Why do we do that? Because as a person is literally walking to the bridge. There's a nikuda taiva inside of them. There's a pinto liyid. There's a little bit of a something that says Don't do it. That irreducible point of hope. Don't lose out on that. And more than ever before In a generation where we have so much difficulty feeling our feelings, and that's not a criticism. It was always meant to be this way. It was always meant to be that we were going to be the generation that had a hard time connecting to our feelings, because as we get closer and closer to the end, we need to come in greater contact with the essence.

16:32 And so it's so difficult today for people just to sit with their own feelings, because it's such an exceptionally powerful thing, and we're being tasked more and more to do it. This is not a schmooze about technology. It's really, really, really not a schmooze about technology. But how many of us this year In moments, including myself, I'll put that out there because I don't want to make anyone feel bad. I'm here to do the opposite. How many of us this year When we went into quarantine Or when we were afraid of quarantine, or when we finally got out of quarantine How many of us really spent the time to process what was happening for ourselves? How many of us just ran to YouTube? Like I would be curious to go back. If you could see the stats on your phone for that week. So I see. I see. I'm with a group of people that have a shared humanity here.

17:38 We're getting to those final moments, and we're falling precisely because what we need to hold on to in the very end is amuna. When all is said and done, the only thing that's left is faith. That's the only thing that's left. So we have to get to a point where we're holding on to hope. In an irrational way Not because it's against rational, not because it's anti-rational, but because faith is greater than logic. So what we need more than ever before is rabbis that teach us never to give up hope on ourselves. You know It's not easy to be in seminary. It's not. This is not the yeshiva seminary experience of twenty and thirty years ago. Twenty three years ago, I wish on Aleph Which is insane Because you blink and life goes by. So I remember that my shan Aleph had some people with cell phones.

18:52 I didn't have. And I remember My Rabbi Rubel Giving a shmoos about the wasting time that could happen on the cell phone Because there was a game called Snake. Was a little digital line that you could move And it would eat a little digital dot. It was a gray and black screen. I remember Rabbi Rubel speaking about the Nacha Shakadmany. If I could go back in time and whisper in Rabbi Rubel's ear Rabbi, don't worry. There's no such thing called snake and chill. Don't worry. You're gonna see what's coming from this device. It used to be that we came to Eretz Yisrael. We had a little money in our pockets. People would go do some things in the beginning of the year, perhaps things they wouldn't be proud of. But then there was a narrative. It gets dark out, it gets cold out, you run out of money.

19:58 Your dorms aren't air conditioned. Your dorms aren't heated. It's more comfortable in the base medish. You're literally bored, so you find your way to the base medish, and that's when you start getting into it. That literally used to be the narrative. And now. You never run out of money. For sure. There's no doubt about it. It was a totally different type of chenoch. But Baruch Hashem, I came from a family where my parents did not give me a credit card for the year, and they said, "You're going to Israel. You have spending money. You've been working for." " And. That's exactly what happened. In the beginning of the year, you always have your guys that aren't so into it, and then at some point, everyone starts trickling into the beis medrash. They start taking on projects, and they start learning the mesecta, and they start speaking to different rebbeim, and slowly but surely, they get into it.

20:48 And the notion of coming and cutting yourself off from what you had in America, that was why you came. And when you complained That your dorms were nasty They said. This is Israel, not America. Get used to it. I lived in a dorm that was literally a tiny kitchen that had been cleared out of its stuff. It was the size of a bed. I know this because there was a bunk bed in the room, and the bunk bed went from wall to wall. We had two closets, a little desk, and a sliding door because there wasn't enough room to open the door inside. And two of us slept in that room. On the same bed. I was on top. Not on the same bed. It's like wow, they really. You want to hear a good story? A couple of years ago in Mivasaret There was a boy who, at some point in the year Confided in the sheer, and he said Can I tell you guys? I almost didn't come to Mivasaret. Guys are like, 'Really? Why?'

21:55 I was researching the yeshiva and everything sounded really good, so I went on YouTube. I told you the story. Your daughter told us. Don't say. And the boy went on YouTube and he typed in Mivaseret. It's like this very long video I want to watch the whole video, so he's skipping around. And at one point, he clicked on a part of the video. I can't go to Mivasser. The dorms just look terrible. He had skipped to the Poland section of the video. He was looking at a video of the boys in Auschwitz. And he thought it was the yeshiva dorms. Then Baruch Hashem He realized. There's no way, right? He skipped back a little bit and realized that was the context of the video. So no, we did not sleep on the same bed. But I'll tell you what I do remember. I remember that we had a printer.

23:16 And. You could have it was like the thing you could have emailed to your email. There was a thing that would send you all the scores from all the NBA games, and you could print it out. The bathrooms of Mevaseret had piles of paper like this big. It was like a full library in there of all the scores from all the games. That's how there was a notion of watching it on your phone. There was a notion of streaming it. You were totally cut off. You girls don't have that. And without any judgment, I mean this sincerely It's very possible that because of that, the entire experience of coming to Eretz Yisrael for the year or years has changed fundamentally. And the challenges of coming here are very real. You may have even done things this year that were Let's say in your least proud moments, you may have done things this year that were worse than you ever did in America.

24:26 It was the exact opposite of the reason you came. Maybe you even did it recently And so you're on this maslul of up and down and just going through the year, and you don't necessarily have that I'm finished with that moment because it's today. You can mamish never be finished with it. And a person could leave and go back to America after leaving the seminary bubble, which is not the same bubble that it was twenty three years ago. It's not even really that much of a bubble anymore. It's still a bubble, but it's not like the fullest bubble that it once was. And you could say to yourself I guess this is who I am And then you'll start to make If you make that mistake, you'll start to make small decisions that are in line with the pathology that you just gave yourself. Since this is who I am, you'll start to make small decisions that are in line with that.

25:27 How big goals are reached with small habits every single day And so you see over time that people who leave Eretz Yisroel with big she'ifas But then they make small mistakes, and then slowly but surely they compound those mistakes. And then they compound those mistakes. Not for days, but for weeks. Not for weeks, but for months, and sometimes not for months, but even for years. Because they never learned to cultivate this inner voice of Moshe Rabbeinu that's going to think creatively. How can I send that message to K'orach Dasson V'Aviram when Hakadosh Baruch Hu has clearly told me you're not allowed to get them to do tshuva? The show is now over. Your job here is to deliver a message. There's nothing left to talk about. So Moshe Rabbeinu goes, "Good, I can't say anything." But let me gather together Kol Zikne Yisrael in the hopes that they'll get the message: You are worthy of behaving differently.

26:28 And so many of us think that not only is what Rvberg saying right now a nice shmooz. So many of us think at best it's just a nice shmooz. So many of us are probably hearing this right now and going. But still Like, Erberg, you don't know, you don't know what, you don't know who I really am You don't know what I just did And you're saying treat yourself with a voice of compassion, but isn't that basically just lying to yourself? How many of you don't raise your hands? From the laughter already, I can know who it is because I'm looking at you. I actually pay attention when I'm speaking and I'm looking at the people that I'm speaking to. How many inside of us are going right now? But let's be real now. That's a nice chasidish of art, and it's so beautiful that you come and say these things to us. But let's get real. Rabbi, come on. If you would know what I just did, if you would know that thing, surely you would say to me, be honest with yourself. Come on, this who you are. If you just keep behaving that way, clearly this who you are.

27:37 That voice That voice will kill you. That voice will destroy your life. Not only is that voice not the Eitz R'Tov, that voice is the Eitz Ahar. The idea that you're defined based on your actions is so not a Jewish idea. And we say it every morning in davening, Elohai, and the Shemashan asat be'tayri. You can't corrupt a godly soul. It's not possible. You did the worst average in your life. Okay. You're still the same godly soul that you were a moment before that avera. And other rabba If you knew that, you would never do the avera to begin with. The problem is not that we did the avera. The problem is that we didn't know that we are unconditionally loved despite any averas that we do. And for those of you who are in your head right now saying, which I understand because I would have said the same thing at your age, for those of you that are right now saying. If I tell myself that I'm going to be unconditionally loved despite any averas I do, I'm going to do averas. It's exactly the opposite.

28:45 If you would really know that you're unconditionally loved, you couldn't bring yourself to do an average. It would be impossible. If you were so deeply connected to the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves you unconditionally, you would never be able to betray that relationship. In fact, if you knew how much Hakadosh Baruch Hu loves you, the infinite amount of love that He has for you. You'd be disgusted by the notion of doing an avera. That's why a tzaddik is disgusted by the notion of doing an avera, because a tzaddik says, 'Why would I ever do anything that could hurt this relationship? Because the relationship is so exceptionally profound to him.' The problem is that we think we have to earn Hakadosh Baruch Hu's love. That's a relationship. That's not a real relationship. It's a relationship that feels like a burden. Who wants to earn somebody's love? And so that's why we have all these conversations It feels so heavy to me. I have to do the right thing. I can't do the wrong thing. What's going to happen? How many times this year have I been asked the question? Rebbe, what's the deal with Gehenna?

29:43 You know why people are asking that question? Because people are in a fear-based relationship. You would never say such nasty things about your husband. Imagine if a person said So I'm married to this guy And like I just want to get clear. If I do the wrong thing in this relationship, how badly are you going to punish me? Would you ever say that about your husband? No. Why not? Because do you realize how much has to go wrong in a relationship for you to see the relationship through the lens of reward and punishment? Reward and punishment is a real thing, but it has nothing to do with your behavior. It's not like let's be very clear about this. A child says, "I don't want to do this behavior because I'm going to get caught and I'm going to get punished." A child will say that an adult would never say that.

30:34 In theory, let's say you have a very immature adult, and he goes, "Really, I would steal." I just don't want to get caught and put in jail. Think about how much has gone wrong in that person's life. You shouldn't steal. It has nothing to do with the punishment. That's a crazy way of looking at the world. And people say this all the time, like proudly, without any sense of embarrassment, and I don't blame them because they've been brought up in a system where this is what's spoken about. Like, okay, Rebbe, could you explain to me what Gehenna is? I feel like I'm gonna roast. What in the world are we talking about? It's become we have such a worldview of an abusive relationship with their banishelem. So we sit there, and every time we do an avera. We're beating ourselves up. How many times have we asked the following question? Because we're being honest tonight.

31:29 Rebberg? How am I supposed to do tshuva on Rosh Hashanah? I seriously made tshuva Yom Kippur. I know I'm going to do the avera the next day. I know I'm going to do the avera in the next week. For sure within the next month. Am I really going to be able? What Hakadosh Baruch Hu really accept me if I know that I'm going to do the avera? How many of us feel like frauds when it comes to Yom Kippur? What do you want me to do? Cry about Naveh that I'm? I know I'm gonna do the next day. Yes. Because if you're if you're working towards something, right? Then there's, there's there's goals and there's setbacks and then your mamshak and you work and you're moving, right? And the Rebbeinu Shalom the entire time is standing next to you going, you got this. Not sitting there next to you going, you messed up. I'm gonna get you. That's a boogeyman. That's not a God.

32:19 That's like. I don't know when we became Christian, but this is not a Jewish concept. And it's sapping the energy from us Because we are the people of eternal hope Like really that's what we are, and we've lost that inner voice of Moshe Rabbeinu, and we need to cultivate that voice within ourselves so that we can share with other people. There's always that thing. Can you give us that What do we do in the summer schmooze right? You get this a lot from guys like What am I like Rebbe What happens in the summer Between Shana Alvin Shana Bet what's the summer gonna be like What happens Rebbe if I don't learn as much as I plan to learn this summer Or what happens if I go to Hask and even though I've sworn myself to. To staying on this side of the road, the whole campus is the size of this room. But I've sworn myself that I'm going to stay on this side of the road. This side of Shidukh Lane.

33:20 And then Rebbe, I don't know. I don't know what happened. I just have no idea. She like she's such a great girl And like a little too close to home. The answer, yes. So what happens? Nothing happens. It's it's It's the pursuit of something great, and it's going to involve Mistakes. Life is messy. And it's not supposed to be this idyllic thing that's perfect the entire time. It's supposed to be this messy, imperfect journey. Because that's where we find the truth is within the messiness of it. And it turns out that the need for perfection is a need for control. And it's not supposed to be that way. It's supposed to be the opposite. It's supposed to be that I'm mevato myself to Akavdesh Baruch Hu, and that I'm giving up control, and that I can make mistakes. And then I learn from those mistakes. Sometimes I won't learn from those mistakes until I do, and it's going to take time. It's all okay. The question is, do you have that voice inside of you that says, 'I'm never giving up on you,' like I'm never ever giving up on you?

34:39 If you do, you have a good shot of staying in this game for a very long time. It turns out that this one thing I can teach you after being here as part of this process for twenty three years, the one thing I can share with you is if you want to know the long term journey of who makes it and who doesn't make it, it's not who learns more, it's not who davens more, it's not who dresses more tzeis, it's not who does more chesed. That's not what it's about. The ultimate deciding factor is who's committed to playing the game and never giving up hope on themselves, and who just doesn't have that level of resilience because they've decided to pathologize themselves, to label themselves, and to say this is who I am. Because the people that say I'm not going to define myself based on my actions. I think I'm committed to this game. I know it's going to be messy. I know it's going to be imperfect. I know there are going to be times like I could not possibly imagine where I'm going to do things that disgust me to my core. How in the world did I fall to that? But I'm committed to playing this game no matter what.

35:43 And then there are people that say I just can't do that. This is who I am. Those people fall out of the game very quickly because they define themselves as failures. I'll share with you a very beautiful martial. It could be you've heard it from me before, but it bears repeating a thousand times. The king has a crown. Wouldn't be a good martial if there's not a king and there's not a crown. The crown has a jewel in it, the crown jewel. And one day the king's crown falls off, and the crown jewel splits in half. There's a giant crack in the middle of the crown jewel. And the power of the king is in his crown. And the power of the crown is the crown jewel. So the crack in the crown jewel is a big deal. And so the king says, "I'll give" I'll give the person that can fix this jewel. I'll give them anything they want." Ad chatsi amalchus.

36:45 So jewelers from all over the land are coming, but of course you can't fix a jewel. Like a jewel is a jewel; it can't be fixed. Until there's one old Jew Because again, it wouldn't be a good marshal without one old Jew. Who comes to the king and he says to the king, "I can fix your jewel" But you can't ask any questions. You can't ask any questions. So the king says, See if you think you could do it. The jeweler takes out a carving implement. And he starts to etch New scratches, new cuts, new cracks into the jewel. The shavings are going everywhere. And the shavings are going everywhere. The king freaks out. The king says, "What are you like? What are you doing? You're making it much worse." The jeweler said, "We had one. We had one thing you couldn't do. You can't question me." At this point, the king has no choice. He's already halfway through the process. So shards are flying everywhere.

37:54 And the king finally steps back. This is nothing I could do. Several hours later, the jeweler comes to him and presents the new crown jewel. And the crown jewel is more beautiful than it's ever been. Because what the jeweler did is he took that crack right in the middle of the crown jewel And he made it as if it was a tree. And he etched in roots. And he etched in branches and leaves, and now what was just a crack is the most beautiful design. This is life. We think we've broken the crown jewel. Don't raise your hand. I'll be able to tell just from looking. How many of you this year? Thank you very much. How many of you this year? And even if it wasn't this year, how many of you in the last three years of your life? Made the mistake that you go.

38:52 I swore to myself I was never going to go past that line, and I went past that line. Now I know. You did it, and you're looking at yourself. And you say, "I'm a cracked jewel." There's nothing left. A person can't fix a crown jewel. The imperfection is what makes it beautiful. Because in the imperfection is where you find that voice of hope. It's where you find that voice of faith. Emuna, at the end of the day, is what we're meant to have. You can't have emuna if it doesn't go wrong. So you learned all these great things in Talmud Torah, and you came here for the year, and you're thinking to yourself, 'Great, now I'm going to go back.' It's going to be amazing. And you might find out Over the course of the next eight weeks, two years, three years, five years, or ten years of your life.

39:48 That it's not true. It's not roses. It's not just this constant journey upwards. And girls come back And they say, "Reuven, when I was in Tzamer Davora, I was on fire, and things were going great, and I was really stieging and growing. And I feel like it's been so long since I had that inspiration. And now I'm married with children, and I'm busy, and I don't have the time to invest in myself, which is all reasonable." And I feel like it's been so long since I took an honest look at myself. And so there's a sense of yish, there's a sense of despair that sets in And what we need is to surround ourselves with zikne yisrael, with Moshe Rabbeinu, with people that come to us even to deliver the bad news, but they come in such a way that they're begging. It's the unheard message. They're begging.

40:41 Don't do this. It's like I don't know if you've ever had this. I'll share with you as the menahel of a yeshiva. This sometimes happens. Sometimes a boy breaks a rule and you have to throw him out of yeshiva. I don't know if you know this. This happens. You have no choice. You have to throw him out of yeshiva. So you do what you know. You say to the boy, "You go." I'm so sorry. It seems like we've come to the end of the line. And in your heart, you know what you're hoping for. You're hoping that the boy stops and says, 'I'm begging you for one last chance. This is not the person I want to be. This is not the way I want to end the story.' And it makes it so uncomfortable in the room. But secretly That's what the Rebbe wants. Do you know how many meetings I've sat in where we say, "we're gonna go to this boy. We're gonna tell him it's the end of the line."

41:31 Let's see if he fights for it. Because if he fights for it, what are you saying to him? What is he saying to you? Don't I want it? I want it. Sometimes you need to get a boy to that stage. I want it. And it could be very uncomfortable because sometimes you really do have to let him go from yeshiva. But when a boy says, "I really want it, Rebbe, don't give up on me" You have to pay attention to that voice. And so you never come to a kid and you say, "It's over." You say, "It seems like we've reached the end of the line" " And then you wait. You wait to see what the boy really wants. And sometimes You have in yeshiva. That the rebbeim, because they love their talmidim, will coach the boy And they'll say, 'Rav Berg is going to pull you in, and he's going to say, 'It seems like it's the end of the line' And you got to fight.' And so a kid comes in, and he hears his rebbe's voice, his well-intentioned, wonderful rebbe. He hears his rebbe's voice saying, 'You got to push, you got to fight.

42:34 But as well-intentioned as the rebbe was, he hurt that talmid. Because what really needed to happen was that the Talmud, for himself, came and said, "I'm not giving up hope on myself." That's what really needs to happen. I have no doubt that in the coming days, weeks, months, and years You will suffer setbacks in this process. Chayav, it has to be that way. The question is Do you define yourself by those setbacks, or do you define yourself as I am badarech I'm on a journey. So I'll leave you with these words. The kedushas Levi, the HaLeger of Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, who was the eternal optimist, the voice of hope For every single one of us. He was a poet. He was a songwriter. So in one of his songs he wrote I'm playing hide and seek with God. And I'm finding him everywhere. And that's my bracha to all of us.

43:47 This is a journey of playing hide and seek with God. Sometimes we'll find Many times it'll be hidden. The question is, will you be able to find God even in your lowest moments Even in the moments where it appears that all hope is lost I want to take the opportunity As this may very well be the last time that I get to see many of you. I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it to the banquet. I want to take the opportunity to thank you for a truly wonderful year. Right after this, I'm headed to the airport to go to America. Leaving straight from here to the airport. And. The reason I'm here, even though It certainly would have been justifiable for me to cancel this year and say I got to go to the airport tonight. And by the way, I came last week for those of you that heard. I was actually here. I didn't realize there was a tule. It was fine. I walked in. There was practice for some show, and they were like it's a ramap echemes show. But they came here because they were using. I walked in. I walked in and there's all these little girls here. You're not Toma Devorah, and it turns out that some of them knew my daughters. My daughters came home the next day. They're like, "Abba, you walked in on practice."

45:13 I came tonight because you don't leave without saying goodbye. You don't leave without expressing your akhar shtove. Being a rebbe is a wonderful gift. Being a rebbe in places like Talmud Ivora is a very special gift. And the gift is that you are the inspiration, and you don't realize that you think I'm coming here to give you sheir, but actually every week you give me sheir. And the share that you give me is showing up year after year in Talmud Ivora to a group of girls that are dedicated Relentlessly. To the pursuit of self-actualization Of growth, of connection to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Al tashli cheni le eizikno. We get old. We don't want to get old. Getting old is. It's not that we turn 40 or 50 or 60. That's not what it means to get old. There are people that are in this room that are 18 years old that could be old.

46:21 Old is when you've grown stale. Old is when you've grown stagnant. It's nice to remember when you're my age. It's nice to look back. And I'm not so old, but it's nice to remember that there's this youthful optimism of never giving up hope. And every week when you show up, that's what you're saying. That's what I come here for. I come here because when you walk through those doors and you sit down, and even if you're on their phones, and even if you're in the back of the room, and even if you're passing notes to each other, you think I can't see. I can see, like. It's one of the gifts of being a rebbe that you're not blind. Yeah, I, this in Berg University we keep our glasses on. If you know. Thank you very much for the inspiration. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a rebbe. And may we be blessed to continue this journey together for many years to come.