Nitzavim / Rosh Hashanah - The Antidote to Fear: A Deep Sense of Belonging

2:14 Everybody. So if the Torah tells us that everybody is standing here today, then what's the implication of that? Everybody. Who's everybody? Everybody means everybody. So why does the Torah then need to say it means the heads of your tribes, it means your elders, your officers, all the men, all the small children, all the women, all the gerim? If it says everybody, then we know it's everybody. And now here the Torah comes and it says everybody, all the way from what appears to be the top people, all the way to the water drawers and to the woodcutters. So why does the Torah have to list all the different types of people? If it's saying everybody, those are the three questions I want to deal with tonight. Everyone have the questions? Need me to review them quickly? I'll review them quickly. Question number one is: Nitzavim means what? Nitzavim means not just standing. Nitzavim means planted. Why are we firmly planted? Second question is: What does any of this have to do with Rosh Hashanah? Why do I need to be firmly planted specifically before Rosh Hashanah? And the third question is: If the Torah says everybody who was standing there today, everybody was firmly planted, then the Torah should not need to then go specifically list all the different types of people.

3:28 So maybe an answer for the last one. You know how when it said that there were six hundred thousand people that left Machaneh That was only specifically referring to the men. I'm not the Pesach says straight out that there were six hundred thousand men specifically. But maybe it's all the people saying that. When we're talking about Venezuela, we're not just talking about the men from this age to this age. Everybody. We're talking about so you don't feel like you're kind of getting lost in all the nice people. Great. That's a great answer. So she, you're saying, what's your name? Maddie. Maddie from where? New Jersey. Maddie from New Jersey. We're in New Jersey. Elizabeth. Elizabeth New Jersey. What's your last name? I like Elizabeth, New Jersey. I've spent a lot of time in Elizabeth, New Jersey. So you're saying it has to tell you specifically who we're talking about, not to leave anybody out.

4:16 Great, great answer. Except one small technical problem. It shouldn't have said kulchem. It could have just listed all the categories. It seems like it needs to say both. Everybody and the categories. According to your answer, it could just give the categories to make sure nobody felt left out. So it seems like both are critical. The question is why. But I think you sharpened our question, and I appreciate that. So far so good. So in order to understand why Moshe Rabbeinu is saying atem nitzavim ayom, we need to just look back to last week's parsha to understand what happened. What happened in last week's parsha? What did we learn this past week? Klal Yisrael heard the curses. They heard the klalos, right? They heard the brachos on Har Gruzim and the klalos on Har Eyal. And the klalos, if you looked in last week's parsha, are absolutely terrifying.

5:03 They're absolutely terrifying. So now Klal Yisrael is in a state of fear. Hashem has told them all the terrible things that could go wrong if they don't serve Hashem appropriately. So now Moshe Rabbeinu is coming to abate their fear. He's coming to say it's okay. Calm down. So what are the words Moshe Rabbeinu says? Let's look at the words again. Let's see if it helps. Remember, imagine you're standing right there. It's the last day of Moshe Rabbeinu's life. You just heard from Moshe Rabbeinu coming from Hashem all the terrible things that are going to happen if you don't serve Hashem properly. And Moshe Rabbeinu comes and he says. You're still standing. Does that make us feel better? Does that help? A little bit. How does it help? Because we're not doing anything wrong right now. So right now I'm good. But what's the fear? The fear is that eventually we all know what's going to happen.

5:55 Eventually we're going to make mistakes. So how does Moshe Rabbeinu saying 'Atem nitzavim hayom' you're still standing here today help? I want to share with you something I think is It's super important. I don't know if I could stress this enough, but I think in some ways this idea is so fundamental to being a human being in this world. There's a fear that everybody in this room has. There's a fear. It's not a fear that we speak about a lot. It's not a fear that we're consciously aware of, but there's a fear. The fear is Am I enough? That's the fear. When you're anywhere in life, what's the core question that you have? Am I lovable? Am I worthy? Am I connectable? Am I enough? Do you remember when you were in eighth grade and you were like queen of your school? You know how they say eighth graders feel like they run the schools. You see these cute little thirteen year old kids walking around like they're in charge of something. It's the sweetest thing in the world. What happens in ninth grade?

7:04 Ninth grade. It appears to me I had four teenage daughters go through ninth grade. It appears to me that ninth grade is the most miserable time in a girl's life. Because the entire chevrat that they had in eighth grade—they're all their friends. What happens in ninth grade? Even if you go with a group of friends to ninth grade, what happens? There's all the drama of who's in my crew now? Who's not in my crew? She went with that friend. She's trying to be too cool, or she's not cool enough to be with us anymore. You know that whole ninth grade drama. You know what I'm talking about. Like tenth grade, it sort of settles out a little bit. You don't really seem to have hit your stride until somewhere in tenth or eleventh grade. Why is it so dramatic? Why is it so terrifying for a ninth grade girl to go through what she's going through? The answer is because what's the pain point? The pain point is Am I okay?

7:53 Am I enough? Any time you go into a new situation, that's what you're asking yourself: Am I okay? Am I enough? Imagine when a girl first starts to date. You have to introduce yourself to somebody. That's a terrifying feeling. To go out on a first date with someone, it's like, what are they going to think of me? How are they going to respond to me? Can I be my true self? You have to let your crazy out a little bit at a time. When you first date a guy, you don't go like, well, here I am, and just tell them all the things about you. It's a slow process. Why are we so inauthentic? We're inauthentic because it's deeply unsafe to be who we really are. If I am who I really am, what might happen? You might reject me. That's the truth. There's a famous line from the Kutzger Rebbe. See if you can follow this. I'll try to say it slowly and I'll repeat it if I need.

8:42 And it goes like this: If I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you. But if I am I because I am I, and you are you because you are you, then I am I and you are you. Want me to say it again? I'll say it again. I'll say it a little slower. If I am I, meaning if I'm me Because I am I, just because I'm me I'm sorry, I said it the opposite way first. If I am I because you are you, if I'm only me because of who you are Right? Then I am not I and you are not you. If I am I because I am I and you are you because you, if I am I because you are you and you are you because I am I Then neither of us are really being true. You ever have that you're one way with one set of friends and you're a completely different way with a different set of friends? We're not fakers. We're not liars. What are we?

9:31 We're protecting ourselves. We're adapting to what's in front of us so that we could be okay. So if I am If I am I, because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then neither of us is being authentic. What's the goal? The goal is that I should be myself because I'm myself, and you should be yourself because you're yourself. And that's a very terrifying thing to be. Now let's say that let's make it even worse. Let's say I could paint you a crystal ball And I could show you the future of what happens if you are not in self. If you're in self, if you're actually yourself, if you're you because you are you That's a beautiful way of being. And in general, if you can do that, life really does work out very beautifully. It doesn't mean that there's not painful things, but you can handle those painful things.

10:26 But what happens if you're not in self? What happens if you're drawing your power from other people? What starts to happen in life? Things start to crumble. Things start to not go well. Did you ever notice that? Did you ever notice that when you're being authentic and you're actually your best self Things seem to just be okay, and even the things that are not okay, somehow you can manage them. Have you noticed that yet in life? But did you ever notice that in the times where you're really just not okay, it just seems like things outside of yourself are really not okay also? Let's say I gave you a crystal ball and I said to you, "This is what it looks like if you are not in self." And now you see all of the ramifications that could come from that. You see the toxic relationships that you're in. You see how, in general, you're reacting poorly to the painful times in life.

11:16 You see your own state of pain that you're in. Imagine you could look in that crystal ball. How scary is that? It's terrifying, Maddie. But what if our authentic selves are actually really not healthy? I personally wouldn't believe that that's our truest authentic self. What is our truest? So that's exactly what I want to discuss tonight. To be your truest self means to be the godly soul that you are. You are naturally compassionate. You're naturally caring. You're naturally connected. All the beautiful things about a person. You're naturally joyous when you're in that state of self. You're deeply connected to everyone around you. You're deeply connected to yourself, and you're okay. It's only when these other parts show up to protect us that things can start to get what you called unhealthy, or what I would call protective, and therefore not necessarily working so well. But when we're in self, it just seems like things go really well.

12:13 Anyone else had that experience? So I'll take from the girls that are nodding at me that all of you agree that way. So now imagine that this is what the klalos were. The klalos were not Hashem screaming at us. That's not a godlike thing to do. God doesn't go like you stand on that mountain and now I'm going to curse you. No. Hashem took which tribes? Hashem took the tribes that all had to overcome things in their life And He put those tribes on the mountain where the klalos were being said. So it was all the children of the shvachos, all the children of the maidservants, the ones who were born into difficult positions. They were the ones that were put on the mountain where the klalos came. And Hashem says, "Look" When stuff happens in your life that's no good This is what's going to befall you if you're not in self. Because life is exceptionally tough.

13:07 And anybody who tells you otherwise is lying to you. Life is not a bed of roses. Life is awesome. Life is amazing, but life will always require going through hard things. The only question is, are you calibrated to handle the hard things that life will throw at you? It doesn't seem like a very nice picture that I'm painting. So what do you mean? I'm going to get married, and it's not going to be always unbelievable. There will be times where we're in friction. What's the answer to that question? Yes. That doesn't mean marriage is bad. What does that mean? It means that marriage requires hard work. It means that marriage means you have to be in self. If you have a job, do you think your bosses are always going to be the people that you want them to be? I had Talmud who was struggling for about a year. His boss was a tyrant.

13:55 Behaved completely inappropriately. And he was staying in the job because he was looking for another job, and until finally his boss fired him. He told me, 'Rebbe, you don't understand. I can breathe a sigh of relief again.' I just couldn't be in that situation anymore. Baruch Hashem, he got a job right away. It's hard to have a boss who's a tyrant. It's hard. How do you deal with these things? You have to be in self. But when someone shows you that crystal ball and they show you here's the things that life could throw at you, that's a terrifying feeling. So Moshe Rabbeinu has to answer that question: Are you enough to be able to deal with the trials and tribulations of life? And this is a question that we ask ourselves every year on Rosh Hashanah. Every year on Rosh Hashanah, when you're looking out at your year You have to ask yourself: Can I handle this?

14:47 Am I enough for this? How long has this been since you've been here? Two weeks. Have you started to think about what this year is going to look like? Start to get a sense of These teachers, this crew, this friendship. I want to tell you something. At some point this year, God willing, this year will be smooth. But already we've seen that this year has been interesting. There were sirens this morning in Tel Aviv. And Baruch Hashem, we're winning the war. We said Mizmar Los Oda last week in the beginning of the year. We already see that this year is going to be somewhat interesting. We already see that there's going to be a lot of twists and turns. Do you think any girl who was here last year thought October 7th was going to happen? When we were dancing on Simchas Torah the night before, was anyone thinking what's going to happen tomorrow morning? Nobody saw it coming.

15:43 So it was a fascinating thing to see. When I saw the guys in yeshiva, when I saw the girls in the various seminaries, they divided themselves into two very clear camps. There were those that said this is hard, but we're going to be able to make it through. And there were those that said I have no capacity to handle this, and they just needed to be out of the country. And it was a very easy line to watch. There were guys that struggled, but they stayed. They said I'm here. There was one guy I remember last year. Right away he said he was out. He couldn't do this. He called his father and told him he was coming home, and his father said absolutely not. This is the time where you're going to learn who you are. You're going to learn how to do hard things. The guy stayed. I want you to know, the two months where the war was like in full-fledged wars, like guys weren't allowed to leave yeshiva. His growth in those two months was so exponential.

16:39 And relative to the guys who left when they came back two months later, it was almost like they were unrecognizable. This year, Rosh Hashanah, when you're looking at Rosh Hashanah, you think to yourself. This is the head of the year. Whenever something is the head of something, you know what that means? It means it has everything inside of it. All the things that are going to happen in the year are buried in that initial moment. Think about it like the DNA of a child. Right before the child forms, what happens? There's all that DNA, and inside that DNA is everything that the child needs to become the child. What happens on Rosh Hashanah? Rosh Hashanah is a terrifying day, in one sense, in the sense that it has your entire year in it. When we say that Hashem paskens what's going to happen in your year on Rosh Hashanah, it means everything in your year is already contained in that one day. Is that not a terrifying prospect?

17:28 Everything Everything. Like women who are davening, am I going to have children this year? Am I going to have shalom bayis this year? Are my kids going to be giving me naches this year? Are my kids going to be healthy people this year? It's not an obvious thing. What's the point in davening? Perfect question. Hang on, I'm getting there. But it's an excellent question. But that's really what we're davening for. We're davening for a good year. So far so good. There are three levels to this. Three levels of how Moshe Rabenu calms down every single Jew. They go in order. I'm going to give you the lowest order, then the second, then the highest. Lowest order is like this. You're a part of something, and if you're not part of it, this whole thing is no good. I'll give you an example of this. I probably shouldn't give you this example, but it's the truest example for me, so I'll just share it with you.

18:30 I had a high school teacher who was not a Jew. And he was our music teacher for senior year. Girls, how seriously do you think a group of five town kids are going to take music in senior year? Probably not very seriously And this teacher walked in. He was a young guy in his 20s, and he walked in on day one. He was so proud to tell us that teaching high school kids was very much beneath him. He walks in and he's trying to be too cool, and he's like, "I teach college. I don't teach high school kids. I'm a music teacher in Queens College. For those of you that are from the Five Towns, Queens College is, or from Queens. Queens College is not that good a college." This is not like a tremendous badge of honor. You're not teaching in Juilliard. You're teaching in Queens College. And he walks in. The arrogance on this guy was unbelievable. He walks in and he goes, 'And we're from the Five Towns. We know what arrogance looks like, right?'

19:27 I teach in Queens College. I don't teach high school kids. So I want you to know, I'm going to be exposing you guys to great music. I'm going to be exposing you to Beethoven and Mozart. And my class was a small class. We literally just started laughing. We're like, 'That's so cute that you think you're going to be teaching us this year.' This is not going to happen. In fact, the principal of my school was leaving that year. He announced in the beginning of the year that it was his last year. So you know what that means? That means that there's nobody who's really in charge of the school. So we literally started laughing at him. And he was so embarrassed, and it became an adversarial relationship right away. He was trying to teach. There were no phones back then, so we were just like. Usually, when kids don't pay attention today, they just go on their phones. But when guys back then didn't pay attention, they would literally just talk out loud in the class, interrupting the teacher. And every week, he's getting more and more frustrated. And one week This is the pinnacle of the story. One week, he comes in and he says, "Clearly, you guys don't care about anything."

20:30 So I'm giving you guys a paper, and this paper represents 50% of your grade. So what was the reaction of 99% of the class? That's cute. Nobody's doing it. I guess you're gonna fail all of us. Nobody's gonna do this class. It's just not gonna happen. But this one kid wasn't the most socially adept kid. Like that type of kid. It's not the most socially adept kid. He goes, I don't think it's fair that it should be 50% of our grade. And every guy in the class goes like this. Dude, shut up. Nobody's doing this paper. Just calm down. And he says, well, it's not fair that I should have to do it. The teacher asks, why don't you think it's fair? He says, because I don't live near a library. Girls, do you know what a library is? There's this thing, physical books, and there's a house where they put all the physical books, and people would go and study in the library quietly. This guy said, I don't think it's nice. You know what a library is? It's like Google, but in real life. It's like a real.

21:26 You've been to a library? Wow, like on a museum tour. So this guy, he's like, I don't have access to a library. The teacher says, well then have your parents drive you to the library. He says, well my parents aren't home because they each have a job. And he says, that's not my responsibility to figure out. And every time they're arguing, somebody in my class out loud goes, just stop it! Nobody's going to do this paper. Just stop. And this is only infuriating the teacher more. And he's losing his mind. Finally, at some point, he takes his textbook, slams it down on the desk, and says, 'I quit.' Then he said an anti-Semitic slur. I won't say that out loud. He says, 'You're a bunch of.' And he said an anti-Semitic slur and he starts packing up his bag. And we're all like this, when it gets serious, when the teacher loses his mind. So every guy is in there totally silent, oh my god, it just happened. We're sitting there slack-jawed because he's not just quitting. He called us a very bad name.

22:23 And finally he walks out and slams the door. And all of us are in silence. And then about ten seconds later. I wish we had started ten seconds later. One of my closest friends looks at me and he goes, "Allah to everybody in the crew room." "This is awesome." And I looked at him and I said, "You doofus! This is not awesome. We are in huge trouble." And he looks at me and he goes, "Why? Why do you think we're in trouble?" I'm like, "We just made the teacher quit." He goes, "They hired an anti-Semite." So I was like," You're right. This is awesome. So we're deciding what to do. So we appointed the smartest kid in class, the one who was a really goody two shoes, to go downstairs to the principal's office to tell him that the teacher quit. Remember, this is the principal who's leaving the school at the end of the year, anyway. We know he's got nothing on us. He goes downstairs. He tells the teacher that the teacher quit, and he comes upstairs, the principal, and he's all angry, and he goes, "I guess none of you guys are going to graduate."

23:34 And I remember my friend, the guy who said this is awesome, the original guy. He looks at him and he was the captain of the basketball team, and all he wanted to do was play ball all day. So he goes, "Does this mean we have a free period?" So the principal goes, 'Have all the free periods you want. You're going to be back here next year anyway.' And he goes, 'All right.' Picks up his ball, puts on his backpack, goes, 'Let's go.' So being a twelfth grade, not so smart young man, I said. I got up and I put on my backpack and I started leaving. And then everybody put on their backpacks and we all went to the gym. And then the Rosh Yeshiva came to the gym like a couple minutes later, in his own beautiful way. And he goes "Guys, fellas, chevra What happened? So this guy goes Anti-Semitic teacher quit on us. So he goes, "Yeah, I heard."

24:21 What are you doing in the gym? So we said, 'Well,' the principal told us that we can take all the free periods we want because none of us are going to graduate. So now the rosh yeshiva is in a bind. Because obviously when they say you're not going to graduate They can't not graduate everyone, right? Let's say there was a certain principal that said if you have a fill in the blank, whoever goes is not going to graduate. What happens if everybody in the grade goes to that? Let's say prom. I'm not saying. I'm just saying. If you know what I'm saying, let's say if everybody goes, then what's going to happen? Then everybody doesn't graduate. There's power in numbers, and kids know that very well. That's why if you have senior cut day, what happens? Everybody has to cut because if everybody cuts, then what are they going to do to us?

25:11 That principle is true here. Listen to what the Alter Rebbe said. The Alter Rebbe was the first Lubavitcher Rebbe. The Alter Rebbe said as follows: I know you're scared. I know you're going to mess up. You're looking forward into the future. Not everything is going to be roses, but there is a saving grace. What's the saving grace? Listen to the words. Atem nitzavim hayom. You can feel confident in the place that you are. You can feel like you're firmly planted. You know why? Kohen. Because everybody is here together. Everybody is part of this. Every single Jew is part of this organism called Klal Yisrael. Some Jews are head Jews, some Jews are feet Jews, some Jews are heart Jews, and some Jews are hand Jews. But every single person is a part of this body called Klal Yisrael. And what's the halacha, girls? If even one Sefer Torah is, if even one letter from a Sefer Torah is missing The entire Sefer Torah is pasul. So the first thing that Moshe Abinu says is, "You're scared."

26:09 We're in it together. And you should know that is the most powerful thing. I want to share with you something that happened within the hour. There was a young woman who said to me. She said, "In her life" I feel very lonely. I feel very lonely. It's not an easy path that I'm taking. It's authentic, but I feel very lonely. I want you to know my respect for this girl is off the charts. There is nothing more difficult than taking a route by yourself. I have a question. Don't answer this question. Don't raise your hand. But it's a question for you to think about. Who are the people that make you feel not lonely in your life? Who are the friends? Who are the family? Who are the people?" And by the way, that was very beautiful. I'm not joking. It's a very beautiful thing. I know you're doing it privately in the back, but it is. It's a very beautiful thing to be able to say you're someone in my life that I feel deeply connected to, and I'm as long as what?

27:02 As long as we're together. If you have a friend like that in your life, call them and tell them. If you have a parent in your life that you can be your full self with, call them and tell them. There was a guy in yeshiva last week. He got in a little bit of trouble, and he said to me, "He goes, I don't want to tell my parents." I said, "You should tell your parents." He said, "Why should I tell my parents?" I said, "Because it's good to be radically honest." Do you think your parents can handle it? He goes, "Yeah, I think my parents can handle it." I said, "So call them." And so he left a voice message for his parents. And his father wrote him back the most beautiful line, like, "We love you. We're so proud of you. We appreciate your honesty." And it was a gift for him, because he shteiged from it Knowing that no matter what he goes through, his parents are with them. I once had the opportunity to be driving a very big Rosh Yeshiva in a car and the rosh hashiva's phone went off. And so he picked up the phone. You have that awkward time where somebody's on the phone and you can hear every word the other person is saying because their volume is up too loud, because they're a little hard of hearing, so the volume is way up.

27:58 So right away, his son was the one who was on the other line, and his son starts talking, and it's super cringy for me because I'm like I shouldn't be listening to this conversation because the kid starts off by saying, 'Dad, you're going to get a phone call from my Rosh Hashanah because I'm getting suspended.' I was caught cutting class again. This was like the final straw, and I'm getting suspended. And I was waiting to see how this Rosh Hashanah was going to handle this moment where he's getting this phone call from his son that I'm about to get a phone call from the Rosh Hashanah that you're suspended. It's not an easy thing to get that phone call as a parent. So what was the first thing out of Rosh Hashanah's mouth? How are you doing? Are you okay? There was something so beautiful about that moment because the kid knew. My father is with me. I'm in trouble, but my father is with me.

28:47 You should know that kid went off the darach. He was completely not religious. He didn't keep Shabbos. He was mamish in a very bad space. Eventually, he turned his life around. Today, he's a guy who's married with several children. He wakes up at four o'clock in the morning every morning to learn. He's like the most serious, committed Jew. I asked him what turned him around. He was headed into a really bad way. I said, what turned around? He says, I came from a family that loved me no matter what. We feel safe when we're together. That's the key to our survival. We feel safe when we're together. That's level number one. That's the easiest level of the three. The second level is a little bit deeper. This is the level of the Labavitcher Rebbe. The Alter Rebbe was the first Labavitcher Rebbe. The Labavitcher Rebbe was the last Labavitcher Rebbe. Listen what the Labavitcher Rebbe says.

29:34 There's another dimension to safety. Deeper than just being together with everybody. There's a halacha, kol yisrael iravim zeleze. Every single Jew is responsible for every single other Jew. It's in this week's parsha. What does it mean that every Jew is a guarantor for every other Jew? Says the Lebavitcher Rebbe as follows: If I come into a bank and I say I want a hundred thousand dollar loan, what does the bank say to me? Who's going to co-sign the loan? Who's your guarantor? If I go to them and I say, Moshele is my guarantor. They say, let me see Maishla's money. I want to see Maishla's. I want to see his financials. So Maishla comes in with his financials, and Maishla has less money than you. Is the bank gonna loan you that money if Maishla can't guarantee the loan? It must mean that if you bring Maishla into the bank, then Maishla has to have enough money not only to pay for his own stuff.

30:28 But he has to have enough assets to do what? To pay for you in case things go bad. Says the Lubavitcher Rebbe as follows. If you say, 'Call Yisrael areivim ze laze,' that every single Jew is a guarantor for every single other Jew, you know what that means? It means that every single Jew has something that's unique to them that no other Jew has. So everyone can be a guarantor for everybody else because everyone has an area where they're wealthy. You have a guy in yeshiva. I'll take it to yeshiva for a second. You have a guy in yeshiva, and this guy is an amazing lamdan. He's a real genius. He really knows how to learn. You have another guy in yeshiva that's struggling with his learning. He could pull him into the beis medrash and say, "Here, let's review together to make sure that we get it."

31:15 But the same guy that couldn't learn is a genius when it comes to relationships. And maybe the genius guy, the guy who's so smart in the beis medrash, maybe he's not so good at relationships. So maybe they make a trade. I'll help you in the beis medrash. You help me in the dorms. And it becomes a beautiful thing where each one of them is a guarantor for the other. And then there's a third guy. This third guy has unbelievable courage. He can get up in front of the entire yeshiva and sing. And the other two guys, even though one of them has emotional intelligence and one of them has intellectual intelligence, neither of them have the courage to sing. So when that third guy sits with them, he adds something different to the dynamic. Girls, I'm going to tell you a secret. It's true right now in Be'er Miriam, although I don't know how many of you are conscious of it. Every single person in this room contributes something to every single other person in this room.

32:08 And to the degree that you recognize that about each other, that's how much you'll be a seminary. It's possible to go through your year in Israel and not feel connected to your seminary at all. Do you know that? There are people that do that. There are people at the end of the year and they go, 'How was it?' They go, 'It was okay. I didn't really connect to the girls.' You know what that means? If someone can't connect to the girls, it means they can't see what they're bringing to the table. If you can't look at another Jew and say that Jew is so special and so unique because look what she brings to our sem, then you're missing out on what Bar Meryem is all about. Every single girl here should be looking at every single other girl here, and you should be blown away and impressed. You should be able to say, 'Wow, she's a genius in this area.' And she's a genius in this area. And look at the tapestry of all the different people that we have here. You know what happens if we live in a seminary and we live in a society where every single person sees the strengths of every single person? You start to believe.

33:11 You start to believe I'm okay. I'm okay. I have something that makes me unique. We have a boy in yeshiva. And you should know this boy. He's not that good in learning. He's really not. But this boy, in so many ways, is my favorite boy in yeshiva. He's second year now. He will work hard on a piece of Gemara. He could work three hours to understand two lines. And he printed a picture for me. I could show you the picture. I probably shouldn't do this. It's not necessarily the right thing to do. Now I'll do it. He printed a picture for me. I want to show you this picture. It's not the right thing to do. It doesn't mean we always do the right thing. I won't show you his name, but I want you to see. See that I'm not making this up. This is a picture that he took and put in my office. This picture is now on my desk.

34:11 If you could see this picture clearly, you see all his notes and all these little sticky pads that he has on the Gemara. It took him hours to accomplish just that small amount. And he wrote to me on WhatsApp. I left the base with a smile on my face today. I crushed it today. I really understood it, and I wrote back to him. I said, "I'm so proud of you. You're a rock star." " And he took the picture of this. He took the picture of this Of this conversation And he made it into a picture and he put it on my office. This is the picture that's on my desk. You should know, in the beis medrash That's not where he's going to be great. You know where he's going to be great. Because the guy doesn't stop working. He's the genius in work ethic. He's the genius in challenging himself. He's the genius in never giving up.

35:04 So there might be a guy in the beis medrash that's maybe a hundred IQ points smarter than him. But that guy doesn't know anything about the hard work this guy is putting in. And our yeshiva is only special when each one of them can appreciate the other. There's such a thing in today's society. It's a terrible thing. We make yeshivas only for the best boys. We make seminaries only for the best girls. By Har Sinai, Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave the Torah to everybody. He didn't say, the olive girls here and the olive boys here, and then the bays girls here and then the bays boys there, and the ones who are like, we'll throw them in the back. They're part of it, so we have to find a seminary for them to go to. That's not what Hashem believes. Hashem doesn't create doubles. We can be guarantors for every single Jew because every one of us brings something unique to the table. If you've got that crystal ball and that crystal ball says life's not going to be easy You know what the antidote to that is? Says the Lubavitcher Rebbe. You know how you can feel nitzavim hayom? You know how you can feel confident on Rosh Hashanah?

36:06 I know what I bring to the table. I know what I can do. I know my unique strengths. I know my unique talents, and I know that I'm contributing something meaningful to the klal. That's level number two. Level number three, and we'll finish with this. I know the hour is getting late. Level number three is this: the Al Shachah Kadosh quotes the Gemara. The Gemara tells the story about a young man that passed away. His father was Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai, and his father davened for him to come back, and he was able to be saved miraculously. He woke up. And Rav Yochanan Ben Zakkai said to his son Yosef, 'What did you see when you were in Shamayim?' And his son Yosef said. You know what that means, girls? I saw a backwards world. I saw an upside down world. The people that everyone said were amazing weren't so amazing, and the people that said they weren't so amazing, those chevrat, they were the most amazing people.

37:02 Comes along the Alshach Hakadosh, and he says on our pasuk Chas v'shalom For a girl here, Embar Miriam. The Alshach was talking to us. The Alshach says, 'Chas v'shalom,' to look at yourself and think like. I know I contribute something, but really my contribution is here. And this girl She's really the top. She's really the one that gets all the attention. She's really amazing. She could take attendance for everybody. She has those. I'm just trying to figure out how to get you back. She's the one who could really chas v'shalom The most dangerous, damaging thing in the world is to think you're at the top or you're at the bottom. If you think you're at the bottom, for all you know, you're really at the top. And if you think you're at the top, for all you know, you're really at the bottom. Everyone has a contribution that's not just a part of the klal and not just unique.

37:57 You don't know if your thing is really the thing. You might think it's a small thing, but it's really the thing. This guy who I just showed you the picture, he probably would say if he was listening to the shmooz, he'd probably say, "Okay, Rebberg, it's nice. I have a koyach to sit in the beis medrash and to really break my teeth and to really learn." But lemaiser, Rebbe, I'm only learning two lines. But this guy, look at him, he's learning Gemara, Rashi, Tosfos, Rambam, Rashba, Ritva, Reb Chaim. He's really learning. I know I'm bringing something, but I'm at the bottom of the barrel. But it's not true. We have no idea how Hashem values things. We have no idea if there's a girl and she's struggling with something small. Something small But for her That thing is like the hardest thing in the world to do. Are we so confident that the Rebbeinu Shalom doesn't get more nachas from that than from the girl who has it easy and always does the right thing?

38:50 I want you to know very often Very often, I see that over the long term, the girls that struggle, but they really work on themselves. Maybe they're struggling, but they're really working on themselves. In the long term, those girls are far, far deeper than the girls who were always the goody two shoes, the girls who always did everything right. I think that we have to look at the way that we are and say, who says we're the lowest level? Look at the pasuk. The pasuk makes it clear there's a higher hierarchy. There's rachechem, shivtechem, ziknechem, veshotrechem, the head of your tribes, your officers, your elders, and then who's at the very bottom? Your wood carriers, your water drawers, those are the lowest of the low. Says the Alshich, nobody knows what's low and what's high. And we'll finish with this story. There's a story that somebody came to the Lubavitcher Rebbe and he said, I'm opening up a new school to bring people closer to Judaism. And the Lubavitcher Rebbe looked at him and he said, Who's to say who's close and who's far?

39:52 It's very easy to think I'm close and they're far, and I'm going to draw you closer. But really, really. Who's to say who's close and who's far? We don't know in the hierarchy who's really the top and who's really the bottom. What's the feeling of safety that we should have? Not only are we part of a klal, not only is our contribution meaningful. When you come this Rosh Hashanah and you say to the Rebbeinu Shlom This is what I bring to the table. I hope that for you this is my sincere avodas Hashem, and I know that for you that's meaningful. And I'm not going to diminish. My unique contribution, even though it might seem small, who knows? Maybe that's the biggest thing in the world. Girls have a ksavich sima tayva and a good gebensh to her.