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This week's question is another very important question. How does one work on finding halacha to be less of a burden? For example, I have a hard time with not singing in front of men, especially when it comes to the Shabbos table, and we may have male guests or relatives, and I want to join in on Zmiros. I get frustrated and feel limited by this, and I want to make peace with it. It's a very important question. For many of us, halacha can be challenging, but I think there's a difference between being challenging and being a burden. Ultimately, this has to be about serving God and doing God's will. So why do we want to sing on Shabbos? We want to sing on Shabbos because it beautifies Shabbos. It's God's Shabbos. He's invited us to participate in it. Well, if G-d has invited us to participate in His Shabbos, then it has to be on His terms. If it's on our terms, then it's a burden. If it's on His terms, then it's challenging. So of course, we all want to have a beautiful Shabbos table with beautiful Zmiros.
My daughters find it very challenging sometimes when we have guests for Shabbos and they can't sing in the way that they normally do. When it's just us as a family, the Zmiros can go on for a very long time and Barak Hashem have all daughters, no guests, it's beautiful Zmiros. When the boys come over for Shabbos, they don't get to participate in the same way. Now that's challenging for them because they want to participate, but it's not a burden because it's what G-d wants. So I've heard many times from my Rebbeim over the years that Yiddishkeit should be like a bag of diamonds. A bag of diamonds might be heavy, but they should never weigh you down. And in order for us to understand the difference, we have to ensure that we're actually serving God and not serving ourselves. So if we're singing Shabbos miros because we feel good about singing Shabbos miros, then when there's no Shabbos miros, because the halacha dictates that there should be no Shabbos miros, we get frustrated.
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We can find it a terrible burden. But when Hakadosh Baruch Hu says, these are the circumstances that I want your Shabbos miros under, and in other circumstances, I want you to abstain from singing Shabbos miros, well, it might be challenging because we love singing Shabbos miros, but it's not a burden. The story is told of Rav Zusha and of Elimelech, found themselves in jail. And in jail, Rav Zusha wanted to daven. And Rav Zusha said to his brother, it's time, we have to daven. Rav Elimelech pointed out that there was a bathroom in the corner, and it was not a bathroom that it would be mutter to daven in front of. And so Rav Zusha started crying, and he was very distraught. And Rav Elimelech asked him, my brother, why are you crying? So he said, what do you mean? I'm crying because I want to daven to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. And Rav Elimelech said to him, wait a second, Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one that told you not to daven right now.
Hakadosh Baruch Hu is the one that gave us the halacha, that we shouldn't be davening if it's inappropriate, if we're in an inappropriate place, one that is not befitting of our prayers. Rav Zusha was so enamored by this answer that he said, Thank you so much. You changed my whole perspective. I'm not davening because I want to daven. I'm davening because the Eberster wants me to daven. I'm used to thinking about davening as I can't start my day off without davening. But now I realize I can't start my day off without doing what Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants. And with that, he began to dance. And Revelli Melech, his brother, joined him. And the two brothers, Zuzah and Revelli Melech, they found themselves in the jail and they were dancing. Well, you know what happens when two tzaddikim start dancing. Everybody joins in. And so as the entire jail starts to dance, the head jailer comes downstairs and he asks the guards, What's going on? And of course, what do the guards say? They point to the Jew, they point to Rezusha, and they say, It's his fault. They came over to Rezusha and they said to Rezusha,
No, why did you get everybody dancing? Why are you making everyone so crazy in the jail? So he said, I'm dancing because of that toilet. And then the head jailer said, ah, if you're dancing because of that toilet, then let's get the toilet out. And they took away the toilet, they took away all the inappropriate fecal matter that was there, and Rav Zusha was able to daven. If we're davening because Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants us to daven, then that is cause for celebration. If we're davening because of the way. that it makes us feel, then what's going to happen when we no longer feel that way?
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