Cheshvan - The Stories We Tell Ourselves When Hashem Feels Absent

2:26 The yikalu elamelach shlomo kol ish Yisrael be'yera kha ishanim be'chag hu achaydeshashvi. When was the Bey'sa Mikdash actually dedicated? Shlomo hamelach bilte Bey'sa Mikdash. When was the Bey'sa Mikdash actually dedicated? So the Pasaqir tells us that it was dedicated In the month of Ehsanim, which is the seventh month, or what we would call Chodesh Tishrei. That's when the Beis Hamikdash was actually dedicated. The question is, when was the Beis Hamikdash actually finished being built? Does anyone know what month the Beis Hamikdash was finished being built? The Beis Hamikdash was finished in? Kessalayv. Kessalayv is a good thought, close. It's Chashvan. You're right, actually Kessalayv is not a bad guess. It was finished being built in chashvan So there's an unbelievable Yalchot Shimoni in Malachim. I want to read you, I'm going to read it to you inside because every word of this Yalchot Shimoni is precious.

3:52 I'm going to translate every word, but try to lock in. That's what you crazy kids say today, lock in, right? Try to lock in to listen to every word because the words are super important. The Medrash asks our question, Mishnah nasa habaiyis bi'yerech bol nasa nol yud beis chodesh. What Happened? The Beis Hamikdash was finished being built in the month of bull, which is what we call Cheshvan. And they went to the Beis Hamikdash, and listen to what it says, Nasseh Na'ul. What does Nasseh Na'ul mean? It means they found that the gates of the Beis Hamikdash were closed. Meaning they found that they couldn't get in. We'll explain what that means in a moment. And it was closed for a full 12 months. V'hoyu hakol mimalmalin al shlomo lomar lobana shal bash'evahu Heiach Hakadosh baruchum Mishre Shrinasolotof maisiyadof They started mimalmalin. You know what the word mimalmalin means? It means murmuring. They started whispering. They started talking quietly amongst themselves.

4:56 And they said why is it that the gates of the Beis HaMikdash are closed? If the Beis HaMikdash is finished, why isn't the sheena present in the Beis HaMikdash? And they started telling a story. You know what the story was? The story was because this Beis HaMikdash was built by none other than Shlomo hamelach. And who of course is Shlomo hamelach's mother? This is where you fill in the blank. This is not boys. You know nach. Who is Shlomo hamelach's mother? Very good. This was called Classroom Participation. We got about 30%. I'm going to get you girls into it. As-Sesham, you're all going to find your Zebu Kogon in the exact right time. See? Just like that. That's called Classroom Participation. All of a sudden everybody was enthusiastic. Whom Ushlomu Ha-Mellah's Mother? Excellent. Very good. Classroom Participation. And what was the story? Again, it wasn't an Aveira. The Gemara makes it clear. But it's a complicated story. How did David meet Bacheva?

5:52 David Amelach Sent Vachavah's Husband to the Front Lines and He Was Killed in Battle and this way David Amelach was able to marry Vachavah, that's a very complicated story. So what did Klal Yisrael start whispering? What did Klal Yisrael start murmuring? They said, I know why the Shechina isn't present in the Beis Hamikdash. It must be because it was built by Shlomo Hamelach and that's why it's broken.

7:50 If it's actually a Beisamiktosh, then Hashem should be present in the Beisamiktosh. And if it's not, if Hashem is not present in the Beisamiktosh, it must be because something is wrong with our Beisamiktosh. They looked at the Beisamiktosh, they looked at it on the outside, they said, the dimensions look good, looks like a nice building. Why isn't Hashem present? They said, must be a problem with the builder. The builder was a problem, and since the builder built it, it must be that it's broken. Because an artist puts himself into his artistry, right? Like you can sense the painter in the painting, you can sense the musician in the music. That's why we're sensitive and we don't listen to people. We don't listen to the music of people that are not growth-oriented godly people because music is a very powerful medium. Music goes straight to Yer Neshamah. And the artist is in the music. You have to be careful what you listen to. Not all music.

8:45 Godly Music Shlomo Hamelach is the child of David and Bat Sheva. Why? And they said, of course, of course. They didn't say that loud. They were very polite. They were just whispering it. They said, of course, of course. It must be because David and Bat Sheva did something wrong. And Shlomo Hamelach is the product of that union. So it must be that that's why the Beis Hemeiktash is broken. Girls, was this the first time in history that this ever happened? When was the first time in history that something like this happened? By the...Mishkan! Very good! Yeah? See that guy? By the Mishkan! It's like, but Maira Beim is like, I would say the absolute wrong thing and Maira Ebe would go, so what you mean to say is, and then he would say the right thing, and I'm like, what you said bared no resemblance to the thing that I said. I know what I said was stupid, so thank you so much for not embarrassing me publicly. I was gonna do it no matter what. I'm sure you were gonna say Mishkan. I just did it so that, like, just in case... No, you were for sure gonna say Mishkan, right?

10:15 This is exactly what the Ya'aqut says. It's not the first time it happened. It also happened by the Mishkan. When Moshe Abinu built the Mishkan, was the Sheneh immediately present in the Mishkan? No. The Sheneh was not immediately present. And the Mejish says, Vahayyushra Amma Mammal and Am Moshe. They started whispering against Moshe. They were whispering against Shlomo Ammelach. They were whispering against Moshe. Lomar and they said, Lammal Lukam Yed Shem Adof Eirbo. How come Hashem's not going right away must be Moshe abinu built something wrong with the mish gun So it's an interesting thing. Just because something appears to be ready doesn't mean it's ready. And Klal Yisrael whispers and they go, must be a problem with Moshe, must be a problem with Shlomo. Shlomo is the child of the covenant by Tzhevah. Now the Medrash tells us an unbelievable thing. Why was Hashem waiting 12 months?

11:07 Hashem was waiting 12 months? Listen to the words of the Mishnah. I'm sorry, the Medrash. The Medrash says, Hashem says Hakadosh Baruch Hu chishev, l'arev Simchas Beis Hamikdash, bechodosh shannol abba yavram You know why Hashem said let's wait twelve months? I'm not even going to explain this because it doesn't matter. But Hashem had a chashben, you know what chashben was? What month was Avram Avinu born in? Anybody know? He was born in Tishrei. So Hashem said, I want to inaugurate the Beis Hamikdash in the same month that Avram Avinu was born. Why? I don't know. Maybe because Avram Avinu was the first Jew to bring our kodesh baruch back down into the world and the purpose of the Beit Hamikdash is to reveal Hashem's presence in the world. So Hashem said it would be really beautiful symmetry, right? If we actually walked into the Beit Hamikdash for the first time, if my shtina was present there when?

11:57 An Avram Avinu's birthday. So that's how Kodesh Baruch Hu said, let's wait. I want to wait. I want to wait 12 months. Not because anything is wrong with the Beit Hamikdash, not because anything is wrong with Shlomo, not because Dovid and Bacheva did something wrong, But just because it happens to dovetail with the birth of Avraham avinu You understand? That's what the ya'aqat says. So far so good? Everyone understand? Everyone's appropriately locked in? And then the ya'aqat finishes with an unbelievable thing. This is the last line that I'm going to read to you from the ya'aqat. I'm skipping a little bit. And he says, in what way will akkadosh Baruch Hu pay back Cheshvan? Because Cheshvan really should have been the month where Hashem entered in to the Beis Hamikdash. You know what he's going to do? The third beit Hamikdash, the chain MarCheshvan, ased Hakadosh Baruch Hu lishalimav Hakadosh Baruch Hu is going to pay back Cheshvan. How's Hashem going to pay back Cheshvan? What's he going to do?

13:00 So the Veneis Asthar brings that the Third Beit Hamikdash is going to be inaugurated in Cheshvan. So that's a fascinating thing. Again, we're going to unpack this mezjash deeply in a moment. But let's just review the mejash real quickly. Yeah? The Medjur says really when should Hashem have entered into the Beis Hamikdash? Really when should Hashem have entered into the Beis Hamikdash? He should have entered into the Beis Hamikdash in Heshvah. Why did he wait? He waited for Avram Avinu. What was the story? What was the story? The story was that they said it must be that something is wrong with the Beis Hamikdash because of David and Bat Sheva. That's the story that they told. But it wasn't true. And Hakadosh Baruch always had a plan. Thanks. Hakadosh Baruch Hu always had a plan to be able to say like I'm going to pay back Chazvan. You shouldn't think for one second that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is not going to pay Chazvan back because it's a little embarrassing for Chazvan. It's ready to go in Chazvan but he's not doing in Chazvan.

13:58 But the third base I make, Chazvan is going to be inaugurated when? In Chazvan. Fine. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful mejish. What's it got to do with us? I want to share with you something that's really meaningful to me personally. I hope it'll be meaningful to you. And I'll speak about myself. This way nobody here feels attacked. I'll speak about myself. You ever have a moment in your life where you felt like Hashem was totally absent from your life? Like just like a total absence. And it comes usually, at least for me, after a high. You know, you're doing great and you're like, you feel like you're dovening well and you feel like you're growing and things are going well. You ever like, not just hit like a plateau, but after that the fall is like tremendous. And there's almost like everything I just did was fake.

14:47 Obviously it was fake. Because if I was really on that level, then I would have stayed on that level. I remember many years ago, I went to Svaat for Shabbos with Mevaseret. We had a Shire Shabbaton, it was the Shannabat Shire Shabbaton. I went to Tzvat for Shabbos, the most unbelievable Shabbos of my life. We rented a mansion in Tzvat, it was a crazy mansion in Tzvat. There's a whole story behind this mansion. The owner of Children's Place, the store Children's Place, his daughter owned this mansion. His daughter was Hozares Bechuvah and she bought a mansion in Tzvat and they rent the mansion out. We were able as a yeshiva to rent this mansion. Gorgeous mansion. We went with our family. This port, you can't imagine. Gorgeous mansion. There's a wraparound porch. The sunset is unbelievable. We davened Kabbalah Shabbos in the house. It was the most incredible davening. The Zmiroz went on forever. And it was like, it was the most inspiring Shabbos of my life. Shabbos morning we davened in Shalom Rav by Ravvweingot Chleta. It was the most inspirational. I took a walk with Ravvweingot afterwards. He gave me a lot of Chizuk on that walk I felt very cared for from Ravon Gaut. It was an amazing Shabbos. After that Shabbos for like a good four months, my davening was on fire. Literally my davening was on fire.

16:07 And I called my Rebbe and I said to my Rebbe, I said, how do I keep this going? Like this would be amazing. Imagine if you could be like that forever. You know what I'm saying? Like somebody really genuinely feels that way and never let go of it. I said to my Rebbe, how do you do it? He goes it doesn't last and you can't expect it to and he told me a story about himself that he remembers that when he was 15 years old in the summer he went to kiyampa goda and he said it was the most inspirational summer of his life and he said eventually the inspiration that excitement it fades because that the excitement never lasts right it could be great you could have an unbelievable fabrangian you can have an unbelievable tish you can have an unbelievable Shabbos and then back to real life no isn't it the way it goes sometimes? Mevaseret Chazal yim hacham shaqon yevarot be'zasham yishua amphayin Yisrael Yisrael Yisrael yevag hagon tzun What's the difference in those two of those? You don't believe in Myshah HaQon?

17:02 That's just fear of the Shiddach system. You're all like, there's not enough good boys. Amen! I asked Maira Rebbe, I said, how do you make it last? Maira Rebbe said, you can't make it last. The only thing is you can remember what it felt like, but you can't make it last. And eventually after a couple of months not only did I not feel that same high anymore I started to feel like almost like nothing like it was like a numbness it was like you show up to davening I went from like being able to have real kavana feeling like I was standing in front of Hashem And then after that it was like Vashmichs.... We had a Rebbe many years ago in Mevaseret that he's like a real balavodah and he takes his Judaism very seriously and like when he makes a bracha he actually enunciates each word Baruch, Ató Hashem, which… And he says it slowly with Kavana was walking by a guy in Yeshiva, and the guy said a bracha But he said it quickly...

18:05 The Rebbe just walks by him and he goes check again I went from having unbelievable Kavana to Bracha And you ever do that? You ever wake up in the middle of Shmona Esri and wonder how you got there? Like actually ask yourself, did I say any of the brofos of Shmona Esri? Like you're taking three steps back and you're like, where did it go? The rough of my shul, the rough of my shul has a good line. He says, when's the first time you have kavana in Davining? By the Sheersha Yom. Because you have to think about what day it is. You get to the very end and you're like, where did it go? And because we're good at it, right? Like, because we know the words so well you don't even have to look in a sitter. I went from having an unbelievable dominant to having a nothing.

18:52 And then what happens? And then you start telling yourself a story. And this is what the story sounds like. If you're like me, if you're not like me, then this is just awkward vulnerability. But if you're like me, and really I'm saying it about myself to make you feel less attacked when I say it, but really it's about every one of us. And if it's not about you, then call it kavod, but it's about most of us. Then you start telling yourself a story and you go like this, I guess I'm fake. Like I guess none of it was real. Like the girl who had a really meaningful Yom Kippur, but like okay, now it's after, you know. And like the high is over, so we're not in that, right? Like back to real life, because it was all just fake. And then you start telling yourself like, I know who I really am. And you start doing, you ever do this, the accounting of your avaras? You ever decide to have like a moment where you go like, I've done this avaira, and this avaira, and this avaira, and this avaira, and this avaira?

19:39 And just start telling yourself what a terrible person you are. And you're, because you know your avayra is better than anybody, right? And so then you start to tell yourself a story, like, you know, maybe it's because... Why do we do that? And we don't say it out loud, right? It's not like we're, it's not like we're like going around talking about it. It's like more like a voice inside of you that just says, yeah, because you're not real, because really who you are is your avayra. You ever have that like little voice inside of you, you know that little voice that says like, you're a terrible person, right? And they're like, you want to shove it way down so that you don't have to deal with it? You know that thing that we do? It's called shame. Shame is the belief that because of my averes I'm unworthy of love and connection. In the absence of Hashem's presence we tell ourselves, you know I don't feel god? It must be. It's my fault. If I was Rebbetzin kanieski then I would feel Hashem in my life all the time. Why am I not feeling god all the time?

20:29 It's because I'm not Rebbetzin kanieski and you know why I'm not Rebbetzin kanieski? Because look at all the averes that I've done. Look where I come from in my life. Now let's tell the story of the mejosh again, because it doesn't sound exactly like that. The base of the mejosh is built, and Klal Yisrael shows up. What does it mean the doors were locked? Maybe it means physically, but maybe it means that they walked in. I'm just making this up. I don't know if it's true. But maybe n'ol doesn't mean locked. Maybe n'ol means closed. What does closed mean? Closed doesn't mean you can't walk in through the doors. What does it mean? It means you get there and it's nothing That you arrive at this moment of the Beis Hamikdash and you walk in and you're like I Don't Sense Anything Different The shechina doesn't appear to me to be present in this moment You Know What I Mean?

21:17 You Ever Have That? You Ever Like... I Had Once... A kid in NCSY kolal had... He was in Israel for the first time You know that's a precious thing And is anyone here this year their first time in Israel? Wow That's wild, that's amazing. So it's a little bit of an unusual thing. Most kids are able to come at some point in their life. Baruch Hashem, we have a whole bunch of people, it was their first time. In your head, did you have like a thing like you're going to get to the Kotel and it's going to be like the single most epic thing in your life? Yeah? And like the expectations are crazy, right? And expectations are premeditated disappointments, right? And you get there, right? And sometimes, because some people have this amazing Kotel experience. I have an uncle, everybody has an uncle Al. You all have an uncle Al. You just have some version of an uncle Al.

22:05 I have an uncle Al. My uncle Al, he's an amazing person. My uncle Al was not born a religious Jew. He's married to my dad's sister. He's an amazing person. He's not an observant Jew. He came to Israel. He came on like some non-denominational trip. It was his first time in Israel. He was in his 70s. And he came to Israel and the trip was so secular that they didn't even bring them to the Kotel. My parents who live here, my father was furious. How could you come to Israel for the first time and not go to the Kotel? What type of trip are you on? They took them to Jordan. They didn't take them to the Kotel. So my father begged his sister. He said, please extend your trip. I need to be your tour guide. I need to take you around. I need to take you to the Kotel. I need to take you to Kevirachal. You need to see the Jewish parts of Israel.

22:51 So they extended their ticket and my father took uncle out to the Kotel for the first time. And when you're walking down the stairs and you know that moment where the Kotel comes Unkel Al saw the Kotel for the first time and my father noticed that he was visibly stirred, visibly shaken. But he noticed it and they're walking down the stairs and my father sees that Al is starting to tear up. So he's holding onto him, he's holding onto his arm. And when they're walking closer and closer, by the time they got to the plaza outside of the Kotel, Uncle Al is a mess and tears are just pouring down his face. And by the time he got to the Kotel and he's leaning on the stones of the Kotel, he's like a child. The tears are pouring down his face and he's heaving, sobbing. And he turns to my father and he says, I have to put on tfilen. Uncle Al is not a religious Jew. I have to put on tfilen. And my father, you know, Baruch Hashem, Chabat is right there, you know, like, you do that, Chabat is there Two seconds later this is what they live for you ever see those videos of people who are running marathons on these chabad?

23:58 Chabbal people are generally in shape. They're like running the marathon with them, putting on Tvilin while they're running, giving them a glass of water. Shammai Shammu Kenosham Uchad. All the summer people are upset. It's the Zilzil Tvilin. All the Labavitur people are like, but we got a Jew to do a mitzvah. We don't have to litigate this by the marathon. Fine. They call them over. They put Tvilin on it. This was probably the first time that Uncle Al put Tvilin on in his life because by his bar mitzvah, they probably put Tvilin on him that weren't kosher. It was the first time, 70s, it was put on Tfilen for the first time and then he turns to my father and he goes, I must own a pair of Tfilen. I have to buy a pair of Tfilen. My father goes, Al, this is not like a $50 thing, you know this is going to be like $1,300, right? Al goes, I don't care. They went right away to a sofa in the old city. My father says, then how fast can you get a pair of Tfilen? He goes, can I have it ready for you in an hour?

24:43 He bought a pair of Tfilen on that day. I have no idea if Uncle Al has ever put those Tfilen on since. But how incredible is it that he showed up to the to the Kotel and he was just like his Jewish soul his Pintalyid was just stirred and I told this story on NCSY Cola which was such a big mistake because this kid who had never been to Israel before the first time now he's thinking in his life he's thinking like I'm going to the Kotel for the first time and I'm gonna break down heaving sobbing and I'm gonna be whispering to the Chabah guy quick come put Tvillan on me right and and he got to

26:15 I was hanging out with a certain person of the opposite gender I'm talking about so inappropriate. That story is available to you. Sure, you could say that the reason you don't feel God in your life is because you're a broken person. You could say that in that little whisper inside of yourself. But there might be a different story. What's a different story that's available to every one of us? Maybe God has something in store for me. Maybe it's important for me to go through a period of absence so that I could learn to appreciate Hashem's presence in a different way. Maybe the reason that we're not always having hype in our Judaism is to see if it's real. Maybe you think, and this is a real thing, maybe you're being, not tested, but maybe you're being given the opportunity to show how authentic your relationship with Hashem is.

27:39 Because if your relationship with Hashem is only based on how awesome it is, then that's not a real relationship. You know, today, there's something, and I just want to say it so that we can like not make this mistake. Today people think when they're dating that if the like if it's not hype every single date, maybe it's not my person That is an unreasonable expectation Not every single date is going to be amazing and not every single day of your marriage is going to be amazing In fact, I'll tell you the opposite There are some days in your marriage that are going to be really hard because you're living with someone who's the opposite of you in In every way not just because they're a different person but also because they're literally a different type of person Because the things that you care about as women my half of the species things are brain damaged Do you understand that for me socks belong wherever they come off That's what it's like if you are on the couch and you don't want socks on

28:40 That's where socks go. And for the girl that just said you. I don't know who you are. I don't know who you are who you said it, but I want you to know I give you a brachah that your husband puts his socks in the hamper. But for most of you, you will notice when you get married that the hamper is like a general area. Rifka went to the following school. She's deeply passionate about the hamper. We're very different. You girls like to talk about what's going on. What's the worst part of things? My half of the species? Nah. It's just not that important. What are you thinking? Nothing. So of course it's going to be hard. Does that mean you have a bad marriage? No. You want to know how real your marriage is? Ask yourself, what's your loyalty to something when it's not hype?

30:05 Because it's easy to be happy on the honeymoon and it's easy to be happy when you're dating. What happens when things get rough? What happens when engagement is hard because you're planning this A ridiculous party for five hours that's worth spending a bloody fortune on and also at the same time making crazy fights between the two families because In what order are we going to walk down the isles? So that's a good reason to make the chasson and kala crazy So engagement is hard. Say there. What happens when things get rough? I want to share with you a beautiful story. One of the times that like I really saw how beautiful my parents' marriage was. There was a three-leak period when my father lost his job. He was in between jobs. Baruch Hashem my father found another job

31:44 And then they crop the video so it's like these ten people going crazy but if you just panned out like by five more feet there's like a hundred people that are like doing this And it's just not that good and I saw a video like this recently at a Jewish event and there was like one video that I was like oh my god that looks like it was the greatest night in Jewish history By the way, why you are interested in that content is beyond me. I do not understand this compulsion that your generation has to post a picture of the salad. I don't get it. It's beyond my... First of all, it's a salad. It's gonna be really hard for you. I said it's a salad and she's like, hmm. You know my half of the species is carnivorous, right? We don't eat the food that our food eats.

33:07 But like, okay, this aider, maybe you'll marry the salad guy. I don't know why I'm picking on you, but a little bit I do, because you're having very visceral reactions to the things that I say. No, you don't have to leave. It's a safe space. Not tonight, but yeah. It's never that hype. Their breakfast is not always the perfect toast with avocado and an egg and it's just not like that. Did that excite you? I just told her a second ago salad it's avocado toast with an egg. There you go. So I understand we're in the same wavelength. Not even a little bit. If you try to live your life that every moment is going to be hype, you're going to be deeply disappointed. You want to know when When you have a real relationship Hashem when you show up to davening and you have a terrible Davening but you can tolerate absence because your relationship is not based on how you feel And that's the big secret relationships are not only about your feelings. Feelings are One dimension of a relationship. You know what else is a dimension of your relationship?

34:20 Showing up. Imagine if you say to your husband, hey can you take out the garbage? And your Husband goes, nah, not so much feeling the relationship today. I think I'm going to skip The Crime of Taking Out the Garbage. What's your reaction to that if you're his wife? Divorce is exceptionally dramatic. You know I have a Talmud who listens to the sheroom when they're posted online and last week in the The Tohmer Tovorche goes Rebbe great shear but like the brain rot like of the seminary like that was a heavy brain rot girls the you have to show up you have to show up to your marriage go back and listen to the recording it's hysterical it's just it's just an average It's just an average day in Torah Tovor. Oh, so some of you do remember. How you feel about a relationship is one-third. How you think about the relationship is one-third, and how you act in the relationship is another third. If you're checked out every time you're

35:38 So you're not feeling it? That's not a real relationship. Maybe Cheshvan has no Yom Tim Tovim, not because there's nothing in it, but because Hashem says, let's see how you live after Rosh Hashanah, after Asher Simechuvah, after Yom Kippur, after you're getting excited for sukkos, after sukkos, after Cholamoi, Hoshanah Raba, Simcha Stohru. Let's see what it looks like to be in the relationship after the marriage, after the wedding. What does it look like when things aren't going so well? That's how you know what a real relationship is. You know what Ashem says? Hashem says, I'm just waiting because maybe there's a moment that right now, local kahtov. But how do you know that Hashem isn't waiting to reveal himself in a moment that's better? You just told yourself the story that you're unworthy of love and connection, but it was never really true. You girls know there was somebody who made a yamtef enchazban.

36:31 You know who made a yamtef enchazban? Yeraven ben Nevah. Who said that? Where'd you go to high school? That's a prospect education right there. I don't think I don't think I've ever had anybody who was able to get the answer that fast That's exceptionally impressive By the way, I love that you clapped. I Love that you clapped. I notice I notice this is like a thing that girls do after they like give a like give a dvar Torah This is my impression of a girl giving a dvar Torah in Tomer Devorah on Shabbos It comes with a paper. She reads it out and then at the end everybody goes whoo And then and then six girls go over to give her a hug Can You Understand A God'sah? Can You Imagine A God'sah? I know I get a hug. You know what I am talking about?

37:21 Why do they need a hug? Can you imagine in Yeshiva a God a God? It's not a drapa. It's not. I'm studying your behalf of the species. It means something. I know it means something. I don't know what it means but it's not a drapa. Could you imagine if in Yeshiva a God gives to the Torah. First of all, if you read it from the paper, that would be epic. And afterwards if the guys went, WOOO! And they would want to give them a hug? I gotta tell the guys to try it, just to see what it's like. Nothing. You're pushing your agenda, it's not true. It is. When girls see girls they give each other a hug and the guys see guys. No, guys see guys, they also sometimes give each other a hug. A little bit of a different type of hug. It's the one hand hug. It's a half a hug with a pat. I think we've lost control of the conversation. Let's go back. So Rivka from Prospect, she says, I don't know, this is a guess, yeah? Rivka from Prospect says, Yeravim ben Navaat made a yamtev in Chazhvan. On the 15th of Chazhvan. How's that for brain? He made a yamtev in Chazhvan. Why do you think he made a yamtev in Chazhvan?

38:52 Very good, because you don't want the people to go to the base of the English. When did they go to the base of the English? In what month? The Sholosh Regalim Yeah, when was the Sholosh Regalim? The Sholosh Sholosh Regalim So they had just gone to the old, they had just gone. No? A month before. Why make it in the eighth month? You know what the answer is? Because Yeravim ben Nevat, he had an idea. He said, I've got to make a yontif in the month when there's nothing. Because in Yeravim ben Nevat's religion, there's no such thing as absence. So I'll fake it. We're going to go dance on top of cars, we're going to make it look epic all the time. But that's fake. In Yiddishkeit, absence is a gift. Not feeling Hashem in your life is an unbelievable gift. It gives you the opportunity to say, what does my relationship look like after the hype? And that's why when is the third base of mikdash inaugurated? Hashem. Because Hashem says, if you can tolerate absence, that's when there's authentic presence. Girls have a beautiful Shabbos.