Alei Shur - 8

2:32 She went to the top steps and she was like, You Don't Know Who You Are. And this was just a little bit of a process. It was like a little bit of a process. You just kind of, kind of stuck down and had to go through it. What an amazing process!!! She goes, you don't know who you are. The truth of the matter is that question of who we are is a very profound question. Not to a five-year-old because they don't have enough of an identity. They don't have enough of a sense of self to say, I want to be this person or I want to be that person. Right? Eye is somewhat fluid, as we're going to learn. But when we speak about eye, Ravioli says, the first thing we need to know is eye is an Ola-Mali. It's an entire world. What does that mean? Ein Ha'ani Rak Osaif T'huvot Aleimit Rachesh Mikhutzolo Va Osaif Sh'ifaz L'Masha Chutzme Meinu Many people think that they are their reactions, Osaif T'huvos, the compilation of the way that they respond and react to particular things that happened, particular movements. Right? Who am I? I'm the way that I react. I don't I want to get up in the morning, I'm lazy, I'm tired, I'm depressed.

3:50 They define themselves by things that are outside of themselves, reactions to things that are taking place outside of themselves. And then they say, I guess that's who I am. Or they'll tell you, I am my ambitions. But if you think about these things, your ambitions might be an indicator of who you are but they're not you. You are not your ambitions. The Raya for all of this is going to be that ambitions are fluid, right? And our reactions to things are fluid. So to say, I am my ambitions is a very silly thing to say. It's as arbitrary to say, as I once heard Rabbi Kellerman say, I love this line. It's as arbitrary to say, I am, fill in the blank, a lawyer, a writer, a Rebbe, whatever, right? I am, then say, hi, Mordechai Burg, size 36 underwear. It's equally arbitrary. If you think about it, why are you any more? Because just because you spend more hours a day doing something doesn't mean that that defines you.

4:49 I probably wear undergarments probably longer than I'm a Rebbe in Mevaseret. I'm a Rebbe in Mevaseret a couple hours a day. I wear undergarments more hours than that. So would it be appropriate? Let's do it with Hosh just because I love you. Hi, Hosh, nice 36 underwear, nice 3G. It doesn't make any sense. But most people are defining themselves by these things that are really external to themselves. And again, we're not saying that these aren't part of our makeup, but these things do not define us. I think the first time I ever saw Hosh in my life, he was wearing, and I'm sure many of you have seen this, he was wearing... He was wearing floaties, right? And I went over to Hosh, it was on a tour last year I went over to Hosh and I said, Hosh, Why are you wearing floaties? And he looks at me deadpan and he goes, just in case.

5:54 And that's when I knew we were gonna be close. That was the moment. Yeah, this guy is good. Yeah, but these these things are reactions, right? We don't define people by these things. By the way, it's very dangerous to do that. It's very dangerous, especially in Chinoch. It's very dangerous to start defining people by their reactions and responses to different things because then we typecast them, right? We say this is who they are and it's very dangerous. We pigeonhole people. As somebody said to me a very smart thing once, we're talking about The educational system and if earlier in life we should be introducing into the educational system real Like okay, if you're going to become a doctor in life, so let's start that already in high school Why do we need to spend so much time? learning some of the Ridiculous classes that we have right I think back to my high school career And I I don't know how much of what I learned Impacted the direction that I wanted to go in my life Nitzotzos V Shabbat teshuz anymore. Yeah. What are you saying? Let's say you want to talk about basketball. Same thing?

7:29 You said it was dangerous to define people by their stuff in Chinoch. Like what would you say on what someone did? Well, let's say you have a Rebbe who sometimes this happens, knew you earlier in your life or maybe earlier in your educational career. Rebeim Rebeim Rebeim Rebeim Sincere people who are doing their best, he's the ADHD kid. Oh, he's the socially off kid. Oh, he's the, you know, people are dynamic. So it's very, we have this question of who am I is a fundamental question.

9:02 By the way, parents do it too. We get so used to a kid behaving in a particular way that as parents, sometimes we make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. We've defined the child in a particular way and the male of the child behaves in a particular way. It's important as parents that we give the opportunity for a lot of different experiences to come from one person. By the way, it's equally important. I'm not just speaking from the perspective of the Rebbe or the parent, but it's equally important for ourselves. If we see ourselves in a narrow way, I've always done this. So since I've always done that, it must be that that's who I am. Mein Hechit Ezei. Why? Just because I always did that. Does that mean that's who I am? A lot of people have this question as they get older. They say, okay Rebbe now I'm getting married, I'm dating this girl. Do I need to tell her things that I did in high school? That's a common question. No. Why would you? I've never introduced myself to someone in the following way. And you'll forgive me for using such a crude example. Hi, my name is Mordechai and I'm embarrassed to admit this but when I was two years old I was just starting

10:12 I'm not going to get toilet rained. I've never introduced myself to someone that way. Why not? It's a reality. Am I holding something back? I'm not holding anything back. It's so not the person that I am that to sit there and talk about the person that I was when I was 14, 15, 16 years old. What was that? It's a great icebreaker. Yeah, it's a tremendous icebreaker, right? It's probably gonna be very bad for your dating career. Do not walk away. Do not walk out of this class with that idea. You have the Hear what I'm saying. It's Because at some point in my life, I was lazy or narcissistic or focused on meaningless things So now wherever I go in my life, I need to say that that's who I am I don't know, but if you feel the need to say that that's the Raya that you're keeping it with you You know what I mean? Don't define yourself by these types of external things. Now, lo, he says no. Ani atzmo hanu olam hachai chayim atzmiya.

11:07 This is a world that is alive. Who we are is alive. We're gonna see what that means, but it's an entire world. It's all encompassing. Mei rovne haadam nalam klil olam panimizeh. Most people are totally unaware of the internal world that they live in. People say all the time I'm self-aware, no you're not, no you're not, it takes a tremendous amount of work to become aware of the things that exist inside of us. It takes a tremendous amount of work. Rov vene Adum Chaim Astrayam B'kiva nalah olamachitsoni Most people, their direction in life is externally focused. Now by the way, that makes sense. Why would our direction in life be externally focused? Because external things often present with a certain gravitas, with a certain importance, a real importance. Like for example, I need to make a parnasah for my family, right? So I'm focused on that external movement. Again, it's an important movement. I'm not diminishing its importance.

12:06 It's an important movement, but it doesn't define us. But since we're so focused on it, that's what ends up pulling us in. So I need to make up for Nasser, I became a lawyer, Mimeleh how do we introduce myself? Hi my name is Mordechai and I'm a lawyer. But again that's not your definition, it's the thing that you do, it might be the thing you spend most hours of your day doing. But it's still Chitzoni, it's still externed to yourself. V'himefachtim This is the big, this line right here, I underlined it in my say for because it's such a big important line. V'himefachtim l'hafoch es kivun chayy empneema el atzmam v'lorak le shaw. B'ikir mitoch sleidh v'vnei haolam hanister b'hazash el atzmam. Most people are living with a type of fear. The fear is if I start to redefine myself, not by the things that I do, but the person that I am, I'm afraid of bringing up this entire hidden and strange world that exists inside of us.

13:03 This is what's called the poison box. Every one of us lives with a poison box, a particular fear that we have that we're going to discover something about ourselves that I don't want to know, so I'm locking it away. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to do the work to find out what's inside of there because I'm afraid of what it is. It's easier for me to remain externally focused than it is to actually discover the people that we are. So it's easier for me to say I'm a lawyer than it is to say I'm a person that struggles with this and here are my talents. It's much easier to define yourself by the external thing. Also, it'd be weird in a conversation if you introduced yourself that way, right? Is that, hi, my name is Mordechai. I'm really talented when it comes to public speaking.

13:49 But honestly, I also have a fear of it, right? That would not be an icebreaker, that's socially awkward, right? We wouldn't do that, right? We'd say, hi, my name is Zevi and I'm a whatever, right? But we're not here talking about how you introduce yourself. We're talking about what is the actual worldview that you have. Because remember guys, how you see yourself inside your paradigm impacts the way that people respond to you outside. If you're living an internal life, people outside of you will have a totally different approach. I want to share with you a story that happened to me. I'll try to maintain the the protection of the person that I'm speaking about. It was not anyone that anyone here knows, but I just want to say it in a certain way anyway. I was in a particular place. It doesn't matter where I was and a knock on the door and a dear old friend of mine walks into the room. I I see him about twice a year back when I go to America. He walks in and he has a particular look on his face.

14:52 A particular look on his face. And he says, um, it's really great to see you. Do you think you'll have some time for us to speak? So I looked at him a little strange because it wasn't, in other words, it wasn't asking like can we hang out. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't like, hey, like, if you're gonna have a half an hour break, do you think we can hang out? He was asking to speak. There was something going on. I said sure. I said just do me a favor. It's gonna be a really busy day. Come back when it's good for you and I'll take a break then. So he comes in and he says this is good for you now. Took a break. He sits down and he's like I saw on his face like it was broken. It was broken. His eighth grade son had just gotten a letter that he didn't get into the high school that he wanted to go to.

15:37 Shabbat shalom. Okay? But that wasn't so troubling because that wasn't the troubling part because that kid will get in somewhere as a good kid. The problem is the reason he didn't get in. The reason the kid didn't get in is because the older brother is in that high school. And the older brother is having a tough time and what this person was reading into it was if they didn't accept my eighth grader, it's probably because it would be too uncomfortable to accept the eighth grader and then tell me at the end of the year that they're going to chuck my tenth grader. You understand? So all of a sudden the writing on the wall was like there in front of him and he was basically coming to sit down with me to say like, I need some help. I need some advice. I need like, where should I send my kids? It was a very Mesubach, very complicated conversation.

16:25 But here's what I admired. This person is a person who's undergone a massive amount of pain in their life. Somebody who I grew up with. Shabbat teshuva asim Pashaat havam teshuvah Tashmam vedasham vedashim Pashaat havam teshuva He must have been sleeping on a bench in Central Park. Mamish not a Pashaat situation but this guy is an absolute superstar in his life and everything he touches and everything he does, he's amazing and he's very, very, very well known in his field. I won't say what field it is. He's a person who went to therapy for a very long time in his life but he's a person not, you know, sometimes people go to therapy and they just become broken by therapy. Beqam like exceptionally courageous powerful people. So he was the latter. He was just this exceptional He is this exceptionally authentic person as long as I've known him by the way, he's been this type of person But what blew me away in that conversation Was he wasn't just talking about his kids. These are the things he was saying things like You know, I've spent so much time in my life trying to avoid rejection and And I'm realizing now that what's going on is this feeling of rejection that's coming up for me even though it has nothing to do with me.

17:43 And I have to make sure that I'm parenting my children and not parenting myself. Because I'm concerned about, this is what he's sharing with me as a friend, because I'm concerned about that in my interaction with my child, I'm really going to be feeling my own feelings of rejection. He was so self aware, so living in this internally alive way, that he wasn't focused on what was happening externally. He just wanted to make sure that as he transitions his kids into this new school, that he was going to be giving them the gift of experiencing it for themselves and not putting his own stuff on them. How many of us are living with that level of internal cognition. You understand? It's Mamish. You're talking about a guy who's checking in with himself? And remember we spoke about being a curious observer of self? Unless you are in a consistent state. I don't want to say constant because constant is unreasonable But unless you're in a consistent state of really checking in with yourself and asking yourself

19:15 What is going on for me? Like what's happening not out here in here? Who am I? You will end up in this gravitational pull to just leading this external life I want to take ownership of this and I want to really be compassionate to myself. They're not really living with that sort of emotional complexity. They're just externally focused. You've met people like this, no? And it's sad. When we meet people like that, it's sad. And here's the thing, guys. When you get older, it doesn't change. Just the things change. All of a sudden, instead of having to be the cool person to impress your social crowd With a particular behavior, now it becomes bigger boys with bigger toys. So it's who has this, who has that, who married this one, how are their kids doing in school? By the way, that last one, and again I'm sorry to go off on the tangent, you want to know how to destroy a child?

20:37 I'll give you the gift of knowing how not to destroy your child. Most of you have on and have this. The gift of how not to destroy your child is, do not make them pawns in this movie of your life to tell your story. Your children do not tell your story. Your children do not tell your story. Do you know how much pressure it is for Rabbi's children? It's crazy pressure because you know what's going on for them? I have to be this person because if I'm not, the Rabbi's son is expected to behave in a particular way. Does compassion speak in the particular way? And worse when it comes from the parents When it comes from the parents themselves sitting down and telling their child... ...You should know... When you behave in this particular way it reflects badly on me. No it doesn't. Children do their own thing. Some kids are crazy... Some kids are more betaicky... Some kids allow the child to be for themselves...I love it when you started off with Cati. Shud. Okay good, I'm with you 100%? Definitely should have been quiet, but it was. Good, 100%. Society is broken.

21:49 Let's take your average congregational rabbi, right? He's the rabbi of fill in the blank, Yom Yisrael of fill in the blank, right? He's got 400 congregants, he is the best sermon giver, right? He's in this week's Torah portion, which can be found on page 497. The Arts Girl Stone Chumash What did they do before the Arts Girl Stone Chumash? They had different chumashim, nobody knows. Anyway, the, so, and now his kid, his 16 year old, wearing his hair in a particular way, dressed in, whatever he is dressed in, acting in a particular way, and now you hear the whispers of, I hear you, you hear the whispers of the Rabbi spoke in this week's parasha on the value of parents giving the same message As related to us in the Sotah Parsha, right? Whatever it is, yeah? And his kid is out there and you know inevitably there's going to be some parent who says, who comes home on Shabbos table and says, how dare the rabbi say that when his own child, when he can't get it together for his own child.

22:54 You're right. It's sick, but you're right. It's the job of the rabbi in that scenario to be the healthy person and to be able to say, my message is true. The challenge of this child is real, but I have a responsibility to behave in a way that gives my child the feeling that their experiences are rich and real without my having it to be in a particular way because of my job. Is it hard? For sure. I want you to know, we had a boy here in Yeshiva once, one of the years, who was in exactly What's the difference between that scenario and saying that we have to act a certain way as Jews to reflect on Judaism? R.Tulpahachuel on Judaism. Right. First of all, when I was growing up, so I was a little bit amorets growing up. You know, like sometimes there are things that like everybody knows but you don't know.

24:27 So when I was a little kid, I couldn't have been more than six or seven years old. I was a little kid I was a after kid. I didn't know much, okay, but I thought that sheh stadium was where you went to Make a chilashim. I Didn't know what a chilashim was, right? But I knew that in camp They told us you better not make a chilashim when we're going to sheh stadium every summer Shae Stadium is more like up above them. Shae Stadium is like around the corner. I like it. You ever see six year olds like in Shae Stadium? It's creepy. All the way on top. Yeah, it's a little weird especially because the rest of the stadium is empty, you know, I guess Like a Tuesday two o'clock game. I remember sitting like the R in Shae Stadium. I remember sitting in like the R in Shae Stadium I remember sitting in like the R in Shae Stadium the stadium is empty. You know I guess like in two o'clock game I remember sitting in like the orange seats all the way on top being like why won't they let us go down? There's all those seats there's

26:01 literally thousands of them. So when we are commanded right to be a kiddosh Hashem, when we're commanded to be a reflection of godliness in the world it's still an option and I believe That God's relationship with me will not be impacted in its essence if I do or don't behave in a particular way. I have an opportunity to fulfill God's mission in this world by behaving in a godly way. I'm going to do my best to take advantage of that. But most of the time I'm going to mess up. When I do, what's the loving voice of God going to say? It's going to be compassionate, non-judgmental. Right? Make sense? Remind you something? A little bit? Maybe? So why don't we have to take that same opportunity to help out our parents who are on it? We have to help them. Just like wanting that opportunity to reflect well on Hashem.

26:54 No, I do think it's important to reflect well on your parents, but that's our responsibility, not theirs. Their responsibility is to educate us in a particular way, to behave in a particular way, and then we have choices to make. We don't really control people ever. I used to think growing up that it was very unhealthy for the parents, I don't know if you've seen these parents, but the parents that like the three-year-old they got the three-old in the shopping cart in Gourmet Glot or wherever you are, right? And you walk in, as Charlie Harare said, you walk into that aisle and then the three-year-old looks up at you and says, We just discovered the cookie aisle together. We've gotten to that place where the three old looks like it's so many cookies, right? It's not like that in Israel. We have less variety of cookies. I was just in Gormeglad I was blown away by the variety of cookies that a person could buy and the aisles are so long and so beautiful Right. It's like a rain forest and the vegetable section. It's like I'm used to like the pigeons and yesh, you know I haven't been back in a long time. So So, which is a totally different type of tropical experience, right? The pigeon droppings all over the peppers. Anyway, the three year old looks up at you and says, I want a cookie.

28:09 And what does the parent say? The first move is the parent wants to negotiate. And negotiating with a three year old is literally the funniest thing you could ever do. Because what do you do? You say, nezavik, right? Clearly people that haven't learned Tanya. Now striving Rebbe Nouni Rebbe Nefsadik Nefsadik Nefsadik I gave you a cookie when we got into the car and if you behave nicely I'll give you a cookie when we're finished and the three-year-old gets that smile of like you think that's this is gonna go down well for you right and now the three-year-old is screaming in the middle of the aisle right and now as a parent you're faced with the choice what's the choice? Give him the cookie here. Do I give them the cookie and teach them that we do negotiate with terrorists, right? Because that's absolutely what it is.

28:59 Or alternatively, do we do the following. You're entitled to sit and scream on the ground. I'm going to continue shopping. I'd like for you to come with me, right? But I'm not going to give you what you want, but here's the problem with doing that. It's the judgmental moms, dads, and myself that's walking by going, you have no control over your child, right? The stairs of like watching your kid throw a temper tantrum while other people are looking at you watching it happen, it's very difficult. So have you ever seen this move? Have you ever seen the parent that loses it in the middle of the supermarket on their child? And how do they lose it? They think they lose it in the way that no one can tell. What does that look like? They grab the child and they yank the child as if nobody could tell what physical abuse looks like, right?

29:46 Yay! They yanked the child and when you look at their fingers, right, they're white because they're squeezing so hard on a three-year-old. Why? Because the three-year-old wanted the cookie and now I'm embarrassed. I think about that, right? I used to think those parents had no control over their children. Now as I'm an adult, it turns out those are the healthiest parents. The healthiest parents are the ones that make the choice. If they're going to give the child the cookie then they've made a parenting choice to To give the child a cookie and that's fine. Everyone has the right to choose what they want to choose, but It's healthier to sit and be embarrassed and to let other people walk by and judge and go I Gotta do what I gotta do as a parent I've made a parental decision if a three-year-old wants to have a temper tantrum, that's fine But I'm not gonna become physically abusive because I'm embarrassed So wish it came up that the guy who's grabbing the child

30:38 The guy who's grabbing the child is a bad guy. Yes. Thank you for clarifying. That guy is obviously focused in an external way. Because think about what he's chosen. He's chosen child abuse. It is. Let's not call it a 3 year old can't defend themselves against a 30 year old parent. A 30 year old parent is a young parent but it's still 30 years old. 3 year old cannot possibly be a child. Shurios everywhere. My daughters would be walking around eating shurios and I would walk and I would hear a consistent crunch under my feet. And it gets to you. It gets to you. First of all, it's like a waste of money and it's like what type of filth. Because you've transitioned out of the dorm life, right? There's that like, you've transitioned out of dorm life. So you're like becoming a person again and then you're like newly married living in this nice place.

32:02 Mr. Gerzberg, do you remember this? Like newly married living in a nice place? Not nice in terms of it. It's not a house. Mevaseret Chirios Ravosai is only the training ground to Legos on the floor. There are not enough curse words in the English dictionary for the parents that steps barefooted at 3 o'clock in the morning who went downstairs to get you the bottle of milk because you woke me up at 3 o'clock in the morning and now I'm stepping on the 5-year-old's Legos. There And he is going back and forth with that truck. It is going to be a van. He comes to Mevaseret and plays with Tani. He is going to be out trucking Tani left to right. The... I don't want to say anything. I am not here to speak badly about Tani but I know he plays with us. Ok, so back to musik. How do we transition back? We do. We do what we do. Ok. Zosvo!

33:31 Kulanu Terudu Ba'olam Amaisa Everybody's tarred, everybody's busy with the world of action. Muskul Rishon Amr Alanu, our first thought says to us, Sh'yeshlana l'harbos b'amaisim b'chol shitkraya kayim, Liv nos v'leitzer Ba'olam v'gam l'hebaanu s'mi minu. Everybody's looking at the world and we want to be marbebe maisim, we want to do a lot. We want to do a lot in all areas of life. We want to build, we want to shape the world, and we want to be shaped by the world. That is the natural desire of a person. We want to create a basis, we want to create a foundation. Everyone's looking to make noise. Everyone's looking to make a foundation. We want to find our place. Ulam ha maimin ha maimin chayv lehizbon imbezer, but a deep person will think deeply about this. Haloh habori is barch manig es olamo. God runs the world. V'hu kol yachol, he is infinitely capable.

34:25 Velon Nitzar Mimanu lahaviyo lamulidetu udaso gambladaimaasenu God could bring the world to its ultimate fruition even if we didn't do anything. Even if we didn't do anything. If I wake up in the morning and do nothing, God will still get the world where it needs to go. So we're all busy trying to create a space for ourselves. We're all busy trying to say, like, where do I belong? Lama Eifomayse But if God could do everything so then what role do my actions actually play? Y'efshur Limsoh Lizzet Tam Acha Rakzeh There is only one reason for action, only one. Takhla Sayyid Si Rehi The purpose of creation is L'Havio Sonu Lidei Shleimos To bring a person to our ultimate state of completion V'Shleimos Masigim Rak'al Yidei Maysen If you want it to be real, Yer'as good as your record. So before the season everyone's projecting. They're going to be 13 and 3, they're going to be 14, whatever they're going to be 14 and 2.

35:56 And then you're 7 and 9. What happens guys? You're as good as your record. People talk a big game. Talk is cheap. You see this in business all the time. Talk is cheap. They talk a big game. I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. Hire me because of, right? Guys you know who moves the needle? The people that show up consistently, do the job with integrity, and do it. They don't talk about it. Leaders don't talk, they do. I always, again, this may be an inappropriate commentary, but it is definitely the way that I feel, and I'd like to share it with you. These, like, how shall I say this nicely? You know how, like, they have these panels on different crises in Judaism? So there's two types of these panels. Some of them are really good and some of them are dreadful.

36:46 And I can tell you which are the good ones and which are the dreadful ones. You ready for it? Here, it's easy. The really good ones are when you manage to get exceptionally busy people in the field, people who literally don't have minutes of their life, and you've managed to pull them away for an hour to be on a panel, they're gonna be awesome. But the people that sit and pontificate on these subjects and they like write articles and they're like the thought leaders in the industry, they have nothing to say. You know why they have nothing to say? Because they're not tashatach, they're not in the trenches. All they are is like, you know, if we did this, if we... No. There's a big difference between, right, the local rabbi who's really working hard with his ba'al batim and the families, and he's sitting with families all day long, and he's sitting with kids all day long, And there's a difference, and you know this yourself.

37:32 And then the rabbi that shows up to give a speech once a month on the youth minion so that he could say that he addresses the youth minion once a month, when in reality the first time that he learned your name was by your bar mitzvah because he had to present you with a gift, right? And the next time he'll know your name is when he comes over to you at your wedding. But in between, did you ever have a real conversation with him? No, and why not? Because he's not Bash'atach. Talk is cheap, actions are real. It's easy to pontificate the people that move the needle in life. If you want to know what's really going inside, look at where they live. Look at where they live. Look at what actions they bring because that is an indication of their shlamos. V'shlamos maseekim rakareidai maisim. Il'ozoz taf gabal maisim chayyev le tapayah olamu apnimi b'ofinsham maisim yechazekes pnymiyusom.

38:18 And so here's the catch 22, and this is where it will all be sensitizing us to, and we'll finish with this. On the one hand we're sitting here and saying you have to lead an internal life. Where's my paradigm? Where's my worldview? What's the lebedic thing that's happening inside of me? Okay, but then Where is it expressing itself without getting caught up in the fact that the expression doesn't define me So let's let's go back to our case of the lawyer. Are you defined by the fact that you're a lawyer? Absolutely not. That's just what you do But being a lawyer should be driven by a particular worldview that I have and that action now is Mechaazik that internal worldview. So when I'm out there being a lawyer, yes on some level it does define me not because I am a lawyer but because that is a symptom of a worldview that I have. You understand the difference?

39:08 And now the way in which I'm a lawyer is going to build me in a certain sense. Let's say for example that you're a lawyer and your thing is I'm an integrity person. I take integrity cases. Right? Now, if that's your worldview and that's the internal worldview that you have, I am going to seek to be an integrity person. Now the way that you handle your clients, right? The hours that you bill them. You should hear it, right? You've heard the Rosh speak about billing hours, I'm sure. Right? Right? How people get, you know, lawyers will bill you for every time they sneeze, right? I was sneezing and I was thinking about you, that's an extra on job. Right? That's not an integrity way of being. Habboreinu zakul Qlamasenu Rosh Tushitin is you being able to mature, you being able to come to a place where you live your life.

40:24 And this is what it says in Mishla'i. Imchach machach malachach, velasei slavat khatisah, imchach tasamatithobo v'rabup sha'achi matasalo, imchach khasamatithomo, omayadach yikach hab'riyam shev v'nezal adam. Creation is designed for a man. Takhli sushal olam ha'maisa, ishlamasadam. The purpose of living in a world of action is so that we can ultimately come to our fruition. Stop here. What was your saying? That actions should strengthen internal views and internal views should be expressed? The internal view informs my action. The action strengthens my internal view. My internal view is I'm a man of integrity. Now I have an action of integrity. My internal view is I'm an integrity person, but then I go out and I do whatever I want. You're not an integrity person.