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One of the tragedies that happens in this week's parsha. There's so much in this week's parsha. I'm sure everybody here is doing shnayim mikra, learning parsha with Rashi. It is a treasure trove of wisdom to learn chumash with Rashi. I want to focus this week on one of the tragic parts of this week's parsha, which is Rachel imenu dying and being buried on the road. Because really, we don't find out the Inner story of this parsha until much later, but it's worthwhile now already to try to glean some of the wisdom of what's happening when Rachel Imenu is buried aladerech. So the pasuk says, "Vatamas Rachel" Rachel died, but he covered aladerech and she's buried on the road, derech Efrat. On the way to Efrat. Hebeislechem, which is of course beislechem. The obvious question. Is where are all the Imahos buried? Maras Machpelah and Chebron. Did you girls go yet to Chebron this year?
So it would have been appropriate, certainly as the favored wife of Yaakov Avinu. Where would we have expected that she should be buried? We would have expected that she would be buried in the Maras Machpelah right next to Yaakov Avinu. And yet We see that she's buried on the road. Why was she buried on the road? We don't find out why she was buried on the road until several parshios later, when Yaakov Avinu explains to Yosef what was really going on. What was really going on is as follows: Yaakov Avinu says, When I came from Paden, Rachel died on me. And then it continues. Ve'ekber Hashem b'derech Efrat. He based lechem, and I buried there on the road to Efrat, which is Beis Lechem. And Rashi tells us, "Al pi hadibur kavras Hashem." According to Hashem's command, I buried her there, which means as follows.
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Yaakov Avinu understood And I think we can all wrap our head around this. Yaakov Avinu understood Yosef. Had some subconscious taina on Yaakov Avinu for burying Rachel on the road. It's a very unglamorous type of burial. Where would we have expected her to be buried? Maran says Machpelah. And Yosef has a certain pain. The pain of Yosef HaTzaddik is where did you bury my mother? Ingloriously on the side of the road. So Yaakov Avinu is now telling. Yosef, something very profound. I know this sounds strange But the reason that she's buried on the side of the road is not because I didn't care about her. How much I cared about her. But because Hashem told me to bury her on the side of the road, which means that this wasn't an accident. This is exactly the way Hashem's plan is supposed to play out. And already, if we stop this year right here, there would be an unbelievable mussar hashkelf for us to take from this. Namely, very often, I would say, even always, the things that frustrate us The things that we say this was not supposed to happen Is exactly what was supposed to happen.
And we spend so much emotional energy trying to make the world the way we want it to be. And if you think deeply about this, again, this is not the topic of today's shiur. But if you think deeply about this, you'll realize pretty quickly we only get a certain amount of emotional energy to spend on a daily basis. You don't have an unlimited supply of emotional energy. How you choose to spend your emotional currency goes a long way towards having the type of life that you want. For example, if you have 10 points of emotional energy every day, which obviously that's a silly way of thinking about it But you have 10 points of emotional energy. Don't raise your hand. How many of us spend so much of our emotional energy being resentful of the way that things are happening? It shouldn't have been like this. And people can get frustrated. You ever have a conversation with a friend that goes for like three, four hours where it's like I can't believe she did that to me, and I can't believe the seminary did this, and I can't believe it worked out like this. How much emotional energy do we spend on something? And we, for sure, know because we all, on some level, including myself, we play God. And we say if I was God, I would have run the world differently.
And because I would have run the world differently, what happened is wrong. As opposed to what happened is exactly what's supposed to happen. And therefore, there's no value in me spending emotional currency on this negative view of the world. Think about that. If you have a husband and you have children, and something doesn't go the way you want it to in work, now you're spending all of your emotional energy being resentful of your boss. What emotional currency do you have left for your children? What emotional currency do you have left for your husband? What emotional currency do you have left for yourself? So people live in a miserable world. Not recognizing that al pi hadibur, this was supposed to happen. That's a very valuable mussar. It's not the nature of today's shir, but just to be able to say in our lives that Yaakov Avinu is addressing Yosef Hatsadim. He's saying Yosef, I know that deep inside of you, you're frustrated with me. This your mother. This my beloved wife. What do you think? You think I didn't care about her? You think I just wanted to dump her on the side of the road? I couldn't take her with us. I would have done anything.
To bury her in Maras Amachpela But rather the only reason I didn't is because there was a divine instruction to bury her there. Why was there a divine instruction to bury her there? Let's go a little bit deeper. Rashi quotes the Medrash And Rashi says as follows: Famous pasuk from Yirmey, which we'll discuss further in the next section. So what's going to happen? So she's going to be an assistance. She's going to provide an aid to her children. Why? Because Nevuzaradan is going to expel us from Eretz Yisrael. He's going to exile us, and on our way out of Eretz Yisrael, what are we going to pass? We're going to pass Kever Rachel, and when we pass Kever Rachel, Rachel Ymainu is going to cry for her children. And what does this do? So we turn to the pasuk in Yirmiyah, Yirmiyah, and it says as follows.
Ko amar Hashem kol berama nishma. A voice is heard on high. It's this lamentation, it's bitter weeping. Rachel weeps for her children. She refuses to be comforted, for they are gone. And what does Hashem respond? Hashem says, "Restrain your voice from crying and your eyes from tears, for there is reward for your work." And Hashem promises, "In other words, Rachli Menu has a very specific role. What's going to happen? Klal Yisrael is going to leave Eretz Yisrael in exile. I want you just for a second. Let's actually unpack this. But I need you to be emotionally open in order to do this with me. Imagine living in this country. You're not leaving in cars. You're not leaving in airplanes. Imagine you're living in this country, and chas v'shalom, the country is taken over by a foreign emperor, a foreign ruler. Let's say chas v'shalom, the state of Israel was overrun.
Chas v'shalom. And let's say we weren't, we all became refugees. Kvi shachad, it's not possible. Nobody's getting out with cars. Nobody's taking their stuff. Every child in this country, every parent in this country, you can put your stuff, whatever you can carry, that's what you can take. Every kid gets a knapsack, right? Dad takes his talis and tefillin. Mom takes her Shabbos candles, a couple of things to eat on the way because we don't know where our next meal is coming from. And imagine you're walking out of this country. Think about the emotional pain that you'd be experiencing. And I imagine that as Klal Yisrael is leaving, they walk by Kever Rachel. And when they walk by Kever Rachel, think about the experience they were having. This is a deeply emotional experience, and they stop by Kever Rachel to David. And Rachelimenu, because she is the ultimate mother of all of Chalal Yisrael, what does Rachelimenu do?
She cries for her children, and in the schuz of those tears of a mother who cries for her children, what does Hakadosh Baruch Hu say? You fixed it. You fixed it. You, with your tears, you fixed it. In the schuz of your tears, the shavu bonim legvulam, your children will return home. So Yaakov Avinu is saying to Yosef a very powerful thing. I know in your heart you are frustrated with me But you should know that Hakadosh Baruch Hu did not have me bury her in Maros Machpelah because Chevron was not along the way. This place on the side of the road, Kever Rachel When Klal Yisrael is leaving, they're going to stop dafka by her kaver. It's going to be her tears that bring us back. What's the obvious question? The obvious question is First of all, what is the nature of Racheli Menu's tears? Why are those tears? What is the nature? I'll explain. What does it mean that her tears, not Leah's tears, not Rivka's tears, not Sarah's tears? It's Dafka Racheli Menu's tears. Why specifically? Specifically her, and specifically, not all cries are created equal. There's different types of crying. What's the nature of the cry of Rachli Menu that it's so powerful that in the schuz of Rachli Menu everybody comes home?
So I want to share with you a very powerful A very powerful idea. There's a concept called being b'adarech. Have you ever heard of this concept before? Being b'adarech. What does it mean to be on the way? What does it mean specifically to be on the way when you're going into exile? When you're moving from the safety of your own home, because that's what a home is. A home is a place where you're deeply rooted. You remember how difficult it was to leave home and come to Beer Miriam. Remember when you showed up in Beer Miriam and it wasn't your bed, and all of a sudden you had roommates, and all of a sudden you had fights about the temperature in the room because that's Thank you so much for coming along with me on that journey. For all of those people that just looked at their roommates. For all those people that said, right. And all of a sudden, you have to contend with other people, and it's like, is this my vibe? Is it not my vibe? What does it mean to go? And not Chassar Shel in the Berurim is exile, not at all. But it is an uncomfortable place for sure in the beginning, until it becomes home, until you start calling Rita mom. Until you, of course, it's natural to you now. Of course, until you start calling your apartment or your dorms your home.
There's a transition period that occurs. What does it mean to be baderach when you're moving from safety into the terrifying unknown? Think about. I'll give you an example of this. There's a lot of transition stages in our lives, right? Think about what it's like for the Shunembeck girls to start thinking about leaving. They've been here for a long time. There's a transition period back into this great unknown. What will I do next? What will be with my future husband, which is God willing, right around the corner? What will be with my future children? There's this. Will I do well if I go to college? Where I go to college? When I go to college? How many of us told the story again? Don't raise your hand. I'll raise my hand. I didn't try in high school, that's why I didn't do well. But really, I think I'm smart. But then all of a sudden, it's like now I'm thinking about going to college, and maybe you're like, I don't know if I'm smart, and maybe I just told myself that I'm smart, but I didn't try because I was afraid to fail. How many of us are sitting in a situation where we're right now in relative safety, but the future is exceptionally vulnerable? Now I'm not there yet. I'm not in exile. I'm not in that terrifying period. But that terrifying period in my life is looming.
What does it mean to be baderach? To be baderach means to be between two identities. There is an identity of me in a state of redemption. There's an identity of me in a state of exile. In a state of redemption, you know what it means. I am safe. I'm free to be me. That's why the best times in our lives are when we are in Hebrew. It's called mishukhar. You know what mishukhar means? Mishukhar means to be free, to be absolutely unencumbered. What's the greatest gift that you can ever give yourself in this world? Fall in love with someone who gives you a deep sense of belonging. That's the greatest gift you could give yourself. That you could come home after a hard day of work, that the kids were driving you crazy. And that no matter who you are or where you are, your husband will say it's okay to be fully yourself.
Isn't that what you know? There's all these silly checklists when it comes to what we're looking for when we're getting married, right? It's like I want him to have this hashkafah, I want him to have this look, I want him to have this job. Girls, you should know all of those things. I'm not saying they're not important, but they pale in comparison to the gift you can get in your life of somebody who accepts you unconditionally as you are. And allows you to be your full self. That's a husband. That's a husband. Where we are in a state of redemption, when we are living in Eretz Yisrael at home under our malchus, under our regime, that's called I'm redeemed. I'm safe. I have a deep sense of belonging. I'm rooted and I'm anchored. Does that make sense? My next identity is what? My next identity when I'm in exile is living in somebody else's land under somebody else's dominion, and even if I'm free to practice my religion.
I'll share with you the words of my father. You're not playing for the home team. When you live in this country under the malchus of David, malchus of Mashiach You're playing for your own team. You walk the streets of this land and you're like, I am able to be me, and in Gullus. It's always a roll of the dice. It's when's the next Crusades? When's the next Inquisition? When's the next pogrom? When's the next Holocaust? There's a sense of even if it's good now, what's going to come next? Even in New York right now, even in America right now. Right? Everyone was so comfortable for a long time. And now the Jewish community is sort of looking, and we're noticing the rise in anti-Semitism, and we're noticing that Mamdani was elected mayor. All of a sudden, life isn't so safe. All of a sudden, there's a feeling of wait a second, I'm not playing for the home team when I live in New York.
And after October seventh, we saw it. Remember, in the beginning, everybody was on our side, and it was crazy how everybody was pro Israel. Everybody in Israel, I want you to know, everybody who lived here, we know the story. We've lived this before. We know the script. What's the script? Give us a couple of weeks. You'll see how the tide starts to turn. Three weeks later, it was subtle at first. Three weeks later, it goes like this. After October seventh, three weeks later, October twenty eighth or so, they started going like What do you expect? They put them in an open air prison in Gaza. Eventually something was going to happen. That was the beginning of it. And then all of a sudden, it was Israel is committing a genocide. And then do you remember on social media there started to be that thing of maybe Osama bin Laden made sense for crashing those planes into the twin towers.
And any normal person in the world was going, wait, what? How did we get to justifying 9/11? Right? And all of a sudden we're living in a reality where it's like Is this the new normal of what it means to be a Jew? Now a lot of us circled the wagons and we said, yeah, but it's not happening in Brooklyn and it's not happening in the Five Towns and it's not happening in Muncie. There's a couple of lunatics that are coming to Tenek. There's a little bit in Chicago, but then there was that mini riot in L.A. Remember that? There was, and all of a sudden things are just a little bit less safe in the world. So in exile, what we have is the fear of we don't belong here. We're visitors, and it's only a matter of time until they tell us to get out.
So what are we in between? This is very important. What we are in between is that we are in between identities. We're not yet out of the country. We're not yet in a state. We don't belong, but we also don't belong anymore. We've been kicked out of our own homes. And in our state of being between two identities, where we're not yet home. We're leaving. We know that eventually we're coming back, but we're not yet home. Who do we meet? That's exactly where we meet Rachel Imenu. And what does Rachel Imenu give us? Rachel Imenu teaches us the following. This lesson is so important. She gives us stability when life is unstable. She gives us the ability to return when you know that everything is falling apart. That is the gift of Rachlimenu. I'll say it again because I want everyone to try to get this as clearly as possible.
If you are, you ever I don't want to give any examples, but you ever exist in a state where Things are falling apart and they're gonna fall apart. Like I'll share with you for me, when my grandmother passed away, she died from COVID, and I was stuck in Israel, and I'm watching it happening. It's like when you see a car crash and it's about to happen, and you go like this, you go like Like as if your arm is gonna somehow stop the car crash, right? Sometimes we see She was 90 years old. She was living in an assisted living facility in New Jersey. She got COVID. This was like a second mother to me, my grandmother. I knew what was coming. Everyone knew what was coming. And you're watching it happen. You're watching things fall apart, and you know it's going to fall apart. Not because you don't have faith, just because it's where we're going. We've been exiled from our land.
How do we stay stable in times of great chaos? When I'm watching everything fall apart, what anchors me? It's the knowledge that this next state of my identity of being the exiled Jew is only temporary. Temporary might be a very long time. In fact, how long does it take for us to come truly home? Until Klal Yisrael comes back truly, could be thousands of years. Now we are blessed because we're living in the period where everyone's coming home. We don't realize it. But Kibbutz Galiyos is happening all around us. You have to pay attention. Look how many Jews are coming home. Look how many Jews are finding their way back to live in this land. So it is happening. But how long did it take? Thousands of years, and all the pogroms, and all the inquisitions, and all the Cossacks, and all of the Holocaust that have happened over these thousands of years. What gave us the ability to continue? And it's as relevant today as it is at any time in history.
It's the knowledge that I'm coming home. It's the knowledge that this condition is only temporary. That's what gives me stability. I'll give you an example of this. Sometimes girls have a hard time dating. I'm talking about like some girls like finish you know shana bet they go home they're like I don't know how it happens but they're like engaged instantaneously. You know those girls like they blink and they're like you know got three kids. And then there's some girls that have a little bit of a harder time. It takes them a little bit longer. And then there's girls that they're starting already to get the feeling of being left behind. Like all of my friends are already like moved on. What gives you the ability to stay stable when things are chaotic? The knowledge that this state is only temporary. I'm coming home. Rachel Yimenu is coming home. Why is Rachel the one to teach us this lesson? Why not Sarah? Why not Rivka? Why not Leah? Why Dafka Rachel?
The answer is very simple. Because Rachel's life is the story of even though she was a wonderful, beautiful person and even though a lot of things in her life did work out Lemaisa Rachelimenu lived a life of terrible pain. Rachelimenu was childless for how many years? And by the way, imagine being childless, watching your sister have the children that you feel you were supposed to have. Because after all, if Rachel Yehuda was married to Yaakov first, then Reuven, Shimon, Levi, Yehudah, they would have been her children, right? And the entire time that she's not having children, she's watching her sister literally take her place. And what does she say to Yaakov Yehuda? Daven for me to have a child, because if not, I'm dead. Do we know the pain of a woman who can't have children? Chas v'shalom. It was a woman on my block that could not have children for 20 years. She was a ganenet.
She was the ganenet on my block. 20 years she couldn't have children. Imagine being that ganenet. That every single day all the little two-year-olds in the neighborhood come to your. And by the way, everyone came there because since she didn't have children of her own, her gan went to four o'clock in the afternoon. Because she didn't have anywhere to go, and she didn't come out on Shabbos to hang out in the park with all the mothers and their children walking around because it was too shattering for her. And there's a crazy story and a whole maseh that they took her to Rav Chaim Kaniewski, and Rav Chaim Kaniewski told her that you have to build a mikvah, and then literally, no exaggeration, that year that they built the mikvah, they had their first child. And they came over in the hospital. You've never seen a celebration like this. She did, like you come home from the hospital. It's like cute. You bring the kid into the house for the first time. When she came home from the hospital, a nachal sneer and nachal zavitan, hundreds of people came out to greet her. Music, balloons, dancing. The whole neighborhood. You come home and there's a welcome home sign on your door. There was a welcome home sign on the entire block.
People were going absolutely crazy because everyone was davening for her. It was she had our she had the child. It was all of our children. Everyone in the neighborhood had this child together, and now when she's walking through the neighborhood and she's with her little kid, everyone's like, maybe it's not so nice. I don't know if she feels badly about it, but everyone kind of smiles, 'That's the one we were all davening for that child.' Rachli Menu lived in that exile for how many years? How many years? Those are the tears of Rachli Menu. And not only that. She did it. What? She did it. How? She told Leah the simanim. Did Leah know that she was this? That she was a plant? No. Rachel told her the simanim in such a way that even Leah didn't know that she was not supposed to be the kala. That was the unbelievable tizkus.
She had to swallow that every single day. And how did Rachel Imenu die? She died giving birth. Everything about Rachel Imenu's life is the pain of not being whole, the pain of longing. Even when she's finally able to have that second child, what happens? Even that kills her. So Racheli Menu embodies the brokenness of life And the unbelievable emuna that a person has to have to know that even in our state of brokenness We're still okay. And to be okay when you're watching yourself slide down into oblivion is the hardest thing in the world. There's a love that Rachel Imenu gives us. This is the love. There are two types of love in this world. There's the love that comes when everything is going well. You know what I'm talking about, like when you're killing it and you're in sem and you're taking notes and you're locked in. Lock in, girls, lock in. And you're locked in, and it's like you're growing, and the teacher comes over and puts her arm around you and says, 'you're amazing, you're so special.' And you feel unbelievable.
And then let's say there's a girl who she's doing great, but naturally she starts to slide, right? Why does she slide? She's not a bad girl. Why does she slide? She slides because she slides. She slides because sometimes that's the way life goes. There's a second type of love, and this type of love is so much more profound. It's I'm with you specifically when you're not shining. That's the greatest love that somebody can give you. I'm with you when everything is falling apart. You know what that love gives you? That love gives you the faith to return. That no matter how broken I am, there are people that are going to love me the entire time. That a Jew in exile knows that Hashem loves me. How do I know that Hashem loves me? Maybe Hashem loves the Christians. There's billions of Christians. Maybe Hashem loves the Muslims. How do I know that He loves what 12 million Jews in the world? Maybe they're right. Maybe Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't love us anymore. Maybe that's why there's the pogroms and the Cossacks on October 7th and the Holocaust. Maybe that's why all of this happens. Maybe the Inquisitions are a sign that Hakadosh Baruch Hu doesn't love us anymore.
How do you know that you're still loved even in your darkest moments? Because Rachel Imenu loved us as we were transitioning to our lowest identity. As we're falling apart, Rachel Imenu says, "I'm with you." I won't stop crying for you. I won't stop loving you, even in this state. And a mother's love is what keeps us going in the hardest times. Grit and resilience come from the fact that somebody loved you into being. You were joking before when you said when Rita was leaving and you said goodbye to her and you said goodbye, mom. You were joking, but you weren't. You weren't joking. A mother doesn't have to be biological. A mother is anyone who says you matter to me always. Not when it's good. When it's falling apart, and everything in my life seems like total chaos. That's the knowledge that you're going to be okay and that you're going to eventually return.
So the tears of Rachli Menu are the tears of someone who knows brokenness and knows that even in their brokenness, I'm still okay. And from that place that she knew in her own life, she passed that on to us as we're leaving, falling apart. We return the shavu banim legvulam because we know that we are forever okay. And this is what Yaakov told Yosef at the end of his life. He said, "Yosef, I know you're upset at me" But you should know the greatest sacrifice that Rachel imenu had. Is she even distant from me in Maras Machpelah? She's even distant from me in Maras Machpelah. You don't think I wanted to be with my wife eternally, but Rachli Menu made the ultimate sacrifice. She said, 'Bury me on the side of the road. I want to be there for the kids.' " That's the type of parents that we, Beis Hashem, will be for sure. Beis Hashem, the parents that we had, and that love that comes from Hakadosh Baruch Hu that we are always, even in. Even in our state of Gullus, is ultimately what returns us back to Eretz Yisrael.
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