Vayeishev/Chanukah - Looking for a Brother

2:39 So again, still, what's going on over here? The Malach Gabriel is sent on a shlichus to go tell Yosef where to go. What is the inner meaning of this story? Not only that, there is another time in the Torah that it says 'Ish,' and you girls know it, and it also doesn't tell us who the protagonist is in that case. You know it because it was in last week's parsha. Ya'akov Avinu vayayavek Ish Imo. He's wrestling with who? With a male, with a man, with a Malach. Who's the Malach? What does Rashi tell us? Esav. Esav's Malach. Sarshal Esav. So we have another question. Rashi tells us in this week's parsha that Ish means Gavriel. Why? Because in Sefer Daniel it calls Gavriel an Ish. But last week we told us it was the Sarishal Yosef. How does Rashi know that it wasn't the Sarishal Yosef that came to Yosef?

3:43 I'm sorry, Reva. Looks like you're gonna have a busy night. Okay, So which one is it, Sarah Shalayshov, or is it Gabriel? How do we know? For example, how do we know last week? Why didn't Rashi tell us last week that Ve'Avi Gishimo meant that Yaakov was fighting with Gabriel? That's question number one. Question number two. What was that? But that's just in this one area. There's a bunch of questions, but this is in one area. A Hanukkah question: Which side of the door do we place the menorah on? On the left side of the door. Which side is the mezuzah on? On the right side of the door. So that the door is surrounded by mitzvot. Menorah on the left, Mezuzah on the right. But really, which side should the menorah be on? Why? Because the menorah should be on the more prominent side. Why do we put the mezuzos on the right-hand side? Because it's the more prominent side. So why do we say you should be surrounded by mezuzos? Put the menorah where it belongs. Put the menorah on the more prominent side. That's question number two.

5:07 Question number three. Yosef Asadi finally makes it down to his brothers. His brothers see him coming. They passed him for misa And what does Reuven do? Reuven goes and he says, 'Let's not kill him. Let's not dirty our hands with blood. Why not? What is Reuven's true intention? Throw him into the pit and get him later.' But when Reuven comes back, what does the pasuk tell us? He was already gone. Listen to the words of the pasuk. What I wrote I didn't write it down. I'm sorry. Listen to the words of the pasuk.

6:21 Yehuda convinces them to sell Yosef. Vayashav Ruvain alabar, V'hinei ein Yosef b'abar. He returns to the pit, and Yosef is not in the pit. Vayikra es begodov, and he tears his clothing. Vayashav alecha vayomer hayeled einenu, V'ani ana aniba. Ruvain says to his brothers, "The boy is gone. Where can I go?" There's something very strange about this pasuk. Reuven's intention was to save Yosef. Reuven's intention is to save Yosef. Yosef is gone. Who should he be concerned about right now? Yosef. How much longer? He had a whole plan. Put Yosef in the pit. I'm going to come back and get him. Now Yosef's gone. Now where can I go? If you really cared about Yosef, as the Torah clearly tells us he did, but he cares about God, he cares for you. If you really care about Yosef, what should your response be? What happened to my brother?

7:32 Where am I going to go now? What are you talking about? That's like people who say, 'I give tzedakah because it makes me feel so good. Thank God there are poor people, so you can get your jollies by giving tzedakah.' Your brother that you just tore kriya for is gone. The only thought you should have is where's your brother? Somehow he's thinking about himself. So I want to tell you an unbelievable vart from the Chiddush Arim. The Chiddush Arim says that this story of Yosef HaTzaddik. Getting lost along the way, it should resonate very powerfully with all of us. Why? Because it's really our story. And he says as follows: How did Rashi know that this man was Gavriel and not Sarah Shalayshov? Because look at the similarities in the stories. Remember, just now we had two similar stories running parallel. This also, the Chiddush Aram, is two parallel stories. Last week, Yaakov Avinu finds himself alone, and who was he fighting with? He's fighting with his brother Esav. This week, what do we find? Yosef finds himself alone, Toev Asada. He's confused in the field. And what's he looking for? He's looking for his brother. Same exact thing.

9:09 With one difference. The difference is not from the perspective of Yosef and Yaakov, but from the perspective of the Malach. Last week, when the Malach sees Yaakov, and Yaakov is going back for the Pachim Ketanim and he's all alone, what's the response of the Malach? Vayei Avek Ish Imo, It's a time for attack. This week, what's the response of the Malach when he sees Yosef HaTzaddik Tohe Basadeh? It says. How can I help you? He see, I see, I found you. I was looking for you. You didn't ask me for the directions. I was looking for you. Two people, two brothers, who are looking to be deeply connected. And in one, Yaakov Avinu's case, he's attacked. And in the other, somebody went looking for him. Says the Chiddush Eirev. Isn't this our story? Aren't we all just looking for connection? What's the word? What's the buzzword of all of psychology today? People are looking for what? We're looking for connection. We're looking to be deeply connected to each other.

10:19 What's the problem? The problem is that in our vulnerability, there are going to be two types of people. There are going to be those that attack our vulnerability, and there are those that are going to seek out who we truly are and they're going to connect to us. Sometimes, when a person is vulnerable, people use that as an opportunity to take advantage. Our response has to be to fight for ourselves, to fight for our integrity, to fight for our authenticity. That was the story of Yaakov and Esav. The story of Yosef and his brothers is a little different. This is the story of a young man who so deeply wants to be connected to his brothers, not because he wants to take from them, but because he wants to give to them. He was sent by Yaakov to go find them because Yosef believed that he had something to share with his brothers.

11:15 What was it that Yosef had to share with his brothers? Malchus, his dreams. Who he was, Yosef knew that he was a king, and he wanted to tell them, 'I am your king.' But he wants to tell them that not in the narcissistic way like Esav. He wants to tell them that in the true way. A king is there to serve his nation. Because without a nation, he's not a king. So he's saying to them, 'I am yours.' Do you know how painful it is when a person comes to another person and he says, 'I am yours' And the people hate him? What was Yosef saying? He was saying to them, 'We're all going to be collecting sheaves in the field. We're all going to be working together to create this amazing unity in the world.' But ultimately, you should know you're going to bow down to my sheaf. But what was the meaning of that? I will support you. I'll be the leader. I'll support you when you don't have. I will give. And ultimately, what happens? He comes down to Mitzraim. The brothers come down to Mitzraim, and who gives? It's Yosef HaTzaddik. It was an expression of love. But they hated him because they felt like you're just trying.

12:19 You think you're better than us? I don't think I'm better than you. I'm other Ab. I'm trying to serve you. Why would he tell them those dreams? If you tell somebody a dream, I'm your king. Of course they're gonna hate you. If you come to somebody and you say, I'm your king, I'm so excited to be your king. That's not something that Joseph ever in a million years thought they would hate. Why would you hate me for that? That's the most beautiful sentiment in the world. So when they hated me, didn't understand. He said, I'm gonna tell them. I'm gonna tell them another dream. He's gonna double down. Why would you double down? The first one clearly didn't go well. And in this dream, it's not just his brothers. Now it's his parents too, the sun, the moon, and the stars. That's why Yaakov Avinu didn't trust that the dream was right.

13:08 Because Yaakov Avinu said, 'What do you mean? Your mother's already dead.' But who is it really referring to? It's really referring to Bilah. But Yosef's coming and saying, 'That was like we're all going to be working together to create this unity in the world, and I'll sustain you.' He must have misunderstood me. Let's go deeper. I want to tell you I had another dream, and it's a cosmic dream. In the cosmos, everything circles around each other. We are all deeply connected, not because of anything we do. We're not actually doing anything in this dream. You're just bowing down to me. But why? Because my role in this world is to reveal the inner actus of every single Jew. Isn't that beautiful? That's what he was trying to say to his brothers. Take it. So when he goes to Shem, when he's sent by his father, what's Yosef Hazadik feeling? My brothers have clearly left. They've clearly left me behind. If you tell me to go there, I will go there because that's all I want. And they see him coming from afar, and we're going to kill this kid because he thinks we're going to battle enemies. This guy is going to destroy Klal Yisroel. And by the way, they had reason to think that. Because Avram had Yishmael, Yitzchak had Esav, Yaakov had Yosef. And not only that, Yaakov's Baruch Hu sat on that bezdin chazal say.

14:20 So they had real reason to think that he was going to be the one to destroy them. So the Malach sees Yosef. And what does he say? Isn't this beautiful? It's just a young man who's looking for his brothers. I have to help point them in the right direction. And by the way, the Malach gives Yosef an inclination. Something is coming. There's something very deep going on over here. You should know. You have to be careful. This is what we're all looking for. We're all looking for somebody to come to us and tell us, 'I see your vulnerability, and I want you. I want to be a part of you.' That's why shidduchim are so painful for so many people. Really, if you think about what shidduchim is, shidduchim is the great equalizer. Every inner negative belief I ever had about myself is about to be brought out to light, because I'm going to sit with somebody who's going to be looking across from me, judging me and saying, 'Are you good enough, or are you not good enough?' That's not true. That's not really what's going on.

15:19 But that's the way we feel. What's really going on? People are evaluating: Is this somebody I can be connected to? Is somebody I can build a family with? And sometimes people say no. It's okay when people say no because they're saying, 'I don't think that you're the one that I'm going to be deeply connected to.' What do we feel? I was looking. When somebody finds you. When you have a yintzayuish. What's the feeling that we have? The feeling that we have is It might just be the one. Somebody might have finally found me in that vulnerable state. This is the two types of phone calls that I get. Phone call number one goes like this: Maybe I can't do this anymore. It's just so many one and dons. I just feel like every single time it's just like another rejection. Or I was dating this girl for three months, or for four months, or for five months, and then just fell apart. I'm so broken. I don't know where to go. I don't know where to turn.

16:14 And on the other hand. The other phone call that I get is Rabbi. I think it happened. What's the feeling? What are they really saying? Finally, because for so long I was just by myself looking for somebody, and finally somebody came and they said, "You, I would like to spend the rest of my life with you." It's the most beautiful, wonderful feeling in the world. This is why when David Amelech was running away from Avshalom, he found himself in a place with people that were not the highest of people, and what does he call them? He calls them an ish. He calls them a person. He says to them, "You're a person. You're beautiful." That's why he says that David Hamelech had Yafei Naim. He had beautiful eyes. It doesn't mean that he had blue eyes. It means he knew how to look at people. He knew how to say, 'Yeah, you. You're all wonderful. You're all beautiful.' That's why so many rebbeim. If we say even the slightest negative thing to somebody, people get so set off. Like, you know what that rebbe said to me? Why are they so? Because what are they looking for? They're looking for somebody to come and say, 'I see you.' And when it happens, even in the slightest tinge of something that was local

17:22 The way that the Rebbe meant it. But what's the feeling that they have? Another Rebbe bashing, another Rebbe knocking me down. I just had this. A Talmud I mamish didn't think in any way that I was saying something that was inappropriate at all. It was the farthest thing from my head. I promise you. Just now, I got a text message from him on WhatsApp. Maybe I'm so hurt by what you did. Didn't even know. I sure didn't know he was hurt. I didn't even know what I. People are so sensitive, and rightfully they're sensitive because it's very vulnerable. The Baal Shem Tov said that all. All the neshama comes down for. Is to meet one Jew who is lost and say Matavakish. What are you looking for? The Baal Shem Tov says we're all just trying to meet other Jews who are searching for something and to be able to see them and deeply connect to them.

18:23 The Alter Rebbe was asked, and I think it's appropriate for the context of what's going on tonight in Yerushalayim to be able to see this from all sides of the equation. And something that Reva and I were discussing when she was trying to get into Sim tonight, unfortunately, so many of our brothers are behaving in an inappropriate way in the streets. How can we love every single Jew? So the Alter Rebbe was asked, 'What's greater, avos Hashem or avos Yisrael, to love God or to love other Jews?' The Alter Rebbe said, 'I don't understand the question. It's the same exact thing. Because if you love someone, you love their children, right? That's why the pasuk says, 'I hafdi eschem Amar Hashem, I love Klal Yisrael. Why? Kinar Yisrael v'ahaveu, because they're my child and I love them. We love our friends' children, even though we barely know them.'

19:11 My friend Yitzi. I see him, not that often. He lives in America. I live here. Whenever I go into America, we try to see each other. But recently, it's been very hard for us to meet up so often. But whenever I see him, I take his kids out to Seven Eleven. So they go, Uncle Matzah is here, so we're going to Seven Eleven. First of all, don't be jealous. Uncle Matzah is a great name. Maybe you'll be happy that your children will have an Uncle Matzah. Second of all I don't really know these kids. I've been here for eleven years. So how much do they know me? I come in. Uncle Marcha takes them for slushies or slurpees, whatever you call it. They don't really know me, and I don't really know them. But the truth is, the love that they have for me is not nearly the love that I have for them. They like me because I take them for slurpees. I like them because they're my friend's child. When you love someone, of course you love their children.

20:13 So the Alter Rebbe didn't understand the question. What do you mean, Avos Israel, Avos Hashem? If you love Hashem, how do you not love His children? Hashem says, I love them because they're my children. So when you see these people and they're behaving inappropriately in the streets, whether they have a good reason or not, it doesn't matter. You shouldn't behave that way. But what should our attitude be? That's the Eibushdris child. The Eibushdris child is having a temper tantrum right now by the Tachan Amikazi. Is the mother having a temper tantrum? L'shem Shamayim, a temper tantrum. I believe he believes it's L'shem Shamayim, but it's not nice what he's doing. He's shutting down the streets of Yerushalayim, that people can't get to where they're going. But you have to understand, there's such a thing as protest. But there's a way to protest.

20:53 This is loyuzu hadar. This is not the way of bnei Torah to make such a stink. It's not the way of bnei Torah to scare women that they shouldn't be afraid to go places in our country. Girls should be afraid that they're going to say nasty things. It's disgusting. It's not nice. We're not trying to equivocate and say that they're doing the right thing. They're doing the wrong thing. And all the Russian yeshiva and the gedolim, you should know, for the most part, all the gedolim will tell you that this is 100% the wrong thing. And every once in a while, usually as Bein Az Manim is coming around, people are getting restless. Chanukah is coming up.

21:24 It's the wrong thing, of course. But for us to sit and speak about these Jews that are L'shem Shamayim doing the wrong thing, L'shem Shamayim, but L'shem Shamayim, how should we speak about them? It's the Eved Shem's child. What's the love that I should have for them? The same love that I would have for any child, as the Ebreisher child. They're also in the streets going mat. We should be going to matavakish. What are you looking for? Because they're also looking for something. What are they looking for? They're looking that we should be able to serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu in peace, without having to have you breathing down my neck to take me to a place that's going to take me away from the Ebreisher. We don't have to get into the politics of it, but we have to go to these people also and say matavakish. We also have to be very, see, to reach out across the divide of the aisle, and to be able to say, "I see you, and I would like deeply to connect you." And by the way, that's what they should be doing for people that are also struggling with doing inappropriate things that are on the other side of the aisle. We all need to be looking at each other and saying, "Matavakish, how can I help you?" This is the way of the Malach Gavriel.

22:16 To what point would you say that about your own sibling? To that point. Again, you should not put yourself in a situation of danger. I'm just saying that at a certain point you're like, Does this person still have my respect for me to see them as part of all Israel? They have to. No matter what. Of course, because even the greatest sinners are still intrinsically and essentially connected to Hashem. And sometimes it's so hard to love someone when they're behaving so ridiculously. How many girls have told me I'm afraid to walk in certain sections of Eshelayim because I'm afraid of people spitting at me. People say to me, how come you don't speak out against the spitters? First of all, nobody's listening to Berk. Second of all, if I have to tell you, Don't spit. We're probably not on the same page already. That's everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarten.

23:18 I don't have a responsibility to step up for every single person who's overweight with a beard and wearing a white shirt because they happen to look like me. They're doing something that is mamish connected, what I understand to be dashtira. And maybe they are following somebody, and maybe that person is very misguided. But it's annoying. It's so scary. I want you. I was once stuck in a terrible way. I was coming home and driving on the highway and punked. As we got to like this section, they all just came into the middle of the highway and just stopped us. They were just standing there, and it was so aggressive. And people were coming out. And you're stopping, and they stop traffic for half an hour. And I was the first car. I was like, what is going on? I rolled down the window and said, please I just want to go to Mincha. I was like, I just want to go to Mincha. The guy says to me, you'll have to wait. I was like, what are you talking about? I have to wait because you just decided to stand there in the middle of the street. Then all of a sudden this guy screams and goes, Chabad kimi she'en no eloka. I was like, you know if you're Chabad it's like you have no God.

24:20 First of all, I'm not chabad, but thank you for the compliment. Second of all, what are you talking about? If you were so l'shem shamayim, you wouldn't say that. So I was, and you should know, I still have a stickle PTSD. Every time I drive by that area, I go a little bit faster because I never know, maybe they're just gonna come and block the road. It's a terrible feeling. But it's an avaidus hamidus that I have to do to be able to say right. The definition of emotional maturity is to be able to hold two conflicting feelings at once. So to be able to say that what they're doing is horrific and terribly wrong and a chil Hashem in every sense of the word. And to be able to say it's still my brother. And by the way, what would happen if the Arabs were attacking us? Those guys would be on our side. And all of a sudden we wouldn't be so upset that they're acting like vil de chayos because they'd be fighting for us. Again, they're not doing the right thing. I'm not making any suggestion on any level that they're doing the right. It's unequivocally the wrong thing. But they're also searching for something.

25:17 We have to know how to have beautiful eyes. It's so hard. It's so hard, and that's what we were talking about. It's so hard. It took me walking, what's supposed to be a twenty-minute walk, an hour and a half to get from here to there because of crazy people. But Adarav, that's when we have to have those beautiful eyes to see people are acting in such a low way. And to know that they're still our brothers, and on both sides, those that are fighting l'shem Shamayim and those that are shaloy l'shem Shamayim, that they want to drive their cars on Shabbos and they want to have the theaters open yushalim and all that. We also have to. Those people are also not too far gone. Those they're also Hashem's children. So listen what the Lubavitcher Rebbe says.

25:57 When you think about Ruvain, it's an unbelievable thing. Where was Ruvain? Ruvain was so l'shem Shamayim. He was so l'shem Shamayim. Put him in a pit. He knew he wasn't going to get him out. He knew Reuven, for whatever reason, he wasn't going to be able to come to his brothers and go, 'Don't do this.' They weren't ready to listen to that because, as far as they were concerned, he was the next version of Asav. He's the next version of Yishmael. So to come and to say to them, 'Guys, don't do this,' he wasn't going to be able to do that. Other Rabbis, maybe they would have come after him. So he figured out a way. Let's put him in a bar. The habarik em ba mayim avonachashem ba akra v'mi yishbo, but there were snakes and scorpions. For whatever reason, Reuven wasn't concerned about that. Maybe he didn't know that there were snakes and scorpions. There's a lot of Torah on that. But let's assume, like the pasuk tells us, that Reuven had good intentions. L'shem Shamayim. Where was he when Yehuda sold Yosef down to Mitzrayim?

26:51 He was fasting. Everybody else was having a sudda. Why wasn't he at the sudda? Because he was fasting. What was he fasting about? He was fasting about the switching of the beds. How many years later was this Ma'ase from that Ma'ase? It was nine years later. Nine years after Ruvain switched the beds, nine years later he was still fasting. This was the anniversary of that day, so he was doing his Tikkunim. He was involved in holy, spiritual, the Shev Shamayim oriented things. Says the Labav Chirava, you want to know where the beginning of the Gullus is? It's when Jews get so caught up in their own spirituality they forget their brothers are languishing in a pit. That's fire. You're so frum, but your brother's in a pit. You should have been there. And that's where Reuven loses his malchus, because malchus means taking responsibility for your brother who's in a pit, not worrying about your own frumkeit at a moment like that.

27:55 I think I've told the story before, but it bears repeating. The story of those Yeshiva guys that were approached by Rav Na'eh Weinberg, Founding Rosh Yeshiva of Eishat Torah, and he said to them, "I need madrichim for my summer program." But they didn't do it because there were girls on the program that weren't dressed so zanua. And they came back to him and said, "We asked our Rebbe, and our Rebbe said that we shouldn't do it because there are girls that are going to be there that are not zanua." But he shmecked in them that there was a gaiva there. They were like, "We can't do it because we're from Yeshiva guys," and he said to them, "If your sister was on a train to Auschwitz." But you weren't allowed to save her for halachic reasons. Would you have gaiva? Would you be walking around going, 'Yeah, can't save my sister because I'm a yeshiva guy and I don't look at inappropriate things.' Again, let's assume for a second that would be the halacha. But still, how could you have a gaiva like that? Your brother is languishing in a pit. Your sister is on a train going to Auschwitz. You're going to be proud of the fact that you're so frum. Other rabbis should be crying. I wish that I'd be able to go on this summer program. But unfortunately, I can't because the halacha tells me that I'm not allowed to.

28:57 I asked my rabbi, and that was the p'sak that I got. But I wish I could, and I'm going to do everything I can around it. If I can't join a program that's co-ed, I'm going to join a program that's single-sex so that I could make sure that I'm out there doing the right thing. But how could you be so frum on the day that your brother is languishing in a pit? And that's where all of galus comes from. Our brothers are in a pit, and where are we? So frum. Baruch Hashem, the batim medrash are full. That's amazing. It's mamish amazing. But we have so many opportunities to do chesed. The person next to you in seminary is struggling. So what should you be involved with? Should you be involved with your own frumkeit or should you be involved in helping her? That's why my rashiya growing up, Rabbi Bender always said that just because you're in yeshiva doesn't mean you don't have the opportunity to do chesed. You could learn with someone who's weaker and you could help them out. There's so many opportunities just to put your arm around somebody and say, 'I see you're suffering. Can I help?' Gullus occurs when we forget about that.

29:59 So I want to add something on. And when does geula start? There's another parallel story here. Reuven, I don't know why I keep seeing these parallel stories. Reuven, he missed it, and what did he say? He said, 'Now where am I going to go? Because in a certain way, what was Ruvain focused on? He was focused on himself. How can I go back to my father?' I was supposed to be the Melech. I was supposed to take responsibility for all of the Kinderloch. But my brother is gone. So he wasn't focused on himself in the sense that he was saying, in the narcissistic sense. He was saying, 'I'm the Melech, and I blew it, and he lost his Malkos. How can I go back to my father?' Yehuda doesn't know that he's speaking to Yosef. And what does he say to Yosef? 'Ech el e l avi, how will I return to my father?' V'hanar einana iti. And that's the line that Yosef breaks. And he says what? Cleans everybody out, and he says, 'Ani Yosef, Ida vichai.' The words that Yosef HaTzaddik has been waiting to say to his brothers for so many years: 'I am your brother, Ani Yosef. It was me the whole time when you couldn't see me.'

31:23 All those painful moments when Yosef HaTzaddik is in Mitsrayim and they're looking right at him and they still can't see him. They're missing those Yafei Nayim. They can't imagine that this is Yosef HaTzaddik. By the way, they must have known that it was Yosef HaTzaddik because he looked like Yaakov. When he looked in the mirror, some say that he was looking at a reflection of himself. Yosef looked like Yaakov and now he must have really looked like Yaakov because it was twenty-two years later. And Rashi says, "Why didn't they recognize him? Because he had a beard. Mr. Yaakov had a beard." I can't imagine Yaakov was clean-shaven. I don't know why. Because #FearTheBeard. It had to be for so many years. True. By the way, the guys in yeshiva are making some Berg merch. They have a silhouette of my face. FearTheBeard It's coming out. It'll be available for purchase for a nominal fee.

32:19 My own marketing campaign. But what was Yehuda saying? Who was saying, 'Ech el al Aviva hanarein anati'? It was the Tikkun, and that's when he became Melech. Really, it was by tzadka mi many. But this was Yehuda becoming the Melech. He's saying, 'I'm not leaving my brother behind.' That was Yehuda. That's Malchus. That's the Malchus of Yehuda. Coming to Yosef and saying, 'I'm not leaving Binyamin behind. We made this mistake already once. I saw my brother make this mistake. I saw Reuven lose his Malchus because he was so frum, and his brother was languishing in a pit. And my brother now Binyamin is in jail' And I'm not leaving without him. And if I have to kill you, I will. He was very strong, Yehuda. There was going to be a massive battle. It was Menashe and Ephraim who were very strong. Yehuda was very strong. It was going to be a massive battle. He was threatening to take down all of Mitzrayim. He said, "We'll destroy all of Mitzrayim if we need to." But I'm not leaving here without my brother.

33:13 So listen now, listen deeply to why we put in there Chanukah, where we put it. The mezuzah goes on the right-hand side, and the menorah goes on the left. Where should the menorah be? It should be on the right. The pasuk says, "Uchsavtem al mezuzos be'secha." We put the mezuzos on our house. Uchsavtem al mezuzos be'secha. What does be'secha mean? Be'secha means derech biyosha, from where you enter. So when you're coming into this room, when you enter, where's the mezuzah? On the right. But from our perspective now, when we're leaving, where's the mezuzah? On the left. So where do we put the menorah? Do we really put it on the left-hand side? We put the menorah on the left-hand side if you're coming into the house. If you're going out of the house, which side is the menorah on? It's on the right.

34:24 So it's really a question of perspective. If the mezuzah is on the right-hand side, why is it on the right-hand side? Because it's about derech biyosto. When you come into your home, you should have a certain consciousness. When you come into your home, there's a mezuzah. So before you enter, you kiss the mezuzah. You bring with you all of that shalom bayis. They say about Rishlam Zamenorbach that before he knocked on the door, he would straighten his kapata and he would get ready to greet the shechina before he would knock on the door. Because come in with a certain perspective of shalom bayis. But what perspective do we have when we leave the house? The mezuzah is not on the left. The mezuzah is on the right. The Hanukkah Neros are not on the left. They're on the right. But it's from the perspective of leaving. Why? Because the mezuzah teaches us how to be internal. The menorah teaches us how to go out. That's why the whole Yisodeh Ner Hanukkah is persmanes.

35:23 Even though, really, what was the bigger miracle? The bigger miracle wasn't the Parshemen. What was the bigger miracle? That a tiny group of Jews. We're not the best fighters. I don't know if you know this about Jews. We're not really. You ever see two Jews fighting? They like push each other. If a Jew ever throws a punch, It's like, ooh, You're gonna get suspended. Maybe expelled. In my high school growing up, we were two guys that had like a big fight. They were pushing each other, and one of them pushed the other through a window. He didn't go out, but he shattered the whole window. It was like a big window. So immediately, what did they do? These two kids, because they knew they were in big trouble, said whoever comes, whatever principal comes, we stick to our story. We were play fighting. So the principal came up. We were play fighting. So I couldn't get in trouble because it was play fighting. From then on, in this school, there's a rule: play fighting is suspension. And if you go to the school

36:14 Aya Yamezadeh, this big picture window in the front. There's a wooden bar right in front of the window, which isn't going to do anything. But they put that wooden bar up. I remember the day they put it up. You should know. Whenever I have kids in the Vassar from this school, I always say to them. I say, 'Do you know why that wooden bar is there?' They go, 'No, that wooden bar doesn't even make any sense. Nothing like it wouldn't stop anyone from doing anything.' I said, 'I'm going to ask you another one. Are they still very mad, but on play fighting?' They're like, 'Yeah, why do they go so crazy over play fighting?' I said, 'I'll tell you the story. It's because these two guys were really fighting. They blamed it on play fighting.' And one of them pushed the other through the window. I remember the day that happened. I came running out. The whole thing was like, 'Whoa!' Because Jews don't fight very well. The greater miracle is that we took on the entire Greek army. That this story should not be about Ner Hanuka. Why is it about Ner Hanuka? Why is it about Pershmanes? And by the way, The Malbim says even to Gentiles, that everybody should know. Why? Because that's the way a Jew goes out into the world. A Jew goes out into the world to be mitharsay in the nes, to tell the world.

37:20 There's an eivshter. A Jew goes out into the world to find those people that are searching for God and to say, 'Come with us. We'll show you the way.' You should know it's going to be a little treacherous. We're here to connect to you. That's where we light up the darkness, and that's why the Pachshimin is the next, because the Pachshimin is the Jew that cannot be extinguished. It's that Jew that looks from the outside so distant and so removed, but really, what's that Jew? That Jew is so deeply connected. What's our job to come to be Mefarshim? As we leave our house to take the Chanukkaniros with us, and to say to those Jews, those Pachshem and Jews, you know how pure you are. Nothing could ever break this impurity. Nothing could ever break you, because at the end, Elaikain Neshamash Nesatabi Tahiriki. The soul of God is never going to be corrupted.

38:09 And then every day we take that person, we connect to them, and Anachalay, Anachalay, Anachalay, until we've illuminated all the way to eight, beyond Tava. We took a Jew who was Mamish here. We brought them all the way up. How is that possible? It's because of the way that we saw them, the way we see the outside world. When everybody else sees darkness, a Jew sees light. That's what it means. May Afele Lo Eira. That when we see the world, we have to have those Einayim, we have to have those Yafeinayim to see the world in a beautiful way. Shabbat could be a lichtig Chanukah for all of us. Amen.